0075. Robbie Goodwin and Kelly Taylor

Summary

Zac Amico's Morning Zoo – Episode 75: Robbie Goodwin and Kelly Taylor

Date: January 2, 2026
Guests: Robbie Goodwin, Kelly Taylor
Host: Zac Amico
Podcast Network: GaS Digital Network

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Episode Overview

This lively, chaotic episode of Zac Amico's Morning Zoo features comedians Robbie Goodwin and Kelly Taylor. Together, they riff on everything from unorthodox Christmas movie favorites and true crime rabbit holes to the weird world of airport customs, neurodiverse bodies, and the internet’s strangest characters. Zac, Robbie, and Kelly keep the pace fast and irreverent, shifting between pop culture, real-life oddities, bodily functions, and their signature twisted sense of humor.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Holiday Recap – Movies, TV, and Traditions

[02:21 – 06:10]

• The trio compare Christmas movie lineups:
  • Zac watched Home Alone (1 & 2), Christmas Vacation, Elf, Muppet Christmas Carol, and the modern action flick Violent Night.
  • Robbie defends Ron Howard’s The Grinch as the best Christmas movie, praises Jim Carrey’s performance, and says, "He should win an Oscar for just all the makeup and paint." (03:20).
  • Kelly’s house watched horror instead: "We just got off the high of Welcome to Derry."
• They trade opinions on dark Christmas movies—a genre for adults: Krampus, Better Watch Out, and "Christmas movies for adults" like Eyes Wide Shut and the infamous Deck the Halls production saga.

2. New Year, New Projects – Plugs & Comedy Life

[06:19 – 08:52]

• Robbie announces the rebranding of his podcast: "Me and Dalton are rebranding our podcast to the Arena of Ideas…our swords are facts, our shields are logic." (06:23)
• Kelly promises new episodes of I Feel Fat Today, and shouts out Robbie as a guest.
• Zac plugs his touring dates, including stand-up dates in Ohio, Toronto, and an upcoming stint with Juggalo Championship Wrestling.

3. Neurodivergence, Body Shapes, and “The Big-Butt-Autism Connection”

[09:45 – 16:12]

• Zac introduces a quirky article positing that a prominent posterior (“big butt”) might be a “sneaky sign of autism or ADHD.”
• Robbie jokes, "It explains my massive ass." (10:08), while Zac describes the "nerd walk" among his friends—walking heel-toe, head forward, "like the bully from Recess."
• They get visual: “If you looked at this chart and it said autistic, not autistic, you would go, oh, yeah, definitely.” (13:13)
• The trio riff that this is the new “BBL”: “The new BBL is the ADHD walk.” (14:01)
• They explore how mimicking, muscle tone, posture, and even fashion intersect in communities with neurodivergence.

4. True Crime Deep Dive – Gypsy Rose Blanchard

[16:12 – 33:16]

• The group gives a darkly comedic, detailed summary of the Gypsy Rose Blanchard case:
  • Zac: “Her mom had Munchausen by proxy, which people don’t know—Eminem’s mom disease.” (16:13)
  • Gypsy’s elaborate fraud and eventual matricide; her manipulative online relationship with Nicholas Godejohn; both participants’ neurodivergence and possibly “pelvic tilt for days.”
  • They watch and dissect disturbing, newly-surfaced videos showing Gypsy’s “evil little monkey” side and her performative, childlike voice (29:07).
  • Robbie summarizes: "That’s one molested girl." (28:56), before all agree that the story reflects evil and manipulation passed down.
  • Robbie: “Getting a retarded guy being like, this weirdo kidnapped me—that’s defamation at the very least.” (31:40)

5. Degenerate News & Internet Oddities

[34:36 – 54:07]

• The Delco Pooper:
  • A woman infamously relieving herself during a road rage incident faces trial; her sentence involves rehab, anger management, probation—plus a social media gag order.
  • Robbie muses: “I love the name Delco Pooper, sounds like a serial…”
• Chris Chan / Sonichu Saga:
  • A quick primer for listeners on the infamous internet figure Chris Chan, his history as a target of trolling, and being caught on police bodycam explaining Sonichu lore after a sensational crime.
  • Zac describes GameStop and comic book store culture, calling it “the Stanford Prison Experiment for autistic people.” (43:52)

6. Pawn Shops, Comics, and Thrift – Nerd Life and Haggling

[45:00 – 51:24]

• Zac and Robbie discuss the economics and social weirdness of pawn shops and comic book stores.
• Zac shares a “market in Bangladesh” approach for haggling and trading collectibles, noting that “I walk into those stores like I’m at a fucking market in Bangladesh.” (48:03)
• Sociocultural observations: “I don’t think they want to sell shit. They just have a big collection. Come look at my room…” (46:41)

7. Airport Customs – Weird Food, Race, and Prohibited Goods

[53:12 – 59:38]

• News segment: Chicago customs seize 4 lbs of monkey meat, 11 lbs of beans with pests, and 17 lbs of unknown plants from Africa.
• Zac, in his trademark unfiltered style:
  • “Is there anything Black people won’t bring on a plane?”
  • Rants about seeing people board with “full catering trays,” marveling at how “airport food’s so expensive—pack a sandwich, not a seafood boil!”
• They discuss the complications of traveling with contraband, especially weed, and swap TSA horror stories. Robbie explains, “It’s actually a safer bet to carry weed in your carry-on."

8. Family, Aging, and Mortality – Gross Holiday Story Time

[60:33 – 64:34]

• Zac relates a family dinner upended by his elderly father-in-law’s digestive mishap: "They had to throw him in the bathroom...From the sound and smell, I think there was a license plate in there." (62:32)
• Anecdotes about declining grandparents, family secrets, and the cyclical nature of care in old age.

9. Objectum Sexuality – The Girl Who Loves a Zombie Doll

[64:45 – End]

• The crew watches a documentary segment about a woman in a romantic, “poly” relationship with several dolls, especially her “zombie wife” Kelly.
• Zac roasts: “There’s a reason the dolls she fucks need to be dead—this bitch sucks.”
• The woman insists, “I’m not a pedophile," prompting Kelly to crack, "Is this what they mean when they say, 'give the pedophiles dolls'?"
• Robbie notes, “She talks just like Chris Chan describing the Sonichu universe.”
• The group fluctuates between mockery, empathy, and incredulity as they learn the woman’s tragic family history, her father’s passing, and how her connection to dolls deepened.
• Robbie captures their emotional whiplash: “I’ve never felt this mix of empathy and also like ‘what the fuck is your problem?’” (75:44)
• Zac wraps: “The new Toy Story is dark.” (75:41)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [03:20] Robbie: “Jim Carrey is just so good in [The Grinch]. I legitimately think he should win an Oscar for all the makeup and paint. And then he just commits so hard to being like gay Nixon a little bit."
• [14:01] Zac: “The new BBL is the ADHD walk.”
• [16:13] Zac: “Her mom had Munchausen by proxy—which people don’t know—Eminem’s mom disease.”
• [28:56] Robbie: “That is one molested girl.”
• [31:40] Robbie: “Getting a retarded guy being like, this weirdo kidnapped me—that’s defamation at the very least.”
• [43:52] Zac: “GameStop’s like the Stanford Prison Experiment for autistic people.”
• [48:03] Zac: “I walk into those stores like I’m at a fucking market in Bangladesh.”
• [62:32] Zac: “They had to throw him in the bathroom...From the sound and smell, I think there was a license plate in there.”
• [71:27] Zac: “Did she just look into my soul when she said that?”
• [75:41] Zac: “The new Toy Story is dark.”
• [75:44] Robbie: “I’ve never felt this mix of empathy and also like, what the fuck is your problem?”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Holiday Movie talk: 02:21 – 06:10
• Plugs/Upcoming projects: 06:19 – 08:52
• Autism & body type segment: 09:45 – 16:12
• Gypsy Rose true crime breakdown: 16:12 – 33:16
• Delco Pooper & Chris Chan: 34:36 – 44:45
• Nerd store haggling/Pawn shops: 45:00 – 51:24
• Customs catch monkey meat: 53:12 – 59:38
• Family/aging mishaps: 60:33 – 64:34
• Girl dates a zombie doll: 64:45 – End

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Tone & Style

True to the podcast’s “unhinged” ethos, the episode is non-stop riffing, raucous humor, and zero filter. The tone is openly irreverent and proudly off-color but underpinned by sharp observations and genuine camaraderie. Zac, Robbie, and Kelly balance sharp wit, pop culture references, personal anecdotes, and the ability to make even dark, uncomfortable subjects entertaining—all while never taking themselves too seriously.

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For New Listeners

If you’re new to Morning Zoo: Expect edgy comedy, unfiltered banter, and a willingness to find hilarity in life’s darkest, weirdest corners. This episode offers a quintessential blast of the show’s energy—whether dissecting true crime, ridiculing weird internet tales, or sharing the indignities of everyday life.

Transcript

[A]

Fill her up.

[B]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network.

[A]

Wake up, it's time to go.

[B]

Zach Amico's got a show.

[A]

Animals are here to play jokes against you Start your day Tell the sandman.

[B]

No more sleep Eat some eggs and cook some beef Laughter's waiting, don't be.

[A]

Shy Stretch your legs and touch the.

[B]

Sky Grab a coffee and join the C.R.E.

[A]

It'S a morning. Good morning, it's a Monday and happy holidays from all of us here at the Gas Digital Network. It's your other boy, the international superstar Zack Amico. We are all back in from our Christmas shenanigans. And before I leave for New Year's, we're gonna do a few episodes of the Zoo. What do you guys say? Across the table from me, two very funny, talented and wonderful people from the I Feel Fat Today podcast, it's our good friend, Kelly Taylor.

[C]

Hello.

[A]

How are you, my love?

[D]

Great. Happy holidays. Happy to be here.

[A]

Happy holidays. Thank you for being here. And from robbiewood on YouTube, stalwart of the show, one of my favorite people to broadcast with, it's Robbie Goodwin.

[B]

Hey, Zach, what's going on?

[A]

How you doing, brother?

[B]

Good, good. It's so nice to be here on this. Yeah. Christmas season, it feels very festive in here.

[A]

It's very fun. I gotta ask. The Soprano shirt.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Is that the. That's not the Kith collaboration.

[B]

I just got that though.

[A]

Dude. I was looking at the prices on those. I was. I know, I was woof.

[D]

Yeah, they're expensive.

[B]

70T shirt. But I had to get. I had to get.

[A]

They had the hoodie. That was really nice.

[B]

I know. All them on it, like $400. I know.

[A]

I really liked it though. I. I couldn't do it.

[B]

I tweeted out, like, can someone give me thousands of dollars just to buy.

[A]

All this stuff in like a month?

[D]

Look on Depop. Yeah, Depop.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

That's how I got New New York or no New York or nowhere. Mets gear for my family this year for Christmas.

[B]

That's great. Yeah. I love the Kith stuff. I think they do the coolest designs and I love Soprano. So I was like, I need all of this, but I just don't have enough money.

[A]

What was everybody's Christmas viewing? Movies, TV shows.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

In my house we watched it chapter one and two because we just got off the high of welcome to Derry.

[A]

Excellent.

[D]

And so ye. That was really great. Didn't have time for the Tim Curry.

[A]

One, but very, very good.

[B]

Yeah. I also watched something about an Evil clown that's terrorizing America called in my opinion they should call that show welcome to Scary. Also Pennywise the Dancing Clown I have some beef with. First of all, he never says anything funny for a clown. And second of all, very little dancing from Pennywise the Dancing Clown. He does dance in the night. I'm glad they got my note because that was my biggest note with the film. I need to watch the show.

[D]

He is more of a troll than a comedy.

[B]

Yeah, I watched the first couple episodes. It was good. But I always maintain the best Christmas movie is Ron Howard's the Grinch and I.

[A]

Hard to argue. Very good.

[B]

It's kind of getting a reconsideration lately.

[A]

Weirdly, I feel that way as well.

[B]

I've been on the Grinch train for a long time. It's because Jim Carrey is just so good in it. I legitimately think he should win an Oscar for just all the makeup and paint. And then he just commits so hard to being like gay Nixon a little bit, you know, it's just so good. I also watch one battle after another. Finally. Fucking great. Like probably my favorite of the year, I would say so far.

[A]

Excellent.

[B]

Sean Penn is hilarious in it. He does a Vince McMahon walk the whole time.

[A]

Very, very good.

[B]

Really made me laugh.

[A]

Very good. We did home alone 1 and 2.

[B]

2 is better in my opinion. What do you think?

[A]

You're welcome to that opinion.

[B]

The President is in it.

[A]

Yes, he is. We did Home Alone 1 and 2. Then we did Christmas Vacation, Elf, Muppet Christmas Carol, Bang and new one Violent Night.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[A]

From Stranger Things which was fucking awesome. Was it? Holy shit. Great top to bottom action movie.

[B]

Oh yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And I did not know the bad guy in it is fucking legal. Yeah. You know, absolute banger.

[B]

You should check out. Have you seen Better Watch out.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

That's. That's another fun Christmas horror in my opinion.

[A]

We just did Krampus on Spook show and that was really good.

[B]

I know Krampus as well. That's. That's a fun one. I like the. I like the dark Christmas movies. Those are always like a good like you know, now that we're all adults. Yeah. You know, because most Christmas movies are like kids movies, right.

[A]

Yeah. But there's a good mix, I would say.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Rom com Christmas movies that are kind of young adult.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then that's adult Christmas movie Wonderful Life. I guess.

[A]

Probably love actually for the holiday.

[B]

Yeah, I love. I say Eyes Wide Shut.

[A]

What's the fucking. Matthew Broderick, Danny DeVito.

[B]

Oh, deck the Halls. No, wait. What's that fucking movie called?

[A]

Shannon, if you could look it up. It's so bad.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then when you read about the production, apparently it was the worst. Like, really? Everyone hated each other.

[D]

No way.

[A]

And everyone's miserable.

[E]

It was Deck the Halls.

[A]

Deck the Halls. It comes out on screen so hard, how unhappy everyone is to be in this movie.

[B]

That reminds me, there's an Affleck Gandolfini Christmas movie, which sounds like the greatest thing that.

[D]

Yeah, right, right.

[B]

But it's just a fucking bummer to watch it.

[A]

Was that his last move? Did that come out posthumously?

[B]

I think it came out either close to death or after death. Yeah. His last movie was called, like, the Drop with Tom Hardy, and he's so fucking fat in it, it's crazy. It's a. It's a good watch. It's actually a pretty fun movie. But he's, like, literally cannot get up. It is a. That's a. That's.

[A]

Some of us request to be seated in our roles.

[B]

Look, it's a character choice. I understand.

[A]

So do. The last time I did a short, the guy literally went, don't worry, you don't get up in this movie. Yes.

[B]

You're on the Seagal car.

[D]

They just know. You're right.

[A]

I was an assassin.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I was an assassin playing Duck Hunt in an arcade. And all I had to do is get up and leave. That was my. That was. That was the most motion he gave me.

[B]

Incredible.

[A]

All right, let's get plugs out of the way. Robbie. What do you want people to check out, my friend?

[B]

Oh, so this is actually breaking news. I'm bringing this. Me and Dalton are rebranding our podcast to the arena of Ideas. So every Thursday at 8, step into the arena. Me and Dalton are mental gladiators. We go teta tet every week with. With guests. Our. Our swords are facts, Our shields are logic.

[A]

Prove our wrong is also how Dalton pronounces Tecate.

[B]

I'll get a Ted Altat and a Mogadello.

[A]

Sorry to interrupt your plug.

[B]

Yeah, we have some really good guests coming up. Micro scenes coming on soon, and I'm going to tease it here. Mike Figgs reunion might also be on the horizon, so very, very well. Check out the arena of Ideas in the new year. It's a lot of good fun. There's a. We have a libtard live chat in there. It's a good time.

[A]

Congratulations, buddy.

[D]

Kelly, amazing as always. Check out my podcast. I feel fat today. New episodes every Friday. Been a little Bit of a break. But don't worry, we're coming back strong in the new year. And then follow me on Instagram at. Hello, this is Kelly.

[B]

Good follow. Kelly's a good follow.

[D]

Appreciate it. And Robbie had a great episode on my podcast.

[B]

Check that out.

[D]

That was awesome.

[B]

Talk about Panda Express.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

Do you have any thoughts on pandaspress?

[A]

Hey, guys, if you want to follow me on Instagram, Zach is not funny. All my dates punch up live zachamico. Here's my dates coming up. I'm gonna be in Columbus, Ohio on New Year's Eve with Luis J. Gomez. Then we're back that Friday. Then we're in Miamisburg, Ohio that Saturday. The following week, I'm in Toronto at Catacombs Cabaret doing stand up and a live spook show. And then the end of next month, I am going on tour for nine days, it looks like, with Juggalo Championship wrestling. You can go to Psychopathic Records for all those dates. Should be really fun. It's gonna be concerts and wrestling and a bunch of silly shit. So come hang out. And I apologize for missing the Christmas big Ballers party. I was under the weather. We got a lot. Oh, and if you love the show, go to gasdigital.com today, use my promo code, zoo. And you get yourself a little bit of money off your subscription. You get episodes early ad free and uncensored. You get the live chat, you get the archives, thousands of your favorite episodes of all your gas digital programs. And you get that Friday episode. That's right. We do three of these suckers a week and the only way to get all three is to subscribe. So thank you so much, guys for supporting the show. And now we'll start here.

[B]

Canada. That's fun. Never been there.

[A]

A couple of times I've, you know, I'm snake bit. I've had both times, I suppose. I've been in Toronto, have been canceled.

[B]

Really?

[A]

One time was not my fault. One time was my fault.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Because I had to cancel it for a film thing.

[B]

Okay. Yeah.

[A]

But I'm excited to finally get there.

[B]

Yeah, that's. I really want. I like, really want to go. I haven't left the country as an adult, so I want to start with Canada.

[D]

This does not feel canon to your lord.

[B]

I know I seem like I'm a world traveler or something.

[A]

You do. You do seem like you just jet around the world.

[D]

Yeah. Like a baby with a passport.

[B]

I'm sorry. I was like, oh, yeah, yeah. Baby with a passport. Now that's a movie. Idea. Oh, when you said Luis J. Gomez, who I was thinking about in one battle after another, they keep calling Sean Penn's character Steven J. Lockjaw. And I kept being like, don't forget the J. Bo Bitch.

[A]

So I read this article, and you ever. Do you ever read something and you just like the end of Usual Suspects, just start piecing together other information and people throughout your life how a big looking butt could be a sneaky sign of autism. I saw this and adhd.

[B]

It explains my massive ass.

[D]

No, literally, like, wow, the amount of people.

[A]

Cause I know Jordan has a joke. The why are autistic people caked up? And it's a great joke. And I always. I was like, you know. Cause then I think about people in my life. Cause my ex used to call it the nerd walk.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

Which was everyone I was friends with walked heel toe with their head forward.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

Like a very, like, schlumpy dumpy walk, right?

[D]

Yeah. Like the bully from recess.

[A]

Yes. What was the name of the. Is that the little kid with the curly hair? Right?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

What was his name?

[B]

Seth Simons.

[A]

No, dude, it's Shannon. Could you look up the bully for. Before we get into this? The bully from Reus. Name. He's a little like. He looks like Mo the bartender.

[D]

Yeah, he looks like his name.

[B]

He was. He kind of. He was the first nerd bully in cartoons, which I really appreciated. He kind of predicted this, like, tech thing, bloggers, all that stuff.

[A]

His name is an anagram. And it made me laugh so fucking hard when I saw somebody do it.

[E]

Maybe this isn't it, then. Randall Weems.

[A]

It is Randall.

[D]

It is Randall.

[A]

Randall. Can you write Randall Weems?

[B]

Hey, it's me, Mo Junior.

[A]

Can you write Randall Weems? Anagram?

[B]

Do we have a Randall Weens? Randall Weems.

[A]

All right, Q.

[B]

If I see you gonna get over there.

[A]

A small. So his name is Ram. Randall J. Weems. And it is an anagram of a small Jew nerd.

[B]

That can't be intentional. That's so funny, though. If it is, he's like, I'm gonna tell on you. That was like his whole. Which is the most effective form of bullying, actually.

[A]

And it is his name. Right? Like, I didn't fuck. That's not. Is. That's all right. I mean, if you Google it, his.

[D]

Name is definitely Randall. Yeah, for sure.

[B]

Not to keep autistically bringing it back, but I asked. I was on Reddit.

[A]

Calm your big butt down.

[B]

Yeah. I was asking, like, did Tarantino, like one battle after another and someone was Like, I actually said he was showing it at his theater for, like a month. And he was like, he was there once and I was there, and he was there scribbling notes the whole time. And I just pictured fucking Randall J. We was like, okay, what do I do next? He did that.

[A]

He did that. Oh, I'm so mad. So this article I read is essentially that a lot of people with autism and ADHD have underdeveloped muscles in their legs and it affects their pelvic tilt.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

Which is why a lot of ADHD and autistic people have what looks like a protruding butt and a tummy, much like a pregnant swan. Shannon, can you fill us in a little more?

[E]

So here's the diagram. It shows just to see the difference. And so they literally.

[A]

If you looked at this chart and it said autistic, not autistic, you would go, oh, yeah, definitely.

[D]

You think of, like, five people.

[A]

You know, I'm thinking of everyone I've ever met.

[B]

This is literally like my physiognomy.

[D]

My physiognomy kind of standing like the Grinch.

[B]

Yeah, It's Grinch body.

[A]

Yeah. I always said it's the yellow bastard from Sin City.

[B]

Oh, that's a good poll, too, Shannon. I haven't thought about that. Yeah.

[E]

So they connect it to, like you said, kind of like a lesser muscle tone, but also it has to do with a range of postural differences, including a forward jutting head, rounded shoulders, and a tilted pelvis.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's literally just teaching people how to walk like an autistic person.

[B]

Right.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like. It's just showing an impression.

[B]

Yeah. Watch girls, like, walk autistically now to get a big ass.

[A]

It's the new squat.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

The new BBL is the adhd. Yeah.

[B]

The Dungeons and Dragons walk.

[A]

Shannon. Anymore.

[E]

Just also that autistic kids tend to do, like, the toe walking, and so that also can contribute to it.

[B]

Interesting. What's the toe walking?

[A]

They walk on their tippy toes.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, really? Okay.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

I'm thinking of so many. Like, when autistic people, like, they have a diaper but don't. I don't know, a nice way to say it right. No, for sure, it's got a dump. I think it's also because they say it's, like, a lack of muscle tone. I think it's that a lot of people in that realm don't grow up with a sport.

[D]

Yeah. And also, like, when there's a lot of mimicking happening when you're autistic. So it's like maybe they're trying to mimic the way they think people walk.

[A]

Or maybe other parents walk, to be honest.

[D]

Right, Right. Yeah.

[B]

That's so interesting.

[D]

Whenever I want good posture, I always think, walk like a baby, because babies have perfect posture.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

So when you think about that, like, all of a sudden, you stand up straighter.

[B]

I get the ADHD part because it takes a lot of effort to, like, work to have good posture.

[D]

Yeah, it's hard.

[B]

It's hard. I don't want to do that.

[A]

Yeah, I'm a slumpy man.

[B]

I'm slump. I need stimulants to walk straight.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Literally, there's nothing straight about me. I just thought it was super interesting now. Hey, guys. Today's episode is brought to you by our friends at you create them home of the $60 kilo. If you do create them. If you don't, don't start on my account. But if you use Kratom for one of its many benefits, there's only one place on earth to make that Purchase, and it's yocratum.com they have the best strains, the best customer service, and they're the marquee sponsor of everything we do here at the network. So stop going to bodegas, smoke shops, or gas stations. Getting a little bit of kratom at a time, and you barely know what's in there. When you go to yocratum.com for. What's that? A dollar sixty kilo. That's practically unheard of. There's no promo code needed. Why? It's already the best deal in the world to create them. So check them out. Let them know we love them. That's yo kratom.com home of the $60 kilo. Let's get back into the program. Slight deviation, but on topic. Have you seen some of these gypsy rose videos?

[E]

Yes.

[A]

So Gypsy Rose. There was a whole miniseries and then a TV movie. Very famous. Her and her boyfriend, Nicholas Godejohn killed her mom. Her mom had Munchausen, which Munchausen by proxy, which people don't know. Eminem's mom disease, where she was apparently convincing Gypsy and lying to people that Gypsy was much younger than she was. She was shaving her head so that she looked sicker. She had all her teeth taken out, put on a feeding tube, and was injecting her with medicine to keep her sick.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Telling people she couldn't walk and that she was.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And they would get every. Make a wish. Their house got destroyed in Hurricane Katrina. Yeah, they got a new house and there's tons of people. It's really funny. People, like, go through vacation pictures and realize they were, like, sitting with them at SeaWorld.

[D]

They would be at SeaWorld.

[A]

So the mom is brutally murdered.

[B]

Oh, really?

[D]

Stabbed to death in bed.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Brutally murdered.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And how she's missed that. Stabbed lots.

[D]

Yeah, stabbed lots. Because Gypsy met a boy online. She was, like, sneaking a phone and got Nicholas to come and kill the mom. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Well, so now here's where it gets. So she's gone, the mom? No. So what happens is they find the mom's body, the daughter's gone. Somebody had written on their Facebook, like, gypsy's Facebook, the bitch is dead. And they thought somebody killed the mom and kidnapped this little paralyzed, retarded girl.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Wow. Well, come to find out, she's in a hotel with her boyfriend, she's not retarded, and she can walk.

[B]

It's like a Lifetime movie.

[A]

Oh, it is.

[D]

Oh, don't worry. Oh, don't worry.

[A]

It was the only thing that's like. It's probably the most beautifying of a horrible person. They had Patricia Arquette play the mom.

[D]

It was so. I know in. Yeah.

[A]

Ugly, fat makeup, but not even.

[D]

But it's still.

[A]

The mom looked like Susan Boyle.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

That's hilarious.

[D]

Yeah, the mom was really bad.

[A]

Yeah, she was real tough.

[B]

I just watched the Housemaid and I'm getting flashbacks of that movie in the plot twist and turns.

[A]

So they go to trial. They tried to mail the knife somewhere to get rid of it. They were bumbling. Bad crim. But they were also kids.

[D]

Yeah. And Nicholas wasn't all there. Like, he was a little.

[A]

So Nicholas had a pelvic tilt. We're talking pelvic tilt for days.

[B]

At this point. Was he, like, autistic or.

[A]

Oh, boy.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So this is Gypsy Intermod.

[B]

It looks like Big Justice.

[D]

Oh, my God. Gypsy and I have the same glasses.

[E]

And then this is the.

[B]

Hey, remember Big justice and the Rizzler? That's them.

[A]

See?

[D]

Look at that. Like, are you kidding me?

[B]

Oh, my God. That's hilarious. That's so fun.

[D]

Pretty good.

[A]

Yeah, they did. So I gotta watch this. First things first.

[B]

Is it good?

[D]

It's a serious.

[B]

I'll check it out.

[A]

Yeah, there's a. Well, there's Mommy dead and dearest.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Is the doc about it?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So it's crazy. You kind of find Nicholas. Go to. John is, like, not fit for human level stuff.

[D]

He can be manipulated.

[A]

So I went on a tour. I have A friend. Yeah. He's lost weight. No, he got big again in prison.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I got taken on a tour of true crime stuff by a comic shout out Matt Weidenhoff, and he took me. So, Nick, you come to find out Nick Godjohn was once arrested for masturbating in a McDonald's parking lot for eight hours.

[B]

Eight hours.

[A]

Eight hours of gooning Hyperdeck using their Wi Fi.

[D]

Did he at least buy a coffee?

[A]

No, he's in the parking lot. But we went and parked in the spot and I took pictures. Amazing spot reserved for do not jack off here.

[B]

I wonder where they put that sign up.

[A]

And the more you see what a momo this guy is. So he gets charged and he's in. He's gone. Gone.

[D]

Yeah. He's in jail.

[B]

He's Brendan Dassey.

[A]

He ain't coming out.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

No, the. He makes. I would say.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

He makes Brandon Dassey look.

[D]

Yeah. Like a scholar, capable.

[B]

So he's like, really good. Yeah, he ain't good. Okay. Okay.

[A]

Gypsy immediately says, you know, I was tortured. He killed her. I hid under the bed. I didn't know he was gonna kill him.

[B]

So she sold him out.

[A]

Dude. Threw this motherfucker up the river.

[D]

Yeah. These hoes ain't loyal then.

[A]

I mean, she's out immediately. Reality show marries a dude, divorces him. New dude pregnant. Reality shows up the wazoo.

[B]

Right. I'd heard her name. I didn't know that this was a.

[D]

She was in jail a little bit and then got.

[A]

She did sometime, but not nothing like a murder.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And now I personally think. And I could be wrong, they both killed her, right? They both. Yeah.

[D]

I mean, she was a big lady. Someone had to hold her down.

[A]

This whole story of. I hid under the bed.

[B]

Oh, this is. Yeah. It's obviously fake.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Why would he kill the mom unless, like, she asked him to, too? She was obviously like.

[D]

I mean, you'll do a lot to get your dick sucked. You know?

[B]

That's what I'm saying. I'm saying she was probably like, hey, can you kill my mom? He's like, okay, yeah.

[A]

Oh, no. That's a hundred percent what I think.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Yeah. And with how evil the mom was and all she put this girl through.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I don't think it ends that evil don't end there.

[D]

Right. Yeah.

[A]

Because the mom's a piece of. They interview the mom's family. They sent the family the mom's ashes. And the mom's dad was. It goes.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I flushed him down the toilet.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

No One liked her and she was. She did torture Gypsy. Like that definitely took away Gypsy's life essentially. Yeah.

[A]

So now this girl who claims to have been manipulated and all this dark shit and has come to the point where now the videos between her and Nick go to John, huh. Have come out from when they were in a long distance thing and. Oh boy, oh boy.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Is she an evil little monkey really?

[B]

What she do?

[A]

Shannon, bring it up.

[D]

There's so many.

[B]

This is crazy.

[A]

So this is when she's claiming to be paralyzed and cancer and. And she's making these videos with. Dude, he was tearing his off.

[B]

Yeah, I kind of get his point of view. Wow. Okay, so are they trying to get go to John out of jail or something?

[A]

Well, so Shannon, do you have the one where she says she was cute? What about their daughter? What he can do to their daughter?

[E]

No, I'll look it up. I have one more dancing one real quick.

[B]

Okay, I want to see another one. Of course.

[D]

Oh, they get pretty sadistic really.

[B]

Oh my God.

[D]

Oh wow. That's risque.

[B]

This is such a funny way to seduce someone.

[A]

So by the way, now this is also fucking up the narrative of her mom controlling everything.

[D]

Cuz where's the mom?

[A]

Why is she getting this? Yeah, where is she getting this lingerie? Unless he's sending it to her.

[D]

But then, yeah, ordering online.

[A]

But then the mom. This whole narrative of the mom controlling everything and keeping her from society.

[D]

Right.

[A]

Starts I think, to fall apart.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And again, I could be wrong and just hate women I don't like.

[D]

I still question how much free will she actually had in these circumstances. Because like, I mean, I know, is.

[A]

This an sos, Right?

[E]

Right.

[D]

And like, I know that she's supposed to be like 23 in those videos, but apparently everyone else thinks, or she thinks she's what, 16, 17, like way younger.

[A]

So the mom was telling her she was a. A teenager and she's in her 20s.

[D]

Yes. Yeah.

[A]

And the mom keeps pushing back her age.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

To continue to get.

[B]

Jesus Christ.

[D]

Yes, yes. Because Jesus Christ. Just more benefits and stuff. Having an under 18 year old.

[B]

Right. Taxes, all that stuff.

[A]

Yeah. So every time they move, she basically knocks her age back down.

[B]

That's so crazy.

[A]

And she's also straight up doctor shopping.

[D]

Yeah, that helps with the doctor shopping too, because there's no record, there's no.

[A]

She keeps changing. She said everything got destroyed in Katrina.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

So she used that as an opportunity to make her younger. And the doctors even were like, you know, she doesn't have like there Were they talk about in the miniseries or the movie? The doctors are even like there's something dramatically wrong. Like yeah. Doctors went and were like she doesn't have any of this. And so she was making up all this shit as she went along.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

But now we have this video of her of Gypsy talking to Nick Godajohn, going over the rules of their eventual marriage. Your rules.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Well, it's very. So there's a lot of like weird vampire play.

[D]

It's very like.

[A]

Yeah, it's a lot of Dom stuff. Vampire play. He. He keeps saying he has like a dark personality.

[D]

Yeah. Dark passenger.

[A]

Very, very every retard.

[B]

Yeah. Like guys who said wahaha.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He just needs a fedora.

[A]

Yeah, very milady. Yeah, yeah, very. I would compare him to the JP from Grandma's Boy.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That level of awkward.

[B]

The kids who talked like Sephiroth.

[A]

Yes. So Shannon, do you have a video of Gypsy talking about what they would do to her 13 year old daughter?

[E]

So I have a video of her speaking to him directly, but I couldn't find those quotes. But I have the quotes separately.

[A]

Yeah, bring up the quotes and then we'll watch on the video what great.

[B]

Character characters in the saga.

[E]

So she said that their potential future daughters would have to give up their virginity to their father. Quote, if we have a girl. The way it has to be is if we have a girl, she has to lose her virginity to you because you are the master of the household. I'm going to explain that to her whenever she comes of age where it's time to explain it. Like when she's seven, I won't explain that, but around 13 I'll explain.

[A]

And let's watch the videos. They're talking. And now again, this is when she is damn under. No. When she has no control over her life and the mom is supposedly monitoring her permanently.

[B]

Right.

[E]

Okay, it might be.

[A]

This might be it here severity of keeping a secret. And if we have a girl, this is it.

[D]

The way it has to be is.

[A]

If we have a girl, she has to lose her virginity to you because you are the master of the household.

[D]

So I'm gonna have to explain that to her whenever she comes of age.

[A]

Where it's time to explain it. Other than that, like when she's seven.

[D]

I won't explain that. But yeah, you wouldn't want to be inappropriate. And also, if you ever need someone to I guess, feed off of, but not kill, obviously you know that I'll.

[A]

Always give you my blood. You know that.

[D]

If you're ever weak, or if you're.

[A]

Ever so weak that you know you can't move, or you're just really, really sick.

[B]

Jesus.

[A]

Don't worry.

[D]

I'll give you my neck anytime you need.

[A]

It is always worse, just as I am always worse. All right, well, highly recommend, Mommy.

[B]

That is one molested girl.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Here's the other thing. If she knows now how old she is, she's doing a voice, right?

[B]

It does seem like a voice, right?

[A]

She's doing a baby voice.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And if at this point she does. She's aware that she is being misportrayed as a child, she's definitely using that to her evil advantage.

[D]

Yeah. And how old was go to John?

[A]

I think he was younger than her.

[D]

Yeah. Because I'm gonna say, like, she. She could catch a case for that. Right? I mean, I want to say, like, that's some.

[B]

That's so fucked up.

[A]

The whole thing is fucking.

[D]

Yeah. Also, what was the wig budget? She had so many wigs. How'd she hide?

[B]

She's a real wigger.

[E]

He's two years older than her.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Excuse me.

[B]

Thank God.

[A]

So she did cosplay at conventions.

[D]

Oh, that's right. That's right.

[A]

So I think the wigs are from All. Because she would go to Disney dressed as all the princesses. She would go to Cons as, like.

[D]

Anime shit, which is, like, so expensive, by the way. And like, this was supposed to be a poor, you know, family, single mom situation, and they just defrauded people.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So I think a lot of the way. And that actually could explain some of the out the bustier and stuff.

[D]

Right.

[A]

Maybe that might have been played under the guise of cosplay.

[B]

Oh, yeah, right. Okay. Okay.

[D]

Yeah, right.

[B]

It's all coming together.

[A]

But holy shit.

[B]

That's the crazy story.

[D]

I think she was, like, severely 100%.

[A]

I would never argue.

[D]

I thought she shouldn't have been in jail when that first happened. And then seeing all this kind of stuff, it's like. I think you're also right where it's like that evil got passed down like she is a manipulator.

[A]

Weird for me to think she did it, but I still don't want her in jail.

[D]

I honestly, I think. I think a little eye for an eye. Right now.

[A]

I feel bad for the dude.

[D]

I feel bad for him because he's.

[A]

He's a dork and he's a douchebag who wanted to do, like, this weird power play with a woman.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Which is very predatory and very weird. And this whole like s and M, 50 shades of gray, I'm the master, you are my property thing is creepy, but I think she fucking blew that fucking right up his ass.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And took advantage of this fucking momo to do her violent bidding.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I think she should get punishment for that. Not so much the murdering the mom part, I think. You know what I mean? Like, it's like if you sold out.

[A]

I feel like I would call murdering the mom a wash.

[D]

Right?

[B]

That's a wash.

[D]

They cancel each other out.

[B]

Yeah, but getting a retarded guy being like, this guy, this fucking weirdo kidnapped me.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's defamation. At the very least.

[A]

If.

[B]

If she's lying.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I just heard about the story today, so I don't know.

[A]

It's. Why it's. It's a lie. We can look into it. We'll talk again one day. We're going to move on real quick.

[B]

Did you see the Ari Aster? The guy directed Hereditary Sommer. He did a Pixar style short film called Munchausen.

[D]

Oh, I have to see that.

[B]

You got to watch it.

[A]

I have seen that. That was his movie he did before Johnson's. Strange thing about the Johnson, which I make so many people watch.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they all get so mad at me.

[B]

All of his short films are really. Are really fun.

[A]

He made those in college.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Wow.

[B]

They're all like. They're all very dark comedy shorts, basically.

[A]

Yeah. That. Because Big J always tells me to text him if I see something really. That like really breaks me.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And I said to him, strange thing about the droughts. And I was like going blind.

[B]

That's so funny.

[A]

And I got a text a half an hour later just what the fuck?

[B]

So good. It's so good. Good. I think Johnson's is very well made, actually.

[A]

It's really good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Everyone in it is really.

[B]

And it's good.

[A]

Nobody's student acting.

[B]

Yeah. It makes sense. He became a great filmmaker kind of ahead of schedule.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He's obviously very talented. Even in college.

[A]

Man, he's got some darkness though.

[B]

Oh, yeah, obviously.

[A]

What did his mother do?

[B]

If you saw Beau's afraid. Some real bad stuff.

[D]

Gypsy could have been a great artist. Horror director.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You know that's right, Zach. He does seem to probably hate his mom now. The Munchausen one. And then Beau is afraid is just about an evil. Like an evil, evil mother and hereditary and hereditary killing.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

But that's kind of like not the mom's fault. That's a Grandma's fault.

[A]

Still.

[B]

Yeah, the mom is fucked. I agree, though. Yeah.

[A]

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[B]

Oh, is this a new Kill Tony guy? Yeah. All right. So, Tony, I'm gonna peep on stage.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Unbelievable. How would you like a golden notebook?

[A]

I don't remember. It was a lady who. It was the lady who shit on the car, Right, Shannon?

[E]

Yeah. Here's a. Here's a reminder.

[B]

The Delco Poo.

[A]

The Delco Pooper. So this lady got in a road rage incident and on the guy's car.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

She must have had to have gone.

[A]

It is like. That is a perfect moment. If you got one.

[B]

Now, did the eagles just lose? Cuz if so. I understand what she's going through.

[A]

If you are. If you've got one in the chamber. That bad.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I kind of get it.

[B]

Right?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Only the other person is egregiously awful. Right? Yeah.

[B]

You're killing two birds with one stone. Yeah, for sure.

[A]

Now that's a rough ride home.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

No wipes.

[D]

But are you really bothered by that if you're willing to shit on a car in public?

[A]

Probably not. Yeah, I see lots of videos of people. It's in my algorithm. People just like popping a squat.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

But there were in stores and stuff.

[D]

There were plenty of Wendy's napkins in the glove compartment.

[A]

Sure.

[D]

You know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Wawa bag expired rap or like rappers for of the hamburger.

[A]

Oh no. You know what it was? It was the paper. Wawa subs coming.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Thank God. I stopped at Wawa.

[A]

I remember my friend used to work at stop and Shop and they had an issue. There was an old man that keep kept coming in and just leaving logs on the floor.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

So we started calling it stopping shit because it was the same guy. And they were trying to catch him on the cameras. But he would elude them. But they would have the footage.

[B]

This is like the last story.

[A]

Because they would tape it on their phone of this kid and he would just walk in. Nobody be in the aisle. He would look 1, 2. And just a perfect log every time.

[B]

Wow. I wish.

[A]

So he had a great day. I'm so mad how much better this healthier this guy's got than me.

[B]

My stomach hurts right now.

[D]

Literally.

[B]

I have to poop.

[D]

Anytime I've ever seen a poop in the wild. It's always been like that. Like alcohol liquid shit.

[A]

You know, alcohol shit that could be. I've seen a few that have been pretty solid. There was a lady that was squatting haha. In my old building and I'm convinced she used to sit in the lobby and ask for money and people kick her out. And she would find her way back in. I think she basically went home with some guy who was moving out.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And just stayed.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And was squatting. But she would like throw furniture out the window. She would like try and follow people into their houses.

[D]

Oh nightmare.

[A]

And she, she would always have a tall boy in her hand.

[B]

Incredible.

[A]

And then my wife would always go. She drinks the same beer you do. My wife makes fun of me for drinking quote unquote homeless beer.

[B]

Pbr.

[A]

What?

[B]

Wait, what kind of tall boy?

[A]

Oh, she would always have like what.

[D]

I drink like a Coors Banquet Natty.

[A]

Light Crazy Stallion at the time. Which were 99 cents.

[B]

Okay. Gas station beers.

[A]

And she shit in our elevator.

[D]

Aw, what a bitch.

[A]

And it was no semblance of a solid.

[E]

Ew.

[A]

It was a dude like fucking Stone Cold had two Yoo Hoos.

[D]

Maybe she had her period. It was a period.

[A]

Walking bananas. How bad it was.

[D]

Oh.

[A]

Anyway, the Delco pooper has face trial. Cuz you know you can't just on people's car.

[D]

That is assault.

[A]

I'm pretty sure I would Say it's probably a safety hat. It's probably. It's probably a bunch. And public indecency.

[B]

Yeah, more like. More like Nick didn't go to the john.

[A]

So Shannon, tell us what. What. What her deal is.

[E]

So she agreed that instead of going to trial that she was going to enter a rehab program. So part of that is she has to complete 24 months of probation, anger management classes, and community service. She also is not allowed to post about her case on social media. And if she meets those conditions, they're gonna dismiss her case and it'll be expunged.

[A]

So she's not allowed to talk. Shit.

[B]

I love the name the Delco Pooper. Cause it kind of sounds like a cereal. Like she was going around all of Delco Poop.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That is how. Like, it's funny that they put that clause in there that she can't talk about on social media, because that is how you grow a tick tock following.

[B]

That is true.

[A]

She would be. Yeah, she would be.

[B]

But it would be like everyone's like, like, what the is this lady?

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, stop drinking. Because you could do that. You know, she'd become like a sober.

[B]

Influencer or she'd become like a lolcow. Like a Christian situation.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. She could definitely be like, people, like laugh at her. Like yelling at people at the supermarket. Yeah, I could definitely see that.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Did you guys see Chris Chan's body cam footage of when he got arrested or she got arrested? You got. I mean, I. I won't go. It's. I like everything. Chris Chan, it's a whole saga, but it's crazy. Christian is in the back of the cop car explaining Sonichu lore. He's like, so then the two medallions, they go in and Sonichu. And there's a virgins. And I was like, this guy is just Chris. This girl Chris Chan all the time.

[A]

Like, even when this was after they got caught having sex with their mother.

[B]

Yes. So they found Chris Chan in like a motel. And Chris Chan is wearing the Sonichu amulet. And they're. And they're.

[A]

And the material explain Chris Chan to people. Because it's been a while since we. There was a very.

[B]

You could do it, Zach, I think.

[A]

Go to Johnish person whose claim to fame was creating a character called Sonichu who was a mix between Sonic the Hedgehog and Pikachu from Pokemon. And they were everything you think that person was gonna be.

[B]

Yeah. Just.

[A]

And then they transitioned. And when I say transitioned, I mean grew their Hair.

[B]

Yeah. Just not. It's.

[A]

It's not putting the word change their. I have no. It's the first woman hate in my heart.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I have no issue if you want to be called whatever you want to be called. I want to honor that and respect you and I want you to be comfortable.

[D]

Right. But it was.

[A]

You gotta put in some semblance of the work.

[D]

It was bad for the.

[B]

Cause she looks like Ben Franklin.

[A]

Yeah, it's.

[B]

That's not my original thought. That's the. So the Internet also, there's a huge saga where they basically publicly made fun.

[A]

Of this person and embarrassed them and. Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then they got caught having sex with their mother.

[B]

Well, being on the phone with someone, talking about, like, repeatedly, like, eating her out. Cause her mom was like, paralyzed, basically. It was, oh, yeah, that's Chris Chan.

[D]

Oh.

[B]

Oh. But you can't help but feel bad because this is like, they are the most trolled person of all time and we're already autistic.

[A]

And like, I haven't done this joke in years and I need to do it because I need to tickle my own pickle. When it came out that this Pokemon enthusiast was caught raping his mother, my. My first thought was, who's that poking mom? I like that.

[D]

Nice.

[B]

Well, they had already gotten in trouble with the police earlier for @Gamestop. And there's video of it too. Taking the Sonic games and trying to color them yellow with like a yellow highlighter, basically. And they're like, you can't do it. Like, yes, I can. Like, I think they, like, hit someone because they're like an employee or something like that. Anyway, the body cam footage just got released and it's just so crazy that.

[A]

Chris Chandler really is like, to catch a predator for retard.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Literally, to catch a Redditor.

[D]

Nice.

[B]

Good night, everybody.

[A]

Fantastic. Congratulations. We're here.

[E]

Oh, look, he's making him suck his own dick.

[B]

Why don't you take a seat by the PS2?

[A]

It really is like. It is like a honey pot.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

For out of control autistic people that don't. Don't rape children. Just, like, scream in public when they don't get their way.

[D]

I literally hate anytime I have to get a gift for Joe.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And I have to go into a goddamn game.

[B]

Not changed. They have not changed.

[A]

Well, it's crazy the idea of going into a physical game store at this point.

[B]

I get it. If you want to get games cheap. Like, it's a good way to sell games and buy them cheap. Like, because the digital downloads are always, like, what?

[A]

Yeah, I guess. I guess. But the whole. It just seems like it's dated. I've never been in one. If it's busy. It's not busy. It's a right show of, like, little kids trying to buy things they can't get.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Autistic people freaking out or, like, trying to hold court.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And the employees are so.

[A]

They're like.

[B]

So they're like comic book store people.

[D]

Autistic.

[A]

They're the king. They're the.

[D]

The king of that domain.

[A]

It's like the. The what. What was. Was it the. What was the experiment? That's funny, actually, where they made the prisoners.

[B]

Oh, the Stanford prison experiment.

[A]

Yeah. GameStop's like the. An experiment for retarded people. For autistic people.

[B]

So fun.

[A]

They made some of them a charge. Some of them.

[B]

That is amazing.

[A]

And you can see how they abuse their power.

[B]

You get a shock because you're so bad at multiplayer.

[A]

I'm really mad about how good that.

[B]

That that's. You should say that on stage, actually. That's great. That's really good, man. I mean, they. I mean, Comic Book Guy came out, like, what, like, 20 years ago, and they're still like that. They're still like, those guys. Like, they're rude. You should be thankful anyone's buying physical media. I mean, I guess they're retail employees, so, you know.

[D]

Right. No, that sucks.

[B]

But they don't do their job like every other retail employee. They act like you're bothering them.

[D]

They just look up stuff on the computer all day.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Mario Kart, the new one.

[B]

Yeah. You would play Mario Kart?

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I'm trying to buy something.

[A]

Comic book stores. Because when I'm on the road with Thomas Ellie, if we have time to kill, and I'm like, all right, we're just gonna find every comic book store.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

In, you know, within an hour and hit them all and see what. Like, what's farting around.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Or vintage record shops, whatever.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, we go. Stores are fun.

[A]

We go antique. We go vintage shopping.

[B]

You know, browsing. Yeah, yeah, right.

[D]

You're a lovely couple on the road.

[A]

We get hot dogs. We smoke weed in parks.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Yeah. It's a lovely day. I explained somebody once I had a day that was you guys together.

[B]

Look. Probably look like Sandler and Farley couple sketch.

[A]

We had such a great day. One day on the road where, like, we went shopping, we smoked pot. We fucking went and got hot dogs.

[B]

Oh, man, that's awful.

[A]

And I said at the end of that day, if we had been married, that would be the day I think about as we hold hands on my dad.

[B]

Yeah, the nice guy.

[A]

This is the nicest day, Hank.

[B]

Wasn't that a nice day?

[A]

Someone kill me now. God. And I will say some comic book places are, like, so condescending, so scary.

[B]

It's like, dude, first of all, the books are so overpriced. I just got Swamp Thing because I haven't seen it or read it, I guess.

[A]

And they're, like, mean.

[B]

They're, like, mean to you.

[A]

I'm like, come on. I had a guy. Please don't be mean on that trip with Thomas. Ellie, start nerd. Splaining the Toxic Avenger to me.

[B]

Amazing.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And I just slowly brought my sleeve up to show that he's my entire forearm. And then he's like, how do you know the Toxic Avenger? And I went, I've been working with trauma for 15 years. And he's like, yeah, but you. And then he just completely went back on his.

[B]

Dude. It's like, nerd dick measuring contest. Absolutely.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You're right, though. It's because they're the king in there and everything. Like, I'm the dominant. I gotta dominate.

[A]

Well, there's a lot of, like, when you go on the road and find comic book stores, I don't think they want to sell shit. Like, I think they just have a big collection.

[D]

Yeah, Come look at my stuff.

[A]

And it's a. Come look at my room.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Don't touch anything.

[B]

They get mad when take something.

[A]

But I've had place like, I had talking about it was like, a vintage store, and they had a bunch of Toxic Crusaders action figures. And I was like, I'd buy those. And I went up and I asked, and they were crazy. And I just showed them on ebay how much they were.

[D]

Right?

[A]

And he's like, ah. And I went, buddy. And I waited for everybody to leave the store because I didn't want to be a dick.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I go, dude, do you really want to sell these, or do you just, like, have. He goes, well, I want to sell them. I went, how long have they been on the fucking shelf?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And he goes, five, six years. And I went, we're in, like, you know, some nowhere New York. I went, how many people are walking in here who are huge fans of the Toxic Crusaders? One season cartoon from 1993, that they came in and knew the names of the characters of each toy? And he went, never. I Went, do you think somebody else is gonna come in tomorrow.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

With a bag with a dollar sign on it and go, give me your finest toxic toys? Or can we just fucking do this, man?

[D]

Did you get them?

[A]

Yep, I did.

[B]

Good for you.

[A]

You're right. I think I talked them down to $5 a toy.

[B]

Great. Amazing. Well done.

[A]

I love. Dude, I walk into those stores like I'm at a fucking market in Bangladesh.

[B]

They probably hate to see you.

[A]

They probably hate it. They hate it. I will, literally, because I was going with cash, right? And I will go, this is what I have to spend in here.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

What?

[A]

Let's talk turkey.

[B]

You're like the Minnesota Fats of comic book.

[A]

New Jersey fats.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

New Jersey. Ah.

[A]

See, that's $5, because I got fucked at a Pawn Star, a pawn shop once. And ever since then, I go in to negotiate.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I had an old roommate, Shannon, I apologize if I told this recently. I had an old roommate who moved out and he couldn't afford the last rent, but his girlfriend had lived with us. And he goes, here, she played violin and she left her violin. I'll let you have that and you can pawn it. And he was just trying to pawn. Show up. He was just trying to get out.

[E]

Right.

[A]

You know what? I'll do that. And here I am in my head thinking about every episode of Pawn Stars I've ever watched.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Going, all right, I'm gonna go in. I'm not gonna. I'm gonna, you know, not let him lowball me. You know, if he's gonna offer one thing, I'll. I'll take it down. Five bucks. Ten bucks.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I walk in with this fucking violin. The guy never even looks up from the computer. I open the violin, he looks at me, he goes, no, no. I went, ah, come on, man. Nothing. And he just goes on ebay and types it in. He goes, that's worth $20. It's not worth my time. And then just turns it around, he goes, thank you. Goodbye.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

And I was so fucking embarrassed.

[D]

Yeah. It's so embarrassing.

[B]

Again, so no bedside manner.

[A]

He did not want to be spoken to.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And it made me so bad. So now when I go in, I want to be the negotiator.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

It's like a pawn shop is like a scumbag comic book shop, more or less. Yeah. You know, it's like they talk about holding the power.

[B]

So this is a stupid question. How do pawn shops work? Like, you bring in something, and they're like, this is. I'll give you $30 for this and then you like give them the money back or something.

[A]

Okay. So you can sell or pawn. If you pawn something, they will give you a loan. You have 30 days to pay the money they gave you plus usually 10 or 15% interest to get your item back.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

If you do not give them that money in whatever the allotted amount of time is, they now own it.

[B]

Okay. Okay. And people can buy that stuff from.

[A]

The pawn shop and you can go and buy that shit.

[B]

Okay. Is it usually discounted at a pawn shop or something? Can you get good deals at a pawn shop? Is it like a buffalo exchange?

[A]

I think it depends.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Depends on the store. Like some places like. Of course not. The ones on tv.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like those. You go to those specifically because you.

[B]

Can say you went there right to the.

[A]

But if you go to a regular one, you'll find shit. Like it's a lot of jewelry shit.

[B]

Gotcha. Yeah.

[A]

Assume if you bring in jewelry, they're gonna weigh it and you're going to get whatever the meltdown value is.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

But you'll go in. I've seen like we like a lot of like outdated electronics.

[B]

Gotcha.

[A]

Shit. Anybody? Like I had a. Another roommate who was a fucking junkie and he would pawn his laptop every month for rent and then buy it back. And I was like, dude, you can you just get ahead of this?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Because you keep paying for your computer again every month.

[D]

He was on it. Yeah.

[A]

And then pay 10% on it to get it back.

[B]

That's so funny.

[A]

And it was insane because it was a shitty laptop. It wasn't a mess. It was like a 300 computer.

[D]

It was his only asset.

[A]

Yeah. And he was renting his own computer back every month.

[B]

That's crazy. Well, at least he came up with the money every month somehow. That's crazy. Can you get ahead of it?

[A]

Where were. Okay. Hey guys. Today's episode is brought to you by our friends at Small Batch Cigars. Simple, fast, small batch. Having cigars in the house is the same as having a fine cheese. A bottle of wine makes you look like a classy individual. And our friends at Small Batch Cigar have you covered. They have free shipping on every order with almost every order arriving within two to three days. In the continental United States, they have the most thorough packaging in the industry. They all come with that Boveda pack. So everything you get delivered to you is super fresh. They have an amazing selection of rare, limited and hard to find cigars. And you earn 5% rewards points instantly. So go to smallbatch cigar.com today. And most people click the new button first to shop the newest arrivals. Plus we got a discount code for you kids. That's gas 10. Gas 10 for, 10 off. Plus those 5% rewards points. Check them out, let them know we sent you that small batch cigar.com simple, fast, small batch. Let's get back into the show. Here's, here's a fun one. Meat discovered in travelers luggage. And everyone starts freaking out because of what it looks like. Shannon, you know which one I'm talking about, right?

[E]

Yes, I do.

[A]

So somebody's travel. Where were they coming from?

[D]

Shannon, let's see.

[E]

So I think this. Oh, for coming from Africa and I think it was in Chicago, but it's coming from Africa.

[B]

Fuck.

[D]

Is that like a freeze dried monkey?

[A]

Ding, ding, ding.

[D]

Oh, I know my meat.

[E]

Yes, yes, it was a monkey. And then there was also. Let me just click over so I see these wings. No, I think it's. It's like little bitty hands and you're seeing. It's like rib pieces.

[B]

It was like a bat to me. Like.

[E]

Yeah, hold on one second because I have. Cuz there was a whole bunch of other stuff that they had also. One second. Yeah, it was Chicago bound.

[A]

Is that like. That didn't look edible.

[D]

No, not at all. It looked like a. It looked like a spirit of Halloween decoration.

[A]

Yeah. But like I could see if it was a delicacy. And they're like, you know what, they just don't have good monkey in Chicago. Not what I've heard.

[E]

So 11 pounds of beans with pests in them, 17 pounds of unknown plants and 4 pounds of non human primate meat.

[B]

Why did he do that?

[A]

Yeah, were they trying to sell it or are they just living with him?

[E]

They don't know.

[B]

This is my roommate.

[D]

Maybe it was for voodoo purposes.

[A]

Can I ask a real honest question and please forgive me. Is there anything black people won't bring on a plane? What I can't figure out. Thank you. Dude, I can't. The amount of times I've had like my fucking hair pomade or makeup or whatever the fuck I travel with thrown out in front of me and then I see a black lady with a full seafood boil. How the fuck did you get that on the fucking plane? I've seen at in Chicago. I've seen people get on the security line with full catering trays.

[B]

That's cool. I get it. Airport food's so expensive.

[D]

I know.

[A]

Pack a sandwich.

[D]

I know what the.

[A]

Do you. If you need something that Needs Sternos.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And then the. The rudeness to bring it on the fucking plane.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

That is to bring boiling sea. And listen, I think those things are delicious.

[B]

They are delicious.

[A]

But I cannot assume everyone else on the plane is super cool with.

[D]

Yeah, I'm cognizant of what I eat the day before a flight.

[A]

Sure.

[D]

You know, it's like, no, we're not gonna order Indian food tonight. You know, I have a flight at 7:00am 100.

[B]

Yeah. You don't want to lay a Bombay.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I just don't get how they get it on the plane.

[D]

Right.

[A]

All the juices and in there. How the do you know I can't bring a bottle of water?

[B]

I know.

[D]

It's so annoying.

[B]

Still.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

One time I was on a flight and the TSA was held up and I. And I was like, what the is going on? There's a guy just, like a shitload of cash and like an envelope. Just like. Like a ton of. It was really, like. That was kind of crazy.

[A]

I've had. I've gotten stopped. I get stopped almost every time.

[B]

Really?

[A]

And it's always, dude, one time, Lee goes, there's something in your bag we need to look at. I open it up. It was a book.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

And she goes, what's this? I went, a book.

[D]

The Mein Kampf.

[A]

I would. No, it was like, just like a history. Not that kind of history.

[D]

The rise of the Third Reich.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's a great autobiography.

[A]

And, like, it just looks weird in there. We don't have people traveling with these most of the time with books. Dude, it was. Where do you fly out of Jersey City.

[B]

Okay. All right.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

But. Yeah, and then I've been stopping. Usually. I'll get. Why you got makeup? Because I'm a faggot. I don't know. What do you want me to tell you? So they. Did they get charged with anything? Shannon, with the meter? They're allowed to fly with that? Are you.

[B]

I didn't even know.

[D]

I thought you're not supposed to pay way.

[A]

You're not supposed to travel with food.

[D]

That, like, disrupts the ecosystem kind of.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. We're going to have dead monkeys everywhere.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Custom.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

It says that they're all prohibited items. They were seized and destroyed. But it doesn't say if they were, like, fined or anything.

[D]

Someone tasted that monkey.

[B]

They just threw it out.

[D]

It's like when they throw away weed.

[A]

Yeah. Just four pounds of monkey. Dude, did you see.

[B]

You're gonna have to eat this right here.

[A]

I don't yeah. Oh, like Liz Lemon order sandwich.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Some guy eating a whole monkey.

[B]

Yeah, I will eat it right now.

[A]

I can have it all.

[D]

Or they just put it in the staff room. It's like, oh, there's snacks in the staff.

[B]

I mean, it's just like. I mean, good. Like, good. I don't like. I don't want Covid. Right. It's like, don't bring a fucking full monkey. I don't know.

[A]

Did you see some places now have a weed amnesty box?

[D]

I have seen that. Oakland has that in Canada. There's a lot of that.

[A]

They just take that, right?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

There's no way on earth that's getting destroyed. No, that's just. Somebody gets to take that home, right?

[D]

Yeah. I mean, it would be dumb to destroy it. What a waste.

[B]

I. In Oakland, they just let you fly with it, actually. It's like in the rules that they really decriminalize it at the open.

[D]

What if you're going to Texas?

[B]

Well, that's the thing is if that's. That's your risk. Once you land, you can get arrested still with the weed. If it's going. If you're flying to somewhere else. But you can leave Oakland. Like, you can put in your TSA bag.

[D]

People do that anyways.

[B]

But, yeah, I think that's the thing.

[A]

I always just check my bag of it as weed in it.

[B]

You shouldn't do that, though, because they check because they'll randomly check checked bags. It's easier to get away with it in the carry on.

[A]

I've never.

[B]

Yeah, I've. I've researched this. I've done a lot of research into.

[A]

I've never real drugs. Just weed.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Weeds is very not. I mean, I think.

[A]

And it's usually from somewhere where it's legal to New York. There you go.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I've never really. I think if you.

[B]

If you're. If you're. Yeah. Honestly. In the checked plane. Yeah. If it's checked. I guess it's like, what can they do? Although it's against the federal law. Well, yeah.

[D]

Well, we. Trump just made it like a Class 3.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It has a Class 1.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I would actually recommend not checking it. I would put it in. Put it in, like, your carry on. Even though it seems more stressful, it's actually a safer bet because they can't see weed in that thing.

[D]

You can also find weed wherever you are.

[B]

Yeah, of course.

[A]

Sometimes you do a comedy festival.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

And people bring you close to a couple ounces.

[D]

Right.

[A]

And you don't want to leave that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, sure.

[A]

You, you bribe some, some of the people at the hotel with it. Yeah, sure, you give it out as much as you can.

[D]

But then you still have, you've never.

[B]

Gotten that creepy note in your check bag. That's like, we looked at this.

[D]

Oh, I've gotten that.

[A]

I've never gotten it.

[B]

Yeah, I don't really care. They'll leave a note like a little serial killer Catwoman or something. That'll be like, we looked through your bag.

[A]

I wonder if it's because my bag is neon green and covered in stickers that they're like, this would be stupid to put drugs in here.

[E]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

What kind of idiot hiding in plain sight?

[B]

If this guy's a terrorist, he's some kind of riddler situation.

[A]

I do have. My seat case is neon green. And literally every time I'm with somebody, they go, that's definitely your bag. Right? When they see it coming.

[B]

Yeah, my bag.

[A]

Dylan did it when we landed in New Orleans. Our bags. And Dylan goes, which one's yours? I'm like, you'll know, you'll know.

[B]

Oh, that's so funny.

[A]

All right, we'll do one.

[B]

I'd love to have a brand that strong.

[D]

You know your luggage so well.

[A]

Oh, by the way, I wanted to, I, I, I'm going to try and tell this story as non offensive as possible to my wife's family. My father in law is a little out of it. Very sweet man.

[E]

Man.

[A]

He has, he, he was kind of dopey when I met him 10 years ago. It's, it's, he's declining slightly. Very, very sweet old man. And he's got an issue right now because he's been in, out of the hospital where he has to take a pill before he eats because his body is not digesting okay. So it just, it's like, it's like having a funnel.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

In the house, right. And he shows up and all he can talk about is this fucking pill. He's got him in his hand. I take my pill before I eat anything. And he's like having cheese and crackers. Takes his pill all day. I take my, at one point I lost my pill. Did you look in your pockets, George? Got em right. Just all day, this pill. Christmas Eve's dinner. Beautiful baked ziti meatballs. He, he's obsessed with anchovies. They get him a jar of anchovies, he puts them in his salad and on his garlic bread. Wrapping up dinner. Oh, what I think I didn't take my pill. No, dude.

[B]

It just went straight through.

[A]

It was insane. I mean, we might as well have just poured it. Oh, Lord, we might as well have poured in.

[B]

It sounds like the Delco poopers.

[D]

Yeah, literally. Too bad there wasn't a road race.

[A]

And they had to throw him in the bathroom. And when I say dinner went sour quick.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Because whatever was in this old man, it. From the sound and smell, I think there was like a license plate in was bananas. And then thank God I did not get up the next day because apparently what I missed was my mother in law hold. He's got like a little like plastic urinal for when he can't get into the bathroom. And my sister in law walked in on her mother holding her dad's dick while he pissed into a jar.

[D]

This is why marriage is so terrifying.

[A]

Dude, fuck that. I would tell my wife to kill me. Literally smother me with a pillow, take all my shit.

[D]

I'm for elective euthanasia. Take yourself out.

[B]

You do get so old that you loop back around him being a baby again.

[E]

Yes, 100%.

[B]

And you're just stoked that everything's happening. What the fuck?

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

Hey.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Full.

[A]

Like it was a kid's Christmas for him.

[B]

Yeah. That's like my grandma, she's like, I know. That's the most she's ever smiled. Is now. Because she says, no, this is a very Abe Simpson moment. We were all eating dinner at Christmas and she was like, well, happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

[A]

My grandpa would do that. My grandpa would always have the wrong holiday.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And we tried to explain to her and she's like, what?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

All right.

[A]

The last time I saw my Cuban grandma, she had dementia. She told the table I was with my wife and she told everybody that it was okay that I was gay and they all should stop talking about me behind my back. Wow.

[D]

Really? Truly pulled back the curtain on that one.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yep.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

But when I was a kid, she would say, zachary is creative, like the Elton John. That was her nice way of saying it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But yeah, she told me in front of my wife, it's okay to be gay and everyone should stop talking about you behind your back about it.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Oops.

[D]

Old habits die hard.

[B]

He's got a little sugar in the tank.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right, let's do one more and then get out of here. Actually, you know what? Let's take a look at this. Girl dates a Zombie doll.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

Okay.

[C]

Yes, I am romantic with all of them, but mainly it's usually Kelly. Kelly Kelly.

[A]

Kelly. Pause, pause. I see a bit of a pelvic. I think there's a bit of a. Bit of a pelvic floor issue here.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Is there a correlation between autism and big old titties?

[B]

Honestly, yes. From a lot of the open micros I've dated.

[A]

From a personal perspective, Honestly, yes.

[D]

I'm safe. Oh, my God, the zombie dolls is bad.

[B]

Another job taken by AI.

[C]

Oh, just 10. I found Kelly on a creepy collection.com site and I had to have her.

[A]

And this is unbearable. Yeah, I would. I would blow up GameStop, whatever. This kid with a vest, whatever she needs to tell me I need to die. I would throw myself off a roof before having a conversation. There's a reason this girl, the dolls, she fucks need to be dead. This bitch sucks. Yeah, I. Fuck it. I. Oh, my God.

[D]

She is one of the worst ones of people I've seen, like, assessed with their, like, real life dogs.

[B]

It's. It's actually fine because there's a lot.

[A]

Of actually and literally.

[B]

So literally. And actually the.it two years older than 18. So it's legal in many states.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Keep it moving. Shannon stays in school.

[C]

He'll let me have her.

[B]

Why do they all have that voice?

[C]

By the time I was 13, Kelly was mine line. These are my other partners. And no, they're not children. She's 38, he's 37 and she's 39.

[B]

So legit.

[A]

And I'm legit talks just like Chris.

[B]

Chan, by the way.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

This is what Chris Chan sounds like describing the sonichu universe.

[A]

Keep it going.

[E]

She didn't say the age of the youngest one, though.

[A]

No, she did not.

[B]

So she's underage.

[D]

Yeah. Are they. Are they Polly? I don't know.

[C]

I think they're England. And she is very intelligent. Very. Yes, I am.

[A]

Jesus Christ. I know.

[B]

It's autistic. People blink a lot. That's like.

[D]

It's like a. Like a tick.

[A]

Yeah, Right. That is her family.

[D]

That's bad.

[A]

Yeah, that's a bad holiday.

[D]

And you know, she doesn't live alone. Like, she doesn't live mom and Dad's house.

[B]

That's like the kind of girl that slides into my DMs because she most likely Mom's house. I heard you on the Real F.

[A]

Podcast and I feel, let's be honest, mom and dad ain't together.

[C]

No.

[A]

That is too much stress in that household.

[B]

Hey, you want to talk about a zombie marriage? That one. I don't care.

[D]

You either get that or you get Nick who goes off and kills.

[B]

Right. The mom.

[D]

You know, a mom for pussy like you.

[A]

I got to be honest. Lateral move.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like this. This is all the consequence of being unmonitored.

[B]

Right.

[E]

By the way, I found. I'm sorry to interrupt you, but this. This is crazy. So I found another video of her, and it includes a video of one her. Her marrying one of them.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

That's not. So she's married.

[D]

Yeah, to one of the dolls.

[B]

Wedding on a dvd. Not even a file on a computer. Oh, God. Who the is indulging in this? By the way, I really love you.

[C]

And I really enjoyed marrying you, you know?

[A]

Oh, God, there's so, so many comic books in D D3.

[B]

Someone save that cat.

[D]

Oh, I see. Nightmare Before Christmas merch.

[E]

I don't know how much of it you want to watch.

[C]

And I'm married to my love, Kelly the zombie doll.

[B]

Kelly the zombie doll when I was 10. Oh, my God.

[C]

Kelly on a cross.

[A]

So this is a longer version of the clip.

[E]

Yeah, yeah. I don't know how much.

[A]

Oh, man. What? She could have fooled you back in the day.

[B]

I know.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

She looks like a Scottie Pippen.

[A]

Yeah, she was a weird black chick. Yeah.

[E]

Do you want me to keep going?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So. And I had to have her, and I had to. Hopper said if I get good grades in school, he'll let me have.

[B]

If I got good grades in school.

[C]

I was 13. Kelly was mine. I chose a zombie doll because I love zombies. Her look may bother people, but she doesn't bother me. Just because she's a zombie doll doesn't mean she's evil.

[B]

Rare black girl with bad skin, by the way.

[C]

Like and love zombies. I think they're cool. That doesn't mean that I'm attracted to dead people.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

I love dolls.

[B]

She looks so normal.

[C]

Happen to like the horror dolls. I like to go shopping with Kelly and buy outfits for her because it's fun and it actually helps me with my depression.

[A]

Oh, how she really? Because it depresses the out of everybody.

[C]

Probably not.

[A]

No. You look stupid. People are gonna think we're idiots if you wear that.

[C]

It's nice.

[B]

Maybe the Deadpool's hat. No. What was I even thinking?

[A]

What am I. No, no, no.

[B]

In my head, this looks a lot better.

[A]

Tomboy.

[C]

She's tomboy. When I'm talking about Kelly, I'm speaking from my heart. Some people think it's a big joke.

[B]

James girl, Delini gloves, matching necklace.

[A]

She looks like the black guy that sings Operatic versions of wrestling theme songs. Time to play the game.

[D]

She has a tattoo that says Kelly.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

Oh, no. Well, the zombie also has a tattoo.

[C]

I like to go out to eat with Kelly.

[A]

Zombies got a tattoo that says.

[B]

Dumb.

[C]

I like shrimp and she likes broccoli.

[B]

Oh, this is why she gained weight. She's obviously eating the. The zombies food every time.

[C]

I like it too.

[E]

She has no jaw, though.

[C]

It's always nice taking Kelly. Sometimes I get a little nervous because of what people might say when I think of Kelly. I think of her as a person.

[B]

She wants to be chock full of autism that way.

[C]

And I'm tired.

[A]

An experimental amount. Right? Like Captain America super serum.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

They, like, studied her. They come up with a syndrome named after her.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Bad things and mean things and, you know, everybody says don't bully until it's something that they don't like or they don't understand. And people fear what they don't understand.

[B]

That's.

[A]

Oh, no. Did she just look into my soul when she said that?

[D]

She reminds me of that one kid from Heavyweights.

[A]

I know. You know?

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

We go back a second, dude.

[B]

Look at fear. What they don't understand.

[A]

Look at. Look in her eyes.

[B]

Autistic person has a little more ha ha in them.

[A]

Yeah. Look at her eyes when she says that.

[C]

I don't understand. And people fear what they don't understand.

[B]

People.

[C]

Everyone has a friend with my love for Kelly. And I'm not a pedophile. And I'm not an evil person. And I'm not possessed.

[B]

And I'm.

[C]

And she's not.

[B]

I'm not a pedophile at all.

[D]

Is this what they mean when they say, give the pedophiles dolls?

[B]

I love just. Just in there being like, look, I am not a pedophile.

[D]

Not that this even needs to be said.

[B]

One of those things.

[D]

But I am not a pedophile. Just.

[B]

Hey, Just. Everyone knows I'm not a pedophile.

[A]

Ladies. You'd be so much less weird if you were a pedophile.

[D]

Yeah, Literally.

[B]

So how'd you meet the zombie? I am not a pedophile.

[D]

She could have been.

[A]

Ma. Ma. Holy. Keep it moving.

[B]

Not a pedophile at all.

[C]

Who I love or to society what I love because of the pin she.

[B]

Just slipped in that I'm not a pedophile. Like, did not elaborate ever be.

[C]

They could change, but I don't think it will.

[B]

I don't think I will. I love autistic people have that condescending voice. A little bit like, yeah, pretty much.

[D]

They're so.

[B]

Yeah, they're so sure.

[C]

Love to her in that kind of way. Like, hey, Kelly, you know I love you. And I just wanted to have a little. And it was around my birthday.

[A]

Around.

[B]

Who is this guy? I know these two guys are enabling.

[C]

It was a really beautiful day. I had a really beautiful dress. I felt like a real woman.

[E]

And like.

[C]

And then Kelly had. Was dressed really nicely, and I felt, is she Jewish?

[A]

Is the dial Jewish?

[B]

Also, is Kelly a guy?

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

Oh, they're. They're in a lesbian.

[A]

No. It's a progressive doing this because you think they fought over who had to wear this dress?

[D]

This is a queer relationship.

[C]

It makes me feel relaxed, really excited.

[B]

To meet all my favorite comedians at Skank Fest later this year.

[C]

Bushy beard. When I was a kid, my dad recently passed away. And he meant and means a lot to me because, you know, even though he didn't really understand me, like all the way, you know, he still accepted. And he tried so hard to be a good dad. And I just miss him now.

[B]

I'm very sad.

[C]

Childhood was okay, but then as I got to be teenager.

[A]

I don't think so.

[B]

I don't think it was okay.

[A]

Go back to that Christmas picture. Here's the first time my dad caught me trying to fuck the soldiers in this Christmas pageant.

[B]

They're pretty sexy. Yeah, but could they.

[A]

I don't know about you that, but these. These inanimate soldiers are really getting my pussy wet.

[B]

Well, can we take off their jaws, though? That might be pretty fun. If we put some blood on them and took off their jaws.

[A]

Now just imagine if they were dead, boss. If they were also corpses. Father.

[B]

Yeah, they're too alive for me, I think.

[A]

I'm not a pedophile, by the way, just so you know. Not pedophile.

[B]

She should be in the wnba. She shouldn't be doing all this.

[A]

Keep it going.

[C]

You're 15 and up. It got really difficult because I found my birth family. I wanted to have a relationship with my birth father because he was a lot younger. And I knew my father Charlie, who adopted me, wasn't gonna last that long. I mean, he was old. He was older.

[B]

Jesus Christ. This is so sad.

[C]

With my birth father, this is literally like heartbreaking himself. And I saw him brain dead on life support and everything else.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[B]

That's why. Yeah, she was talking to me. Well, they say your sexuality comes from your parents. So she saw his dad. Her dad brain dead was like, I'm getting Turned on right now.

[C]

When I get out of prison. Just because I get out of prison doesn't mean that I drop me and your father just gonna drop everything just because you're around and I don't. And that just hurt my feeling. Then it just seems like family can really be tough, you know, Kelly was there with me through all of it. And that's why our bond.

[A]

She didn't have a choice.

[D]

Dead dolls don't go anywhere.

[B]

Where's she gonna go?

[A]

Where's she gonna.

[C]

I just think that as time went on, I just started treating the dolls more like people.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[D]

My empathy receptors are like on overdrive. And this is like making me mad.

[A]

This is.

[B]

I. I've never felt this.

[A]

The new Toy Story is dark.

[B]

I never felt that mix of empathy and also like, what the is your problem? This. Imagine when I watched the real life Peter Griffin documentary, like, that's the last time I felt this. That combo of emotion.

[A]

Let's. Let's finish it and then we'll be done here.

[C]

Other partners and no, they're not children.

[A]

No.

[B]

They get so mad.

[C]

He's 37 and.

[A]

And whoops.

[C]

Zoe is so.

[B]

She's into older guys as what I feel.

[C]

She's from London, England, and she is very intelligent, very witty. He's all happy and funny. Kind of reminds me of Ted the bear. And then like, Courtney's like badass. Like, speak your mind, be cool. And yes, yes, I am romantic with all them. But mainly it's usually Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. I go through little phases, like a Courtney, Courtney, Courtney. Or Tommy, Tommy, Zoe, Zoe. Sometimes it feels like I'm actually really falling in love all over it. I know I always keep going back to Kelly and it's like, I just love Kelly. She's short, but who cares? There are.

[D]

That's what I said.

[B]

I am offended. Do not compare me to that zombie freak. I'm Ted the bear. How dare she compare me to Careless. This dumb bitch. I can talk. What the fuck is she talking about?

[D]

I'd never fuck her.

[B]

I'd never fuck her.

[C]

And I'm not. I would never do something like that.

[A]

I'd say, get away from me, retard.

[B]

Get away from me, fucking retard. I can actually talk and walk. That's a doll, you dumb bitch. I mean, if I fucked you, it would be some kind of crime, right, Johnny?

[A]

I'd get in more trouble. And I'm a bear.

[B]

Here's how fucked up this is. If we had sex, I would go.

[A]

To jail and I'm a bear that.

[B]

Came to.

[C]

I be my life totally perfect. I'd still be with Kelly because I noticed that I just draw to inanimate objects like dolls and stuff like that. It's object and sexuality. But I don't really like to consider it that way because my dolls don't look like objects, they look like people. But then again, I'm not attracted to people. So I'm kind of in the middle there for the people that want to know why. I don't know why. Because that's just the way I am. When people say I'm mentally ill because of Kelly. No, I'm mentally ill because of people like you and other people who are not nice.

[D]

Can't argue with that.

[C]

Meaning bipolar, depression and anxiety, you know, and stuff like that.

[B]

Autism.

[C]

I don't hear her talk. I just think of the voice and that's what makes me think, you know what I mean? Or I feel a feeling like somebody can feel God or Jesus, you know.

[A]

I'm realizing talking to.

[B]

She talks just like the Rizzler like explaining the rid's face like. And then I do this and then this and then that's the ridge horrific.

[C]

That's how I feel with my dolls. I don't really hear things and I'm not mentally ill when it comes to that. But Kelly helps me with my depression and helps you with my anxiety.

[A]

How awful is her bush?

[C]

But it makes awful.

[D]

I was just thinking the hygiene. You don't need to have good hygiene with an animator, George W. Out there.

[A]

Oh boy. All right, we're calling it there. I want to thank my wonderful guests Robbie Goodwin and Kelly Taylor. Please support them. Check out the arena of ideas of Ideas premiering. Check out I feel fat today. And thank you so much to Jor Shannon in the booth and we'll see you on Wednesday. Bye.

[B]

Grab a coffee and join the crew. It's Acamiko morning too.

[A]

It's Acomico morning one and two.

[D]

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