Zac Amico's Morning Zoo

Episode 0077: Dru Montana, Dulce Mac, and Matt Maran
Release Date: January 9, 2026
Podcast Network: GaS Digital

Episode Overview

This wild and irreverent episode of Zac Amico's Morning Zoo brings together comedians Dru Montana, Dulce Mac, and Matt Maran for a freewheeling, hilarious conversation. The crew dives into twisted news, fast food absurdities, personal anecdotes, and the week's weirdest viral stories with trademark sarcasm, dark humor, and genuine camaraderie. Expect chaotic energy, sharp banter, and NSFW punchlines.

Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. Houston Snowstorm & Travel Calamities

• [02:12–04:44]
  • Zac and Dulce reminisce about being stranded during the rare Houston snowstorm, referencing the "Ted Cruz Cancun" debacle and survival tactics, like living off vending machines and Lewis "robbing" a closed Cheesecake Factory (“He just walked in, helped himself, and left money on the counter.” – Zac, 03:28).
  • Power outages led to awkward encounters; Zac recounts buying beer at a bodega that thought he was going to rob them:
    • "Power goes out, mag flashlights on all of us... They thought I was gonna try and run for it." – Zac [04:12]

2. Sensationalized Preschool News: 'Sleepy Stickers' Panic

• [05:09–12:38]
  • The crew analyzes a viral news story about “sleepy stickers” allegedly drugging preschoolers.
  • Investigation reveals they're just essential oil patches (e.g. lavender, mandarin)—no drugs, just aroma.
  • Notable Moment:
    • "This is some sensationalized horseshit. I think some parents trying to make a quick buck." – Dru [12:04]
  • Side discussion on allergies, immune system theories, and school snack paranoia.
  • Funny Quote:
    • "I used to eat my boogers until I was like 25 and I never get sick." – Dru [14:08]

3. Strange Fast Food Weddings & Drunk Food Lore

• [27:41–34:48]
  • Taco Bell launches a $777 wedding package with hot sauce bouquets and Elvis impersonator. Crew debates the value (and taste) of such a celebration (“That’s nuts. For $777, I need everything Taco Bell’s ever been affiliated with.” – Dru [28:15]).
  • Other fast food weddings: McDonald's in Indonesia (100 chicken sandwiches, 100 nugget packs for $200), and personal anecdotes about post-wedding food choices.
  • Zac shares his own wedding after-party plans: Bear Burger catering (“Not that bad, moneywise... Bear Burger did us for like 23 [dollars] a person.” – Zac [31:32])

4. Fast Food Mishaps: Earbuds & Deep Fryers, Legendary Dirty Oil, and Viral Mouse Videos

• [37:35–42:01]
  • Story of a McDonald’s employee burning their hand fishing out an earbud from the deep fryer. General skepticism over whether the earbuds survived: “I think you take the hit.” – Zac [38:29]
  • Wrestling lore: Dallas’s Sportatorium never changed their deep fryer oil—full of mouse skeletons (“That’s what all the food is being cooked in, and was the food good? They said it was the best fries you’ve ever had in your life.” – Zac [40:05])
  • Mouse-jumping-into-fryer viral videos get debated; existential horror at how often this seems to happen.

5. McDonald's Crime Corner

• [42:27–47:41]
  • The viral story of a McDonald's employee returning to stab her manager after being sent home early.
  • Crew discusses her widely shared “rant video” and psychoanalyzes her big-eyed delivery (“You infamously snap on people.” – Dru [57:01]).
  • Zac: “She looks like a black version of Wendy. She’s just working in the wrong place.” [43:29]
  • Tangents on how working the graveyard shift at NYC fast food joints warps people.

6. Notorious NYC/Crime Stories: Bernie Goetz & More

• [44:23–53:23]
  • The infamous subway shooting by Bernie Goetz and the later criminal records of his would-be muggers (“He shot him retarded. That's a good shot.” – Zac [53:27])
  • Ethical gray zones of NYC vigilante justice and news media spin.

7. Fantasy Football League: Painful Punishments Only

• [60:58–62:44]
  • A fantasy league where the “winner” simply escapes the bizarre punishments the losers must endure (e.g., living in a tent in second place’s yard, working a Burger King shift, auditioning for a Peter Pan play, attending a WNBA game stone sober, and more).
  • “If you get the part [in Peter Pan] that would be crazy,” laughs Dru [62:27].
  • Matt recalls epic “make your friend do standup” open mics as league punishment.

8. Comedy Hustle: Open-Mic Life, Documentaries, and Clout

• [64:33–66:39]
  • Everyone riffs about young comics bringing videographers to open mics just for social media clout (“I thought ‘stunting for the Gram’ meant taking pictures for your grandma—I am that white!” – Zac [64:26]).
  • The panel pokes fun at comics making “journey” documentaries too early in their careers, referencing now-deleted projects.

9. Celebrity Meltdown: The Tara Reid “Drugging” Incident

• [67:07–72:51]
  • Zac walks through Tara Reid’s recent bar incident where she claimed to be drugged; surveillance showed nobody tampering with her glass and speculation points to overindulgence or mixing medication and alcohol.
  • “It sounded like pills, though. Like her in the background on the phone… that sounded fucked up.” – Dru [72:39]

10. Arm Amputation Funeral – Dark Humor Done Right

• [76:24–80:42]
  • A young woman holds a proper funeral (complete with mortician-prepped arm) for her amputated limb. The crew finds it both morbid and hilarious.
  • Memorable Quote:
    • “She got the nails done on it… This is a fun goth.” – Zac [77:11]
    • “You gotta know her boyfriend was like, ‘Come on, yeah just one, just one’.” – Zac [81:06]
    • “Users hand job… get jerked off with the dead hand, right?” – Matt/Dru [81:09–81:12]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Sleepy Stickers Panic

  • “This is some sensationalized horseshit. I think some parents trying to make a quick buck.” — Dru [12:04]

• On Fast Food Wedding Packages

  • “For $777, I need both the white sisters and the baby that they took. I need everything Taco Bell’s ever been affiliated with.” — Dru [28:15]

• On Vigilante Justice

  • “He shot him retarded. That’s a good shot.” — Zac [53:27]

• On Open Mic Life

  • “He goes, ‘I ain’t gonna do no Tom. I’m just stunting for the Gram.’ …I thought that meant taking pictures for your grandma.” — Zac [64:26]

• On Drugging Stories

  • “It sounded like pills, though. Like, her in the background on the phone there. Yeah, that sounded fucked up.” — Dru [72:39]

• On the Arm Funeral

  • “My funeral will be by Taco Bell—but not by their choice.” — Zac [77:44]

• On Sensible Safety

  • “If you’re really that afraid… stop coming back and talking to me.” — Zac [76:22]

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Start Time | |-----------------------------------------------|:----------:| | Houston Snowstorm & Cheesecake Factory Story | 02:12 | | Sleepy Stickers School Scare | 05:09 | | Fast Food Weddings (Taco Bell, McD’s) | 27:41 | | Deep Fryers, Earbuds, Mouse Stories | 37:35 | | McDonald’s Stabbing & Rant Video | 42:27 | | Bernie Goetz/NYC Crime Tangents | 44:23 | | Fantasy Football League from Hell | 60:58 | | Clout Culture & Comedy Open Mics | 64:33 | | Tara Reid Incident | 67:07 | | Funeral for an Amputated Arm | 76:24 |

Tone & Style

• Playful, sarcastic, NSFW, and honest
• Banter is fast, witty, and profane
• Dark humor and wild digressions are common
• Panelists often riff off one another with one-liners, callbacks, and playful roast-style comments

Takeaway

Episode 0077 is classic “Morning Zoo” chaos: comic storytelling, internet absurdity, and fast food culture collide in a stream-of-consciousness, never-predictable hang. You’ll come away laughing at the world’s stupidity — and maybe rethinking your next McDonald’s run or comedy doc project.