0081. Joe Gorman and Kelly Taylor

Summary

Zac Amico's Morning Zoo – Episode 81

Guests: Joe Gorman & Kelly Taylor
Date: January 23, 2026
Network: GaS Digital Network

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Episode Overview

This uproarious, freewheeling episode of Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo rings in a chaotic Monday with comedians Joe Gorman and Kelly Taylor. The trio launch into raucous riffs on weird news stories, prison food, nostalgia, reality TV, infamous sex tapes, and low-brow pop culture. True to the show’s “drive-time zoo” format, the mood is boisterous and irreverent, with rapid-fire jokes and comically dark takes on the world’s oddities.

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Main Topics & Discussion Points

1. Martin Luther King Jr. Day Banter

(01:17–02:26)

• Zac welcomes Joe and Kelly, joking about how their “celebration” of MLK Day is pointedly irreverent.
• The group pokes fun at the different ways “to honor” MLK, with riffs about menthols, wiretapping, and inter-racial dating.

2. News: Jealous Girlfriend Throws 25lb Weight at Rival

(04:02–07:32)

• Story of a woman at a Houston gym throwing a 25lb weight at her boyfriend’s alleged mistress.
  • Zac: “That seems premeditated to me. When you specifically say the name of the weapon you're gonna use…” (06:32)
  • Joe: “It's like half my dick size. You measure your dick in pounds?” (04:16)
• Hilarious analogies for 25lbs (a toddler, dog, bag of kitty litter).
• No video of the event, but discussion about whether this results in jail time.
• The group riffs on how getting banned from both weed and the gym “is solitary confinement.”
  • Kelly: “Is that like implying the weed made her aggressive?” (08:37)
  • Zac: “That's tough. You can't get up or go to the gym.” (08:28)

3. High School Fights and Nicknames

(09:22–11:22)

• Zac recalls “Truck Face,” a tough girl from Jersey City who would fight and get drunk at school, and the phenomenon of nicknaming based on major incidents.
• The guys joke about remembering the first girls who “got boobs” in high school versus forgetting old teachers.
  • Zac: “Any guy can name the girls that grew boobs.” (11:22)
  • Joe: “Dude, every guy does.” (11:54)

4. Ohio Jail’s Disgusting ‘Wardenburger’

(12:21–16:30)

• Discussion of a penitentiary feeding inmates a gray, fibrous burger.
  • Ingredients: “fiber-heavy slop” of oats, beans, turkey, cabbage, etc., pressed between two white bread slices.
  • Zac: “If you've already reached solitary confinement, I don't know if you have the right to complain about the food...” (12:44)
• They compare the burger to health foods, “aliens making people food,” and “what comes out at the end of the Human Centipede.”
  • Joe: “It seems like something a fitness influencer would be like, ‘Yeah, I actually don’t miss hamburgers. I have this.’” (14:12)
• Social commentary on prison food, privatized jails, and the politics of who deserves better (violent vs non-violent offenders).
  • Zac: “Tax evasion, smoking weed… I would even say drug use… That’s as libertarian as I get.” (15:56)

5. Food Nostalgia & Fast Food Shrinkage

(17:00–20:30; 28:21–29:13)

• Longing for fast food “super size” days and the shrinking portion sizes of modern burgers.
  • Kelly: “If you order a Happy Meal now… it’s like a slider.” (28:44)
  • Zac: “The Big Mac is smaller. I remember the meat coming over the bun.” (28:32)

6. Prison Cuisine Challenges

(20:49–22:57)

• Brainstorming on “prison wine” (hooch) and how to make it for the show, plus jokes about in-house criminal economies.
  • Zac: “Shannon, bring up a good recipe for prison wine, and we'll make it a segment.” (22:00)
• The hoopla of hiding it from staff: “Tom will eat the bag.” (21:56)

7. Blind Social Media Influencers & Accessibility Gadgets

(25:14–27:09)

• Zac describes videos by blind influencers demonstrating life hacks.
• The cast devolves into joking about spitting food, and influencer tropes.
  • Kelly: “Just don't tell Grant I've been doing this for 12 years.” (26:29)
  • Zac: “Ew, you gross blind bitch. Get out of here.” (26:34)

8. TV & Movie Culture: Batman, Superheroes, Danzig

(29:38–34:55)

• Tangent from Batman action figures and McDonald's tie-ins to deep comic nerd chat: why Billy Dee Williams and Marlon Wayans got paid for roles they didn’t perform.
• Critique of the “Snyder-verse” and speculation about Henry Cavill as Wolverine.
  • Zac: “You know who they wanted to be Wolverine originally… Danzig. Wild, right?” (42:45)
• Zac slams Danzig’s “Verotika” film for shoddy filmmaking.
  • Zac: “Danzig stinks at moviemaking. Should not be allowed near a camera.” (33:04)

9. Celebrity Divorce and 2000s Reality Shows

(36:34–40:00)

• Recap of Shannon Doherty’s divorce on her deathday and subsequent estate drama.
  • Kelly: “All she wanted was to die a divorced woman.” (37:16)
• Revisiting VH1’s The Surreal Life, Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, and personality hierarchies among “little people” actors.
  • Celebrity “mini-me” Vern Troyer gets his own analysis, compared to Warwick Davis and others.

10. Reality TV, Infamous Sex Tapes

(44:04–49:14)

• Deep dive into the celebrity sex tape phenomenon (“Who was first? Rob Lowe? Pam and Tommy?”)
  • Zac: “Fred Durst… That seemed like he released it himself, though.” (47:51)
  • Joe: “The Kid Rock and Creed sex tape is real.” (44:12)
• Comparing Rock of Love and Flavor of Love contestants for “classiness” (or lack thereof).
• The increasingly trashy nature of reality dating shows through the 2000s.

11. The Bachelor, The Traitors, and Contestant Lore

(51:50–54:04)

• Kelly explains Bachelor contestant Colton Underwood’s “gay and stalker” saga.
• Zac complains about Michael Rapaport’s unlikeability on The Traitors, and how he managed to make Ari Shaffir seem sympathetic.

12. Chinese Woman Ordered to Apologize for Exposing Cheating Husband

(65:14–67:06)

• Wang-like story from China: A woman was forced by a court to apologize for exposing her husband’s affair.
  • Zac: “She turned it around… now she has millions of views.” (66:16)
• Observations on Chinese social media censorship and American hometown Facebook drama.

13. Hometown Facebook Grudges

(67:34–69:39)

• Zac’s infamous Facebook post gloating over a childhood antagonist’s death provokes a deluge of threats from his hometown.
  • “I wrote that guy died. That was it… Oh boy, did I. And then I just went to sleep…” (68:26)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Joe Gorman, on prison food: “I don’t want my tax dollars going to Chef Boyardee.” (12:56)
• Zac Amico, on “Wardenburger”: “Aliens had to make people food, right? This is what it would look like.” (14:20)
• Kelly Taylor, on Happy Meal burgers: “Now it's like an actual…it's like a slider.” (28:44)
• Zac Amico, about past bullies: “I wrote that guy died. That was it. I didn't write hahaha, good. Oh boy, did I. Then I just went to sleep.” (68:26)
• Joe Gorman, on celebrity sex tapes: “A lot of celebrities are also, like… I don't want you to use, like, an accusation that it wasn't consensual or something. So, I filmed every sexual interaction…” (45:12)
• Kelly Taylor, on The Traitors’ Colton Underwood: “…He stalked her, got a burner phone, started texting her crazy stuff, and himself…then came out as gay to clean the slate.” (52:00)
• Zac Amico, on fast food: “If you're eating McDonald's and think it's real food, that's on you.” (17:00)

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Notable Segments & Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment / Discussion | Notes | |------------|-------------------------------------|-------------------------------------------------| | 01:17 | MLK Day riffs | Opening comedy riff on the holiday | | 04:02 | Gym weight attack story | Play-by-play, jokes about weights and injuries | | 12:21 | Ohio’s ‘Wardenburger’ prison food | Analysis, analogies, and mock recipes | | 21:00 | Prison wine & jail food ideas | Recipe brainstorm and how-to video | | 29:38 | Batman/McDonald’s tie-in nostalgia | Movie trivia, toys, and superhero casting | | 44:04 | Reality shows & sex tape genealogy | Wildest and worst celebrity recordings | | 51:50 | The Bachelor/Traitors controversies | Kelly schools Zac on reality TV | | 65:14 | Apology for exposing adulterous spouse | Rare Chinese viral story discussion | | 67:34 | Facebook feuds and local drama | Zac’s “reputation” in his hometown |

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Episode Tone & Style

The vibe is gleefully anarchic, irreverent, and quick-witted. The hosts don’t shy from crossing lines or poking fun at taboo, obscure, or dark topics—sometimes pushing the envelope for shock value. Pop culture references fly fast, with healthy doses of absurdity and self-deprecation. Underneath jokes about burgers and blind TikTokers, themes of class, generational divides, and the absurdity of modern life peek through.

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For New Listeners

Expect a raucous guided tour through strange news, with comedians riffing freely and taking detours through everything from the state of America’s fast food to 90s reality TV and prison entrepreneurship. You’ll finish entertained, if maybe a little scandalized.

Transcript

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[Joe Gorman]

Fill her up.

[Zach Amico]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network. Wake up, it's time to go. Zach Amico's got a show. Animals are here to play joke some guests to start your day Tell the.

[Joe Gorman]

Sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs.

[Zach Amico]

And cook some beef Laughter's waiting, don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky Grab a coffee and join the cre.

[Joe Gorman]

Morning suit.

[Zach Amico]

Well, good morning, good morning, good morning. It is a fine and happy Monday here at the Gas Digital Studios. It's your other boy, the international superstar Zach Amico saying welcome to the zoo. Thank you so much to Shannon and Jorge in the booth making sure things get done. And we are on time and running on schedule today. Happy MLK Day. And for Martin Luther King Day, of course, I have two great guests from the I Feel Fat Today podcast. It's our friend, Kelly Taylor.

[Shannon]

Hello.

[Kelly Taylor]

Thank you for having me. Good morning.

[Zach Amico]

Good morning. And next to her from Super Sally Joes, it's Joe Gorman.

[Joe Gorman]

What's up, Zach? Happy MLK Day, baby.

[Zach Amico]

Happy MLK Day. I hope you guys are celebrating it in a bombastic and wonderful way.

[Joe Gorman]

You better believe it. We're doing what the good doctor would have wanted us to do.

[Zach Amico]

You left menthols out last night. Yeah, menthols out. And messages from other women that weren't his wife.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah, yeah, I'm dating black guys. Just honor him.

[Zach Amico]

God bless.

[Joe Gorman]

I'm wiretapping their phone.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you so much for being here. Guys, let's get plugs right out of the way. Kelly. What do you want people to check out?

[Kelly Taylor]

My love, Please check out my podcast, I Feel Fat Today. We have episodes Every Friday on YouTube. Follow me on Instagram at. Hello, this is Kelly. When I have shows coming up, I post there.

[Shannon]

Thank you.

[Zach Amico]

Excellent, Mr. Gorman.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, my gosh. Well, as always, you can find me online at Joe W. Gorman. I got my podcast I do with Alex Tomasely called Super Celly Joes. Please subscribe on YouTube. Also, in terms of shows February 22nd, you can see me at Rodney's Comedy club in New York. And link for tickets will be in my Instagram bio.

[Zach Amico]

Fantastic. Follow me on Instagram at zackisnotfunny on my dates on Punchup Live. Zackamico. And hey, if you like the show, do me a favor, head over to gasdigital.com today and try out our promo code. Zoo. That's right, Z O O gets you your episodes early ad free and uncensored. You get access to the live chat, the archives, thousands of episodes of all your favorite gas digital shows, and most importantly, our bonus episode on Fridays. That's right. There's three of these a week. And if you want all three, you gotta subscribe. But regardless of how you consume the show, sincerely, thank you and I hope you enjoy the silly shit we do. All right, let's start with this. Jealous girlfriend allegedly throws 25 pound weight at romantic rival's head in wild attack at Texas gym.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, babe can relate to that.

[Zach Amico]

£25. That's probably a deadly weapon.

[Kelly Taylor]

It is a deadly.

[Joe Gorman]

That's not bad. That's a little warm up for your boy, but yeah, it's more than you can look for. I don't think so.

[Zach Amico]

25? Yeah, that's like. What? Like it's a lot.

[Joe Gorman]

It's like half my dick size.

[Zach Amico]

You measure your dick in pounds?

[Joe Gorman]

In pounds? Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

He's British.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, I go to the. I go to the whole Foods and I just plop it in there.

[Kelly Taylor]

H O L e type it in as an onion.

[Zach Amico]

He goes to Costco and he puts in broccoli. But then he gets a PlayStation's worth of Dick. £25. What is that, like an. How much would an iron weigh? Like 10 pounds?

[Joe Gorman]

Iron's about 5 pounds. I'd say 5 pounds super heavy.

[Zach Amico]

So. Yeah, that's 25.

[Joe Gorman]

25 pounds is like. It's like. It's like probably like two bags of groceries. 25 pounds. I'd say.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but then centralize it to a weight. Yeah, that'll kill you.

[Kelly Taylor]

It's like two weeks or three weeks worth of laundry.

[Joe Gorman]

Okay. It's like the size of a. A bag of kitty litter, a medium.

[Zach Amico]

Sized dog, or a five gallon bucket. Okay, then that's perfect.

[Joe Gorman]

Or a small toddler.

[Zach Amico]

Or a 25 pound dumbbell. Thank you.

[Joe Gorman]

Or an Al. That's like an eclectic kind of.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Or a small toddler baby around 9 to 12 months old. Okay. All right, perfect. Shannon, let's see this video.

[Shannon]

It's not. There's no video.

[Zach Amico]

Damn.

[Kelly Taylor]

I was gonna say that they're two.

[Joe Gorman]

Bodybuilder, like, women fighting over it.

[Zach Amico]

All right, well, tell us about it then, Shannon.

[Shannon]

Okay, so. And I can show you a picture of the girl who did it. This is the girl.

[Joe Gorman]

Sure. Oh, Jim Baddy. Yeah. She probably, like, chucked it with some. Some oomph. It went through a. It went through a wall and just had, like, an outline of a dumbbell through it.

[Kelly Taylor]

She did this to a man.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah. No, it sounds like somebody that was sleeping with her, man. Right.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

That's at least like, when you come up to audience members after the show and you're like, he's with me.

[Kelly Taylor]

Get the hell away.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. When they're like, will you please be my boyfriend? And I'm like, absolutely not, Thomas. Sally's in the background anyway, man. I'm like, you just sell the merch, dude. You don't leave that table.

[Zach Amico]

All right, Shannon. Tell us about it, babe.

[Shannon]

So she was at a 24 Hour Fitness in Houston, and she recognized this chick as somebody that her partner was involved with. And she said, I'm gonna drop this 25 pound weight plate on you, and then threw it at her. There isn't. It doesn't seem.

[Zach Amico]

Pause now. That seems premeditated to me.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

And like, a weight plate is when.

[Zach Amico]

You specifically say the name of the weapon you're gonna use.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

When you. When you go, I'm gonna drop this 25 pound. Not. Not that she looked at her side and saw a weight. She went, I want the 25.

[Joe Gorman]

I'm gonna drop it on you. And then she. Instead, she threw it like a ninja turtle with, like, a sewer, like a frisbee.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I assumed she double overhanded.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Like Donkey Kong.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, Like.

[Zach Amico]

Like, no offense, man.

[Kelly Taylor]

The girl was all flat.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah. The shoes just had a head and shoes.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

All right, Shannon.

[Kelly Taylor]

Five stars.

[Shannon]

So I don't know. I don't think that it actually hit the girl at all, because there's nothing talking about injuries or the hospital or anything like that, but she was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

[Zach Amico]

I had a feeling that I was gonna go deadly weapon.

[Shannon]

Pictures of her, if you want to see. This is her after she was arrested.

[Joe Gorman]

Her face is smashed like a pancake, and it has, like, a 25 pound imprint on her forehead.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's probably real jail time, right? That's not probation. Maybe you get one.

[Joe Gorman]

I think I. I think you get one Awful, awful situation. But, man, for. For that guy to be pulling in two baddies simultaneously.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

That's a fucking victory for the boys.

[Zach Amico]

I've never dated two girls who went to the gym.

[Kelly Taylor]

24 hour.

[Zach Amico]

Jesus Christ. Highfalutin.

[Shannon]

It also said that they assume that she was intoxicated during this incident.

[Zach Amico]

Of course she drunk at the gym.

[Kelly Taylor]

That's the thing with 24 hour gyms.

[Shannon]

The judge has prohibited her from using marijuana, possessing any weapons, drinking alcohol, or contacting the victim. And she has to stay 200ft away from 24 Hour Fitness.

[Joe Gorman]

That's inhuman, Joe.

[Kelly Taylor]

Self imposed, that.

[Zach Amico]

No smoke. Yeah, no smoking. Pot's tough.

[Joe Gorman]

That's tough.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah, that's tough, man.

[Zach Amico]

You can't get up or go to the gym.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, come on, you gotta get something. What are you supposed to do, just like, sit in a. This is like solitary confinement.

[Kelly Taylor]

Is that like implying the weed made her aggressive?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I think so. Oh, she's probably drunk and then just also had weed in there.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, they probably tested and she just had like, all kinds of. They found like a vape pen in her car or something like that.

[Kelly Taylor]

I would love to know what time of day this happened at a 24 Hour Fitness. I would bet nothing good happens after midnight.

[Zach Amico]

Late afternoon.

[Kelly Taylor]

Late afternoon, yeah. Go to brunch. And then.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then was like, you know what? I'm gonna go now. I'm gonna go to the. Like, you know, like, sometimes if you're a little up, you're like, oh, I'm gonna do this chore I don't want to do tomorrow so that when I wake up tomorrow, the packages are all in already or whatever. The garbage is out.

[Kelly Taylor]

The boxes are broken down.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

I feel this hangover already brewing. I'm just gonna go on the stairmaster for like 15 minutes and try to sweat the poison out.

[Zach Amico]

There was a girl I went to high school with who was called Truck Face.

[Joe Gorman]

Nice.

[Zach Amico]

She was from Jersey City. I think her real name was Jennifer. We had, like an influx of kids from Jersey City. Like, we got like a bunch of hood kids out of nowhere in high school. And she would drink at school. She's the first girl I ever saw really fight. Oh, she grabbed this girl. It was the first time it was a girl fight that wasn't just like pushing and pulling hair. She grabbed this chick by the weave, twisted it around her fist, and then just started throwing up.

[Kelly Taylor]

Mollywop.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, boy. She beat the shit, dude. She came from Jersey City to show this Seahawk is bitch.

[Kelly Taylor]

Jenny from what up?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah. She was a fucking.

[Joe Gorman]

Damn.

[Zach Amico]

She was a monster. And she got Kicked out. She got suspended for bringing a bottle of vodka in a water bottle to school. Going into the weight room and take. Trying to use two dumbbells and she dropped them right on her head.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, shit.

[Zach Amico]

She literally went like this and then cracked her. Broke her fucking head open.

[Joe Gorman]

Damn. Gotta have a spotter.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, well, she was spotting after that. Yeah, she's seeing him. She was. They called her. She was like, super. She was the first person. Yeah. The first girl ever saw a fight and the first person I ever saw called Gatorade Juice.

[Joe Gorman]

Nice.

[Zach Amico]

She's old school. Hood Spanish.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Damn. Yeah.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That's 5% juice.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. They have to even have a disclaimer like this, not actual juice. Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

She had a co. She was like my introduction to, like, meeting hood people.

[Joe Gorman]

Hell yeah. You never forget your first one.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Kelly Taylor]

You don't mess with Jersey City broads.

[Zach Amico]

She was a tough one.

[Joe Gorman]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

I'm trying because the girl she beat up was one of the first two girls to get tits, which I've brought up many times that any guy can name the girls that grew boobs.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Sasha Monovarde. It's funny every time. I don't know why real names are always funny. Shannon, who is the first girl that grew tense in your high school?

[Shannon]

I do remember her first and last name. I'll just say her first name, though. It was Romina. Bensonhurst, Brooklyn.

[Zach Amico]

Dude. Jorge.

[Joe Gorman]

Kimberly Sanchez.

[Zach Amico]

Dude. Every guy does.

[Kelly Taylor]

That's so funny.

[Shannon]

Every.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, Jorge, who is your guidance counselor? I don't know. See, dude, every time. Every fucking time you get.

[Joe Gorman]

Dude.

[Zach Amico]

Guys can list the first five girls that grew tense. Who is your 10th grade homeroom teacher? Nothing.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Kelly Taylor]

So funny.

[Zach Amico]

All right. Ohio Sheriff defends Nauseating Wardenburger Fed to inmates in solitary confinement. How bad could it be?

[Kelly Taylor]

Like a urinal cake.

[Zach Amico]

I bet it's just really gray meat.

[Joe Gorman]

It looks like one of those Krabby Patties when it's up close and super detailed.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Joe Gorman]

Like, just perfect and pristine.

[Zach Amico]

And listen, if you've already reached solitary confinement, I think you made a few lefts when you should have made a right. And I don't know if you have the right to complain about the food the government gives you.

[Joe Gorman]

There we go. Yeah. I don't want my tax dollars going to Chef Boyardee.

[Zach Amico]

I maybe. Is this. Am I becoming an old conservative?

[Joe Gorman]

I think. I think that's what happened. It's impossible to smoke weed and do podcasts and age gracefully end up becoming.

[Kelly Taylor]

More of a pay off my student loan. So do they.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I really.

[Joe Gorman]

People are too soft today. Not enough people are miserable.

[Zach Amico]

I really just fall, right? Yeah, you just. The. The seat. The seat defines you.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. My dad beat me. I'm gonna beat my kid.

[Kelly Taylor]

I gotta see how bad this burger is.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, let's see the burger and then we'll judge. Shannon.

[Joe Gorman]

What a burger.

[Shannon]

I'm gonna tell you the ingredients first and I'll show you the picture.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Joe Gorman]

Whole beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, sesame seed bun.

[Shannon]

I think that's close. So it is a fiber heavy slop consisting of tomato paste, flour, dry milk, oats, beans, ground turkey, cabbage, carrots, potatoes, onion, celery, garnish with a dash of salt, and then slap between two pieces of white bread. And this is what it looks like.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, damn.

[Shannon]

I feel like that might be the healthiest thing an inmate receives.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, that seems like something like a fitness influencer would be like. Yeah, I actually don't miss hamburgers. I have this. Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Is. Aliens had to make people food, right?

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

To keep us alive.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That I feel like would be. Oh, we'll make patties out of all these things that they need.

[Joe Gorman]

We've. We've analyzed, like, the feces of these. These humans, and we've noticed these ingredients primarily show up in the common diet. So, yeah, we've made something different.

[Zach Amico]

Podcast house. Must eat a lot of blood.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Kelly Taylor]

That looks like what comes out at the very end of the human centipede. Yes. It's just been processed and processed.

[Zach Amico]

It does seem like futuristic almost.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, it does.

[Zach Amico]

Like, like we're not eating to eat. We're eating till I.

[Kelly Taylor]

It's just.

[Joe Gorman]

You know what I didn't see in that list of ingredients that Shannon read? Red dye number five.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's true.

[Joe Gorman]

Partially hydrogenated soybean oil. You know, so it's like they're eating better than I am, man.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. So, yeah, RFK Junior's happy.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. You're fuck. They're gonna keep you alive. They don't gotta keep you happy.

[Joe Gorman]

The guy's got to keep you, like, working because, like, what is. What is the American prison system but industrialized slavery?

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah, of course, you know, I'd rather have a feeding tube.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Yeah. You know, because like, these. These inmates, they have to go on like, those giant hamster wheels for like, six to seven hours a day to power the Internet.

[Zach Amico]

These for profit making license plates, man.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Then I don't know if I was. Yeah, it depends. I'm such. So this is where I Guess my left and right kind of cross. I only feel like that for violent crimes or like if you hurt a kid.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Tax evasion. Fucking smoking weed.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I would even say drug use because I'm. That's as libertarian as I. That's one thing Dave said to me years ago that stuck with me was like, you own your bo you should own them. If there's one thing we inherently own, it's the meat that is our body. So, like, I get selling, maybe, but doing drugs. No. Is my body. I will choose to make my bad decisions as I continue to have done. So. It's the same way. I don't like them, like cap it off, like the sodas and stuff. It's like 100. I'm a goddamn human being. I will make my bad decisions.

[Joe Gorman]

It all started when we started rolling back the super sized menu at McDonald's and Stuff. You could like supersize.

[Kelly Taylor]

False documentary.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That fucking drunk.

[Joe Gorman]

It was like just like a fucking raging.

[Zach Amico]

It's like, my God, you have the liver of a man who drinks nothing but whiskey. And he was like, that's crazy. McDonald's did that.

[Joe Gorman]

I can't believe it. These, these McNuggets, it's like, damn, super.

[Kelly Taylor]

Size is killing me. We watched that in health class.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, everyone did. Well, like, everyone thought it was like real. We didn't question it because, like, we.

[Zach Amico]

Also wanted, like, if you're eating McDonald's at this point and think it's real food, that's on you.

[Kelly Taylor]

I mean, where were we the other day where we're like, we could just go into McDonald's.

[Joe Gorman]

And I was like, we're in Astoria.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah, it's food capital of New York. When you're. When you're there and you're eating it like hot and fresh, it does feel like an exciting, like, delicacy almost. Because it gives you.

[Zach Amico]

Whatever that euphoria, the, the dopamine. Yeah, it definitely gives you dopamine.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

The second the fries are cold, it's just.

[Kelly Taylor]

It's all.

[Zach Amico]

You're going, what am I doing? What am I doing?

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, I'm an addict. I mean, like it's.

[Zach Amico]

And then every few months they do one thing where I'm like, shamrock Shake's back.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, the Shamrock shake. The McRib. They know exactly when to bring everything back.

[Zach Amico]

I feel like they did not bring back the McRib in New York this year.

[Joe Gorman]

Really?

[Zach Amico]

Isn't it usually November?

[Joe Gorman]

I thought it was like in March. They usually bring it back.

[Zach Amico]

I could be wrong. Shannon, get on it.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

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[Kelly Taylor]

I was always freaked out by the McRib.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Now if prisons serve McRib and lock.

[Zach Amico]

Me up, by the way, that burger, in all fairness, little barbecue sauce.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. You put like a sauce on top.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. You can get through that.

[Joe Gorman]

They've shown like the McRib without like the sauce on it. And it looks terrifying. Yeah, terrifying.

[Kelly Taylor]

It's just that. But ladder.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. And so, like, I bet if you put like a nice glaze over that.

[Zach Amico]

Prison burger, I have made myself worse stuff.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh.

[Zach Amico]

100% by my own volition.

[Joe Gorman]

What, what would you want? What do you want? Like gruel, like, like Oliver Twist type.

[Zach Amico]

And no offense, but, like, how much worse is that than a hot dog?

[Kelly Taylor]

True, true.

[Joe Gorman]

Especially like when you like name off the parts in a hot dog and stuff. Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So what? Basically, it's. It's just pro. It's. It's different. It was what, grains, tomato paste, some turkey in there.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. High fiber. Like it's everything your body needs to sustain itself.

[Zach Amico]

It just sounds like it's a puck of stuff to keep you full.

[Joe Gorman]

I say, like, look, you get that most meals out of the prison sentence. If you go a month without raping anyone in the shower, you know, maybe you get, like, a little. You get. You get one cereal of your choice.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, sure. A snack pack.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, there you go.

[Kelly Taylor]

What could be good is if you get, like, a bag of nachos from the commissary, and then you take that Puck burger and then break. And then find some cheese whiz. You got yourself.

[Zach Amico]

You get a walking taco.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yes.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Have you seen, like, those YouTube videos where they're like, this is what I would eat in prison. And they'd explain, like, how they get, like, ramen packets and exchange it for, like, tuna and, like, they cook all that together.

[Zach Amico]

And I've seen them make a deep fryer.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. I've seen them make all kinds of stuff.

[Kelly Taylor]

Geo came on my pod and told me all about what he did or.

[Zach Amico]

How people make, like, burritos, but they make, like, 50, and then they sell them.

[Joe Gorman]

Nice.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah, brilliant.

[Joe Gorman]

There's a whole, like, economy in there.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, do you want. We should make prison wine?

[Kelly Taylor]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

On the show and then ferment it.

[Shannon]

Just keep in the gas. Digital toilet.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

They only keep it in the toilet so that it's hidden. It doesn't need to be in the. The toilet is not part of the making process.

[Shannon]

I feel like we should. We need to try to hide it from Ralph.

[Joe Gorman]

He's like, what are all these tasks doing in the basement?

[Zach Amico]

You think he'll be mad we're making it?

[Shannon]

No, no, I was kidding.

[Zach Amico]

No, we need to hide it from Tom.

[Shannon]

That's true.

[Zach Amico]

Tom will fucking eat the bag.

[Shannon]

No, we should do that.

[Zach Amico]

All right. Yeah. Shannon, get a good recipe for prison wine, and we'll make it. We'll make it a segment on the show.

[Wix Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Kelly Taylor]

It'll be ready for November, and then you can have a potluck.

[Zach Amico]

Well, no, it should be ready for what month that. What is it now?

[Kelly Taylor]

It's January.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

It takes.

[Kelly Taylor]

How long does it take?

[Zach Amico]

Probably takes, like, a month.

[Kelly Taylor]

Oh, Easter, maybe Valentine's Day.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Maybe less. Shannon, bring up a good recipe for prison 1. Get to stuff I used to do. Me and my friends used to do, like, the Bum Bottle of vodka.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And you either put garlic cloves in it or hot Thai peppers, and you leave it in a cabinet for two weeks and you make Bloody Marys with it.

[Kelly Taylor]

Okay, that sounds good. I was, like, disgusted.

[Shannon]

It says three days to two weeks. I found a little short here.

[Zach Amico]

Boom. And Share that, Jorge. Oh, how on Wednesday I want to make prison wine. And we'll. We'll have it in two weeks.

[Joe Gorman]

All right, well, today I'm going to.

[Prison Wine Experimenter]

Show you by trying it out myself. Luckily, I haven't found myself needing to do this, but figured it'd be a fun experiment.

[Zach Amico]

All right, so you got the fruit cups?

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Okay.

[Prison Wine Experimenter]

To make hooch or pruno as they call it.

[Joe Gorman]

I already have that.

[Prison Wine Experimenter]

I am making berries medley by mashing up some things.

[Joe Gorman]

That's pretty good.

[Prison Wine Experimenter]

Cafeteria. Then they add what's called a kicker, which is just a small piece of fruit that's just started to rotate. And while that sounds gross, it's important because it already has a well established colony of wild yeast. In case you don't know, yeast consume sugars and create alcohol. And while all fruit has some level.

[Zach Amico]

Jorge, you can do all this part.

[Prison Wine Experimenter]

The kicker just helps make sure that all the sugar in the fruit mash.

[Shannon]

Will eventually freaking gross.

[Prison Wine Experimenter]

And then I'm just adding some sugar packs. I'm not measuring anything because let's be real, this is prison wine. So to prevent a fruity explosion, there needs to be a way for the gas to escape as you got to.

[Zach Amico]

Put a balloon on.

[Prison Wine Experimenter]

This is achieved by either leaving rubber.

[Zach Amico]

Glove or using something.

[Prison Wine Experimenter]

Something like a rubber glove or balloon or condom. This process is a lot less predictable and could take anywhere from a few days to a few months to ferment. But I'm gonna let this sit, see what happens. So stay tuned for the results. Have you ever wondered how they make.

[Joe Gorman]

All right, well, let's stay tuned for the results. Where's part 2?

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[Zach Amico]

I think this should be a fun experience. Maybe we'll have Derek and Geo on.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah, they can taste prison wine.

[Zach Amico]

We'll do a prison wine taste test.

[Joe Gorman]

Well, let's wait. Let's watch part two. Is he blind in part two? Trying to navigate as an shot of the wall. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Bad news, guys.

[Joe Gorman]

So I went blind. How do I adapt as an influencer with only four of my current senses?

[Zach Amico]

I have a blind influencer. Have you seen the redhead girls? Like, how does a blind girl.

[Joe Gorman]

No, that's not my algorithm.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, there was. She used to be in my algorithm all the time. Like, how does a blind girl make a cup of tea? Oh, and she has like a little device that shows when the tea is like about to hit the edge of the cup and it whistles.

[Kelly Taylor]

Oh, damn, so cool.

[Zach Amico]

And she's got like a reader, basically. And all the shit in her house has labels on it and she can scan it and says what it is. But if I was her husband, I'd be switching those all the time, baby. I would be driving her nuts.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, take that, bitch.

[Kelly Taylor]

There's that gay couple. One of them is blind.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yes. And he's always doing that.

[Joe Gorman]

He's like, I love my beautiful wife.

[Zach Amico]

This is even the one I'm thinking of. But this is the same.

[Joe Gorman]

Another fucking.

[Kelly Taylor]

Make a cup of tea.

[Zach Amico]

If it's not Yorkshire tea, then you.

[Joe Gorman]

Can get in the bin. No need for a kettle, because they are for peasants. Oh, God, that would fucking suck.

[Zach Amico]

To be blind, you can use a.

[Joe Gorman]

Little indicator because they are for blind people. But where's the fun in that?

[Kelly Taylor]

Pouring milk is always the trickiest part.

[Joe Gorman]

So I came up with this ingenious hack.

[Shannon]

It gets the milk perfect every time.

[Kelly Taylor]

I hate that.

[Joe Gorman]

Just don't tell Grant I've been doing this for the last 12 years.

[Zach Amico]

Anyone?

[Kelly Taylor]

That's disgusting.

[Zach Amico]

Ew. You gross blind bitch. Get out of here.

[Joe Gorman]

Make your spot of tea.

[Zach Amico]

How do you make your husband's tea?

[Joe Gorman]

I'm not a fucking baby bird.

[Kelly Taylor]

I hate when people do that when they're like, food influencers will do that. They'll like cut a piece of sausage or something and they'll use their teeth. Ah, it's so gross.

[Joe Gorman]

There you go. They bite into it and they spit the other half for the person. Like, there you go. Can I have the part that's not in your fucking mouth?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, blindy, you gross bitch.

[Joe Gorman]

That's awful. What is happening to Basic human decency. Decency of not being a fucking gross piece of. On film. And I'm saying that looking like this.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

You know.

[Zach Amico]

You know, I'm thinking more about the Warden Burger. And to be honest with you, I don't feel bad at all.

[Joe Gorman]

I think we should make that. You should make that and the prison wine and have, like, a whole feast.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, prison fees.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

We do a spread.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. I'll smuggle some. I'll smuggle some Adderall in up my asshole.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, perfect.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

That's how we're doing it.

[Joe Gorman]

We'll make some shanks and so make a whole, like, arts and crafts thing. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, fuck. That would be. Oh, man. That's the move.

[Kelly Taylor]

Happy Holidays from Gas Digital.

[Zach Amico]

Because, like, honestly, I've gotten some burgers in my life that look that bad.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah, like, when you buy meat from Aldi's.

[Zach Amico]

I got a burger from a Spanish place the other day where I got, like, rice and beans stuff, and they had, like, just burgers. Like, I'll try their burger. It was $4. It was a $4 burger if I've ever had one. And not the. Not a McDouble. I saw somebody the other day take a picture of how much smaller the meat has gotten over the years at fast food places.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And how. Because I always thought. Because it was. I was a little kid, right.

[Kelly Taylor]

It felt bigger and that.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Just like my dad's dick.

[Joe Gorman]

But, like, the Big Mac is like, like smaller.

[Zach Amico]

I remember the meat coming over the bot. Like, I remember the buns barely containing. And now it's like there's this little thing in there.

[Joe Gorman]

I felt like. Like the Big Mac used to, like, have like, a presence, too.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Kelly Taylor]

You know, also, like, if you order a Happy Meal to, like, save some money, like, it used to just be the normal size burger, and now it's like an actual. It's like a slider now.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, the toys suck now, too. Like, that's like the biggest. Dude. What? Like, what? I'm not. I'm not going to fucking play with this thing. Like, what the. Like, they're like now. It's like little, like, decorations. Like, they need to have a fucking.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah, they don't. They used to have or anything.

[Zach Amico]

A Dracula that popped out of the coffin.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

In the dark.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, they used to have, like. It's like, oh, look, it's just a regular hamburger toy. Not. It's actually a Transformer. Look at it open up and become a Transformer.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah.

[Wix Advertiser]

Yeah, dude.

[Joe Gorman]

Or like the fries. That would like more.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Like, the Transformers collaborations were always cool.

[Kelly Taylor]

The Barbie Hot Wheels collab. Fire.

[Zach Amico]

The big one. Well, because they said that's why Tim Burton got fired from Batman Return. Well, yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Did not make the third Batman movie because of how dark Batman Returns was. And I think it was. Was it burger king or McDonald's?

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, McDonald's had, like, all the cups.

[Zach Amico]

Well, no, no, McDonald's had the Batman Forever cups.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yeah. Who had the. Was it Burger King?

[Zach Amico]

I don't know. Whoever had Batman Returns was like, we cannot sell toys based off of this.

[Joe Gorman]

Like, when it was like, Danny DeVito vomiting blood.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Christopher Walken being electrocuted.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

For trying to rape. Let's be honest.

[Joe Gorman]

Come on. Just give me a kiss. That was a powerful scene.

[Zach Amico]

It is crazy that. Because, you know that was supposed to make him into two face, right?

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yeah. They were gonna. Yeah. Because they had.

[Zach Amico]

So when she burns him, they were gonna say he lived and that half of him got burnt. And they were going to turn. Because originally that was going to be Harvey Dent. And then they changed it because Billy Dee Williams had to get paid out anyway when they made Batman Forever because he had it in his contract from the first Batman that if anyone else becomes Harvey Dent, they still have to pay him.

[Kelly Taylor]

I see.

[Zach Amico]

He got paid. And Marlon Wayne's got paid out because he was supposed to be Robin.

[Kelly Taylor]

Damn. Easy. Easy money.

[Joe Gorman]

See, I tell you this all the time, and you're just not paying attention.

[Zach Amico]

No, she still doesn't care.

[Kelly Taylor]

I don't give a. I'm so sorry.

[Zach Amico]

This is now. This is all me.

[Kelly Taylor]

I'm trying.

[Zach Amico]

And then they were going to do Batman Triumphant as number four, and that would have had Jeff Goldblum a scarecrow.

[Joe Gorman]

And they would have had, like, a Jack Nicholson as a Joker cameo.

[Zach Amico]

Well, he's going to get sprayed with the Joker gas and revisit all the villains from the earlier ones.

[Joe Gorman]

God, I love it.

[Kelly Taylor]

I cared about Batman when Robert Pattinson became Batman because I'm a Twilight girl.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. I didn't like. They're too long. I didn't. I just felt like I liked it.

[Joe Gorman]

When Batman was being Batman. Like, I thought the fight choreographer.

[Zach Amico]

I like the fact that he got his ass kicked a little.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, I like that. I didn't mind Patterson as. As Batman.

[Kelly Taylor]

We were watching it, and I was like, does Batman have guns? And you're like, no.

[Zach Amico]

No. That's pretty much this whole thing.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. It's like a cornerstone.

[Zach Amico]

His parents are killed by gun.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know if you've noticed that in all the movies. It's pretty consistent.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Gun ruins his life. That's why. Because me and Mike Lawrence were the kind of nerds that were mad that Batman had a gun in justice, in the Justice League.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. And like, all this Zack Snyder stuff where he was, like, killing. Yeah. Criminals. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I don't care for that.

[Joe Gorman]

No, it was weird. Like, I mean, like, it's like. It's unlike, you know, it's like a lot of guys are like, you know, pro Snyder verse, but it was that. And, like, when Superman killed Zod, I was like, okay, that's a bit much.

[Zach Amico]

And what a waste of Doomsday.

[Joe Gorman]

I know. They all like that. What a waste of, like, Henry Cavill was, like, a decent Superman.

[Zach Amico]

I think we're going to get him as Wolverine.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, I could. That would be a good pivot. You know, it's like something.

[Zach Amico]

He had the cameo.

[Joe Gorman]

He likes all of that because, like, he did Superman, then he did Witcher, and now he's doing, like, Warhammer shit.

[Zach Amico]

Because he did the cameo in Deadpool. Wolverine. I have a feeling we're going to get alternate version because it's not going to be Hugh Jackman forever.

[Joe Gorman]

No, it can't be. I bet they probably got him for, like, another three or four movies.

[Zach Amico]

You know who they wanted to be Wolverine, originally, when they were putting X.

[Joe Gorman]

Men movie together, like, originally in, like, 1999 or earlier than that. Who?

[Zach Amico]

Danzig. Wild, right?

[Joe Gorman]

That would have been fucking cool.

[Zach Amico]

Now, have you seen the Danzig movie?

[Joe Gorman]

No.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, boy, oh, boy. And I know bad movies, buddy.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Danzig stinks at movie, mate.

[Kelly Taylor]

Damn.

[Zach Amico]

Dancing should not be allowed near a camera.

[Joe Gorman]

Damn.

[Kelly Taylor]

Damn. Your barometer for bad movies is something. He really went off the charts on that.

[Zach Amico]

His first movie, Veronica, is based on one of his comic books, is so fucking. I know people that worked on it, and they said they would get to set and he would just be, like, nailing the walls together and, like, you know, somebody else is supposed to, like.

[Kelly Taylor]

You'Re the director, bad at delegating, and.

[Zach Amico]

The cinematographer and the editor and composer. You should probably have somebody else nail the Halloween walls. Like, they're haunted house walls that he just nails to regular flats. One of the. Cause it's an anthology movie. One of the stories is about a monster called the Neck Breaker. It's supposed to be in France. They are very obviously in la, to the point where they go to, like, a movie theater that says Los Angeles movie. And there's a line that's like the monster is called the neck breaker in French. Le neck breaker. And the costume of the neck breaker monster is obviously torn in the crotch.

[Kelly Taylor]

No.

[Zach Amico]

And I know people that worked on it and they went, hey, Glenn, if you look right here, there's a huge tear. You gotta fix her to shoot around it. And he'll do it in post. Didn't touch it. A big ripped up monster suit. Oh, boy. Is that a bad movie. Yeah. And then the new he did another like a western, and it was torturous. There was no music in it. And that's all he can do.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Kelly Taylor]

He's like, I got to get away from that.

[Zach Amico]

It was. It was a fucking. Oh, who was. Oh, the funniest. Oh, who's. One of the guys from SNL had a small cameo and it really made me laugh. The guy that plays drums with Evo. Hey, guys. Today's episode is brought to you by Small Batch Cigars. Simple, fast, small batch. Having cigars in the house is a sign of intelligence, affluence, and class. And Small Batch Cigar knows people like me aren't any of those things. So that's why they give us free shipping on every order, and almost every order comes within two to three days. In the continental United States, it's the most thorough packaging in the industry. It comes with that Boveda pack. So your cigars come super fresh. They have an amazing selection of rare, limited, and hard to find cigars. And you earn 5% rewards points instantly. So head on over to smallbatch cigar.com today. And most people click the new button first to shop. The newest arrivals use our discount code. GAS10.GAS10 to get 10% off that, plus your 5% rewards points. Check it out today, guys. Small batch cigar. Simple, fast, small batch. Let's get back into the show. Oh, he plays drums for a bunch of. He's a drummer.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh. Oh, Fred.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Fred Armisen. Fred Armisen is in like 30 seconds of it. Oh, and I know he was definitely, like, just like visiting someone on set.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Like, hey, you want die real quick in this? Oh, boy. All right, moving on. Shannon Doherty's ex challenges divorce settlement two years after Star's death.

[Kelly Taylor]

I saw that. What a piece of shit.

[Joe Gorman]

Good for him.

[Shannon]

Okay, so it looks like they actually signed the divorce papers on the day that she died, and then the judge signed off on it two days later.

[Joe Gorman]

So it's, it's, it's null and void.

[Zach Amico]

So it was a posthumous divorce.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

Yeah. So, but that, that's what he's using to Try to overturn it. Because, like, there is another guy, Christopher Cortazo. So he's the one that should have her estate. And so he's fighting it because of the timing.

[Kelly Taylor]

I read the headline where someone was quoted saying all she wanted was to die a divorced woman.

[Joe Gorman]

Damn.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Knowing full well she won't get into heaven.

[Zach Amico]

What about. How about live cancer free?

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah, right.

[Zach Amico]

I think that would have been a better shower.

[Kelly Taylor]

Past the point.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Kelly Taylor]

You know, the cancer. But sometimes men can be as bad as cancer, so I'll take it, you know. God, what a piece of.

[Joe Gorman]

She came into this world. My wife. She's leaving it. My wife.

[Zach Amico]

That really. I mean, that is. You have to no longer care what people think about you for you to challenge.

[Kelly Taylor]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Your ex wife's dying wish of money, money, money.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah, more like xx Popular, too. Like, you know, people like Shannon Doherty.

[Shannon]

So also, real quick, Chris Cortazo is a real estate agent, but also her best friend.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. So it wasn't a. A relationship. They weren't not.

[Shannon]

That's. At least that. That's not what was ever brought to light.

[Zach Amico]

It wasn't that fucking not Howard Stern. Howard Stern guy and Nicole's best friend.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then he got her estate and they said. He said they were together.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

And that he was possibly the father or something. Kid.

[Kelly Taylor]

But it's confirmed that he's not the father.

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Kelly Taylor]

Blonde guy.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That was a nightmare. That was because then her son died. Well, her son died first, right?

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah. And then she died of a broken heart because her son died.

[Joe Gorman]

Damn.

[Zach Amico]

What about her lesbian assistant?

[Kelly Taylor]

Oh, I miss her. That was such a good show.

[Zach Amico]

That was prime.

[Kelly Taylor]

And Nicole, she's so outrageous.

[Zach Amico]

That was prime trash.

[Kelly Taylor]

It really was.

[Zach Amico]

Joe, were you a. Like me?

[Joe Gorman]

I just watched Scott Baio is 40 and dating.

[Zach Amico]

That's a little. That's.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah, that was a little later.

[Zach Amico]

That's a little after.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

That was the only thing I ever got into.

[Zach Amico]

I was super into the Surreal Life.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yes. I love the surreal Life.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, one of the most rewardingly bad shows.

[Kelly Taylor]

We were just talking about Bridget Nielsen. Yeah, she was on there.

[Joe Gorman]

Yep. She married Flavor Flav.

[Zach Amico]

Ron Jeremy.

[Joe Gorman]

Ruining his legacy in the middle.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

In the.

[Joe Gorman]

In the. In the throes of it, if anything.

[Zach Amico]

China.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yep.

[Zach Amico]

And of course, just to bring it up, Mini Me. Mini Merch Royer on it.

[Joe Gorman]

Well, he would just get. He got wasted. You get like wasted. And he had like a little Rascal. It was like an RC car.

[Zach Amico]

Can we watch? Very short peeing in the corner on.

[Kelly Taylor]

His raspberry hot wheels. Oh, my God, that was so funny.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, he really just had the Austin Powers movie. He never. He thought he was going to be, like, a breakout star, like Peter Dinklage.

[Zach Amico]

There is another movie he's in Harlan Williams. What's the space movie Harlan Williams is in?

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, Rocket Man.

[Zach Amico]

He's the monkey when the monkey's not in the spacesuit.

[Kelly Taylor]

That's so funny.

[Zach Amico]

I believe he's a couple little. He's little people in a few things. Because my chick, before we watch My chick and I were trying to figure out the higher the little person hierarchy. It's obviously Dink up top. I would say 1A Warwick Davis.

[Kelly Taylor]

I feel like.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, I think Warwick Davis is cooler.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah. I feel like he's more noble. The elder. Right.

[Joe Gorman]

I would say the little guy.

[Zach Amico]

Would he be S tier and then.

[Kelly Taylor]

I think is 8 at A. I think so.

[Joe Gorman]

There were a surprising amount of little people in the Seinfeld show.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Like the bearded guy that did scenes with Kramer.

[Zach Amico]

Phil La Fonda. No, no, I'm thinking of the other one. So.

[Joe Gorman]

But he also. He was also in that. Because he was also in Bad Santa. Yes, yes, yes.

[Zach Amico]

No, that's. Tony Cox is the black midget.

[Joe Gorman]

Okay. Who was also in Bad Santa.

[Zach Amico]

Santa. Then you have we man.

[Joe Gorman]

Okay.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Jackass.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Vern Troyer goes up there, and then the one I go with is Shank. You look up real quick. Phil lafonda. I want to say it's La F O N D A. He's. Whenever you see him in a movie, you go, oh, yeah, the other one.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

He looks like a tiny Lionel Richie.

[Joe Gorman]

And what about the greatest little person ever? And our personal friend Brad Williams.

[Zach Amico]

Brad Williams goes on. I put Brad Williams at a solid B. Yeah. So not Dink, but I put Brad Williams. And We Man.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Adjacent. Shan. Did I get that name right?

[Shannon]

I don't think so. What was he from?

[Joe Gorman]

Troll.

[Zach Amico]

Troll. I think he was on Sabrina the Teenage Witch. He's in a ton of Full Moon movies. But anyway, he's also like. What is that?

[Shannon]

I'm looking it up, but it's Phil Fonda Caro.

[Zach Amico]

That's Phil Fonda Caro. Thank you. Then when you see him, you're gonna go, oh, that's the other.

[Shannon]

Yeah, that's the one. Hold on.

[Zach Amico]

He looks like he should be on Full House.

[Shannon]

There you go. Yeah, that was her cousin in Sabrina the T.J. witch. Yeah.

[Kelly Taylor]

Oh, that's right.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that one. He's the troll and troll.

[Kelly Taylor]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

And a bunch. He's in a ton of Full Moon movies. He's got, like, a deep resume.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, Bordello of blood. That's right.

[Zach Amico]

Because when you look up, all these little people, actors, they were all Ewoks, dude.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

It's like they scoured the earth for midgets.

[Joe Gorman]

Nice. Every single one.

[Zach Amico]

And they're like, you're. You're a teddy bear in this life before.

[Joe Gorman]

You're gonna be like, we're gonna. And you're gonna wear, like, this hot, uncomfortable teddy bear suit while we're in, like, just, like, the forest area in the summer. Just.

[Zach Amico]

Yep. Getting the teddy bear.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

All right. Can we watch Mini Me? The corner?

[Shannon]

He's cool.

[Joe Gorman]

He looks like a little mini Vin Diesel right there.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Minivan.

[Shannon]

I'm not sure if you can actually see him, P. It says drunk and crash.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. I think he starts pissing around here.

[Kelly Taylor]

How much did he have to. To drink to get to that level?

[Joe Gorman]

About a thimble.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Is that Dennis Rodman?

[Zach Amico]

Coolio.

[Kelly Taylor]

Joe cannot place famous people ever.

[Joe Gorman]

Like, look out.

[Zach Amico]

Does it look like he's going to fall in?

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, it's like a. Like a Roadrunner type thing where he goes through and, like, Coolio's like, wait a minute. I'll go.

[Zach Amico]

He goes through and then Coolio smashes behind him. There was one where he's just pissing at the Queen.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Wix Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

And that. That's when, like, all the tabloids are like, oh, is this the new party animal in Hollywood? It's like, no.

[Zach Amico]

He had a sex tape.

[Kelly Taylor]

He did?

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Is that the worst one is him or Fred Durst?

[Kelly Taylor]

Oh, there's a lot of bad ones.

[Joe Gorman]

There's the Kid Rock and lead singer of Creed sex tape.

[Zach Amico]

You're lying to me.

[Joe Gorman]

No, I swear to God. Shannon, pull it up.

[Kelly Taylor]

Creed has a sex tape.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. The lead singer of Creed and Kid Rock had a sex and a girl. Yeah. With, like, a woman.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. I don't believe you. How have I never heard of this?

[Joe Gorman]

Hand to God. Scott Strap Stap Staff.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, he uses a staff on Staff Infection. Shannon. Have you heard of that?

[Shannon]

No. So far I see that Scott Stapp filed a lawsuit to block the release of a sex video involving himself, Kid Rock, and four women.

[Zach Amico]

Son of a bitch.

[Kelly Taylor]

He really is a rock star. That's amazing.

[Zach Amico]

Son of a. There had to be so much blow there.

[Kelly Taylor]

Oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

Holy shit. Well, God bless.

[Kelly Taylor]

I just love that there's, like. Who thought to take out the video camera? Like, we have to Document.

[Zach Amico]

It's probably like Kid Rock.

[Joe Gorman]

A lot of celebrities are also, like. I don't want you to use, like, an accusation that it wasn't consensual or something. So I filmed every sexual interaction I've had with everyone.

[Zach Amico]

All right, so what's the sex tape genealogy? We'll go back. So I guess the first ones that were famous were the guy from. Fuck. He was like a game show host.

[Joe Gorman]

I thought the first one was because, you know, Thomas Edison released the video. Like, the first one is him just, like, aggressively jerking off into the camera. And he had a bunch of people and they all ran out of the room because they thought he was actually jerking off.

[Zach Amico]

Maybe his Famous People was the first one. I remember Hogan's Heroes, the guy was from. I think. And he had sexy. But Rob Lowe.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, that's right. Rob Lowe had. It was like, those are prostitutes, weren't they?

[Zach Amico]

I think they might have been under.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, that's. Oh, God. Yeah. Because, like, he had to step away for a while.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Kelly Taylor]

Now he's back, baby.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. They had to let. He had to do, like, a little bit of a career reset. No, it was. It was Hugh Grant that had the process. It was the prostitute, and it was Elizabeth Hurley at the time. You're like, why are you doing.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So Rob Lowe was big then. I guess it's all tape trading at the time.

[Joe Gorman]

I mean, like, you give.

[Zach Amico]

Is it Pam after that.

[Joe Gorman]

The Pam. The Pam Anderson one was like, Pam and Tommy.

[Zach Amico]

But then there was Pam and Brett Michaels.

[Joe Gorman]

And there was also a Tanya Harding.

[Zach Amico]

Tanya. Yes. Tape. And then you go Kardashian. No, Paris was first.

[Joe Gorman]

Paris was first.

[Zach Amico]

I had Paris on DVD one night in Paris.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Because she, like, answered the phone in the middle of sucking his dick. Yeah, I remember that one.

[Zach Amico]

Hulk Hogan.

[Joe Gorman]

Hulk Hogan had the sex. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Hogan. Am I missing anybody? Oh, R. Kelly.

[Kelly Taylor]

R. Kelly.

[Shannon]

I mean, Dustin Diamond.

[Zach Amico]

Dustin Diamond. Gross.

[Joe Gorman]

Dustin Diamond. It wasn't. It was.

[Zach Amico]

I don't think it counts as they.

[Joe Gorman]

Release it because it was, like, a producer.

[Kelly Taylor]

Exactly.

[Zach Amico]

And that's Abraham. Doesn't count.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Because that's James Dean. I know. I've seen him too much.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Wait a minute.

[Shannon]

Gene Simmons.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Damn.

[Zach Amico]

Am I missing anybody then?

[Shannon]

Did you say Colin Farrell?

[Zach Amico]

No, I didn't know there was a Colin Farrell.

[Kelly Taylor]

Well, Ray J was with Kim.

[Zach Amico]

Huh?

[Kelly Taylor]

Right?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then there, at the time, Ray.

[Joe Gorman]

J was bigger, too.

[Kelly Taylor]

Oh, yeah. He was very popular.

[Zach Amico]

And then I feel like, who? Somebody. Another rapper chick. I don't know. Okay. Did we miss anybody? Big Shannon.

[Shannon]

Fred Durst. Did you say him?

[Zach Amico]

Yep. I remember that one. That seemed like he released it himself, though.

[Joe Gorman]

Just like no one. He released it. No one cared.

[Zach Amico]

And then the rumor was Chelsea Handler, but that was just a funny prank.

[Kelly Taylor]

She would.

[Zach Amico]

Well, in her old reel that she would send to people, she had put in, like she was recording over it. And it was a shot of her getting from behind, like, fake. But it looked like. Yeah, they had accidentally edited some of her sex tape into her reel. And it, like, didn't show that she was, like, holding her boobs with the guy behind her.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah, that's amazing.

[Zach Amico]

But it was very funny.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Trying to get any ideas, bae?

[Zach Amico]

Hey, listen. And if it is, it's Verne Troyer.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That's got to be tough to be the chick in the Verne Troyer video.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, man.

[Kelly Taylor]

But, you know, luckily not. I don't remember, you know, but now.

[Zach Amico]

The girl who was less classy. Rock of Love or Flavor Love.

[Kelly Taylor]

Well, that I don't know.

[Joe Gorman]

Flavor of Love.

[Kelly Taylor]

No.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Because nobody on the floor in Rock A Love.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yes. Yeah, but I felt like.

[Zach Amico]

I felt Rock A Love was pretty.

[Joe Gorman]

Porn heavy, but I feel like Rock of Love. Like, those girls really did love him, though.

[Kelly Taylor]

He was ruin all of them. Like, I don't think Flav was.

[Joe Gorman]

I feel like Flavor of Love. People were like, oh, this is just a fun little thing.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

But I think Rock of Love, they were actually trying.

[Kelly Taylor]

And I think.

[Zach Amico]

And he was married, wasn't he?

[Joe Gorman]

He was like. No. I think it was like he had, like this, like, long term girlfriend, but he's like, we ain't nothing official type shit, you know?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, because I don't think any of it's. I don't think Flavor really dated any of them.

[Joe Gorman]

Not really.

[Kelly Taylor]

No.

[Joe Gorman]

I mean, his heart belonged to Bridget.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, of course.

[Joe Gorman]

Come on. He could never. He could never love again.

[Zach Amico]

Hey, guys. Today's show is brought to you by you Kratom, home of the $60 kilo. Guys, there's only one place on earth to be getting your Kratom from, and it's yocratum. Com. If you don't use Kratom, don't start on my account. But if you do stop going to smoke shops, gas stations, places like that, and getting a little bit of Kratom at a time when you get a whole kilo delivered right to your door for just 60 bucks. Yo. Kratom has the best strains, the best customer service, and they're the marquee sponsor of everything we do here. And there's no promo code needed. Why? It's already the best deal in the world to Kratom. Check it out today, guys. Yeah. Kratom.com Home of the $60 kilo. Let's get back into the show, dude. Rocky and Flavor Flav. That's a fucking. That's a resume.

[Kelly Taylor]

So good. What's funny about Rock of Love's run? There were multiple seasons of both of them. But then Bret Michaels had the Tour Bus 1, which is like, we're going on the road and I have to date all these women on the road. And those girls were trashy at those beat the. The rock of love on the road girls. Way trashier than any of them.

[Zach Amico]

I feel like as those shows progressed.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

They got increasingly bottom of the barrel women.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Like some of the top, like the first season, like they were like, you know, I'm a mom.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Some of them did porn. Some of them did porn, but some of them were civilians. Yeah, dude, I just watched a clip of. I think it was Big Brother UK with. Do you know about this? With David Bowie's wife. So I guess David. But one of David Bowie's partners was in the house.

[Kelly Taylor]

Oh, I did see this. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But then was it David Sadat? There's a famous David that was on the show and he was an older guy and he was sick and they were trying to tell David Bowie's ex wife that he died.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But they just heard David died and they thought the guy on the show dropped dead. And it was New York Tiffany Pollard from Flavor Love flipping the fuck out because she thinks it's a dead body.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah, I love her.

[Zach Amico]

Are you guys watching Traitors?

[Joe Gorman]

Of course Kelly is.

[Zach Amico]

I'm an episode behind.

[Kelly Taylor]

Oh, okay. What do you think about the whole. Do you know all about Colton Underwoods lore?

[Zach Amico]

No. Tell to me.

[Kelly Taylor]

So he is on Traders right now. He was on the Bachelor as the Bachelor and actually later on came out as gay. And so he's like a fully gay man now.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, good.

[Kelly Taylor]

But after he like he picked the girl on the Bachelor. I didn't watch the season or anything, but I know all of this. So I guess they had a breakup or something. He stalked her and then did that thing where he would got like a burner phone and would text her like crazy stuff and texted himself crazy stuff as well. Like that mom from that.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah. And he put a tracker on her car too. So everyone was just like, oh. And so he came out as gay after all of that to like, kind of like clean the slate.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kelly Taylor]

And now spacey. Yeah, the space.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, the spacey defense to the spacey maneuver.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah. And I guess, you know, so now that he's on Traders, it's like more and more people are talking about it, and it's coming out more and. Yeah. I don't know.

[Zach Amico]

I want to look that up. Thank you very much. Yeah, for sure, dude. The second I knew Ron Funches was on it, I was so in.

[Kelly Taylor]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yeah.

[Kelly Taylor]

I don't like the way they're treating my boy.

[Zach Amico]

I don't like that. I mean, do you know how unlikable Michael Rappaport has to be that he punched Ari Shafir and people took Ari's side?

[Kelly Taylor]

Michael Rapaport looks like he's wearing a mask of himself.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Kelly Taylor]

Like.

[Zach Amico]

Like the idea. And I say this as someone who greatly respects and admires Ari. He's a sociopath.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Kelly Taylor]

It's hard to take his side.

[Zach Amico]

It's very difficult to have sympathy for Ari, a man who has just gone through his life causing chaos. And when Michael hit her out, when Rap Port hit him, everybody was like, what a dick.

[Kelly Taylor]

What did he hit him over?

[Zach Amico]

I think Ari brought up his domestic violence charges.

[Kelly Taylor]

To have that be brought up and then hit somebody.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Is not a good sign. Now I understand why he's always got that burn on his lip. That's not herpes. That's how he eats.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

The bowls on the Shannon. That's driving me nuts.

[Kelly Taylor]

It's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

Michael Rappaport eating is my new least favorite thing.

[Joe Gorman]

It was like he eats like a child. Like a bowl of soup. Like, he was, like, eating. Like, he would eat soup.

[Zach Amico]

It was shant. You know what we're talking about.

[Shannon]

Yes, I do, because I can't stand human beings that eat in such a way.

[Zach Amico]

In such a way. You know? That's something.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

In such a way. Well, that's how Trump drinks water, too.

[Joe Gorman]

That dude.

[Zach Amico]

That's crazy.

[Joe Gorman]

That's insane.

[Shannon]

Like a prison inmate.

[Zach Amico]

He's chewing.

[Kelly Taylor]

He has a wife.

[Joe Gorman]

It's like. It's like, good Lord. It's like he was, like, held hostage by Hamas for an unknown amount of.

[Zach Amico]

Time and finally got chewing the plate. That's bananas.

[Joe Gorman]

So wild.

[Zach Amico]

I hate him.

[Kelly Taylor]

He acts in a way where, like, I. I start to feel bad because there's so much to. To just rag on him for, but I just.

[Zach Amico]

I guess maybe it's strategy.

[Kelly Taylor]

No, that strategy. That is exactly who he is. Like, how he kept harping on the shield thing.

[Zach Amico]

And it's like they were having a completely different conversation.

[Kelly Taylor]

And, like, I just thought we were.

[Zach Amico]

Gonna have a meeting about my. The shield. Cause maybe I deserved. I think. Dude, I asked, what do you want for breakfast?

[Kelly Taylor]

All of the people in the. On the show are like, is this a strategy? Like, we'd. Is he a traitor? Because this is insane. No, that's. He's just a fucking annoying, like, yenta. Like, he's just so annoying.

[Zach Amico]

Yenta was much nicer than what I was gonna say. I was gonna say Zionist scum. But, hey, tomato, tomato, potato, pancake, potato. All right, so I frequently get fooled by the Internet, as we've learned on the show, that I. Man, I am a sucker. And so here's what fooled Zach this week. Mia Khalifa dating Rowan Atkinson.

[Joe Gorman]

I saw that photo. I could only wish.

[Kelly Taylor]

He should be so lucky.

[Zach Amico]

You know what? I had to look it up. I had a snow. Now I snopes it before I send it to Shannon. And I had to get it.

[Joe Gorman]

But it's. It was just too fun. I was like, it's not real because it's too fucking funny. Just the idea of, like, Mia Khalifa just, like, showing her asshole. And then Mr. Is like.

[Zach Amico]

He said, ace. Yes, sir. Okay, first of all, Rowan Atkinson rules.

[Shannon]

He.

[Joe Gorman]

I love.

[Zach Amico]

He is a baller. If he has. I believe I could be wrong. The world's largest collection of Jaguars was the car. The car.

[Kelly Taylor]

Not.

[Zach Amico]

Not the. Not the cat.

[Kelly Taylor]

He's not mister.

[Joe Gorman]

And there's only, like, 12 episodes of Mr. Bean. Like, it was like, well, what is.

[Zach Amico]

There, like, six episodes of Black Adder?

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, something like that. It's like. Yeah, it's not. It's just. It's just so. Like, there wasn't an ounce of fat in any of the six, so, like, everything is just so good and timeless.

[Zach Amico]

I like, because he also. He does the British pronunciation of Jaguar.

[Joe Gorman]

Jaguar.

[Zach Amico]

I drove a Jaguar. So it's just goofy as Mr. B and being like, I have the world's largest collection of Jaguars.

[Joe Gorman]

He was also the voice of Zazu in the Lion King.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, thank you.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, it's like. So it's like, yeah, he's got money. Yeah, it's. It's also. It's like, oh, he. He has, like, a good voice. It's just. His most famous role is, ironically enough, him.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Just doing, like, you know, body.

[Kelly Taylor]

Charlie Chaplin, his.

[Zach Amico]

Can you look up Shannon? Rowan Atkinson, drumming.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Have you ever seen this?

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, he's fucking good.

[Zach Amico]

He. I guess you would call it clowning.

[Joe Gorman]

Well, I mean, it's like the same with Pee Wee Herman. Well, to go back earlier with Fred Armiston, it's like a lot of it is rhythm, so that translates well to comedy too. A lot of it's like timing, being able to keep rhythm and. And you know, being able to concentrate and build.

[Zach Amico]

You know, he does this like us. This drumming mind bit that is so like.

[Joe Gorman]

Yes, yes.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can. Yeah. Halfway through it.

[Kelly Taylor]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

It's just so simple.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

And like anyone can understand it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it's. That's enough. That's why I think Mr. Bean's so popular. Like, not that they speak a different language, but like hood people be like, oh, Mr. Bean, that's funny. As.

[Joe Gorman]

It also like just his expressions too. He just has like, funny. His eyes are very good at expressing things.

[Zach Amico]

I will argue Rat Race is a much funnier movie than it is given credit for.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, it's a very good.

[Zach Amico]

If it did not end with all be the third movie that year to end with Smash Mouth playing all star.

[Joe Gorman]

But you know what? It. It's even better now.

[Zach Amico]

Now it's very funny. It's also like that they crash a.

[Joe Gorman]

Smash Mouth concert and like, no, no spoiler alerts. But like, I feel like the ending is like the best possible ending to that type of movie too. It so good. And it was. I don't know. God damn. I want to watch Rat Race now. Talking about the original. No, we don't. Yeah, we can watch the good one with Seth Green.

[Zach Amico]

No, the original is. It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world. Right, okay. There's a bunch of good people in the. In Rat Race, it was also like.

[Joe Gorman]

Cannonball Run was similar to that kind of dude.

[Zach Amico]

John. John Lovitz crashing the fucking Hitler car into the World War II thing.

[Joe Gorman]

That's when I first heard the term prairie dogging.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, I'm.

[Joe Gorman]

Dad, you got to hurry. I'm prairie dogging over here.

[Zach Amico]

That is a good movie.

[Joe Gorman]

It's a great one. Yeah. Well, just. And then like that one character, he got his tongue pierced so he didn't have any lines throughout the entire movie.

[Zach Amico]

It's like Baron Haltz, right?

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

One of. There's two Baron Haltz's, right? Ike and another one. I think they were both on mad tv. Oh, yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Fuck.

[Zach Amico]

Like he appeal Aramad tv.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, yeah. Like that second way, that's like there's the mad era that you think of with like Artie Lang and like Nicole Sullivan and like Yo, Lamar and And then like, it kind of went away and then it came back a little bit. It kind of got that. And then it was like Bobby Lee and. And Brian Callan.

[Zach Amico]

Will Sasso.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, we'll say.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah, that was the era I watched.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Who? Dude, some mad TVs guys. I can't like, dude, Ms. Swan would not fly.

[Joe Gorman]

No, Ms. Swan, I, I think. What, what is it the boy, Kevin. What's his name?

[Zach Amico]

Stewart.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Stuart I feel like would be.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, Stewart was very similar, I feel like to Mike Myers. Hyperactive kid.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Simon.

[Zach Amico]

No, no, Simon was the British kid.

[Joe Gorman]

That would be tied up to the. And then like, try to run as.

[Zach Amico]

Far as my mom says, I can't have chocolate.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Which is like.

[Zach Amico]

It was him and Nicole Kidman.

[Joe Gorman]

They wouldn't be able to make fucking sketches. You know, not to sound like all boomery again, but like when you compare like the sketch from like the 90s to a sketch now, I mean, there's.

[Zach Amico]

That's my white mama.

[Joe Gorman]

Don't make me break my foot off in your ass.

[Zach Amico]

Have you ever seen Artie tell about the Good Will Smith sketch he pitched? I don't know, Shannon, I'm so sorry. It's him on Stern and he says, we pitch. And I think Norm's on it. He goes, we pitched this sketch called Good Will Smith. Dude, this makes me laugh so hard because the thought that he even had a pitch it. And then I remember who wrote on that show, which means he pitched this to Patton and David Cross.

[Kelly Taylor]

Oh my God. Amazing.

[Zach Amico]

In like their most like we are San Francisco comic kind of like. Or you know, whatever. Like Chad, you know, what was your thing? Goodwill Smith. How'd that one go? I was just, you know, on mad tv they would often. Right. Like parody. I pitched a thing called Good Will Smith. Good Will Smith. He worked at an all black college. And you know, the, the, the, the problem on the blackboard that Arkansas was two plus two. Then Will Smith plays a janitor who puts a four. And they go, who. Who saw Bill? It took us. Took the professors eight years to make it. This one. This is the best part. They rejected it.

[Joe Gorman]

They said it was like. Just, Just the way.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, he said it was like racist or whatever.

[Joe Gorman]

He's like, yeah. I don't know. Something about it being. It's like. I don't know why. I love it. Oh, God damn.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, they did a great. Was it. Didn't they do the Die Hard meets Woody Allen?

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, I haven't heard. I didn't see that.

[Zach Amico]

It was like Woody Allen has to like stop, like in the middle of a recital or something. They did a. They did like a brutal Woody Allen scout.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, wow. That's awesome. They had some. Yeah, there's really good things in mad.

[Zach Amico]

TV looking back on. Is this it? Let's do it. Somewhere in the heart of Manhattan or Thanksgiving break, an exclusive girls School housing 300 Daughters of the world's most powerful leaders is taken over by a team of practical international terrorists. Dude, this is insane.

[Joe Gorman]

Get on the floor, please. Brian Callan, baby, watch out. Brian Callan tells you to do something, you do it.

[Zach Amico]

What they didn't expect was LV Melish, the clarinet teacher. Just want to. Hands up and down on the shaft. That's David Herman, right?

[Joe Gorman]

I think so.

[Zach Amico]

The guy that was Michael Bolton in Office Space.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yeah, great. Bruce Willis.

[Zach Amico]

Welcome to the party. Crying misdemeanors and pain. So funny. They've got him cornered but not outwitted.

[Joe Gorman]

You didn't expect to stop us, did you?

[Prison Wine Experimenter]

Jew? Did you say Jew?

[Zach Amico]

I distinctly heard you say Jew.

[Kelly Taylor]

I'm surrounded by a bunch of anti.

[Zach Amico]

Semitic, neo Nazi, Euro trash, ponytail wearing terrorists here. But it wouldn't give her a large sock of horsemen. All right, thank you, Chad. I just.

[Joe Gorman]

That goes on for 10 more minutes.

[Zach Amico]

Yes. All right, we're going to end on this. Woman forced to publicly apologize to cheating husband becomes social media sensation. Shannon.

[Joe Gorman]

Finally some justice.

[Shannon]

So this happened in China. A woman discovered that her husband was cheating on her with a female colleague for the last five years.

[Zach Amico]

Did he know?

[Shannon]

Did he know he was cheating on her?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, maybe he thought it was kind.

[Joe Gorman]

Of the same one.

[Shannon]

She took revenge on both of them by exposing their affair online, along with evidence she had gathered against them, as well as their names and personal information on social media. It was her way of blowing off steam. But her actions had repercussions. The husband and mistress, who were all. The mistress is also married, filed a defamation lawsuit against her and won. And as part of the ruling, a judge ordered the cheated on woman to publicly apologize to her husband and his lover for 15 consecutive days.

[Zach Amico]

Hell yeah.

[Shannon]

So she had to post it online, but she turned it around and she includes in some of the clips how he wasn't paying for child support and the things that she bought for the girl. And now she has millions and millions of views on Instagram to. Who is laughing now?

[Zach Amico]

Probably nobody. Sounds like Chinese.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, Chinese.

[Kelly Taylor]

It does sound like a deeply American story.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it does.

[Joe Gorman]

Do you even have shit on? Like, can you even like have Instagram in China, I thought they, they outlaw.

[Shannon]

It's a different, it's a different thing that they call it.

[Zach Amico]

Oh yeah, because it's like, yeah, they don't, they're not on Facebook either, right?

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

My friend just got back from China, he's like, sorry, I gotta delete Instagram off my phone for a month.

[Kelly Taylor]

Crazy.

[Zach Amico]

He was touring, he's like, yeah, if they open up my phone and constant see I have Facebook, it's gonna be a bunch of shit. So I gotta delete all this shit off my phone.

[Kelly Taylor]

Nuts.

[Joe Gorman]

Damn. Fuck that.

[Zach Amico]

He also had a, he's a wrestler. He had a wrestle in jeans and a long sleeve T shirt with gloves because he has tattoos.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh shit.

[Kelly Taylor]

Oh shit. Man. I couldn't imagine not having the Facebook app on my phone. I decompressed by seeing the hometown fights. Oh yeah, I live for the hometown Facebook group. I'm getting into fights there all the time. He asked me why I'm all riled up and I'm like, I'm fighting these idiots.

[Zach Amico]

I've been blocked by the vast majority of the people from my hometown that disagreed with me either for just hard opinions I have like, don't murder black people in the street like animals. Or okay, one time was on me. One time. I really earned it. I got a bunch of people to block me. A guy who, let's say antagonized me growing up, he was a couple years older but really just always had fucking shit. Always shit talked me. One time in the morning I was walking somewhere and he followed me with his car throwing shit and pretend like he was going to run me over. He died and I posted like.

[Kelly Taylor]

Hell gained another angel.

[Zach Amico]

No, it was like when I was growing up, this guy used to fuck with me every day. Belittle me, call me homophobic, slurs, you know, one time to the point where he acted like he was going to run me over and was throwing shit at me on his car and I just wrote that guy died. That was it. I write, hahaha, good. Oh boy, did I. And then I just went to sleep. Mistake.

[Kelly Taylor]

It's like Kathy Griffin with the Trump head.

[Zach Amico]

Oh dude, I woke up to fucking death threats, you know, because apparently they all were getting back from the funeral.

[Kelly Taylor]

When I posted it and they were all wasted.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Kelly Taylor]

Piss drunk after the repass.

[Zach Amico]

And I wrote back, hey, if, you know, like if, if you're that confident that that's who this is, that's also on you.

[Kelly Taylor]

Yeah, you stand by that guy.

[Zach Amico]

But yeah, it was a bunch of shit, like people threatening to set my house on fire and stuff. And then I believe I said something along the lines of I would tell you to go fuck your dead friend in the mouth, but the corner soda Shutter Eddie really lost a lot of. Yeah, yeah, that'll do it. What are you gonna do?

[Joe Gorman]

It's your hometown, dude. You don't want to be a. I'd.

[Kelly Taylor]

Rather them block me.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, you don't want to be a hometown hero.

[Zach Amico]

And it's like. It's not that I'm opposed to having people in my social media who I disagree with. I totally. But I also just don't want to, like, engage with the dumbest human beings I ever met just because we popped out of our mom's pussies in the.

[Joe Gorman]

Same town zip code on our first driver's license.

[Kelly Taylor]

Big deal.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, jokes on them. I've never had a driver's license. All right, I think we're gonna call it there. Thank you so much to my wonderful guests Joe Gorman and Kelly Taylor. Please listen to Super Sally Joe's Please listen to I feel fat today. And thank you guys so much. We will be back on Wednesday here on the Morning Zoo. Goodbye.

[Joe Gorman]

Noon is morning time to him Pop.

[Zach Amico]

Bagel, church it down just like your favorite ob a coffee and join the crew. It's a Miko morning too. It's a Miko morning too.

[Kelly Taylor]

Ever see an idea so clearly in your head but struggle to find the time to get it all done? Wix helps you go from eh, I'll get to it.

[Joe Gorman]

2.

[Kelly Taylor]

Done. Build a full site just by describing your idea. Let an AI agent handle daily tasks. Plan your next marketing campaign or help out customers so you can grow your business the way you want without it taking over your life. Try it [e-mail].