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Brandon Collins
Fill her up.
Shane Torres
You're listening to the gas digital network.
Intro/Outro Announcer
Wake up, it's time to go. Zach Amico's got a show Animals are here to play Jokes and guests to start your day Tell the sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs and cook some beef Laughter's waiting, don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky Grab a coffee and join the cre. It's Acamiko morning, too. Wake up, wake up. Wake up. Wake up, wake up.
Zach Amico
There we go. I got you, babe. I got you, baby. Okay, campers, rise and shine. And don't forget your booties. Cause it's cold out there.
Shane Torres
It's cold out there every day. What is this, Miami Beach?
Zach Amico
Hardly. And you know you can expect hazardous travel later today with that, you know, that blizzard thing.
Shane Torres
Oh, that blizzard thing. That blizzard thing. Oh, well, here's the report. The National Weather Service is calling for a big blizzard thing.
Zach Amico
They are. But you know, there's another reason why today is especially exciting.
Shane Torres
Especially cold.
Zach Amico
Especially cold.
Shane Torres
Okay.
Zach Amico
But the big question on everybody's lips.
Shane Torres
Yeah, their chap lips.
Zach Amico
On their chap lips. Right.
Shane Torres
Lips.
Zach Amico
Do you think Bill's gonna come out and see a shadow?
Shane Torres
Punks. A tawny film.
Zach Amico
That's right, woodchuck chuckers. It's Groundhog Day. All right. Welcome to the Morning Zoo. It's your other boy, the international superstar Zach Amico saying welcome to the Morning Zoo. And yes, Punxsutawney Phil has predicted six more weeks of winter. Yeah, it means nothing. Yeah, it's just. It's nothing. It's a rodent pees on a man.
Brandon Collins
I mean, It's. What's it, 24 7?
Zach Amico
Yeah, it's. It's absolutely gross out 365. But I have two guests keeping it hot in here. From the Coastal Idiots podcast, it is our good friend, Shane Torres. How you doing, buddy?
Shane Torres
Hey, buddy. Good to be back.
Zach Amico
Good to have you, man. An absolute pleasure as well. Another pleasure from the Medium Popcorn podcast. This is our friend, Brandon Collins. How you doing, dog?
Brandon Collins
Hey, what's up, little biscuits?
Zach Amico
Oh, man.
Shane Torres
Little biscuits.
Brandon Collins
That's what we say on Medium PodCard. I call our fans Little Biscuits and sun dried tomatoes. Don't ask me why I like it has nothing to do with it.
Zach Amico
I call mine Zoo Files, so that's probably way better. Thank you guys for being here. Let's.
Shane Torres
Go so many terrible ways. Yeah.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Shane Torres
You don't even know.
Zach Amico
Let's knock plugs out of the way. Brandon. What are you people to check out, buddy?
Brandon Collins
Yeah, I Got a drum. Black History Tour. It's a Black History Month. 100 years of it, actually. And so I'm all over the country. New York, Austin, Newark, all the hospitals. Boston. Yeah, yeah, L.A. so drunkbykishy.com, bristol, Tennessee, Mississippi, and yeah, drunkbuykishi.com and then fertile blackens on Instagram and threads.
Zach Amico
Fantastic. Mr. Torres.
Shane Torres
Check out the Pod Coastal Idiots comes out every Tuesday. And you can also have a new special coming out later this year, so keep an eye out for that. And www.punchup.live. shane Torres for all your Shane Torres needs.
Zach Amico
Fantastic. Check me out on Instagram at zackisnotfunny. Punch up that live Zachamico for all my dates. Looking like we're gonna be in Atlantic City at the Tropicana in May two nights in a row. Very excited about that. And more importantly, if you love the show, head on over to gasdigital.com today. Use my promo code. Zoo. Get yourself a little bit of money off your subscription. Get yourself your episodes early ad free and uncensored. Get the archives, thousands of hours of all your favorite guest shows from over the years, as well as the live chat and most importantly, our Friday bonus episode. That's right. We do three of these a week, and if you want all three, you gotta subscribe. But regardless, thank you for consuming the show. However, you do tell a friend, a co worker, or somebody else, and thank you very much for listening. All right, this is the morning Zoo. We love animal stories. And a man in Oyster Bay has been cited after being pulled over with an interesting menagerie in his car. And I thought I would watch you guys see this in real time.
Shane Torres
This is always my favorite part of the show. That's a horrifying YouTube clip.
Zach Amico
It's not horrifying as much as it is just surprising. Okay, one of those.
Brandon Collins
I like a good surprise.
Zach Amico
One of those. Didn't see that one coming, Shannon. No, I'm trying. Oh, my God. Look at her.
Brandon Collins
Oh, that's so cute. Oh, that's so cute. Sloths and kangaroos.
Zach Amico
So, Shan, do we have any story what this guy was, where he was going? Were they private pets?
Shannon
They don't know that yet. The only thing is that, so in this area, Oyster Bay, you know, it's against the law to have these exotic species, but there isn't any. It says they've reached out to him for comment, but they don't have any information as to why.
Brandon Collins
Yeah, he's not gonna incriminate himself.
Zach Amico
He's like you know, I would assume he's dealing with.
Intro/Outro Announcer
Yeah.
Shane Torres
Animals.
Brandon Collins
Yeah. You're not just driving around Oyster Bay with a kangaroo.
Zach Amico
It's like taking my kangaroo for a ride.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Brandon Collins
That's wild.
Shane Torres
Dude. They're so used to all this snow up here.
Zach Amico
Yeah. They can't live, can they? I don't.
Shane Torres
I'm sure they can live.
Brandon Collins
They can live.
Zach Amico
Like.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Brandon Collins
Different climates and stuff. Not for, like. I think long term, like, you're not going to. You know, I think they would probably.
Shane Torres
Be more likely to, like, starve or something because they don't know how to do it.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Shane Torres
Than like, it being too harsh.
Zach Amico
Yeah. The sloth, I feel like, might have a tough time.
Shane Torres
Yeah. Don't they do nothing anyways.
Brandon Collins
But they have all that fur, though.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Brandon Collins
So they might be able to survive.
Zach Amico
And I think their claws are surprisingly scary.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Intro/Outro Announcer
Yeah.
Shane Torres
They're tough, but aren't sauce. Like, don't they never move?
Zach Amico
Right.
Shane Torres
And that, like, their thing.
Intro/Outro Announcer
Yeah.
Zach Amico
They take.
Shane Torres
That's like, maybe they're well suited for a winter if they're just not going to, like, burn any calories or do anything.
Brandon Collins
I think a sloth would definitely survive better than a kangaroo. Probably in the streets a little.
Shane Torres
In Oyster Bay. Well, yeah.
Brandon Collins
Also, like, the kangaroo is going to be bouncing around the street. Someone's going to shoot that fucker.
Zach Amico
Like, that's. Yeah. You know what I mean?
Shane Torres
Someone will. Yeah.
Zach Amico
And I feel like the kangaroo would have a tough time in South America because people are gonna say Chupacabra and shoot it. I feel like woods and jerseys are gonna say Jersey Devil and shoot it.
Brandon Collins
Yeah.
Shane Torres
Is the Jersey Devil kind of like the El Chupacabra of the Northeast?
Zach Amico
The Jersey. Yeah. We grew up. That was, like, the thing. It was in the Pine Barrens. What's the Jersey Devil?
Shane Torres
What does this look like?
Zach Amico
Oddly like a kangaroo.
Intro/Outro Announcer
Has.
Shane Torres
No wonder this guy's not telling if.
Zach Amico
I'm saying it right. Shannon, if you want to bring up a drawing in the Jersey Devil, I want to say.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Cloven hooves.
Brandon Collins
Oh, wow.
Zach Amico
Bat wings, horse head and little arms. So I wanted. Yeah. Kangaroo is.
Shane Torres
Cloven hooves, bat wings.
Brandon Collins
And someone wasn't a bad acid trip.
Zach Amico
When they drew that, you know, it's what I did.
Shane Torres
He's pretty disturbing.
Brandon Collins
Yeah. That's wild.
Zach Amico
Yeah. There's sightings of it for years, but that.
Shane Torres
Who the hockey team was named after.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Shane Torres
Oh, really?
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Brandon Collins
Jersey's nuts, man.
Zach Amico
I had K.P. burke has a history podcast here. What's K.P. show called, Shannon?
Shannon
American Loser.
Zach Amico
American Loser. We did a whole episode about the Jersey Devil. Basically, it was a smear campaign by whoever was it who did the encyclopedia, the Farmers Almanac.
Brandon Collins
Okay.
Zach Amico
They basically have beef with the Farmers Almanac. Somebody started another one, got it. And they were feuding. And I think it was Ben Franklin made up the Jersey Devil story as a. A joke about the other guy who ran the almanac because all the names in it are named after his family.
Brandon Collins
Got it.
Zach Amico
When you go over the legend of.
Shane Torres
It, God, what a time. People were even dumber than they are now. To just be like. I bet they'll believe that. Like, just to be a little bit smarter than everyone back then.
Brandon Collins
I mean, pettiness has no fucking limits. I mean, think about, like, you know, what was it? Sly Stallone and Richard Gere. He's the one that started that whole rumor about the gerbil.
Zach Amico
I didn't know that.
Brandon Collins
Yeah, he was just like. They didn't get along. So he's like, oh, yeah. You know, he puts gerbils up his ass. And that's what the Richard Gere crazy rumor started.
Zach Amico
Well, what were the big ones when we were. It was Richard Gere, gerbil, Rod Stewart, stomach pumped.
Shane Torres
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
Marilyn Manson. Rib.
Shane Torres
Marilyn Manson.
Brandon Collins
Michael Jackson, Alien.
Zach Amico
I never got that one.
Brandon Collins
I heard that one all the time as a kid. What else?
Zach Amico
I know when he did his cameo in Men in Black too, he's like, I need to be a man. They wanted him to be an alien. He's like, no, I need to be a man in black.
Brandon Collins
But I remember the barrel, too.
Zach Amico
Yes, he. Is he in two or three?
Brandon Collins
I think he might be in two. I think he's in two. Because I watched one.
Zach Amico
They like, okay. Yeah. They cut to a bunch of agents and he's okay.
Shane Torres
It's like a.
Zach Amico
All right. Yeah. It's like a quick. It's a very awesome Power Z cameo.
Brandon Collins
Or like Donald Trump and Hot and like, Home Alone 2. And it's like very quick, very different.
Shane Torres
Yeah, yeah. Yes.
Zach Amico
Donald Trump. I don't know if you guys know this, and I. I don't talk about T Bird a lot on the show because I don't. I don't wanna.
Brandon Collins
I don't wanna.
Zach Amico
I don't want to divide my audience.
Shane Torres
The Pontiac.
Brandon Collins
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
Pontiac's a little more Obama.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Zach Amico
If your parents used to say what.
Shane Torres
Pontiac is, well, which way did Michigan go?
Zach Amico
When you used to film on Trump properties, one of the things you had to do was include him.
Brandon Collins
Yes. Yeah.
Zach Amico
And a character had to call him Mr. Trump. It didn't have to go in the movie, but you had to film it.
Brandon Collins
Interesting.
Zach Amico
So there's tons of movies with cut. Donald Trump cameos, I believe, including Scent of a Woman where he has a scene with Pacino.
Brandon Collins
Well, I think that wasn't really devil's advocate because they filmed. It is his place.
Zach Amico
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brandon Collins
So, yeah.
Shane Torres
Oh, like Trump Tower.
Brandon Collins
Yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
I think anything filmed in his property for a certain amount of time, he.
Shane Torres
Had to be in it.
Zach Amico
It was basically a way for him to just get his dick sucked for the day and get a market.
Shane Torres
Yeah, My.
Zach Amico
You know, he wanted to be on the call sheet. He wanted the. The hullabalo, but go ahead, please.
Shane Torres
So I. I met this guy who was in a musical on Broadway and.
Brandon Collins
Shout out to your friend.
Shane Torres
Yeah. And he. There was like an interactive part where he talked to you. And Trump came to the show and every. This was well before he was president. They brought him on stage and he came out and he waved, and then he just hung out in the back the whole time and talked to everyone. Like he wouldn't. Like the show was now about him because he got brought on stage. Yeah, yeah. You know, it was like he just.
Brandon Collins
Needs someone in the audience. Like, Rick got weird.
Zach Amico
The end of Rent is they all just get evicted. A new cast of rich white people walk on after intervention.
Brandon Collins
It turns out they were squatting a Trump Tower the whole time.
Zach Amico
Shannon, what were you about to bring up?
Shannon
Compilation of Donald Trump cameos.
Zach Amico
Yes.
Shane Torres
Oh, thank you.
Zach Amico
It's a pleasure to introduce Mr. And Mrs. Donald Trump.
Brandon Collins
I see a monster.
Intro/Outro Announcer
Right?
Brandon Collins
This is the one.
Zach Amico
Mysteriously buried on his property with no autopsy. Oh, my God.
Shane Torres
Oh, hey.
Zach Amico
Donald told me you were here. You look great. Thank you very much.
Brandon Collins
Elizabeth Berkeley.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Brandon Collins
Jesus Christ.
Zach Amico
So listen, are you begging her?
Shannon
Elizabeth Hurley.
Zach Amico
Are you Hurley? Yeah. No, no, we. We just met. We'll call me Liz.
Shane Torres
Oh, I'm having deja vu. This is so weird.
Zach Amico
It's weird before. So let me tell you that first income I've gotten that's not been garnisheed by the bank of Margot.
Brandon Collins
I hope you have a good lawyer, donald.
Zach Amico
Listen, it's 50 cents.
Shane Torres
You know what's funny about these last two is, like, his affinity for models.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Shane Torres
And then they're like, Liz Berkeley.
Zach Amico
Elizabeth Hurley.
Shane Torres
Hurley, sorry.
Zach Amico
And Samantha, a Cosmopolitan. And Donald Trump. You just don't get more New York than that.
Shane Torres
Look at this.
Zach Amico
Right here on the street.
Shane Torres
It's Donald Trump.
Zach Amico
What are you, morons? They have to say his name. It's so funny. It's like Poochie.
Shane Torres
Not exactly, no. We just came to a mutual understanding that she couldn't bear me for another second. Randall Donald. Mr. Trump here wrote the art of the deal.
Brandon Collins
That's hilarious.
Intro/Outro Announcer
Wow.
Shannon
Hi, Tommy.
Brandon Collins
Dude, Brad dress is still hot.
Zach Amico
Still banging.
Brandon Collins
She's still so hot.
Shane Torres
President.
Brandon Collins
She's batshit crazy.
Zach Amico
Yeah. Oh, what am I talking about? All you handsome zillionaires know each other.
Shane Torres
Donald, this is.
Brandon Collins
How do you do?
Shane Torres
How he is going to crash and burn and take his clients with him.
Zach Amico
It's crazy how much more there is.
Shane Torres
There's just insane.
Brandon Collins
And he's wearing the same outfit.
Zach Amico
I mean, I mean that's brand again.
Shane Torres
How long is going to be? I have checks sitting on two tables.
Brandon Collins
Every time I see this ator, I think of the Sopranos when he. Christopher kills him.
Shane Torres
Oh, yeah. Usual table. Oh, I forgot. Yeah.
Brandon Collins
Whoopi's like a business. She like runs a company.
Shane Torres
Sorry, Frank, but I'm gonna go crash.
Zach Amico
And run with Cuddy. Call me. I remember.
Brandon Collins
He's the father.
Intro/Outro Announcer
Yeah.
Shane Torres
Is this the movie?
Zach Amico
Yeah, yeah.
Brandon Collins
It's terrible. It's really bad.
Shane Torres
There was a rumor that the kid who went to the elementary school next to my middle school when this came out was. He was. He was in it. He was like spanky or whatever.
Brandon Collins
Oh.
Shane Torres
And he just like mercilessly like everyone's just like, you know, just beat the out of it and stuff. You're like thinking better than me because he was a little rascal.
Zach Amico
I did a Nickelodeon commercial when I was in grammar school and it was non stop.
Shane Torres
That had to be brutal torture.
Zach Amico
It was. And I tried to find your role in the Nicolette.
Shane Torres
What did you do?
Zach Amico
I've tried to find it. I can't find it. I have it on tape somewhere in my mom's house.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And it'll have to be a mini DV that I record. You know like you used to put the little tape in the tape that went in the vcr.
Shane Torres
I have like a camcorder tape that went into this.
Zach Amico
Yeah, I have one of those.
Shane Torres
Of it somewhere.
Zach Amico
Of it somewhere. Because I taped like a six hour block when I knew it was going to be on. And it was Nickelodeon Smell O Vision.
Brandon Collins
Wow.
Zach Amico
And they gave out cards and when you watch the show, give a number and it was a scratch and sniff and you could smell the show. Yeah, it's an old John Waters bit. And in the thing it was me and all kids, but I was the lead in it. So I'm in dead center and we're in a gym with a coach and he's getting us to work our scratch and sniff finger.
Shane Torres
Oh, man, this is painful.
Zach Amico
The next day, years, the kids just would do it to me in the hallway. I would. People be like, hey, somebody told me.
Shane Torres
To do this to you.
Zach Amico
What is that? Like, it got to the point where people didn't even know.
Shane Torres
She just became part of the zeitgeist.
Zach Amico
The zeitgeist was made to make fun. Which by the way, to this day, it was just one of those, like, he's different.
Shane Torres
Yeah, yeah, yeah, he did it.
Zach Amico
He's ambitious.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Brandon Collins
He's got gumption.
Zach Amico
He's got a dream. Hey, guys. This episode is brought to you by our good friends at prize picks. The big game is almost here. You know the big game I'm talking about? I can't say it, but you know in your beautiful little mind, what big game I'm talking about? And there's no better way to cash in than our friends at prize picks, where it always feels good to be right. Close the season out right with prize picks by getting $50 instantly in lineups when you play your first $5. Guys, I am not smart and I am at making all the best picks, but prize picks now lets you see your friends lineup so you can send them your picks or copy and paste their picks into your lineup. They also know I have early payouts. Cash out your winnings before the game even finishes. Download the prize pick app today and use the code Zoo to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That's right, guys, that's Code Zoo to get $50 in lineups AFTER you play your first $5 lineup. Prize picks. Cause it's good to be right.
Shane Torres
My friend went to like elementary school or middle school with Leonardo dicaprio. And after he had his first big shot on growing pains, they said everybody in school would just walk around him and be like, oh, I'm Leonardo dicaprio.
Brandon Collins
He's like, it's not even creative.
Shane Torres
At least you're just like, there's a finger fucking joke. Or, you know, like there's some kind of.
Brandon Collins
You gotta be careful with that though. Cause sometimes you meet the celebrity later on, like Michael B. Jordan. Like, he met this chick that used to tease him in high school. She was like interviewing him on a red carpet. He's like, oh, yeah, I remember you. She's like, he's like, used to tease me. She's like, oh, no, that wasn't me. He's like. Like, it was like. It became like a viral moment.
Shane Torres
See, the one of Tracy Morgan, this homeless dude comes up.
Zach Amico
You can bring it. So that guy, I guess, was a comic for years. What I've read.
Shane Torres
Oh, really?
Zach Amico
And Tracy has given him money when.
Shane Torres
That guy came up.
Zach Amico
And that guy, I guess, is like an old timey, like, Harlem comic. He's homeless now.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And he has shown up to Tracy. Shit. Before.
Shane Torres
And done it again and again and done it. So it was. It was a little like. The way it's framed is a little.
Zach Amico
More the way it's framed. It makes it look like a homeless guy asked Tracy for money.
Shane Torres
Yeah. And then Tracy's like, I remember you. Fuck you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
But it is. I think Tracy has given you bring it up.
Shane Torres
Don't talk to me like I owe you something.
Zach Amico
Can I get something, please?
Shane Torres
No.
Zach Amico
Yeah, but I'm homeless, boy. I got it.
Shane Torres
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brandon Collins
I know. I know people that.
Shane Torres
It's tough, but.
Brandon Collins
Yeah. Do y' all know people that are, like, in very bad situations, whether they're financially or what have you. And they're like. They blame everyone but themselves.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Zach Amico
There's one common denominator.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Every time.
Shane Torres
Yeah. Yeah.
Zach Amico
Well, there's not.
Shane Torres
Like, the people who, like, will make use of your help. You kind of know it a lot of the time.
Brandon Collins
Yeah.
Shane Torres
Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, there's always like. There's like. It's like, well, maybe this guy's a. Like, I know he's a bit of a drunk, but he's not a bad person. And maybe he's like, so. Or whatever. But there's a few people. You're just like, if I give it to him, oh, nothing is fixed.
Zach Amico
I always call it. It's a give a mouse a cookie situation.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Zach Amico
You are now opening yourself to more favors.
Brandon Collins
Yes.
Intro/Outro Announcer
Yeah.
Shane Torres
It doesn't stop. Yeah.
Zach Amico
Yeah. My wife's got family like that.
Shane Torres
Oh, really?
Zach Amico
That are. Yeah.
Brandon Collins
That's the worst, man. It's family. Because then it's like, you can't tell, you know, your wife what to do. Like, you. All you can do is give, like, advice.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Brandon Collins
And stuff. But, like.
Shane Torres
Oh.
Brandon Collins
When you're.
Shane Torres
When you're the person next to them. Yeah.
Brandon Collins
Because my wife's the same thing. Has, like, family that's always, like, you know, handouts and, like, asking for support. And it's like, it's never reciprocated. They never call her to be like, hey, how are you doing? It's Always like, I'm DEFCON 5. Like, I need fucking every. All you got.
Zach Amico
Anyway, I'm really hoping nobody in my wife's family watches this one. It's to the point, like, the level of, like, dirt Irish Brooklyn people that she comes from. I mean, like, dude, I thought I was garbage.
Brandon Collins
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And I met some of my wife's family. One of them called everybody in the family saying that they were all going to Disney and that they were going to book the trip and was bilking people for money and then just never booked the trip. That level of, like.
Shane Torres
I got to say, though, man, that's despicable shit.
Brandon Collins
Yeah.
Shane Torres
Yes. Super despicable. But if that person is calling you and they're saying, I'm going to plan the trip, that person's never the one who's the planner.
Zach Amico
Everyone in my life but her has deleted this person, and I refuse to let her, because this person's social media is my joy.
Shane Torres
Hey, I got a couple of those in my family, too, dude.
Zach Amico
She one of those just. You know when people have no boundaries.
Brandon Collins
Yeah.
Intro/Outro Announcer
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And they treat Facebook like no one's reading it.
Brandon Collins
Oh, no. Yeah.
Shane Torres
Like, also, so little of it is red. What is really crazy is when a person like that post and then you read the comments.
Zach Amico
Yes.
Shane Torres
That shit. You're just like, oh, my God. There's more of it.
Zach Amico
When you go on a deep dive into other people's drama. Yeah.
Intro/Outro Announcer
Oh.
Zach Amico
And it doesn't affect you at all.
Shane Torres
Oh, God.
Zach Amico
It's luxurious.
Shane Torres
It's like eating a bunch of licorice first thing in the morning. I'm not getting this shit out of.
Brandon Collins
My teeth all day. That's wild. Wait, are we talking red licorice, black licorice?
Shane Torres
It's just hot tamales.
Zach Amico
I will say Australian licorice. That's how good it is.
Shane Torres
Australian licorice. I don't even.
Zach Amico
Australian licorice kicks.
Shane Torres
Is it Paul Thomas Anderson?
Zach Amico
No, no, it's. I swear to God, it's a. It's. You get it at the airport. Yeah. Australia Licorice Kicks Ass.
Brandon Collins
The sequel to licorice.
Zach Amico
Yeah. She's got a family member and.
Brandon Collins
Okay.
Zach Amico
I'm trying to. I mean, it's. So there's no way for me to describe the situation without outing the person, but they. I would say they've had their proclivities in the past.
Brandon Collins
Okay.
Zach Amico
And they had a child.
Shane Torres
Oh, yeah.
Zach Amico
Who. Who has flippers?
Shane Torres
Flippers.
Brandon Collins
What?
Zach Amico
Flippers.
Brandon Collins
Like, flippers. Like, their hands are different.
Zach Amico
Yeah, no, they're. They have Just Flipper. They don't have hands. Oh, there's no. There's nothing. Or there's like, maybe one.
Brandon Collins
Like, they're like the real life penguin from Batman. Yeah.
Zach Amico
They got like. Yeah. Like that kind of thing going on.
Brandon Collins
No.
Zach Amico
And she complained that. And he's like, young, like 10, 11. How she found dick pics on his cell phone on Facebook. Well, his grandma did, because he lives with the grandma, but she found it. And all I was thinking was, like, the ingenuity, dude, of this kid to take Flipper dick pics.
Brandon Collins
Hilarious.
Zach Amico
I'm impressed.
Brandon Collins
I will say the.
Zach Amico
But she put it on Facebook. Like, you know, like the way you.
Shane Torres
Would put, like, just blasted in public. Like, she just.
Zach Amico
The way you would be like, ugh, I got a ticket today.
Brandon Collins
His Flipper dick pics. That's wild. I mean, it's embarrassing.
Shane Torres
It's a crazy thing to do to that kid.
Brandon Collins
Yeah.
Zach Amico
It's because I made two movies in Niagara Falls. The New York side. Yeah. And I'm still friends with a ton of people that were background people in it.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And it is just a dude. It's like reading the police blotter. Just like, my ex boyfriend broke down my door last night and the cops were here and they said, I can't get a restraining order for 48 hours.
Shane Torres
Oh, God. You know what's even better is when somebody gets in the comments and they're like, sticking up for the other person.
Zach Amico
Oh, yeah, he's just having a rough time.
Shane Torres
Oh, that is high. You're just like. She's like, that's not how it happened at all. You could go and they'll put their address, like, come over.
Zach Amico
Somebody with his last name starts commenting.
Shane Torres
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then you go to their page and you're like, oh, it's his son.
Brandon Collins
You know, Bobby loves you more than life itself. Come on.
Zach Amico
Oh, it is my joy of all.
Shane Torres
I don't know how people air shit out like that. Like, it's always disgusting on social media when people give. I get a little release. I get it. Posting a grieving thing. Or I'm. Yeah, it just happens.
Brandon Collins
But that's the.
Shane Torres
But some people, I'm just like, fucking cap this. Well, this is like an emotional BP spill.
Brandon Collins
You know, that's what people do for therapy.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Brandon Collins
Supplement. Like, because they can't, you know, for whatever reason. So they just vent on Facebook. I know so many older people that just like, post about their day. Like, it's a diary.
Zach Amico
It's like, dude, hood, like Spanish Harlem, Bronx dudes. Post on Facebook like they are 12 year old girls. The way they air their drama. They have no filter and no sense of this makes me look weird as shit.
Brandon Collins
Well, that's how you know they're not doing anything. Because if you had an actual job, like yeah, people could google that shit.
Zach Amico
And then you're done.
Brandon Collins
You know, I mean like it's insane but.
Zach Amico
Oh, dude, the. The drama of like a hardcore ghetto drama. Beauty.
Brandon Collins
That's how get arrested too. Because they be posted their crimes online.
Shane Torres
That is nuts.
Brandon Collins
Hilarious.
Shane Torres
I've never thought of like myself as a overly intelligent person, but like putting my crime in a documented place. Like that was a guy like I.
Brandon Collins
Watched like this docu series. This guy was like posting about how to hacking a. Like I don't know if it was credit card machines or something like that. He was teaching people to codes for the coding to be able to break into machines and. And he was just posting it on like Tick Tock and like.
Zach Amico
Or we had that in the Anarchist Cookbook growing up. I don't know if you guys.
Shane Torres
I mean I remember I never read it, but I knew it and like it would have like this is how you make dynamite or whatever. Kind of what we would do is.
Zach Amico
We would hack vending machine. I mean a very me crime.
Shane Torres
Yeah. Oh, I didn't. Was this what like hot salt water down.
Zach Amico
No, no. So it was the buttons on the front of the old soda machines where it would be like, you know, like just a big block that said Pepsi. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Shane Torres
They're the rectangles and they're.
Zach Amico
Yeah, the big rectangles. Yeah, those were numbered.
Shane Torres
It was like a sugar water version of Simon.
Zach Amico
Yes, but those are numbered.
Brandon Collins
Yeah.
Zach Amico
So if you hit the right number.
Shane Torres
Oh, that's how you open it. It's like a pin code.
Zach Amico
The how to reset the prices. So you. I. It was like, you know, it was like a list but you had to do it. And then it would be like edit mode.
Brandon Collins
Yeah, there's codes for everything. Like I watched this movie called the Luckiest man in America or something. Paul Walter Hauser. And it's about him like.
Shane Torres
Oh, the, the game show.
Brandon Collins
Yeah, he does the game show and he's able to crack the pattern. So he just starts baking money and they're freaking out backstage like we're going to go fucking destitution. Like we need to stop.
Shane Torres
Yeah, he just remembers the pattern, the timing on it. Everything.
Brandon Collins
Yeah, yeah, everything has.
Zach Amico
That's his autism coming online.
Shane Torres
There's a little bit there's for sure. A little bit.
Zach Amico
That's the same with the perfect bid. The. The Price is Right guy.
Brandon Collins
Which one was that?
Zach Amico
So there's a guy and he played Price Right and he fucking annihilated. But he was definitely like, no question. Like, that's beyond the spectrum.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Zach Amico
He loved prices Right. He would go. Because you, you just show up and you might get paid.
Shane Torres
Yeah. You might get picked. And you like, you wait in line or whatever else. Yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
And he watched every day and had an Excel sheet.
Brandon Collins
Oh, yeah.
Zach Amico
Of the everything. And he.
Shane Torres
What a great amount of discipline. No, these guys don't get enough credit.
Zach Amico
Oh, no, this is brilliant. This is weaponizing.
Shane Torres
If they did this into push ups, they'd be super soldiers.
Zach Amico
And he would. He made a Price is Right home game on his computer.
Brandon Collins
Oh, shit.
Zach Amico
So he would just run prices all day.
Shannon
I have the trailer if you want to see.
Shane Torres
Yeah. Oh, God, yes, I want to see it.
Zach Amico
I'm surprised you guys haven't seen this. All of my name tags.
Shane Torres
Oh, it's a doc.
Zach Amico
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty sure it was 37 altogether. So one week I got into like watching Prices rights from like 1973. The same refrigerator freezer is on four different episodes that I watched and it was $789 all four times. I'm like, well, see, there it is. There's proof. Oh, he was a math teacher too. Start tracking prices.
Shane Torres
Good for you.
Zach Amico
Records.
Brandon Collins
I love that.
Zach Amico
Wow.
Intro/Outro Announcer
Yeah.
Zach Amico
So this is the program he made at home. It's just sad that people don't know the whole story.
Brandon Collins
They got him looking evil, though.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Shane Torres
So did they. Like, they're accusing him of like some kind of fraud or something for.
Zach Amico
So what would happen is he wouldn't get picked, but he'd still be in the audience. And you know how the audience can help you.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Zach Amico
People just went, oh, everybody listen to that. It was like a stretch where people that would go a lot would be like, listen to him.
Shane Torres
Yeah, he knows it every time.
Zach Amico
And he would just carry people through, through everything.
Intro/Outro Announcer
Wow.
Zach Amico
To the penny. Because they would just start looking at.
Shane Torres
They were costing everybody a lot. Yeah.
Zach Amico
So they're just losing their asses on this. Taking a beating. That's. And eventually they're like, I, I think they were like, just somebody pick. Because once you go up, you're.
Shane Torres
You can't play for like a year or whatever.
Zach Amico
I think it's long. It might be like 10 years.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Oh, wow. Damn. So I think they were like out of here.
Shane Torres
Like also just Plan it be like that fridge at789. 788. You know he's going to pick it.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Shane Torres
So, like, let him telegraph his punch a little bit and like. Yeah, sorry.
Zach Amico
So they pick him and he just. Yeah, he just fucking sweeps it.
Shane Torres
Yeah. I can't believe they. They didn't. They didn't fix the prices. If he. They knew he knew the prices.
Zach Amico
So that's the thing. I. As we've learned recently, I got a little trouble with celebrity chefs for spreading a few. Spreading a few porkies about how celebrity chef shows work. I thought sous chefs did a lot of the work, and I was wrong.
Shane Torres
Oh, really? Were you actually wrong?
Zach Amico
Oh, I was wrong. Oh, yeah. Oh, boy. Yeah.
Shane Torres
What happened?
Zach Amico
I said it on. They clipped it. It was. I talk about it last week a little.
Shane Torres
So I'll do it quick.
Zach Amico
But yeah, I said I was. I did an episode of this or I was like, oh, I had heard that on those shows, like, there's a sous chef remaking what you do, and that's what's on camera. Just something I heard that I must have assumed into truth in my brain, you know how well they do. Yeah, yeah, I can see how you got there.
Brandon Collins
But chefs do have, like, culinary designers and stuff. If, like, you're a certain level, like Bobby Flav or something like that, you do have a team that, like, curates designs and how you're supposed to put stuff together.
Zach Amico
Well, however I worded it was incorrect.
Brandon Collins
Okay.
Zach Amico
Because my comments lit up really, with all check mark chefs.
Shane Torres
Really?
Zach Amico
Dude, Andrew Zimmerman fucking ate my ass a lot.
Shane Torres
Well, he's the one who eats the weird food, right? Yes.
Brandon Collins
I mean, that must have been pleasurable.
Zach Amico
Paragraph of vitriol. This is the biggest load of bullshit I've ever seen in the history of the Internet.
Shane Torres
That's being a bit hyperbolic, I'm sure. But I can't.
Zach Amico
And they just came for me, dude.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Oh, yeah. What an asshole. He doesn't know.
Shane Torres
You said that they have somebody else plate the food and put it out.
Zach Amico
Or that it could be a recreation. Yeah, but because of game show laws, you have to do everything fair if there's money being awarded. And if they find out that you are tampering, it could like fuck up the whole.
Brandon Collins
Yeah, the FCC and stuff like that will get all your. Well, it's supposed to get all your actions.
Zach Amico
So I think that's the reason a.
Shane Torres
Rigged game essentially, is what they're saying.
Zach Amico
So that's why I think with prices. Right. They can't, like, if those are the numbers on file.
Shane Torres
I see, yeah.
Brandon Collins
Remember? So I listened to that story like the movie with Paul Walter Hauser and stuff. So they really did try to fuck with him. Like, and it's like a whole thing. They don't show the episode anymore. CBS never airs it. And they did all these mind games with him to throw him off because they couldn't, like you said, they couldn't rig like the game itself in real time. It's, it's, it's all picata. Well, all these games are.
Shane Torres
I have. Well, it's not my story, but. Do you guys know Josh Androski? You know who he is?
Brandon Collins
No.
Shane Torres
He's a comic from la. But he was on Price is Right. He has an amazing episode of this American Life for his birthday. He grew up in la. For his birthday he went to the prices right on mushrooms.
Zach Amico
Oh, awesome.
Shane Torres
Yeah. And like even with a bunch of people and they called him and he went down and it's like, you can see some of the footage but like they, he opens the bid with $1. Like, like they're like, he goes first and he picks $1 on whatever. They're like, what?
Zach Amico
You know.
Shane Torres
And he's kind of a wild looking dude and he's like, he has a hat on that says Big Papa is just like. He goes, tell me what you do for a living. And he goes, I'm a skateboard rabbi. And he goes. And they cut it, but there's like this light. He goes, what does a skateboard rabbi do? And he goes, we turn religious extremism into religious extremism.
Zach Amico
That's awesome.
Shane Torres
Yeah, the, the. This is it right here. Oh, that's Josh on the right.
Zach Amico
We're going to start with you.
Intro/Outro Announcer
For that.
Zach Amico
I'm going to bid $1.
Shane Torres
$1.
Intro/Outro Announcer
All right.
Shane Torres
Big pop of.
Zach Amico
Talking.
Brandon Collins
He's just tripping out right now.
Zach Amico
Oh, dude, that's got to be wild.
Shane Torres
This American Life on, it's fantastic.
Zach Amico
I would fall apart.
Shane Torres
Yeah. I think he gets, I think he gets picked if I remember correctly.
Zach Amico
Flying.
Shane Torres
He's like, he is the Forrest Gump of comedy. Like, there's another thing. He won a million dollars on a big bank theory slot machine in Vegas, I swear to God. And then he was going to use the money to run for LA county sheriff. Yeah. I haven't talked to him in years, but he was a fun.
Brandon Collins
He won a million dollars in slot machine.
Shane Torres
Yeah. Yeah.
Brandon Collins
The Most everyone was. 5,000 was Sex in the City.
Shane Torres
$5,000.
Brandon Collins
Yeah.
Zach Amico
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Brandon Collins
Okay.
Zach Amico
And I didn't know I won because I was. I was home tripping on mushrooms, watching a movie. I did not know the super bowl.
Brandon Collins
Was on fucking mushrooms.
Shane Torres
Do you guys gamble a lot on these, like, draftking apps and this kind of.
Zach Amico
No, no. I have been known to every once in a while on our friend prize picks.
Intro/Outro Announcer
Yeah.
Shane Torres
I like, I'm like worried about it because I just got. I bet on boxing. Right. Yeah. And I've just been getting into it like the past few months. Yeah. And it's. It's too savory. Like, I really.
Zach Amico
I am the worst thing that can.
Shane Torres
Happen, I feel, is like, you get a little success on your first one.
Zach Amico
Yeah. You know what happened to me? I was betting on UFC for a while. Okay. Not in a legal way, not like with our friends prize picks. And I got a little too close to the sun and I was just putting in. Oh, no, stupid bat. Not stupid, but like uneducated bets.
Brandon Collins
Okay.
Shane Torres
It wasn't like an that way of looking at the money. Like, well, this is what I. Yeah.
Zach Amico
And I was just. I was coming out on the other end of it pretty good with little bets. And then I just start. Yeah. I lost some cache the night Connor broke his leg.
Shane Torres
Oh.
Zach Amico
And that one hurt. Yeah, that one hurt bad because I was like, man, I. I was real pumped on it. Yeah. And then you just. It's almost. You feel the poof of your buddy.
Brandon Collins
Well, you saw the poof when you Saw his leg.
Zach Amico
And I was like, no.
Shane Torres
It's like a wishbone from a turkey for you.
Zach Amico
I had called the night Lesn fought Mark Hunt.
Brandon Collins
Okay.
Zach Amico
I called that entire card.
Shane Torres
Oh.
Zach Amico
And I didn't parlay it.
Brandon Collins
Oh, damn.
Zach Amico
And it made me. So I called every fight on that card and it was like me and my friends were all just putting money in per fight. Yeah. And I was like, oh, if I had done that. So now I. I was hot on myself.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Brandon Collins
I can't do the apps and stuff. I got gambling addiction in my family. So, like, I can't. Like, like, literally, like, family members have ruined themselves doing it. So having an app available, it's pretty easy to.
Shane Torres
People get addicted if you with it a little bit, you know?
Zach Amico
Yeah. I love.
Shane Torres
Like, I called two of the three fights right in my parlay on Saturday night. And I. And then I was like, God damn.
Zach Amico
Tim McLaughlin has a great story because he'll do like.
Shane Torres
He's the funniest person alive, Tim McLaughlin.
Zach Amico
So fucking funny. If for people don't know him. He's on the show all the time. He did like a 12 part. Like, he.
Intro/Outro Announcer
He.
Zach Amico
He'll bet $5 on a bunch of stuff on a bunch of, like, you know, just how many catches, how many yards?
Shane Torres
Yeah. Like these. All these problems.
Zach Amico
And he won, like. Well, Shannon, I want to say it was like 20 grand on like a 15 bet. Oh, good God.
Shane Torres
Really?
Zach Amico
Something crazy. He lost it immediately, of course.
Shane Torres
Of course.
Zach Amico
He's also done that.
Shane Torres
Had to make his girlfriend so mad.
Zach Amico
He's. He's also won like a shitload in poker. And immediately. Yeah, he's a good.
Shane Torres
Tim's. He. He came over and he hung a bunch of stuff at the apartment because he's, like, very handy. And my. My buddy that I rent from was like. I told him, but Tim. I was like, tim can do all this. And he goes, okay. And he goes, that dude made me uncomfortable. He kept calling himself a fucking idiot. The whole time, he's just sitting there hanging a picture, calling himself an idiot. Like, I'm a fucking idiot. That's wild.
Zach Amico
My favorite Tim thing is one time I was like, you still working at the bowling games? Like, nah, Micah made me quit. I kept getting electrocuted. I got electrocuted. I kept getting. I kept getting electric. He would go to fix the bowling machines and just wake up on the ground, like, smoking.
Brandon Collins
Oh. Like he was getting knocked out. It wasn't like, no, yeah, he was getting electric.
Shane Torres
Like somebody like, what's the lightning strike.
Zach Amico
Every Time somebody hit a strike, he shits his pants. You gotta.
Shane Torres
You have to ask him the story of next time he's on about him and Mike, how they got together.
Zach Amico
Oh, I will. Because it's a pin in that.
Shane Torres
It's so funny because he's just like. I was like, how'd you guys get together? I won't tell the whole story. Well, I was going to Cobra Club every week because I liked how mean she was to everyone. Yeah.
Zach Amico
He must either have the nicest or meanest moment.
Shane Torres
I bet she's very nice.
Zach Amico
I bet she's overly.
Shane Torres
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can bet. Yeah.
Brandon Collins
He likes a little spice in his life, you know, you saw like, you.
Shane Torres
Know, he's the most Midwestern guy I've ever met in my entire life.
Zach Amico
Oh, yeah. It drips out of him.
Shane Torres
Yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
What a sweetheart.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Zach Amico
I was telling you, I just want to tell people, do Begonia Bang.
Shane Torres
Yeah, I haven't watched it yet.
Zach Amico
I feel gonna love it. I guarantee you're gonna be pumped.
Shane Torres
Do I need to be in a mood for it? Like one of those kind of.
Brandon Collins
You can't go in, like, Dory and like, I just want.
Shane Torres
Do. I just want to see a movie?
Brandon Collins
I mean, it's pretty intense, man. From my jump.
Zach Amico
It's not a. I wouldn't watch it and then be like, now let's go have a happy night out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brandon Collins
Maybe like sit back, have like a glass of whiskey or something like that and just.
Zach Amico
Yeah, I would say it's not a 2pm movie.
Shane Torres
Okay.
Zach Amico
It is an 8pm after movie.
Brandon Collins
Maybe that's a good time to watch.
Zach Amico
Because I. I watch Crazy Girlfriend or no Girlfriend.
Brandon Collins
I would say girlfriend.
Zach Amico
Girlfriend.
Shane Torres
Fine.
Zach Amico
Yeah. Good at really good acting. Yeah.
Shane Torres
Yeah. Okay.
Zach Amico
And I. I feel like a queef saying this. One of the main characters is. Is on the spectrum and they actually cast an autistic guy. He's fucking great.
Shane Torres
Yeah, yeah.
Brandon Collins
It's one of the most natural cast.
Zach Amico
It's the most. Not a performance. Like, he's like, oh, that's probably how that guy talking talks.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Brandon Collins
Were you annoyed? Did you ever see Good Time, the Safdie Brother movie?
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Brandon Collins
Were you annoyed with Benny Safdie in that movie? Like, I was really bothered by that. That, like, after. After I learned who Betty Sappy was, I was like, wait, wait a minute.
Shane Torres
Is he the one that's always in movies? Yeah, yeah, he's the one.
Zach Amico
But he's the one that's in Happy Gilmore too.
Brandon Collins
Yeah, yeah, but he.
Shane Torres
Yeah, I remember what A clip that was like a YouTube super cut.
Zach Amico
It was nuts. How bad it was literally. Cameos and clips from the other movies.
Brandon Collins
A lot of people.
Zach Amico
The other movie. Yeah, it was crazy. Terrible.
Brandon Collins
It was so bad. And then they killed Julie.
Intro/Outro Announcer
Bo.
Brandon Collins
Sorry.
Zach Amico
Yeah, they kill her immediately after doing all the press that she was coming back where she's like, you know, it's not like one of those movies where he gets a younger girlfriend.
Shane Torres
What's so interesting?
Brandon Collins
It's like, she's so hot.
Shane Torres
I. Yeah, she's still a smoke.
Zach Amico
I think she's hotter now than she was.
Brandon Collins
Yeah. Modern Family. She like, got really, like. I don't know.
Zach Amico
Yeah, she's hotter now.
Shane Torres
Yeah, she's a baby the whole time. But I think it's like. Well, I don't like. Look, I. It's hard to make a movie. Yeah, it's really hard.
Zach Amico
Like, I am. Oh, and 50. Yeah, I, I, I have, I have. If I walk by a movie set, it's a bad movie. And I know that the New Jersey Devil, I'm owing nothing.
Shane Torres
I, I shot my first movie last year. Okay. Right. And I was like. And it was like, you know, fairly low budget production and I was just like, this is so hard. Yes. You know what I mean? Because everybody's wearing different hats.
Brandon Collins
It's a lot of work.
Shane Torres
So, like, I have like a great amount of sympathy having seen what it takes. But I was just like, this is not the effort in. This does not seem maximal, you know, like, you know, like. Because, like, when I watched another sailor movie, Hustle, which I thought was going to be just kind of a movie, I really like it. Yeah, I really, really enjoyed it. But that's what I was just like, this is, this felt like cash. Yeah.
Brandon Collins
But team, though, that's like a different creative team. That's a creative team that's like taking it seriously. They clearly had a script. You know, I mean, I think the Happy Madison movies, they just kind of have fun. Like, because I never hear anything bad about Adam Sandler.
Zach Amico
I always hear like, it's fun, that he's the nicest. Right. There was a story going around that I was probably AI this week that his daughter got went into like a Chanel store or something and they wouldn't serve because she had on like a hoodie and shorts. And she called him and he showed up and really changed their mind on what bag she was.
Shane Torres
They wouldn't let her dress like her father.
Brandon Collins
Yeah, dude, I was at W. I could be wrong. I thought WMA for a screening for the Fableman's right. Like, all these big shots in Hollywood. Adam Sandler is in a hoodie and shorts to introduce the movie. And even in his speech, he's like, yeah, I haven't watched the whole thing. I heard it's good, though. I think Steve did a. You know, apparently he did a really good job. Enjoy, guys. And then you leave, so you're just like, he's that guy. Like, he's Adam.
Shane Torres
I mean, he must move like a fucking gangster. Well, so, like. Like, in a good way. Like. Like, just like, I'll do it the way I want. Yeah.
Zach Amico
And as far as, like, what he does. I get it. It's like, you pick an exotic location, you take your fan. Especially when the kids were younger. Now the kids are in the movies, the kids are younger.
Brandon Collins
I got feelings about that. But.
Zach Amico
Yeah. Every summer. Yeah. Me and my family go to fucking Africa. We go to fucking. A water park. Yeah. Wherever the movie's gonna be. Hawaii for 51st days, whatever. And, you know, we know what kind of movie we make.
Shane Torres
Yeah. That's not.
Zach Amico
I'm fine with that. Dude. I love Hubie Halloween because I went, oh, this is gonna be retarded.
Brandon Collins
That was silly.
Shane Torres
Yeah. I can take something in the context it's supposed to be done.
Zach Amico
Yes.
Shane Torres
But I just thought Happy Gilmore, too, was just like. It was just celebrity and it was.
Zach Amico
Just celebrities and then celebrities recreating the scenes from the first one, which is like the Trap sequels fall in, which is. How do we redo the beats?
Brandon Collins
That's why I hate Anchorman 2. I was like, it not only followed the same beats from the first one, it also integrated, like, Talladega knights shit. And you're like, wait, Adam McCabe will fro. You guys are better than this. What's happening?
Shane Torres
Yeah. You've created your universe.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Shane Torres
I think. I think it's like you said, like, they all. They all recreate each other. They kind of do that trap where they fall into one. They're trying to do the same thing again and again.
Zach Amico
Yeah. Look at them. Jurassic park, the first one, when they rebooted it.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Zach Amico
It's all the beats of Jurassic park, but with one dinosaur bigger. Yeah.
Brandon Collins
But I did think it worth opening the park. I thought that was a cool element of it. But after that, if it's a shit.
Shane Torres
Was that Hollywood executive from, like, the Golden Age, he said. He always just said, bring me the same thing, but different.
Zach Amico
Oh, I don't know.
Brandon Collins
But that, like, all of them.
Shane Torres
Yeah, but, like, that was like, what? Like, it's like. That's what it feels like.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Shane Torres
Yeah. You know, like, this was the hit.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Shane Torres
How do we raise it? Or, like, you know, just change.
Brandon Collins
I mean, every pitch meeting, it's like one of the first questions is, what's the comp like? You know what I mean? Like, that they always want to know, like, how can I sell this that. To something related that's like, love.
Shane Torres
And like. I mean, our. I guess the heyday of comedies for. I don't know how old you guys are, but, like, the age group was just like the early 2000. Every bromance was the same movie, and.
Brandon Collins
They all star Freddie Prinze Jr. Or Jason Biggs or like.
Shane Torres
Or there was like, the Paul Rudd. I love. Like, the. Like, even out the Apatow universe, there was.
Brandon Collins
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Well, they have that great joke at the. One of the roasts. Dick Kroll does it. I think he's like, how it says, Seth, Seth, Seth Rogen's here. He has a part named Evan Goldberg. How ugly is this guy that you're the face of the operation? I just picture a sweaty orthodox Jew eating a pastrami sandwich going, sethi, baby. I added 10 more dick jokes to page three, and I was thinking maybe they smoke a lot of ganja and then they're friends, and then they're not friends, and at the end of the movie, they're friends again.
Brandon Collins
God damn it. I love comedy. But I. Yeah, I agree. Happy Gilmore, too. I was just like, what?
Zach Amico
It just left Eminem.
Brandon Collins
Cameo was nuts.
Zach Amico
It was retarded.
Brandon Collins
Like, why does he look like this, first of all?
Zach Amico
And why is he just playing a dead guy? He's just an unrelated dead guy.
Shane Torres
I mean, this does. I will say this. Rabbi Gilmore, too.
Zach Amico
The.
Shane Torres
The proof that all of these celebrities want to be in it shows you how insane the first one was as. As a, like, influential film, you know, like. Because it is not. It's not just people like my age that are supposed to like that movie. It's, like, all the way down to Margaret quality, who's, like, you know, 20 years younger than me.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Shane Torres
Every peep, like, over, under, like, it's. It is. It shows you how the longevity of that film and, like, I mean, or not the longevity, but rather the, like.
Zach Amico
Probably the exact age. I'm 38.
Shane Torres
Yeah. I'm. I'm a little older than you, but where the.
Zach Amico
Like, I remember the kids who were a little older than me that being, like, them being obsessed with Sandler.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And I get every part of it is they had done that to Billy Madison, it would have hurt my feelings.
Brandon Collins
I feel the same way. I'm like, don't touch Billy Madison. Do not fucking revisit that. I mean, I actually think there's more fodder though, to work with Billy Madison sequel than there was Abigail.
Shane Torres
I actually think so too, because he inherits the whatever, like Ian here hotel. Yeah.
Brandon Collins
It's also easy. Well, no, that's a Mr. Deeds, right?
Shane Torres
No, that's Billy Madison. Okay.
Zach Amico
Madison Hotels. Yeah.
Brandon Collins
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Shane Torres
But the Eric said. Eric's bag.
Brandon Collins
But the Billy Madison, you know, there's so much like, you know, turmoil with the education system. He could have a kid that like, is fucking the same thing. Like, you could retread it but still make it really, really funny because there's so much fodder with like, education shit. Like Abbott elementary has proven that. So, yeah, Sandler doing that. Or Sandler could be a teacher, like, for some reason.
Zach Amico
Well, he does go to back, if you remember, he gives the hotel to the guy who was fake Kramer.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Zach Amico
On Seinfeld, when they made the Seinfeld show, the guy that played Kramer, he was also the guy that owned the junkyard in Breaking Bad.
Shane Torres
Yeah. Yes, yes.
Brandon Collins
That's a specific.
Shane Torres
Guy's got rage.
Intro/Outro Announcer
Yeah.
Shane Torres
It's just crazy. He's just playing himself. So.
Zach Amico
Yeah, he did go to school. He said he was going to college. Become a teacher.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Zach Amico
I think the funny thing to do there is. And I don't know because I guess they try to in Happy Gilmore too. I think he should become a rich prick and have to refine Happy Interesting or refined Bill. You know, the. You know, I think he should have fucked it all up.
Shane Torres
I think that is a way you do that. But they're one of the few family owned hotel chains left in the world. And it's a comment on globalism and like, so they're trying to be brought out by Hilton or whatever.
Zach Amico
That would make sense. Yeah.
Shane Torres
So you do like kind of a. A Tommy Boy. Yeah, like, all I want is the goddamn box.
Brandon Collins
And I think that. I think Bradley Woodford's character, like, makes more sense to bring back as the Enemy than what they did with Happy Gilmore too, and all that stuff, you know.
Zach Amico
Oh, yeah.
Brandon Collins
Like, because he has.
Shane Torres
Yeah. I really wanted more. Like, Shooter and him were so amazing in the first one.
Brandon Collins
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And they had none of that.
Shane Torres
Yeah. Which kind of was like. I liked seeing them go. And I guess they go at each other a little bit in the second one.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Shane Torres
But like just the. The back and forth quipping and I hated.
Zach Amico
Hate. I guess it was a comment on what the. The. The new golf they're doing in Saudi Arabia.
Brandon Collins
Oh, yeah, yeah. Is such a mess.
Zach Amico
The third act, it was just like this weird se. Like nobody cared about Abigail because of the cool golf. And it's just like these weird cg, like fake courses. And it's just like it added this element where now it almost looks like that pixel movie or whatever the it was.
Brandon Collins
Oh, yeah, yeah. Pixels. Yeah, yeah. Dinklage and Adam Sandler.
Shane Torres
Yeah, Give it to Sandler, though, man. He really. He not afraid to try. No, like, I like, you know, like, he was like, yeah, why won't I do it?
Brandon Collins
And he mixes it up. Like, that's the thing is, like, he is very underrated. Like, he got washed out in this Oscar race for, you know, for J. Kelly or whatever, but he, like, has shown, like, I can actually act and stuff. So he has respect on the industry. It's just, you know, good on him for having the freedom to do what he wants because no one could tell him no. And.
Zach Amico
And there's all. I will say that there's movies, the non Adam Sandler movies of a certain house bunny's great grandma's boy is fucking brilliant.
Brandon Collins
It's really house buddies with what's her name, right?
Zach Amico
Yeah, yeah, she's. There's a couple really good Dirty work.
Brandon Collins
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Shane Torres
These are all Happy Madison movies is what you're saying.
Zach Amico
I feel like they're all in the wheelhouse. Well, those two were.
Shane Torres
I don't know.
Zach Amico
I don't think dirty work.
Shane Torres
Well, dirty work was.
Zach Amico
But yeah, Sandler's in it.
Shane Torres
Yeah, Sandler's in Dirty Work. Oh, yeah.
Zach Amico
He's the B of devil.
Shane Torres
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
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Shane Torres
Yeah. I don't know, man. I think it's interesting. Like, it's so much easier to hate on him for Happy Gilmore, too. And then he should have. And nobody said the hate we should be giving is that he was not nominated for his role in J. Kelly.
Brandon Collins
Yeah.
Shane Torres
You know, like.
Zach Amico
Yeah, yeah, I see what you mean.
Shane Torres
Yeah. Like, it's just easier to, like, dog the dude out, which is a fucking shit.
Brandon Collins
It sucks because it's like whiplash. Being an Adam Sandler fan, you're like, you know, you love his comedy. And then he'll do like, a hustle, and you're like, this guy's fucking good. And then, like, it'll do like a weird comedy. Like a. I like to be Hollywood, but a lot of people hated that one.
Zach Amico
I didn't see that. It was. It was McDonald's, dude. Yeah, it was exactly what. You knew what you were getting. Yeah, it was dumb. It made me laugh.
Brandon Collins
I loved murder mystery.
Zach Amico
Murder mystery is really good. Murder mystery was very, very good.
Shane Torres
Has he made.
Zach Amico
He's got a quote recently where he's like, before I die, I'd like to make about 50 more movies. About 25 will be good.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Zach Amico
But. Yeah, that's kind of how movies work, too.
Shane Torres
Yeah. Like, nobody bats a thousand. Yeah.
Zach Amico
Like, Scorsese has bad movies.
Shane Torres
What's his worst movies think?
Zach Amico
It depends. Like, I. There's a. There's a stretch for a while where he. He wasn't hitting.
Shane Torres
What do you think? Better question, what do you think his most underrated movie is?
Zach Amico
After Hours.
Shane Torres
After.
Brandon Collins
Really?
Shane Torres
I would say love After Hours.
Zach Amico
You know, I know people don't like, I Cannot Stand.
Shane Torres
I love Bringing out.
Brandon Collins
Why I hate the main. I hate the main actor. I don't like him.
Zach Amico
Okay.
Brandon Collins
I like him in this Is Us, but like that. After I'm blinking on his name. But like, I did not like him in the main role for After Hours. Underrated. I would say Bringing out the Dead.
Shane Torres
That's what I was saying.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Brandon Collins
Nicholas Cage. That was an interesting Cage.
Shane Torres
Tom. S. Like, everybody he's paired with.
Brandon Collins
Yeah, he threw a lot out out there. And, like, it doesn't quite hit. But, like, that was an experimental.
Shane Torres
There's some great scenes in that movie, though. Yeah. Have you ever seen it?
Zach Amico
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Shane Torres
I love that movie. Yeah.
Zach Amico
And then my favorite is Cape Fear. I. I just think Cape Fear is so.
Brandon Collins
I get so uncomfortable. The Juliet Lewis scene with the finger, it's so uncomfortable.
Zach Amico
Dude, she's young too. It's.
Brandon Collins
It's really bad.
Shane Torres
I just always have the. Whenever I think of Caper, I just think of him doing the dips.
Brandon Collins
Yeah.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And I'm just like, ah, that's one.
Brandon Collins
Of the best Simpsons parodies ever.
Zach Amico
Oh, it's.
Brandon Collins
Yeah.
Zach Amico
The best ever. Yeah, that's a. I think that might be one of the last Conan's.
Shane Torres
Oh, yeah. Okay.
Zach Amico
There's monorail. I know is Conan, but I think. I think Cape Fear might be Conan too.
Brandon Collins
I wouldn't be surprised.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Zach Amico
That. What makes that work is it's the whole episode.
Brandon Collins
Yes.
Zach Amico
If you see the episode first, you watch the movie. It kind of did to Cape Fear what Walk Hard did to biopics.
Brandon Collins
Yeah. Yeah. Just throughout, like, showed you the whole formula and then you're just like, oh, well, now I know Zach Aldi's work.
Zach Amico
But Keith here is also a remake, like, so that was already kind of in the culture. Like, pretty much all the beats.
Brandon Collins
I will say Nick Nolte and De Niro both trying to out crazy each other.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Brandon Collins
Sight to behold. You know, it's like, I always love when actors try to outcrate, like, Pacino and Leto in like, House of Gucci. They're both nuts with those accents. And there's one scene where they're just screaming at each other. I'm like, this is cinema, guys. This is.
Zach Amico
I don't know. De Niro in Came Fear when he. When he rapes Dolphy's side face. I got you now, bitch.
Brandon Collins
Yeah, that's a rough.
Zach Amico
He got his teeth filed down for that, right? Oh, I'm sure he had his.
Brandon Collins
He does some wild method stuff.
Zach Amico
I want to say he had his teeth, like, filed down tiny. Paid for it himself, and then got new teeth after that movie because he's got tiny little teeth in that movie.
Shane Torres
What's the thinking?
Zach Amico
I think that he's just poor and has bad teeth. Yeah.
Shane Torres
Yeah. Oh, it's okay. Yeah.
Zach Amico
And I change the same.
Shane Torres
It's so funny to think, how you doing, Kyle?
Zach Amico
Pay the dentist five grand to grind down and ruin his teeth to create a more menacing, derelict appearance. And then paid another 20 grand to have his teeth returned.
Shane Torres
Damn.
Brandon Collins
Yeah, he can't do the method stuff anymore, though. I think, like, a bunch of directors have had to Talk him down to like, hey, you can't. Like he for the longest time wanted to play younger and Irishman. He was finally worse, but then Nova told him, like, hey, man, you know, you can't move though, like a 30 year old man.
Zach Amico
Well, the thing that, that was like.
Shane Torres
When he was throwing the gun in the river.
Zach Amico
Stomp. Yeah, the stomps outside the store. The little old man stumps. The thing that bothered me about the Irishman, nobody went, hey, you know, we gotta fix their ears. Ah, they all have giant old man ears.
Brandon Collins
That's funny.
Zach Amico
And nobody fixes it. And it drives me nuts. Yeah, that.
Shane Torres
I would have never noticed that.
Zach Amico
It's crazy.
Shane Torres
I can't understand because we all. The stomp was the big thing in the end.
Zach Amico
Yeah, right.
Brandon Collins
And the hand, like, if you look at his, it's like weird. Like it's just he looks.
Shane Torres
Or when he throws the gun away in the river and he's like hopping on the rocks, you know, whatever. Like, I just couldn't understand why they didn't shoot it. Where, like there's a boot coming down, you know, like there's another way to show this. And you're Martin Scorsese. You know how to do all.
Zach Amico
Yeah, it's body double.
Shane Torres
Well, I think just like the guy looks up and there's a foot coming down on his face and you cut to teeth.
Brandon Collins
I guess the narrowest. I can do it because we saw.
Shane Torres
I guess it's probably very hard to say to. No. No to someone of that stature.
Brandon Collins
I saw like the opening, like the premiere of House to Lois.
Zach Amico
Right.
Brandon Collins
The Spike Lee movie with Denzel. And there's a scene where they do the take.
Shane Torres
Oh, it's the thing where he's the new one that came out.
Brandon Collins
They do have the taken cuts where Denzel's character is like jumping over a fence and stuff, right. And the audience, like Denzel and Spike are there in the audience and the audience is laughing because they're like, you know, that's not Denzel doing that shit. But I think De Niro's like, I can do it, guys. And they're like, you know, we could bring in somebody like, no, I got it.
Zach Amico
Now I will say the worst. Playing Young is. And he does it egregiously in two different movies. Travolta.
Brandon Collins
Which. Which ones are you? Which movies do you think about?
Zach Amico
And it's Gotti.
Brandon Collins
That's one of the worst movies I've ever seen.
Zach Amico
Which if you have not sat through.
Shane Torres
I know because on my streaming, I know the Image. Yeah. I watch.
Zach Amico
However bad you think it's gonna be, it's worse.
Brandon Collins
I watched Gotti drugged up in a hospital bed after I had lung surgery. And it was worse than the surgery. It was so bad. It's so offensive. Kevin Conley ruined his career, I think.
Shane Torres
Well, first of all, I know Kevin Conley.
Intro/Outro Announcer
Yeah.
Shane Torres
I went to the red light district with him in Amsterdam. Really? With him and Burt. Yeah, he was there, like, filming something, and I was with Bert.
Brandon Collins
Did everyone call him E? Everywhere he went. Is that like, a thing for him?
Shane Torres
No, I mean, he was like, so like that. We did, like, it was like a good group of people, so nobody was busting balls. But, like, we were all.
Brandon Collins
I meant, like, just like, regular, you know?
Shane Torres
I fancy myself a pretty, like, leftist dude.
Brandon Collins
Yeah.
Shane Torres
For whatever. But, like, I was like, maybe I'm a little more bro than I thought. If I'm going to the red light district with one of the guys from Entourage and a guy who never wears a shirt that calls himself the Machine. Yeah. Hey.
Zach Amico
What is wrong, man?
Shane Torres
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
When an answer.
Shane Torres
It was a good time. Yeah. And he was a fucking sweetheart.
Zach Amico
Okay.
Brandon Collins
Yeah.
Shane Torres
It was an awesome dude.
Brandon Collins
Good thing you didn't see Gotti before you met him, though.
Zach Amico
This is what I'll say about Gotti. Imagine one of the guys from Entourage made a John Gotti movie. And now imagine one of the guys from Entourage made a John Gotti movie.
Shane Torres
Oh, there's a lot of people like.
Brandon Collins
Entourage in it too.
Shane Torres
Did he make the movie like he directed it? Yeah.
Zach Amico
It's like he's playing photos because he used. He's wearing Gotti's real clothes. I think the family donated shit. So he's. They're very much placating to the family. They're making it like, oh, he was a neighborhood guy and everything was better with him.
Brandon Collins
But wasn't it even, like, time wise? It was like, off. Like, I remember they played completely off. They played a Pitbull song in the background. You're like, wait a minute. This is like in the 90s.
Zach Amico
He plays multiple ages and you can never figure out how old he's supposed to be.
Brandon Collins
He was the same age the whole time.
Zach Amico
And there's another one where he plays. I forget the name.
Brandon Collins
The fan guy. When he's like, the obsessed fan.
Zach Amico
No, that's. I'm obsessed. That's a whole other can of worms.
Brandon Collins
Yeah. With the neurodiversity. That was nuts.
Zach Amico
I'll talk about that in a second.
Brandon Collins
The fanatic Fred Durst directed that.
Zach Amico
Yes, he did. And wrote it.
Brandon Collins
Oh, my God.
Zach Amico
There's another one where he plays the guy who was selling speedboats to coke smugglers.
Brandon Collins
Yeah, yeah. Need for. Was that need for Speed? It's on Hulu.
Shane Torres
Need for Speed is like a car movie.
Brandon Collins
Yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
And he's done up to be younger.
Shannon
Speed kills.
Shane Torres
Speed kills.
Zach Amico
Speed kills. Thank you.
Shane Torres
Thank you, Shannon.
Zach Amico
And he's got a scene where he's in a phone booth and he's young in the face and hair. Like, they gave him a young wig and makeup, but they left his hands. And you know how old guys will get the arm hair that goes up to their pinky.
Shane Torres
Yeah. Like, you get a little more wooly bully kind of. Yeah, dude.
Zach Amico
He's on the phone with a young face and an old hand.
Brandon Collins
Oh, no.
Zach Amico
And no. I guess travel to, like, if we lose. Like, if we send him back to the trailer now, he's gonna, like, molest three more people. Like, let's just. Let's get the shot. But. Okay. The Fanatic. I'm upset. I've seen the Fanatic.
Brandon Collins
That's one of the most offensive movies I've ever seen. It's so fucking out.
Shane Torres
Is it, like a bad movie? Well, like, I mean, I don't know what it is. And I'm sure, like. Yeah, yeah.
Brandon Collins
He's like. He's obsessed with, like, this horror series that Devin Sawa from.
Zach Amico
Devin Sawa is an actor and John Travolta is an autograph collector.
Shane Torres
Okay. And Devin Sawa plays an actor in this movie.
Zach Amico
Plays an actor in this. Hunter. Hunter. Duncan or something like that. Duncan something. Trust me, I've seen it five times. I made my family watch it on Christmas Eve.
Shane Torres
Oh, my God.
Brandon Collins
I mean, it is a sight to behold.
Zach Amico
It's like.
Brandon Collins
It's so fucking troubling.
Zach Amico
And Travolta, his day job. First of all, we're even getting to the plot of the movie. He's a character in man's Chinese square, you know, like the built tourists for pictures.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Zach Amico
But because it's not an expensive movie, they can't include copywritten characters. So he's just a Bobby. Like a London Bobby.
Brandon Collins
It's.
Shane Torres
Oh.
Zach Amico
Like a.
Brandon Collins
He's just standing.
Shane Torres
Yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
Welcome to Hollywood. Where dreams are made. Because, you know when you go to John Travolta. Oh, yeah.
Brandon Collins
And he's supposed to be on the spectrum. And so, like, he's very awkward.
Zach Amico
And, like, he goes to a. Like, he gets invited to a premiere party and he orders a strawberry milkshake and does it and like argues with the bartender, like, why can't you make me a strawberry milkshake? I love Shade.
Brandon Collins
It's really.
Zach Amico
Is that the movie is.
Shane Torres
I do like, it's wild. I have had people like that at.
Brandon Collins
Least shake and see what he looks.
Zach Amico
Like stalking the the actor. And it's written and directed by Fred Durst. There's at least five different points where it fades to black and you go, yeah, that's how it ended. And then it just keeps going.
Brandon Collins
Keeps going.
Zach Amico
Yeah. And then it ends. Super Saiyan.
Shannon
I have the trailer if you want to see a little bit of it.
Zach Amico
Sure.
Shane Torres
Please God.
Zach Amico
His friends are paparazzi. Why this old autistic man is friends with a 20 year old paparazzi is never explained.
Brandon Collins
Yeah, that's how he looks.
Shane Torres
Is Hunter Dunbar here tonight?
Intro/Outro Announcer
That's enough.
Shane Torres
I need to get an autograph. Don't let us do this to me. I'm a fan. I'm a number one fan. Is it difficult to find famous people's houses?
Shannon
I use my Star map app. You have to be careful.
Zach Amico
I don't want you to be accused of stalking. Hey, you can't just come to my.
Shane Torres
Private residence looking for me.
Zach Amico
Listen, pal, I don't know how you found me, but I don't ever want to see you in this neighborhood again.
Shane Torres
What?
Intro/Outro Announcer
Help.
Shane Torres
I just wanted an autograph.
Zach Amico
Wait, wait, wait. Out of your mind?
Shane Torres
I, I. To be honest, based on that trailer, I would watch that movie like, okay.
Zach Amico
So now and again I've seen a bunch of. Also, this is what's funny about it. He took out a full page ad in Variety.
Shane Torres
Who did?
Zach Amico
Travolta.
Shane Torres
Okay.
Zach Amico
For your consideration, Best actor.
Brandon Collins
No, he didn't.
Zach Amico
John Travolta himself in the Fanatic because he was so proud of his performance.
Brandon Collins
I do think he has one more good performance before all is said and done.
Zach Amico
I bet he does.
Shane Torres
I think he's got more than one.
Zach Amico
I bet he's got a few.
Brandon Collins
I'm saying one because he's not gonna get more than that from.
Shane Torres
I don't know, man. Like he, like I'm a Travolta fan. Yeah, but sure, he's got, he's I love. Amazing. Amazing. Another movie.
Brandon Collins
I'll crazy each other.
Shane Torres
Yes. Yeah. He's been in some pretty bad movies. Yeah.
Brandon Collins
Yes, yes.
Shane Torres
He keeps getting opportunities. So I think he, that's why I think he can have more than one good performance left in like there's gotta.
Brandon Collins
Be a good movie overall. It can't be. He's A great performance. Like he gets a great performance.
Shane Torres
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm with you on that. Yeah.
Brandon Collins
But like, like, if Tarantino puts him in like his last movie, there's promise there.
Shane Torres
If he gets him. Yeah. Maybe he's the second banana on the. Kind of. Like he's not. He's Val Kilmer as opposed to Kurt Russell and Tombstone. Yeah, if he gets a few of those.
Zach Amico
So here's why the. The him buying the ad is super sad. I think he's doing Jet.
Shane Torres
What?
Zach Amico
His dead autistic son.
Brandon Collins
Oh, that's right. Yeah.
Zach Amico
Travolta, I don't want to talk about this anymore. Travolta.
Shane Torres
I don't want to talk about this. Hey.
Zach Amico
Extremely Special Needs.
Shane Torres
Every time. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.
Zach Amico
And I know. I. I'm playing Jet. This is his love raising to his. I think he's playing you if you think that.
Brandon Collins
Rip to Jet. Rip to Kelly Preston.
Zach Amico
Yeah, yeah. And that was awesome. Gotti's her last movie, right?
Shane Torres
Yes. Oh, is it really? It's all right.
Brandon Collins
I just remember Jerry Maguire. That's all I need to remember.
Zach Amico
Well, because they already had for love of the game.
Brandon Collins
Oh.
Zach Amico
Artie has a story about being on Jerry Maguire. And they were playing catch in the lot and a little kid ran up and he threw the ball to him and all these scientologists ran over and were like, you do not talk to Jack Travolta. You do not play with him. Because they were hiding the fact that he was non verbal or something disgusting. Because he's like. He like, drowned in the tub. Like some very weird.
Shane Torres
So depressing. I can't.
Zach Amico
And I'm convinced that the fanatic is his tribute to his son.
Shane Torres
Your theories are fucking crazy that I.
Zach Amico
You can't.
Shane Torres
This is. No, it's not.
Zach Amico
That is so solid. I'm telling you, take it apart. Yeah. Right now.
Shane Torres
Like a fly's wings. Yeah. You think he took out of Adam Variety? He was proud of his performance.
Zach Amico
Yes.
Shane Torres
And then you make the insane jump.
Zach Amico
Yes.
Shane Torres
You're admitting it's an insane jump.
Zach Amico
Oh, yeah.
Shane Torres
Okay.
Brandon Collins
Yeah.
Zach Amico
That's all I do. There's a reason I'm wrong about. Shit. Why are we even arguing? I'm a big fan of going A to D without looking at B and.
Shane Torres
C. Yeah, you fucking do. You sure are shit.
Zach Amico
But so he's got like ticks in it and shit and like whatever you would call it. Like, he like, smells his ear the whole movie. And I'm going, he got that from Something.
Shane Torres
He's a great actor.
Zach Amico
Is he?
Shane Torres
You're not saying he got that from something. You're saying he got it wrong.
Zach Amico
I think he did.
Shane Torres
I do not think that. I do not think that. And I believe you are an SP and I am an operating thetan on a level of six.
Zach Amico
Okay. All right, let's get one more thing out of here. Everybody saw the boxer loses wig, right? Yes.
Shane Torres
What? Yeah, I watched. Watching it live.
Zach Amico
Just absolutely brilliant.
Brandon Collins
Why not just shave your head?
Shane Torres
You know, Like, I wanted to say this. Like, I was gonna do some kind of clip about it, but, like, that's Jerrell Miller. He's, like. He's from Brooklyn. He's, like, from Brownsville or East New York or something like that. The one thing we can all agree on in this day and age, black people, black men always look better with a shaved head.
Zach Amico
Yes.
Shane Torres
It's the one thing, you guys, that was insane.
Zach Amico
Women have it, and we don't know.
Shane Torres
It's the one thing. Like, everyone's like, yeah, they're the most racist. Guy will be like, they're doing it.
Zach Amico
Better than us across the board.
Shane Torres
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And.
Shane Torres
And I will give him a ton of fucking credit, though, for saying it was funny. Yes. And also that he threw it, pulled it off and threw it into the audience.
Zach Amico
You had to.
Brandon Collins
You have to fully embrace that. You can't try to, like, put it back.
Shane Torres
When he shells up and he shells up, you can see he's, like, carrying his hands a little high because he's trying to keep the wig down.
Brandon Collins
The hubris, and thinking, I'm going to win this fight.
Zach Amico
You actually see the opponent laugh. Watch, watch, and watch. He smiles, gracious.
Shane Torres
Took it up and.
Zach Amico
Threw it into the crowd.
Shane Torres
Yeah. I give. You got to give him credit for owning it.
Zach Amico
Before we get out of here, I want to do one more thing. Four women try a rodeo seesaw.
Brandon Collins
Oh, I saw that.
Zach Amico
Let's watch it, and we'll end on this.
Shane Torres
I couldn't tell.
Brandon Collins
Some of them are hot, though.
Shannon
Like, one second.
Zach Amico
No problem. This is, by the way, the scariest. Like, to even get on this. You're out of your mind.
Brandon Collins
I mean, the jackass thing turned me.
Zach Amico
The out of me, cuz.
Brandon Collins
Did a Johnny Knoxville that. That's the one injury that, like, he hasn't, like, he never fully recovered from.
Zach Amico
Yeah. I think that's why he can't take head shots anymore.
Shane Torres
Toro teeter totter is what they call it.
Zach Amico
Toro totter this. Yeah.
Brandon Collins
See the one in the jeans? I'm like, man, she look kind of good.
Zach Amico
I just can't.
Shane Torres
What. What are they doing here? Is there a bull coming out and.
Brandon Collins
Then a bull's about to come?
Zach Amico
I believe the point is the last person left on it wins.
Shane Torres
Yeah. I'd be like, oh, don't drop me.
Zach Amico
But like, jesus, that is death. Right? Like, if that thing really.
Brandon Collins
Well, it's like a baby, right?
Zach Amico
Yeah. That does not look. That's not. Doesn't have the big horn, but the.
Brandon Collins
One with the big horns that, like. I mean, that's one of the most vicious.
Zach Amico
The hooves. Okay.
Shane Torres
Did he get all of them?
Zach Amico
I think he got all of them in one swoop.
Shane Torres
I will say, this is what I.
Zach Amico
Nice ass, though.
Brandon Collins
Yeah, that's what I'm saying, you know?
Shane Torres
Oh, yeah. Nice asses. Those rodeo girls, they're all wearing horses.
Zach Amico
They got haunches on them.
Shane Torres
Yeah. I'm serious. They're all, like, very fit.
Zach Amico
Oh, yeah. You ride them for eight seconds.
Shane Torres
I. I do love in the Jackass movie when like, bam is on it and he's like, hold on. Yeah, the bullet's not gonna.
Zach Amico
It's Pontius when he gets his leg clipped.
Shane Torres
Is that what it is?
Zach Amico
Yeah. He goes, hold on one second. The bull's not going to hold on. All right, guys, thank you so much for tuning in. This was Zach Amico's Morning Zoo. Thank you to my guest, Shane Torres. Please listen to the Coastal Idiots podcast. Please also support the Medium Popcorn podcast with our friend Brandon Collins. Thank you, thank you, and thank you to our friends in the booth. We'll be back on Wednesday with another edition of the Morning Zoo. Goodbye.
Intro/Outro Announcer
Noon is morning time to him. Papa Baco. Chug it down. Just like your favorite obese clown. Grab a call bear and join the crew. It's Akamiko morning, too. It's a Miko morning, too.
Podcast: Zac Amico's Morning Zoo
Episode: 0085: Shane Torres and Brandon Collins
Date: February 6, 2026
Host: Zac Amico
Guests: Shane Torres (Coastal Idiots), Brandon Collins (Medium Popcorn)
This episode of Zac Amico's Morning Zoo brings together comics Shane Torres and Brandon Collins for a hilarious, rant-filled morning show. They riff on weird news (including exotic animals on the loose), swap Hollywood rumors and B-movie takes, reminisce about awkward childhood fame, dissect the perils of social media oversharing, and spiral into in-depth, irreverent movie talk. The vibe is chaotic but always funny, with Zac steering his lovable “degenerates” through rapid-fire tangents on pop culture, urban legends, dysfunctional families, celebrity cameos, and more.
[01:31–07:14]
[06:35–08:41]
[09:08–14:30]
[13:33–16:40]
[17:13–24:44]
[24:31–33:34]
[34:40–39:08]
[39:19–47:57]
[52:09–56:38]
[56:42–66:51]
[67:06–70:26]
The episode is uproariously irreverent, packed with ball-busting, random callbacks, and raunchy asides. Zac’s rapport with Shane and Brandon keeps the pace rapid but authentic; their deep bench of pop culture references and behind-the-scenes comedy stories will delight fans of alt-comedy and B-movie lore. There’s real insight in between the wild bits, especially on topics like social media, urban myth, and the ups and downs of comedy fame.
For fans of: Alt-morning shows, stand-up comics riffing, pop culture deep cuts, and podcasts that feel like hanging at a filthy comic hangout.