0086. Joe Gorman and Molly Vivent

Summary

Podcast Summary: Zac Amico's Morning Zoo – Episode 86

Guests: Joe Gorman & Molly Vivant
Date: February 13, 2026
Host: Zac Amico (GaS Digital)
Theme: Caffeine-fueled, irreverent takes on weird news, bizarre viral videos, pop culture, the grotesque, and the occasionally profound, all filtered through the wild humor of Zac Amico and guests Joe Gorman and Molly Vivant.

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Episode Overview

This episode of "Zac Amico's Morning Zoo" brings together comedians Joe Gorman and Molly Vivant for a rollicking ride through the week's strangest viral moments, celebrity culture, conspiracy discussion, sex and kink revelations, dark humor, and some unfiltered animal video commentary. The energy is playful, delightfully chaotic, and thoroughly uncensored.

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Guest Introductions & Relationship Status Updates

• [00:49] Zac Amico excitedly introduces his guests:

  • Joe Gorman – Comic and co-host of "Super Celly Joe's" podcast.
  • Molly Vivant – Comic and content creator. Molly casually announces, “I think I have a boyfriend,” [01:27] triggering a comical dive into her dating via Field, a "sex positive, kinky app" [01:40].

• Field App Tangent [01:40–02:03]:

  • Zac admits he has "no idea" what Field is ("I assumed it was a place for white women to meet black men") leading to playful banter about stereotypes and expectations.
  • Molly: “Everyone thinks that's my thing. Is not my thing.” [01:49]
  • Joe: "No, of course you're not into black guys. Good for you." [01:53]

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Plugs & Announcements [02:11–03:19]

• The trio promote their Instagram / upcoming shows / podcasts.
• Zac details the perks of subscribing to GaS Digital, like extra bonus episodes and his touring dates.

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Subway "Viral Moment" Discussion [03:19–08:25]

• Main Segment: Zac cues up a viral subway altercation video where a white woman yells a slur as the train doors close.
• The group gleefully analyzes the timing, the viral aftermath, and internet culture’s tendency to anoint characters (“The Subway Queen”).
• Quote:
  • Joe: “That every white person fantasy.” [05:12]
  • Molly: “It's an evil thing to say… But there’s a childlike wonder about it.” [05:56]
• They discuss the predictability of backlash, loss of privacy, and social media’s role in inflaming controversy.
• Joe: “You've got to go off the grid for a little bit.” [07:26]
• Zac: “Take a year, maybe move out of the city.” [07:29]
• The group pivots into ruminating on lack of context in viral clips and the futility of searching for “justification” after the fact.

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Super Bowl Halftime & Kid Rock Roast [08:26–11:53]

• Zac: Critiques the artificiality of the Super Bowl halftime, especially obviously fake musicians—“they definitely hired hot ladies to be the violinist.” [08:39]
• Joe: He reminisces about peak Kid Rock at Woodstock 99. [09:19]
• Molly: Expresses love for Toby Keith while skewering Kid Rock’s attempt to replace him [11:01].
• The crew shares cringey stories about “problematic” music and accidental dogwhistling with band merch.
• Zac: “When I was a new metal loser in high school, we all had Pantera shirts with the Confederate flag. Never occurred to us.” [12:05]

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Redneck Culture, Confederate Flags, & Upbringing [12:12–13:22]

• Molly: Candidly shares “begging for a Confederate flag bikini" as a child without understanding the subtext. [12:51]
• Joe: Explains how rural communities in supposedly “liberal” California still have Confederate flag culture. [12:08]
• The group considers regional revisionism and how the “Civil War” is reframed in the South (“war of Northern aggression” [13:10]).

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Celebrity Kids & Piercing Fads: Northwest's Jewelry [13:22–16:38]

• Discussion of North West’s new finger dermal piercings, the celebrities’ desire to appear “alternative,” and how wealth cannot buy “cool.”
• Molly: “True art comes from being from an alternative counterculture weird place… Artist’s kids want to be, but they don’t actually know any weird people.” [14:11]
• All swap tales of bad piercings, stretched ears, and how life circumstances phase out that kind of body modification.

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Kanye Tangent: Mental Health, Family, & the Music Industry [16:38–20:49]

• Darkly comic deep-dive into Kanye West’s alleged mental health decline, addiction rumors, and the impact of his mother’s death.
• Zac: “Kanye’s got an oedipal complex… He very obviously blames himself [for his mother’s death].” [19:01]
• They explore possible reasons for Kanye's erratic behavior ("bipolar + nitrous + industry abuse") and the recurring theme of trauma interlinked with sexual awareness.
• Molly: Highlights how adult hangups are often roots in parents’ actions, knowingly or not [21:38].

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Kinks, Fetishes & Childhood Influences [21:51–23:17]

• Zac: Casually confesses his “clown fetish,” tracing it to “Big Comfy Couch” and his mother’s own clowning history [21:51].
• Molly: Shares her love of clowns and a neighbor growing up who was a clown and Mother Goose [23:03].

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Social Media & Comedians' Porn Habits [23:17–24:25]

• Zac shares the comedy of discovering which peers/celebs follow BBW (plus-size) cam models on Instagram.
• Zac: “I know you're beating off to these land whales like I am.” [24:09]
• Humorous callouts for those who “like” fat women’s pages, concluding with an anecdote about a BBW cam model’s wittiness.

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Diddy’s "Blood Boy" Story—And the Perils of Internet Fakery [25:50–28:29]

• Zac gets taken in by a viral story about Diddy hiring a “blood boy.” Everyone gleefully riffs—“He called me his lucky little blood boy…” [27:10]—until producer Jorge interrupts to reveal it’s a fake viral account.
• Zac: “God damn it. This happens to me every fucking episode.” [28:18]
• They reflect on the real trend of rich people getting IV drips or “party doctors.”

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Lighthearted Gross-Out: Diarrhea & Male Anatomy [29:00–31:18]

• Molly asks if men “shit on their balls” during diarrhea—a rumor, the guys insist, that only applies to “old men with droopy balls.” [29:32]
• Zac describes “long ball days” and the perils of accidentally dipping one’s testicles in toilet water [30:09].

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Twinsies, Grooming, and Kink Chat [31:18–34:45]

• Molly and Joe put on each other's accessories, realizing they look alike; they joke about “matching vaginas & bushes.”
• Zac and Molly bond over armpit hair and its unexpected erotic appeal.
• Zac: “Oh, I want to sniff them… Oh, a stinky armpit and a good wackadoodle, what a good day.” [31:45–32:31]
• Molly is asked to leave her pits hairy on set—there’s “people that want that.” [32:56]
• The trio discuss VR, relaxing tech gadgets, and Zac’s strategy of getting the same gifts for all the women in his life (blankets, rose rollers, etc.).

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Molly’s New Romance & Puppet Obsession [34:45–35:54]

• Molly gushes about being taken to a puppet show by her new boyfriend.
• Zac jokes, “You just took her to see Jeff Dunham,” leading to a brief riff roasting ventriloquists.

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Conspiracy Corner – Illegal Chinese Biolab in Vegas, COVID Origins [35:55–41:03]

• They break down the news of a "Chinese-run" illegal bio lab with vials of “HIV, TB, Ebola” found in Las Vegas [36:41].
• Zac: “I think there’s way more to COVID than we’re ever gonna know… they were working on COVID as a biological weapon.” [37:25]
• The group shares skepticism about official COVID narratives and touches on secret disease research.

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Alex Jones, Discrediting the Truth, & Cancel Culture [41:03–44:49]

• Spirited debate about Alex Jones: was he fed false info to destroy his credibility after exposing real conspiracies?
  • Zac: “I think whoever was feeding him that information needed to discredit him because he was getting too much out.” [39:41]
• The group touches on media censorship, Mel Gibson’s Hollywood “exposés,” and both real and perceived “cancelings.”
• Zac: “If you’re getting pulled over by the police, you’re not going to get out of it by yelling about Jews.” [42:14]

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Assassinations & State Violence [44:49–45:05]

• Zac brings up the lesser-known killings of Martin Luther King Jr’s mother and brother, implicating mysterious “state or movement suppression.” [43:33–44:04]

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Animal Stories Segment

Naked Man at Universal Studios Hollywood [46:08–47:58]

• They riff through the viral news—guy strips naked on the tram. Molly waxes nostalgic for the Florida Universal Studios, while Zac and Joe speculate about doing psychedelics at a theme park.

Mushrooms vs. Acid: Mindset, Setting, and Empathy [47:58–53:34]

• Joe and Molly extoll therapeutic, connective trips on mushrooms, contrasting them with the sometimes overwhelming synthetic intensity of acid.
• Joe: “Every time I’ve taken mushrooms, it makes me feel more connected—it gives an immense sense of empathy and joy.” [48:58]
• Zac shares stories of tripping at a “zombie crawl” and scaring an elderly store clerk while still in full zombie makeup.

Animal Videos: Gorillas Mating, Dead Animals in Zoos [53:34–57:58]

• Crack up over animal videos: gorilla sex at the zoo, Molly’s childhood zoo experiences, and both Zac and Molly describing the disturbing realities of “dead animal freezers” behind the scenes at zoos and vet clinics.

Pet Sematary, Stephen King, and the “Shine” [57:29–59:04]

• Long, geeky dive: Stephen King’s universe and how his characters’ psychic abilities (“the shine”) interconnect stories.
• Molly and Zac reminisce about Pet Sematary and its scariest bits.

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Final Animal Story: Gorilla Eating Placenta & Human Birth in a Car [61:24–69:59]

• Gorillas eat placentas, for health—a practice mimicked (and sometimes exaggerated) by “white women with pills and smoothies.”
• Molly shares a story about a model friend eating another woman’s placenta—against medical advice. [62:23]
• The trio discuss the ethics and grossness of surrogacy and birthing at home, with strong opinions from Molly:
  • “I think [surrogacy] is wrong… It’s worse than sex work by far.” [64:49]
• They conclude with a wild video of a woman giving birth in a car passenger seat and the biological drive behind “baby smell.”

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Memorable Quotes

• Joe Gorman [05:12]: “That’s every white person fantasy.”
• Molly Vivant [05:56]: “There's a childlike wonder about it… like when a kid is finally allowed to say a bad word.”
• Zac Amico [21:51]: “I have a clown fetish.”
• Joe Gorman [28:26]: “But it’s such a nice little fantasy though—a blood boy… at least this guy’s getting paid.”
• Molly Vivant [32:56]: “There’s people that want [long armpit hair].”
• Joe Gorman [48:58]: “Every time I’ve taken mushrooms it makes me feel more connected. I feel immense empathy and joy…”
• Zac Amico [39:41]: “I think whoever was feeding [Alex Jones] that information needed to discredit him because he was getting too much out.”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |----------------|--------------------------------------------| | 00:49–02:11 | Guest intros; Molly’s Field dating story | | 03:19–08:25 | Subway viral video analysis | | 08:26–11:53 | Super Bowl halftime & Kid Rock tangent | | 13:22–16:38 | North West’s piercings & celebrity kids | | 16:38–20:49 | The Kanye Deep Dive | | 21:51–23:17 | Fetish confessions: clowns, childhood, kinks| | 25:50–28:29 | Diddy’s (fake) ‘blood boy’ & IV drips | | 35:55–41:03 | Chinese-run illegal bio lab conspiracy | | 41:03–44:49 | Alex Jones: Discredited whistleblower | | 47:58–53:34 | Mushrooms vs. acid discussion | | 53:34–57:58 | Gorilla sex at the zoo/behind the scenes | | 61:24–65:12 | Gorilla eating placenta, home birth, surrogacy | | 66:27–69:34 | Viral human car birth video |

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Tone & Takeaway

The episode is a non-stop barrage of raw, dark, and ribald comedy, punctuated by real pathos, sharp cultural criticism, and the kind of vulnerable confessions (about sex, drugs, and pop culture) that make the best “morning zoo” radio a must-listen. Expect boundary-pushing jokes, a gleeful embrace of the grotesque, and even genuine philosophical musing—delivered with the quick-fire timing and camaraderie of three friends at a diner at midnight.

If you’re looking for reckless hilarity, the darkest Americana, and refreshingly honest takes on human and animal oddity—THIS show has you covered.

Transcript

[Joe Gorman]

Fill her up.

[Zach Amico]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network.

[Intro/Outro Announcer]

Wake up, it's time to go Zach Amico's got a show Animals are here to play jokes against you Start your day Tell the sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs and cook some beef Laughter's waiting, don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky Grab a coffee and join the cre It's a miko morning too Wake up, wake up, wake up.

[Zach Amico]

Wacka wackadoo doo yeah, It's a Monday here at the Gas Digital Studios and it's me, your other boy, the international superstar Zack Amico, saying welcome to Zach Amigos morning zoo. I am over the moon this morning because across the table from me are two of my favorite people in the world from the Super Sally Joe's podcast, one of my favorites. It's Joe Gorman. How you doing, dog?

[Joe Gorman]

I'm wonderful, man. Thank you so much for having me.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you for being here and next to him from her own endeavors. Very funny. Very beautiful. Molly Vivant. How are you?

[Molly Vivant]

Amazing. I think I have a boyfriend.

[Zach Amico]

That's incredible. How did it happen?

[Molly Vivant]

Field.

[Zach Amico]

Field.

[Molly Vivant]

Yeah, it's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

So I have been in a relationship for so long, I don't know what that means.

[Molly Vivant]

That's like the really sex positive, like kind of can be kinky, freaky app.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. I assumed it was a place for white women to meet black men.

[Joe Gorman]

You can play the field.

[Molly Vivant]

It's not my thing. Everyone thinks that's my thing. Is not my thing.

[Joe Gorman]

No, of course you're not into black guys. Good for you.

[Molly Vivant]

It's too on the nose.

[Joe Gorman]

It's too scary.

[Molly Vivant]

Especially when I was like 50 pounds heavier. I'm not gonna do what you're saying.

[Zach Amico]

You don't wanna be that stereotype. I gotcha. Hey, you know what? I'm happy for you. Congratulations. I wish you nothing but love.

[Molly Vivant]

Thank you.

[Zach Amico]

Let's knock plugs out of the way. Molly. What do you want people to check out, baby?

[Molly Vivant]

Follow me on Instagram. How did I get so sexy?

[Zach Amico]

Fantastic, Mr. Gorman.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, my God. Well, you can follow me online at Joe W. Gorman. I also have my podcast I do with Alex Tomaselli called Super Celly Joes. You can subscribe on YouTube. We'd love some more followers if we can monetize it. You better believe I'm quitting my job.

[Zach Amico]

Fantastic. Hey, guys, you can find me on Instagram at Zach is not funny. You can find all my dates on punch up that live Zachamiko. Gonna be updating that very soon. Looks like I got the Tropicana and Atlantic City coming up. I've got South Bend, Indiana coming up. Maybe possibly a little co headlining tour with my very, very, very talented younger brother, Crack Amico. Oh, and a few other things cooking. And also, hey, if you like this show, go to guest digital.com today and try out my promo code zoo. You get your episodes early ad free and uncensored. You get the live chat, you get the archives. That's right, thousands of episodes of your favorite gas digital shows. Plus you get that bonus Friday episode. We do three of these a week and if you want to see all three, that Friday one is behind the paywall. So check it out. And also I was just with Ralph and he was showing me some new features hitting the website and the app. And I gotta tell you, I'm real impressed with how hard they're working. So thank you guys so, so much. Well, gosh darn, a lot going on. We got animal stories, we got weird reality TV stuff, We got weird kind of conspiracy stuff. But I wasn't going to show it, but I saw a video and I'm sure everyone's seen it already. It's been on Twitter, but my guests haven't seen it. And I want to see their honest to God reaction. There's an altercation on the subway and listen, I don't know what happened. I don't know what happened before they started recording, but all I know is holy shit, the timing on this young woman. I mean, you couldn't have written this and had it be this fucking bananas funny. Jorge, just play without context. Somebody hit your neck, you're supposed to beat they ass.

[Molly Vivant]

Bye bitch. Bye bitch.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, they closed papa. On to the next call.

[Joe Gorman]

Incredible. Oh, I love.

[Zach Amico]

Uhoh. Oh no.

[Molly Vivant]

Go back.

[Joe Gorman]

Okay, so they're at 150. Nice.

[Zach Amico]

Somebody hit your.

[Molly Vivant]

You supposed to beat they ass. Bye. Bye.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, they to the next call. That's awesome.

[Joe Gorman]

That every white person fantasy.

[Zach Amico]

It's the face she hits after.

[Molly Vivant]

Yeah, she kind of looked like Josie Marcelino.

[Joe Gorman]

She's gonna cosplay as that woman next. Cosplay.

[Zach Amico]

It's the. That she. Listen, I do not condone that language. Oh, but it's that she hit it and they went. That was the door clip.

[Joe Gorman]

That was very funny.

[Zach Amico]

What a great instinct of exactly when the door was gonna be unopenable.

[Joe Gorman]

You gotta wait for that being that the doors are closing. And like also it's like you gotta be. If they put their hand in like you're.

[Zach Amico]

Oh man. What? I mean, this What I love about.

[Molly Vivant]

It is that there's, like. I mean, obviously, it's an evil thing to say.

[Zach Amico]

It's a horrible thing to say across the board.

[Molly Vivant]

And I'm from Florida, but, like, it is. And I just like that there's, like, a childlike wonder about it. Like, she was, like. She was like a little kid. Like, she. You know when you, like, get told, like, be quiet. Like a parent comes in your bedroom late at night and, like, don't make a peep, and you wait for them to, like, kind of walk out, and you're like, peep. It was just like that.

[Zach Amico]

It's somewhere between. When you tell a little kid, they're allowed to say one curse.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

On video. And you see which one they pick. And what I would call church giggles. Whereas, like, this is the worst possible thing I could do.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And the react. I mean, the fervent react. I mean, what a. What a reaction.

[Joe Gorman]

That woman's probably gonna lose her job, too.

[Zach Amico]

I. I do have a feeling that woman will be docs.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. It's like, we don't. We don't condone people saying funny words at this business.

[Zach Amico]

They usually.

[Molly Vivant]

It's like a crazy. Like a crackhead that's doing, like, that here. You know what I mean?

[Joe Gorman]

Well, it's like every person has the fantasy of saying it, but you can't give in to those temptations.

[Molly Vivant]

That's white people's crap.

[Joe Gorman]

That's like a. That's bedroom.

[Zach Amico]

People have already dubbed her the Subway Queen. You guys remember the Burger King guy? Yeah, the guy.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

With the Burger King crown. Now people are putting the crown on her, and she's the Subway Queen.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I would assume. She's got to delete all her social media.

[Joe Gorman]

You got to go. You got to go off the grid for a little bit.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Take a year, maybe move out of the city.

[Joe Gorman]

They're also, like, not showing the context. Like, what were those black people doing on. On the train?

[Zach Amico]

It seems like there was an altercation.

[Joe Gorman]

Something happened because, like, that other guy was filming. We got to get his footage, too.

[Zach Amico]

That's the foot. See, that's the move, because maybe he has what started it.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Molly Vivant]

I can guarantee you that no matter what the context is, like, people are not gonna be like, you know what, white girl? You would probably.

[Zach Amico]

No one's gonna go, ah, you get one.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Nah, no one's that chill.

[Molly Vivant]

Especially not people that would care to docks or go after in the first place.

[Zach Amico]

But, you know, hey, run, queen, run. Yeah, I go on The Lamb lady, she'll be. Get out of here. I'll see you on True Social.

[Joe Gorman]

Don't worry, sweetheart. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, you can. That'll be that. That should have just been the turning point halftime show.

[Joe Gorman]

It would be pretty cool that on.

[Zach Amico]

A loop for a half an hour. Would have been much better.

[Joe Gorman]

Would have been more fun.

[Molly Vivant]

Would have gone wild. For real.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, that. I did watch parts of the. Parts of it. What a nightmare.

[Joe Gorman]

I was at a Super bowl party. They refused to put it on.

[Molly Vivant]

Well, yeah, I don't give them the viewership in the. In the live.

[Zach Amico]

I say the. The funny thing for me was the. The string players who obviously weren't really playing and had no idea how to play. Like, they definitely hired hot ladies to be like the violinist and shit.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And they're just new. Like, they have no idea what they're doing. How hard was it to just get. I mean, I guess maybe.

[Joe Gorman]

I guess it was probably to get.

[Zach Amico]

A classical violin player to do that show. Must have been.

[Molly Vivant]

They thought they were going to, like, stream everywhere, Right. And then they couldn't because of licensing.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, they couldn't. They couldn't even broadcast it on X.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it was crazy because it was terrible. Thing goes, Kid Rock was awful. He was like, lip sync and bar with your one song.

[Joe Gorman]

Damn, it's one good song. You got to. I mean, like, when I think of Kid Rock, I think of like the ideal Kid rock from woodstock99.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Came out with like the fur coat. Oh, my God, that one. Fucking rock. When that fucking woman was like, slamming the drums.

[Zach Amico]

That is an excellent era.

[Joe Gorman]

That was. That was peak Kid Rock.

[Zach Amico]

But that's also fucking 27 years ago.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, man.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, when he tells people to dust off their Bibles.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You used to be a rapper who talked about how you had to fuck underage girls.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Call it statutory. I call it cool.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. That was literally a lyric. You've seen old Kid Rock, right, With the flat top?

[Molly Vivant]

Yeah, I have that.

[Joe Gorman]

That was like. What was it? It was like his. His first album. Yeah, that's right.

[Zach Amico]

Grits for breakfast.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. And he had like the like, hidden play. Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

How do people not see through that?

[Joe Gorman]

Well, he's like, did they ever. Do you ever see the footage of, like, the house Kid Rock grew up in?

[Zach Amico]

We. We saw that on the show a few weeks ago. Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Big ass mansion and stuff.

[Zach Amico]

Tennis court, everything.

[Joe Gorman]

And he's much like the Buddha where he gave that all up for enlightenment.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, sure.

[Molly Vivant]

What Wasn't his thing. What didn't. Wasn't there like a famous clip of him being like Monica Lewinsky' or Do you know what I'm talking.

[Zach Amico]

He has a bunch. Yeah, he has.

[Joe Gorman]

He.

[Zach Amico]

He's been outspoken, but never, never like.

[Molly Vivant]

A loser bootlicker to the extreme.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Well, his last two singles were People Accused of being Weird Al because it was so out of control. Hilariously, like boomery. Like he did we the People.

[Molly Vivant]

He didn't take Toby Keith's place and he 100.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Molly Vivant]

I'm sorry, you can't even me someone who is so on the. Like, I love Toby Keith. You know what I mean? Like, I love that bootlicker music, but like nothing.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, listen, I had to turn my headphones down earlier because I was.

[Joe Gorman]

I was.

[Zach Amico]

I was listening to David Allen co in the car and I maybe was forgot about my driver. I was like, oh, I'm listening to this pretty loud. It wasn't the song you think, but I forgot that in the song. Lay Me Down Some Rails. He does hit a hard R in it.

[Molly Vivant]

Yeah. I used to have a really cool old Merle Haggard shirt and it was like, definitely like. I think it was like a. It was like American flags and it was like, if you don't like it, leave it type shirt. And I would forget.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Molly Vivant]

When I was wearing it. That like people don't know my views. So like, it's kind of ironic. But I do love Merle Haggit, you know what I mean?

[Zach Amico]

I've gotten a few people think I'm dog whistling. I wear David Allen Co shit and oh. But then I think like, dude, when I was fucking new metal loser in high school, we all had Pantera shirts with the Confederate flag.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. You didn't think about that.

[Zach Amico]

It never occurred to us.

[Joe Gorman]

There are fucking kids in my high school and I grew up in like California. This was in like liberal ass. Half Moon Bay, California, they would have like the Confederate flag bind because there's like a big farm community out there. So you forget like outside of like major fucking metropolitan areas, like the fucking.

[Zach Amico]

The first time I was ever drive by hit with a can and called it was in Pittsburgh. I literally got off a bus in Manessa, Pennsylvania. It was about an hour outside of Pittsburgh. And as my foot hit the ground, I got hit with a cannature and it was a truck with a Confederate flag on the back. Damn. And I was like, I couldn't be mad the time again. Great timing.

[Molly Vivant]

Well, I'm from such a redneck place in the fifth grade, I was, like, begging for a Confederate flag bikini, But I thought I called it the rebel flag. Like, I truly did not know.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Because they say, like, it's.

[Jorge (Producer/Tech)]

It's.

[Joe Gorman]

It's not about the racism. It's about the culture.

[Molly Vivant]

The culture. I was in fifth grade, so my.

[Zach Amico]

History teacher in high school said that when he. Because he was from Georgia, when he went to school, the Civil War was referred to as the war of Northern aggression.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Or the war between the states.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. They did not say civil War. All right, we got a bunch of silly. We got a bunch of silly cherry. I want to start with this one because apparently crazy runs pretty deep in the west family. Have you seen Northwest's new jewelry?

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, I bet it's her finger piercings.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, it is.

[Molly Vivant]

They're cool, just not for a 12 year old.

[Zach Amico]

It's also just proof that, like, no matter how much money you have, garbage people are gonna be garbage. Yeah. Bring up.

[Joe Gorman]

Whoa.

[Zach Amico]

First of all, that's a lot of work.

[Joe Gorman]

And she's 12 years old. That's a 12 year old.

[Molly Vivant]

Yeah. They're rejecting really bad.

[Zach Amico]

My thing is how red they are. Yeah.

[Molly Vivant]

I don't even think it's about them being trash. I actually think it's because they're so rich and they're so this that they're like, I can be cool and alternative because that's where, like, true art comes from. Is like being from an alternative counterculture, like, weird place, you know? And they're so obviously like the culture.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Molly Vivant]

They're. They're anti that. So they're trying really hard to be like, no, I'm cool. Like, Kanye didn't come from money, so he came from, like, a weird place of being an artist.

[Jorge (Producer/Tech)]

Yes.

[Molly Vivant]

And I think that's part of, like, artists. Kids want to be so bad. They want to be artists, but, like, they have no adversity. They don't actually know any weird people.

[Joe Gorman]

They have nothing to say.

[Molly Vivant]

Yeah, they have nothing to say.

[Zach Amico]

I think one girl in high school had her. The webbing between her pointer and her thumb pierced. And I remember that looking like shit.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, it's.

[Molly Vivant]

Yeah, it doesn't look great.

[Zach Amico]

Can we close up a little on it? Where. Because they are not good.

[Molly Vivant]

I had dermals in my face when I was younger, and that getting caught on anything sucked so bad, So I can't imagine.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Molly Vivant]

When she gets that con.

[Zach Amico]

I had a nipple ring reject, so. So I have a big nipple. Little nipple situation.

[Joe Gorman]

I had my ears gauged out two.

[Molly Vivant]

Big Ones with no piercings.

[Joe Gorman]

Now it's like, back to normal. You just take them out and, like, everything, like, closes up.

[Molly Vivant]

I had mine stressed, stretched, and they're still not.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, you still got, like, a little bit. They look pierced, but, like, they're closed. So it's like, I'd have to get them repaired if I wanted to, and I don't think so. It's like, I'm not going to get back into that at 41.

[Zach Amico]

I think if I didn't have a job where I wore headphones all the time, I would have all my earrings I used to have, but it's just a pain in the ass.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, you have to maintain and all that.

[Zach Amico]

Bring that back up, Jor. Yeah, they don't even. Am I crazy saying they don't even look straight on the one side?

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, it's uneven, and it could just.

[Zach Amico]

Be the way she's holding her hands, but it just looks like.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. When she gonna get plastic surgery and look pretty like Kylie and the others?

[Molly Vivant]

No, she is pretty, but this is what I think. I also think, like, if your kid has Kanye as a dad who's, like, publicly doing all the. That he's been doing. And also, from what I hear, Kim is like, he hasn't seen his kid and kids in months. You're probably gonna be like, all right, you can get your weird piercings. You know what I mean? Like, I'm gonna let you have this because your dad is not in your life, even though he's very much alive. And I think.

[Joe Gorman]

I think Kim is keeping Kanye from his kids. That's what I think. I'm Team Kanye.

[Molly Vivant]

No, not at all. I mean, he did apologize to the Jews. That was good.

[Zach Amico]

He did. I think that was an important thing.

[Joe Gorman]

You got to kiss the ring. Yeah, you gotta. If you want a job in Hollywood, you gotta kiss the ring.

[Zach Amico]

Sure.

[Molly Vivant]

I feel like he's not one to do that. I think he actually is like, yeah, that was a crazy manic episode. I should probably chill out.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I think he's a combination of a manic episode and that doctor that's got him on the night. Cause not my favorite person. Probably the worst person I've ever been in a car with. Milo Yiannopoulos. Spent an hour in a car with him once and really thought about killing myself halfway through.

[Joe Gorman]

Damn.

[Zach Amico]

Really? I mean, just had that car crashed, and we died in it. A. I would have been very upset that I would have had to be in the article.

[Joe Gorman]

So it's not like a.

[Zach Amico]

But there would have been a part of me that was like, yes.

[Joe Gorman]

So it's not like a fucking bit with him. It's not just like a public facade that he was.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, he was a fucking cunt in texts.

[Joe Gorman]

Yikes.

[Zach Amico]

He's just on. Oh, I hate I. Something about him just fucking. I hated being around him. But he said that when. Because he was working for Kanye, I believe. And he said when he quit that he's got a doctor or dentist or somebody. When he got his grills, that got him hooked hard on nitrous.

[Joe Gorman]

Damn.

[Zach Amico]

And that to me is probably because remember how crazy Steve O. Was when he was going through the nitrous thing? So I think that's what I think it was a combination of bipolar and.

[Molly Vivant]

Nitrous and Jews being a common denominator in his life. Because think about this. The slavery music industry that he kept talking about, like, that is true. Record labels are like rapists. And, you know, then there's the doctors that gave him the medicine that probably made him go crazy.

[Joe Gorman]

Western medicine. Poison.

[Molly Vivant]

Yeah. So I think, unfortunately, Jews do have really high positions in a lot of areas. So it did start to probably affect his mental health. And he was like, there's one common denomination.

[Joe Gorman]

And his mom died too.

[Zach Amico]

So I think, and I've said this before, Jewish. I think he blames. So he was paying for her to get new tits and she died on the table. Right.

[Joe Gorman]

Something like that.

[Molly Vivant]

That's so sad.

[Zach Amico]

I think he blames himself. And I think, A, I think that's what really set him off. B, and I've gone through this before, so I'll do it quick. If you go through a bunch of his lyrics, he's very obviously got an oedipal complex.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Because he's. So he's got the unreleased song that was set to moving out called Mama's Boyfriend.

[Joe Gorman]

And it's.

[Zach Amico]

How about. He used to hear his mom having sex when he was a kid, and she would lock him out of the room, and he hated all her boyfriends. And he would say, I'm mama's boyfriend. Then when you listen to the one where he talks about he sucked his cousin's. He gave his cousin head.

[Molly Vivant]

Oh, I forgot about that. Damn, that was crazy.

[Zach Amico]

He says, he very weirdly words it and he says, we found magazines in my mom's closet. Not like Penthouse or stuff we'd seen before. It was hard. He found hardcore porn and then him and his cousin tried to do it. So I think he weirdly blames his mom for his fucked up sexual Past because had he not found hardcore porn in her closet, his cousin might. Now, you did suck your cousin's dick. I don't think there's any blame. Yeah, the big. You know, when you point a finger, four more point back at you.

[Molly Vivant]

And it's hard, too, with kids stuff like, with that kind of stuff because it's. It's two kids, you're like, it's such a great hair.

[Joe Gorman]

They don't understand, like, what they're doing.

[Molly Vivant]

Yeah. They're, like, figuring it out. But obviously, yeah. If it comes from a place of. Maybe he blames them. His mom, because he found her things.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, I could definitely. I mean, I was a grown man and I was still trying to figure out what I was into sexually.

[Molly Vivant]

I mean, same constantly. I think I found out something that I'm into recently and I'm scared to tell people.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. What is?

[Molly Vivant]

Come on. And, you know, I say everything. I'm scared to tell people because of what it could mean.

[Joe Gorman]

Ooh.

[Molly Vivant]

It's under an umbrella of something that I wouldn't be comfortable identifying as.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, then you don't. I mean, you don't have to share.

[Molly Vivant]

I may tell you off.

[Zach Amico]

That's fine. I don't want you to feel uncomfort.

[Joe Gorman]

Let us know in the comments.

[Molly Vivant]

Yeah. Guess that's a fun game.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yeah. If there's any good ones in the. In the. The comments, please let us know. But, yeah, I used to think. I mean, I definitely went through. I was like. I thought maybe I was into getting choked. Not really my thing. But I went through a phase of that. I went through a bunch of different shit. I think I just wanted to try kinky stuff.

[Molly Vivant]

Yeah. And I think most people. Adults struggle with, like, oh, the things that are up about me have something to do with something my parents did knowingly or unknowingly. And then like, struggle with how you feel about them or whatever. I think that's super common.

[Zach Amico]

I have a clown fetish.

[Joe Gorman]

That is my number one thing, like, Harley Quinn type.

[Zach Amico]

That's. That's hack.

[Molly Vivant]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Used to be Harley Quinn until that. Everybody had that.

[Joe Gorman]

That's the doorway in for.

[Zach Amico]

Well, for me, it's. I've said it before. It's the girl from the Big Comfy Couch.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Molly Vivant]

You know, it's named after Molly the Dolly from Big Comfy Couch. My sister picked my name from that show.

[Zach Amico]

But, yeah, that's like my. I remember being a kid.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And when she does the clock and, like, spread her legs, I remember not getting Why? I loved it.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Molly Vivant]

Oh, yeah. I actually have thought about doing some kind of dress up like her before for a video.

[Zach Amico]

Well, try it out. See how it goes.

[Molly Vivant]

Zach, order a custom.

[Zach Amico]

Put it on a paywall. But yeah, 100%. I've had girls dress up like clowns a bunch, and it's been like my thing. And dude, when I was a little kid, my mom used to volunteer as a clown.

[Joe Gorman]

Uh. Oh.

[Zach Amico]

And I have a picture of me at like 4 years old, and we're both clowns. And yeah, that's probably a thing. That's probably a weird thing that fucks me up.

[Molly Vivant]

I've always loved clowns. And my, like, my mom's friend and our neighbor growing up was a clown. And Mother Goose and I was the only kid. Like, my siblings hated clowns. They were scared. And I loved her. Roro the clown. She was special.

[Zach Amico]

See, there's something about it. Damn the amount. Dude. It's so funny because I'll catch other. My favorite thing on Instagram is when I add a hot girl and I see what other comedians are perverts.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, man. Yeah, when they, like, if you're following like a porn star or something, and then you see like, your buddy's name likes the photo.

[Zach Amico]

It's like, whenever it's fat chicks, I'm always, oh, what black comedians am I gonna see in this?

[Molly Vivant]

No, but there's always way more interesting. The few white ones.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Molly Vivant]

No. Yeah. Way more interesting. That, like, only date skinny girls.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I've gotten. Mullen called me out because he. He saw one of my fat, giant ass women.

[Joe Gorman]

Nice.

[Zach Amico]

And he clicked on it. It said, followed by Zach amico.

[Joe Gorman]

That's always funny.

[Zach Amico]

And he called me out on the air. On it, Mullen. But I'll catch a few. Yeah. And some are, like, not comedians like regular people. I know. And I'd be like, ah, you dirty little monkey.

[Intro/Outro Announcer]

I know you.

[Zach Amico]

I know you're beating off to these fucking. These land whales like I am. Oh, when I dated the. I dated a BBW cab model and whatever dudes wouldn't tip her, she would go, what are you whale watching for?

[Joe Gorman]

That's cool.

[Molly Vivant]

I should have used that when I was fat.

[Zach Amico]

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[Joe Gorman]

Whoa. No. But every new thing I learn about Diddy is. Is fascinating.

[Molly Vivant]

It's honestly kind of making that, like, I don't know, the Epstein stuff so bad right now. I think it's making Diddy seem like.

[Zach Amico]

Like small potatoes.

[Molly Vivant]

Yeah. Yesterday I went down a hole and I felt really sick.

[Joe Gorman]

Yikes. Diddy went down a hole too?

[Molly Vivant]

Yeah, a few. And they were really small. They were too small.

[Zach Amico]

Well, so this guy's come out. And of course, this isn't confirmed or anything. This guy had an interview where he has claimed that he was being paid by Diddy to go onto boats to international waters.

[Joe Gorman]

Nice.

[Zach Amico]

And give him blood transfusions to keep him young because he's a universal donor and sober his whole life and in good shape. So, Jorge, can you bring that up? And it's some fucking weird.

[Fake Puffy's Blood Boy (Guest Clip)]

Puffy's blood boy from 2004 to 2014.

[Joe Gorman]

Me don't think I'm stupid, but what's a blood boy?

[Fake Puffy's Blood Boy (Guest Clip)]

So when somebody parties too hard or isn't living right, they want a fresh blood in their system.

[Intro/Outro Announcer]

Right.

[Fake Puffy's Blood Boy (Guest Clip)]

I didn't drink smoke weed. I didn't eat any pork. None of that. Diddy saw me and he was like, yo, I got a job for you. He was like, I want that blood. And I was like, whoa. And he drops ten grand on the table.

[Joe Gorman]

Ten large.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Fake Puffy's Blood Boy (Guest Clip)]

He said, I want to pint of.

[Zach Amico]

Your blood right now.

[Joe Gorman]

So that was a one off, or you start.

[Zach Amico]

No that.

[Fake Puffy's Blood Boy (Guest Clip)]

That was the beginning. I'm a university universal donor. He thought I was special. He called me his lucky little blood boy. Every, like, three months, he would fly me down to Miami. And this was the crazy part. He never actually wanted to do it on land. It wasn't legal at that time. So we would get on a boat and he would take us to what he would call Oconus outside of the continental United States. And on his yacht, he would just drain blood and he would just drain me.

[Zach Amico]

Just drain me.

[Fake Puffy's Blood Boy (Guest Clip)]

Dude, look at him. From 2004 to 2014. And facts tell me if he aged.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, facts.

[Joe Gorman]

And he's aging. Now that he's in prison, he's not all of a sudden father time caught up with him.

[Zach Amico]

You know what I mean?

[Fake Puffy's Blood Boy (Guest Clip)]

For nine years, the majority of puffy was made up with my blood.

[Joe Gorman]

What's the problem? That's. I mean, that sounds like typical billionaire. Like there's that one anti aging billionaire who's using his son's blood for transfusions. At least this guy's getting paid.

[Zach Amico]

That is true.

[Molly Vivant]

Yeah. But how old was the. How old was he?

[Zach Amico]

He's probably a teenager.

[Jorge (Producer/Tech)]

Hate to burst your bubble there, fake. Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Damn it.

[Jorge (Producer/Tech)]

I noticed this when I. When he first sent it. There's a bunch. There's some comedians, like, commenting on it.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, no, I got caught.

[Jorge (Producer/Tech)]

This is just a whole profile of making fake attempting viral.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, God damn it.

[Joe Gorman]

That's very funny.

[Zach Amico]

God damn it.

[Molly Vivant]

At least we didn't fall for AI.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, man, I suck. This happens to me every fucking episode.

[Joe Gorman]

But it's such a nice little fantasy, though. A blood boy. Now I kind of want to try that because, like, you get like those like, IV drips where it's like vitamin B. Yeah. So if you have like a healthy blood that Maybe doesn't have STDs floating around, and I'd love to know what that's like. I've.

[Zach Amico]

I've heard of a few comics that when they party hard, they get a doctor on the bus.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Why not?

[Zach Amico]

And do the IV drip to take.

[Molly Vivant]

Care of mobile people that come to you wherever you are.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yeah. And they take care. You have a bloody Mary and an IV in the morning.

[Joe Gorman]

You.

[Zach Amico]

You're all set to go back on another day of a tour.

[Molly Vivant]

It's also good if you're just sick. I've. I know someone who owns a company like that.

[Zach Amico]

Have you done it?

[Molly Vivant]

No, but I've been. My best friend does it a lot. And so when she, like, if she has, like, A really bad stomach ache. Like if you have diarrhea or something, you're dehydrated, it's like good to have an I.V. come to your.

[Joe Gorman]

I do that.

[Zach Amico]

I would just get an IV of more diarrhea.

[Molly Vivant]

Wait, wait. I have a question. I saw a tick tock that said when guys get diarrhea they on their balls. Is that true?

[Joe Gorman]

No. That wives tale.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I think you would have to have really long balls.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, you have to be like an old ass man with like the droopy balls.

[Molly Vivant]

So like eventually all men on their balls.

[Joe Gorman]

I mean eventually, but that's like, that's a sign. You have to like go out to pasture, you know.

[Zach Amico]

Now I have what I've referred to as long ball days. Where and some clackers. Not always, but I have had times in my life, especially in the summer.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Where I have sat on the toilet and I'm steeping and my balls are in the water.

[Joe Gorman]

You see, that's why I have a micro penis. So this doesn't affect me.

[Zach Amico]

Well, I'm not. I'm not saying I have a big thing.

[Molly Vivant]

Balls are different.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it's like. Thank you, doctor. It's all internal. Thank you, doctor. Vivent.

[Joe Gorman]

I have what's called a mangina.

[Zach Amico]

But yeah, I've hit. I've hit the water a few times.

[Molly Vivant]

Now I'm more scared about how we're twins. Have you guys noticed we look alike? Wait, I'm like. I'm serious.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, do you want me to wear the hat?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just switch and see if people notice.

[Molly Vivant]

We look so much alike. It's actually.

[Joe Gorman]

There we go.

[Zach Amico]

This is my. This is. This is my kink.

[Joe Gorman]

Here we go.

[Molly Vivant]

I need my glasses back in like a minute because I'll get dizzy.

[Joe Gorman]

No, you got bad vision.

[Molly Vivant]

No, I don't.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, you do.

[Zach Amico]

You can't.

[Joe Gorman]

If that. If that's your. If those are your glasses.

[Molly Vivant]

Really? I don't think it's that bad.

[Joe Gorman]

Incredible. I have like 2015.

[Molly Vivant]

You can hold the hat if you want.

[Zach Amico]

That's okay because I do I something hot about it.

[Molly Vivant]

Wait, but without the hat we really do look so.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Look at this.

[Molly Vivant]

Look at our light eyes and dark hair.

[Zach Amico]

I think you're both adorable.

[Molly Vivant]

And we both have the same vagina.

[Joe Gorman]

Do you have a bush? We both have a nice mangina and stuff.

[Molly Vivant]

Do you have a bush?

[Joe Gorman]

Yes.

[Molly Vivant]

Me too.

[Zach Amico]

Hell yeah, dude.

[Joe Gorman]

Hell yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Bring it back. Have you ever grown your armpits out?

[Intro/Outro Announcer]

Out?

[Molly Vivant]

They're so grown out right now. Wait.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, put it behind a paywall.

[Zach Amico]

Yes, I think. Oh, my God. Oh, I want to sniff them.

[Molly Vivant]

They're always like, I just did like a video where I was being a. And being like, I guess you can fucking lick my stinky ass armpits. And I never. I never play. Like, I'm always so like, oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

One of my favorites.

[Molly Vivant]

So funny you say that.

[Zach Amico]

I used to have a chick that would come over and she was like a real, like, Like, Like a party. Like a party chick. Like she like. Like a club kid.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Like, she would go out dancing all night and whenever she was in Brooklyn, she would come at like 5 in the morning and no, you know, there was nothing to be expected. But usually my thing was because she would be sweaty and like be sweating out the booze and I. She would let me jerk off while I smelled her armpits and jerk off on her butt and. Oh my God, a stinky armpit and a good wackadoodle. Oh, man, what a good day. Oh, I love armpits. They're so hot. Yeah, they not like.

[Molly Vivant]

Well, normally, not always have mine like this. I'm not that stinky ever. And I don't really shower that much. It's like a miracle. But yeah, normally I always have long armpit hair unless I'm shooting a scene, because most of the time. But I shot like a. A kind of a couple scenes the other day and they hit me up and were like, if your armpits are hairy. Because I told them I normally do. They were like, leave it. There's like people that want that.

[Zach Amico]

I was like, okay, I love it. I don't know what it is. There's something about sniffing and it's not the smell. It's the. I think it's the pheromones like that that's like. There's a difference between stink and lady smell.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, it's the way God give you the link.

[Molly Vivant]

Oh, wait, but it's in VR. Do you have a VR headset?

[Joe Gorman]

Who doesn't? It's 2026.

[Molly Vivant]

I. I don't have one. I have an eye massager that looks like one.

[Joe Gorman]

I have one of those too. Is it heated?

[Molly Vivant]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

And it plays music?

[Molly Vivant]

Yeah, but I have the new version, so it doesn't automatically play music.

[Joe Gorman]

I have to turn the music off on mine. But it does like the eye massage.

[Molly Vivant]

And it also heats air pressure.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, they're good.

[Molly Vivant]

There's a cooling mask option on the new one.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, okay.

[Molly Vivant]

Best purchase ever. Renfo Shout out. I want to be Spoiled.

[Joe Gorman]

There you go. Hell, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I buy. I, I, I, I, I. So I do this thing. I buy all the women in my life the same present for stuff. So, like, this year, it was slankets, like, big, fuzzy, like to the floor blankets with sleeves and hooks.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But one year it was rose quartz rollers that you keep in the freezer.

[Joe Gorman]

Yes.

[Molly Vivant]

Those are nice.

[Joe Gorman]

Those are nice, dude.

[Zach Amico]

I hit a hit every. That was one year. The next year was cloud slides, like house shoes. And this year was the. The. The sleeve and hood blankets. Nice across the board hits.

[Molly Vivant]

You know what? Women will also, like, maybe for next year or this year is Peter Thomas Roth. Is the brand the Eye, like, from under Eye? Yeah.

[Intro/Outro Announcer]

Okay.

[Molly Vivant]

And I keep them in the fridge. They're the best ones I've ever had. They're expensive, but they come with a lot. They're probably like 60 for, like, a thing this big. Yeah, they're amazing.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I mean, you gotta take care of your.

[Molly Vivant]

Like, it's so good.

[Zach Amico]

I wouldn't spend it on myself, but you spend it on your ladies.

[Molly Vivant]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

The women in your life.

[Molly Vivant]

I'm so excited. Now I have someone that does that for me.

[Zach Amico]

Excellent.

[Molly Vivant]

He took me to a puppet show the other day.

[Zach Amico]

You love puppets.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, like the Muppets.

[Molly Vivant]

Like, it wasn't the Muppets. It was different puppets. I'm. I'm obsessed with puppets.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh.

[Molly Vivant]

They bring out, like, they heal my inner child. It's really nice.

[Joe Gorman]

Nice, nice. Like a sock puppet.

[Molly Vivant]

They're all kinds. These were actually really beautiful puppets that were not, like, silly.

[Joe Gorman]

So not sifle and Ollie?

[Molly Vivant]

No, they were like. I've actually never seen puppets like this. They were really beautiful and well done and, like.

[Zach Amico]

You just took her to see Jeff Dunham.

[Joe Gorman]

I've never seen something like this before. One was a dead terrorist. The other was an old man.

[Zach Amico]

There's a jalapeno on a stick. I've never seen that before.

[Joe Gorman]

He's taking it to daring. New level.

[Zach Amico]

This guy's a fucking genius.

[Molly Vivant]

Oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

And it's so funny because you think Jeff Dunham's a hack. And then you see that Terry guy who won, I think America's Got Talent.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then you're like, oh, Jeff Dunham's a comedian. This guy fucking stinks.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, Jeff Dunham catches a lot of strays, but whatever. Yeah, he seems like a good dude.

[Zach Amico]

Something for everybody. I got no problem.

[Joe Gorman]

You gotta make a living, man. You know?

[Zach Amico]

All right. More Zach's crazy conspiracy shit. So Hori. You can tell me in a few minutes why this one's fake. Federal investigators uncover a suspected illegal biological lab inside a Las Vegas residence. And I'm going to say a legal lab full of diseases. Guess the ethnicity of the person running it.

[Molly Vivant]

Chinese.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, I was going to say.

[Zach Amico]

And Jorge, tell us about it.

[Molly Vivant]

Is that what you are?

[Joe Gorman]

No.

[Jorge (Producer/Tech)]

Yeah. So they found. They went into a home in Vegas and there was a bunch of counterfeit drugs from China. And it was all sorts of shenanigans. Here. I'm gonna bring up the article. All sorts of the fun stuff. Hiv, tb, Ebola. Remember Ebola? Throwing it back. All sorts of fun stuff. And like, all these weird bottles. Very, very not safe for work.

[Zach Amico]

So as a lab owned by Chinese nationals, and they apparently had samples of hiv, tuberculosis on a bunch of shit.

[Molly Vivant]

Maybe they were doing something helpful, though, like looking for cures and stuff.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, they just have a vial of my blood, is all that article saying.

[Zach Amico]

So I am 20, inclusion of tuberculosis. And a friend of the lab was noted Ebola.

[Joe Gorman]

Ooh.

[Zach Amico]

So my. I think there's way more to Covid than we're ever gonna know.

[Molly Vivant]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I don't know if you guys know this. There was a Harvard professor and Jorge, you could fact check me on this one. Who was arrested for going to China secretly and doing disease research back and forth from Harvard. And guess where he was going? Wuhan. Whoa. And it was right before COVID hit. And they think maybe he or somebody, because it was him and two nationals were traveling back and forth with samples. And I think either somebody accidentally got it or the sample got out.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And that they were working on Covid as a biological weapon.

[Joe Gorman]

I could believe that. I. I 100% believe that. Like, there's so much manufactured diseases out there, and it probably just got out of hand.

[Zach Amico]

Molly, I'm sorry, is this. Is this getting.

[Molly Vivant]

No, it's. It's fine. I'm just thinking about it. I mean, I don't now, at this point, I don't put anything past anything.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Molly Vivant]

They're eating babies. Like, I thought Roseanne Barr was insane. And now I'm not sure she's the.

[Joe Gorman]

Most reasonable person in America.

[Molly Vivant]

No, I started thinking. I was. Like yesterday I had this thought where I was like, damn, poor Alex Jones. Because, yeah, obviously he did that horrible thing about Sandy Hook. And now he's paying for it, supposedly. But I think he might have a loophole to get out of it. And, like, filing certain ways that he doesn't have to pay the money, but, like, I think he knew about. Obviously he kind of knew about all this up. And we kind of gaslit him into being like, you're just a psycho and like, we're not gonna listen to you. And that probably what made him say the. About Sandy Hook. He was like in a.

[Zach Amico]

Here's my. My take. And I will. I will take this one on the chin.

[Joe Gorman]

You.

[Zach Amico]

You. Neither of my guests are co. Signing this.

[Joe Gorman]

I probably will. You know, I die for you, Zach. Come on.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you, buddy.

[Molly Vivant]

I wouldn't, but, like.

[Zach Amico]

Well, I appreciate it. You showed me your armpit. I'm. You're good.

[Molly Vivant]

You can sniff it after if you want.

[Zach Amico]

I think Alex Jones did have access to very qualified inside information. And I think he was way ahead of people on a ton of shit.

[Molly Vivant]

Bohemian Grove.

[Zach Amico]

A ton of shit. And I think whoever was feeding him that information needed to discredit him because he was getting too much. Right. And getting too much out. So I think they started feeding him bullshit it so that he would also report that and therefore make the other stuff he was saying look like he was crazy.

[Molly Vivant]

Yeah, I think that's super valid. I also think there's a chance that even if they weren't feeding him the wrong information, if you know this type of, like, it's affecting everyone to know. To find out, even with the redacted bars on paper, but you're reading around it and being like, what the. If you're seeing these things and you know it and you're like the only one who's like, this is up and this is happening and no one else believes it. Like, your reality becomes skewed and you're like, what is real and what is not? And you're questioning everything to the point of, is this real? You know what I mean? Is what is in front of me real? I don't know.

[Joe Gorman]

And like, you shouldn't chart. Like, a journalist shouldn't have to pay for reporting what they feel is the truth too. That also sets a precedent where it's like, well, I don't want to report on this. What if they sue me and I have to to lose all my money? And now look at all the people in Sandy Hook are now the highest paid actors ever.

[Zach Amico]

Jesus Christ, Joe.

[Joe Gorman]

I'm just goofing.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. No, I really do think he nailed a lot of shit.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And looking back, holy shit, he nailed a lot of shit. But I do think that somebody at some point in whatever Cabal meets went, we gotta fucking discredit this guy.

[Joe Gorman]

Remember when Mel Gibson was saying, like, like, you know, I'm leaving Hollywood. There's nothing but like, ped. Pedophiles and sex traffickers. And like, everyone in Hollywood is like, in on, you know, children and drinking their blood. And everyone's like, oh, Mel Gibson's crazy. And now all like, this shit's coming out with the Epstein and the. You know what?

[Molly Vivant]

Wasn't that. Wasn't Mel Gibson, like, isn't he like a racist? And like, didn't he get in trouble for being like. Or he hates Jews.

[Joe Gorman]

No, he loves God. Did you ever see the Passion of the Christ?

[Molly Vivant]

No, I haven't.

[Joe Gorman]

Very erotic.

[Jorge (Producer/Tech)]

He.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, he. He has a very anti semi. I believe his father as well. It was a noted anti Semite. And he got. He. So he was a fucking drunk and he got pulled over and started yelling about Jews, which is never good. I'll say it right here. If you're getting pulled over by the police, you're not going to get out of it by yelling about Jews.

[Molly Vivant]

I don't even know if there's a lot of Jewish police officers. But yeah, it's just like, someone's gonna be like, okay, you're crazy. Wait, was he starting to say this stuff about, oh, Hollywood is kids and all this stuff when he got in trouble, though?

[Joe Gorman]

No, it was after.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but.

[Molly Vivant]

But again, like, it wasn't before then. So people were like, coming for him. He's like, if I'm going down there, I'll go. And down.

[Zach Amico]

You know, and there aren't a lot of Jewish cops because Jews can't. With pigs.

[Joe Gorman]

You gotta drop something. That was a good one. That was a great one. Zach, attack the ship.

[Molly Vivant]

You know.

[Zach Amico]

You got a bag?

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, look, he's making him suck his own dick.

[Zach Amico]

So, yes, that is. That is how I. I do. Honestly, I do. Yeah, I think he kind of got the short end of the stick because there's a number of other people in his world who they just killed. Yeah, like that. Or just died.

[Joe Gorman]

Very mysterious.

[Zach Amico]

Mysteriously, you know, somebody just showed up on their door and blew their brains out.

[Joe Gorman]

Right. Or it's like, oh, they're missing and they probably. Probably a suicide. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe.

[Zach Amico]

Do you guys know about. Because everyone obviously knows Martin Luther King was assassinated.

[Joe Gorman]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

Have you ever heard about his mom and his brother?

[Joe Gorman]

No.

[Zach Amico]

His mom was killed playing in the organ at church by a black panther.

[Intro/Outro Announcer]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

And his brother, and this isn't funny, was found at the bottom of his own pool in his underwear. And they said he drowned, but the autopsy said he had no water in his lungs.

[Joe Gorman]

That's fucking crazy.

[Zach Amico]

Which is impossible if you drown.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And they think somebody killed him and threw him in his own pool because he was being. They wanted him to take over the movement.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And another group. Somebody had him killed. So I think there's definitely.

[Joe Gorman]

Damn.

[Zach Amico]

Somebody was stopping that.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. And it was like Martin Luther King Jr. He was considered, like a, like, bad guy up until, like, recent. The revisionist history where they're like, oh, yeah, he was very brave, but, like, the government was always trying to shut him down. They were like, wiretapping him.

[Zach Amico]

Well, they were just catching him.

[Molly Vivant]

Bad guy. I thought. I mean, the government was doing that because they were like.

[Joe Gorman]

Like trying to discredit him.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I think what Joe meant was he was considered an enemy of the state.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Not a bad guy morally.

[Molly Vivant]

They were like.

[Zach Amico]

They were just catching him.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Like all. He was like, he paid, like, sex workers.

[Zach Amico]

They're catching him. Getting a lot of. Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

All of a sudden that's a crime.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Lock me up and throw away the key.

[Zach Amico]

That was the real dream. Yeah.

[Molly Vivant]

They're like, use children like the rest of us.

[Joe Gorman]

I have a dream. Two chicks at the same time, man.

[Molly Vivant]

I'm like Martin Luther King Jr. Because we're both Pisces moons. I just found that out. And I know nothing about astrology, but I think that.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I'll remember that the next time I think about you. I'll say she's like Martin Luther king. All right, what else do we got here? All right. Hey, guys. Today's episode is brought to you by our great [e-mail] home of the $60 kilo. That's right. Stop going to smoke shops, bodegas, or gas stations and getting a little bit of kratom at a time. And you don't even know in there when you go to yocratom.com today. They have the best strains, the best customer service, and they're the marquee sponsor of everything we do here at gas. If you don't use kratom, don't start on my account. But if you use kratom for one of its many, many benefits, there's only one place in the world and there's no promo code needed. Why, it's already the best deal in the world to kratom. 60 bucks for a whole kilo delivered right to your gosh darn door. So check them out today, guys. Yocratum.com Home of the $60 kilo. All right, let's get back into the program. I don't want to go right into stuff about gorillas after that because that would not look good for me.

[Joe Gorman]

This is a spicy one.

[Zach Amico]

So let's do this. Man gets Naked on studio tour at Universal Studios Hollywood.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Molly Vivant]

Which part of the tour?

[Zach Amico]

We'll find out.

[Joe Gorman]

Hopefully. The Jaws one. Do they still have that?

[Zach Amico]

I don't know. I don't think.

[Molly Vivant]

I love that. Bummer. It's really fun.

[Joe Gorman]

That was a lot of fun. I went. I went as a kid.

[Molly Vivant]

I went when I was like 18. I think.

[Joe Gorman]

That's not bad. That's still a kid in man.

[Molly Vivant]

I grew up in Florida, so the Universal is better in Florida. But that part is so cool. And obviously we don't have.

[News Reporter]

During a tram tour at Universal Studios today, after coming to an abrupt stop, a man exited the vehicle, took off his clothes and was moving about in front of more than 150 people, including children. Other passengers say it appears that man was under the influence of something, drugs or alcohol. Adding, he was rolling around on the ground taunting employees on the side of the road after being removed from the scene.

[Joe Gorman]

Look at that crowd control where the guy's like, nothing to see here.

[News Reporter]

That tram got express lane passes. We've reached out to Universal Studios for comment, but have not heard back.

[Molly Vivant]

I wonder if they still have the Fast and the Furious thing. Because in my head that's right before the Fast and the Furious thing, which is kind of turns into a ride. And like, it's probably best that he got off right before then.

[Zach Amico]

Don't you talk bad about the Fast and the Furious?

[Molly Vivant]

No, I love it. But like, think about being really up and being on that. Like, that would freak me. He probably would have done something crazier.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I would say maybe manic episode or maybe drug. Maybe he was like, oh, man, we should do acid. Yeah. He was like, vers Studios.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. It's like, I'm freaking out.

[Zach Amico]

I could never handle that. I can't do psychedelics with other people around.

[Joe Gorman]

Really.

[Zach Amico]

Being in a giant group of people would freak me out.

[Molly Vivant]

And like, hella Europeans and foreigners around you just being like, I would be convinced.

[Zach Amico]

Everyone knew I was up.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Like, that's all I can think when I'm on acid is everyone knows you're on acid.

[Joe Gorman]

Everyone knows.

[Molly Vivant]

I've never done.

[Joe Gorman]

I'm gonna get in trouble. Someone's gonna get me in trouble.

[Molly Vivant]

I'm a mushroom. Girly.

[Joe Gorman]

Mushrooms are fun.

[Zach Amico]

Mushrooms are much more fun. Acid. The acid. This is the way I explain it. Acid when you do it, there's part of you that's like, this feels like it was made in a lab.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And mushrooms feels like an extension of weed.

[Joe Gorman]

You really have to be. You have to be in the right mindset for acid. Yeah. If, like, if there's, like, any kind of, like, thing you're kind of, like, worried about or if you have, like, something you're a little sad about, like, it's going to push that to the surface big time. Mushrooms always. For me, at least, like, every time I've taken mushrooms, it's just like a. It makes me feel more connected. It makes me like, oh, I'm in touch with nature. I feel like my. My system, like, opens up more, and I feel just, like, a sense of, like, an immense sense of, like, empathy and joy and same. I, like, can forgive people, like, who I'm, like, kind of pissed at. I'm like, well, they're just living their.

[Molly Vivant]

Lives and, like, acting out of pain.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. It's like. It's like everyone's just doing. I. I do believe when I'm on mushrooms and the only time I finish this is when I'm on mushrooms, that everyone's just trying their best. We're all just trying to live. Let's just let people live.

[Molly Vivant]

I do feel that way.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Maybe.

[Zach Amico]

Are you. Are you a blanket mushroom person?

[Joe Gorman]

You mean, like, I. I need a blanket? Oh, no, not really.

[Zach Amico]

I need. I need. I need to hide under. Yeah. Yeah. I need it to calm down.

[Molly Vivant]

No, I want to, like, stare up at the tree.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. I like looking at the star and, like, if you're. If, like, you're in, like, a. Like. I used to love doing shrooms in Golden Gate park in San Francisco because it was just like, a nice, nice, safe area and I was still in nature, but I was like, there were enough people there where it wasn't like a crowd that overwhelms you, but enough to be like, oh, look, a family is playing Frisbee. That's chill.

[Molly Vivant]

And it's really wholesome and sweet.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, shrooms are awesome. Shrooms are.

[Zach Amico]

I. Occasionally when I do mushrooms, my legs and I stop communicating.

[Molly Vivant]

Well, this sounds like me with weed. I thought I was allergic to it.

[Joe Gorman]

Really?

[Molly Vivant]

I can't do weed.

[Zach Amico]

The last time I tripped in front of Mrs. Amico, she said that watching me get through the house was like watching Bambi learn how to walk.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Like, I was, like, kind of dragging my bottom half for a while, and then eventually, like, kind of got my balance, but I was shaky, like, yeah.

[Molly Vivant]

After I get fucked. Crazy. Oh, crazy. I'm, like, walking around the house like this, trying to pee so I don't get a uti. Yeah, I've been doing a lot of that lately.

[Zach Amico]

Good for you, dude. Good for you. I had a bad. This. The. I was on acid once. I used to do this thing called the zombie crawl. And it was a. Twice a year, all these people. It was a bar crawl, but we would all dress as zombies. It was all effects artists, so people that didn't know how to do their makeup, it would be like, 10 bucks. And you get, like, full latex zombie makeup.

[Molly Vivant]

That's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

And it was super fun. It would be, like, sometimes it was small. We had a couple big ones. We did the premiere Zombie Land. And that was, like, 500 people people. It was really, really fun. And one time we. I was at a group people, and we all wound up getting acid, and we left early, and we were driving back to Jersey. And for some reason, whenever I trip, I'm convinced I need orange juice. I feel like it's just part of tripping.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So we stopped at a convenience store, and I go in to get orange juice. And I'm. The second I walk in the store, the fluorescent lights destroy me.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I'm like. Like, everyone knows you're tripping balls. Everyone in the aisles, the cashier, everyone knows. And I get my allergies. I go up, and this little fucking Asian lady's at the counter, and she looks horrified, and I'm like, oh, my God. She knows I'm on acid. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. I forgot I was a zombie. And she looks at me and she goes, you're covered in bread. And I didn't know how to explain zombie makeup. Bar crawl to an elderly Asian woman.

[Molly Vivant]

Were you like, I'm on drugs?

[Zach Amico]

That's so in the middle of June. I just went, Halloween. And she goes, halloween. I went, Halloween. And she was Halloween. And now we're just screaming Halloween at each other.

[Joe Gorman]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

And somebody had to take me, put their arm around me, and walk me out and pay for my shit.

[Molly Vivant]

You can't walk into any kind of crazy light lights when you're tripping. Like, even if I accidentally, like, check my phone when I'm on mushrooms, I'll, like, look at it for a second. Then I'll go, oh, my God, I'm gonna get stuck in there. Like, I'm like, I'm gonna get stuck in there.

[Zach Amico]

I turn my phone off when I trip.

[Molly Vivant]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

The best lights are Christmas lights. For shrooms. It's just. It's just enough to have an ambient kind of lighting. But it's very. There's something very calming about it because they're not super bright and they're kind of spread out. So it's like a nice.

[Molly Vivant]

But it makes everything so much brighter. So, like, this kind of light would put me in the hospital if I want mushrooms. Like, I would be rushed to the emergency room.

[Zach Amico]

One of the. One of my great mushroom trips. They lost me for about 45 minutes because I went out on a walk and I found a Christmas tree display at a Deals and Discounts.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh.

[Zach Amico]

And I stood and looked at Christmas trees for 40 minutes.

[Molly Vivant]

Did, like, tear. Did you have, like.

[Zach Amico]

It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

[Molly Vivant]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Then it was just thinking about Christmas and the holidays and. Love.

[Molly Vivant]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I got caught in that one.

[Joe Gorman]

It's nice. I like it when you're. When you're tripping and have good thoughts. So. Nice.

[Molly Vivant]

You're like, love wins.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. It's like. Everything's like. It's like, oh, this is how I'm supposed to feel all the time, you know?

[Zach Amico]

All right, we got a couple. This is the morning zoo. We do love our animal videos. So we have got two different gorilla videos today. Let's start with just. Hey, for the sake of fun. Gorillas at the zoo.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Molly Vivant]

Love.

[Zach Amico]

Look at the. Look at the haunches on this.

[Joe Gorman]

I bet.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, you gotta see that. This. This girl must be loving it. Look at the thrust on this guy.

[Joe Gorman]

Browsers.

[Zach Amico]

You all right, buddy? There we go.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, damn.

[Molly Vivant]

He's kicked up.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, dude, the kids, dude. Oh, my God.

[Molly Vivant]

Dude, that was me last night.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, just.

[Joe Gorman]

That's.

[Zach Amico]

Wow, look at that. Look at the muscles in the haunches.

[Molly Vivant]

He's going deep.

[Joe Gorman]

Mama.

[Zach Amico]

How much of zoos is just this?

[Joe Gorman]

I mean, like, what else are you going to do in captivity? That looks like a fun ass. Like, gorilla pit, too. Like, they have. They can climb on and play and.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. What a great day.

[Joe Gorman]

Got every. And you got people watching.

[Zach Amico]

That's hot.

[Molly Vivant]

I love zoos. I have so many good memories of being at the zoo. My best friend's mom works. Worked there when I was a kid as a landscaper, like, every day. So we'd. In the summer, we'd be at the zoo every day, just, like, exploring. And we could get into, like, the back areas, and sometimes it was dangerous. But I did find a freezer full of dead animals once because they keep every animal that dies and they freeze It. Until it goes somewhere for, like, research.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, I thought they were going to use it to, like, feed the carnivores.

[Molly Vivant]

No, but, like, I opened up the freezer and they were all in, like, weird bags, and I was, like, trying to, like, look, they're labeled. And I was trying to, like, look. And then something fell and I had to pick it up. It said, baby monkey.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, no. My friends, a vet tech, and she. So this is sad, but when. When. When dogs die, they think they have rabies. They have to get them tested.

[Intro/Outro Announcer]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But when it's a really big dog and they don't want to ship the whole thing, they just send the head.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. They have to check the brain.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or the spinal column, something.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But they just send the head. And she said when she first started being a vet tech, she went to put her lunch in the freezer. Oh, no, there was just a German shepherd head in it. Like, barely, like, in a plastic bag.

[Molly Vivant]

Yeah, like the movie Fear.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, exactly like that. Yes. And she said it fucking ruined her.

[Joe Gorman]

I bet that, like. Yeah, there's some. I don't know, like, some animals, like, it's like I. It's like you're gonna see them, like rodents, you see dead. But dogs, cats, like, more. I don't know that. That's tough. It's like, those are the animals that should never die, you know?

[Molly Vivant]

Yeah. And I've always had a little bit of a fear of dead animals. Like, I guess there were always a lot where I grew up, like, on the sidewalk and vultures would come get them and stuff. But, like, I always thought that if I walked too close next to them, they would, like, come up and grab.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, like, pet cemetery type, huh?

[Molly Vivant]

Yeah. I always had that fear. I think I still do sometimes. Especially when you see their teeth. You're like. When they're like.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So I love a man's house, Tony. I fucking love pets that fix. Cat don't tend to wander.

[Joe Gorman]

That's a. That was a fucking. Like. That was a fucking hard. Stephen King.

[Molly Vivant]

Because that was the cutest little boy ever.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Gage.

[Zach Amico]

Same kid, I believe, who says boys have a penis? Girls have a vagina in Kindergarten Cop.

[Molly Vivant]

Oh, my God. Yeah. That's good.

[Zach Amico]

Mikko Hughes, you remember.

[Joe Gorman]

Good for. Damn, Zacky.

[Zach Amico]

Damn, I'm good.

[Joe Gorman]

Damn.

[Zach Amico]

Have you read Pet Sabotage?

[Joe Gorman]

Yes. The book is nuts.

[Zach Amico]

Holy.

[Joe Gorman]

So you could tell Stephen King was like, that era of him just, like, doing blow. Like, those are some of his darkest fucking. Like, Cujo. Equally Cujo.

[Zach Amico]

They kill the kid. In the book.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Well, so I. So the same way I wish somebody would sit Metallica down with, like, a case of Jack Daniels and be like, you guys got one more good record in you. We'll put you in. Guys, just give. Give us a record, we'll drive you right to rehab.

[Joe Gorman]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

You got one more in you.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

The same with. I wish somebody would just show up at Stephen King's house with a 30 rack and a fucking fat bag of blow.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And go, Stevie, we know you got it in your still, dog.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Give us. Give us a classic.

[Joe Gorman]

Let's. Let's take a trip back to Dairy Maine, huh? One more.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, the Institute was good, but.

[Joe Gorman]

I did like that. That was pretty good. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I was convinced the Institute was going to be a fucking sequel to Firestarter the whole time I was reading it. Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

I do like it when he has, like, those, like, oh, this is. If you read this, you'll enjoy this a little bit more.

[Zach Amico]

Well, okay. I'll go up Stephen King thing for a second.

[Joe Gorman]

Sure.

[Zach Amico]

All of Stephen King's works intertwined because of the shine.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. And. Well, then the shine is connected to the Dark Tower.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Joe Gorman]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

That's everybody. So, Carrie, anybody with the mom in Pet Sematary, the daughter in Pet Sematary, Hearts in Atlantis, Danny and Dick o' Halloran and the Shining. That's all. They all have different versions of the same mental powers.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And sometimes it manifests as you can move. Sometimes it manifests as you could talk to ghosts. Sometimes it manifests as you can start fires. But it's all that. Some, I think in other books they call it the push. But everything in Stephen King is basically about this shared mental energy that is the shine. But in the book Pet Sematary, what makes it super scary is when Gage comes back from the dead, he can talk like a grownup, and he's a little, little boy. And he tells Herman Munster, I can't call him anything else.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That his wife cheated on him with his best friend when he was in his 20s. And that she's in hell with him. And she told him, and he goes, the. She her in the ass on your bedspread. It was. It's so scary.

[Joe Gorman]

Was like. And then, like, just the way they, like, like, said, like, there's, like, the Windigo out in the. But they never, like, explicitly say it. So he's, like, carrying Gage back to the cemetery.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Well, so that. With that. I think the whole bit with the. The pet cemetery, the Grandgo and Sour. It's because somebody cannibalized somebody, and then that's what gave the curse. Because the Wendigo typically comes when you're dying of hunger in the woods. So the Wendigo is very much affiliated with, like, the Donner Party. Like, when people are freezing to death, they eat each other. That's the Wendigo. Because it's a cannibalistic spirit. So I think that the. The through line in pet cemetery is that the Wendigo is kind of running shit because the Indians had eaten each other. And that's what gave the curse. Because essentially, when you look at it, is all the old man's fault.

[Joe Gorman]

Right. He should have never said anything because.

[Zach Amico]

And it's because he told him to bury the cat there. Even though he knew better, there's something drew him to have to tell him. And it's because the cat came back that Gage got killed. Because it's a. You know, now he's fucked into it. And that's why. Yeah. And then he has to end it by burning down the houses.

[Joe Gorman]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

Because that's the only way to get rid of everybody.

[Joe Gorman]

And even then, he was, like, still gonna, like, bury his wife. He's like, I did it. I waited too long for gay.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, this time it'll be good.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Then that's like, classic addict behavior. Like, this time is gonna be. All right.

[Zach Amico]

All right, we got one more gorilla. Shocking behavior by mountain gorilla Mother Jorge.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, shocking.

[Zach Amico]

Wouldn't be funny if it was just the first video.

[Joe Gorman]

It's the same way someone getting. It's from the gorilla getting perspective.

[Zach Amico]

No, the first video we watched.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, no.

[Zach Amico]

So this is a gorilla who just gave birth, and this is her eating the placenta.

[Joe Gorman]

Okay. All right.

[Zach Amico]

The same way.

[Joe Gorman]

The same way white women.

[Zach Amico]

The same way white women have it turn into pills.

[Molly Vivant]

No. I was going to say, I have a friend who's a model. And then her model friend had a baby, and she. The one that was pregnant, definitely smoked cigarettes and weed the whole time she was pregnant. Whatever. But then my friend ate her friend's placenta.

[Joe Gorman]

Yikes.

[Molly Vivant]

She's a model and wants to, like, look young and stuff. But my friend, my best friend that's a doctor, was like, you could die from that. You can go into sepsis from eating someone else's placenta. You're not even supposed to do it with your.

[Zach Amico]

I thought they turned it into pills at a certain point.

[Molly Vivant]

Smoothies. Because the girl had gave birth at the apartment. So they, like. It was like a home birth. So they just, like, kept.

[Zach Amico]

Gross.

[Molly Vivant]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Wow. Yeah, super gross.

[Joe Gorman]

That's something a landlord has to disclose. If you're looking at the apartments, like, somebody did give birth here.

[Molly Vivant]

I actually think that's beautiful. I want to give. I want to deliver babies. Maybe in another lifetime.

[Joe Gorman]

It looks weird. It looks gross.

[Molly Vivant]

It looks awesome.

[Joe Gorman]

It looks like a little, like. It looks like. It's like, oh, what a nice little pussy. And all of a sudden, like, a baby plops out of it.

[Molly Vivant]

It's like the miracle of life. It's the coolest thing. Even when I was a kid, I would go to the maternity ward at the fair and watch cows give birth. I love, like, birth.

[Zach Amico]

Did you see the video of the lady giving birth?

[Joe Gorman]

Y. Passenger seat. Middle school.

[Zach Amico]

No. In the passenger seat.

[Joe Gorman]

God, no.

[Zach Amico]

Cory, could you look it up real quick? It's a lady, literally in the passage of a moving car.

[Molly Vivant]

That's how it used to happen, I think.

[Zach Amico]

And she just. She does it herself.

[Joe Gorman]

Dude, it is bite the umbilical cord.

[Zach Amico]

It is fucking bananas.

[Molly Vivant]

Wait, something funny is. My sister is definitely a crazy person, and she is.

[Zach Amico]

That is funny.

[Molly Vivant]

She's about to have a baby via surrogate.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh.

[Molly Vivant]

And she's super, like, holistic and, like, doesn't believe the earth is round. Whatever. And. But she's having the surrogate give birth at her house. Like a home birth. But isn't that crazy? You have to, like, kick them out. You're like, okay, thanks for the baby. Bye. Get out of my house. Like, how long do you give them squatters rights? I've been wondering that. And I don't talk to her because she's crazy. But I want to know so bad. Like, what is the. Because if I just gave birth, I would not want to move for, like, a long time.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I'd imagine you gotta give them.

[Joe Gorman]

A day or so.

[Zach Amico]

I would say three.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But then you. I would be afraid they would get.

[Joe Gorman]

It might get attached to the baby. Yeah. It's like, I carried this baby for nine months.

[Molly Vivant]

I found out a lot of things. Like, first of all, you can't be a surrogate if you've never given birth before. Like, you have to have had kids before. So this lady has, like, four kids already.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Joe Gorman]

So maybe it's not like.

[Intro/Outro Announcer]

Like.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, it's like.

[Jorge (Producer/Tech)]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. But still.

[Molly Vivant]

It's still really freaky. And I think surrogates are.

[Joe Gorman]

I think it's. It's borderline.

[Molly Vivant]

I think it's wrong, and I think it's crazy. And I think that it's Worse than sex work by far. It's, like, unethical. There's a reason you can't, like, rent. There's a reason you can't buy someone's organs because it's, like, shady.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know. But if a couple can't carry on, if a couple can't have a kid on their own, I think it's a nice way to do it.

[Molly Vivant]

A lot of couples can't. And I'm like, like, yeah. And there's a lot of kids that need homes. Go adopt.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I agree with that.

[Molly Vivant]

I think it's like you're spending like two rounds of IVF probably, which is probably around 60,000. You're paying 50,000 at least to a surrogate, plus all their medical bills. It's like you'll do anything but help a kid in need. You could even adopt a baby from birth. Like, why wouldn't you do that? I think.

[Joe Gorman]

Or it's like. It's like it has to have my gin. My. My namesake.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. They want a white knot.

[Molly Vivant]

That's ego and that's wrong with people.

[Joe Gorman]

I don't need all my recessive genes going to another generation. Maybe I can help this kid.

[Zach Amico]

That's one of my favorite Dana Gould bits because he has three Chinese daughters.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, wow.

[Zach Amico]

And he said when they were. They were all the stroller, like, crazy ladies who just walk up and see him and his white wife with three Chinese daughters and be like, what's the story with this? And he'd be like, well, pie eyed stranger. If you go through my family history. Alcoholic, schizophrenic. Alcoholic, schizophrenic. So technically, my balls are full of poison. Then let's watch this. We'll end on this. Let's watch this lady give birth in the passenger seat. Fuck, Jorge, if you tell me this is fake, I'm going to fucking punch you in the nose.

[Joe Gorman]

They're never gonna make it to the hot. I love the fucking narration.

[Molly Vivant]

Have you seen the. The people that are obsessed with their reborn babies and sometimes they do fake birth videos with them. That is really sad and mental.

[Joe Gorman]

All right, this woman's fucking whining. Come on, get over it. I heard it feels good. Do you take your pants down?

[Molly Vivant]

I don't know if I can do it.

[Zach Amico]

I can't.

[Molly Vivant]

I can't.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, my gosh.

[Molly Vivant]

It's coming out. It's coming out.

[Joe Gorman]

Do babies come out that fast?

[Molly Vivant]

Oh, that's another point. Why I'm against surrogacy. You can die from giving birth it's dangerous. Like we're exploiting women.

[Joe Gorman]

That's the move I know all too well being in the driver's seat.

[Jorge (Producer/Tech)]

Pulling down.

[Joe Gorman]

Pulling down.

[Zach Amico]

Maternity pants.

[Joe Gorman]

Damn. Here we go.

[Molly Vivant]

The baby is out of me, babe.

[Zach Amico]

This happened to me once in the car with Toma, selling out of shit. Me and Thomas. Sally got chili dogs.

[Joe Gorman]

Sally was like, pulling down your pants. Yeah. Hang on, Alex.

[Zach Amico]

It's coming. It's coming. It's coming.

[Joe Gorman]

It's sticking out.

[Zach Amico]

I see the head.

[Molly Vivant]

Out of.

[Joe Gorman]

It's like, why did it. Has he pulled over to the side? He's still moving. Like, pull off to the side of the road, dude.

[Zach Amico]

Get the come out.

[Joe Gorman]

No way. This is fake.

[Intro/Outro Announcer]

Look at.

[Joe Gorman]

At that.

[Molly Vivant]

It's got to be suctioned. It's crying. Babe, it's breathing just fine. All right.

[Joe Gorman]

Spanking breathing. No, he's fine breathing, but hold him upside down, babe.

[Molly Vivant]

Hold him upside down.

[Zach Amico]

That's crazy.

[Molly Vivant]

The man sounds gay.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, that.

[Molly Vivant]

That's the.

[Joe Gorman]

The father's so called him because he didn't have to do anything.

[Zach Amico]

All right, turn the car around. We just saved a few grand.

[Molly Vivant]

That car probably smells so bad.

[Zach Amico]

Oh.

[Molly Vivant]

Oh.

[Zach Amico]

That's got to be worse than when you have McDonald's in the car.

[Molly Vivant]

I always wanted to smell a newborn baby because everyone says they smell so good.

[Zach Amico]

I've heard that that's partly because it smells like vagina.

[Joe Gorman]

I bet it's a.

[Zach Amico]

And there's something in your brain.

[Molly Vivant]

A very sweet smell.

[Joe Gorman]

I think that's only for the parents. Like, it imprints. Like, it's, like, in nature where, you know, like, a lion will kill any cubs that aren't his own, but his own cubs have a smell, so he knows not to eat those. I think that. I think it's only biological. So the parents probably, but everyone else like, oh, smells like.

[Zach Amico]

No, a lot of ladies say they like baby smell.

[Molly Vivant]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

No, that's because women are predisposed to have babies and take care of babies. Men are like, whatever. Either. Smells like it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that's not mine.

[Joe Gorman]

Get out of here.

[Molly Vivant]

I have a feeling. It's just. They smell good. Because think about. I mean, depending if you like the smell, but I love puppy breath. Why do all puppies have that breath? I don't know.

[Joe Gorman]

My dog's breath smells like. But like, he smells like he's a baby, though, huh? When it was a puppy, he's always smelled like shit.

[Molly Vivant]

I bet you. When did you.

[Zach Amico]

How so, Jorge, tell us how that video was fake.

[Jorge (Producer/Tech)]

You can actually see the sora water mark in the corner, can you?

[Zach Amico]

No, you can't. Oh, I thought you got me again. I was about to be so upset.

[Molly Vivant]

I watch birth videos on Facebook all the time.

[Zach Amico]

Well, ladies and gentlemen, that was the Morning zoo. Thank you so much for tuning in. I want to sincerely thank my guests. Guests Molly Violent and Joe Gorman. Check out super Celly Joe's. Thank you, Jorge, for holding down the booth while Shannon's been under the weather. Shannon, we love you very, very, very much. And I'm gonna go sniff Molly's armpit. Bye.

[Intro/Outro Announcer]

Noon is morning time to him. Pop B. Go chug it down just like your favorite OB Clown. Grab a coffee and join the the crew. It's ao morning. It's a morning.