0090. Christos, Sheri Ciprane and Rebecca Kaplan

Summary

Zac Amico's Morning Zoo – Episode 0090

Date: February 23, 2026
Guests: Sherry Supreme, Christos, Rebecca Kaplan
Podcast: GaS Digital Network

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Episode Overview

This wild Friday installment of "Zac Amico's Morning Zoo" lives up to the show’s tagline: irreverent, chaotic, and focused on subversive comedy. Zac welcomes comedians Sherry Supreme, Christos, and Rebecca Kaplan for a raucous discussion that swings from celeb meltdowns (Shia LaBeouf), bizarre conspiracy theories, street-level revenge stories, candy nostalgia, and a nipple-guessing game – all delivered with trademark dark humor. Unfiltered, fast-paced banter dominates as topics spiral from tabloid weirdness to sharp social observations.

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Highlights & Key Segments

1. Introductions & Plugs (00:49–02:11)

• Each guest plugs their upcoming standup dates and podcasts.
• Zac teases his co-headlining tour with Crack Amico, urges listeners to subscribe for bonus episodes.

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2. Shia LaBeouf’s Mardi Gras Meltdown (03:12–10:48)

• The panel dives into recent viral videos of Shia LaBeouf drunkenly brawling in New Orleans.
• They critique his technique—"That was a terrible headbutt." (Zac, 04:24)
• Discussion of Shia's method acting and personal troubles:

“Sometimes geniuses need to recharge with a little stupidity.” – Christos (05:00)

• Mental health, celebrity blackouts, and mixing meds with alcohol.
• Sympathetic yet critical:

“You hate when you see somebody talented, and then that’s the real them.” – Zac (08:21)

• Brief aside to other troubled child stars, with jokes about Mark McGrath’s infamous “Sugar Gay” incident.

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3. Reactions to Celeb Violence & Elite Conspiracies (10:51–13:15)

• Christos admits to hiring someone for street-level revenge (“I pay people to get beat up." [12:01])
• Discusses how violence for hire isn’t as outlandish as people might think.
• Segue to the inevitability of high-level conspiracies:

“Anyone who thinks it’s not—there’s not crazy shit going on—is just [has] their head in the sand at this point.” – Zac (12:53)

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4. Epstein “Zombie Drug” & Mind Control Plants (13:15–19:48)

• Zac deep-dives into recent Epstein conspiracy news involving toxin plants (Angel's trumpet, scopolamine) possibly used for mind control.
• Cultural and horror-movie history of “zombie” drugs.
• Guest stories: Romani tarot card shops as drug-laundering fronts and alleged use of “devil’s breath” for manipulation.
• Psyched to disbelief:

“You kind of see what you want to see, and they tell you what you want to hear.” – Zac (18:44)

• Memorable exchange:

“What would you do with it?”
“Manipulate what you want out of the person... make them believe what you’re saying.” – Sherry (16:54)

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5. Romani Traditions, “My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding,” & Child Beggars (19:48–26:14)

• Extended riff on TLC’s “Gypsy Wedding,” Romani folklore about theft and stolen nails for the crucifixion.
• Gritty real-life context: Beggar cartels, “rat children of Pakistan,” child exploitation, and physical deformity in hustle economies.
• Sharp jokes and stunned reactions to harsh realities.

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6. Candy Debates & The Secret Formula for Reese’s (30:10–34:55)

• Revelation: The Reese’s founder’s grandson claims Hershey’s has diluted the original ingredients.
• Heated debate on the best Reese’s format (classic cup, holiday shapes):

“The holiday ones. The ratio’s better. More peanut butter forward.” – Zac (32:07)

• Discussions on candy bar nostalgia, ingredient changes, and the psychology of favorite treats.
• Notable Quote:

“Everything’s getting watered down, washed down to cut costs.” – Christos (33:45)

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7. Perks of Being a Wallflower… Criminal? & Age-Gap Discussions (35:38–39:47)

• Rebecca shares disturbing rumors about “Perks of Being a Wallflower” actor (abductions, fights).
• Candid roundtable on the morality and psychology of age gaps in dating and maturing perspectives:

  “Maybe it just takes longer for men to develop that, I think.” – Sherry (36:32) “As a comic... we’re all 10 years behind socially.” – Zac (36:36)

• Humorous yet pointed boundary-setting:

“It is not a crime to make out with a child. It’s just a crime to have sex with [them].” – Rebecca (38:56)

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8. Game: Guess the Celeb Nip Slip (40:54–52:16)

• Panel attempts (and repeatedly fails) to identify celebrities by closeup photos of nipple slip mishaps.
• Mix of pop-culture absurdity and running jokes:

“We sucked at that, and that was a waste of everybody’s time.” – Zac (52:26)

• Surprise reveals: Paris Hilton, Tila Tequila, Kim Cattrall, Michelle Rodriguez, Gigi Hadid.
• Self-deprecating, raunchy camaraderie.

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9. Viral Video: DoorDash Driver “Itch Incident” (52:33–56:22)

• Ring camera catches DoorDash driver scratching inside her pants before handling food.
• Everyone mocks the local news report and plays down the “risk”:

“It was in a bag inside the container. Come on.” – Sherry (55:16)

• Briefly discuss gendered perceptions of hygiene; comparison to food cart workers’ realities.
• Memorable:

“Is it really that much worse than picking your nose? It’s a hole. Who cares? Grow up.” – Zac (55:07)

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10. Preschool Laxative Scandal & “Sleepy Time Stickers” (57:26–60:11)

• News item: a daycare worker secretly gives kids laxatives for easier send-home policies.
• Quick turn to another daycare hysteria about lavender “sleepy time” stickers—debating what counts as “real” drugging vs. bad parenting.
• Quote:

“Maybe ill-advised, but not evil.” – Zac (60:06)

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11. Best Artificial Flavor: The Great Candy Debate (61:14–65:02)

• Go-round of favorite artificial flavors: green apple, cherry, blue raspberry, banana (with a tangent on the extinct flavor of old bananas).
• Extensive soda nostalgia, from A&W vs. Mug to imported Fanta.
• Historical aside:

  “They started using fruit rinds and other stuff to flavor their sodas... because they couldn't sell Coca-Cola to Nazi Germany.” – Zac (65:14)

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12. European vs. American Taste + Wild Personal Anecdotes (66:08–68:59)

• Riff: “Everything in Europe tastes better… even punani.”
• Zac’s story about a wild European hookup and blunt rejections due to “not liking heavy men.”
• Wrapping up with:

“Isn’t communication better when we don’t have all this subtle nuance bullshit?” – Christos (68:47) “I’m not mad that someone doesn’t want to fuck me. I have a mirror.” – Zac (69:02)

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Notable Quotes

• “You hate when you see somebody talented, and then that’s the real them.” – Zac (08:21)
• “I pay people to get beat up.” – Sherry (12:01)
• “Anyone who thinks there’s not crazy shit going on has their head in the sand.” – Zac (12:53)
• “It's not illegal to make out with a child. It's just a crime to have sex with [them].” – Rebecca (38:56)
• “We sucked at that, and that was a waste of everybody’s time.” – Zac (52:26)
• “Is it really that much worse than picking your nose? It’s a hole. Who cares? Grow up.” – Zac (55:07)
• “Everything’s getting watered down, washed down to cut costs.” – Christos (33:45)
• “Isn’t communication better when we don’t have all this subtle nuance bullshit?” – Christos (68:47)
• “I’m not mad someone doesn’t want to fuck me. I have a mirror.” – Zac (69:02)

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Segment Timestamps (MM:SS)

• Introductions & Plugs: 00:49–02:11
• Shia LaBeouf Incident & Analysis: 03:12–10:48
• Violence, Elites & Conspiracies: 10:51–13:15
• Epstein & Mind Control Rabbit Hole: 13:15–19:48
• Romani Culture & Exploitation: 19:48–26:14
• Candy & Reese’s Debate: 30:10–34:55
• Celeb Scandal/Underage Dating: 35:38–39:47
• Guess the Nip Slip Game: 40:54–52:16
• DoorDash "Itch" Video: 52:33–56:22
• Preschool Laxatives Story: 57:26–60:11
• Artificial Flavor Debate: 61:14–65:02
• European Experiences & Outro: 66:08–69:27

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Tone & Style

Relentlessly fast, unsparing, and riff-heavy, the episode embodies sharp-witted, sometimes abrasive comedy. The participants frequently blur the lines between truth and exaggeration, shifting smoothly from pop culture detail to outrageous anecdote, always keeping the energy unruly but engaging.

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For New Listeners

If you’re looking for a mix of wild news, explicit group games, taboo-shattering humor, and spontaneous dives into both dark and absurd territory, this episode is a prime example of "Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo." Expect less structure and more anarchic chemistry – and don’t be surprised if every topic ends with a punchline or a dark twist.

Transcript

[A]

Fill her up.

[B]

You're listening to the gas digital network. Wake up, it's time to go. Zach Amico's got a show Animals are here to play Choke some guests to start your day Tell the sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs and cook some beef Laughter's waiting, don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky Grab a coffee and join the cre. Morning suit.

[A]

Well, hello, hello, hello. Good morning, fans. It's your other boy, the international superstar Zack Amico saying welcome, welcome, welcome to the morning Zoo. I am thrilled for another great show today. Next to me from the Pimp Daddy podcast, it's our good friend Sherry Supreme.

[C]

What's going on, guys? Always good to be here on the Morning Zoo with my boy Zach.

[A]

Thank you, baby girl. Thank you for being here. And across the table from us from the close the door behind you podcast, it's our friend Christos. How you doing, buddy? Hello. And next to him from bed, fanfic, it's Rebecca Kaplan.

[D]

Hey, thanks for having me.

[A]

Hey, thank you guys so much for being here. Let's have a lot of fun today. Let's get plugs right out of the way. Rebecca, what do you want people to check out?

[D]

If you're in the south Florida area, I'm headlining shows there last week of March and I'm doing Erie, Pennsylvania and Pittsburgh in May.

[A]

Fantastic.

[E]

Christos, you can check me out on Instagram. Christos comedy. I got a couple shows this weekend, New York comedy club and then Friday Balkan comedy night at at Teaneck, New Jersey. It's like a big thing. Second time doing it. It was fun.

[A]

Excellent. Have a lot of fun, buddy. Sherry.

[C]

Yeah. Check out the Pimp Daddy podcast. It's fun and I perform all over New York City and sometimes on the road.

[A]

Wonderful. Find me on Instagram at Zach is not funny. All my dates punch up live. Zach Amico about to drop a co headlining tour with my little brother Crack Amico. And hey, if you love the show and we know you do, head on over to gasdigital.com today. Use my promo code, ZOO Z O O. You save a little bit of money off your subscription. You get your episodes early ad free and uncensored. You get access to the live chat so you could talk to your friends while you watch the show. You can also get the archives. That's right, thousands of episodes of all your favorite cast digital shows over the last decade or so. Jesus, Mary and Joseph and Holy moly. That's right, it's a Friday episode. We do three of These a week, only the Monday and Wednesday come out for free. So if you want that third bonus episode, you can subscribe. But regardless of how you consume the program, thank you so much, sincerely, for watching. All right, guys, we have got a bunch of silly stuff to do today, but I thought we would start with this. Shia Labow Lebouf, however it's pronounced, gets his ass kicked in New Orleans. This guy's. Oh, and what I think.

[E]

I think that's his first loss as far as I'm concerned.

[C]

If you count women.

[A]

Yeah. Well, so I found out yesterday. Mia Goth left him a year ago.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Sad.

[A]

Which. Very sad, because maybe the breakout actress of the last few years for me, I love her. Oh, my God. Have you seen Pearl?

[C]

Yes.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, my God. But he apparently going a little hard Mardi Gras week. And let's check out shy and see how he's doing.

[F]

Okay. I have multiple videos here.

[A]

Oh, great.

[F]

This first one is him headbutting someone in the street. Oh, just a little bit of, like, prefacing. What appears to have happened is. So he's been partying for a bit in New Orleans. He was hanging out at this bar, was very intoxicated. There are some accounts of people saying he, like, bumped into them, kind of, like, fell onto them, and then was like, don't touch me. And so apparently he had some words with the bartender. Someone says he tried to bite the bartender. Someone said he punched the bartender. So not exact sure what happened. And then it kind of rolled out onto the streets. And here's part of what happened.

[A]

Great. That's a bad headbutt.

[F]

It was a terrible headbutt.

[A]

He just kind of made him. She kind of moves his hat.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

It's little weak. Yeah. Headbutt's supposed to you up.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

You're supposed to put your full force into it.

[A]

That was a terrible headbutt. So what's his deal? He's. He's just a drunk, right?

[E]

Yeah, I think he's just. He's a genius. And sometimes they need to recharge with a little stupidity, you know, that would make.

[A]

Well, he's method, right?

[C]

Yeah, definitely method.

[E]

I mean, you saw he. Maybe he's method acting as a bowling pin because his arms were in the shirt.

[A]

I feel like method actors in general. It takes a toll on you, and that asshole has to come out at some point. Rebecca, thoughts?

[D]

I'm gonna be honest. I don't really know who Shia LaBeouf is.

[A]

Don't worry about it.

[E]

You know who he is.

[D]

He did A shitty Rear Window remake. That's all I know. And he was like, a child actor from something.

[A]

Well, he was in the Transformers movies.

[C]

Even Stevens.

[A]

Yeah, he. He did Peanut Butter Falcon with the special needs guy.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

But I think he's a method actor, and I think he. He does, like, weird performance art. Like, didn't he wear a paper bag on his head for something?

[E]

Yeah. So in the Rob Cantor thing.

[A]

Yes.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

So I think he's just. He's crazy. He's probably. And now this is an excuse I use for myself. Sometimes when you're on psych meds and you drink, if you take those two things close together, the blackout is very quick. And you don't see it come. It's like you go 0 to 60 when you drink on benzos.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

You gotta choose one or the other. Right?

[A]

Yeah. Or you gotta take. If you take medicine, take it early in the morning. And don't drink until the nighttime.

[C]

Right. And have a little bit of food in your belly.

[A]

Yeah. Cause. Yeah. Empty stomach, psych meds, booze. Equals bad boy behavior in my experience.

[D]

But I feel like your crush ups were probably more interesting than, like, lightly headbutting somebody.

[C]

Oh, we're not done.

[A]

Oh, we're not done.

[C]

I've seen the TMZ stuff.

[A]

Let's check it out. Shannon.

[F]

This is where he's basically jumped by several people from the bar.

[C]

Shirt is off.

[A]

Now he can't stand, man.

[C]

One of his shoes is gone.

[E]

That's snapping his arm.

[A]

I think he's just trying to put him in a hammer lock and keep him down. The right thing to do is just keep them down.

[C]

Right. Restrain them.

[A]

Keep calling us.

[F]

Better.

[C]

What else do you need to know?

[A]

Oh, that's the worst. Just your drunk conversation is forever on tmz.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Now the shirt's on his head. Yeah.

[A]

Right. Do you all have a camera? Oh, there's plenty of cameras. We've got everything on top. I walked up when I saw him

[C]

take the first wave.

[A]

That's when I. When he swung on the manager. Is when I.

[F]

This is not important. Hold on. There's another fight one. Hold on one second. Sorry.

[A]

The. The wigger. Bravado.

[C]

Yeah, he's always had that.

[E]

That's how you know a lie is about to come out.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, that too.

[A]

You hate when you see somebody talented and then that's the real them.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

That sucks, because it's definitely not his voice. He's. I feel like there's some people. And you guys are all welcome to disagree with Me that are always in a. Playing a character or the code.

[C]

Switching. Right, they're switching.

[A]

Yeah, they're codes. But then also, like, they're never. Like they. They say meeting De Niro is like meeting a shoe.

[E]

Oh, he just said.

[A]

There's just nothing there. But that's why he's so talented, is because he could completely lose himself.

[C]

Right. He can shift into another person.

[A]

And I do feel like when you meet certain actors, they're just an amalgamation of either characters they've played or other things they're emulating. And I feel like maybe he's played enough tough guys that in his head, he is now, in fact, this guy. Yeah, but. Yeah, just not. Not. It reminds me of when Mark Wahlberg got called. Mark Wahlberg? Mark, the guy from Sugar Ray.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Shannon Graff. Mark McGrath got called Sugar Gay and tried to fight a child.

[C]

Oh, that's hilarious, though. Sugar Gay.

[E]

Would you just let that kid get away with it? I don't know.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's funny. Yeah, he does look gay.

[A]

If you're. If you're that guy and you're. You're doing pretty well. Yeah. Let some kid call. Sure. Sugar Gay. Cool. Thanks, dude.

[C]

That's the easiest thing to go to as well.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Sugar Ray. Sugar Gay.

[A]

Shannon. Let's see this other fight.

[E]

That's a weird technique, slapping him. Oh, yeah, here we go. It's always that guy that comes in, the nerd. What did you do?

[A]

Oh, somebody just get on him. That's why the guy was putting him in a hammer lock in the other. Just to keep him down.

[E]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Embarrassing behavior all around.

[C]

I mean, he's a child actor. I don't think any of them get out scot free. They're all jacked up. Like, look at Amanda Bynes, Bieber.

[A]

Did anybody, you know who made it? And I'm convinced it's some cabal shit. Keenan. Ah, Kenan's been famous as long as

[C]

all of us are alive and he's steady. I said no, you know, supposedly a

[A]

bit of a gangster.

[E]

Is he a gangster?

[A]

No.

[E]

What's gangster about?

[C]

Get out of here. Really? I didn't know that.

[A]

I mean, he definitely. I mean, I don't think it's.

[C]

He has connections.

[A]

He's something. He's. He's definitely a. He definitely. I mean, it's not a secret that he definitely put a hit out on Chris Redd, right?

[C]

Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.

[E]

That was a while.

[A]

Because he. Chris Redd, hooked up with his ex wife.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And then somebody snatched Chris Redd's chain and beat the shit out of him. Well, that's definitely a hit.

[E]

Yeah, that's true. If you had the money, would you put a hit on someone?

[A]

Yes. Oh, yeah, I've thought about it and I don't have the money.

[C]

I've already done it, and I. I've not never got anyone murdered, but. Yeah, I pay people to get beat up.

[D]

Yeah, you did.

[F]

Of course.

[C]

Who? A bunch of times. The last one was when I got in a fight. I got maced on Flatbush when I was driving, and I got his license plate and the cop said, do you want to report it for assault? And I said, no, but I would like the license plate number. She wouldn't give it to me. Went to the doorman who had footage. The doorman gave me the footage, got the license plate number, called my boy 200 bucks, slashed his tires, followed him around and did what he had to do.

[A]

But yeah, yeah, I definitely considered, you know, the old timey. You wear the baseball gloves, you know, no fingerprints. And. Yeah, there's definitely. I've got a. It's a short list, but I very much considered it.

[E]

Then why is it so hard for people to believe that the elites are doing this shit on the regular?

[A]

I don't think it is. I feel like everyone's in. I think anyone who thinks it's not. There's not crazy shit going on is just has their head in the sand at this point.

[C]

They're in denial.

[A]

They don't want to. They don't want to know.

[C]

Yeah, it's too much. I think it's too much is too. It's like it's just overstimulating, all of it sometimes.

[A]

In fact, we can. We can. We can actually use that to transition now. I've been going hard in some of this Epstein stuff. I've been enjoying. Enjoying the coding rabbit hole. I think he's selling human flesh.

[C]

Oh, for sure.

[E]

You think the human flesh thing. I think that one's pushing it, but I'll hear you out.

[C]

That's human jerky, man.

[A]

Yeah, but pretty wild. Jeffrey Epstein emails refer to toxic zombie drug plant he kept. So it is a plant. And Shannon will tell us the name of it in a moment. But it has been used as a drug to rob people of their free will. Like roofies, kind of. So, you know, before this, I have to connect everything to horror movies. Forgive me.

[E]

That's okay.

[A]

Pre Night of the Living Dead zombies were something very different. In fact, Night of Living Dead, they Do not say the word zombie. They are only referred to as ghouls.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Pre night living dead, where we think of a zombie as a reanimated out of the ground corpse or somebody that was just killed and rised. Again, a zombie was more of like a Haitian voodoo kind of thing.

[C]

Yep, still is.

[A]

And what they would do in theory is they had medicines and plants that would basically put people in severe comas. So then the. That to the point where people would think they were dead, they would bury them and then dig them up and keep them drugged and use them as slaves.

[C]

Slaves, yeah, exactly.

[A]

And that is the traditional pre, you know, walking with the arms out, dead guy zombie. And this plant, I believe is in that family. Shannon, feel free to call me out on anything that I fucked up.

[F]

No, I think. I think it's all right. So this particular plant they're referring to is the angel's trumpet plants. And it says that they saw him refer to it in his email, people asking about his trumpet plants at the nursery. And so basically, by the way, the

[A]

least offensive thing you could ask about a nursery on Epstein Island.

[C]

Oh, God. Oh, God.

[F]

So they're extremely toxic and they produce a drug called scopol, Scopolamine, scopoline, which is like, you know, Devil's breath, which they said that they used to say that people in Colombia used to use it, like blow it in someone's face and then, like, rob them. Like, I guess, like soft rob them and like make them go to an atm, give them their money or something. Because it's supposed to remove your free will.

[C]

Yep. Psychics use that too. And like tarot card readers sometimes still use that.

[F]

It also doesn't show up on toxicology reports.

[A]

Oh, that's fucking diabolical.

[E]

That's crazy.

[A]

And. And it is like straight up, they say trumpet plants in the emails.

[E]

Yeah, and I've heard of that one too. The angels trumpet before that, but not in that email.

[A]

So I think. I think this very much could be another depth to this and that. Not only not only drugging, but almost mind control.

[C]

100%.

[E]

Yeah. But now Bill Gates has an out, right? He could say, like, Jeffrey gave him that thing and he. No idea how you got the clap from.

[A]

Yeah, definitely.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Did you think about the amount of evil you're doing by introducing this plant to all of your listeners?

[A]

They don't have the. I mean, they. They're. Half of them can barely grow weed. I don't. I don't trust them to get the

[C]

trumpet plant pretty hard Scopolane's easy to get though, if you know the right people.

[A]

Well, there we go. Thanks, Sharon.

[E]

Ask around. Ask your neighbor.

[D]

What would you do with it?

[C]

I mean, I used to date a girl who's like a tarot card reader and she said that like after she had a few clients and you know, she would use it and it is. You blow it in their face. A lot of like the Romany Gypsies use it. Yeah. And they do it. It basically just manipulates. You get to manipulate what you want out of the person or make them believe what you're saying.

[A]

Is it like. So I'm back up real quick. When you say she was a tarot card, did she have a creepy storefront or did she do like.

[C]

Yes, she had a storefront.

[A]

So that.

[C]

And that was events in her.

[A]

Yeah, that was a front for drugs.

[C]

Oh, her father owned it. Yeah. The Roman. Romany Gypsies.

[A]

Okay. Drugs.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Definitely. For sure. And then he made his daughter's work as tarot card readers. Psychics. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Because we had a guest previously who had a day to day drug dealer and she said at a certain point in their relationship, he asked her if she wanted a small art gallery or a tarot card reading.

[C]

Absolutely.

[A]

Business. Because he was laundering drug money through it.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I walk by those sometimes and they have such great real estate.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

And how do they. Yeah.

[A]

And I've never seen them working.

[C]

No.

[E]

Right.

[A]

Or. Or it's, you know, we've known some dumb dumbs that go back for a couple hundred bucks each time.

[C]

Oh yeah. People use that as therapy. Yeah, A lot of people, they go to them instead of a therapist.

[E]

My mom does it with her friends.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah. They all like, sometimes they'll zoom each other or like FaceTime. They're addicted.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Well, you're. You're Albanian, right?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

Yeah. A lot of Albans do that.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

Eastern European. Yeah, people are.

[E]

She does it with playing cards. Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

So it's like kind of cool she did on me. And it worked everything. So it creeped me out.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I always think it's. You kind of see what you want to see and they tell you what you want to hear.

[E]

Yeah, that's true.

[C]

Power of suggestion, Shannon.

[A]

I'm sure you've gone to something like that, right?

[F]

I have never gone to one. I've had them on my show.

[A]

Okay. It's. Kim and Alex used to go all the time, right?

[F]

Yes, yes. And actually, I mean, Kim has said like rave reviews about the person that she went to, Like, I've heard stories that she's told that she, like, believes in it. I would like to believe in it. I've just never had a psychic tell me anything that is, like, worth anything.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

And I'm, like, so careful to not give anything away. And they always, like, just go off my appearance and try to guess, and they're always wrong.

[C]

They're always wrong.

[A]

What do they think that you want to hear?

[F]

I had one girl on the show. We joke about it all the time, but she was telling me that she can see me, like, dancing. And I'm like, well, nope, you probably never see me dance. And doing cartwheels as a kid. I've never done a cartwheel in my entire life. So just, like, these silly things that. Yeah. That they go to. But I'm still. I'm still seeking one. Like, I have them on my show. I'm, like, seeking it, but I haven't experienced it yet.

[A]

I should get a gypsy on your. You should get a straight gypsy on your show.

[F]

I just robbed the whole studio.

[A]

Yeah. They won't rob.

[C]

They'll come back later, and they'll rob it. They won't rob you right in your face. They'll come back later.

[A]

As I've talked many times, my obsession with my big fat American gypsy wedding.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

It is the greatest of all trashy TLC shows.

[C]

I got to rewatch that.

[A]

It'll be like, this is. This is Romania. She's 14 years old, so she's dropped out of high school and is looking for a husband.

[C]

She's marrying my friend's cousin.

[A]

She's married. Yep. She's marrying our friend's cousin. She's 14, he's 32. And we are buying her a $90,000 dress even though we live in a trailer park.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

And it's got to be rhinestoned by eight women for 11 days straight. It will be too big for her to fit in the car. So we will rent a flatbed truck for her to sit on to go into her own wedding.

[E]

I don't see anything wrong.

[A]

And then a woman in sweatpants will try and ruin the wedding.

[C]

This is all real, by the way. This is also true.

[E]

Who's the one doing it wrong? We're doing it wrong. That sounds right to me.

[A]

214.

[C]

No.

[A]

You got to get through high school, dog.

[E]

But they're not going to like the gypsies. They don't. They don't care about it. It's like, not even the right Mindset for them, you know what I mean? Like, it's. It's like their culture has been like that forever.

[C]

Oh, for sure.

[E]

And they stick together, like, while we're all like, oh, you, this guy, whatever, that, like, they make it a whole thing, like, while in America, I guess, like, the weddings are just like a display of wealth. Like, they make it a communal thing. Yeah. 14.

[A]

They also steal everything.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

In one of the first episodes, they literally, they. They go to, like, a hall to, like, meet to try and rent it. And the second they leave, the guy's like, no. He's like, we don't rent. He goes, we. We don't rent to Romani's because they steal Anything that's not nailed down goes out the door at the end of the wedding.

[E]

Oh, yes.

[C]

Yes. There's a theory.

[A]

It's like old people in Atlantic City.

[C]

Oh, yeah. About how they. They were the ones who made Jesus's nail for the crucifixion.

[A]

And so it's the justification for stealing a Normani.

[C]

There you go. There you go. Yep.

[A]

It's that the. I've said this on the show before, so I'll do it quick. The blacksmith who was tasked to make the nails to crucify Christ was a Romani. He had four nails and he swiped one for him.

[C]

There you go.

[A]

So when they went to crucify Jesus, the fourth nail is supposed to go in his heart, but they didn't have it. So now. Because he stole. But it wound up doing a good thing. The Romanis are cursed. A, to never have a homeland, B, to just. You are allowed to steal anything as long it is to benefit your family or community.

[C]

Good intentions.

[A]

Yeah. So as long as it's a. In their mind, justified steal. A Robin Hood situation. Yeah. You are allowed to rob people. Yeah. And that's how they can kind of be religious and thieves.

[C]

Right.

[E]

But then they still face, like, the legal implications of that. Right.

[A]

If they get caught.

[C]

Catch them. They're always on the move.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, they're always on the move. That's what. But, you know, that's. That's when you see, like, the beggars in Europe that drug the babies and they just trade baby. Like, it'll be. They'll basically give babies, like, opiates so that they're asleep all day and not crying, and they'll switch out who has the baby.

[C]

They run shifts, rub a little whiskey on their gums.

[A]

Yeah. And they. And so if you see, like a. Sometimes I. You'll see them sometimes in the subway. But it's very prevalent in Europe where they keep the baby sedated for days. And they. That baby's out on the street for, like, multiple shifts.

[E]

Holy.

[C]

Gotta participate for the family.

[A]

I was just showing. I'll bring it up again because I want to see Sherry's reaction. The. The Rat Children of Pakistan.

[C]

What?

[A]

So do you. Did you watch American Horror Story?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Remember Pepper, the.

[C]

The one who's, like, all disformed and disfigured?

[A]

She's a. A pinhead.

[C]

Yes. Yeah. She has, like, big teeth.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that is a real deformity.

[C]

Yes, yes. Yep.

[A]

They were called pinheads. So there's a very famous one in, like, old timey circus days. His name was Schlitzie the Pinhead. And they would dress them up in furs or teach him, like, violin. And they would be like, you know, this cross between man and monkey. In reality, they were just disabled people.

[C]

Exactly.

[E]

How does this happen? Is it like Tylenol thing or.

[A]

Some people think it's more prevalent with incest.

[C]

Oh, that makes sense. Incest.

[A]

And they have an entire community of them in Pakistan. They call them rat children. And they. It's considered bad luck.

[C]

Damn.

[A]

To not give them money.

[C]

Look at them ears, bro. So kind of look like cavemen.

[A]

They have cartels, basically, that run the beggars. And you work shifts and give your begging money to, like, a boss and then he pays you.

[E]

The rat king.

[A]

Yeah, but there's. It's like a shit. Like, wasn't there like a neighbor, a temple or something there around.

[F]

Yeah, it's. Hold on. I have to go back to Wikipedia, but it's a certain area. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Shadow.

[A]

Yeah, Shadow. The Rat Children of Pakistan. So I think it's something similar to, like. What. Because what. Eventually, if the community needs. If somebody need one of those. They constrict kids heads as they're growing up so that they grow up with the tiny head.

[E]

Okay, that's fucked up.

[C]

They, like, rent them out.

[A]

Yeah. And they rent them out to be beggars.

[C]

Hey, I mean, it's wrong, but culture is culture.

[A]

No, it's definitely wrong.

[C]

But that chick Pepper looks like half of the girls in Bushwick.

[E]

Now, that could have been a good software engineer, man.

[C]

That's. That's true.

[A]

That could have been an IT guy.

[E]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Who tells me to plug something in and take the plug out and plug it back in again.

[C]

Your credit card is late.

[E]

Yeah, he's on the phone just, like, munching cheese. What's that noise?

[D]

I don't know.

[A]

All right. Hey, guys, real quick. You ever wake up in the morning and just feel soft? Like your coffee is warming your hands but not doing a damn thing for your balls or your brain? Well, that's why they created Body Brain Coffee. It's not just coffee. It's coffee with purpose. Specifically, testosterone, packed with clinically backed ingredients. This isn't your girlfriend's oat milk latte. This is for men who want to get their edge back. In the gym, in the boardroom, and, yeah, in the bedroom, too. And it's not just about tea. Body Brain is also built to dial in your focus, clarity, and mood, thanks to lion's mane Ashwagandha and L Theanine. So while your basic brew is giving you the jitters and a crash, Body Brain coffee is helping you stay sharp, calm, and locked in, all while supporting your natural testosterone levels. If you're serious about your energy, your mindset, and your masculinity, it starts with what you put in your cup. You can save 15% today with the promo code [e-mail] that's Z O O 15 bodybraincoffee.com powerbraincoffee.com poweryourday. Feel your drive. Let's get back into the show. I thought we would have. So I watched a race the other day, and I enjoyed it very much, and I wanted you guys to watch it, but I thought we would all call who we think is going to win the race. So this Shannon, if you want to bring it up.

[E]

Black guy.

[A]

There is a black guy. Yeah, but. Oh, and a black lady in a wheelchair. So let's do the setup.

[E]

The plot thickens. Oh, still him, though.

[D]

What do you call him? Sticky.

[A]

So that's stinky leg.

[C]

Oh, stanky leg.

[A]

And that is girl in wheelchair. Pause.

[C]

Oh, it's him.

[E]

It's gonna be him.

[C]

Oh, no.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Are we betting on stinky leg? Are we betting on girl in the chair?

[D]

I mean, the wheel wheels give her a significant advantage.

[A]

So you're saying wheels.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You're saying stinky leg.

[E]

Yeah. His male chromosomes still gonna win. Like, that's why it's no contest. He's gonna win. There's no chance.

[C]

Shout out Black History Month. This is.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

The best race ever to watch for Black History Month, in my opinion. Sherry, Stanky leg.

[A]

You're biting on stinky leg.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

All right. Jorge, have you seen this already? I have not.

[E]

And I want to go wheelchair just

[A]

because, you know, you Want to go wheelchair Just to keep it interesting. Just keep it interesting. All right, well, now he probably blows him away. They do say now the guy taking the video does say, I done seen this end run from the police. Which makes me want to bet Stinky leg, but I don't want to spoil it for you guys. Okay, so, Shannon, let's see. I got a hundred

[E]

on Stinky. Like, I do too.

[A]

Tripping sticky leg by the duster ass.

[E]

Watch.

[C]

I love the commentary.

[A]

Come on. Where your hunted at? Here, I got mine.

[G]

Come on.

[E]

Y' all ready?

[A]

Oh, she cheating. Go get her. Sticky leg.

[D]

Go get her.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

Let's go.

[C]

Wow, that's unique.

[A]

Stinky leg from behind.

[E]

Unbelievable.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

And she even had a head start and he.

[A]

Yeah, she tried to him on that right past.

[E]

He let her. Dude, that was his confidence.

[C]

Yo, his knuckles on the ground.

[A]

I didn't see that coming.

[E]

No.

[F]

Wow.

[A]

So think that that guy must be upper body strong. That guy can get around. And I bet his he's got knuckles like.

[C]

That's what I'm saying.

[A]

Welding glow.

[C]

He's calloused at this point.

[A]

Yeah, man. All right, so that was one for Stinky. The winners are our winners. Sherry and Christos.

[E]

Let's go.

[A]

Betting on Stinky leg.

[C]

Look, we go to the same jeweler.

[E]

Oh, nice.

[A]

All right. And now, completely changing the direction of the show, the grandson of Reese's Peanut Butter cup founder has accused Hershey of diluting ingredients and that Reese's are no longer what they used to be when their grandfather invented them. Shannon.

[F]

Okay, so Brad Reese, the grandson, wrote an open letter to Hershey's on LinkedIn claiming that the Hershey company has been misleading company companies, customers by promoting Reese's as something it no longer is. What used to be made with milk chocolate and peanut butter is now produced with, quote, compound coatings and peanut butter style creams. Reese continues to allege that the changes in recent history to his grandfather's product isn't due to supply chain issues, but rather an attempt to Hershey. An attempt on Hershey's behalf to cut corners. Scott and the Hershey company have yet to respond publicly to his statement.

[E]

I agree with that.

[A]

I don't know. I. They're still so good, though.

[C]

Oh, they're delicious. Especially right out of the fridge. Yeah, Freezer just cold.

[A]

Now, question. What's better? Classic cup, mini cup, or holiday shapes?

[E]

Can I do an alternate thin cup? I like the thin.

[A]

Like the thin cup?

[E]

Yeah, the thin ones are good.

[D]

Okay, ladies, Reese's pieces are kind of Disgusting.

[A]

Oh, not the. I mean, the. The mini. The. The. The small. The individual, like, Halloween cups. The little tiny ones.

[D]

Yeah. I think they're all kind of gross. Like, really tastes like real peanut butter. No, it's, like, chemical.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Yep. That's true.

[A]

That is true.

[E]

That's what Reese is saying. Dog.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm going to go for the. The holiday ones because they're bigger.

[A]

So for me, it's the tree.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Or the skull. Or the heart.

[C]

I like the heart.

[A]

The holiday ones.

[C]

Like the pumpkin, too.

[E]

I like the pumpkin.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I like the ratio better. It's more peanut butter forward.

[C]

Exactly.

[E]

See, I'm more chocolate than peanut butter. Yeah.

[A]

My opinion should not count because my favorite candy bar is a payday.

[E]

I love a payday.

[A]

Love and people. Very controversial. No, people think it's a waste.

[C]

Does it have raisins in it?

[E]

No, it's.

[A]

No, it's just peanuts. It's just peanuts and caramel. Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[E]

Wait. How do you.

[C]

Underrated.

[E]

I peel the. The peanuts off of it as I eat it, and I dive in. Yeah. I have a sick product. Like, that is my go to that and 100 grand bar.

[A]

Those are good.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

I keep mine in the fridge.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

I like a cold one.

[E]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Every time.

[A]

I don't know. Because a bunch of stuff is not what it used to be.

[C]

It's really not. It's not.

[A]

Everything's kind of falling off, but I don't know if there's a time where I remember it changing.

[C]

I just feel like they used to melt faster.

[A]

That could also be what I'm saying.

[C]

Like, even if it was like, a regular day in your hand. Because your hands are hot.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

The chocolate melts off.

[A]

Like, I feel like that's why they have the little wrap the bottom paper.

[C]

Okay. Yeah.

[E]

I think a couple years ago I had one, and I had that moment of like, oh, this tasted better when I was a kid sort of vibe. But then I had other chocolates that I had as a kid, and I was like, these taste the same. Like, these are good.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

But also, it makes total sense. They just came out with, like, a bunch of bullshit on those, like, lint truffles that it's actually, like, the inside is not even, like, truffle. It's like, like fat from animals or something like that. Oh, good. So, like, I believe Reese, man.

[A]

I believe him, too.

[E]

Yeah. I think it's some.

[C]

It is. It's all. Everything's getting watered down, washed down to cut costs.

[E]

All chemical, man.

[A]

It's all is Reese's. If you had a tier list candies, so S would obviously be top, then abc, where do you put Reese's? I. I go A or S. I'm

[E]

a B for Reese's.

[A]

Okay. Those are high up for me.

[C]

Yeah, that's. That's top tier for me. The Reese's.

[A]

Rebecca, what would be your favorites?

[F]

My.

[D]

My favorite candy bar is the Milky Way.

[C]

Okay, that makes sense to me. For you.

[E]

Yeah. That is a good one. I would give her three Musketeers. I'm actually surprised.

[A]

I was gonna say Almond Joy.

[C]

Oh, give her some.

[E]

I would give her a mound. No, no.

[A]

Almond. Yeah, she has a nut allergy.

[C]

It does look like she might have.

[E]

Or the. Yeah, I don't know. The nuts are phallic.

[A]

I have to ask a really dumb question. Coconut doesn't count with as a nut, right? It's a fruit.

[E]

Oh, yeah, That's a good question.

[D]

It's a fruit. But some people have separate coconut allergies.

[A]

Okay. See, thank you. I. I appreciate your intel bringing intelligence to the program because I am dumb.

[D]

Not to be too pedantic, but, like, knowing things, being intelligent.

[A]

Okay, that's fine. Well, thank you for being well informed.

[D]

Thank you.

[C]

She is very smart. I do ask her a lot of advice.

[A]

Yes, I actually do.

[E]

She didn't know who Shia LaBeouf was.

[C]

That makes her even smarter.

[D]

Probably. I don't know.

[E]

You know who he is. Dig him up of holes.

[D]

I said. He made that shitty rear window.

[C]

Yeah, true.

[A]

That's good. That means she hasn't seen the. The bad Indiana Jones. Yeah.

[C]

Oh, I forgot about that. Remember, he had, like, a mullet and then really long hair, one strand down his back. I don't. I like Shia LaBeouf's acting, but when I heard he beat up FKA twigs and his other girlfriends, it made me sad. Then he went on that John Bernthal podcast and he, like, redeemed himself. He got sober. He had a kid with. With homegirl.

[A]

Goth.

[C]

Yeah, Goth. But anyway.

[D]

But did you guys hear about that? Like, you know, like the movie Perks of being a Wallflower?

[C]

Of course.

[D]

I think, like, the actor in that is, like, really crazy in real life and, like, gets into fights all the time and, like, supposedly abducted an underage girl.

[C]

Abducted.

[A]

Good.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Wow.

[E]

So he's on his way to be a billionaire.

[C]

Baby, what is with this underage girl stuff? I love women. I've been into women since as long as I can remember. And as of you know, I'm not gonna say what? 40s? I am, but I'm in my 40s and I look at teenage girls and I just. It doesn't do it for me.

[A]

I mean, I had a moment, come on. A number of years ago where I. Because I was always of the ilk of stupid guy, where I'd be like, yeah, young tricks. That's where it's at.

[C]

I mean, yeah, Younger, but.

[A]

And then one day I had a moment where I saw two 18 year olds and I went, oh, those are children.

[E]

Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

[C]

Yes. Okay. Maybe it just takes longer for men to develop that, I think.

[A]

Well, as a comic, I would say we're all. At least guy comics are 10 years behind socially where they should be.

[C]

Oh, yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

[A]

Like, where we live. We live our 30s. Like, we're in our 20s and we got a lot of catching up to do.

[C]

That's true.

[A]

I think we're all kind of. We kind of regress emotionally when we form these little boy clubs and tell our sillies.

[C]

Yeah, tell our sillies.

[A]

And I was always, you know, in my 20s, like, yeah, man. Young girls, you know. Awesome. Fucking 18. Fucking legal tender, baby. And then I was at a pool party, and Big J had brought his daughter and her friend, and they were both 18, and they were splashing each other in the hot tub. And I was like, they're babies. Those are children babies. And I think it's now that my friends have daughters that are coming up on it. I'm like, oh, that's gross.

[C]

Yeah, it is.

[A]

Now, once 24 hits, 24 is good.

[C]

Yeah, 24, I think, is above 21, 22.

[A]

But I was gonna say that, but I was trying to. I feel like anything after 24, I can't get mad.

[E]

Yeah, yeah, 24 is good. Because, you know, after. After 21, 22, they've been railed out a million times, and now they.

[C]

A little bit.

[A]

Yeah, I was gonna say, because their brains are done developing a little bit, but, you know, that's 26 potato.

[C]

Oh, is it 26?

[A]

See, you know, you're very well informed.

[C]

Boom.

[E]

I thought 26 is men. What's men? Is it 50?

[D]

I think it's probably 35.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I scared a guy once. Like, I met him at a bar. I was outside a bar. I think I was 20, and I didn't have my ID card and they wouldn't let me in. Sorry. I had just turned 21 and I met this guy and we made out and whatever. And then I was kind of joking that I looked underage. And then he got really scared and he was like, wait, actually, can I see your id?

[C]

Good for him.

[D]

Because it.

[C]

Yeah, good for, for him.

[A]

Or he just wanted to see it, so he got a number. Let me see, Let me see your high school id.

[C]

Yeah, that's true.

[D]

But, like, I don't know. The thing that I found insulting about it is, like, he still wanted, like. First of all, I never said that I would have sex with him because, like, it is not, not a crime to make out with a child. It's just a crime to have sex with.

[A]

Remember that, Shannon? Can we, can we note that on the show?

[E]

We should get that as a plaque somewhere.

[A]

It's not illegal to make out with a child.

[E]

Rebecca Kaplan.

[A]

Yeah, the Dalai Lama.

[D]

I'm just, I never said that I was going to have sex with him, first of. And then second, it's like the idea that he thought that we were going to go in one single hour from like, I think you might be a child. And I'm scared to like, let's have sex now. Now that I've been reassured, it's like, no. Like, you either think that I look like a child or you want to have sex with me.

[C]

Like, right.

[D]

You know?

[A]

Yeah. You can't have your cake and eat it too. Especially when it's a 16 kids and you're a cake.

[D]

Oh, no.

[A]

But yes, I would say that, that, that 24 is above board. Anything below that, I think maybe you're stuck in a thing.

[C]

Something's wrong with that. I mean, I get the appeal of, like, you know what, like, tighter bodies, tighter, you know, innocence. They get to control them.

[A]

The fun thing with young chicks is you don't have to learn what they like. They just like what you like.

[C]

Right. And they're, they're, you get to feel powerful because, you know, more.

[A]

I think. Yeah, there is like a leading through life kind of thing.

[C]

Right.

[A]

You know, I, I, I've, I've, I've stayed around. My chick's my exact age, and I think that's good because we have a lot of the same reference. I get mad because she didn't have cable growing up, so I'll make Nickelodeon jokes and she does not get it.

[C]

Right, right, right.

[A]

Uh, and that makes me feel like I, I crossed the poverty line.

[C]

Yeah, I didn't have cable either, my friends did. I get what you're saying.

[A]

I feel like, did you grow up, you grew up, like, in a city though, right? Oh, no. You grew up in Delaware.

[C]

I grew up in Delaware. It's like. It's kind of like Bay Ridge.

[A]

Okay, cool.

[C]

Like Bay Ridge. Bensonhurst, kind of. It's not the city, but it's not suburbs either.

[A]

Yeah. All right, moving on. Let's play a little game, guys. This is guess the celeb nip slip.

[C]

Oh, nippy Slippy.

[A]

So we are going to check out some famous nip slips just by the nipple and see if we can recognize what female celebrities nipple. That is cool, everybody.

[C]

Yeah. I volunteer.

[A]

All right, Shannon, hold on one sec. This is guess the nip.

[F]

Okay, Here you go.

[E]

Michelle Obama.

[C]

Oh, God.

[D]

Janet Jackson.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, Janet Jackson's a good guess.

[C]

It's a nice real areola. Rihanna.

[A]

That's too dark to be real.

[E]

That's a puffy areola. Rihanna doesn't have puffy nipples.

[C]

Oh. So, you know.

[E]

Okay, I'm sure.

[D]

What makes you sure?

[E]

People have just an aura if they have puffy nipples. There's an insecurity there.

[D]

It's an aura. Yola

[C]

Zendaya.

[A]

Yeah, bigger.

[C]

She don't.

[E]

Well, Zendaya definitely has puffy nipples a little bit.

[C]

Right on the track.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

I want to say, like, Naomi Banks.

[C]

Oh, I haven't heard that name in a while.

[A]

I want to say, like, it's more of a classic. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna. Yeah, I'm gonna stick with that one.

[E]

I'm. I'm sticking with Michelle Obama, honestly.

[C]

Yeah, I say Zendaya.

[A]

Zendaya Rebecca.

[C]

I don't know how to say her name.

[D]

I. I don't know. Janet Jackson, I guess.

[C]

Sure.

[E]

No, she's got Super Bowl. She's got big.

[A]

Yeah, she's got big areolas from what I remember.

[E]

Yeah. And dark.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I don't know any of these celebrities,

[F]

so you guys all kind of missed the mark on the race here.

[C]

Oh, no.

[E]

Spray tan. That doesn't count.

[A]

Go back in. That was a black titty if I ever saw that.

[E]

Too much spray tan right there.

[C]

That's a brown nip, bro.

[A]

Yeah, she spray tanned her nipple.

[E]

Yeah, she had to. There's no.

[C]

But see, her arm is white. But see, I thought that was someone next to her. So did I. I didn't think that was her arm.

[A]

So did I. I would go Indian

[E]

as far as far as you know. That's. Yeah. This is.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

All right.

[E]

That's nipple appropriation.

[A]

Wow. And that's a nipple I've seen a lot.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Paris Hilton.

[E]

Wow.

[A]

Wow. That was a. That was a celebrity sex tape that I owned.

[E]

Yeah. Yeah, I downloaded.

[C]

Well, I definitely Jerked off to her many of times.

[A]

Like a goddamn yes man.

[E]

Yep.

[A]

We used to trade it around. High school. Wasn't. I was in high school. It might have been in college, but that might have been early college. I can't remember. All right, Shannon, bring us the next one because that one with that we. That's embarrassment for my mind.

[F]

Here's.

[E]

Oh, that's a.

[C]

That's braille titties.

[E]

That's a Pam Anderson.

[C]

Yeah, I was just gonna say Pam Anderson that.

[E]

Those are obviously fake. They're pointed north. So she's into a straw.

[A]

Shannon's talking to us. It's gonna be Oprah. All right, so we got what we think is blonde, right?

[C]

Looks like it.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Looks like a blonde white woman. Big fake hands,

[E]

but they're. The positioning of the nipple leads me to believe this is earlier surgery. So this is, you know, before they really mastered it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So, I mean, Pam Anderson feels like the safe bet.

[C]

I feel like I was saying that too.

[A]

And I feel like Ty's nipples were.

[C]

I don't think they're that botched.

[E]

They were really botched too. Yeah, like. Like cross eyed.

[C]

Oh, God.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Who are other blondes with famous blondes with big.

[D]

This is why you guys don't know anything.

[A]

Yes, 100%. This is what we spent time like

[D]

an encyclopedic knowledge of tits.

[A]

Yes.

[E]

Well, I know the FBI directors cross eyed, too.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Cash, who? Other famous blondes with big tits.

[E]

Right.

[C]

Now you say Tara Reid. Did we say.

[E]

I think it's older. I don't think you think it's older person. Yeah.

[A]

So you're going Pam.

[E]

I'm going Pam era. You know, it could be like Carmen Electra. She had a blonde phase a little bit.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Tara Reid. Did we say that?

[A]

Yeah, definitely not her.

[E]

I think her.

[D]

Jennifer Lopez.

[A]

No, no, no. I don't think she had a blonde face, did she?

[E]

She might have, but that. That's not.

[A]

Because I was gonna say possibly Jennifer Coolidge.

[E]

Oh, I love her. No, her.

[A]

But I feel.

[E]

Right.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like. And more natural.

[C]

I like the braille. I like playing with the little braille nips.

[E]

Could be one of the. The Olsen.

[A]

No, they don't have big tents.

[E]

Oh, they don't. That's right. Only the. The. The. Yeah, the Scarlet Witch does.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

All right.

[C]

Working with that.

[A]

I guess I'll go Pam Anderson too.

[F]

Okay, Shannon, you are incorrect. It is Tila tequila again.

[A]

We got got but early era. Yeah.

[E]

Tits.

[C]

I don't even remember.

[E]

She's really Having a moment again. Because she. You remember when she had that, like, psycho spiral?

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

You know, they. She was, like, alleging a bunch of stuff that now came out to be true at the time.

[C]

It's all coming out to be true, which is very scary.

[E]

Yeah. So, you know, tip your local conspiracy theories.

[C]

Was she a lesbian at one point?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Yes. And she also had a sex tape with a dude.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And they threw poop at her at the gathering in the Juggalos.

[E]

The shot at love was fire, right?

[A]

Yeah, I think.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I think she had guys and girls on tequila. Tequila. Shot of love. Yeah.

[C]

Because she was dating, like, a firefighter girl that was, like, butch, but butchier than me. Like, actually looked like a man in the face, I think.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Shannon, you have completely fooled us twice.

[C]

Good job.

[A]

Let's do a third.

[F]

Here you go.

[E]

Okay.

[C]

Ooh.

[E]

Yeah, but last time she gave us a black boob and it was a white person. Then she gave us a white boob and it was an Asian person.

[A]

Liv Tyler.

[C]

Margaret Cho.

[A]

Ooh, that's my favorite old Voss joke. He was talking about how flat Bonnie's ass is.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

My wife's ass is so flat, when I fuck her from behind, it looks like I'm getting a blowjob from Margaret Cho. Yeah, he changed it to Jackie Chan eventually, but I always thought Margaret Cho was so much meaner and funnier.

[C]

That's spot on, actually.

[A]

All right, so I'm going. Liv Tyler.

[C]

Oh, man. Give me a second here. Nikki Hilton.

[A]

Sure. Christos.

[E]

Would Sinead o' Connor wear that?

[A]

I think she might have gotten hers cut off.

[E]

But this. This looks older. You know, you don't see this.

[A]

This could be older red carpet.

[E]

Yeah, this is older red carpet. Because that kind of sequence of beat, like, I don't see that so much.

[C]

Nicole Richie. I met, not Hilton. I just keep looking at nipples, and my brain is just, like, going to mush right now.

[A]

I'm like, rebecca, you got any guesses?

[D]

I don't know, 11 from Stranger Things.

[E]

Oh, I'll go Katie Holmes.

[A]

Sure. I like that. That's a good guess, Shannon.

[F]

Okay, incorrect. Guys, it is Kim Cattrall.

[A]

Wow. Surprisingly perky titty for an older lady.

[C]

Hey.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Good for her.

[A]

Look at that.

[C]

Hey.

[A]

Wow, we suck at this.

[F]

I have two more if you want to keep.

[A]

Of course.

[C]

Can't go wrong with nipples.

[A]

I'm the last one. Shannon.

[F]

One second. Okay.

[C]

Oh, that is a red nip.

[A]

That might be Rihanna.

[C]

That is. Yeah, that is a West Indian nip.

[E]

It could be Halle Berry. No, we've seen her tits. Monster in swordfish. Right?

[A]

Yeah. Swordfish. Yeah.

[C]

No, that's not.

[A]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna go Rihanna on this one.

[C]

Rihanna's a good guess. Oh, no. Rebecca. Go ahead. Who are you guessing?

[D]

Sheila Buff.

[A]

Sure. Christos.

[E]

If the theme of people. I'm going to go Michelle Obama.

[C]

Oh, no. Demi Moore.

[E]

Oh, yeah, That's a good one.

[A]

Demi Moore is a good one. I was almost going to say Gwen Stefani, but I don't know if I know what color.

[C]

Actually, I don't.

[E]

I totally. I'm with you on Gwen Stefani. That color nipple feels Gwen Stefani.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

All right, Shannon, incorrect again. It is Michelle Rodriguez.

[A]

I got the Michelle part right. I really thought you're going to single Bob. And I was like, get the fuck out.

[C]

Even on my radar for me to even think of that. Good for her, man. Good for her.

[A]

Good for her. Absolutely. Is there any less chemistry in the history of film than her and Vin Diesel as a couple?

[C]

I mean, come on, bro.

[A]

In the Fast and Furious films, I've never watched, I've seen all ten. I love them. There's some plot holes, big plot holes, but I love them deeply. And still there's. Well, first of all, the second one, Too Fast, Too Furious. If you added one scene of the two of. Who's not Ludacris? The other black guy that's in those. Tyrese. Yeah, Tyrese of Tyrese and Vin Diesel. Who's the other? And who's the guy that died from Fast. The main guy. Paul Walker. If you added a scene where Tyrese and Paul Walker had gay sex in the beginning and that they were ex boyfriends, the whole movie would still work because the whole movie, they're just wrestling.

[E]

Really.

[A]

There it is.

[C]

He's right.

[A]

Yay.

[C]

It's very homoerotic.

[E]

Yeah, but then the target demographic of those movies.

[A]

But I'm just saying the movies would be identical if they just said they were ex boyfriends.

[E]

Yeah, just like Face Off, I guess.

[C]

Yeah, I could see that.

[A]

Dana Gould had a great bit about how Freud said, or a lot of psychologists say, that the things that represent penises in movies are cars, guns, and bald men.

[C]

Oh, I like the bald men.

[A]

And the Fast and Furious movies are just penises shooting penises at other penises. Driving penises.

[C]

Right. With bald men.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah. Vin Diesel.

[A]

All right, let's do that. We got one more, right, Shannon? Let's see if we can go. Oh, for five.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Like absolute fools. Okay. All right.

[C]

They kind of look like mine.

[E]

Yeah, this. I would say this. This is definitely an Aryan nipple.

[C]

Natasha. What's her name? Leon.

[A]

Natasha. Leon is your guess. Okay, so are we going brunette on Shan? Give us a little zoom out.

[F]

Had enough.

[A]

Courtney Love.

[C]

Oh, I love. Yeah, that's a good guess. That's a really good guess.

[E]

I feel like her. Her boobs are bigger. I feel like Courtney loves boobs are bigger.

[A]

Oh, no. What do we got? Guys, Rebecca's never gonna do this show again. She hates me.

[D]

I just don't know it. Pop culture. I don't know. It's a picture of Sherry somebody took in the bathroom.

[C]

Yep, exactly.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You, you, me, and you last night.

[E]

I'm gonna go. Heather Graham.

[A]

Excellent guess.

[C]

Yeah, I'm gonna stick with Natalie. Tasha.

[A]

All right, let's see it.

[F]

Shannon, it is Gigi Hadid.

[A]

I don't know who that is.

[F]

A model.

[A]

Great.

[F]

A Victoria's Secret.

[A]

Well, she's very beautiful.

[C]

She is gorgeous.

[A]

All right, well, we sucked at that, and that was a waste of everybody's time. Sorry.

[C]

That was not a waste of my.

[A]

I hope some people enjoyed some titties.

[E]

I'm gonna study more.

[A]

Yeah, sorry. I should have warned you guys. All right, video ring camera catches door dash driver during delivery. See what they do. She can. And

[E]

this is something no one wants

[G]

to see before their meal is delivered. A Toledo woman says she'll never order food delivery again after her ring camera caught something disturbing. Ring camera video shows what appears to be a doordash driver with her hand down her pants. Ashley May says her food was delivered Monday just after 5pm I ordered my doordash, and when it arrived, I was watching it on my camera, and I seen the person who delivered it reach, like, inside of their pants and itch or something for a little while. And then they used the same hand to, like, set my food down and then proceeded to take a picture and leave. May says she couldn't believe what she saw. I was like, I didn't see what I just seen. So I, like, rewinded it to make sure, and it was absolutely. That she did not eat the food. I went out there with, like, garbage bags over my hands and just, like, threw it right in the dumpster. I took it right to the trash.

[E]

This is what happens when you have no real problems.

[C]

Bro.

[A]

This is a little trumped up.

[C]

Yeah, it was in a bag.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Your food isn't even being touched.

[A]

So then she used the hand, set it down. Yeah, she only has two hands.

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

One was holding Food one was itching puss.

[E]

She put garbage bags on her hands to pick it up.

[C]

Oh, come on.

[A]

Give me a break.

[C]

She's never going to order delivery again.

[E]

Dude, that is someone's wife that, like, works at the news station. That was like, yes, honey, it is a big deal. Fine.

[A]

We.

[C]

If it'll shut you up.

[A]

That's a lady that needs a job.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

She's home. W. If she's home watching the camera.

[E]

Right. She should be out protesting.

[A]

She should be doing something.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Rebecca, thoughts?

[D]

Yeah, I think it's not. I think that would make the price of the delivery go up for a lot of people.

[A]

Yeah, that's very true.

[C]

I mean, Yeah, I would have went out there and asked the delivery driver to smell her fingers.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You know what I mean? Give me a little flavor saver on that finger smelling.

[D]

Can I have a look at that egg roll?

[C]

Yeah. What's up, baby?

[A]

I think. Hey, just maybe it's me. It's less bad because it's a chick.

[C]

Yes.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, maybe she was adjusting her paddle or something.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Or maybe that makes it more gross.

[C]

Yeah, that makes it even more smelly.

[A]

Maybe she just had, like, a lip fallout or something.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

It was just. It was a human moment caught by a society that has cameras everywhere. Yeah, Right.

[E]

That's sad.

[A]

Is it really that much worse than, like, picking your nose or, like, digging in your ear like it's a hole? Who cares? Grow up.

[C]

In a bag inside the container. Come on.

[E]

It's also scary for a woman to be doing that job. She's taking a certain amount of risk, you know, Allow her a little punani adjustment.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

It's not like she did it and then came holding your drink with her finger in the cup.

[C]

Right, right, right.

[E]

I've seen some of the dudes that have delivered food to me. I'm like, I, I, I don't know what's safe to touch from them.

[D]

I don't know.

[A]

I always think of those halal cart guys. They don't got a bathroom in there.

[E]

No.

[A]

They don't got running water in there?

[E]

No.

[A]

I think. And I'm sure, I know most of them make deals with the stores around, and I'm sure they cut them a few bucks a month to go piss

[C]

there or whatever, but they're not washing their hands on a daily basis.

[A]

But you're not. You're not washing your hands, and I am pretty sure they're pissing in jugs in there.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You probably only leave that thing to shit.

[C]

Yeah, that's true.

[A]

You're probably pissing in a Gatorade in there.

[C]

Oh, absolutely.

[E]

You'd be surprised how many people you pass on the road that are pissing.

[C]

Oh, I see it all the time.

[A]

All the time.

[C]

So many bottles on the street of.

[A]

Yeah, they call it trucker T. Yeah, right. When you see the Gatorade full. I've said this before on the show many times. I'm convinced Gatorade has kept the wide mouth design because they know you'll buy one at 7:11 knowing you're gonna need to piss later.

[C]

That's right.

[A]

So that's the first thing you drink in the truck.

[C]

Makes sense.

[E]

I definitely don't fit in a regular water bottle.

[A]

No. But a Gatorade, me, for sure.

[E]

Yeah, you definitely need a Gatorade one. I've never thought.

[C]

I'm just Albanian, baby.

[A]

It's not. It's that I don't have the aim to piss in a regular water bottle, especially if we're moving.

[C]

Yeah, okay.

[A]

But a Gatorade, you can just kind of put your whole dick if you're a me. I don't know about endowed gentlemen with human penises. Yeah.

[E]

For me, I can fit the dick and balls.

[A]

Just. Yeah, sure.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

Dipping and diving in there.

[A]

Yeah, I like the Red Hot Chili Pepp. All right, we got one or two more things. Shannon, what do you think we should do? Yeah, let's do this. Overwhelmed preschool teacher gives kids laxatives so she can send them home.

[C]

Smart.

[A]

I don't know, man, because you're dealing with a lot of that. That first mess is on you. I feel like you're cleaning a lot of shit before those parents, because there's a. There's a buffer time before they come get picked up.

[E]

Right.

[C]

My parents would be like, oh, well, shit your pants. I got to work.

[D]

I think there was a missed opportunity here. She could have given them the scapula and then carted them off to Epstein Island. No more work. Made a fortune.

[A]

Yeah. 100% depend. Yeah. Yeah. Preschool, too. So they were part of you, Shannon, Is there any more of the story?

[F]

Well, the kids were all two and under, so they're little babies.

[E]

Messy.

[F]

And the. The daycare center had a policy that if the kid gets sent home, then they have to be kept home for at least 24 hours. But it. It seems like. So she was giving these, like, little gummy laxatives to the kids, like, as candy. But it seems like she had done it on more than one occasion. And some of the parents were complaining that the kids then like struggled with constipation afterwards as like a result of having the laxative for such a period of time. So yeah, it seems like she is a pretty terrible person.

[C]

Oh, wow. Yeah, the kids body became addicted to the laxatives and then when they didn't have it, the body needed it.

[A]

Yeah. Then they get all stuck up.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

See now, Shannon, this is an actual bad person, as opposed to the preschool who got in trouble for the sleepy time stickers, right?

[C]

Yes, with sleepy time stickers.

[A]

So these fucking Yahoo parent. I understand being very concerned for your kid. Obviously that's a must and a sign of good parenting.

[F]

Right.

[A]

But there was a preschool we read about not too recently where the kids were coming home. First of all, the mom took it to the news and she's like, they're putting these stickers on our children to make them pass out and they're drugging them and it's full of all these ingredients I've never heard of. Basically making it sound like a nicotine patch that releases a sedative.

[C]

Yeah, that's fentanyl patches.

[A]

What it was was a sticker to put on your shirt that had lavender scent to make and like essential oils.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And it was like a smell that's supposed to help you relax. But the parents tried making it sound like they were drugging the kids.

[C]

No, that's not drugging the kids away

[A]

from that though, is it?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, what's the difference in that? And lighting incense in the room.

[E]

That's fair, I think. But maybe some parents would also be like, it's just weird because that's like something entering your kid's body as a scent.

[F]

Maybe.

[C]

Those kids stunk like shit.

[E]

That that's for sure.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Were they Indian? I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I love Indians.

[A]

But.

[C]

And the food. But yeah, if they stink like I'm gonna put a smelly patch on you too.

[A]

I think it was, come on. Maybe ill advised, but not evil.

[E]

Yeah. Yeah. Cuz the kids have smelly markers that they're using.

[C]

That's true.

[A]

They still use them. I feel like that was just how kids got into huffing.

[E]

Yeah, I think they definitely still have.

[C]

They probably made so many all the time.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

As a kid, school still. Can you look up a school still allow smelly markers? I feel like those were like almost kind of on their way out when I was a kid.

[E]

Really? Because I would sometimes paint the underneath of my nose, perhaps in a Hitler mustache, but then smell it all day.

[C]

Right.

[E]

You know okay.

[A]

Yeah, that does sound like. What is with the Los Angele mark? Depends on the school specific policy. But they are often discouraged or banned in favor of unscented non toxic water based alternatives. While popular, they cause distractions. Some brands have been associated with containing chemicals like benzene or volatile. Volatile solvents. Thank you. Leading to restrictions to prevent sniffing, tasting or health hazards. Yeah. Because.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Young. They're gonna taste them.

[C]

Yeah, definitely.

[E]

Yeah, I think I tasted one.

[C]

I think I did eat the grape one one time.

[E]

That one's the best one.

[C]

Yeah, see.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm more of a pineapple kind of guy. Green apple. All right, here's a question I saw somebody say the other day. I think it was in the Are you garb Facebook group. And we'll. We'll talk about this and we'll get out of here. Best artificial flavor. So orange grape, pineapple. Because they don't taste like the thing. Banana candy doesn't taste like bananas. Grape doesn't really. Watermelon doesn't taste like watermelon.

[C]

Now and later. Banana tastes like the banana.

[A]

Okay. Blue raspberry whatever. Whatever you want to say what to

[D]

you are the best supposedly been the banana. Artificial flavor. Tastes more like how bananas.

[A]

Bananas.

[F]

Yes.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Because bananas had a fungus in South America. So they had they. Every few generations of banana they need to grow a new version of it because the fungus kills the crops.

[C]

Damn, that's some hard work, bro.

[E]

So like Laffy Taffy banana is like how bananas used to taste.

[A]

Like chalky taste or like a runtz banana? I think. Yes. Is that more like chalky flavor?

[C]

Yeah, I remember that.

[A]

Or like they're sweeter. I think too. Like I think bananas used to be sweeter and chocolate.

[C]

They did used to be sweeter.

[A]

So best art. And I will throw mine out and I think they're gonna be two unpopular ones. Oh, Pink lemonade. Green apple.

[C]

I like the green.

[E]

Green apple's pretty good. Green apple Jolly Rancher.

[A]

Yeah, I'm with you on the green apple, Zach.

[C]

I haven't had a green apple Jolly rancher in a long time. They're so good. I like cherry down the cherry man. Give me some of that cherry water ice. Cherry Jolly Rancher.

[A]

I was going to say starburst.

[C]

Starburst cherry.

[A]

The red or the pinks?

[C]

Yes, both of them in my mouth.

[E]

Elite. I'm going to go blue raspberry. Because it's not even a real flavor. It's raspberry. But they made it blue to distinguish it or something.

[C]

Yeah, that could make sense.

[A]

I'll take it. Rebecca.

[D]

I guess like that nougaty, like, chocolate stuff that they put in Milky Ways.

[A]

I'll take it. Hey, I will also say root beer.

[E]

I was gonna say root beer too. Yeah. But I've had bad root beer, like alcoholic seltzer stuff.

[A]

Oh, the hard root beer.

[E]

Oh, yeah, that shit's trash.

[A]

The. The liquid death root beer is not good either. It tastes like somebody filled your. That you had root beer in a cup, finished it, and then refilled it

[E]

with seltzer and spit in it a couple times.

[A]

Yeah, it's unfortunate.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

The. The liquid death colas have not found it yet.

[E]

No.

[C]

They have liquid death energy drinks now too.

[A]

Yes, they do. I haven't tried them yet, but the Ollipop. The. I just tried. Oh, one of the fake root beers and it was not Ziva or something.

[E]

Oh, yeah, those are trash too.

[A]

Terrible. But now I go. I'm a mug zero guy, you know, I don't wanna.

[C]

I don't want to. Probiotic soda.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Just give me a regular soda.

[E]

I try A and W over mugs.

[A]

Either's fine.

[E]

Yeah, okay.

[A]

Either's delicious. I like a good birch beer.

[C]

Yeah, Birch beer.

[A]

Love a birch beer.

[C]

I like the black cherry soda.

[A]

Excellent.

[E]

Ginger beer boils.

[A]

Yeah. Black cherry in a glass bottle.

[C]

Yes, yes, that.

[A]

Cuz that makes you feel fancy and like you got lunch from a deli.

[C]

Yep. And a slice pizza slice with a

[D]

black cherry Stewart soda. Have you had that?

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Stewart's 100% excellent. I think glass bottle soda. Incredibly underrated. I understand why people don't get them. Because it's bad. You know, it's probably not great.

[E]

Those just more dangerous pain in the ass.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

It is more sustainable.

[A]

It's a pain. He has to throw them out.

[E]

Yeah, that's true.

[A]

You can't. Like, they're heavy. I get it. But yeah. Cane sugar soda in a glass bottle is a. Is a treat of treats.

[C]

Especially so cold.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Colder the better.

[A]

Yeah. The. The real Sugar Mountain Dew. Ooh. In the glass bottle was phenomenal.

[E]

Yeah. In Europe, have you had like the Fontas in the glass? Those are way better.

[A]

They have lemon Fonta in Europe. Really good.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

And do you know why we have Fonta?

[E]

Why Hitler?

[C]

No, Rebecca, please.

[D]

Oh, no, sorry. I was going to say because I was going to give a longer. The Coca Cola organization is like trying to. They're on like a mission to make people globally drink Coca Cola products instead of water and Fanta brands. Like, more appeal to like Latin America.

[A]

Oh, I was going to say In World War II, there were coca Cola plants in Germany, but Coca Cola would not send them the ingredients. So they took those plants and they decided to start making soda for Nazi Germany using rinds and other natural ingredients to make what became Fanta Orange.

[C]

No shit. Mistake.

[A]

No, no, it was on purpose. It was because they couldn't make Coca Cola okay anymore because they wouldn't send them the shit.

[C]

Okay.

[E]

Like, all innovation, it comes from adapting.

[A]

Yeah. So they started using fruit rinds and other stuff to flavor their sodas, kind of making the orange sodas, the pineapple, the fruit flavors. And that all came out of not being able to sell Coca Cola because they wouldn't send it to Nazi Germany.

[E]

Damn.

[C]

Wow.

[E]

Well, I guess no one's truly.

[C]

I mean, give the Nazis something.

[E]

Yeah, that's. God bless you. Have you had fonta in your font?

[A]

It's pretty goddamn. It's pretty goddamn good.

[C]

I say fanta.

[A]

I say fantasy.

[E]

I say fonta because.

[A]

Well, for me, because the commercial was Juana. Fanta. Yeah.

[C]

Stuff.

[E]

Yeah. That's also how they pronounce it.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Not to be like that douche.

[C]

Everything in Europe tastes better.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

From my opinion.

[E]

Even punani.

[C]

I mean, I've only bought punani there. I've never, you know, was never. Like, I always paid for it, but, yeah, it was good.

[A]

I agree.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Big fan. Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Big fan. All right, guys. Thank. By the way, you would share you that. One of my. One of my favorite conquests. Tiny Asian.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Tattooed nipples pierced.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Tiny boobies.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Pixie haircut.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

From Denmark. What? So she was a small Asian goth who talked like these. And she had the accent.

[C]

Oh, that's crazy.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

No, you can't come inside me.

[C]

Right.

[A]

No, you can't come.

[C]

And Sammy, come on my face.

[A]

It was. Oh, boy, oh, boy. In a bathroom stall at a concert.

[C]

Oh, God. Hell.

[A]

And all because I asked if I could see if my dick ring fit in her ear gauge.

[C]

That is clever as hell.

[A]

And I don't know how it worked.

[E]

How I met your mother.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Beautiful.

[A]

It was the first night I ever did acid.

[E]

Really?

[A]

Yes. I was seeing a band called Sex Gang Children.

[C]

Nice.

[A]

And that was. That was a hell of an evening for your boy.

[C]

Now, that is. Yeah. I'm picturing in my head right now.

[A]

Oh, you would? Yeah.

[C]

Like, hello.

[A]

Real, real gender bender.

[C]

Yeah. That accent right there would just look. You like that with that accent. Come on.

[A]

There's nothing worse than getting rejected by someone with limited English because they will Tell you what they actually don't like about you. To try and be nice.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And getting rejected in Europe was so bad. This girl put her hand on my chest when I was hitting on her, and she goes, stop, I do not like heavy men. And it broke my heart.

[C]

At least they're honest, though, right?

[A]

I think she just didn't have a way of saying, you're not my type.

[C]

Right.

[A]

She didn't have, like. She had. Her language was limited to no fatties.

[E]

Well, isn't communication better when we don't have, like, all this, like, subtle nuance bullshit?

[A]

That's fine. It wasn't like I wasn't mad.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm not mad that somebody doesn't want to fuck me.

[E]

Right.

[A]

I get it.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

I have a mirror.

[C]

You're secure enough to accept it.

[E]

I'd fuck you.

[A]

Well, you're very sweet. Thank you. And we're going to end the show on that. Thank you guys so much for listening. Please support Rebecca Kaplan and the Bad Fanfic podcast. Please support Christos and a Close the Door behind you podcast. And please support my girl Sherry supreme from the Pimp Daddy podcast. And we'll be back with a bonus episode this Friday here on the Morning Zoo. Goodbye.

[B]

Fun's begun no sleeping in noon is morning time to him Papa may go chug it down just like your favorite obi smile grab a call bed and join the crew It's Akamiko Morning Zoo It's a Miko Morning Zoo.