0103. Joe Gorman and Allie Mae

Summary

Zac Amico's Morning Zoo

Episode 103: Joe Gorman and Allie Mae

Date: April 10, 2026
Guests: Joe Gorman, Allie Mae
Host: Zac Amico
Producer (Booth): Shannon + Crew

Episode Overview

This episode of Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo brings comedian Joe Gorman and Jersey/New York comedy dynamo Allie Mae into the GaS Digital studio for a wild, freewheeling hour of riffing on the week’s weirdest news, wild stories, and degenerate observations. Expect twisted takes on Disney mishaps, Waffle House brawls, Indian viral videos, gross roommate stories, bathroom etiquette, and psychedelic adventures. In classic Morning Zoo fashion, the show’s tone zigzags between hilarious, inappropriate, and unexpectedly insightful.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Guest Plugs & Show Announcements (01:53–03:48)

• Joe Gorman promotes the “Super Celly Joe’s” podcast and his socials (@JoeWGorman).
• Allie Mae shouts out her shows “Drip” at The Stand and “Power Bottom” in Asbury Park, plus IG handle (@defaultprogrammer).
• Zac plugs his upcoming special taping in Austin, TX, and pushes listeners to use promo code “ZOO” at GaS Digital.

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2. Disney Parks: Animatronics, Trauma & Childhood Stories (03:49–10:15)

• News Story: Visitors traumatized as crows attack the Rapunzel animatronic at a Disney park, leading to discussion about how advanced Disney robots are now, and how creepy “It’s a Small World” is when it runs all night.
  • "They don't turn off It's a Small World…all night it's just going. It's playing for nobody. That's gotta be the creepiest shit in the world." – Zac (05:10)
• Fun facts: Disney robot maintenance includes annual robot “haircuts” to combat humidity frizz.
• Personal Disney trauma: Zac recounts getting hit by a room service tray as a kid, which necessitated an emergency visit from Tigger.
  • "He, like, knocked me so bad that they sent Tigger to the room." – Zac (08:32)
• Reluctance to Return: Allie: “I will never go to Disney World ever again.” (07:28)

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3. Waffle House Fights & Working Class Food Culture (11:15–18:24)

• News Story: A Waffle House brawl erupts over burnt hash browns, with the staff displaying classic “all-for-one” combat teamwork.
• Waffle House Menu Deep Dive: The team breaks down “smothered, covered, chunked, capped…” ordering lexicon (17:03), and customization options.
  • “Smothered means onions, Covered means cheese, Chunked means hickory smoked ham, Topped is chili, Diced is tomatoes, Peppered is jalapenos, Capped is mushrooms. Or you could do scattered—which means all of those things.” – Zac (17:33)
• Hotel Free Breakfast Grifts: Admission of sneaking into hotel breakfasts without being a guest, sparking discussion on “trash or classy” behaviors.

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4. Bathroom Etiquette and Roommate Horror Stories (21:24–26:28)

• Living Situations: The group shares horror stories about roommates hogging the bathroom, bringing laptops into the toilet, and the desperate need for adult bathroom privacy.
• ADHD Behavior: Segues into a relatable discussion on ADHD’s effects on basic self-care and time management (27:16).
  • "My old roommate was severely ADHD…he would make obstacle courses in the house with stations, and he'd have a different screen at each station." – Zac (27:04)
• Life Wisdom: Joe offers an unexpected motivational interlude:
  • "Give yourself a break. Get the comfortable shoes, get a nice pair of pants, go on that vacation…it's like, you have to live with yourself. So you should treat yourself nice." (26:15)

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5. Viral Indian Carnage: “Indians vs. Trains”, Carnivals & Street Bulls

(32:54–46:45)

• Recurring Segment: Zac’s fascination with outrageous viral videos from India, particularly train accidents.
• Brutal Escalator Incident: Intense reactions as the group watches/discusses a graphic incident of a man being caught in an escalator/train.
  • "No matter how bad you think this is going to be, it's going to be worse." – Zac (33:22)
• Indian Carnival Ride Disaster: Discussion about an unsafe ride collapse; 10 people critically injured (41:14).
• Bulls on Indian Streets: A man on a motorcycle repeatedly targeted by an aggressive bull; crowd inadvertently injures the victim further with thrown rocks.
  • "You know what, that probably saved his life though. Damn, that sucks." – Joe (42:34)

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6. Bob Barker & New Price Is Right Allegations (47:11–52:14)

• Bob Barker Rumors: Recent revelations about alleged racism and inappropriate behavior on “The Price is Right.”
  • "Supposedly to the point where if somebody was black, they would put a 'B' on the name card to let him know…” – Zac (47:29)
• Producer Rebuttals: A former producer claims accusers are “opportunists” bringing up 30-year-old grudges now that Barker is dead (49:11).
• Clip Analysis: Watching old Price is Right clips, the group notes Bob dodging hugs from Black contestants.
  • "Oh damn, he's juking her—it's like Madden.” – Zac (51:19)
• Drew Carey as Successor: “Drew Carey’s been doing it almost 20 years.” – Joe (51:55)

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7. Psychedelics, Safe Spaces & Tripping Rituals (53:08–59:17)

• Doing Mushrooms: Sharing stories about tripping in public (parks, Christmas displays), horror trips with food poisoning, and making "custom waffles" at hotel breakfast bars.
  • “I would highly recommend mushrooms around Christmas time and go look at all the displays.” – Zac (53:58)
• Rituals & Safety: Zac likes to “gauge” his trip by watching The Simpsons and drinks orange juice to “boost absorption.”
  • "Whenever I trip, I usually try to boost my vitamin C...it's a good ritual." – Zac (56:05)
• Relationship Realities: Zac describes his wife pushing him to cut back on frequent tripping and drinking Everclear during the pandemic.

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8. Rapidfire Degeneracy & Absurdity (63:14–64:50)

• Robot Accidentally Slaps Kid: Viral clip of an Asian child getting whacked by a dancing robot.
  • "Yeah, that's not like a robot, that's like just a gay dancing robot." – Joe (63:57)
• Mock News: They riff on the “robot arrested for the crime,” descend into bits about robot mugshots and robot porn.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On adult bathroom needs:
  "I'm 38 years old. If I wake up and I have to shit, I want to—there's a bathroom. I don't want to share it with eight other people." – Zac (20:54)

• On childhood trauma and Disney:
  "He, like, knocked me so bad that they sent Tigger to the room..." – Zac (08:32)
  "It changed you. We should all be grateful you got that brain injury at Disney. It made you who you are today." – Allie (08:53)

• On life and comfort:
  "Give yourself a break... it's like, you have to live with yourself. So you should treat yourself nice because you are the only person you're stuck with." – Joe (26:15)

• On bathroom laptop usage:
  "You can't say, 'I need to take a quick shit,' and then bring your laptop." – Zac (22:12)

• On ADHD and distraction:
  "My old roommate was severely ADHD… He would make obstacle courses in the house with stations, and he'd have a different screen at each station." – Zac (27:04)

• On Indian viral videos:
  "So far, trains are winning. Pretty… it's a flawless victory for trains." – Zac (32:55)
  "No matter how bad you think this is going to be, it's going to be worse." – Zac (33:22)

• On Waffle House:
  "The staff at Waffle House, if you attack one… you're getting swarmed...I wish all businesses…" – Zac (12:02)

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Timestamps for Noteworthy Segments

• Guest Plugs: 02:00–02:44
• Disney Animatronic Trauma: 04:29–08:49
• Waffle House Brawl Video: 11:40–15:30
• Hotel Free Breakfast—Trash or Classy?: 19:12–20:05
• Roommate Bathroom Drama: 21:24–24:20
• Adult Life and Comfort Rants: 25:31–26:28
• Indian Viral Compilation (Train/Escalator): 32:54–37:09
• Indian Carnival & Bull Attack Videos: 41:00–46:45
• Bob Barker Allegations: 47:11–52:14
• Psychedelic Rituals: 53:08–59:17
• Robot Slaps Kid: 63:32–64:17

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Tone

This episode brims with crude, carefree energy, irreverent observations, and graphic humor, peppered with abrupt shifts into genuine life advice and unexpected moments of empathy. Zac’s unfiltered style, Joe’s grifter wisdom, and Allie’s self-deprecating wit fuel a relentless string of bits, riffs, and tangents that are as likely to leave you squirming as howling.

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Episode Takeaways

• Morning Zoo isn’t just chaos for chaos’ sake—beneath the raunch and weirdness, Zac and friends sneak in genuine moments of life reflection, finding comfort, and honoring one’s own oddity.
• Iconic Soundbites: From traumatized Disney children to “smothered covered chunked capped” hash browns and “flawless victory for trains,” this episode’s memorable lines are tailor-made for fans who appreciate unhinged, unvarnished comedy.
• For New Listeners: Expect sharp turns—one minute, full-body laughter at Waffle House violence, the next, a relatable confession about struggling with ADHD or the need to treat yourself kindly in adulthood.

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[For a complete dose of unpredictably honest comedy, this one’s a quintessential Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo ride.]

Transcript

[A]

Fill her up.

[B]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network. Wake up, it's time to go. Zach Amico's got a show. Animals are here to play Jokes and guests to start your day Tell the

[A]

sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs

[B]

and cook some beef Laughter's waiting, don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch

[A]

the sky Grab a coffee and join the cre.

[B]

Well, good morning, good morning, good morning. It is a fine and dandy Monday in New York City, and we're coming to you live from the Gas Digital Studios. It's me, your other boy, the international superstar Zach Amico, saying thank you for tuning in to the morning Zoo. Across the table from me, two very funny, talented people from Super Sally Joe's is our great friend, Joe Gorman.

[A]

What's up, Zach? Thanks for having me, man.

[B]

Thank you for being here and sitting next to him, one of our favorites has great shows in Jersey, great shows in New York, and an amazing person is our good friend, Ally Mae.

[C]

What's good?

[B]

How you doing, dog?

[C]

I'm good. I'm sick.

[B]

It's all right. It happens to the best of us. Just bring that microphone down when she's outta here.

[A]

Shannon, is it Covid?

[C]

Probably.

[A]

Ah, whatever, man, whatever.

[B]

We're over.

[A]

Yeah, dude, like what? How many times I got it, like eight times.

[C]

I don't think I got to say a proper hello.

[A]

Hello.

[B]

Breathe right in his mouth.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Uh oh, there you go. Now you've got it.

[A]

I'm a super spreader.

[C]

Yeah, now you're gonna die.

[B]

So was she in college?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

All right, guys, let's get plugs out the way. Joe, what are you gonna be able to check out, dog?

[A]

Oh, my God. Well, you can check out my podcast, Super Celly Joe's. I do it with my buddy Alex Tomaselli. We post weekly, man. Follow us on YouTube, subscribe on Spotify, itunes. It's available all over. And of course you can follow me online at Joe Wgorman on all platforms.

[C]

Ally Mae, I'm default programmer on Instagram. I have a show called Drip the first Wednesday of every month at the stand. You can use my code drip for super cheap tickets. And I have a show in Asbury park called Power Bottom. It's the last Thursday of every month and you can use a code imabig and save a lot of money on that too.

[B]

Fantastic. Find me on Instagram. Zach is not funny. Punchup live, Zachamico. For my dates, most importantly, taping my special May 23rd at the Creek of the Cave in Austin, Texas. 7:00pm and 9:00pm Me and Tim Butterly splitting those hours and we're gonna each do half an hour specials. And hey, fun, fun, fun. If you love the show, go to cast digital.com today. Use my promo code ZOO. You save a little bit of money off your subscription. You get your episodes early ad free and uncensored. You get access to the live chat, the archives, thousands of episodes of all your favorite gas digital shows over the last decade. And hey, you get that Friday bonus episode. We do three of these a week, and if you want that Friday, you gotta subscribe. And Friday's episode was a banger. I had on the Workforce Titan guys, Tubs and Ryan. And we got a special call in from Paul Amico. That's right, a 15 minute call in from my dad.

[A]

Whoa.

[C]

Hell yeah.

[B]

And I listened to it yesterday and I loved it. It is one of my favorite things I've ever done on podcasting. So please check that out and thank you to our friends in the booth for all the hard work you do. All right, guys, this is a lot of what we do on the show. I mean, this. This has just been a week of the kind of shit we watch here. Yeah. First of all, this is a fun one. We love Disney shit more than anything. We love horrific things happening at Disney. This is a fun one. Disney park visitors traumatized as crows attack Rapunzel in distressing video.

[A]

Nice. Oh, my God, it's. It's the crows from Dumbo.

[C]

Is that. That's a robot.

[A]

No, that's a robot. That's Rapunzel.

[B]

So they do animatronics now. Like, there's an animatronic. The snowman from Frozen that walks around. Oh, damn.

[A]

But, yeah, but they still. I mean, they still have like a few of, like, the person, but, like, just for.

[B]

This is like more of like an exhibit. Which. Which Disney is the Shannon? I think it was somewhere in Europe.

[A]

Oh, no.

[D]

Probably Tokyo.

[B]

Okay. Tokyo. Excuse me. I thought I told Chad this the other day. I got a fun Disney fact. They don't turn off It's a Small World because it would take more to turn it off and start it back up again the next day than to just leave it running. So all night it's just going. It's playing for nobody. That's gotta be the creepiest shit in the world.

[A]

Scary.

[B]

More creepy. And I told Shannon this the other day, all the kids and It's a Small World need a haircut once a year.

[C]

What does that mean?

[A]

They're real people.

[B]

So because of the Moisture and the humidity, it makes their hair ratty. So every single year, like, barbers need to come in and give every little kid a haircut overnight while they're moving.

[A]

Wouldn't it just be cheaper to replace them every year?

[B]

No. You have a little haircut, but eventually.

[A]

Aren't they going to be bald of it or just like.

[B]

No, because it gets a little longer because of the humidity.

[C]

These are like tiny robots, right?

[B]

Yes. Okay, Shannon, bring up what It's a Small World.

[A]

Looks like they should make, like, replaceable toupees for the robots.

[B]

Yeah, I think it might be punched in.

[A]

That's a bummer. So that way they can't. They can't even, like, stylize their own hair then.

[B]

Well, they're robots.

[A]

I don't know. But I mean, like, what is a robot anymore? I think we gotta ask our. What is tech forefathers anymore? Yeah.

[C]

I. I started answering the phone at work and acting like I'm a robot.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And people think I am and they get really upset. So I'm like, it's a beautiful day at blah blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then people start going pre order. I'm pulling it off.

[A]

Real person.

[C]

Yeah, Real person operator. Yeah.

[B]

This is what it. It looks like. For those of you that have we. Fast forward a little.

[A]

What's your favorite ride at Disneyland?

[B]

So this goes all night.

[C]

I know this ride.

[A]

You've been there, right, Ally?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, the rides at Disney are kind of gay, right?

[A]

I mean, it's definitely like for.

[C]

I will never go to Disney World ever again.

[A]

Oh, don't say that.

[C]

I'm saying it.

[A]

Don't say that.

[C]

I'm saying it. I think.

[A]

What about on your birthday?

[C]

I don't want that.

[A]

What?

[C]

No.

[A]

Get out of town.

[B]

If I ever had a kid, I would consider it, but I would want to wait. I hate when people take kids to Disney when they're in, like, strollers and it's like, they're not gonna.

[C]

Not gonna remember this.

[B]

You're throwing money at thousands of dollars.

[A]

I gotta be at least like, five or six.

[B]

Yeah. I would say even maybe a little where it's still magical.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But you can still like, maintain a core memory.

[B]

Yeah. I want them to be excited to meet the characters.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But not young enough that. So, like, I remembered it. I have a bad Disney. This might be the catalyst of me talking about Disney so much. When my parents took me, they ordered room service. Nice. And the waiter accidentally brained me with the catering tray. I was little, I was like, Four or five.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That's a whole. He just knocked me to fucking.

[C]

He did something to you?

[B]

Yeah. He, like, knocked me so bad that they sent Tigger to the room.

[C]

Whoa.

[B]

Because they asked me, I guess. I'm sure they. My parents sign something.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And they're like, we'll send one up.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Ask him who he wants. And I had Tanga come up and hang out with us in my hotel room.

[C]

That's amazing.

[B]

They must have got me good.

[C]

It changed you. We should all be grateful that you got that brain injury at Disney World. It made you who you are today.

[B]

I think Disney would be fun if you had a kid.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, maybe if you're local and you get. You get someone that has a pass for you, it would be fun to walk around and, like, booze up.

[A]

I think if you got, like, a couple of kids, you're like, all right.

[B]

Well, no. Yeah. They got Epcot has a lot of drinks.

[C]

Could you. Yeah.

[A]

Epcot's boring. Like, it's educational and shit.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

I went to Epcot as a kid, and it's like, the giant globe thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But it's all just, like, histories and, like, locations and stuff. And you don't have, like, ride rides and, like. I hate to say it, but no characters dressed up in costumes at Epcot, either.

[B]

Yeah. I went when I was a little older and we did Epcot. We brought my grandma. My grandma insisted. German restaurant because, you know, you fly to Florida, you think German food, and they had a papa band, and the last guy that came out was a black guy playing the tuba. And my grandma never heard it come out of her before. Goes Schwarza. Never heard it before or after. But she dropped one there at Disney.

[C]

What does that mean?

[B]

German for black.

[C]

Oh, okay. Okay.

[A]

Nice. Grandma went old school.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I thought it was a comment about his penis.

[B]

No, no, it's just shroud. That's. Yeah. You know, it's like Italians say mugnon.

[C]

Okay, got it.

[A]

It's not.

[B]

It's not like an N word.

[C]

Right, right.

[A]

But it's like, my grandma's Japanese and she would say brack.

[B]

Don't they. Don't they call us white ghosts? Or is that Chinese?

[A]

I think it's all Asians. I think it's actually the rest of the free world.

[B]

I want to say it's Chinese. Japanese refers to white people as white ghosts because they don't. They don't trust us.

[A]

They should. We're so cool when. We love their culture. Noodles, karate, Pokemon. I guess that's about It.

[C]

Sex with.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Schoolgirls.

[C]

Women that look like children.

[A]

Yeah. Listen, hey, we kind of adopted the Asian, like, grind culture where everyone's, like, working and sleeping at the office now.

[B]

Yeah, we definitely did that instead of what Europeans do.

[A]

Yeah. And. Yeah. Instead of just, like, riding bikes and chilling all the time.

[B]

Unless you work in TV production, then a lot of naps.

[A]

That's pretty sick.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, how do I get into that?

[B]

I don't know. Have a friend that have a work for free for years for someone and hope they get a job doing it. Every. Every. When I worked in tv, every office had a couch.

[A]

A casting couch.

[B]

Yeah. Sleeping couch.

[A]

Ooh, even better.

[B]

It was nice. It was a night. It was nice to just be sick of your work. I'm going to sleep for two hours.

[C]

That's nice. Yeah.

[B]

That's what I do here.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

All right. Not only do we have Disney, we've got another stalwart of the show. Oh, a Waffle House.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

Believe it or not. A fight.

[A]

No. Come on.

[C]

No.

[B]

A fight at a while.

[C]

You are kidding me.

[B]

After Matt asked for a refund because he felt his hash browns were burnt.

[A]

That's fair.

[B]

So he decided to challenge the staff. And one thing I will say about the staff.

[A]

A black guy.

[C]

No.

[A]

I can't believe it.

[B]

One thing I will say about the staff of Waffle House. I's not the letter. The staff of Waffle House. If you attack one.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're getting swarmed. And that's. I really appreciate that camaraderie. I wish all businesses. I feel like Indian guys are like that. If you hit one in the store, they're all jumping on you like Applebee's. Something. Like, white people are not gonna.

[A]

No, white people will just, like, pull out their camera and be like, can you believe what's happening to this Applebee's?

[B]

Yeah. But Waffle House. Let's see what happens when this guy starts some shit. Big salad, too. Oh, whoa.

[A]

He's throwing haymakers. This is AI. Even the white guy got a kick in.

[C]

Did somebody just say, let's do it?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

How much for the hash browns?

[A]

He just wouldn't accept a gift card. He's like, refund the card on file. And it's like, oh, that's like an extra step. Can't you just take this gift card for five bucks?

[C]

Put that one 99 back on my chime card.

[A]

Some dude's just there waiting to order. But, like, everyone's abandoned. Yeah.

[B]

I'm sitting at the counter going, it's

[A]

like in pro wrestling where the entire locker room starts coming out. Everyone's like running out of the kitchen. Like the fry cooks are leaving shit unattended. There's a grease fire that just takes over the kitchen.

[B]

My favorite is someone's just yelling over hash brown, son. Hash browns. Shannon, how much are hash browns at the Waffle House? I'm going to bet 3:50.

[A]

Probably like with like current Waffle House prices. Yeah, probably for maybe $5. They probably have like a. It's probably like a $5 side. So it's like two strips of bacon or hash browns.

[D]

So just. I'm sorry, did everyone want to guess first?

[C]

I'm going to say 3.9.

[A]

Okay, fascinating.

[D]

Okay, so it's on average between 315 and 345 for a single serving of just hash.

[A]

I'm so out of touch. I'm so out of touch with the working class.

[C]

$3 3. All that drama.

[B]

$3.

[C]

$3.

[B]

I could have asked the Loch Ness Monster for 350. I'm the one. Give me 350. I said, God damn. That's how much hash browns is.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Can we watch it again? I just love the one lady's instinct is chair immediately.

[A]

She's.

[B]

And she's not. She's stabbing him with a. Watch the lady with the chair. Oh, those liver shots, dude. Rosie, kidney shot. What is the. The behind those lower back on the side.

[A]

That's kidney.

[B]

Those hurt like a kidney shot. Yeah, she's be liver shot with some livers from the front. I apologize. Is that, I don't know, dinner or a show, baby?

[C]

So much at play here.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[D]

Sorry, Ali, but just before you say that, just, just maybe on their side a little bit. There is also a hash brown bowl that exists and those can be.

[B]

I get that. Those are delicious.

[D]

Those can be 1105.

[A]

I bet that's with like, you know like the gravy from Biscuits and Gravy.

[B]

So yeah, it's eggs and meat. Yeah, it's like a. Of the KFC famous bowl. But all breakfast shit.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

I'm gonna get hash browns, eggs and sausage or bacon.

[A]

And you can get a grubhub order going.

[B]

There's no Waffle House near here, really. But it's not close.

[C]

I've never been to a Waffle House.

[B]

Really is a beautiful thing at four in the morning.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And it really, it feel. It's so good. Shannon, can you bring up the Waffle House menu? Because the. The. What I love is the options. Yeah, what is it? Smothered, covered, chunked, capped, and something else.

[A]

I usually go with the smothered.

[B]

Al. This is a whole new world for Ally.

[C]

Yeah, I've.

[B]

And Shannon, I'm sure you have not.

[A]

Here we go.

[D]

I have never been to a Waffle House.

[A]

Yeah. The grits are also pretty good because they usually have a little bit of cheese in it too.

[B]

Shan, just Google Waffle House, smothered, covered, and we'll get the list of what the things. Because I like the customization now if they're gonna do what you said, mixed bag. I also like that if they're gonna get your order right.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's frustrating because you're looking at them, right. They're at the kit, you're at the counter. Here we go. Smothered means onions, Covered means cheese. Chunked means hickory, smoked ham. Topped is chili. Diced tomatoes. Peppered is jalapenos. Capped is mushrooms. Or you could do scattered, which means all of those things.

[A]

That's probably the way to go.

[B]

Yeah, Right.

[A]

Like, I mean, come on, catch Gran

[B]

Ball with all that. Yeah, that'll fix you up. No, you're a little banged up. A little banged up. Waffle House run. Whenever I tour the South, I say, I asked my. The kid the feature. I need you to map out Karaoke and Waffle House.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

And then I get. I have a few at the club. Then karaoke is karaoke. And then we're going to Waffle, and then I'm buying everybody Waffle House.

[A]

If you have like an early flight the next morning, just get up early at your hotel and go to the Waffle House to kill some time if we have to go to the airport.

[B]

I am a connoisseur lately of the hotel free breakfast. I've been watching a guy that does customs and he's doing some pretty wild in there.

[A]

What's the wildest you've seen with that? Because it's like. It's just like the waffle maker and

[B]

the breakfast cereals take cereal, crushes it up and puts it in the Waffle mix.

[C]

That's nice.

[B]

And makes custom waffles. I've also seen them recently.

[C]

Fruity pebble waffles.

[B]

Yes. I've also seen them recently. Put a blueberry muffin in the waffle machine.

[A]

Oh, I bet. I bet the cleaning crew loves that.

[B]

Oh, yeah, I'm sure they're furious. Have you. Now this is more of an are you garbage question, so I apologize.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

This is our segment. Trash your classy. That we do here on the show. Have you ever eaten breakfast at a hotel you did not stay. Eaten the free breakfast at a hotel you did not stay at? Yeah, just snuck in and ate breakfast.

[A]

Yeah. Or like, if a friend staying at the hotel, you know, it's like, I'll meet you in the lobby area.

[C]

I have a friend who lives in his car, and this is how he gets by.

[A]

Nice. Dude.

[B]

That is the least surprising statement I've ever heard come out of you. I have a friend who lives in his car, and he gets by.

[A]

Is he one of the countless, possibly billions of victims of Zoran Mondami and his regime in New York? Displacing innocent people, forcing them to live in their vans and stuff?

[C]

He's from New Jersey.

[A]

Even worse. Like, so he's a. He's a person that came to New York hoping for. For freedom. And instead, Mondami, you see a lot

[B]

of, is it a car? Is it a van?

[C]

It's a car.

[A]

Oh, yikes.

[C]

It's a car.

[B]

I watch. I watch some youtubes where people show how they do it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it seems like if, you know, if you get a gym membership, that's the way.

[A]

Yeah. You can, like, use the bathrooms, and

[B]

then you get a shower. And every day, if you need it.

[C]

Yeah. I think about living in a little, like, you know, something that doesn't have a bathroom.

[A]

What? Come on.

[C]

Really? Yeah.

[B]

I couldn't.

[A]

No, never. Like, I worked too hard. I've lived too long.

[C]

Like. Like an artist loft. Artist loft. And then there's a bathroom, obviously. But then you would just shower at the gym. Why not?

[A]

I don't know. I call it a bus. I just move out to the Midwest or something. I live like a king out there.

[B]

I am 38 years old. If I wake up and I have to shit, I want to.

[C]

There's a bathroom.

[B]

Yeah. I don't want to share it with eight other people.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, they're like, get out of here, man. I'm heating up a fucking spoon over a lighter, dude.

[B]

Yeah, I need. I want the bathroom to be available. And I want it to be.

[C]

You want to be mine?

[B]

You want to be me and my wife?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I am not.

[C]

Oh, yeah, you're married. I forgot that.

[B]

Sharing a bathroom.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

With other people anymore.

[A]

You should have certain.

[B]

My old roommate Vito, every time he hurt when I used to have the big spiky hair, every time he heard the blow dryer, he would run in and goes, you're doing your hair. And I would go, yeah. He goes, I gotta drop one.

[C]

And then how long did it take you to do your hair?

[B]

10 minutes when I had the big spikes.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And 10, 20 tops if I was farting around. And he would run in and he ate nothing but protein powder and the veggie sub from Subway.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

Classic. He would literally, I gotta show, like, all right, can you make it quick? I'm getting ready. And he would go, okay. Then run in his room and get his laptop.

[C]

No.

[A]

Hell yeah.

[C]

No.

[B]

You can't say, I need to take a quick shit.

[C]

That's not quick.

[B]

And then bring your laptop.

[C]

Watch a movie on the toilet.

[B]

The amount of people that bring their laptop, my roommate. Does it drive.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Why does everyone use your phone?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

What do you need your entire laptop for?

[A]

I don't.

[B]

And it's gross.

[C]

It's.

[A]

You shouldn't take. It's also like, you should. You've got your phone and you're in the bathroom. Because then you take it up to your face. And like, I try to minimize that as well. It's like, I can. I can spend, like, you know, the five, ten minutes out of my day just shitting and not looking at your phone. And be meditative.

[C]

You can take a five minute break.

[A]

Yeah. Every once in a while. It's probably good for your eyes.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And your. Your sense. And just like, be in the moment. Now, public restrooms, I would see that as a different case because you can't really leave your phone. I wouldn't leave my phone at the table to take it. And also, it's like you might need a little sensory deprivation in a public restroom, but I think in your home, private bathroom, I think you can be enough in the elements.

[C]

Meditate on your shit.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Feel it.

[A]

Come have some. Put some candles in your bathroom.

[C]

Like, think about what you ate that led to this moment.

[A]

Yeah. Get a squatty potty so the shit just falls out of you.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, I have fallen asleep on the toilet many times.

[A]

That's a good feeling.

[B]

And what happens is both my legs fall asleep, so then I can't get up.

[A]

Oh, shit.

[B]

So then I have to hoist myself by the towel rack and stay standing for five minutes.

[C]

God bless you. By the towel rack.

[B]

To get the feeling back in my legs so that I can swing them enough to go back into my room.

[C]

That is not healthy.

[A]

You should get a little pull up bar.

[B]

I have a wall. So my toilet has a wall on the right side next to it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I like the feeling of the cold tile. So I'll go like this. And then I realized I fell asleep.

[C]

You can just take a nap on the tile floor.

[B]

I've thought about that.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I've definitely done it in less than good situations.

[C]

Hangover. You're dying.

[B]

Yeah. It happens.

[C]

But you've never taken a nap. It's not a pretty thing to do. But.

[A]

You know, I fall asleep on the. The bearskin rug on my parents floor.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

In front of the fireplace. The giant fireplace.

[C]

That sounds so relaxing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In college I fell asleep in front of the door like a cat once.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

And my roommates all came home and I was. I made it in the door and then was like, nope. So I fell asleep curled up like a kitty.

[C]

That's adorable.

[B]

I. I would say I couldn't. I knew there was a girl comic that used to live across the street from the Cellar. And she would Airbnb. She had a two bedroom and she would Airbnb the other room.

[A]

That's risky too.

[B]

And I think she made like, good money because people were paying an exorbitant amount to live. You know, it's a vacation in that area.

[C]

Right.

[B]

But she did not tell them that it was a bathroom for the entire floor.

[C]

Ooh. Yeah.

[A]

Naughty, naughty.

[B]

And then she had a shower in her kitchen.

[A]

Ooh.

[B]

And I said to her, you piss in the shower every day, don't you? She's like, exclusively.

[C]

Yeah, of course.

[A]

Absolutely. That's what you gotta do. How about you save a little of that water for me? I'm gonna make some ramen later. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

I just can't at my adult life not have some level of privacy. A shitter. Yeah. Privacy.

[A]

You've also earned that. I mean, I could understand more in your 20s.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When you're trying to find yourself. But your 30s, I think you're owed the luxury of comfort. Which is something I think, like a lot of us feel like we don't deserve.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And we don't deserve to be comfortable. Yeah. But like, everyone's worth it because it's like in the end, you have to like, fucking Gas, digital, and everyone listening in. Like, it's like, you have to live with yourself. So you should treat yourself nice because that you are the only person, like, you are stuck with. You are stuck with yourself.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

So give yourself a break.

[C]

How inspiring.

[A]

Yeah. And like, yeah, get. Get the comfortable shoes, get a nice pair of paint, go on that vacation. You're like, oh, I don't know. I could. What if something happens?

[B]

Well, what if.

[A]

What if you die and then you never get to see Hawaii?

[C]

That is so true.

[A]

You know, how inspiring. I did. I did three lines of ketamine before the show, so I'm dialed in now.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, have you, either of you ever lived, like, with someone who has severe adhd?

[C]

It's me.

[B]

Then I have to ask you a question. Okay, so Mrs. Amico is on ADHD medication, and my old roommate was severely ADHD. Like, just. He would make obstacle courses in the house with stations, and he said he was working out, but he would also have a different screen. So you'd have, like, an iPad, the phone, two laptops set up at all different. And the DVD player going. And he would make an obstacle course around the house. And both of them. I have noticed and I've heard this is a trait of ADHD people, is

[A]

to hold your duties, like, inside.

[B]

Hold them.

[A]

Oh, until you.

[B]

Like, until it's an emergency. Because getting distracted by other things. Really, the amount of times I would walk by my roommate's room and he would be in bed holding his belly, going. And they just hold it forever. And then when you have to go to the bathroom, they shoot up, like, no, wait, I gotta go really bad.

[C]

I don't know about that too much, but I forget other things. Like, I completely will, like, forget to eat or, like, I mean, must be nice. Yeah, I can. And it could take me, like, a whole day to accomplish what it might take someone else just, like, five minutes to do. But in the. In the time, I'm doing many other things, but none of those other things are ever completed. So if you saw my car right now, like, oh, my God, it's bad.

[B]

There's a guy living in it. Me and my buddy Doug did a project once for a dj, and we needed to build a set for a live show. And we went to his. His apartment building, and the basement was set up for us to build it. He's like, all right, guys. I. First we come at, like, 2, and he's in his pajamas, right? He's like, all right, guys, I'm gonna help you Out. I just got to. I gotta make a bagel first. I gotta have. I'm gonna have a bagel, cream cheese, come down. In the time it took us to build the set, he walked down still in his pajamas with the toasted bagel. And like, we built it, he goes, oh, I just finished making the bagel.

[C]

Yeah, that's really what it's like. It's crazy. It's crazy.

[A]

Maybe he had to make a really, really immaculate bagel.

[B]

No, he was just a fucking goof.

[A]

Ah, what a.

[B]

You couldn't concentrate on anything.

[C]

Nothing.

[B]

Those. Those are the days I used to. When I used to go out to, like, goth nights. Yeah. That was like, the people that, like, if you hosted it, you were four hours late. And I'm so bad at judging when you're supposed to show up to something. Like, if I see doors at 10, I'm like, pretty cool to get there at 9:45.

[C]

Oh, I'm like, pretty cool to get there at midnight. Doors. And then there's a load in.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now. Now I show up pretty. Like, it took me years to realize, oh, yeah, this actually starts at midnight. Yeah, I guess that's how it is when you go to, like, a black comedy show. Like, you see doors, but, you know.

[A]

Yeah, you're on. You're.

[C]

Oh, my God. I run trip with Naeem. The show starts at 7. He. The earliest he can make it there is like 7:10. But he has gotten there at like 8:20. I'm like, brother, the show is ending. The show is over.

[B]

Yeah, that. That's just a trait. It happens.

[A]

Cpt, baby.

[B]

I think it's not because my. I call. I refer to my wife's family and I use their. Their last name, and they said, we're on that time.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I grew up in a family where, like, if you're not 20 minutes early, you're fine. You're fine. You're getting yelled at in the car.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, mom used to make me go put my shoes on for school before she started getting ready. And I had to sit at the bottom chairs with my shoes on because she was so adamant about getting out the door at the exact minute. And by my wife's family, if we have to be somewhere that's an hour away and it's a half an hour before they'll be like, all right, guys, start loading up. And then somebody will, like, make a snack. I'm like, I thought we had to go somewhere, really. And it drives because I'm sitting with. Because I'm fucking Me, I'm sitting with my shoes on. Like five year old me.

[A]

Yeah, right.

[C]

Patiently waiting.

[B]

Yeah. Hey, guys. Today's episode is brought to you by our great [e-mail] home of the $60 kilo. That's right. Stop going to smoke shops, bodegas, or gas stations and getting a little bit of kratom at a time. And you don't even know what's in there when you go to yocratom.com today. They have the best strains, the best customer service, and they're the marquee sponsor of everything we do here at Gas. If you don't use Kratom, don't start on my account. But if you use Kratom for one of its many, many benefits, there's only one place in the world and there's no promo code needed. Why, it's already the best deal in the world of kratom. 60 bucks for a whole kilo delivered right to your gosh darn door. So check them out today, guys. Yocratum.com Home of the $60 kilo. All right, let's get back into the program. By the way, Shannon, did you like the little Zach pictures I posted on Instagram?

[C]

Adorable.

[D]

Yeah. So cute.

[B]

Bring them up. Show chow.

[A]

Yeah, I saw what a little cutie I am.

[B]

Yeah, this poor boy.

[C]

I saw that picture last night. The one. What was it? I was like, this needs to be framed.

[B]

They're all framed at my mom's house.

[A]

Yeah, those are like actual photos.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. No, they're all up at my mom. My mom will take pictures when she sees clean. I can be like, look what I found. Yeah, look at me.

[C]

I didn't see that one yet.

[B]

Look at little me.

[C]

Adorable.

[B]

And then me.

[C]

I want that hat.

[A]

That's really good.

[B]

Me as a man in the shadow. That's what I wanted to be.

[C]

Oh, yeah, the man in the shot. Yeah, I saw. That's the one I saw.

[B]

Oh, look at adorable little me and what the monster I became. All right, that's fine, Chad.

[A]

Different era, man.

[B]

We can see what a cutie I was.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

All right, we've got more. More of what we do on the show. And I apologize in advance. It started as Indians versus Trains.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

So far, trains are winning. Pretty. It's. It's a flawless victory for trains. So we do have Indian version. Another edition of Indian versus train.

[A]

Oh, let's see. Dot, dot, Indian or woo woo. Indian.

[B]

I would. I would. Those are. Those are. Those are natives I see. No, no, no.in the 711 Indian.

[A]

Gotcha, by the way.

[B]

Pause.

[A]

Oh, dear.

[B]

However bad you think this is going

[C]

to be, it's going to be worse.

[A]

Shannon, it's going to take off his head. Oh, no. Oh, look away, Ally Mae.

[C]

I can't look at that.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

No, I won't even look. I will not look at that.

[B]

How late do you have to be? There you go. I'm gonna jump on it.

[A]

That was. That was.

[B]

It was so bad. Oh, my God.

[C]

I'm so sorry. I cannot look at you.

[A]

No matter how bad you think it's

[B]

gonna be, it's gonna be worse. I was like, whatever.

[A]

And it was like, oh. Oh, the escalate. What an awful.

[C]

Can you tell. Can you tell me what happened?

[A]

Oh, he got. You know how, like, have you ever worried that when you're on an escalator, you'll get stuck in the escalator and slowly.

[C]

I don't. I do not go on the down.

[A]

That's exactly what happened to him. And that's exactly what's gonna happen if you go on an escalator.

[C]

I go on the up. I do not go on the down.

[A]

I don't even go on the up. I have someone carry me. I would throw myself on Kelly's back.

[B]

And she carries you in a baby bureau like a hangover.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

Let's watch it again.

[A]

Yeah, let's play it in. Let's play it.

[B]

Wait, wait. Let's. First of all, let's get Jorge and Shannon's thoughts.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Let's want Indiana.

[D]

Trade in every single one of these. And this is why I laugh and I don't feel bad is because it's so unavoid. It's so avoidable.

[A]

Right.

[D]

That he. He did this to himself.

[A]

Another reason we can laugh is their skin is different than ours.

[D]

Unless. Unless this was like an unal self attempt, then that's sad.

[B]

That's terrible. Jumping. Jump in front of the next one.

[A]

He probably saw a beautiful woman in an already crowded car on the train and he was like, I got to get me a piece of that. Like the rest of them. But it was already pulling away.

[B]

All right, Shadow, how many.

[C]

How many videos are there of this?

[B]

There's compliment. We've watched compilations.

[A]

Let's put that in.

[B]

How.

[C]

How many are we going to watch on here?

[A]

At least five.

[B]

Just this one.

[C]

Okay. I feel so bad if I don't watch it.

[B]

You should watch this compilation, cuz a lot of them, what happens is they're walking on the.

[C]

Of the. Maybe I should watch this Because I'm always running late.

[B]

And they get brain.

[C]

And I need to learn.

[B]

And it's not usually subways. It's like, chugga, chugga, choo, choo, Thomas the Tank Engine trains. And they get brain. Or the big thing is they're trying to take a selfie with the train coming behind them.

[C]

No.

[B]

And they don't see. And they like.

[C]

You're kidding.

[B]

The rearview mirror. I'll just send them flight. It's not like I got it like a dink.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like. They go full on. Shannon.

[A]

God, that was such a. Okay, here we go. I'm desensitized.

[B]

Whoopsie. I got it. Nope.

[C]

No, I can't.

[A]

Allie, look.

[C]

No, look out.

[A]

Look out. There he goes.

[C]

I cannot. I cannot. That was too much. That was too much.

[B]

I love the guy that puts his hand on his head.

[A]

Wait,

[C]

I'm not looking at the man.

[B]

It's over.

[C]

It's not over, Joe. You tried to trick me. Joe.

[B]

Dude, that's like when Homer tried to jump the gorge.

[A]

Yeah, it just got worse and worse and worse.

[C]

Guys, I can't watch people dying.

[A]

Why?

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

It's all part of the great. You know, in the time it took the train to drag that guy under and grind him up into hamburger, seven little babies were born.

[D]

Just an FYI. It is not. This is gonna sound insane, but it is not confirmed that he is dead.

[A]

What if he got saved by, like,

[C]

the glass is half full.

[D]

It said critically injured. And I checked with Grok after, and she said that he was brought. He had to have several surgeries done, but there is no update saying that he has died.

[A]

Oh, maybe.

[C]

You know what?

[A]

Shannon? Did you refer to Gronk as she Grok?

[D]

Well, her. Her default voice is a girl.

[A]

What? You got to turn it into a man.

[D]

No, my chatgpt is a boy.

[A]

What?

[B]

Lady, For a long time, my Siri was an Indian guy.

[A]

Google Home is a woman. But, like, it's Google Home, you know, but, like, for stuff, for information. I definitely do it in, like, a man's voice. Directions. 100% a man's voice.

[B]

I like a woman's voice when it's directions.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. It's comforting.

[A]

I feel like I know I'm actually gonna get there with the man.

[C]

I can't listen to the directions. It's so annoying.

[A]

I wouldn't listen to it if it was. I feel like I would just, like, whatever.

[C]

Like, when you're driving in the car with someone and. And everyone's like, Having a convo and someone insists on keeping the turn by turn directions with the voice.

[B]

What I like. What's the alternative Is when they have music playing. I hate when their phone is playing the music and the gps.

[C]

Yeah. Literally.

[B]

So the song will get quiet.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But for like unnecessary. Stay on this road. Yeah, that drives me a little. Not like just have it play out of your phone and play the music out of the car. We don't need to hear the directions. Oh, yeah, I guess you on the car speakers.

[C]

Right.

[B]

But then again, I'm the passenger and I don't have that. You can put on whatever the fuck you want. You're driving.

[C]

I'll get bossy as the passenger.

[A]

I'll. I'll take that. Over 1990s being designated as the navigator if you were shotgun for your.

[B]

Oh, yeah, dude. Having to sit with the MapQuest printed.

[C]

Oh, why can't you just have your phone?

[A]

And just because we're fucking old and we didn't have that shit.

[B]

We had to prove, well, that you're driving and you get pulled over for having your phone in your hand.

[A]

I think it's like even like a thing you have to have like the navigation giving you audio directions if you have it on too.

[B]

Yeah. That's why everybody has the little stand. Because I think if you have it in your hand, it's driving and texting.

[C]

I just keep it on my lap.

[A]

Ali Mae, don't say that. Do you really?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

That's what a lot of people do.

[C]

Yeah, why not?

[A]

I have my hands at 10 and 2. I don't really drive a whole lot though. Let's say real.

[C]

All right, well, Zach, are you drinking a Vietnamese coffee?

[B]

I'm drinking an Ice Chat Ice Chai. Oh, I do like Vietnamese coffee very much.

[C]

Yeah, I got really jealous when I saw that.

[B]

Hey, guys. Today's episode is brought to you by our friends at Small Batch Cigar. Simple, fast, small batch. Having cigars in the house is a real fun, easy way to let people know you are a classy individual. And Small Batch Cigar has got you covered because they've got free shipping on every order with almost every order arriving within two to three days. In the continental United States. It's the most thorough packaging in the industry. It comes with that Boveda pack, so it's super, super fresh. They have an amazing selection of rare, limited and hard to find cigars. And you earn 5% rewards points instantly with your purchase. So go to smallbatch cigar.com today and most people click the new section first. To shop the newest arrivals. And you can use our discount code. Gas 10. Gas 10 for 10% off. Plus those 5% rewards points. So check them out today. Smallbatch. Cigar.com. simple, fast, small batch. Let's get back into the show. All right. We have an Indian carnival ride.

[A]

Oh, this is going to be even crazier.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Technically, that was an Indian carnival.

[A]

Yeah, that was. That's standard. Here we go.

[B]

Here we go.

[A]

I'm nervous about. Oh, yeah. Oh, no.

[C]

It's like, aren't these people supposed to be good at engineering? Do you know?

[B]

Yeah, but I guess if the thing's made of bamboo and connects.

[A]

Yeah. And I don't know. I think, like, didn't they just get rid of the cast system over there, too?

[B]

I have no idea.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

Big mistake.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Huge mistake, that kid. Is there an update on that? Did that kill people? Shannon?

[D]

It just says that 10 people were critically injured.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Well, bring on the death.

[B]

And one more.

[A]

Here we go. This one.

[B]

We now have what I would call a surprise.

[A]

It's gonna be a trans woman.

[B]

Well, here's the thing. If you ride a carnival ride in India, be careful. Yeah. If you're around a train in India, be careful.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But apparently, if you're just walking down the street in India, be careful. Be careful. Because we have this one.

[A]

Watch out. Whoa. Get out of there, dude.

[B]

Pause.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

Hey, remember what I said about the other one? No matter how bad you. You think this is going to be, Shannon.

[A]

Oh, it's going to kill him. Look away, Ally. Oh, no. Oh, good.

[C]

Wait.

[B]

What a. It has a friend. And in the best.

[A]

You know what? That probably saved his life, though. Damn, that sucks.

[B]

This bull hates him.

[A]

Yeah, like, the bull really zeroed in on him.

[D]

Real quick, I'm gonna go back for a second because this. You're gonna see this guy in a second, throw a rock at the bull, but he actually misses the bull and hits the guy and knocks the guy out.

[A]

Oh, no. Oh, shit. That sucks. That sucks, man.

[C]

God.

[B]

Oopsie.

[A]

Damn, that sucks.

[C]

But that might be good, because now the bull thinks it's dead and gets bored.

[A]

Isn't that, like, against the law to be mean to a bull, though?

[B]

Well, that's the thing. I think they're allowed to just hang out.

[A]

Yeah. So isn't it, like, even, like, sacrilege to even do that?

[B]

Warren, what did you do to God that those bulls so mad at you, mister?

[A]

I mean, what. What the hell's going on? Leave that bull Alone, dude. I would calm the bull down like Chris Pratt did in those velociraptors.

[B]

The bull feels none of this.

[A]

This is like a long ass video, too.

[C]

Nobody has a kid.

[A]

Here it comes. He's back for more.

[B]

Dude, just.

[C]

Mason.

[A]

Nice. Get out of here.

[B]

You start curry in its eyes or something. This guy is.

[A]

It was like, come on, dude, we gotta get out of here. Dude, that's crazy.

[B]

This guy is up.

[A]

Yeah, he got trampled. He was like a one man stampede. He was Mufasa.

[C]

I mean, if I was on a motorcycle and a bull, I would just.

[A]

Yeah, I get out of. I'd burn rubber. I'd like do that thing where I'd like fucking, like. And then, like the back tire, like, puts a bunch of gravel inside. Yeah.

[B]

And try and grind the bull's forehead.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And then speed off.

[B]

Shadow. Let's watch the beginning of that again.

[A]

Yeah. He should have stopped.

[B]

Yeah, he stopped. He could have gone.

[C]

Come on.

[A]

It's his fault.

[B]

What is this thing so mad at him. I also.

[A]

Yeah, it's. It's what? I also didn't. It seemed like he didn't know how the bull was gonna react. He didn't know if it was just gonna come up and, like, sniff him or something. But maybe it was like his cologne or something that. That set him off.

[B]

Death by bulls is hilarious.

[A]

I think he was trying to establish dominance.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I think they're both males. I don't think it would. I don't think a female.

[C]

Yeah, the male has horns.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. So I think. I think that was like, just like, kind of like a dominance. Because he saw that as, like a dominance move. I'm basing this on how dogs hump sometimes because that's a female one right there. Damn, this sucks,

[B]

guys. I don't think throwing water is helping. Yeah, stop with the water.

[C]

It's like, wow, it's so hot out.

[B]

Thanks. It calms them down, guys. Save the water for us. We need it.

[A]

Yeah, the whole village is. Is coming out for this.

[B]

This is hot news, dude.

[A]

I don't know, man.

[B]

I feel like now they're gonna bring a bunch of bulls in for a police lineup and it's gonna.

[A]

I wonder if something happened where? Because I wonder if something happened with, like, he got near his, like the. The female or something, and maybe it's like mating season. So he was already, like, territorial or something? It could be maybe something like that. He. Maybe he drove past them while they were starting to mate. And because he was already in heat

[B]

I like the idea of like a little kid seeing that and they have all bulls lined up. It's like a Bronx tale. He won't tell.

[A]

Yeah, he was.

[B]

And then the bowl calls him in. You like the Yankees? You like. You like cricket? All right, moving on. What do we got here? Oh, so we. We recently found out there's some accurate. There's a documentary and some accusations against Price is right host Bob Barker.

[A]

No, Bobby.

[B]

Apparently the rumor is that

[C]

he.

[B]

He maybe was a little handsy, a little flirty.

[A]

I don't believe that.

[C]

With some ladies I heard something different and. And

[B]

a bit of a. Not progressive when it came to African American people being on the show. I think funny supposedly to the point where if somebody was black, they would put a B on their name card to let him know as well. As we watched the compilation of videos of what white people would. And hugged him and when black people would go to hug him and he would just run because. And then apparently he. Some controversy with one of the girls on the show that he was dating. He did not know had a relationship with a black gentleman. And he was none too pleased.

[A]

I can imagine.

[B]

But. So now former Price Drive producer launched a shocking attack against Bob Barker's accusers. Shannon, the volley.

[A]

Here we go.

[B]

The volley has shifted. Let's see.

[D]

So it's a pretty long post. I don't know if you want me to read it.

[B]

Can you just summarize?

[D]

So he basically says that the people that are coming out talking about him are opportunists and they're just. They're being spiteful because they are like holding grudges at stuff that happened like 30 years ago and that it's terrible that they're coming out now after he's passed away. That time has passed and they should move on. And the fact that they're not moving on shows that something is not okay with them. And then he says he plans on writing a. A book where he's gonna like, detail all of this. But for now he's saying. And he doesn't actually say none of it happened. I think he's really just saying it's shitty for people to come out and talk about it now.

[A]

Yeah, I mean. I mean, he has a point.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, I mean, it's fair.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What are you gonna do, dig him up?

[A]

Yeah, they're gonna. What are they gonna do, kick him out of heaven? He's already in. No take backs. You don't go back.

[B]

Yeah, he beat up Billy Mad beat up Happy Gilmore.

[A]

He snuck it past. God, dude, it's fine.

[B]

Hey, guys, real quick. You ever wake up in the morning and just feel soft? Like your coffee is warming your hands but not doing a damn thing for your balls or your brain? Well, that's why they created Body Brain Coffee. It's not just coffee. It's coffee with purpose. Specifically, testosterone. Packed with clinically backed ingredients. This isn't your girlfriend's oat milk latte. This is for men who want to get their edge back. In the gym, in the boardroom, and yeah, in the bedroom too. And it's not just about tea. Body Brain is also built to dial in your focus, clarity, and mood, thanks to lion's mane, Ashwagandha, and L Theanine. So while your basic brew is giving you the jitters and a crash, Body Brain coffee is helping you stay sharp, calm, and locked in, all while supporting your natural testosterone levels. If you're serious about your energy, your mindset, and your masculinity, it starts with what you put in your cup. You can save 15% today with the promo code [e-mail] that's Z O O [e-mail] powerbraincoffee.com power your day, feel your drive. Let's get back into the show. Shannon, can you bring up a clip of a black contestant trying to hug? Dude, it's so. In context of what they're saying, if it is real.

[C]

Of course it's real.

[B]

It's so funny.

[A]

So they'd have a B for black.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

Or Bob, watch out.

[A]

Good for them. I mean, like, how much worse would have been if it were N?

[B]

That would have been a tough one to designate.

[A]

They had a little N. It's like, what did that stand for?

[B]

It's like ne' er do well.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

Oh, damn, he's juking her. It's like Madden.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Is there another Is. Does he. They show another one in that?

[A]

I think he was playing it up a little bit. That's. That's fine. Don't attack me.

[B]

That's awesome, officer.

[A]

I mean, that's fine.

[B]

I can't breathe. I can't breathe. Yeah.

[A]

When did he retire? It was actually like a longer time ago than we think.

[B]

Right? Yeah. Drew Carey's been doing it a way longer time than we realized.

[A]

I think he's been doing it for, like, almost 20 years.

[C]

Is the Price is Right still on TV?

[B]

Yeah. Drew Carey's the host.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

2007. He retired.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So that was almost like, 20 years ago.

[B]

Yeah, that was 20 years ago.

[A]

19. Damn. Damn.

[C]

Wait, and Bob Barker's dead.

[A]

Bob? Yeah, yeah, he died a few years ago.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. But, yeah, Drew Carrier's been the host for a long time.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

Just tripping balls.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're seeing his car. No one. I know, one of the. I've seen one of the guys. It's a Bug, but it's like, all psychedelic.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, yeah. He goes to, like.

[C]

Wait, a Volkswagen?

[B]

Yeah, dude, he goes to like, five day, like. Like electronic music festivals.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

And like.

[C]

And why shouldn't.

[A]

Oh, look.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

That's the one on the show.

[A]

I like that he still has his, like, little Buddy Holly glasses.

[B]

But, no, he gets. I think he goes. He goes out for days.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he's out on the good shit.

[A]

Goes taps on the edge of the universe.

[B]

Yeah. I think he's having a good goddamn time.

[C]

That's the life I want.

[B]

Oh, it sounds great. Doesn't it just have that kind of money where you can go, like, get the nicest rv?

[C]

Yeah. I don't even need all that. I just want the drugs. What?

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

I like having.

[C]

I want to discount.

[B]

I like having a safe space even if I don't need it. I like no, eg. I have it.

[A]

Yeah. I want that Keith Richards stuff do forever.

[B]

I get nervous if I'm somewhere and I don't feel like I have a safety safe.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

So even if it's an rv, if it's something that I know, if everything comes crashing down for me mentally, I have a place to hide.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I don't like being out in the open if I'm gonna really try and.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Talk to God or something crazy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That could be a little daunting.

[C]

Right. But I. Are you thinking of, like, festivals and things? Like.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, I wouldn't even be at a festival. No way. I like to just, like, do, you know, do some mushrooms sit in the park?

[A]

Yeah. Which park?

[C]

Any park.

[A]

Whoa.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Interesting.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I would highly recommend mushrooms around Christmas time and go look at all the displays.

[A]

Yeah, that sounds like fun.

[C]

It does sound quite nice.

[B]

I got stuck in front of a Deals and discounts for a half an hour once at three in the morning because I went on a run and I didn't. I thought my mushrooms had worn off and I went on a pizza run for the group. I wanted pizza.

[A]

There is that moment for the group

[B]

and I was gone for a long time. And they're like, where'd you go? I was like, look at the Christmas tree stock. It was beautiful. I was just thinking about how nice Christmas is.

[A]

It is. It's a good feeling. And it's like a good sense of community, too. Especially, like, when a whole neighborhood gets together.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's really coordinates decorations.

[B]

That's a solid one.

[A]

It's fun.

[B]

That same roommate. I don't want to incriminate him. That same roommate. He. He was with us that night, and he was obsessed with drawing clocks. Uhhuh. Because he had read that that's how you can tell you're still cognitive, is if you can draw the time. So the next day, he just had hundreds of clocks. And you'd watch them deteriorate.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

Into like.

[C]

Oh, that's kind of cool. Oh, you can make like a little. What's it called? Flip.

[A]

Almost like a flip book. Yeah. Like a time lapse.

[C]

What's. What is that called? Live action?

[B]

No, time lapse.

[C]

Time lapse. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, that's.

[C]

Is that what you said?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm sorry.

[B]

He drove me. He was a very. Well, well, he would say, simple eater. He picked a few things, and those are the safe foods. And I remember getting him to try mushrooms. I split it up and he ate. And I was like, you put them on a peanut butter sandwich, you could do whatever you want. He just ate them like they were nothing. And I was like, good for you. I was like, now here's a glass of orange juice. Because whenever I trip, I usually try to boost my vitamin C. And I've always just. The people that I've tripped with have always suggested aren't like, a juice.

[A]

Like, it always, like, the vitamin C somehow, like, helps the absorption or, like, the effects of the.

[B]

And it might be a placebo that I've just. Every time I do it, I'm convinced it's a good thing to have in me.

[A]

It's a good ritual.

[B]

And he was like, I got to drink that. And I'm like, yeah. He's like, too much sugar in that. I'm like, dude, just drink the fuck? He ate the mushrooms fine. And then held his nose to drink the orange juice.

[C]

That is funny.

[B]

And it made me so mad. I was so mad to start the trip and that. My thing is, I like to gauge my trip by the Simpsons. So I'll put on a season of the Simpsons, let's say between 3 and 9. 3 and 10.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That I just know. And I can watch that. And I can gauge when it's hitting based on how fucked up the Simpsons gets.

[C]

Right.

[B]

And for me, It's. They starts to look like the original season, and the animation starts to go wonky. Then I go, all right, now we're ready.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Put in Nightmare on Elm Street.

[C]

Oh, my God. I would not be tripping that way.

[B]

Oh, dude, we did that night. We did Nightmare on Elm Street 5 and 4 in that order.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Which was hilarious because it was just people coming back to life. And then I think we did Evil Dead.

[A]

Oh, shit. Yeah.

[B]

The.

[A]

The first one.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Maybe. Maybe two. Because he wanted to watch the Shining. And I said, no, that's a lot.

[A]

The Shining is, like, way fucking intense to do. On shrooms.

[B]

I did. What was the Shining sequel?

[A]

Doctor Sleep.

[B]

I did doctor Sleep on Mushrooms.

[A]

That's still kind of a lot. Visually, it was pretty intense, man.

[B]

And I remember watching it going, this director's amazing. How does he get things to, like, sparkle like that? And I'm trying to figure out the cam, like, googling it. The camera tricks. What the fuck did he shoot this on? And then at one point, I go, oh, you're on mushrooms, stupid. And then the inevitable. Which happens to me quite a bit. The bad burps. I don't know if this has happened to either of you, to Jorge. I don't know if you indulge. Sometimes if I take mushroom. Mushrooms, not like the pill, like the psilocybin pill, which I much prefer now, I will have burp, and I'll go, when the did I have eggs? And I get those real sulfury farty burps.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Burp. I go, ew. Did I. I'll go, did I have an egg McMuffin this morning? What the did I have boiled eggs? The did I eat, like, a burp and I go up. You got food poisoning. Sometimes when I eat the dirty mushrooms, I get a touch of the food poisoning, which, depending on how you get it while you're tripping, can be quite a complicated evening.

[C]

Oh. Like you're shitting your brains out or something.

[B]

That night I had the runs.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

And I was shitting hot water, tripping, going, I never want to do this again. That's when we switched for a while back in the old creek days, there was somebody there that had pills that were half Ecstasy, half mushrooms.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

And they were fucking great because they were just the, you know, the kind of pills that you can twist apart. And there's just powder in there.

[C]

Yeah, of course. Capsules.

[B]

And so you could take them apart and choose how much you wanted to do or if you wanted to maybe not take them orally.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Oh, in your.

[B]

If you wanted to, maybe grab a straw or a dollar.

[C]

Okay. I thought inside of your asshole. Yeah.

[B]

Also possible, right?

[A]

Only if you really love the person.

[B]

But, yeah, no, that was nice, because then you could, like, half. If you were like, I don't. I want to go out tonight. You could break it open, half it, and then still have the other half.

[C]

Crazy.

[B]

That was nice.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That was during the pandemic, Ms. Amico had to have a talk with me, and she said, you tripped three times this week. Apparently, I walked into the living room at like. Excuse me. Into the bedroom at nine in the morning, and I went. I've been multiple people over multiple dimensions for the last 10 years. And I went to bed.

[C]

That's great.

[B]

And she's like, I think we're done.

[A]

Uh.

[B]

Oh, I think we're taking a break on tripping. The same conversation we had to have during the pandemic was, zach, you're in your 30s. We can't be drinking Everclear anymore.

[A]

Isn't that, like. That's how, you know you've been like,

[C]

you're still drinking it?

[B]

Nope.

[C]

Oh, you're not?

[B]

I haven't touched it.

[C]

I thought. Oh, I. For some reason, I thought you were telling me recently or something.

[B]

No, no, I haven't touched Everclear. Ever since then.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Ms. Amico might be listening.

[C]

Sorry.

[B]

No, she's not.

[C]

Oh, yeah. I'm such a narc for that little tattoo.

[B]

No, I haven't. I haven't touched it. I get it. It's bad. It's a bad road.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It happens, dude, every once in a while. Like, the.

[B]

The.

[A]

You know. You know, it's a problem. It's like when. Like, as a couple, it's like, hey, we've decided as a couple. Yeah. We're no longer doing this.

[B]

Yeah. I was on double secret probation for a little while.

[A]

It happens.

[B]

For coming home at 10 in the morning. She called me at 8, and she was like, where the fuck are you? And I went a bar. And she's like, how are you in a bar? And I'm like, Cause he locked the door five hours ago.

[C]

Right.

[B]

And we're still here.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And she's like, well, what are you doing that you're still up? I'm, like, drinking water with my friends.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I lost that fight so bad, I took a shower to rethink my arguments.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And then fought myself in the shower and then still came out and lost the second fight dramatically.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That's tough.

[C]

It's hard to go up against a woman.

[B]

Yeah, that 10. It's. It's.

[A]

It's also, like, when you've been drinking all night, it's hard to, like, plead your case and win, you know?

[B]

I was drinking water.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

And I did switch to water at the end of the night, of course, because I'm responsible.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And your last you drink should be a nice big ice water.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But not everybody. It took me a while to learn that.

[A]

Have a nice ice and then, like, have some water by your bedside so that's the first thing you get in the morning.

[B]

I would even go, I do the big jug ice water, and I throw either liquid IV or water boy in it. And I throw. And I'll try and chug at least half of it before bed and chug the other half when I wake up. And bang out those electrolytes, baby. Nice.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

Or if you're on the road, Pedialyte or Gatorade? Pedialyte.

[C]

Pedialyte is goaded. And you know what? If you want to be smart about it, you can make yourself a couple Pediatinis. Yeah. I used to pull up to the bar in Jersey with my little bottle of Pedialyte, and they would whip it

[A]

up with, like, what, like a little vodka or something?

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. I bet that hydrate while you dehydra.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Cancels out that.

[B]

The advice of someone who wears sunglasses inside. All right, we do one more thing before we get out of here. Let's go, Brandon. Fuck it. One last thing before we get out of here. Robot accidentally slaps Asian kid in the face.

[A]

Oh. Oh.

[C]

Accidentally.

[A]

Some robot on calculator. On calculator. Crime.

[C]

Oh, yeah. He did that on purpose. He knew exactly what he did not to detect. I'm so whimsical.

[A]

Yeah. That's not like a robot. That's like, just like a gay dancing robot.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Everyone's laughing, laughing. Wait, is there.

[C]

A Chinese robot was arrested.

[B]

Bad robot.

[C]

The robot got arrested. That's amazing.

[A]

That looks like something from a movie, too.

[B]

Hands up. Don't shoot. Yeah, George. I cannot process air. I cannot process oxygen.

[A]

George Droid.

[B]

Yeah, he was full of thorn. George Droid. He actually held a pregnant robot at gunpoint at one point and did robot porn.

[A]

Yeah, they found a lot of diesel fuel in his system, so he wasn't clinging.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Some people say that's what it was.

[C]

Yeah, he's lost in the sauce.

[B]

All right, thank you guys so much for tuning in. Thank you to my wonderful guests, Joe Gorman and Allie May. Fantastic as usual. Thank you guys so much. Thank you, my friends in the booth. And we will be back on Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wednesday here on the Morning Zoo. Goodbye. Noon is morning time to him. Papa Bagel. Chug it down just like the favorite old beast clown. Grab a call bear and join the crew. It's Akamiko.

[A]

Morning suit.

[B]

It's Akamiko. Work, work morning too.