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Zach Amico
Fill ER up.
James Moss
You're listening to the Gas Digital Network.
Intro/Outro Voice
Wake up, it's time to go. Zach Amico's gotta show. Animals are here to play jokes against you Start your day Tell the sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs and cook some beef Laughter's waiting, don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky Grab a coffee and join the crew. It's Zach Amico.
James Moss
Morning, Su.
Intro/Outro Voice
Wake up, wake up, wake up.
Zach Amico
Well, hello, hello, hello, hello and happy Wednesday. It's me, your other boy, the international superstar Zach Amico, returning from my mighty exodus to the Los Angeles, California to host the morning zoo here at the Gas Digital Network. It's a beautiful New York day and I am joined by two beautiful people joining the show again. Haven't seen him in a while. Love to have him here. From Digital Bazooka, it's our good friend James Moss. How you doing, dog?
James Moss
Hey, Howdy. How you doing? Good to be back, buddy.
Zach Amico
Good to have you. And next to him joining the show for the first time, but very excited to have her, it's Ms. Elena Bamfield. How are you?
Elena Bamfield
I'm good. How are you doing?
Zach Amico
I'm wonderful. Thank you so much. Let's get plugs out of the way. Elena, what do you want people to check out? Social media dates, anything you want my social media?
Elena Bamfield
I'm on Instagram at Elena Bamfield. I have a special coming out next month, June 7, on Sam Talon's YouTube channel. We're going to be doing a collab. So follow me on Instagram. Keep an eye out for that. I run a free weekly show every Tuesday at Artichoke in Brooklyn off the Jefferson L. Very good plug.
Zach Amico
Hey, you know how to plug. I love a good artichoke slice.
Elena Bamfield
It's good.
Zach Amico
Mr. Moss.
James Moss
Yeah. I'm doing shows all over. You can find me everywhere. RatboyJames. And check out the motherfucking podcast.
Zach Amico
Absolutely. Check out Digital Bazooka. So fucking funny.
James Moss
Best prank call show in the world. Everyone else is faking it. We're doing the real deal.
Zach Amico
I am. I really want to get both of you guys on with Jim Florentine.
James Moss
Who's that?
Zach Amico
The Crank Yankers.
James Moss
No, I'm kidding.
Zach Amico
I really thought you didn't. Not yet. I. I'm really. I really want to try and do a show with you guys and Florentine.
James Moss
Yes. Make it happen.
Zach Amico
And do dueling pranks.
James Moss
Oh, yeah. Do like a lightsaber duel. I'm into that.
Zach Amico
I think it would be super fun.
James Moss
Hey, guys, put them down.
Zach Amico
Follow me on Instagram @zackisnotfunny Punchup live. Zackamico for all my dates. I'm taping my special next week at the Creek in the Cave in Austin, Texas on May 23rd. 8:00pm 10:00pm Myself and Tim Butterly. And then after that, I'm going on tour with my brother, Crack Amico. Let's go. We are doing four dates. Detroit, South Bend, a bunch. Tickets are on sale now. I will have a better plug for that when my brain works again in a couple days. I'm a little foggy. It's been a lot of work and a lot of fun and a lot of travel and I'm very, very thankful for all ya. If you love the show, go to gasdigital.com today. Use my promo code, ZOO Z O O. You save a little bit of money, you get your episod ad free and uncensored. You get access to the live chat as well as the archives. Thousands of episodes of all your favorite gas shows from over the years. And most importantly, you get our Friday bonus show. We do three of these a week and the only way to get the extra one is to subscribe. And thank you everyone for being patient with me while I took a few shows off to go work on the Roast of Kevin Hart. And thank you for everybody that watched and commented. All right guys, this first story is a bit of an update. So I want to see where you guys are on that. If you know about this story, did you Guys, catch. It was a. Probably a number of weeks ago right now. Shannon, the doordash broad.
Shannon
Yeah, I think it's a couple months ago, maybe.
Zach Amico
All right, so this has been a while. There was a girl who went on TikTok and said she was a doordash driver.
James Moss
Okay.
Zach Amico
And she went to deliver a guy's food, and he was on his couch with his dick and balls out.
Elena Bamfield
Nice.
Zach Amico
So she filmed it.
James Moss
She entered the home.
Zach Amico
She opened the door.
Elena Bamfield
Why?
Zach Amico
So she said the door was open.
Elena Bamfield
It was a jar.
James Moss
That's a classic move they do. I delivered pizzas. They would do that all the time
Elena Bamfield
and then have their dick and their balls in their hands.
James Moss
Just be within the threshold, naked. That's fair play. That's. I mean, it is part of the game.
Zach Amico
So she. So he's. I don't want to. So she films inside his house and films his address.
Elena Bamfield
Okay.
James Moss
Okay.
Zach Amico
And puts it on TikTok.
James Moss
He's on Instagram live. Yo Chat. Look at this guy's dick chat.
Zach Amico
TikTok winds up taking it down a couple times. And she's trying to charge this guy, saying that he was waiting for. And this was a fetish or whatever.
Elena Bamfield
Okay.
Zach Amico
Now come to find out the door was closed and he was asleep. Drunk.
Elena Bamfield
Holy shit.
Intro/Outro Voice
She.
Zach Amico
She kicked the door. No, it was. Leave that door.
Elena Bamfield
Oh, my God.
Zach Amico
She saw him, I guess through a window or something and decided, I'm cashing in today, dude.
Elena Bamfield
I. I hate that shit so much. Where there's like, I'm going to say I was sexually assaulted.
Zach Amico
Oh, no. She said. She said that this was sexual assault.
Elena Bamfield
It's fucking crazy.
Zach Amico
100% sexual assault. And I will. I will quote Shannon here, or in a roundabout way. Shannon basically said, not only is that wrong, I think it's offensive to women who have been sexually assaulted.
Elena Bamfield
Absolutely.
Zach Amico
Is to lump those things in together.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
I think is a really shitty thing.
Elena Bamfield
It really is.
Zach Amico
So this girl crashes out on social media that she is, you know, she's now a pariah in her head that she is now a victim of this. And when I say, you ever watch three seconds of somebody and go, oh, no, absolutely. Oh, she don't blink.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Like, there she is. She is medicated. So, Shannon, do we have any of that video stuff yet? Or do we have any of the old stuff so we can kind of get an idea?
Shannon
Oh, so I have this one where she's complaining about how she's the victim. Just a very short one.
Zach Amico
Great.
Shannon
And then I can find the other one.
Elena Bamfield
Oh, God. She looks insufferable. Fired me and the police are doing nothing. I lost my job. That was my only way to make
Zach Amico
money to pay my bills.
Elena Bamfield
Whoa.
Zach Amico
So this is the guy.
James Moss
Okay. He's not beating off. He is asleep.
Elena Bamfield
He's sleeping.
Zach Amico
So here's the deal. We have all. If we drink. I don't know anyone's situation. If you drink, if you smoke, whatever. If you. Or even if you just work long hours.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Sometimes you make a doordash or a grubhub or an Uber Eats and you're a little seepy seep by the time it gets there. I would say, now this guy is straight up. Said I was drunk and ordered food.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
I bet he was like, I bet I can fucking knock one out real quick before Burger King gets here. And I'm like, wow, what a night.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah. Maybe that's the fetish. Like, how fast can I do it?
Zach Amico
So I had a friend growing up that used to take Tylenol PM and see if he could jerk off before he fell asleep. Like, he would, like, take, like, sleep medication.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And see if he could nut before he fell asleep trying to come before
Elena Bamfield
he meets the hat.
James Moss
I mean, it's got to take two hours for those to kick in.
Zach Amico
Like, I think he would really rock. He would ride the edge of it.
James Moss
Okay. Just, like, get right up to the line.
Shannon
Yeah.
Zach Amico
He had a good time with it.
Elena Bamfield
Was it Tylenol pm? That's the hat, man. Or is that something else? Benadryl.
James Moss
I've done that.
Elena Bamfield
Have you guys ro. Tripped.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
James Moss
You take like 12 Benadryl and then just fight the urge to fall asleep. I remember just seeing, like, my. My door to my bedroom kept, like, slamming down on the ground.
Elena Bamfield
In a small town.
James Moss
Yeah.
Zach Amico
I robo tripped. And then I did a whole bottle of NyQuil once.
Elena Bamfield
Wow.
Zach Amico
And I will tell you, not fun.
Elena Bamfield
The NyQuil wasn't fun.
Zach Amico
No. It sits in you shitty. And then it gave me the d something bad. It gave me the runs.
Elena Bamfield
Okay.
Zach Amico
And I was at my friend's girlfriend's house and convinced that I could. That there was part of the toilet I had not cleaned. So now I'm tired and tripping.
James Moss
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Scared to leave the bathroom. Just scrubbing the underside of the bowl. Convinced I had splashback.
James Moss
Dude, cleaning a foreign toilet is ugly work.
Elena Bamfield
Cleaning a. Yeah.
Zach Amico
And I just remember people banging on the door, being like, you've been in there for 45 minutes. I'll be like, I'm almost done.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah. I'm trying to figure out if this is my shit or your shit?
Zach Amico
Like, it was.
Elena Bamfield
What do I clean up?
Zach Amico
I just didn't want to leave and then get a text like, did you shit everywhere?
James Moss
Yeah. You shit under my toilet? How could this have happened?
Zach Amico
Listen, there is no part of the toilet if I'm. If I'm going to. If I really got it. There is no part of my toilet doesn't get abused. Like, I have shits that look like Gwar just played.
Elena Bamfield
That's that band that, like, has the, like, blood coming. Okay. As a girl with hemorrhoids, I do feel that sentiment. Like, I'm just like, if it's ready enough, it will go just anywhere.
Zach Amico
Yeah. And so I guess. So. This girl has been indicted with a crime.
Elena Bamfield
Fucking good. Because you're wrong, lady.
Zach Amico
This sets an excellent precedent against what I would call people taking advantage of the culture we're in for their own benefit.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
As opposed to doing it for the ladies.
Elena Bamfield
Do it. Yeah, exactly. There's a lot of that going around in society right now.
Zach Amico
Hey, you said it, not me. Shannon. Tell us about it.
Shannon
So she has pled not guilty to two felony charges. They are second degree unlawful surveillance and first degree dissemination of an unlawful surveillance image. And she is. Her next court date is June 5th.
James Moss
Those are fake charges. Free the queen.
Elena Bamfield
I was gonna say guilty.
Zach Amico
I bet she'll plead down to one. And it won't be a felony.
Elena Bamfield
It should be a felony, but it'll probably be a misdemeanor.
Zach Amico
And I. So I hate to be this guy, but I'm gonna do it. Devil's advocate it. Okay, imagine if it was a guy. Doordash driver filmed a naked lady asleep.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
How quickly would he be vilified?
James Moss
Right.
Elena Bamfield
So quickly.
James Moss
And where could I find that video?
Elena Bamfield
Also. Yes.
James Moss
Where specifically would it be?
Intro/Outro Voice
How fat of a woman?
Elena Bamfield
I also feel like this video. I feel like she just, like, saw a man naked laying on the couch, and she's like, I'm gonna, like, profit off of this.
Zach Amico
Yes.
Elena Bamfield
And I'm like, you're allowed to be naked in your home. That's crazy. I pay the rent. If I want to rub one out and order doordash, I will do that.
Zach Amico
You know, I had a boss when I. Many, many years ago when I was a telemarketer, my boss was the most. That Jewish lady possible.
Elena Bamfield
Okay.
Zach Amico
Like, if you remember the. The family that takes care of him in eight Crazy nights.
James Moss
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
My wig. It was that lady.
James Moss
Okay.
Zach Amico
Every day, she would order. This is. She would order from the same deli where we knew no one spoke English.
Elena Bamfield
Okay.
Zach Amico
And her, her order was, I need an iced coffee, not hazelnut. I'm allergic. And a blt Noel. Just the B and the tea. And they would fuck it up every day.
James Moss
Yeah. They're back there just making pancakes.
Zach Amico
Yeah. They don't know what the fuck this lady first they would send her hazelnut every time because she said hazelnut more than she said coffee.
Elena Bamfield
Why are you fucking mentioning it? That's how I feel as a service worker.
Zach Amico
And then. Yeah. BLT Noel.
James Moss
Wow.
Zach Amico
one time we're saying we were in Manhattan on like 30 something and it was all businesses and there were apartments across the street and somebody's work and they go, hey, look, that man's naked cleaning his house now. And we're all watching. This guy's just walking around the house naked, vacuuming. She called the police.
Elena Bamfield
What?
Zach Amico
And said, I run a business. There's a man, he's completely nude cleaning his home. And the cops went, he's in your office. And she went, no, not even close. He's across the street in his apartment.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And the cop literally went, ma', am,
Elena Bamfield
don't look tough nuts, lady.
Zach Amico
And she goes, this is a viola. I mean, there's women that work here. You got to go to his house and tell him to put some clothes on. And they went, no, that's his right. Ma', am, you actually don't have the right to look in his window.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah, that's creepy.
Zach Amico
And it was like a scream, screaming fight with the police.
James Moss
Is that the rule? Like, if you're like. I mean, if you have like a big window and you're just like in front of it naked, like looking at people walking by. That can't be right.
Elena Bamfield
I feel like it's okay if you don't live by a school.
Zach Amico
I think so also. This is like the 20th floor.
James Moss
Okay. Okay.
Zach Amico
I think if you have a first or second floor, you should be watching the nudity and people can walk by. That's one thing.
James Moss
I love the stop and look when I see someone. Like, even if I'm like, that's a guy, like, maybe about to take his shirt off. I'll watch for a while.
Elena Bamfield
I look in apartments.
James Moss
Yeah, for sure. Like, what's that? Ikea. Love it.
Elena Bamfield
Do you guys remember when Floyd Mayweather and Conor McGregor did that boxing match?
Zach Amico
For sure.
Elena Bamfield
I watched that through a window
Zach Amico
my first night of college. We all sat and watched a kid just fucking rail this Asian broad.
James Moss
Oh, my God, so sick.
Zach Amico
I mean, just take her to town.
James Moss
Like really stray fuck through the window.
Zach Amico
But we. I mean. I mean, it was like a 20 minute. We just watched him.
James Moss
You're in a folding chair. You got like a setup.
Zach Amico
Next day, first class, 10am that motherfucker walks in and sits there and we all went.
James Moss
You do like the basketball high five line by him.
Zach Amico
And he's looking at us and we're like, what? We're like. I went. I think somebody went. She playing an Asian girl as late. He goes, yeah. Why? We all saw.
Elena Bamfield
Oh, my God, that'd be my nightmare.
Zach Amico
So there used to be a. And Shannon knows about this. There was a guy who managed all myself, Jay Lewis, Dave. At a time Patrice and Voss and Bonnie. And he was very instrumental in getting me into stand up. And I will always thank him for that. He at times could be a bit scrupulous. He lacked maybe a bit of moral fiber.
Elena Bamfield
Okay.
James Moss
Okay. Bad boy.
Zach Amico
Very quick to turn a situation to his own benefit.
Elena Bamfield
Okay.
Zach Amico
Not a little little.
James Moss
That's like this lady.
Zach Amico
A little quick and loose with the truth.
Elena Bamfield
Okay.
Zach Amico
And he had an apartment not too far from here that was on the. It had a second rooftop. So it was like one rooftop, but then almost like a patio.
James Moss
Okay.
Zach Amico
On the fourth floor.
Elena Bamfield
Okay.
Zach Amico
Where he had part. We would do fourth of July there every year. But the thing is, it's a fourth floor roof and all the buildings are like 20 floors.
Elena Bamfield
Okay.
Zach Amico
So at night you can sit on like, the deck chairs up there and see into everything.
Elena Bamfield
Damn.
James Moss
Love it.
Zach Amico
And the amount of people that don't know, the amount of extremely famous comedians that have seen that have sat there smoking cigarettes and watching people fuck.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Or watching naked people. And we know there was one chick that was in on it because she started showering towards the window.
James Moss
Oh, my God, that's so funny. So I look at Big J out there eating a hot dog, just like putting conditioner on her pants.
Zach Amico
Oh. If I can tell you some of the famous, like, people that are like, I really famous now.
James Moss
Yeah.
Zach Amico
That we usually just sit up and it's not the best activity, but damn, it was fun at the time.
James Moss
Like, if you're leaving the windows open, you are welcoming it to a certain degree.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
James Moss
I don't think that's insane.
Elena Bamfield
Agree.
Zach Amico
Yeah. I think it's a shame on me, shame on you kind of thing. It's an equal, I think.
Elena Bamfield
I think no harm, no foul.
Zach Amico
I don't really care.
Elena Bamfield
It's fine.
Zach Amico
The one thing that was weird was there was a naked family and we had to Turn our chairs.
Elena Bamfield
Why would there be a naked family?
Zach Amico
We don't know. But there was a family that one day came home and it was. They all started stripping. Did you guys know the second they
Elena Bamfield
got in the door household.
Zach Amico
No.
Elena Bamfield
Have you heard about this phenomenon of people that, like, they're like, oh, did you grow up with, like, a naked mom house? And I'm like, absolutely fucking not.
Zach Amico
I know people that have.
James Moss
I've heard of the naked mom.
Elena Bamfield
Crazy.
Zach Amico
I've heard black moms.
James Moss
That's what I was about to say, are naked. That's what I was talking.
Zach Amico
A lot of my black friends have said my mom used to walk around with her titties out.
Elena Bamfield
I don't know.
Zach Amico
My mom would.
Elena Bamfield
My mom was white. She had them crying.
Zach Amico
I believe that.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah. Thank you.
James Moss
Yeah. By that.
Elena Bamfield
People don't.
Zach Amico
My mom would run in a towel out of the bathroom into the. Into her bedroom and slam the door.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And she would always announce it.
James Moss
Oh, I'm coming through now. Like that type of.
Zach Amico
Zachary, turn your head.
James Moss
You did the black mom voice for your mom.
Zach Amico
No, no, that's my mom.
James Moss
Okay.
Zach Amico
And then. But the funny thing. So my mom definitely has ocd and she, like, cleans like crazy. So my mom would clean her way out of the house every time we left in the morning. Like, scrub the floor. Oh, backwards.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Into, like, to the door. To the door. So as my mom would just be in a towel, she would go, put your fucking shoes on and go wait for me. So I would have to sit at the bottom of the stairs for 20 minutes so that my mom could clean that. To drop me off.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And come right back.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
In case in those 15 minutes, a burglar broke in and they saw that
Elena Bamfield
your house wasn't clean, and they saw
Zach Amico
that our floors were wet, and they didn't tell the other burglars an embarrass her.
Elena Bamfield
That's awesome.
Zach Amico
That was. Zachary, go put your fucking shoes on.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And to this. The last time I visited as a. I'm 38, so I think I was 37.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
My mom actually said started doing stuff and went, zachary, go put your shoes on. And I'm sitting there, I looked at my wife, I went, I think I have to put my shoes on. She was. And what? I went, sit at the bottom of the stairs until my mom's ready.
James Moss
She's gonna do the reverse squeegee. We have to wait at the bottom of the stairs.
Zach Amico
The last time I went. I went. We went for dinner, we had my homeworks. The Olive Garden. We had Olive Garden lasagna.
Elena Bamfield
Okay.
Zach Amico
Because that's what we're doing.
Elena Bamfield
Those little deep fried ones.
Zach Amico
No, the tray.
Elena Bamfield
Oh, the tray. I love the deep fried ones.
Zach Amico
I hate it.
Elena Bamfield
Really?
Zach Amico
I hate. But I grew up with real Italian food. I grew up with Italian people.
Elena Bamfield
I see.
Zach Amico
I grew up with casseroles and no, my mom can't cook for shit. But I grew up with other Italian family members. And literally I announced to my wife, she goes, I put it in the oven. She goes, I haven't used the oven in years. I use it for storage. So I get up from the table after dinner and my mom goes, hold on, let me look at your hands for spaghetti sauce. And as a 37 year old man, I just went. And my wife and my grandmother laughed in my face.
Elena Bamfield
Oh, my God.
James Moss
Your mom licks off sauce like a dog.
Zach Amico
And then I went into the living room and I went to sit down. She goes, zachary, sit on the fucking floor. I'm not allowed on the couch.
Elena Bamfield
You're not allowed on the couch?
Zach Amico
I'm not allowed on the couch. I'm like having a big dog.
James Moss
Yeah, you're just a stray. They brought it.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
James Moss
I love my mom to death. If she spoke to me like that in front of my lady, I might have to swing on her. She tried cleaning sauce off my hands.
Zach Amico
Not only did I tell you, mom tell me not to sit on the couch. You know, the way you would tell a dog to get off the couch. She snaps and points at the floor as you, Zachary, floor. Oh my God.
James Moss
You curl up in the little dog.
Zach Amico
And it is because When I was 13, I was very Hot Topic, okay? And I had pants with snaps on the back and it poked a pin sized hole in the couch. And ever since then, if I walk in the door, my mom goes, zachary, what the hell kind of pants you got on?
Elena Bamfield
I love that your mom so has ocd. Because that is a thing. That's a thing for her. And she's like, you now cannot sit on the couch.
Zach Amico
And I have not been allowed on the couch.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
James Moss
This is so funny. You're like the goth kid from Sopranos.
Zach Amico
Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm aj. Yeah, yeah.
James Moss
Hey, what are you doing?
Elena Bamfield
You're fucking.
Zach Amico
You're embarrassment to me, not Adrian.
James Moss
You look like a Puerto Rican whore.
Zach Amico
Yeah, finish that. Don't like a Puerto Rican who. But yes, that very close that my loves to you. Is that because of that? And then this had to happen. I think I was right. When me and my wife Got together, somebody in the family passed away. It was her. The first funeral she went to, not even before it. Actually, it was before it. And my grandmother stepped in bird shit after the funeral and accidentally got in my mom's car.
Elena Bamfield
Oh, no.
James Moss
Oh, hell no.
Zach Amico
So to this day, at every funeral, my mom, as we get in the car, goes, check your shoes. To fucking birdpiece.
Elena Bamfield
Check your shoes. I love this part.
Zach Amico
And my mom checks everyone's shoes.
James Moss
Yes.
Zach Amico
Because her interpretation of someone we love dying. Yeah.
Elena Bamfield
Is.
Zach Amico
Is bird shit in the car.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah, yeah.
James Moss
This is her version of grief. Yes. Just like holding someone's hand and being
Elena Bamfield
like the eighth stage.
James Moss
This is not going to be good for my car.
Zach Amico
All right, I got some trauma dumping done on that one. Hey, zoo files. Most men start losing testosterone around 30. Mars Men is here to help you fight back. Mars Men is designed to help unlock testosterone. Just take capsules daily in the morning with food, no synthetics, no needles. Mars Men has real ingredients like zinc, boron and vitamin D to support healthy T levels, natural energy and improve stamina. I love Mars Men because it's an easy, natural way to feel stronger and feel like I have more energy. Mars Men is made in the USA and third party lab tested with a 90 day risk free trial. You have to check it out for a limited time. Morning Zoo fans get 50% off for life plus free shipping and three free gifts@ Mengotomars.com that's men go to Mars.com for 50% off for life and three free gifts when you check out. Mars Men is also available on Amazon. After you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Support the show and tell them Zack Amico's Morning Zoo sent you. All right, let's get back into the show. Let's do a fun one. I think I've heard of this before, but I've never seen it in action. There's a guy who made a video that when you order at the kiosk at Wawa, there is a contra code type thing to put in that opens up a secret menu.
Elena Bamfield
What is with all these secret menus everywhere?
Zach Amico
I think it makes people feel like
Elena Bamfield
it must part of it, okay? Because I work at places like Starbucks and stuff like that. And I'm like, everyone, if people like ask about the secret menu, I'm like, I don't fucking know. I wouldn't know how to make anything off the secret menu either.
Zach Amico
I think it's marketing, okay? In a weird backwards way. Because what it does is it makes people want to go to the place
Elena Bamfield
and do it themselves.
James Moss
Because then you're in.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Do it yourself because you feel it. But then you're just getting them to order the same shit they were gonna get anyway. Like that whole, like, McDonald's secret menu. It's just fucking McDonald's.
Elena Bamfield
It's just McDonald's.
Zach Amico
Or the taco Bell one. Like there's no. Like, you could have done that. Yeah, we didn't need.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
A fucking instructional. Now, I will say Arby's Meat Mountain course with different color. But I love our course. So this guy said. And so, Shannon, can you bring up the video of this guy bringing up. And then if you could try and see what's on it? Because I know in the video they don't show what's on it. Up, up, down, down, up, up, down, up. And then this button in the corner and see, it unlocks a little vault.
Elena Bamfield
Whoa.
James Moss
This is how you get max ammo in a flying car.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
James Moss
Oh, that's cool. There is a fun animation for it.
Zach Amico
Yeah. Isn't that fun?
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
So, Shannon, could you look up and see possibly what's on it?
Shannon
So one thing real quick is that when I did look it up, it said that it seems it's just tapping that small goose logo in the bottom left corner. That's what does it. You don't have to do the whole.
Zach Amico
Oh, so he just made a thing out of it.
Shannon
Yeah, he did a thing. And it says it's a historically featured items like birthday cake, milkshakes and smoothie smoothies. But it's usually limited time. Seasonal items such as rainbow bagels, customized drinks, and it's not always active.
Zach Amico
Well, that's super fun.
James Moss
Yeah.
Elena Bamfield
It makes it a little more exclusive that it's not always active.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
James Moss
You know? Yeah. Being on a surprise like pulling up to the Wawa on the road trip and putting on your hacker gloves.
Zach Amico
There is nothing. When I found out you could put cheesesteak meat on your Mac and cheese at Wawa, that was a game changer.
Elena Bamfield
I didn't even know that they had Mac and cheese. And they don't have that in Michigan. We don't have Wawa in Michigan.
Zach Amico
And the. Yeah. When they have the seasonal cheesesteaks.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
You can just get the meat and the cheese on top of Mac and cheese.
Elena Bamfield
That sounds good.
Zach Amico
And that is a. That is a good piece of business. Yeah.
James Moss
At the Wawa, I don't normally do the order because then it's like you get the receipt and you have to wait 10 minutes. I normally just Go for, like, whatever's sitting under the heat lamps.
Shannon
Yeah.
James Moss
I'll take the, like, the spicy chicken that's been out for, like, two days. I'm chill with that.
Zach Amico
I'm fine with the pretzel. And the snickerdoodle cookie is exceptionally good.
Elena Bamfield
Ooh.
Zach Amico
My friend Alex Tomaselli turned me onto that.
Elena Bamfield
Ooh, I love Selly.
Zach Amico
Oh, yeah, that's my road dog.
Elena Bamfield
Awesome.
Zach Amico
I've said before that if you looked at me and Tomiselle on the road.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And didn't know we were comedians, you would think we are the cutest boyfriends.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Like, we've had days on the road that, like, if we were a gay couple.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Like, the last of us, like, we. Our day, like, on the road would be like, if we were both dying in bed holding hands. That would be the day we remembered. Like, I remember that day. We drove around looking at antique shops and comic book stores. And then we went and got hot dogs and smoked a joint in the park.
Elena Bamfield
Isn't the road so great?
Zach Amico
Thomas Deli's great, too. He's so much fun on the road. Some of the secret I get to see. I get the idea of it because it brings in people for sure. I could see it being very annoying as an employee.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
They should probably warn you.
Elena Bamfield
They should warn you.
Zach Amico
Or if you're gonna come in with a request, you gotta have the instructions. Like, they can't come up. As you work at Starbucks, you can't be like, I want the fucking unicorn.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah, I want the unicorn come. And then you're like, what is that? You know, how do I make that? Um, yeah. I think if it's regular items, it's totally fine. But they could have put something more fun on there than birthday cake.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
James Moss
Like, I don't know. Yeah. Hitting anyone, like, any employee with just, like, a name of thing and then being upset they don't know what it is. Like, at Starbucks. Like, let me get the Cincinnati special.
Zach Amico
I've heard. I've definitely heard of people ordering. What is it, the T. Rex.
James Moss
I don't know the T. Rex.
Zach Amico
I don't know the T. Rex at Wendy's. Or I've also heard it called the meat cube.
Elena Bamfield
He's cute.
Zach Amico
It's like nine patties.
Elena Bamfield
Oh, my God.
Zach Amico
And it's called a T. Rex because you have to eat it like a T. Rex.
Elena Bamfield
Oh. And they're square patties, so that's why it's a cube. I'm like, why would it be a cube?
Zach Amico
And then I've Talked about it ad nauseam. But Meat Mountain at Arby's was a revelation of flavor. I don't know if you're familiar.
Elena Bamfield
I've never had the Meat Mountain, but I love a classic beef and cheddar.
James Moss
Yeah, the seasoned curlies are mean, too.
Elena Bamfield
Curlies are good.
James Moss
I worked at a Whataburger back in the day, and I distinctly remember one kid coming in. It must have been like, 16, but like, one of the big, like, football 16 year olds. And he was like, what's. Like the. What's a thing that's not on the menu? And, like, the fry cook was just like, I don't know, we could do like, six of them. They just, like, stacked like. It was like, that's a. I mean, we only have burgers, but it's either that or a fish sandwich. So, yeah, we gave them the six of them.
Zach Amico
I did. I did a pilot for a TV show years ago, and they wanted me to do the thing. Was my character, everything I do, they want me to eat.
Elena Bamfield
Okay.
Zach Amico
They always, even if it's not in the script, somebody hands me chips or something because they want the fat guy to be eating in the scene. And I did a pilot where I had to have the MC 1035, which was a.
James Moss
It's your blood pressure.
Zach Amico
Yes. A MC. A sausage. MCM. Egg. Sausage. Egg McMuffin.
James Moss
Okay.
Zach Amico
And double cheeseburger in one combined. And then later, I had to do the. What they call the McGang Bang now is just like a McChicken in a McDouble.
James Moss
Yes.
Zach Amico
What it was then, or whoever's interpretation of it, was you get a Big Mac and three McChickens, and you throw the three breads out and replace them with McChicken patties.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
So it's McChicken burger. McChicken burger. McChicken.
James Moss
Love it.
Zach Amico
And I had to eat one of those in a scene. Maybe the worst farts in history.
Elena Bamfield
How many takes do you like? How many takes did you have to do? And, like, do you like.
Zach Amico
I was trying to do the new
Elena Bamfield
one for the next scene.
Zach Amico
They had a second one that I did not break into. Okay, nice. Because I would take a fake big bite and then turn it in my hand.
James Moss
Yeah.
Elena Bamfield
Oh, okay. I see the sandwich itself.
Zach Amico
Yeah. You have to cut. Because they wanted me to bite it. They wanted it on film. But I kind of had. Because I had another movie where I had to eat and I had, like, four roast beef sandwiches.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And I wanted to die.
Elena Bamfield
Do they have, like, a spit bucket or something?
Zach Amico
They Call it a chow. A chow bucket.
Elena Bamfield
Okay. Cause I'm assuming you eat every time. Like, actually eat it.
Zach Amico
I know they did that. Who the fuck did they?
James Moss
You just can't avoid doing dog stuff. Yeah, the chow bucket.
Elena Bamfield
The chow bucket.
Zach Amico
I think Jonah Hill did it to DiCaprio in Wolf of Wall street. Or it's another movie where they were eating sushi. And in the scene, Jonah Hill's supposed to eat the last piece. And in the take, he goes, no, you have it. Knowing that he would have to have. Cause it's Scorsese. That he would have to eat another 60 of that piece of sushi.
Elena Bamfield
Damn.
Zach Amico
And they said DiCaprio was just puking in between Seth. In between setups.
James Moss
That's awesome. I wonder how many goldfish he ate in that movie.
Zach Amico
He really did swallow that. Oh, no. I think that was cg, right?
James Moss
I have no idea. But the idea of doing that shot
Zach Amico
that many times, I think that might have been. He might have done it once. I know Jonah Hill got. Went to the hospital after.
James Moss
For the fish.
Zach Amico
No, because of all the vitamin B they snorted. That was the fake coke. He got, like, an infection.
Elena Bamfield
I was gonna say they probably had, like, high mercury from all the sushi, too.
Zach Amico
Yeah, Like.
Elena Bamfield
And, like, worms or something from.
Zach Amico
I know, whatever they use. I think it's vitamin B powder they use for fake coke.
James Moss
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And they had snorted so much, I think he had gotten, like, a lung infection or something.
Elena Bamfield
You can get. One time when I was a. I was a latchkey kid and my brother brought me. Remember the Flintstone vitamins? They tasted really good. He brought me one. He brought me the pack of them, and I opened them and just gave him the whole thing. And he ate all of them. And kids can die of vitamin B12 overdose.
Zach Amico
Ghost. I did not know my mother pass
Elena Bamfield
out on the floor. And I just. I don't know what I thought was happening. I thought maybe he was, like, procuring superpowers or some, but my mom had to take him to the hospital. It was really bad.
James Moss
Oh, my God. He had 40 of the dinosaurs and
Elena Bamfield
then he pissed neon green for two weeks.
James Moss
It turned green.
Zach Amico
Yeah, that's sick.
Elena Bamfield
And now he's the fastest welder on his line. So I do think I might have done something good there, but.
Zach Amico
Holy, that's sick.
Elena Bamfield
But you can die. You can die.
Zach Amico
That is a fun one. Thank you.
Elena Bamfield
Of course.
Zach Amico
Channing, just for old times sakes, show them Meat Mountain, please. So it started as Arby's had this campaign where it was like, we're gonna have all types of meat. Like, we're not roast beef anymore. It's gonna be.
Elena Bamfield
Well, we got the meats.
Zach Amico
We got chicken, we got bacon, we got pastrami. We got everything.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
So they made an ad that was all of it on one bun.
Elena Bamfield
Okay.
Zach Amico
That was not ever on the menu,
Elena Bamfield
but it was for the advertisement.
Zach Amico
But then somebody online asked for it, and it became like, a viral thing. I know. When I ordered it, the lady went back into the kitchen, and then a manager came out and went, did you see this on the Internet? I went, yep.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And then they went, we ain't got a box big enough. I went, cool.
James Moss
Just put it loose in the bag.
Zach Amico
They took two boxes and Frankensteined it for me. That's great. And then at the end, they went, can we watch you eat it it? And I said, no, I will be eating this in my underpants. There it is. Let's say it.
Elena Bamfield
Wow.
Guest
Last video, we tried the 21 hamburger.
Zach Amico
It was 11 when I got it
Guest
in the comments, asked me to try. Since we're here, let's try some other items. This is the potato cakes.
Elena Bamfield
I love potato cakes.
Shannon
Sorry, I didn't realize I was gonna do it.
James Moss
That's all right.
Elena Bamfield
That's right.
Guest
That's your crunch.
James Moss
Do not skip through the mukbang.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Guest
Way better than the McDonald's hash brown. And keep in mind, three, by the
Zach Amico
way, KFC has the potato wedges back.
Guest
Do they have the best coleslaw? Next, let's try their Mac and cheese.
Zach Amico
Okay.
Guest
It's pretty good. White cheddar cheese.
Zach Amico
I'll watch Asian guy. Watch it. Eat anything in this car.
Guest
This one costs $20, and it weighs. Yes, one pound. All right, here we go.
Zach Amico
Wow.
Guest
Looks like they added every single meat inside the restaurant into this sandwich. We're talking roasted beef, corned beef, ham, turkey, chicken tenders. So added in some bacon. So my biggest complaint is they didn't work together well. Would I choose this over to 21?
James Moss
When he bit into it, it sounded like he was falling through ice. Yes.
Zach Amico
I will say it needed sauce. Yeah, it was a lot of dry.
Elena Bamfield
That. That's it.
Zach Amico
It needed the. The Arby's or the horsey sauce. I'm a horsey sauce boy.
Elena Bamfield
I'm a horsey sauce girl, too. I don't like the Arby's or like the red sauce that they put on.
Zach Amico
Okay.
Elena Bamfield
It's fine.
Zach Amico
But I. I like horseradish a lot.
Elena Bamfield
I like hors. I feel like I don't know what the RV sauce is like, what the red sauce is, but it adds, like, a palette to the meal that I was not. I don't like ketchup. And I think that might be why I don't like the sauce. Where I'm like, this is, like, ruining the flavor palette.
Zach Amico
It's like, also, shout out, this is what a great company Arby's is. And I. I am an aficionado, but I will say this is a great company. Chris Vega, my. My best friend from High Society radio had a family member who had fallen. It was a husband of one of his family members, fell very ill, and it was terminal. And that guy's favorite thing in the world was Arby's sauce. The red sauce.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And he couldn't. He was sick and he couldn't travel. He wasn't near an Arby's, and he's like, I just want to go to Arby's.
Elena Bamfield
He was sick and he wasn't near an Arby's. He's in a really bad spot.
James Moss
How could this happen to me?
Zach Amico
He was in a place where people couldn't, like, drive and get it for him.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
Like, he was far enough away. I think he was in a hospital.
Elena Bamfield
Got it.
Zach Amico
And Chris Tolt wrote a letter to Arby's, and they sent a case of Arby's sauce to the guys. Let's go to the guy's house.
Elena Bamfield
That's awesome.
Zach Amico
And said, here, you never run out again.
Elena Bamfield
And that's. And that's why I. I am a patron of Arby's. Everyone groans in the car when you bring it up. And you're like, dude, it's good you guys don't want curly fries. And friendship. The.
Zach Amico
You know, there's something about a place that says, this is what we do.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And we don't around with other.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah, I like it.
Zach Amico
I don't know how you feel, Mr. Moss.
James Moss
The fatally ill Arby's thing is so funny.
Zach Amico
I mean, it's a real chicken and egg situation. Was he fatally ill because he loved Arby's that much?
James Moss
Being on my deathbed, being like, please just promise you'll spread my ashes at Meat Mountain is where I want to be.
Zach Amico
I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I think that's a very acceptable request.
Elena Bamfield
If you ask me, that's like, deathbed wish. I need Arby's sauce now. Pretty reasonable.
Zach Amico
Yeah, I think it's pretty great.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
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Elena Bamfield
We have a.
Zach Amico
We have a segment on this show and we've been doing it a lot lately, so I apologize, but it is really just. This is what my algorithm is now and we have a little game on the show called Indians versus Trains.
James Moss
Yes.
Elena Bamfield
Okay. I saw this on a recent episode.
James Moss
I feel like I'm going to be good at this.
Zach Amico
So far, trains are having a hell of a season.
James Moss
Yeah. Trains are set at like plus 1200, I think.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
If I'm throwing money down. Safe bet trains.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
James Moss
Yeah. Betting on Indians is like betting on the jets.
Zach Amico
Somebody online said what was. They have. It's like watching hamsters figure shit out. So what I've read more. I've gone into it. I've watched videos explaining why there's so many of these accident videos.
Elena Bamfield
Okay.
Zach Amico
And it's because there's a lack of safety regulations.
James Moss
Right.
Zach Amico
So like we technically, like a lot of the areas, they get hit by trains or like knocked over by shit or like knocked over touch electric wires and shit.
James Moss
Yeah.
Zach Amico
We would be blocked from that by modern safety stuff.
James Moss
Just an orange bar that does this slowly.
Zach Amico
Or there'd be a giant sign or there'd be a security guard or something. It would be a much less accessible area.
Elena Bamfield
I guess I'm like People aren't like, hey, we've seen people touch that and they get electrocuted. Don't touch it.
Zach Amico
Who knows?
Elena Bamfield
I don't know.
Zach Amico
But we have.
Elena Bamfield
Seems crazy.
Zach Amico
We have.
James Moss
We have to risk it. Like, they're like, yeah. You see a train and you're like, maybe Bob's and Vagene are on that train.
Zach Amico
Or like, I got this selfie. If I take a selfie.
James Moss
Yeah. Doing it, like, right by the train.
Zach Amico
As the train up behind me. I'm getting some gene. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude. I'm commenting on every fucking white girl's picture tonight. So he's got three videos today. First, Indian versus Steamroller.
Elena Bamfield
Okay.
Zach Amico
So let's see how it goes.
James Moss
The double scooter. No, it's fine. No, they're actually fine. I've. Yeah, this. They like it. It's good.
Elena Bamfield
No way.
James Moss
They're just. They're asleep. It's fine.
Elena Bamfield
God, I feel like my mom watching ridiculousness.
James Moss
There was a part of me that they would be like, cartoon flat.
Zach Amico
Oh, yeah.
Elena Bamfield
Well, that was the child. That was the kid.
Zach Amico
I think it was a lady.
James Moss
It was two people.
Elena Bamfield
Okay, I'm sorry. No one is moving fast enough.
James Moss
Yeah. This is a standard one steamroller, one moped road.
Zach Amico
Well, so here's the thing. That road is obviously being constructed.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
James Moss
That's their new road.
Zach Amico
That is. That's the road. That's the news.
James Moss
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Guys, we're getting a road.
James Moss
Yeah. This is huge.
Zach Amico
And I would say the scooter couple got a little impatient.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
They went, oh, a road. Let's try it out. So let's say. Let's see that one more time. Let's see. At what point do they know we were fucked? Steamrolling And I see what.
Elena Bamfield
Obviously, how much does a steamroller.
Zach Amico
So if you look at the dirt. Look at the dirt on the side. What happened is that's not steamrolled yet.
James Moss
Yeah.
Zach Amico
So it's gravel. He went to go around.
James Moss
You tried to turn on loose grass
Zach Amico
and had no traction.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
James Moss
Yeah. Now you have toothpaste legs.
Elena Bamfield
No, and it was that. It's that ridge right there.
Zach Amico
Oh, dude.
James Moss
Being on top of bro and getting flat at the same time sucks so bad.
Elena Bamfield
That sucks so hard.
James Moss
Oh, this is how conjoined twins get made.
Elena Bamfield
Do we know?
Zach Amico
I don't. I have a distinct feeling.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
That they're not.
Elena Bamfield
It looked way too dry for a steamroller.
James Moss
Yeah. It's an arid climate, for sure.
Elena Bamfield
I'm like, do they not have blood in their body? I. I was expecting More of like a juice pouch situation. Yeah, yeah.
James Moss
Like kick flipping onto a ketchup packet.
Zach Amico
I'd imagine it was all internal.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah. And that's a problem. You strike dirt bikes when I was younger, and that's just you're using.
Zach Amico
Or as they call them in India, bikes.
Elena Bamfield
Bike. But that's a classic case of road wheels on gravel.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Elena Bamfield
Does not have the traction it needs.
Zach Amico
All right, so now we have another one. Shannon, I got to tell you, I forgot which one. This is the Looney Tunes.
Shannon
It is Indian versus a tractor type vehicle.
Zach Amico
All right, so let's check this out.
Elena Bamfield
I feel like the Indian could have this one. That's.
James Moss
Oh, it ramped up all the way over him.
Elena Bamfield
That's crazy.
James Moss
Oh, that's great. He got air. That's.
Elena Bamfield
Oh, wait, he's kind of hurt. I was like, yo, he got right up.
Zach Amico
It is pretty crazy. He got out.
Elena Bamfield
That sucks so hard.
James Moss
Oh, seeing you clapping for him and then he starts walking like a baby deer made me very happy.
Zach Amico
Listen, I can't believe his ankles aren't shattered.
Elena Bamfield
I'm rooting for the Indians.
Zach Amico
Oh, no, his leg is hanging off. Oh, it's so his right leg. Watch that again. Watch his right leg. When he gets up, he's standing on his ankle.
Elena Bamfield
Oh, yeah. Goodbye, meniscus.
James Moss
Yeah. This is how every running back that tears their ACL goes to the sideline.
Elena Bamfield
He's just like, ah, dude, shit. This has happened to me on a quad before. Like, just foot gets stuck under the wheel, and all of a sudden you're underneath a vehicle. Scariest fucking feeling ever. I, like, don't even have anything funny to say other than I'm like, it's terrifying to be down there.
Zach Amico
High school wrestling coach rode a motorcycle, and he had a young son. And I remember when the son was very little, the son was on the back of the motorcycle, and he put his leg in between the wheel and the contraption, and his leg went all the way in it. And the only way to get him out was to back it up.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah, I had a. I had my leg. I don't know if you guys can see this. Do you see this, like, scar right here? A little bit I had was riding my dirt bike around. My dad was super cool, and he, like, didn't mow half of our yard and made it. He grew pot in our house. So he would take the, like, pots of dirt and put them into big piles for us and then take a skid steer and make them into, like, dirt bike jumps. So we had Like a motocross track in the back. And it was raining and I went to go take a turn.
Zach Amico
Yeah, I wonder what he was doing when he got that idea.
Elena Bamfield
Trimming weed and dreaming of a better life for his children. But no, the throttle, the twisty throttle got stuck in the dirt and my leg was stuck between the wheel and like, the spoiler. And the wheel just went through my jeans onto my leg and I had like a big hole.
Zach Amico
How bad was it?
Elena Bamfield
It was pretty. No, my parents didn't really do the hospital unless you were like, something was sticking out. We weren't like a doctor family, but it was mostly just a rash, like a really severe road rash. But I started exclusively riding quads after that. Like four wheelers.
Zach Amico
Yeah, yeah, that'll do it.
Elena Bamfield
It was scary as well.
Zach Amico
Tell me a little more about Europe. You seem to be a very unique upbringing.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah, I grew up in Michigan. When I was 11, my, like, the recession happened and my dad lost his job, and then he just started, like, Michigan legalized medicinal marijuana. The same, like in 2008. So my dad started doing that, and he did that for like 18 years. He just recently started working at, like, a warehouse or whatever because he's also like a huge Christian and he feels like God doesn't like the pot stuff. I grew up with a God fearing pot farmer for a dad.
Zach Amico
Okay.
Elena Bamfield
So that was interesting. But I think the law in Michigan was you could have 12 plants per patient, and you could have up to 12 patients. You could have up to 144 marijuana plants in your house. But my dad didn't do that.
James Moss
We had like 60 per patient. Was he like a patient?
Elena Bamfield
So a doctor or technically you're like a caregiver? Like when it first was legal, because it's recreationally legalized now, but when my dad was doing it, he was like a caregiver for the state. And so you are legally required to give them one to three ounces off of each plant that you're growing for them.
James Moss
Okay.
Elena Bamfield
And then everything else you can, like, sell to the dispensary or give to your cousins to sell on the street or whatever, you know? But yes, I was like a really smelly child. I smelled like weed for most of my life, which wasn't cool until high school.
Zach Amico
And did people come to you all the time? But come on, I know you're now.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah, they did. And I was like, you guys were mean to me this whole time. But whatever, we can flip it. And I was also. I was stinky. And then you Mentioned wrestling. I was on the wrestling team for one year in middle school.
Zach Amico
Oh hell yeah. Dude.
Elena Bamfield
It was like cool amongst my family but like it didn't do good things for me socially, if that makes any sense. I smelled bad and I had no boobs and I was on the wrestling team and so everyone's like, you are a smelly lesbian. And I was like, oh my God,
Zach Amico
no. As someone watching because I grew up wrestling.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Watching your friends realize they had a wrestle. A girl.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Was a day.
Elena Bamfield
It was. My brother wrestled too. And I remember he would get so pissed because I was 67 pounds in eighth grade. So I was like small. There was like maybe one or two people at every competition that I could even wrestle. So I get a medal every time.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Elena Bamfield
My brother would have to beat 16 kids just to get a medal. Oh man. So many rides home of me just being like hahaha, look at my stuff. And he's bawling in the back.
Zach Amico
Like I remember because it would always be like, you know, the first like whatever the lowest weight class was or the second lowest would be the one who wrestled a girl. And I would always say listen man, you don't got to be worried there's a tiny girl.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
If I got to wrestle a girl, get scared. And then one day a girl wrestled 170 something and was about to bump up to 189. And I wrestled 215 and I was getting nervous.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
James Moss
Getting close.
Elena Bamfield
Girls are flexible. I mean girls are good at wrestling.
Zach Amico
Well, so this girl was real. She was a Spanish.
Elena Bamfield
Broader beast.
Zach Amico
Yeah, this girl was Spanish. Her brother was the heavyweight. He fucked me up big. Spanish. And the thing with wrestling is like you weigh in but like the amount of weight that you could watch somebody put on in a morning if they haven't had any water in them.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
And I mean this kid's weighing in at like to wrestle 275. He's weighing in 274.6.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And he's got a cooler.
James Moss
Oh, he's just pounding milks of food
Zach Amico
and candy and like. Because he's gotta get his sugar back and like. And so he's What? You're not facing the 275 pound like you're.
James Moss
Yeah.
Zach Amico
You're facing a big boy.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And she was shaped like him, but I think she wrestled one whatever 172 and she wrestled my friend Jordan. And I remember he just couldn't do anything with it. She was all ass.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And that low center of gravity yeah. You're not gonna flip her.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
You're not gonna grab her leg and knock her over.
James Moss
Hips too wide.
Zach Amico
So the kid, she got. We were in a tournament, I think, freshman or sophomore year, and it was the open grand tournament. And this big hips. She had a headlock that'd fucking turn you.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
This kid did not want to wrestle her, and she fucking headlocked him. And she took those big fucking Spanish hips, checked him.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And, dude, she drove a man into the earth.
Elena Bamfield
Fuck.
Zach Amico
Yeah, there was.
Elena Bamfield
Let's go.
Zach Amico
She hit so hard the whole. Because it's a tournament. So there's like, five matches going on at once. Usually the whole place went silent.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Just the crash, and then you just hear the ref go, take and pin. And my old drunk coach goes, somebody's joined an indoor track. Oh, look at us having fun. All right, we got one or two more things before we get out of here.
Shannon
We actually do have the Indian versus trains.
Zach Amico
Oh, yes, we do. Thank you.
James Moss
That was a close one. Thank God.
Elena Bamfield
Thank God.
Zach Amico
Thank God, Shannon.
James Moss
So this is this. Yeah. Classic selfie video. He's trying to be close.
Zach Amico
No, you fool.
James Moss
Yeah. Great polo.
Zach Amico
Whoa,
Elena Bamfield
bro.
Zach Amico
You know, he's the silly Billy, too.
Elena Bamfield
I'm like, I missed it.
Zach Amico
Listen, he's the one being a silly billy.
James Moss
Yeah, he's. Yeah, he's getting a little closer. He's the Daredevil.
Elena Bamfield
Oh, my God.
James Moss
No, I. I saw an article about this. He's fine. He's totally fine. Thank you.
Elena Bamfield
Thank you.
James Moss
Yeah, the train got a concussion. The kid's just fine.
Zach Amico
Yeah, the train's in eight pieces. That's a. Yeah. That's got to be it, huh?
Elena Bamfield
Holy shit.
Zach Amico
Even if you live through that, there's no way you can get a blow to the head like that.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Dysfunction.
Elena Bamfield
No. No. You. I would hope. I would be dead after that.
James Moss
I think being a parent and seeing, like, the last video of your kid being. Him being so stupid. You've got to be so pissed.
Zach Amico
Yeah. If he's flossing on train tracks.
James Moss
We like Fortnite. We like Fortn. Yeah. It just gets cut in two.
Zach Amico
Yeah. It's crazy that you gotta. Oh, man, we fucked up, huh?
Elena Bamfield
I would try and get that scrub from the Internet. I'd be like, I can't. No one can know my kid was like this.
James Moss
Yeah. It wasn't a. He got picked up by a big bird or something. Don't worry about it.
Zach Amico
I have a feeling getting scrubbed in general in India is a bit of a difficult thing.
Intro/Outro Voice
Yeah, it's not their forte.
Zach Amico
All right. This is gonna be borderline, and I want to be apprehensive about this because I don't want to make it racial, but there's a video that went viral of a teenager in Philadelphia handing out a piece of paper to read to his classmates.
James Moss
Okay.
Zach Amico
And he's basically arguing that his high school classmates are illiterate.
Elena Bamfield
Okay.
Zach Amico
And it's like, these are not. It's a bit of a convoluted sentence.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
But word for word, you should be able to get it.
Elena Bamfield
Okay.
Zach Amico
I think if you're in high school.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And then I went into it. A lot of people in America are functionally illiterate.
Elena Bamfield
Yes, I've heard that.
Zach Amico
Way more than you think.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Like a third.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
James Moss
That's why they have pictures of the food everywhere.
Zach Amico
And it did not occur to me that you could graduate high school not being able to read me either, because
Elena Bamfield
I feel like everyone I graduated with could read.
James Moss
I'll fucking brag about it.
Zach Amico
So the headline here. I'll just read the headline. Philadelphia teen who exposed his classmates inability to read or comprehend simple sentences is now being threatened with expulsion, not graduating, and being barred from promotion.
Elena Bamfield
What?
Zach Amico
Because they said that he's basically trying to make the school look bad and his classmates look bad. Shan, do we have the original?
Shannon
Yes, I have. I have both of them.
Zach Amico
Thank you. Let's. Let's. Let's watch it, and you guys can see the sentence. Read the indiscar for me.
Elena Bamfield
She wore a suit.
Zach Amico
Clothes that were.
Elena Bamfield
No. Who's this for?
Zach Amico
Extraordinary, but somewhat. Ger. Explain what that means. I don't know. She were a sah of that were extraordinary. Whatever, bro. But somewhat. What does that mean? She wore a lot. Wait, she wore.
Elena Bamfield
Bro.
James Moss
I don't know, bro.
Zach Amico
Can you take the card back, please?
Elena Bamfield
She wore a. To wear a silhouette of.
James Moss
She got silhouette.
Elena Bamfield
That word.
Zach Amico
I don't know that word.
James Moss
I don't even know how to read.
Zach Amico
I don't know why I did. She wore a silhouette of clues that were extraordinary, but somewhat. Gosh, I will say Ghosh is not easy.
James Moss
Yeah, I think I learned G, like, two weeks ago. I still, like, wouldn't use it in a sentence.
Zach Amico
I don't know what this is.
James Moss
They are reading.
Elena Bamfield
They're struggling with war. They're saying were.
James Moss
Yeah, that is true.
Zach Amico
So that is a shitty sentence. Yeah, I will immediately say, because I don't think I could tell you what that sentence means.
Elena Bamfield
What was it? She wore a silhouette.
Zach Amico
Bring it up. She wore a silhouette. Of clothes that were extraordinary but somewhat gauche.
Elena Bamfield
Same like imagining, like she's.
Zach Amico
How do you wear a silhouette of clothing?
Elena Bamfield
I imagine it's like a. Like a sheer, see through sort of dress.
Zach Amico
It is a shitty sentence.
James Moss
It is very. It's very flawed.
Zach Amico
It's a pretentious, shitty sentence.
James Moss
Like, really, like, what he's saying is like, oh, my classmates don't understand poetry.
Elena Bamfield
It's like, I think not being able to comprehend it is more normal than not being able to just read it.
Zach Amico
I think silhouette is.
Elena Bamfield
You should be able to sound out words.
Zach Amico
Gauche is hard.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Silhouette, I think you should know by then.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And extraordinary. You should definitely know. But I have a feeling it has not popped up on any of the report cards.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
James Moss
Come on now.
Zach Amico
So now Talishan, this kid's being threatened, saying that they don't want him to graduate now, right?
Shannon
Yes.
Elena Bamfield
He's the only one that can read.
Shannon
I know. And I do have this second video
Zach Amico
if you want to see it.
Elena Bamfield
What the fuck does that say? Why am I reading this? No, I'm not reading this. This is a whole bunch of.
Zach Amico
The colonel asked in choir to accommodate the governor's schedule. Asking a choir to accommodate to the governor's schedule. Right. In your own words, there's a governor's schedule. And so the colonel is asking.
Elena Bamfield
The colonel is asking a fire to accommodate to it.
Zach Amico
In your own words. I don't know, bro.
Elena Bamfield
The colonel asked. Asked the choir to accommodate the governor's schedule.
Intro/Outro Voice
All right.
Zach Amico
What does that mean?
Elena Bamfield
Right?
Zach Amico
They ask the people to sing.
Elena Bamfield
Oh, drawn on beard on pause.
Zach Amico
Does she have, like, jaw surgery? Yeah.
James Moss
This is crazy.
Elena Bamfield
Is that a fake beard?
Zach Amico
I think that's like. Did she have her jaw wired?
Elena Bamfield
Maybe. I don't know. I've never seen. That's intentional.
Zach Amico
She also have a giant head wound.
James Moss
She's cosplaying as like four US Presidents is what that wants.
Elena Bamfield
You might be right. She actually does have something on her head. Maybe she.
Zach Amico
She's hurt and she's the one that got it.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah, this nailed it. I won't lie, Colonel.
Zach Amico
Lady got hit by a train and she still hit it.
Elena Bamfield
She got ran over by a damn steamroller and she still got it.
Zach Amico
All right, keep it moving. Hey, guys. Today's episode is brought to you by our great friends at you kratom, home of the 60 kilo. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, if you do create them. If you don't, don't start on my account. But if you use Kratom for one of its many benefits, there's only one place on earth to get it from and that's yocratum.com because they have the best strains, the best customer service and they're the marquee sponsor of everything we do here at Gas Digital. So stop going to bodega smoke shops and gas stations. Getting a little bit of kratom at a time. You don't even know what's in there because yocratum.com has you covered. There's no promo code needed. It's already the best deal in the world to kratom. $60 for a full kilo delivered right to your door. So check them out, let them know you love them, tell them we sent you. And that's our great friends@yocratum.com home of the 60 kilo. Let's get back into the program to accommodate the governor's schedule. There we go. The ex acquired a comment. I don't know. I don't know, bro.
Elena Bamfield
It means this is a painful accident
Zach Amico
to read a schedule to like.
Elena Bamfield
I mean, the colonel asked the choir to accommodate the governor's schedule.
Zach Amico
What does that mean?
Elena Bamfield
To sing with the Governor?
James Moss
Yeah, I mean, kinda fair play. I think they did better.
Zach Amico
They did way better. Without silhouette and extraordinary.
James Moss
This was, this was pitched as they cannot read, which is just not.
Zach Amico
Yeah, this is better. Yeah, this is much better. It's like Shannon, do we have any story here or. He's just saying that.
Shannon
He's just saying that.
Zach Amico
Okay, all right.
Elena Bamfield
Probably ain't even fucking true. They're probably not doing anything about it. He just needs more clout.
Zach Amico
We have one more doordash and this is very interesting to me. This is a 32 year old woman in Canada who had to plead guilty to psychological warfare.
Elena Bamfield
She pled guilty as the perpetrator.
Zach Amico
Perpetrator.
James Moss
Okay, that's not a crime. That's something like your girlfriend does to you.
Zach Amico
No, this is something your ex girlfriend does. And when I tell you. What is it? Hell. What's the term? Hell? No, no. Hell like a woman scorned.
James Moss
Right.
Elena Bamfield
Hell hath no fear.
Zach Amico
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorn. Thank you very, very much. Of course, this is a woman who I guess got broken up with and decided to send reminders to her ex, Shannon. Give us the scoop.
Shannon
Okay, so at least according to this, this article, she sent 1847 orders of exactly one lemon via DoorDash to her ex boyfriend. Apparently it seems like she, he at one point told her she like sours everything, makes everything sour and so she's trying to, like, get revenge on him, and then they. They break it down here.
Zach Amico
This is the funny part.
Shannon
1400 standard yellow lemons, 41 Meyer's lemons, 14 limes, and one single bergamot. Is that how you say it?
Elena Bamfield
I'm gonna be honest. I've never known what a bergamot is other than soap.
Shannon
Is it like a little. One of those little orange things?
Elena Bamfield
It must be like an apricot. I don't know.
James Moss
So she was doing like a food pun because they showered, but it got
Zach Amico
to the point where all the doordash people would be like, oh, is it the lemon lady?
Elena Bamfield
Yeah. Wait, I'm sorry. Is she tipping on these orders?
Zach Amico
I don't know if she is.
Elena Bamfield
I have no problem with it.
James Moss
I mean, what's 20 of a lemon?
Zach Amico
But the funny. Well, isn't there also a minimum?
Elena Bamfield
Is there a minimum? There's 100.
Zach Amico
You can't order a lemon.
Elena Bamfield
You cannot have that.
Zach Amico
I feel like most places have a 10 to 15 minimum.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah, I don't know. I. I think on a doordash, I think Gopuff is probably the only place you could order, like one thing I don't know, actually notice 20, 26. I think if you got the money, you can do whatever the you want.
Shannon
Shannon, I. So I can look it up for doordash right now. Like with Uber Eats, it's usually if you're not meeting the minimum, you just like, pay the extra.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah, but I'll double check the difference.
Zach Amico
But so the, the charge. So she was not just sending it to him. He had a girlfriend and now they're claiming that it. They have PTSD and that the girlfriend, the new girlfriend, has a fear of the color yellow.
Elena Bamfield
What a. How. What happened? Do we have any. Why is she doing like.
Zach Amico
He apparently broke up with her and said she sours every situation and that's.
Elena Bamfield
That's the only information that we have.
Zach Amico
And that she decided, oh, you don't like sour shit. Yeah, I'm going to send you 1800 fucking lemons.
Shannon
She also sent one to him during a job interview and one to the hospital while he was visiting his father.
Elena Bamfield
That's a little extreme.
Shannon
It says he blocked her on every. Every platform after lemon number 14. Hey, I don't know about. I don't know how many of these, like, little details are actually true, but I did verify it. Seems like the whole story is true. I just don't know about these little details that she used 11 burner DoorDash accounts. One driver said, like, just they would refer to him as the lemon guy.
James Moss
Hilarious.
Shannon
And, yeah. His new partner. Fear of yellow.
James Moss
I love that moment. Like, you're in a job interview, and, like, the. The lemons show up, and you try and, like, you still try and use it as if it's something that you plan. It's like, yeah, so I got lemons. Because your life has a lot of twists, you know?
Zach Amico
Yeah. You always want to be prepared.
Elena Bamfield
Have you guys had anything of this moniker happen to you? Like, what's the craziest thing an ex has done?
Zach Amico
Because I know it's destroyed all my.
Elena Bamfield
Okay, that's, like, normal crazy.
Zach Amico
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
James Moss
I mean, I think all, you know, just, like, regular girl stuff. Just like.
Zach Amico
Yeah. She had a friend put all my stuff in a box and run it over and set it on fire.
Elena Bamfield
Oh, wow.
James Moss
Whoa.
Zach Amico
Regular.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
You know, burn all my things. Yeah.
Elena Bamfield
Do you guys want to hear something crazy? I did 100%. I. Okay, so. And I can say this now because I've looked it up, Shannon. I don't know if you want to look up the laws on mailboxing and if it's when the statute of limitations ends, but I'm pretty sure we're out of it. But one time in high school, we used to wait because I'm from a small town and there's not a lot to do, so we would wait until it would rain, and then instead of, like, you know, classic mailboxing with the baseball bag. Yeah. So we would go. And you can grab the, like, post from the bottom after it rains and, like, wiggle it out of the ground, and you can, like, just take someone's whole address and just take it and put it in the back of a truck. So one time, me and my friends, we got, like, 12 mailboxes, and then we put them at the end of an ex's driveway, and we, like, made them into a wall. So his mom. This was in high school. His mom couldn't go to work the next day. And it turns out if you do stuff like that with mailboxes, males. Felony.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Elena Bamfield
I didn't know if the male was. I just thought this was so funny.
James Moss
It is funny.
Elena Bamfield
It is funny.
Zach Amico
It's not not funny.
Elena Bamfield
The Michigan State police showed up, and there was 12 mailboxes stacked at the end of the driveway, and she accused me of doing it for so many years, and I said, no, no, no, no, no. And then I finally found out the statute of limitation is over on it, and I'm. I'm like, Fuck you, lady. I did do that.
Zach Amico
That's awesome.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah, because your son sucks.
Zach Amico
Can I just. In hindsight, how much funnier it would be to just change everybody's mailboxes.
Elena Bamfield
Oh, my God.
James Moss
Oh. Just do the old rules.
Elena Bamfield
I wish I had a time machine. And you just put them in different. Oh, we didn't even think of that.
Zach Amico
Because then everyone's lives.
Elena Bamfield
I wish you were there.
Zach Amico
Would be so difficult for so many days.
Elena Bamfield
It would.
Zach Amico
To figure out who has who. Everyone would have everybody's mail. Yeah, it would be a nightmare.
Elena Bamfield
We did do a couple times. We would take someone's mailbox and put it on their front porch.
Zach Amico
Okay.
Elena Bamfield
So then when they would come out in the morning, their mailbox would be.
Zach Amico
So we would do that with lawn gnomes.
Elena Bamfield
Ooh, wait, where are you from that
Zach Amico
lawn gnomes jersey from Narnia.
Elena Bamfield
Okay.
Zach Amico
We would take a lawn gnome off one person's house and then go put it. Take another lawn gnome and we would switch them.
Elena Bamfield
Okay. And then wait to see how long.
Zach Amico
Wait for somebody to come to school and be like, do you have my lawn nut? Like, my mom's pissed.
Elena Bamfield
My mom's pissed.
Zach Amico
It's always. It was always my mom's piss. Because then they have to figure out, are they moving?
Elena Bamfield
Are.
Zach Amico
Oh, are they coming to life? Are they sentient?
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
James Moss
If these things have souls, you have to tell me.
Zach Amico
My uncle used to. I woke up to it one morning because my aunt and uncle used to live next door to me. My uncle and his friends, on Mischief Night, they called it pumpkin consumption. And they would drive through a town, get everyone's pumpkins, and pick one friend to cover their entire property.
Elena Bamfield
Damn.
James Moss
Very funny.
Zach Amico
So not only is everyone mad, their pumpkins are gone. Yeah, they know where they are.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah, they know.
Zach Amico
And they did it to my Uncle Jesus right before he got married.
Elena Bamfield
Right before he got like.
Zach Amico
I remember being a little kid and my dad being like, you gotta see these pumpkins. My dad being like, jesus, house is covered in pumpkins.
Elena Bamfield
People used to do forking in my.
Zach Amico
What's that?
Elena Bamfield
You. Where you take, like, plastic forks and you stick them in people's lawns. Sometimes you do it, like, through, like, newspaper, but it just, like, up their life because they're like, mowing over plastic forks and for weeks and weeks and weeks. And then when it rains, the. The newspaper gets all, like, papered into the grass.
Zach Amico
I did not know that one. That's brutal.
Elena Bamfield
Why we did that to each other.
Zach Amico
Evil people.
Elena Bamfield
I guess so. Their town's only like 3, 000 people.
Zach Amico
I don't know why we're all like baloney on people's cars. Oh, because it eats the paint.
Elena Bamfield
Does it like eggs do, too? Yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
No, if you, like, slice, you can make somebody's car, like a slightly polka dot.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
If they don't catch it in time
James Moss
with slices of bologna.
Zach Amico
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Oscar wire bologna. And you just poke it out the car.
James Moss
This is unbelievable.
Elena Bamfield
Baloney dots. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
We had a cut. We had piss pox, which I've talked about a million times.
Elena Bamfield
What is it?
Zach Amico
You get a tray of Dixie cups.
Elena Bamfield
Okay.
Zach Amico
And you pee just about this much in each one.
Elena Bamfield
Okay.
Zach Amico
And throw it in the freezer.
Elena Bamfield
Okay.
Zach Amico
Now you have piss pox.
James Moss
Yes.
Zach Amico
Piss pox and piss pucks are excellent because you can put them in people's mail slots in their front door at night, and then they have to go,
James Moss
how did someone piss into my mailbox in my house?
Zach Amico
Because they think you put your dick through the mail slot and took a pee. But anytime. Oh, yeah, we would make piss pucks and put them, like, through. If people had their windows down a little in their car, and people be like, how did someone piss inside my car?
Elena Bamfield
That's crazy.
Zach Amico
The piss puck was a big one.
Elena Bamfield
Piss puck is innovative, dude.
Zach Amico
You can also, if you're really evil, do piss plates.
Elena Bamfield
Piss plate.
James Moss
That's like, just a wider one.
Zach Amico
Yeah. You almost make a piss frisbee. A piss bee, if you will. And yeah, you can slide that under somebody's door. Whatever you want to do.
James Moss
Throw it to someone at the beach.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
James Moss
You'll go off. Just hit them with the piss disc.
Zach Amico
I would be lying if I said we'd never be the kid with a piss puck from a moving vehicle. And no, my favorite, for people that have been listening to the show for years. I know. I repeat myself a ton. I see that. I see that comment a lot. I do. But I like telling people my funny, stupid friend stories. So if you heard this one before, fast forward and the show's gonna be over. Did you guys. What did you talk about? Psychological warfare. Ours was. We just picked a guy, had no interaction with him ever. Didn't know him perfectly. Okay. Guy never said a mean thing. Almost a. I would call him an npc.
James Moss
Yeah. Just regular folks.
Zach Amico
Just a dude that was in our high school that none of us really knew his name. I'm gonna just use the fuck. His name was Danny Alame.
Elena Bamfield
Okay.
Zach Amico
And the reason we picked Danny Alame is because there is a giant hill in our town. And so we used to. No, there's nothing doing. The town I grew up in. So people would just drive the same circle. And there was one spot where you could stop and smoke, and then there was a parking lot everybody stopped at called the pit. Okay. But then they. They. They turned the pit into a rec center, so we didn't have the pit anymore.
Shannon
Yeah.
Zach Amico
So people. We would call it the seacock is 500.
Elena Bamfield
Okay.
Zach Amico
People would just drive in a circle all night and see who else was out.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
James Moss
Okay.
Zach Amico
When you went down that hill, at the bottom of it was Danny Alame's house. And he had all bay windows. And we realized that as you hit your brights coming down the hill.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
It illuminated his entire house. Like, blinding light.
James Moss
So you can see his whole family naked through the.
Zach Amico
So we started at the end of the night. The last thing we would do is come screaming down this hill screaming, danny Alame. And light up his whole house.
James Moss
Oh, my God.
Zach Amico
And then we told somebody about it, and they did it.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
So then one Monday, Danny Allen comes, and he knew it was us.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And he goes, guys, my dad works in the morning, and, like, he screams. He thinks, like, you're my friends.
Elena Bamfield
Oh, my God.
Zach Amico
And he keeps saying, your friends keep waking me up, and my mom's screaming at me and crying and, like, you're, like, ruining my life. And we're like, all right, we won't do it anymore. So we do it every weekend. Every weekend. Right.
James Moss
It's hard in his position. You can't, like, convince your parents, like, no, those are my enemies.
Zach Amico
Yeah. So then we got another group of people to start doing. So now there's three separate cars of people doing it. There's patrols every night. And then one night, we. We all meet up, and we're like, let's all do it in a row. Let's calculate an attack.
Elena Bamfield
Okay.
Zach Amico
First car goes. And we immediately. It was right when we first all got cell phones. Don't go, don't go, don't go. Though we would go up. The entire side of the block was cop cars.
Elena Bamfield
Oh.
Zach Amico
So we're like, we're done doing Danny Alamek, right?
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
We got together for Thanksgiving a few years ago.
Elena Bamfield
Shut up.
Zach Amico
And we're at a bar, and we're leaving with Alameh. No. No.
James Moss
Okay.
Zach Amico
So we'd never hung out with him. I don't know. I don't know the guy.
James Moss
Okay.
Zach Amico
I'm with my friends that used to do that, and I'm like, are we gonna drive by Danny Alame's house on the way back and they go, oh yeah. And just 30 something year old men hanging out the car window. Daddy, I don't know if he lives there. I don't think his parents live there. But we just woke up that house.
James Moss
That's so fun.
Elena Bamfield
That's so great.
Zach Amico
It's all I ever. I want to do it like now.
Elena Bamfield
I bet it felt so good. Did it feel good? Like nostalgic.
Zach Amico
It was so fucking fun.
James Moss
Almost like it was like nice for him to see the lights come through the window and he's like, ah, yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
Memories by Weezer starts playing Graduation by Vitamin C. All right, I think that is today's show. I want to thank our amazing guest, James Moss. Please listen to Digital Bazooka and Elena Bamfield. So fucking funny. Great first appearance. Thank you. She got a special coming out on Sam Talents YouTube. What's the name of the special?
Elena Bamfield
It's called Untouchable. It's kind of like a. It's like a 30 minute special about getting molested by Larry Nassar. If you guys remember that Olympic gymnastics doctor that was like pedophile or whatever.
James Moss
Oh, yeah.
Elena Bamfield
So it's like trigger warning.
Zach Amico
Wow. Well, holy shit.
James Moss
Sounds like a hoot.
Zach Amico
Well, way to secure another appearance on the show by holding that one close to the vest.
Elena Bamfield
I didn't know when to say it.
Zach Amico
Oh, no, I.
James Moss
Thank you.
Zach Amico
Say it. Thank you. I'm so glad I asked.
James Moss
Did I redo my plugs? I was also molested.
Elena Bamfield
Yes, we were all molested.
Zach Amico
There's a reason we're all here.
Elena Bamfield
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Thank you. You were incredible so far. Funny. And we will be back on Friday. Goodbye.
Intro/Outro Voice
Noon is morning time to him. Papa Baco. Chug it down. Just like the favorite OB clown. Grab a coffee and join the crew. It's a Miko morning too. It's a Miko work, work morning.
Guests: James Moss & Alaina Bamfield
Air Date: May 17, 2026
Network: GaS Digital
This episode of Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo delivers the trademark chaotic, off-color comedy with twisted takes on the week's weirdest news, personal stories, and wild tangents from comedians Zac Amico, James Moss (host of prank call show "Digital Bazooka"), and first-time guest comic Alaina Bamfield. The episode bounces through viral internet stories, fast-food lore, youthful pranks, and candid glimpses into the hosts’ upbringings, all wrapped in Zac’s irreverent, morning-zoo energy.
The mood is relentlessly comedic, irreverent, and off-the-cuff, with sincere moments peeking through amid pranks, scatological humor, and honest glimpses into the darker (or just dumber) corners of growing up. The trio bounce with genuine chemistry, always escalating the absurd with a willingness to mock themselves or share personal embarrassment.
This episode is a concentrated dose of the unpredictable, uncensored fun that defines Zac Amico's Morning Zoo. Expect wild stories, bizarre viral news breakdowns, and a masterclass in the art of riffing on the dumbest (and darkest) things the internet, childhood, and America can offer—all served up with camaraderie and zero filter.
Content warning: (as always for this show) – Themes of bodily humor, sexuality, trauma, drug use, and pranks described in vivid detail.