0115. Joe Gorman and Katie Hannigan

Summary

Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo – Episode 115 Summary
Guests: Joe Gorman & Katie Hannigan | Released: May 29, 2026
Theme: Morning chaos, taboo news, and off-kilter hilarity, featuring discussions on Britney Spears’ sobriety, personal assault stories, nicotine pouches, hygiene rituals, animal revenge, and more.

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Episode Overview

On this Memorial Day edition of the Morning Zoo, Zac is joined by standup comics Joe Gorman and Katie Hannigan for an unfiltered romp through scandalous celeb news, life on the road, bodily mishaps, evolving personal hygiene, animal stories, and—of course—total morning pandemonium. The crew shares intimately funny and sometimes harrowing personal stories before diving into viral news and wrestling absurdities, all wrapped in Zac’s irreverently caring tone.

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Highlights & Key Discussions

1. Britney Spears’ Recent DUI and Family Revelations

[07:07–11:16 | [39:19–47:42]

• Zac kicks off with a viewing of Britney’s sobriety test and dashcam footage.
• The comic trio analyzes her appearance and choices with a mix of sympathy and dark humor.
• Katie notes:
  "I can tell she's fucked up because of the hat... wearing a fedora and that's immediate fail." — [09:07]
• Dialogue on Britney’s erratic behavior, conservatorship, and possible need for new guardianship.
• Shocking backstory revealed: Britney tells officers her mother once killed a child while driving.
  "My mom accidentally killed the man on a bike... she got away with everything." — Britney Spears, [42:09]
• The crew verifies, via Shannon, that Britney’s mom documented hitting a 12-year-old in her memoir (not criminally charged).
• Zac:
  "Damn... we just opened up a can of worms." — [43:38]
• Discussion on sobriety tests, breathalyzer vs. blood test, and how to handle DUI stops.

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2. Personal Stories: Getting Assaulted—Men vs. Women

[13:01–18:38]

• Zac and Joe recount unwanted advances in bathrooms and on public transit, mostly with strangers of various backgrounds.
• Zac’s rest stop anecdote:
  "A gentleman came in... and the phone came flying in under the door, camera on... He crawled completely in." — [14:07–14:22]
• Katie shares a more frightening experience: "A guy was on a scooter wearing a Scream mask... grabbed my ass... I froze." — [16:59–17:36]
• Reflects on the power imbalance and trauma women experience as compared to men:
  "It is funny that it happened to us because we could punch him in the face... You; I was in genuine danger." — Zac/Katie, [18:19–18:34]

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3. France Bans Nicotine Pouches (Zyn, etc.)

[21:16–29:13]

• France now punishes possession/sale of nicotine pouches with up to five years in prison.
• The group speculates this is a pro-cigarette move.
• Zac confesses his love for pouches:
  "I got two in right now... they're mango, they have a little ball inside that you bite." — [22:25–22:38]
• Bans tied to youth use and flavored products.
• Comparisons between US/Europe on tobacco, alcohol, and artificial ingredients: "They banned all of that. So it makes sense... European candies just taste so much different." — Katie/Joe, [29:53–30:13]

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4. On Hygiene, Scents, and Cultural Norms

[31:00–36:13]

• Funny exchanges about old-school colognes, Dr. Squatch soap, and strong-smelling gifts for family.
• Katie remarks on Dr. Squatch samples:
  "I put it in a Ziploc bag, put it in a drawer, and it was like stinking up the little cupboard." — [34:40]
• Washcloths vs. bars:
  "It is a stereotype that white people only use the bar." — Katie, [35:40]
• Slides, blankets, and Zac’s gift-giving strategy: "Last year was slides. This year was... blanket hoodies." — [36:28–37:19]

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5. The Science of Drinking & Aging On the Road

[49:54–52:26]

• Zac details his evolution from blackout drinking to “get everyone home safe” mode—hydration tricks included.
• "When I go buy liquor, I buy Pedialyte, too... at least a liter or two of water and Pedialyte." — [50:38–50:54]
• Katie and Joe swap tips: coconut water, supplements, iron.
• The perils of dehydration and funny stories about co-workers who failed to hydrate.

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6. News Oddities: Joey Chestnut & Wrestlers in Trouble

[58:14–63:00]

• Hot dog king Joey Chestnut pleads guilty to bar assault—still allowed at Coney Island.
• Ludwig Kaiser (a.k.a. El Grande Americano), a German wrestler-turned-Mexican hero, punches a racist in an elevator after a remark to his Mexican girlfriend.
• Zac:
  "Sometimes, let men be men... you popped off in front of the guy's chick, you got a shot in the nose. I say give it a walk." — [61:03–62:03]
• The trio assesses American masculinity and “heroic” bar fights.

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7. Animals Strike Back: Elephants & Circus Woes

[63:38–69:10]

• Zac’s favorite segment—animals getting revenge on abusive humans.
• They watch an Indian elephant take out its handler after being poked:
  "You poked it with a stick… and now it is putting its full weight on his spine." — [64:41–64:50]
• Katie notes the torment faced by captive animals and recounts a horrifying Russian circus experience.
• They commiserate about animal exploitation world-wide:
  "Have some boundaries and respect." — Katie, [65:14]
• Discussion transitions into chimpanzee and Bigfoot theories, with Zac offering a mini-conspiracy lecture.

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8. Animal Strength & Human Overconfidence

[70:13–72:55]

• Zac debunks the idea humans could win at tug-of-war vs. even mid-sized zoo animals.
• Tales of Lewis J. Gomez’s absurd animal fighting claims: "He argued he could choke out a moose MMA style." — [71:55–71:58]
• The trio riffs on pandas, koalas, and the dangers of underestimating wildlife.

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Noteworthy Quotes & Moments

• Zac Amico on tour bus etiquette:
  "No duties on the bus. You’re not allowed to. Especially if it’s not your bus." — [12:19]

• Joe Gorman, wrestling trauma:
  "All the wrestlers would always have their cup. The Gatorade bottle... and then when I switched to something where I didn’t have to spit, that was ideal." — [27:47–28:07]

• Katie Hannigan, on being assaulted:
  "I froze. And I turned around, he was hobbling away. I assume because he was hard; it probably did it for him." — [17:36]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment/Discussion | Time Range | |---------------------------------------------------|----------------------| | Britney Spears DUI & family secret | 07:07–11:16, 39:19–47:42 | | Assault stories (men vs. women) | 13:01–18:38 | | France bans nicotine pouches/Zyn discussion | 21:16–29:13 | | Personal hygiene & scent culture | 31:00–36:13 | | Hydration, aging, and the science of hangovers | 49:54–52:26 | | Joey Chestnut & wrestling news | 58:14–63:00 | | Animal revenge (elephants, circuses) | 63:38–69:10 | | Animal strength vs. humans | 70:13–72:55 |

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Episode Tone

Brash, irreverent, compassionate, rough-and-tumble—equal parts crass morning radio and self-aware therapy session. Zac and company always land on the side of empathy, rooting for wayward animals, exploited celebrities, good hygiene, and, occasionally, responsible masculinity.

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Closing Guest Plugs

• Katie Hannigan:
  “This Friday, May 29th, 9:30pm, Bell House Brooklyn. Taping my new special. Please come out—find tickets via @katiehanniganforever.” — [73:54]

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Final Thought:
This episode overflows with wild stories, earnest camaraderie, and a refreshingly honest look at bodily functions, vulnerability, and the oddities of modern life—just what the Morning Zoo promises.

Transcript

[Katie Hannigan]

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[Joe Gorman]

Fill ER up.

[Zach Amico]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network. Wake up, it's time to go. Zach Amico's gotta show. Animals are here to play Jokes are guests to start your day Tell the

[Joe Gorman]

sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs

[Zach Amico]

and cook some beef Laughter's waiting don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky Grab a coffee and join the crew It's a miko Whoa, whoa. Morning, welcome. Well, hello, hello, hello. It's a fine and dandy Monday morning, Memorial Day here in New York City. We're coming to you live from the Gas Digital Studios. It's me, your other boy, the international superstar Zack Amico. And I'm just beaming. I got to shoot my first half an hour special this weekend, and I want to sincerely thank every single one of you that came out. I think it was the best show of my life and I am humbled and happy. And thank you to Gas Digital for putting it together. Louis and Rebecca and Ralph, and I just. I'm beside myself. I am joined by two wonderful guests today, one regular of the show, one we haven't had in quite a while, and I'm very glad to have her. From super Sally, Joe, stalwart of the program, one of my besties, Joe Gordon. How you doing, Doug?

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, I'm fantastic, Zach. Thank you so much for having me, my man.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you for being here. And next to him, it's our friend, Katie Hannigan. How you doing?

[Katie Hannigan]

Hello, hello. I'm Doing great.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you for being here. Thank you for your time. Let's knock plugs out of the way. Katie, you have something very important coming up. Let's hear all about it.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yes, I am taping a Special this Friday, May 29th at the Bell House in Brooklyn. 9:30. Please get your tickets right now if you're hearing this, because we're close to sold out. That's why I came on. I want to get the last of the tickets. I am a phenomenal artist. You know this.

[Zach Amico]

I know I'm very well aware.

[Katie Hannigan]

Gonna be putting my best foot forward. I have a lot of jokes and I hope it goes well. That's all I have to say. Please help.

[Zach Amico]

I think it's gonna go phenomenal. What's your social? So people can check it out.

[Katie Hannigan]

Atie Hannigan forever. And you can get the tickets at. You can just go to labellehouse.com fantastic.

[Zach Amico]

Mr. Gorman.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, my gosh. Well, as always, you can follow me online at Joe W. Gorman on all platforms and listen to my podcast. It's called Super Celly Joes. I do it with my buddy Alex Tomaselli, recorded in my living room. So check it out. Support us and we'll see what happens.

[Zach Amico]

Fantastic will happen. Instagram, zachisnotfunny Punchup Live. Zachamico for all my dates. I am going on tour with my brother, Crack Amico. We will be out on June 4th. Fourth, if you want to bring that up in Michigan City. Then June 5th in South Bend, Indiana, June 6th in Kalamazoo, and June 7th in Detroit if that goes well. I think we're going to be announcing a lot more, so come out if you can. And if you enjoy this program, go to gas digital.com use that promo code, ZOO Z O O. You get your episodes early ad free and uncensored. You get access to the live chat as well as the archives. Thousands of episodes of your favorite guest shows over the last decade. And you get our Friday bonus episode. We do three of these a week. If you want all three, you got to subscribe. And thank you so much for tuning in. You know the weird thing, I don't know if you guys get this when you announce dates, I get so frustrated because people ask me, when are you coming here? When are you coming here? Yeah, I announce this tour. I honest to God got a guy that said, hey, so excited you're gonna be at South Bend. I'm busy that night. When's the next time you'll be here?

[Katie Hannigan]

It's tough. It's tough. These People don't understand that you're a star and you can't.

[Zach Amico]

It's not that I'm a star. It's that I'm not coming back to South Bend soon.

[Joe Gorman]

It's like, how big is your following in South Bend?

[Katie Hannigan]

It's a small town. Are you gonna see Mayor Pete? Mayor Pete? He could come to the show.

[Zach Amico]

I wouldn't be opposed. Maybe he's a crack Amico fan.

[Joe Gorman]

Hey, open invite.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

You head banging to all of the buckets.

[Katie Hannigan]

You know, some poppers at least.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. There we go. I'm a big fan.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Hell yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Love a little. Love a little. Emil nitrate.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Used to be. Used to be a drug of choice. Yes. When I was a. A gothic in the night, party boy always had. Always had poppers on me.

[Katie Hannigan]

Nice.

[Joe Gorman]

Hell yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Used to go to. Used to go to. It was Stimulate, the Bat Cave. And then right across the street was a place called Pyramid. And those were the spots.

[Katie Hannigan]

The popper spots.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Yeah. Just go dancing, having a little fun.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. We also used to do poppers on roller coasters.

[Joe Gorman]

Whoa. That is a choice.

[Zach Amico]

That's a great choice.

[Katie Hannigan]

Did you ever shake your pants?

[Zach Amico]

Never once.

[Joe Gorman]

Ooh.

[Katie Hannigan]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

They loosen you up, but not like that.

[Katie Hannigan]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

I would compare it to. It's not all asshole.

[Katie Hannigan]

Okay? It's just kind of a loosey goosey.

[Zach Amico]

So what? Poppers are for the show. They're amyl nitrates, not anal. Emyl A m Y L. The same family as nitrous laughing gas.

[Katie Hannigan]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

And so it's a non narcotic high. So it sends. It opens up the capillaries in your veins and sends the extra oxygen to your head.

[Katie Hannigan]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

So that's why you feel silly. And then it acts as a natural muscle relaxant, hence the use in gay sex.

[Katie Hannigan]

Okay, very nice.

[Zach Amico]

I think the first comic I heard talk about it was Kinison.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, okay.

[Katie Hannigan]

You did it all.

[Zach Amico]

You used to keep a bottle by the bed.

[Joe Gorman]

I put it in my ass.

[Zach Amico]

No, he would do. He would slow down. He would slow down. He would go. You take a. You take a whiff of the nerve wreeling. Slows down. All right, we got a bunch of fun shit to look at today, but let's start. We have been keeping abreast of Ms. Britney Spears, and we have not. We. Let's start off with this. We've got her sobriety test from when she just got in a bit of trouble.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

She doesn't appear well. Uh.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, well, what else is new?

[Zach Amico]

I'm. I'M going to take a wild statement here. I think that conservatory is. Or conservatorship might have been a good idea.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, we might need to. Yeah, we might need to re. Enslave Britney. We were wrong to that whole free

[Katie Hannigan]

Britney not be free.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Katie Hannigan]

Or at least she shouldn't have access to Tick Tock. Oh no, she should not because those are jarring.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And like, maybe not who had her, but maybe somebody responsible, somebody that cares

[Joe Gorman]

about her should be in charge.

[Katie Hannigan]

A different celebrity who's doing a little better.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, like somebody that's already financially secure and doesn't need to leech off her wealth.

[Katie Hannigan]

Like Demi Moore.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. A matriarch.

[Joe Gorman]

Christina Aguilera now. Yeah, yeah.

[Katie Hannigan]

Katy Perry. Have you heard about this?

[Joe Gorman]

She's married to Justin Trudeau.

[Katie Hannigan]

True daddy.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, that would be a good one then. Yeah, that would be a very nice.

[Katie Hannigan]

Get Brittany up there to space.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, perfect. Well, let's. Let's take a look at Britney's sobriety test.

[Joe Gorman]

Straight A's. Oh, it's like. Oh, shit.

[Zach Amico]

Do you have Sam?

[Joe Gorman]

She starts.

[Zach Amico]

She starts.

[Katie Hannigan]

I can tell she's fucked up because of the hat. She's wearing a fedora and that's immediate fail.

[Joe Gorman]

Why was she. It's like, how, how, how do people have all of this money and they just don't get an Uber?

[Katie Hannigan]

Because driving drunk is fun.

[Joe Gorman]

I mean.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. You feel invincible.

[Joe Gorman]

I guess so.

[Zach Amico]

Is there sound on this?

[Shannon]

I don't. I don't think so.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, I thought that was Britney's voice. I was like, wow.

[Shannon]

Let me refresh real quick. I don't think there is there.

[Zach Amico]

No, no. Okay.

[Joe Gorman]

It's probably like dash cam footage. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

She keeps putting her hands on him, which is not a good call. Oh, when the cop shining on you, don't put your hand on him.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Katie Hannigan]

I like her outfit though. She's got a maxi skirt. Aside from the fedora, she's really looking updated, man.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, you don't want to go out drunk dressed like Darkwing Duck.

[Joe Gorman]

No, her and Justin Timberlake, she just get back together because they both love drunk driving.

[Zach Amico]

They get back together and get a driver.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, they were meant for each other. I mean like Brittany's whole life has been downhill since she kissed Madonna. The kiss of death.

[Katie Hannigan]

When was that?

[Joe Gorman]

That was like 1999 or VMAs.

[Katie Hannigan]

That was her.

[Zach Amico]

I want to say that's VMAs 2000.

[Joe Gorman]

Something like that.

[Zach Amico]

That was.

[Katie Hannigan]

That was just right after One more time. That was her early days.

[Joe Gorman]

16 year old Joe Gorman bricked up as seeing that.

[Katie Hannigan]

I think she. She started going downhill. I mean, the head shaving, that was.

[Joe Gorman]

She had postpartum everything with Kevin Federline.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah. Kevin was not a good influence on her. And it's like, once you have a baby, your hormones, you need professional help.

[Joe Gorman]

That was her second marriage, too, because, like.

[Katie Hannigan]

And her second baby.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, because she got married to that one she did, like, a shotgun wedding to. It was Jason Alexander was his name. We were like, oh, the Seinfeld guy was like some other dude. It was like her high school sweetheart.

[Katie Hannigan]

Wow. That would be actually good for her if she married him. I think that would be romantic.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. But it was beauty and the beast, whirlwind marriage. Yeah. And then she married some other guy. I think they're already divorced again now, I believe.

[Zach Amico]

Well, she. You knew she was in bad shape when they had the footage of her going into the gas station bathroom barefoot. Yeah.

[Katie Hannigan]

Well, who among us hasn't? You know, you lose a flip flop in the car and you need to take a piss, you need to get some. What are those, cronuts? No, Corn nuts. Corn nuts for your ride.

[Zach Amico]

I have recently, within the last year, broken down the door of the women's room in a gas station because I had a ghost.

[Katie Hannigan]

So equal rights. Because you said I should be allowed

[Zach Amico]

in here because the men's room was blockaded off, and I had been on a tour bus, and it was a do or die situation.

[Katie Hannigan]

And was there a lady in there?

[Zach Amico]

I banged and said, please, if there's any ladies in here, I'll stay. I was like. And then I yelled before I put my head in, I went, guy, I really used the bathroom. There was nobody in there.

[Katie Hannigan]

I approve of that. I approve of that. You got consent?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. There was no one in there.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But then I really did some damage, so I felt bad for the ladies. Answers.

[Katie Hannigan]

Pee pee or poo poo.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, a bad poo poo.

[Katie Hannigan]

Okay. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So the thing about tour bus life. No duties.

[Katie Hannigan]

You can. You can.

[Zach Amico]

You can't duty on the bus. You're not allowed to. Especially if it's not your bus. If you are a hanger on opener, as I was. No duties on the bus.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And sometimes you're on the road. I don't know about you guys. When I wake up in the morning is usually my bad one.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, that's good. You're regular.

[Joe Gorman]

That's important.

[Zach Amico]

If I get up, that's where I go.

[Katie Hannigan]

Mm.

[Zach Amico]

And I was on the bus. I woke up, we were luckily, already parked in a truck stop, but I had to walk all the way around to get to the open gas station. And then it was police taped off.

[Joe Gorman]

There was a crime in the men's room.

[Zach Amico]

The men's room.

[Katie Hannigan]

I maybe crime in the men's room.

[Joe Gorman]

Another murder.

[Katie Hannigan]

I mean, at a truck stop.

[Zach Amico]

Could happen. I have been cruised.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah, well, of course. I mean, people think that that's like. I mean, I read all the articles about human trafficking. The truck stops. It's where it's happening.

[Zach Amico]

I got cruised at a Wawa.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, God, that's so Philly. It's such awesome.

[Zach Amico]

I was in. I was in the men's room, and it had a large gap at the bottom of the door to the floor. So I would say shin down, you could see.

[Katie Hannigan]

Wow, that is a healthy gap.

[Joe Gorman]

That's a lot. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And a gentleman came in while I was mid my business, talking on the phone, loudly, in. I believe it was Arabic or Urdu.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, I thought you were gonna say Delco.

[Zach Amico]

No, no, very.

[Katie Hannigan]

See the eagles.

[Zach Amico]

Very durka, durka, durka.

[Joe Gorman]

Uh oh.

[Zach Amico]

And then I heard a very performative and loud oops. And the phone came flying in under the door, camera on.

[Katie Hannigan]

Wow. For his safety.

[Zach Amico]

Hit me in the boot. And I went, it's cool, dude. I'll kick it back to you. And as I got that sentence out, he appeared under the partition.

[Joe Gorman]

Whoa.

[Zach Amico]

Crawled completely in.

[Joe Gorman]

Yikes. That's fucking scary.

[Zach Amico]

To which I panicked.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And started kicking. And I went, take your phone. And I kicked his phone at him. And he went, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And then I wrapped up under duress, walked out, and he was waiting for me.

[Katie Hannigan]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

And he was my friend. I'm very sad. Just, you know, I dropped my phone. I was like, not. And he goes, no, it's not. You know, just everything. Like, I think he's making sure. I was gonna call the cops.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah. Or tell. Tell them back in Iran.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Let him know that they're gonna cut off his lions. That's against.

[Katie Hannigan]

That's why you go in the women's room now. For your own safety.

[Zach Amico]

I think it's the move.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Have you ever been assaulted?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, one time. And it was like an old gay guy on a. I was on a train.

[Katie Hannigan]

I was, do look fabulous. You've got lovely hair and you've got a lovely mustache.

[Joe Gorman]

Thank you so much. I didn't even have the mustache at the time. I was a younger. I was like 23. And this old guy, like, he was just talking to me. He's like, oh, what are you doing on the train? And I'm like, oh, I'm going on a trip with my family. My whole family was there.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, that turns him on.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yeah. And he was like. He was like, oh, cool. You want to. You want to. You want me to suck your dick in the bathroom? And I'm like, what? No. And I was, like, upset. And then my stepdad, like, I told him, and he went up the guy, and he was like, if you ever come near my boy again, I will fuck you up.

[Katie Hannigan]

Why didn't you say yes?

[Joe Gorman]

Because I don't want to get. I don't want to have. I don't want to have gay sex. I don't want to go to hell.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah, like it.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, dude. God will be upset. Also, it's like, if I. If it also, it wasn't like, a hot dude. It was like this old crusty guy, you know? Never if, like, 1990s Leonardo DiCaprio.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, my God, the Titanic's going down Now Gilbert Grape. I want Gilbert. I milked it. Something came out. I. I have been groped on the subway. Old Asian businessman.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yeah.

[Katie Hannigan]

You are pulling a diverse crowd, I must say.

[Zach Amico]

Big goose. And we're just behind. Grabbed. Yeah, I would say cheek to balls from behind.

[Katie Hannigan]

He had a hefty grip.

[Zach Amico]

Got got. I would say got a. Got a. Almost a bowling ball.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, damn. Yeah. Like, the two in the pink and

[Zach Amico]

one in the stage got a real good handful. I turned around, as cliche as it sounds, was in shock. Did not know how to explain.

[Katie Hannigan]

That's what happens. That's what happens. You go, it's a fight or flight or freeze. It's happened to me. And I went into freeze, actually.

[Joe Gorman]

It's like you can't process it.

[Zach Amico]

He just looked at me and he went, whoa. And got off the train.

[Katie Hannigan]

I had a guy one time, I was coming home late, and it was actually Memorial Day. This was like, three years ago.

[Zach Amico]

Happy anniversary.

[Katie Hannigan]

Thank you. Well, I stayed out late because, you know, on, like, the Sunday night, you're like, well, it's still like a Saturday. But then, like, I stupidly was walking home because I love walking. And then you're out and you're like, it's like a Tuesday. That a guy was on a scooter wearing a scream mask, which I know you love, passing me with the scream mask. And then I thought he was gone. And I heard something, like, came up behind me and grabbed my ass with both of his hands. And I froze. Froze. And I turned around, he was hobbling away. I assume because he was hard, it probably did it for him.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Katie Hannigan]

But it was terrifying.

[Joe Gorman]

Sucks.

[Katie Hannigan]

I mean, a scream mask.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, that's. That's awful.

[Zach Amico]

Talk about hiding in plain sight.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah. Well, he also had the cloak.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, no.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah, he was a full scream costume and. But, you know, actually pretty smart.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. I mean, if you're going to. Do you wear a Jason masking, like, before you grab their ass or something, watching behind the bushes.

[Katie Hannigan]

But that's the thing now, though. Like, people will run up on you on the. The E bike and they'll assault you and then just zip up.

[Joe Gorman]

That's unfortunate. That's really. It's really unfortunate to be a woman.

[Katie Hannigan]

Your guys's stories were fun, and then mine were, like,

[Zach Amico]

a hundred percent different. Yes, it is funny that it happened to us because we could punch him in the face.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Or, you know, yelling at it is funny.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You.

[Katie Hannigan]

I was in genuine danger.

[Zach Amico]

There's a power balance that should be recognized there. It's funny when it happens also.

[Joe Gorman]

Like, there's like, almost like, when a guy assaults another guy. Like, hey, what the fuck? The guy's like, oh, shit. Fucking. Like, kind of like regress. But, like, when a woman is like. The guy's like, whatever. Fucking. I'm a fucking dude.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And also, we weren't damaged emotionally.

[Katie Hannigan]

I was. I was traumatized from.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, I'm sure.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. We weren't afraid to go out.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

It just, like, goes on. It's like, oh, that was, like, a weird thing. But it's probably not going to happen.

[Katie Hannigan]

I still walk home all the time. I don't know. I just go out in the city late at night. I don't care.

[Joe Gorman]

Well, you just assume that, you know, people wouldn't do stuff like that.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah, but I just love moving my legs around.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. It's like everyone has a right to be able to walk home without.

[Katie Hannigan]

I love this really turned into a feminist podcast.

[Zach Amico]

We are surprisingly progressive here.

[Katie Hannigan]

I believe it. No, I know you guys are.

[Joe Gorman]

I probably have a trans kid who knows?

[Zach Amico]

I mean, I was. I wouldn't talk to her.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, it's like, I don't know.

[Zach Amico]

Probably made one.

[Joe Gorman]

They're probably running around doing their thing.

[Zach Amico]

All right, well, second update here on Brittany, apparently.

[Shannon]

Sorry, Zach, real quick before we get to that one, I just found another dash cam footage that was just released.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, beautiful.

[Shannon]

This is before they take her out of the car before the sobriety test. If you want to take a peek at the break. No, there has to be something wrong with the sound.

[Zach Amico]

So, Shannon, I'm going to just take it. That YouTube, we're having trouble with the getting anything to play sound.

[Shannon]

Yeah, Jorge is under the desk troubleshooting at this moment. I apologize.

[Joe Gorman]

That's all good.

[Katie Hannigan]

Get down there, Jorge.

[Joe Gorman]

It's more of a visual thing.

[Zach Amico]

Hey, guys. Today's episode is brought to you by our great [e-mail] home of the $60 kilo. That's right. Stop going to smoke shops, bodegas, or gas stations and getting a little bit of kratom at a time. And you don't even know what's in there. When you go to yo kratom.com today. They have the best streams, the best customer service, and they're the marquee sponsor of everything we do here at Gas. If you don't use Kratom, don't start on my account. But if you use Kratom for one of its many, many benefits, there's only one place in the world and there's no promo code needed. Why, it's already the best deal in the world. To kratom. 60 bucks for a whole kilo delivered right to your gosh darn door. So check them out today, guys. Yo kratom.com home of the $60 kilo. All right, let's get back into the program. Well, while we're waiting for that, can we do the other what she told the cops?

[Shannon]

Yeah, like I can tell you because that one also is like an audio clip of her saying it, but I can.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, then we'll wait. Okay, well, wait. Well, let's move. We'll come back to that. But we can talk about this in the meantime. Something near and dear to my heart. I think it might be time for a certain country to call revolution again. Oh, I think we might need to start cutting some heads off.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

France bans zins.

[Katie Hannigan]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

And all other nicotine pouches. With violators facing five years in prison and this shocking find. Shannon, I.

[Joe Gorman]

You know what? That's cool because, like, I hope France brings back smoking a cigarette on those long filters like Cruella de Vil.

[Katie Hannigan]

That's why they banned it, because they love cigs.

[Zach Amico]

That's all I can think of. My first stereotype of Frenchman would be

[Katie Hannigan]

a mime with a chip smoking habit.

[Zach Amico]

A stinky mime of smoking.

[Joe Gorman]

A beret.

[Katie Hannigan]

A striped shirt, full white face.

[Joe Gorman]

A long twirly mustache.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah.

[Katie Hannigan]

Baguette.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Running from a Nazi.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Surrender With a white.

[Zach Amico]

A white flag in one hand and a cigarette in the other. So I would assume that this is a pro smoking thing.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Because it can't be that it's so bad for you that it's worse than smoking.

[Katie Hannigan]

Right. Are you guys Zen users?

[Zach Amico]

I got two in right now.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, what flavor?

[Zach Amico]

They are not zins. They are breakers. So they are mango, and they have a little ball inside that you bite. It's like a flavor pouch.

[Katie Hannigan]

Wow, they're really getting high tech.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, they're pretty goddamn good. It sucks to go to states where you're not allowed to have the flavored ones.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh.

[Zach Amico]

Cause then you have to go back to the regular tobacco.

[Joe Gorman]

You have to raw dog it.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, they banned it? For what? Like, it causes cancer?

[Zach Amico]

No, that they don't want kids to get the flavors.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh. Cause it's like candy.

[Zach Amico]

I usually go spearmint.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah, that's nice.

[Zach Amico]

I like a minty. Cause then it's like a mint and.

[Joe Gorman]

But now, like, that's why kids are, like, always, like, vaping and stuff, because it has, like, all the flavors.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

And, like, they don't. They don't understand, like, you should smoke a cigarette and look cool.

[Katie Hannigan]

Of course. I actually like a vape now. I don't do it regularly, but I used to smoke, like, years ago, you know, just to be cool. But like a vape, I. I'm like, oh, a little strawberry, like, get me on my way. I love it.

[Joe Gorman]

I vape. I vape weed. But that's just, like, in the house, to have it, you know, not be, like, not to not.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

And like, you also don't want to. Like, the neighbors don't complain.

[Katie Hannigan]

And inside, it's gross.

[Joe Gorman]

It's, like, too much. But, like, if I'm out and about. Pack that bowl, baby.

[Zach Amico]

I was very good about it until other people on my floor were very obviously also smoking. And then I gave up, and now we just. Now we. Sometimes I light incense.

[Joe Gorman]

That's funny. My landlord just, like, will, like, smoke a cigar out on the porch, and it's like, what am I worried about? You know, like this guy that's like a super.

[Katie Hannigan]

You live Astoria?

[Joe Gorman]

No, I live in Williamsburg. Oh, right, right. Please don't show up to my house and kill me.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Just got to be safe.

[Zach Amico]

I do. I just smoke bowls in the house at this point.

[Katie Hannigan]

When I used to smoke weed, I always vaped because it's like, the flavor is better. I felt like the high is better. Like, when you really burn it, like,

[Joe Gorman]

you're Just, I think, like a vape, you. It's a little. You can control it a little bit more.

[Katie Hannigan]

Maybe. That's right.

[Joe Gorman]

Because, like, sometimes, like, if you just take, like, a bowl to the head, you're, like, high, but, like, a vape is like, okay, cool. I can still, like, do a little my job. And.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah. And also when you. When you're actually burning the bowl, it's. It's terrible for your throat. And if you talk for your job, like, the best thing, I think, as a vapor, do, like, a bubbler for your voice.

[Joe Gorman]

A bong filled with ice cubes is a.

[Katie Hannigan]

Is the medicinal.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, I like that.

[Zach Amico]

What was our. Shannon, what was the name of our. Was the froze bowl the freeze pipe?

[Shannon]

I think so.

[Zach Amico]

So I have. It was a sponsor here. I have one. It's. I believe it's the freeze pipe. You put it in the freezer.

[Katie Hannigan]

Ah.

[Zach Amico]

And it's got a coil of a chemical that just. It doesn't completely freeze, but it gets right to, like, 32 degrees.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

And when you smoke it, the smoke goes through that coil and comes out ice cold. Whoa.

[Joe Gorman]

That's awesome.

[Katie Hannigan]

I did a homemade version of that one time at a comedy club where the. The owner just took everyone in the back and was like, this is his thing. He does, like, he keeps a bong in the freezer. I don't remember what it was. And it was cool.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, I remember.

[Zach Amico]

Very good. However, you can't keep it in the freezer for more than an hour or two or the glass will crack.

[Katie Hannigan]

That's what I was thinking.

[Zach Amico]

Which, as a stoner, is an issue.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Because sometimes you go, I want to smoke this in an hour.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then you're about your day, and you're like, oh, I've put it in the freezer all day. Yeah. And now I have to hope I did not crack it.

[Katie Hannigan]

I just smoked glass.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

No, no. It was just the bowl. Would I have had times where I have straight up smoked a bowl? Somebody dropped, and it's jagged on the end that we try to figure out. Yeah. You try to, like, smoke it sideways.

[Joe Gorman]

Right. That's how, you know.

[Katie Hannigan]

Well, I saw there was a girl that. She had the glass straw, you know, and she, like, drinking our smoothie. Whatever. She feels something go down. I was like, the straw broke, and she just sucked.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, my God. That's like a final destination type death.

[Katie Hannigan]

And you have to go to the hospital and, like, poop it out supervised. They don't.

[Zach Amico]

You can't around with that damn poop Supervised pooping. Sounds horrible. I had to get poopervised. Shannon, tell us why France has banned Zins.

[Shannon]

So it looks like it's primarily for public health reasons. They're concerned about youth, nicotine addiction and the rapid rise in flavored oral nicotine products.

[Zach Amico]

So, yeah, stay out of my body government.

[Joe Gorman]

I mean, it's like, yeah, kids are gonna do it if they want to do it, you know?

[Zach Amico]

But also, like, everyone in Sweden uses the snus. I think it's something like 70% of people use it. And they don't have a high mouth cancer rate.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah. Cause they probably don't put any additives in it, I would imagine.

[Zach Amico]

So I've gotten it sent from Sweden.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

It's pasteurized.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, wow.

[Zach Amico]

Because over there, it's like an FDA rule that tobacco has to go through pasteurization, and that actually kills a lot of the shit. The fuck? That is bad for you. Really?

[Joe Gorman]

That's crazy.

[Katie Hannigan]

It's also just grass. It's just a plain.

[Unknown/Producer]

It's strong.

[Katie Hannigan]

Is it? Wow.

[Zach Amico]

Somebody sent me one. And I'm used to, like. I've been dipping since. On and off since high school because I was on the wrestling team.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yeah. That's. All the wrestlers would dip.

[Zach Amico]

Well, because we had a spit.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

To make weight.

[Katie Hannigan]

Right, right.

[Joe Gorman]

And it would, like. It would like, curb appetite and shit.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, exactly.

[Joe Gorman]

All the fudgeing. All the wrestlers would always have, like, their cups.

[Zach Amico]

The Gatorade.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

The Gatorade bottle. Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, man, that's.

[Zach Amico]

And then when I switch something where I didn't have to spit, that was ideal because I never liked the spitting part.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then somebody sent me Swedish news in the mail, and it was so fucking strong. Wow. It was like the first time you try nicotine as a kid, and it's like, what is it, the sandlot where they help you?

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, it's a lot. But, like, you also get like, that, Nick. The first time, like, you. I remember, like, the first time I smoked. Yeah.

[Katie Hannigan]

It's like, yeah, totally.

[Joe Gorman]

I've never felt, like, a euphoria like this. Like, I feel like the right strong you. You chase that perpetual. And eventually just. Just like, what am I doing? Like, you don't feel the buzz and you're coughing and it's like. But still, it's that if I. If every time I smoked a cigarette, I would get, like, that nicotine high buzz.

[Katie Hannigan]

I get that now, if I ever smoke. But then it's like, I immediately, like, two puffs later, I'm sick.

[Joe Gorman]

I'M like, oh, great, I got cancer. I always think I'm going to.

[Katie Hannigan]

I get a horrible stomach cramp and then I have to shit immediately.

[Zach Amico]

Or the next morning if you're had a few beverages. Yeah, yeah, I can handle two cigarettes. I'm an adult. And the next day you wake up, hangover.

[Katie Hannigan]

So worse. So worse.

[Zach Amico]

Feeling like dick. All right, well, you know what, France, I say get out of my body.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Katie Hannigan]

I say put it. Put some nicotine in a baguette. Okay.

[Zach Amico]

Let's make it more acting like a bunch of baguettes.

[Katie Hannigan]

If you.

[Zach Amico]

I get it. I guess if kids.

[Joe Gorman]

But like, everyone. It's like everyone uses, like, children to justify any kind of regulation. Like, oh, we can't have like, titties on late night cable because what if children see it? Or, you know, vulgarity.

[Zach Amico]

That's the opposite in Europe, though.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. And then like. And so. But. And it's funny because, like, we don't have as much regulation on tobacco products here.

[Zach Amico]

But they also. Aren't they drinking at 12?

[Joe Gorman]

I think it's like, they.

[Unknown/Producer]

Do.

[Katie Hannigan]

They have wine. I think it's like, as long as it tastes bad, they're fine with it. Yeah. I don't.

[Joe Gorman]

I don't think there's like an age. But it's sort of just like an understanding of like. Yeah, you can give them like a glass of wine here and there and.

[Katie Hannigan]

Totally. No, no. And. But also they banned all of that. Like, they can't have like the red four, all that stuff that's delicious. That we like. They banned all of that. So it makes sense.

[Joe Gorman]

Like, European candies just taste so much different because they don't have as many artificial.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Katie Hannigan]

Like, they don't have that, like, nasty stuff with the chocolate. But, like, they're fine with you smoking. You just have to smoke a cigarette at 12.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Which is honestly what you should be doing anyway, because then. Yeah, it's also easier for your parents. But hey, you smell like a cigarette, you know, like, oh, did you have like a mango smoothie?

[Katie Hannigan]

I know. Well, it's easy to be like, you smell like cotton candy.

[Zach Amico]

What the.

[Joe Gorman]

My son's cool.

[Katie Hannigan]

Great.

[Joe Gorman]

Now I gotta deal with a cool kid.

[Katie Hannigan]

My son has a cotton candy problem.

[Zach Amico]

I got accused of smoking throughout high school by both my parents, and I never smoked.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Katie Hannigan]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

But I hung out with people you hung out with.

[Joe Gorman]

Like, all the.

[Katie Hannigan]

Smell it.

[Zach Amico]

And I would always get. Always get accused of smoking.

[Katie Hannigan]

My parents smoked. I would sneak a little cigarette from my mom. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

My little. My wife's Sister, her mom used to spot. Buy her cigarettes at 13.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, wow.

[Zach Amico]

And I can't imagine I. So I. I got into incense lately and I specifically buy the black lady ones. They're literally called black pussy.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. And they're like black lady. And I think they all smell really good. And if we're gonna smoke in the house, I light one. And I got that from my sister in law who's like, well, I used to smoke in my room and I would light incense. And I was trying to think I would be in so much trouble for lighting incense in my room. If I had been 13, 14, that would have been an investigate. That would have been.

[Katie Hannigan]

Wow, your parents are strict. I throw cigarettes in my room. I just cracked the window. Just blow it right out.

[Zach Amico]

I lived in an apartment.

[Katie Hannigan]

Okay. A little easier.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I would have been. It would. I have to preface this. The way my mom and my aunt claim. What my mom and ain't claim is that they're very sensitive to smells.

[Katie Hannigan]

Okay. Okay.

[Zach Amico]

So like, if I wore AX in the morning, my mom would hang her head out the car window, gagging. Wow.

[Katie Hannigan]

It is. Well, AX is strong. My husband.

[Joe Gorman]

I mean, anything but, like, moms are also any cologne.

[Katie Hannigan]

Moms are bitches.

[Joe Gorman]

Moms are the most dramatic human beings on the face.

[Zach Amico]

Any cologne. My mom will go, what, Zachary? Your perfume.

[Katie Hannigan]

I can't wait to have kids. I'm gonna be just like that, calling your son's cologne.

[Zach Amico]

And I go, mom, it's not perfume. I'm a boy. She goes, ya ass to shave.

[Joe Gorman]

That's such a. That is such a.

[Zach Amico]

She could never get the word. The word cologne just didn't exist in her head.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah, my first boyfriend wore like heavy Armani. And when I. Every now and then I catch a whiff of it going down and I'm like, oh, Andrew. Like, it's crazy. Brings it back.

[Joe Gorman]

I'm an old Spice guy from puberty to grave, baby.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, okay.

[Zach Amico]

I like that. I like consistency.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, that's the way to go.

[Katie Hannigan]

Spice is the working man's.

[Joe Gorman]

That is. You know what? It. It does have a very like. Oh, this is like a grandpa smell.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Like, I'm okay with that. You.

[Zach Amico]

I try. Lately, I've been doing anything that's sandalwood and bourbon.

[Katie Hannigan]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

You like a forest? If I have money. Sauvage.

[Katie Hannigan]

Whoa. Johnny Depp.

[Zach Amico]

Sauvage is a very nice. But to give you an idea of how sensitive my family is to smells, for Christmas this year, I get my uncle the same thing for Christmas every year.

[Katie Hannigan]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

Which is a multi pack of Dr. Squash soap.

[Katie Hannigan]

Okay.

[Joe Gorman]

You know what? That's a really nice gift. He loves.

[Katie Hannigan]

That's a really nice gift.

[Zach Amico]

I had a talk with him a couple years ago about it. He's like, that's great. And he said, if you want to get me that every year, because I get him enough for the year and he's just about out next Christmas.

[Katie Hannigan]

That's great.

[Zach Amico]

And that's our deal. And he goes, they're great. So I got him that and a bourbon body wash. It was in a box. When my mom brought it out for Christmas, it was in a garbage bag. Oh, wow. And I went, why? She was Zachary. Something broke in there. It fucking stinks. And I went, are you sure? Exactly. I could smell it from across the fucking room. And my uncle opened it and it was just a regular pack of soap.

[Joe Gorman]

Yes.

[Katie Hannigan]

You know what I gotta tell you, though. Cause this could be a female thing. Cause I did the don't tell when the Dr. Squanch sponsored it and they gave us I love anything free. I'm like, give it to me. I took all the soap. It was so strong. I had to put it in a Ziploc bag. I don't even know what I was thinking. I can't use it. It's like a very man smell. It was so strong. I put it in a Ziploc bag, put it in a drawer, and it was like stinking up the little cupboard I had it in.

[Zach Amico]

Maybe it's a female thing, I think.

[Katie Hannigan]

Because I think I know I have a stronger sense of smell than Mike.

[Zach Amico]

I would definitely say so.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah. Because I'll be like, oh, my God, I smell something weird. I'm like going around and he just has no idea. You know?

[Zach Amico]

I'm a big fan of the pine tar. Dr. Squatch.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yeah.

[Katie Hannigan]

They have great sense for dudes. I really. I do like them.

[Zach Amico]

I. Everything has been very smell oriented.

[Joe Gorman]

That's good. I use more, but I use tea tree soap.

[Katie Hannigan]

Okay.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Then I have like a little off camera.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

I have one of those, like, little loofahs. So I just put it on the loofah and I just scrub my ass down. And then I have a nice facial cleanser and a toner afterwards. Kelly's got me, like, minding my penis.

[Katie Hannigan]

Your skin looks great.

[Joe Gorman]

Thank you. Thank you very much. Not bad for 42, huh?

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah, you look good.

[Joe Gorman]

Thank you.

[Zach Amico]

I always forget you're 42.

[Joe Gorman]

I'm an old ass man.

[Zach Amico]

You are a young man at heart.

[Joe Gorman]

I have. I have a youthful je ne sais quoi. I'm a gray. No gray yet.

[Zach Amico]

I'm a washcloth guy Recently.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, yeah, you gotta do a washcloth.

[Zach Amico]

Very. It feels. Feels a little black.

[Katie Hannigan]

I. You know, I didn't know this until recently, but it is a stereotype that white people only use the bar.

[Joe Gorman]

The bar.

[Zach Amico]

And that's because be washing with the same bar, somebody else's pubic hair on it.

[Katie Hannigan]

Putting the bar to their own.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Katie Hannigan]

And that's not clean.

[Zach Amico]

No. Well, I always lathered up with the bar and then use my hand. I don't rub the bar. I rub the bar on, like, my chest.

[Katie Hannigan]

I've been a washcloth person for my life.

[Joe Gorman]

We've always been a washcloth person at my house. My sister had her own washcloth. I had my own washcloth. You know, it was just how it was.

[Zach Amico]

I've watched clothes.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Slides is the other new thing that makes me feel black.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, I love a slide that makes me feel. I found it, like, Asian because I got them from the TikTok.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, that's a good. Yeah, that's a good one. It helps. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That was. Last year's gift for every woman in my family was the cloud slides.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yes. We both have them. We love those.

[Zach Amico]

So that's what I do for every holiday is I every. So I've got my wife, her sister, her mom, my mom, my aunt, my grandma, and my stepmom. I do a base gift for all of them.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, wow, that's smart, Zach. That's so smart.

[Zach Amico]

So that there's no competition. And then wife gets her own gifts, Grandma gets her own gift and depend, and mom gets her own special thing.

[Katie Hannigan]

That's nice.

[Zach Amico]

But everybody else gets base gifts. So last year was slides. This year was at. Shannon got one too. The Shannon. How does. It's not a slanket.

[Shannon]

I think it's.

[Zach Amico]

I think it's a blanket hoodie.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, so it's kind of like a Snuggie sort of.

[Zach Amico]

No, but it's a hoodie. Oh, it's a hoodie that goes.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, a hoodie blanket. Yep. I've seen them.

[Joe Gorman]

So it's almost like a Jedi robe type thing.

[Zach Amico]

No, it's like a hoodie. It goes over. It's a pullover. Oh, and Shannon, your review.

[Shannon]

In this, like, nightmare winter that we had, every single day, I would go home, change my clothes, put that on over my clothes, and I just lived in it.

[Katie Hannigan]

I love it. I love it.

[Zach Amico]

So Shannon's part Of my squad, of course.

[Katie Hannigan]

You seem like you would be a really good gift giver. That's a great strategy.

[Zach Amico]

It's. No one gets mad, like there's no competition over it.

[Katie Hannigan]

Everybody gets a whole one thing.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And usually it's one high quality. Like, I go like a nice one thing.

[Joe Gorman]

Nice.

[Zach Amico]

And I like to take care of my ladies.

[Joe Gorman]

That's good for you, man.

[Katie Hannigan]

Absolutely.

[Zach Amico]

Hey, guys, real quick. You ever wake up in the morning and just feel soft? Like your coffee is warming your hands but not doing a damn thing for your balls or your brain? Well, that's why they created body brain Coffee. It's not just coffee. It's coffee with purpose. Specifically, testosterone packed with clinically backed ingredients. This isn't your girlfriend's oat milk latte. This is for men who want to get their edge back. In the gym, in the boardroom, and, yeah, in the bedroom too. And it's not just about tea. Body brain is also built to dial in your focus, clarity, and mood, thanks to lion's Mane, Ashwagandha and L Theanine. So while your basic brew is giving you the jitters and a crash, Body Brain coffee is helping you stay sharp, calm, and locked in, all while supporting your natural testosterone levels. If you're serious about your energy, your mindset, and your masculinity, it starts with what you put in your cup. You can save 15% today with the promo code [e-mail] that's Z O O [e-mail] powerbraincoffee.com power your day, fuel your drive. Let's get back into the show. We got sound yet, Shannon?

[Shannon]

Yes, we have sound.

[Joe Gorman]

All right.

[Zach Amico]

All right, let's. Let's watch this first. Police. Excuse me? The. The body. The thing we were gonna watch.

[Shannon]

Yes. This is the DY dash cam we have.

[Zach Amico]

You get out of the car, we'll

[Unknown/Producer]

put you in one of our cars, and we'll drive around the corner so we're somewhere that there. There isn't a bunch of people driving by. I don't want to give him your car, sir. You can come to my house. I'll make you food and lasagna or whatever you want. I have a pool.

[Joe Gorman]

You get to win my pool. I'll make you lasagna. I'll suck your dick.

[Unknown/Producer]

How so? I told you that. Okay, well, the reason I pulled you over like I found you is because you were driving in the middle of two lanes. Okay? I want to make sure that you're okay to drive. I understand that. But like I said, that's why I pulled you over. And now I'm talking to you. I smell alcohol. Okay? So that's why I want to do our investigation. Okay, I'm going to ask you again. Step out of the car. Okay, okay, okay, Okay. I need you to step out of your car. Okay.

[Joe Gorman]

This is like white privilege, too.

[Unknown/Producer]

Sorry.

[Katie Hannigan]

Really kind about it.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Because like, it's like they went in. I, I, you know, maybe this is like my like copaganda sense going off, but I don't think they would be that patient if it were a man or a minority behind.

[Katie Hannigan]

Well, they know they're going to release the tape. They're like, we're going to sell this for five.

[Joe Gorman]

Look how fucking look at. See how these police officers aren't kneeling on her neck for eight and a half minutes.

[Zach Amico]

I don't think there's anything to do with that. I think it's. They go, oh, this is Britney Spears.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

TMZ coming out. Yeah, I need to mind my fucking peas and Q.

[Shannon]

They also gave her the option, though, because they're noticing that she's like a high profile figure. They said, we can go around the block if you want. So no one sees this. I feel like they're being very accommodating.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah, no, they're being extremely accommodating. She offered to make a lasagna.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Katie Hannigan]

I'd be like, okay, let's go, let's go.

[Joe Gorman]

Let's swimming in the pool, eating some lasagna.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, yeah. I mean, it sounded like she didn't just pull that out of her ass. She has a recipe.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Or she has lasagna in the house currently that she's drunk and thinking about.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah, I make a great lasagna. Can I say that?

[Zach Amico]

I believe it?

[Katie Hannigan]

Yep.

[Zach Amico]

And I bet because there are times going home drunk going, oh, I got half a tray in the fridge.

[Joe Gorman]

Is there nothing better than real life

[Zach Amico]

bad boy open cold.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, yeah. You gotta soak up the alcohol.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Like, oh, my God. I have that at home.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know how you. I love cold leftovers.

[Katie Hannigan]

Cold pasta's good.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And then, of course, everyone knows lasagnas. Anything like that.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Better the next day.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

100.

[Katie Hannigan]

I make it with a bechamel and that stuff it soaks into the pasta. So good.

[Joe Gorman]

Nice.

[Zach Amico]

All right. So was that pretty much the end of that, Shannon?

[Shannon]

Yeah, I think so. We can go on to the other one.

[Zach Amico]

So she apparently told the Cop something. And this is. I would say, if not. If this is not a blatant lie, this would be a big reveal in the Britney Spears backstory that we have yet to uncover.

[Shannon]

I'm gonna a spoiler alert. This is true.

[Zach Amico]

Ooh. Oh, good.

[Shannon]

Yes, I checked.

[Unknown/Producer]

I'm gonna read you a couple things. Okay, so this is what's called Watson advisement. Okay. Okay. So you are hereby advised that being under the influence of alcohol or drugs or both, impairs your ability to safely operate a motor. I take lentil and Proac every morning. Okay. I'm like a Stepford line. Baseline is proac. Every 60% of women take proac. Therefore, she's rightly dangerous to human life. To drive while under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Or if you continue to drive under the influence of alcohol or drugs or as a result of that driving, someone or something killed you could be charged with murder. Do you understand that? Sure. I know. My mom accidentally killed the man on a bike. Whoa. I never did that before. Okay. He was a biker. Yes. Okay, I'm just going to read you another thing. What's called implied consent. Okay. And nothing happened to her. Why did I kill her? Why didn't they arrest her? How come my mom got away with everything? Okay, so because you. My mom tried to kill me. Because you have been arrested for dui. I'm not arrested, Sir. Are required by state law to submit to a chemical test to determine the alcohol and or drug content of your blood. You have a choice of taking a breath or blood test. If you refuse to submit to or fail to complete a chemical test, your driving privilege will be suspended for one year or revoked for two or three years. You do not have the right to talk to an attorney or have an attorney present before stating whether you. I know my right, sir. I know my right. Before deciding which test to take which or during the test, if you cannot complete the test you choose, you must submit to and complete a remaining test. Do you understand what I have explained to you?

[Zach Amico]

Pause.

[Joe Gorman]

Damn. That's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

Damn.

[Joe Gorman]

Britney has.

[Zach Amico]

Before we even open up the. My mom killed somebody.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah, she has a point. Yeah, she should be let go.

[Joe Gorman]

She has some demons.

[Zach Amico]

Before we open that can of worms isn't part of you like, don't do the breathalyzer. Britney.

[Katie Hannigan]

Right?

[Joe Gorman]

She's just.

[Katie Hannigan]

She's gonna lose her life.

[Zach Amico]

You're gonna lose it either way. You're gonna lose it either way. You're drunk. Wait till the blood test and see if it clears out of you. Yeah. Yeah, get a lawyer. Get something. Cause wait, you're fucked either way, right?

[Katie Hannigan]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

Part of me is like, ah, come on, Brittany. Make the right call. Do the blood test so that they have to take you in. That way you get an attorney to argue.

[Katie Hannigan]

Drink some water. Get a Gatorade.

[Zach Amico]

Get some. Yeah, clear it out a little. Baby. Don't do the breath.

[Joe Gorman]

That's really something.

[Zach Amico]

Like if you know you're drunk, don't do the breathalyzer.

[Katie Hannigan]

What did she blow? Should I say who?

[Zach Amico]

Probably a lot of scary old men when she was young. And that's part of this.

[Joe Gorman]

A lot of producers.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, keep it going.

[Unknown/Producer]

Do you understand the other side of the half of the defense of a revelation of a woman who has the hands of a right hand and then understands her rights as a woman and that knows that she's. If she's the victim. Lead has this morning at 1:00'. Clock.

[Zach Amico]

God, I love the story of a girl named Unlucky.

[Katie Hannigan]

She's so lucky.

[Joe Gorman]

Damn. That's crazy.

[Katie Hannigan]

She knows her rights.

[Zach Amico]

Did her accent change?

[Katie Hannigan]

It kind of went from like. It kind of went more Valley girl. I think it was like she's trying to fall a little bit like Southern. Yeah, it was like, I know my rights and as a woman. That's a woman. I am on Prozac and I have the rights of a woman.

[Zach Amico]

It's very performative. But hey, she's drunk. She's trying to get out of something.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, do you have the info on what her mom did and has this come out before?

[Shannon]

So the mother actually wrote about it in her own memoir. Of course she has admitted to it. And the quote unquote, man that she hit was a 12 year old old boy.

[Katie Hannigan]

Whoa.

[Joe Gorman]

That's even what. That's so up because like a man makes it seem like, okay, maybe he was like riding his bike too close like the highway.

[Katie Hannigan]

Maybe it was like a motorcycle. Motorcycle accidents happen all the time, but like that safe.

[Joe Gorman]

A 12 year old. It sounds like she was like drunk driving in the suburbs or something.

[Zach Amico]

What's the story here, Shan?

[Shannon]

So it says in 1975, she was driving in heavy rain. She was trying to bring her injured brother to the hospital and who she

[Zach Amico]

hit with her car.

[Shannon]

And this kid was on a bicycle, 12 year old Anthony Winters. And he just I guess kind of like came out of nowhere. And so she was not criminally charged

[Katie Hannigan]

for it, but that was 75. I mean like they were losing kids left and right. They were probably like, yeah, he decided

[Joe Gorman]

to run away from Home. We'll make another one. It doesn't matter.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah, they just didn't care.

[Joe Gorman]

It was different. They drink out of the garden hose back then. They're not soft.

[Zach Amico]

I feel like in 75 they would have been like, that's his fault.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah, totally.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, what were you doing? You should have paid attention to. Pay attention to these vehicles.

[Katie Hannigan]

I know. What was the race of the kid? Just wondering. This was the.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. It would explain why she didn't see him at night.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. Should have been smiling.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, keep. Let's finish this one out.

[Unknown/Producer]

What time is it? I have. There's so many hours that have gone by that I have worked my ass off and did my hair. Three of my hairdressers that have done and sparret. Do you understand what is happening? Do you understand you have to do a breath or blood test. You understand? I know, but I, I, I do not agree with saying that I'm a rich. Listen. Okay, fine. You don't have to agree. You have to choose a test. Let him finish. Answer his question. No, but I don't agree with what he said. I don't. I say you have to agree. He said, he said, he said you, you understand. I don't understand when you say that I, I, I don't have. I'm being a risk or you are. I don't. Okay, that's fine.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, Brittany.

[Zach Amico]

Man, they're trying.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Katie Hannigan]

I hope she goes back out on tour.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. I think I finally got a chance with her now.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah, I'll see her, I'll see her in Vegas.

[Zach Amico]

You know, there's always a day, Joe, on your. There's a chance in the great scheme of things that no matter how beautiful a woman is, that you on your best day meet her on her lowest. And those Venn diagrams meet just for, they just touch for a second.

[Katie Hannigan]

Sometimes you just need to feel safe.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And there's nothing wrong with that.

[Joe Gorman]

That's what's up, by the way.

[Shannon]

She did blow.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, no.

[Shannon]

And because, you know, they do two separate tests and one was 0.05, one was 0.06. So it might be in her, in her favor.

[Joe Gorman]

Okay, that's technically.

[Katie Hannigan]

So she was just on pills.

[Joe Gorman]

She was just a bad driver.

[Unknown/Producer]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, well, she was on. Yeah, she was probably.

[Katie Hannigan]

That's what she said. She said, look, I'm up on pills. Yeah, I mean, Prozac doesn't, it doesn't like make you have a hard time driving.

[Joe Gorman]

It shouldn't.

[Zach Amico]

Chad, what did I blow again? The power hour.

[Shannon]

It was like 0.02 or something. Negligible.

[Zach Amico]

We did a power hour, and we're doing shots of liquor.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, you blew 0.02 taking shots, Shannon?

[Shannon]

Yeah, it was like. Mine was like a 0.23 or something.

[Zach Amico]

Whoa. Oh, my God.

[Joe Gorman]

Shannon is an animal. God damn.

[Shannon]

And I wasn't taking the shots with them. The guys were doing the shots. I was just doing one shot of white claw every minute for an hour.

[Zach Amico]

We did one shot of white claw every minute for an hour. And then I. What were we doing? Tequila.

[Shannon]

Tequila.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, my God.

[Katie Hannigan]

Zach. I'm gonna call you next time. I'm hammered, dude.

[Zach Amico]

I somehow got more sober in the power. I, I. I had blown higher, continued to drink, and blew lower.

[Joe Gorman]

Wow.

[Shannon]

Got to your baseline.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I hit my. I hit my. I hit my wall, and I just stayed there. So I am the person that I. Other than a few occasions in the last couple years where I've mixed the wrong things, I have been the get people in cabs, make sure everybody's home safe kind of guy.

[Katie Hannigan]

That's good.

[Zach Amico]

That was not the case. I used to be, like, a blackout drunk.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

More I cut myself. I've become the switch to water guy and, like, get people in cabs.

[Joe Gorman]

Good for you.

[Katie Hannigan]

I'm the same way, where it's like, you just can't let it. I just black out so easily that I'm like.

[Zach Amico]

Well, they say the more you black out, the more.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Typically you will. Like, now your body shuts off quicker.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. That's like, it. It goes into that area.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah. So I was like. I just. I'm just careful now because it's scary. It's scary as a lady, because you're like, did I blow someone? What happened? Did I blow a hobo?

[Zach Amico]

By the way, that's not just the ladies here. Yeah.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I'll tell you, things have happened. I've gotten photos.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, boy.

[Zach Amico]

I also. And I had this conversation this week. I don't know if it's responsible or just. I know me at this point, when I go buy liquor, I buy Pedialyte, too.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, okay. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I make myself drink the Pedial. I usually drink.

[Katie Hannigan]

You drink it first?

[Zach Amico]

No, I drink it at the end of the day. I try to do at least a liter or two of water, and I'll do ice cold Pedialyte. Or I'll put the Pedialyte. I'll put the. Excuse me, the water in the freezer. Take a completely frozen bottle of water to bed with me, a cold Pedialyte, and Then as the water melts, drink that through the night.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah, that's what I mean. That's what you're supposed to do. Anyway. It really makes the hangover better. I'm a big. I drink coconut water like every day. Otherwise I'll just feel hungover. And I'm just dehydrated and 40, so

[Zach Amico]

I'm a big fan of the liquid electrolyte. The water boys, my favorite.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, I like the lmt.

[Unknown/Producer]

Okay.

[Katie Hannigan]

I like those ones.

[Zach Amico]

And I've also been doing emergency elements.

[Joe Gorman]

Emergency is good every.

[Zach Amico]

On the road because I get sick every time I fly.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, my God. Oh, I love supplements.

[Zach Amico]

I feel like it's. I don't know if it's the recycled air.

[Katie Hannigan]

It is.

[Zach Amico]

It's being around a million people, it's everything touching a billion.

[Joe Gorman]

You're just in, like, this giant tube that's like a germ.

[Zach Amico]

And then you're on the road and, you know, you shake hands with gazillion fans.

[Joe Gorman]

You're in a new environment, too.

[Zach Amico]

And so I do an emergency water bottle with an emergency to start every morning now. And it's really cut how much I get sick on the road.

[Joe Gorman]

Good.

[Katie Hannigan]

And when you get old and you start taking care of yourself, you're like, damn, I should have done this at 30. Like, I realized, so good.

[Joe Gorman]

Now it's like, oh, this is how I feel like when I just, like, move my body.

[Katie Hannigan]

Right. Right.

[Joe Gorman]

Accurate amount and have enough water and get eight hours of sleep.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah. I just started taking iron supplements.

[Zach Amico]

How's that going?

[Katie Hannigan]

Haven't shit. Haven't shit. But, you know, we'll see how it goes. Changing my life.

[Zach Amico]

May I recommend nicotine pouches?

[Katie Hannigan]

Thank you.

[Zach Amico]

They make Alps. The one that Tucker Carlson does. Shout out. Tucker. They are. He does 12 milligram ones.

[Katie Hannigan]

Whoa.

[Zach Amico]

If you need to shit, I would say an iced coffee and one of those.

[Katie Hannigan]

Damn.

[Zach Amico]

And you are. I mean, I dare you not to. I mean, that's. That would be a great radio contest. Like keeping your hand on a car.

[Katie Hannigan]

Like, you just can't shit.

[Zach Amico]

You just kill people immediately. That would murder. Because didn't the one lady die from hold your wee for a week?

[Katie Hannigan]

Yes, she did.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, she did.

[Katie Hannigan]

Hydro toxic.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. She drank so much water and it ended up, like, diluting her. Like, all, like, the sodium in her body.

[Katie Hannigan]

It can happen. Yeah, it can happen.

[Joe Gorman]

Like she, like, drowned from within. Yes, from that.

[Katie Hannigan]

It's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

I have to be very careful about how I tell a story. I was on a project with someone who was in A costume that was very. Not breathable. And he was very stupid and did not tell us that he had a history of hydration issues.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, God.

[Zach Amico]

And when he got out of the costume, instead of drinking the water that was provided, he went to Crafty and drank seven sodas back to back. Wow.

[Katie Hannigan]

Was it a caffeinated soda? It's like a Sprite or like Diet Coke?

[Zach Amico]

It was a very sugary soda.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, that's gonna just dehydrate you even more.

[Zach Amico]

And it was very bad.

[Katie Hannigan]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

And we found out that we thought it was one thing and it turned out it was the chugging seven sodas when that dehydrated.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah. That's gross.

[Zach Amico]

And then his mother had to fly where we were because he was not well.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, no.

[Katie Hannigan]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

And she said, oh, this is like the third or fourth time he's done this. No. And we're like. Because we made him like science, like water dude. He also signed stuff that was like, I know what I'm doing. Like, I'm of good health and stuff.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But that was a very skit. We all thought we were going home and we all thought we were maybe getting charged with at one point. We thought. We thought a. Our thing we were working on was done and that some of us may be going to trial.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yes. That's scary.

[Katie Hannigan]

But, you know, it's hard. It's hard when you don't like water. Some people don't like the taste of the water.

[Joe Gorman]

It's like, it's like a non taste, but it's also like your body is like 80% water.

[Katie Hannigan]

I drink it with a straw that I just guzzle it down.

[Joe Gorman]

I just don't think about it.

[Zach Amico]

And like, I think ice water is so eat. Like.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I know not everybody likes cold stuff.

[Katie Hannigan]

I like the room temp, but I gotta put like a lemon or something in there because the New York City water, there's no electrolytes in this water here. They. They filter it out.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Just fluoride.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah. Yeah. Goes right to your brain.

[Joe Gorman]

I use the Brita. I just. And I rock that. I keep it in the fridge. I start my morning off with a glass. I just try to drink more water throughout the day.

[Zach Amico]

I do this. I do the big. I have something like a Stanley, but it's bigger.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I do fill it with ice to the top and I gotta finish it by the end of the day.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, I love my Stanley. I love my Stanley.

[Zach Amico]

That was this year's Mother's Day gift for everybody.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

Not One woman in my family, not one woman in my family had a Stanley. Isn't that crazy?

[Katie Hannigan]

That is crazy. It's a life. It's a lifestyle.

[Zach Amico]

They were like, these are great. Where do you get these?

[Unknown/Producer]

Wow.

[Joe Gorman]

Everywhere.

[Katie Hannigan]

Everyone has, I love a Stanley.

[Joe Gorman]

Maybe it's just like that New York mentality we have because everyone has a Stanley out here.

[Katie Hannigan]

Well, they're 30 bucks, so it's like, it's a lot. But then if you realize, like, like, it is so worth it.

[Joe Gorman]

It's like the only one. You need one. It's like good for a lifetime.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You know, unless you maybe forget it for a while.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And maybe had coffee in it. And then you open it up and there's an ecosystem inside.

[Katie Hannigan]

Well, that's the thing. It's like, they're supposed to be eco friendly, but then if you lose it, it's like, well, that's plastic. Would actually degrade a lot quicker than this metal hunk. I I Now that's in the sea.

[Zach Amico]

That will be a thing archaeologists find one day from our generation.

[Unknown/Producer]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

All these giant metal cups.

[Katie Hannigan]

They loved liquid.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

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[Katie Hannigan]

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[Shannon]

Loved by guests.

[Joe Gorman]

This podcast is sponsored by Talkspace. May is mental health awareness month, and Talkspace, the leading virtual therapy provider, is sharing the message that connection is crucial because good relationships are an essential and sometimes overlooked component of mental well being. If your relationships could use some strengthening,

[Zach Amico]

a licensed therapist from Talkspace can help.

[Joe Gorman]

Therapy can help you communicate better with loved ones, repair conflicts, and understand how

[Zach Amico]

to address loneliness and build community. It's easy to sign up. Just go to talkspace.com and you'll be paired with a therapist within two days. You'll meet with your therapist online on your schedule.

[Joe Gorman]

Plus, Talkspace is in network with most major insurers and most insured members have a $0 copay. Make personal connections a priority and start today.

[Zach Amico]

If you're not covered by insurance, get

[Joe Gorman]

$80 off your first month with Talkspace. When you go to talkspace.com and enter promo code SPACE80.

[Zach Amico]

That's S, P, A, C, E80. To match with a licensed therapist today,

[Joe Gorman]

go to talkspace.com and Enter promo C.O.D.

[Zach Amico]

all right, well, we do have, and this is very upset, two different men among men gotten altercations this week. One, a wrestler who I admire greatly. One, I would say the greatest American athlete.

[Joe Gorman]

Interesting.

[Katie Hannigan]

Michael Phelps.

[Joe Gorman]

I was gonna say Michael Phelps. That's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

More American.

[Katie Hannigan]

Okay, okay.

[Zach Amico]

Joey Chestnut.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, my that is the most American with Joey.

[Zach Amico]

Joey Chestnut pleads guilty to hitting man at bar Shannon.

[Joe Gorman]

Police say was to defend America.

[Katie Hannigan]

The honor of blasted his Chestnut.

[Shannon]

So he says he kind of doesn't even remember what happened.

[Zach Amico]

He was having a few.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

He was very drunk and he feels like he was probably playing around and like slapped this guy. But I guess he slapped him extra hard.

[Joe Gorman]

That does kind of happen with the guys when you're just palling around. Yeah.

[Katie Hannigan]

Smacking your friends.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. You just don't realize how incredibly strong and athletic.

[Zach Amico]

I don't think it would a friend.

[Shannon]

No. So he was sentenced to 180 days of probation. They are allowing him to travel to New York for the hot dog eating contest.

[Katie Hannigan]

Wow. Treatment.

[Joe Gorman]

That's going to have an ankle monitor on at the.

[Zach Amico]

So we're doing okay.

[Katie Hannigan]

If Joey Chestnut slapped me though, I would be like, okay, you get one.

[Zach Amico]

Listen, what do you want Kobayashi to come back and beat us? We got to protect America.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Katie Hannigan]

You want to go slapped you with a hot dog.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I would bet he has big. Ha. I feel like he would be one of those dudes that's surprisingly robust and he's got big man hands.

[Katie Hannigan]

I love that word, robust.

[Zach Amico]

The other. I know you guys aren't wrestling people, but I watched the transformation of a guy. There was a guy from Europe named Ludwig Kaiser and they did a thing in wrestling where they had a fake Mexican wrestler named El Grande Americano, which already is very funny.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yes. Love that.

[Zach Amico]

And they had him come out and say he was from the Gulf of Mexico. The Gulf of America. Then that guy got injured and they replaced him with a guy, Ludwig Kaiser, who's like a foot taller than him as a joke. And this guy spoke, I believe German and something else. This guy decides, I'm a fucking Mexican now. Learns full Spanish.

[Katie Hannigan]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

And fluent. Immediately starts cutting fluent Spanish promos. Gets involved, starts dating a Mexican chick.

[Katie Hannigan]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

And has, despite being a bad guy, become a Mexican hero.

[Joe Gorman]

That's so funny.

[Zach Amico]

People love this motherfucker.

[Joe Gorman]

He fully commits and has like a dead family member tattooed on his chest.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. This guy is kissing. This guy's kissing babies in Mexico masterclass. So he had to turn himself in for battery this week.

[Katie Hannigan]

Wow. He really committed.

[Zach Amico]

We're nervous.

[Katie Hannigan]

Just kidding.

[Zach Amico]

Well, no reported people were nervous that because he. He's about to have. He's gonna face the original El Grande Americano in Mexico.

[Joe Gorman]

Whoa.

[Zach Amico]

Mask versus mask. Which is a very big deal there. Wow. And people are nervous when they heard battery and they hear wrestler. That it might have been a lady. Then you find out it was a dude, and you're like, okay, maybe it was an altercation. Whatever. Now the story has come out, and I think he's even cooler. He was kissing his girlfriend on an elevator. And a guy who's a Mexican woman, and they say a guy told him, hey, you two knock it off or I'm gonna call ice.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, wow.

[Zach Amico]

And he knocked the guy's dick in

[Katie Hannigan]

the dirt in the elevator.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Katie Hannigan]

That's great.

[Zach Amico]

Just fucking cracked up in an elevator. Cracked one in the elevator. And when I say, you know what? Sometimes let men be men.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You popped off in front of the guy's chick. You were racist.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And you got a shot in the fucking nose. I say give it a walk. In fact, you should be embarrassed. You charged him.

[Katie Hannigan]

This guy is a hero.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, I mean, that's like something like.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, you want to bring it up?

[Katie Hannigan]

Bring him up.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, he might. He might be your speed.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, wow.

[Katie Hannigan]

He looks. He's very Eastern European.

[Unknown/Producer]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Let's show give a full body.

[Katie Hannigan]

He's got like a Hitler.

[Zach Amico]

You think a little full body.

[Katie Hannigan]

It's not my type.

[Zach Amico]

Well, wait, he's. He's got the. He's got the physique.

[Joe Gorman]

That's wild. I'm gonna call ice on you.

[Katie Hannigan]

That's a crazy thing to say.

[Joe Gorman]

That's very. Oh, wow. Yeah, he looks like a superhero with those.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, I love it. He is cute.

[Shannon]

Okay.

[Katie Hannigan]

I like him.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

The mask stays on.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah. You weirdo.

[Joe Gorman]

That's wild.

[Katie Hannigan]

Fabulous.

[Zach Amico]

So shout out. Shout out grande Americano.

[Joe Gorman]

Shout out to any man who defends his right to mack on a woman in an elevator.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yes. That's a place for intimacy, honestly.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, kind of.

[Zach Amico]

It's like, oh, that's the fun, dude. When you're on an elevator with your significant other and it closed and you're alone to have that pawing in each other make out session before the door's open, especially.

[Joe Gorman]

And especially, like, when, you know, like, you're about to go back and. Or something.

[Katie Hannigan]

Especially when there's one other guy in there.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, especially.

[Unknown/Producer]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

It's like, get a load of this home.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, like a weird cowboy hat. You're like.

[Joe Gorman]

You're the elevators with, like, the mirror. So you can also, like, look at yourself doing it and then stare at the guy staring at you.

[Katie Hannigan]

Still got it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, still got it, baby. And we will end today's show on one of our favorite things.

[Joe Gorman]

All right.

[Zach Amico]

Which is animal striking back. This isn't going to Do.

[Joe Gorman]

All right.

[Zach Amico]

One of my favorite things in the world is when an animal that I believe has probably been abused or treated poorly decides it's had enough.

[Joe Gorman]

Nice.

[Zach Amico]

And, Shannon, this is. And it also goes in our continuing segment, which started as Indians versus trains.

[Joe Gorman]

I loved that.

[Zach Amico]

I loved that. Now it has gone on to Indians versus everything.

[Joe Gorman]

Beautiful.

[Zach Amico]

This is Indian v. Elephant.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, nice.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, God.

[Zach Amico]

So, so far, just standing next to the elephant.

[Katie Hannigan]

I can't watch this.

[Zach Amico]

I could tell that elephant poking it with a stick.

[Katie Hannigan]

That elephant's been up. Look how skinny it is.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You poked it with a st.

[Unknown/Producer]

It.

[Katie Hannigan]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

It is now standing on his knees. It is now pushing him over with its trunk. Trunk on the back of the neck.

[Unknown/Producer]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Trunk around the neck.

[Joe Gorman]

Whoa.

[Zach Amico]

And now it is putting its full wing. Oh, my God. On his spine.

[Unknown/Producer]

Whoa.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, God. I just feel bad for the elephant.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. You have to respect these animals.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah. You can't.

[Zach Amico]

Like, how many mad was this thing that this happened?

[Katie Hannigan]

I know. They go crazy. They go crazy from being in confinement.

[Joe Gorman]

They don't. They're not meant to do. They're not meant to serve us.

[Katie Hannigan]

No, they're not.

[Joe Gorman]

Look at that. Look at that.

[Katie Hannigan]

I like it. Don't torture creature this mighty. Have some boundaries and respect. Thank you. Hardy rocks 465. I'm just saying my sentiment exactly.

[Zach Amico]

You know, maybe we don't need to tame. Maybe we don't need to ride those.

[Katie Hannigan]

Don't go on an elephant ride when you're in Thailand. White bitch.

[Joe Gorman]

Plenty of domesticated animals you can't like. Horses were. Are domesticated. To ride a dog.

[Katie Hannigan]

Ride a dog.

[Joe Gorman]

I would love to ride a giant dog. Oh, man, if I could ride my dog, that would be great.

[Katie Hannigan]

That's great. There's mastiffs in this. The East Village mastiffs. Have you seen them?

[Joe Gorman]

I've seen it. My mom used to have a bouvier dog, which is one of those giant sheepdog. They look like a big endless. Like, if it was like, oh, damn. Like, like little kids would all. And like, little kids love big dogs. Like, they get all excited to run up. Beautiful.

[Katie Hannigan]

They're actually good for city life because they can't really run. They can only just go walking.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I just. I. I want to commend said elephant.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I wish more and more elephant. I wish. I wish they had a union.

[Katie Hannigan]

I do too.

[Zach Amico]

And yeah, maybe something that, like that big and that powerful, we should take it as a sign from God to leave it where it belongs.

[Joe Gorman]

Unless you have, like, that natural Kind of charisma, like Tarzan and you can naturally, like, tame. You have, like, a connection.

[Katie Hannigan]

If you're a whisperer, then it's fine.

[Joe Gorman]

If you put out your hand like this and, like, their trunk touches your hand and you have a connection, and then they wrap their trunk around you and put you on their back, that's

[Katie Hannigan]

the next thing you know, that guy's, like, molesting them.

[Zach Amico]

But if you need to poke it with a stick to do what you're doing or you need to hit it, you got what you got.

[Katie Hannigan]

And I shit on America all the time. I hate this country. And it's falling apart. But we do have animal regulations. We do have. They don't do that here.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah, they don't do that. They stop doing all the elephant.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

They don't do animal exhibits. And, like, honestly, it's good. It's much shittier now, but it's probably for the best.

[Katie Hannigan]

I went to a circus in Russia.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Katie Hannigan]

I studied abroad there. We went to a circus. It was the most up thing I have ever seen.

[Joe Gorman]

That's where, like, the bears ride around the tricycle.

[Katie Hannigan]

Right. I saw it. They were driving cars, and they were up out of their minds.

[Joe Gorman]

I bet, like, that was, like.

[Katie Hannigan]

Was horrific.

[Zach Amico]

Nailed to those bikes, though, right?

[Katie Hannigan]

I mean, these guys were just driving a little car. They were just. It was like a go kart, but, like, every animal.

[Zach Amico]

That does sound hilarious.

[Katie Hannigan]

It was pretty cool.

[Zach Amico]

Who's driving? Bears driving.

[Joe Gorman]

That's like Siegfried and Roy. Like, all of their tigers were always, like, drugged up until, like, the drugs wore off. And then, yeah, Roy got mauled.

[Katie Hannigan]

What's the same thing with the. You know, the monkey that attacked the lady, Ripped the lady's face off. She has a new face, by the way.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, good for her. She looks great.

[Zach Amico]

Great in comparison. Yes.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But she also. It was drunk.

[Katie Hannigan]

It was on Percocet. Yeah. Because. Because they get so aggressive once they get older. You have to medicate them.

[Zach Amico]

Wasn't one of the ladies also doing sex stuff with one?

[Joe Gorman]

I'm sure probably.

[Katie Hannigan]

They all are. They all are.

[Zach Amico]

I don't trust it.

[Katie Hannigan]

They're, like, calling it people. Their boyfriend.

[Joe Gorman]

I won't even jerk off in front of my dog.

[Zach Amico]

Dog. Yeah.

[Katie Hannigan]

Well, I hope not.

[Joe Gorman]

But, like, I mean, like, he's not gonna be in the room, you know? I'm like, all right, you got to go in the other room, buddy.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

Dad's gotta go exorcise these demons.

[Zach Amico]

Well, they say Bubbles, Michael Jackson's monkey turned 40, got older, and he's still alive.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But they said they used to keep him down, like, once Bubbles turned.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah, yeah, they have to.

[Zach Amico]

They had to keep him, like, all the way at the end of Neverland. And he would fucking, like, call people over. Like, little kids would want to beat him and he would just mush them with.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah, he would.

[Zach Amico]

In his hand. And just.

[Katie Hannigan]

They're vicious. They'll kill each other over a banana.

[Joe Gorman]

Well, they don't want to be in, like, a small, little confined. They don't want to, like, wear clothes, like, just let them, like, you know, if you really care, you should donate to an animal preserve.

[Katie Hannigan]

They have 99.7 the same DNA.

[Joe Gorman]

That's crazy.

[Katie Hannigan]

Chimpanzees.

[Joe Gorman]

That's wild.

[Katie Hannigan]

Wild.

[Joe Gorman]

I mean, like, there used to be, like, all kinds of different species of like. Like Homo sapiens and humans, like.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah, the Neanderthals. But we kill each other.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah. And they were like. Apparently there were like, several different species of humans, like, back then. And like, Homo sapiens were the ones that kind of like out the genetics of the others. And some died off. They're little, like, pygmy people. And there's some that were like 9ft tall, kind of Bigfoot type people.

[Zach Amico]

Well, the. What they think Bigfoot was, was Gigantopithecus.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Which was the. A nine foot bipedal.

[Joe Gorman]

It's so scary to think that.

[Zach Amico]

And then. So if you look at the. This is gonna be. I apologize. This is conspiracy, Zach. If you look at. Thank you. Gigantic Pythagoras. When you look at what are considered Bigfoot areas, which is northern Canada. Northern Canada into Oregon, in that area, Pacific Northwest. Now, what else, other than Bigfoot have we heard about the yeti? Right. Abominable Snowman.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

And that goes through Asia, through the mountains.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Those areas were connected before when it was Pangea.

[Katie Hannigan]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

So they think there is a through line where all those apes could have walked from Asia to America before the continent split.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And that it's all one version of something and different people throughout history have seen it.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And that's where we get Bigfoot from.

[Katie Hannigan]

I believe that that's a conspiracy theory I'm on board with.

[Joe Gorman]

I can get behind that, you know,

[Katie Hannigan]

because it's like they have all that evidence that, like, octopi are super intelligent. It's like there's so much that we don't know about the Earth and.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, we can end with this. Can you please look up? I just watched some. It was an exhibit at a zoo where they have Ropes and they show you how strong the different animals are. And could you beat this animal in a tug of war? So basically it's like a rope and it's connected to a weight and it's the average strength of that animal. And it shows how quickly we would lose.

[Joe Gorman]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Like competing with stuff. You're like, oh, I got that. And you're like, nope, that thing would rip me up.

[Katie Hannigan]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

And Shannon, I don't know exactly what you would search. Maybe rope strength test zoo.

[Shannon]

Does this look like it?

[Zach Amico]

That looks exactly like it.

[Unknown/Producer]

It.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, wow.

[Unknown/Producer]

See?

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, damn.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah. These. These guys. I would not around with one of these animals.

[Shannon]

I think Lewis needs to do this.

[Joe Gorman]

No.

[Zach Amico]

Oh. Guarantee you. Lewis thinks he could be. Dude. Lewis told us he could beat a moose in a fight. And then we had to show him how big moose are.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah, you don't want to around with a moose.

[Joe Gorman]

You think it's like a Bullwinkle thing. It's like. Like the size of like three cows or something. It's massive.

[Zach Amico]

He argued that he could choke out a moose MMA style.

[Joe Gorman]

He would like, jump on the. He would like, gravitate.

[Katie Hannigan]

This year at Skank Fest, it'll be animal cruelty, but that'll sell some tickets

[Zach Amico]

I'm not opposed to. Shannon, was there any more to that? That was it.

[Shannon]

No, that was it.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. Yes, Lewis has claimed. Has there been an animal Lewis hasn't claimed he could beat?

[Katie Hannigan]

No, no.

[Shannon]

He thinks he could beat them all.

[Joe Gorman]

The only thing that can stop Louis J. Gomez is another Louis J.

[Zach Amico]

Go

[Shannon]

mentioned being scared of bears. Right?

[Katie Hannigan]

I mean, you can't.

[Joe Gorman]

Big gay men.

[Zach Amico]

Not the animal, but yes.

[Katie Hannigan]

Grizzly bear or a polar bear, you're not gonna.

[Joe Gorman]

Polar bears will like you up there,

[Katie Hannigan]

and grizzly bears are huge. But black bears, you could. You could probably fight a black.

[Joe Gorman]

I mean, like black bears, you just like go on shoe.

[Shannon]

Yeah.

[Joe Gorman]

You know.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah. They're small.

[Joe Gorman]

They're small pandas. I could fuck up a panda, but that's all.

[Zach Amico]

I bet I. I bet a panda on a good day is a. Yeah.

[Katie Hannigan]

What about a koala, though? I held one one time when I.

[Joe Gorman]

That must have been nice.

[Katie Hannigan]

It was. It pissed on me.

[Joe Gorman]

Oh, nice. That means it likes you.

[Zach Amico]

That's what they do.

[Joe Gorman]

It feels comfortable, it feels safe, and

[Katie Hannigan]

it grabs on to you. I was. I was like a kid when I did it and it was just latched onto my tit immediately. You can see it in the photos.

[Joe Gorman]

It's just sexual harassment.

[Katie Hannigan]

Yeah. I was like.

[Zach Amico]

I watched this thing of orangutans feeling up women today made me laugh. But women are also showing up in like, bikini. Bikini tops with titty meat falling out to where now it's like a photo op with orangutans.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, of course. For Instagram.

[Joe Gorman]

I didn't know when orangutans had that big. Those big cheek face things that was like. Because they're like in mating season. I thought they just looked like.

[Zach Amico]

I did not know that either.

[Katie Hannigan]

Oh, yeah. I mean, they're vicious.

[Joe Gorman]

They're scary looking.

[Katie Hannigan]

In a heartbeat. That'll kill you.

[Zach Amico]

Look at us learning about animals here on the Zoo.

[Joe Gorman]

Fuck yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Well, thank you to my guests, Joe Gorman and Katie Hanning. Katie, please plug your taping one more time before we go.

[Katie Hannigan]

This Friday, May 29, 9:30pm at the Bell House in Brooklyn. It's in Gowanus, Brooklyn. I'm taping my new special. Please come out my tickets. You can find them online at Katie Hannigan forever. Just Google my name, Katie Hannigan and you will find them. Thank you. Please come.

[Zach Amico]

Fantastic. Please support Katie and her taping. She's super, super funny.

[Katie Hannigan]

Thank you.

[Zach Amico]

And you'll be really glad you went. And thank you guys for tuning in. We'll be back on Wednesday here on the morning zooka box.

[Unknown/Producer]

Bye.

[Zach Amico]

The bun's begun. Go sleeping in Noon is morning time

[Joe Gorman]

to him papa Chug it down just like your favorite ob a c be

[Zach Amico]

and join the crew. It's a whoop morning too. It's a Miko Morning 2.