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JP McDade
Fill ER up.
Zach Amico
You're listening to the Gas Digital Network.
Show Intro Voice
Wake up, it's time to go. Zakamiko's gotta show. Animals are here to play jokes and guests to start your day. Tell the sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs and cook some beef Laughter's waiting, don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky Grab a coffee and join the crew. It's Zach Amico.
Zach Amico
Morning, Sou. Welcome. Well, good morning. It is a fine and dandy Wednesday here at the Gas Digital Studios in New York City. It's me, your other boy, the international superstar Zach Amico. And I am pleased as punch to be joined by a group of very funny, talented people. Next to me, one of the funniest guys in the world and very proud to call him a friend, JP McDade. How you doing, man?
JP McDade
You freaking guys. Oh, my God. I'm good, man. Thanks for having me.
Zach Amico
Great to see you. Thank you very much for your time. Across the table from me, joining us again, stalwart of the show, one of my favorite. Another one of my favorite people, Molly. Vivian, how are you?
Molly Viman
Amazing. Tits swollen.
Zach Amico
Thank you. That's exactly what I was thinking. And next to her joining us for the first time, it is our new friend, Heather May.
Heather May
How are you Doing well, also tits swollen.
Zach Amico
Excellent. Thank you so much for being here. Let's knock plugs out of the way. Jp what do you want people to check out, dog?
JP McDade
Just find me on the Internet. McDade, baby. On Instagram. JPMCD Comedy on YouTube. Got a special called In Brooklyn on YouTube. Go check it out.
Zach Amico
Very good, Molly.
Molly Viman
Instagram. How did I get so sexy? Yeah, that's it.
Zach Amico
Wonderful. Heather, I believe you've got some stuff to plug.
Heather May
I do. Actually I'm going on tour with you. So June 4th, 5th, 6th and 7th, we'll be in northern Indiana and all over Michigan.
Zach Amico
Yep, that's the amazing Amico Bros. World Tour. Heather and I will be doing a stand up show and then my brother Crack Amico will be doing a full concert. Why? Because I'm not following music. So come on out to that. You can find me on Instagram at zackisnotfunny. Punchup Live. Zachamico to get all those tickets. And hey, if you enjoy this program, go to gasdigital.com and use my promo code ZOO Z O O. You get your episodes early ad free and uncensored. You get access to the archives thousands of episodes of all your favorite GAS shows from the last decade. The live chat, as well as our Friday bonus episode. So thank you so much for tuning in. Boy, did I take a hot one last night. Real, real. It was really nice after taping my special over the weekend. Real nice to be humbled in the bowels of hipster Brooklyn.
JP McDade
Return to Earth.
Zach Amico
Oh boy. I knew it was coming. I knew I was owed one for how good my tapings went. And oh boy did I get. And I just did my stuff I do worked. And oh boy, did they not care for your boy. Shout out to Napoleon, Emmel and Zion DG for booking me at Alphaville.
JP McDade
Oh, I did that show. That's a good show.
Zach Amico
It's a very good show. It is a very good show. They just did. Did not like the shit I was providing.
JP McDade
It's the post special glow.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
JP McDade
The wad is shot.
Zach Amico
Yeah. It was not just a lot of. A lot of stern women who were very upset and then wanted to have a talk with me after the show about my material and explain to me why I shouldn't do jokes about what I do jokes about.
JP McDade
Into the office.
Zach Amico
Yeah, I got called to the office and I wouldn't give it to him. She's like, you were doing good until that those last few jokes you did and you understand why you shouldn't do those. They just murdered at my special.
JP McDade
Love that when they diagram the whole set like, this is where you went wrong. I would have done this. You were sitting down during the show.
Zach Amico
Yes. And oh boy, did they. By the time I got into My impression of a retarded woman. They did not care for your boy, but very fun night regardless, and it's a great show.
JP McDade
So I liked it if you. And if you and Crack went on tour as brothers just to have, like, your parents there. But they're like, two completely normal people in, like, khakis and button downs.
Zach Amico
Like, we should hire actors to be our parents.
JP McDade
So proud of our boys.
Zach Amico
That would be so great. And we. But we got to do a family. Like a. We got to go to, like, a Walmart.
JP McDade
Yes. Get a job.
Zach Amico
Family photo.
Heather May
We can arrange this.
Zach Amico
Oh, yeah.
Heather May
You have a tour manager and myself that play very good parents.
Zach Amico
Yeah, that'll be great.
JP McDade
Guys on the beach. Like, hanging each other as the.
Heather May
We're going to be right at the beach.
Zach Amico
That's perfect. I think we've.
JP McDade
I think in Indiana.
Zach Amico
I think we've got a plan. I. But I want to be, like, dressed like a child.
JP McDade
Yes. Overalls.
Zach Amico
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sailor suit.
JP McDade
Sorry, sir. There's nothing that goes over all that.
Zach Amico
Overalls are one of my dependent. The one. The one thing I know I can still get into. They do make them for. They do make them for men of a certain girth.
JP McDade
It's technically not a onesie. It's like a 1.8 Z.
Zach Amico
It's a threesie. All right, so we had a couple silly stories to look at today. Let's start fun. RFK Jr. Snatches two snakes off Dr. Oz's patio. I gotta tell you, don't agree with the man on many things, but every once in a while he catches me and I go, this son of a bitch.
JP McDade
He's the little boy in the overalls catching toads.
Zach Amico
Yeah, he's just out there having a good time, having abs, working out in jeans with Kid Rock. What do you want out of life?
JP McDade
Fuck.
Zach Amico
It's a garter steak.
JP McDade
It's not venomous.
Zach Amico
He's probably trying desperately to get attention off what Mulaney said about him.
JP McDade
Oh, did he pop off on him again? I didn't. I didn't see that.
Zach Amico
He did a bit in his Netflix as a joke set where he's describing RFK and Cheryl Hines. He's married to the very nice woman from Curb Enthusiasm, and he cheats on her like a dog. And everyone knows a Kennedy cheating. Can you imagine? All right, so let's check out the video. Shannon, However you're supposed to catch snakes, that's not it.
JP McDade
Just reading the body language of the snakes, it seems like they wanted to be left alone.
Zach Amico
Yeah, I don't think you're supposed to hold them by the tail.
Heather May
Supposed to catch them by the head so they can't get around to these
Zach Amico
Kennedies have no life skills. They have no survival instincts.
JP McDade
Well, I'm going to go get in a single prop plane.
Molly Viman
They just look like black racers, though. Like nothing.
Zach Amico
That's what they are.
Molly Viman
Yeah, I used to do that when I was, like, seven.
Zach Amico
I'm not a little closer to the mic coming.
Molly Viman
Okay, Sorry.
JP McDade
Is he trying to act cool about getting bit by a snake? Trying to shrug it off.
Heather May
I mean, it is pretty badass. Yeah, I did try that, and I think part of it right there.
Zach Amico
Yeah. How bad is it? But what kind of snake?
Heather May
Oh, God. Brown in a lake?
Molly Viman
Ish.
Heather May
I don't know. Okay. I don't know.
Zach Amico
Probably a garter snake.
Heather May
Probably.
Zach Amico
Okay.
Heather May
And I was in, like, waders, the whole thing. We were there teaching kids, like, nature, and. And I thought I was going to be real cool and catch the snake the correct way, and I didn't quite make it, and it got me right there.
Zach Amico
Damn.
JP McDade
So you go for the head.
Heather May
Yeah, Right behind. Yeah. I still bragged about it the whole time. It thought I was very cool.
JP McDade
So just discreetly injecting anti venom.
Heather May
Yeah.
JP McDade
Like nothing's wrong.
Heather May
No, that I was quickly told, not poisonous. Not.
JP McDade
That's good. So it wasn't like a water.
Heather May
Could have been an RFK thing, but
Zach Amico
I feel like RFK is trying to prove that snake bites cure autism.
Heather May
I was literally gonna say the same thing.
Zach Amico
We need to harvest the anti venom.
Heather May
Tylenol causes it snake.
Zach Amico
We need to harvest the antivenom. I don't know, man. I want to hate him, but he came here once, and he was the charming. He was so charming. He had. Whatever that Kennedy thing is, dude, that's real. He looks you in the eye and shakes your hand, and you're like, I trust you, and he's a lunatic. I knew he was a lunatic when I shook his hand, and I went, I like them. All right, moving on. This is very interesting to me. Marlon Wayne's defense relationship with Dave Chappelle despite having transgender child Shannon. Which way is which. Which trans. Which transition direction is Marlon Wayne's child AC or dc? Yes.
Shannon (Producer/Researcher)
Let me double check. I believe it's boy to girl. Let me just double check.
Zach Amico
Okay. I feel like for a black guy, having your daughter become a man is almost like a double win, because then
JP McDade
you got a stud just watching hoops.
Zach Amico
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get to ball out and they're so sexy, Studs.
JP McDade
Yeah, just slap boxing with your. With your daughter turned son.
Zach Amico
Yeah, let's just punch her right in the tits. You're gonna have to get rid of those if you want to fight, girl.
JP McDade
Marlon knows something. He knows. He probably knows that Dave on his next special is going to come out as trans.
Zach Amico
Yes.
JP McDade
It's going to be Dove Chappelle Circle.
Zach Amico
It's very possible.
JP McDade
That's why she has been talking about it on the last four or five specials.
Zach Amico
Yeah, she's been dealing with it in her own way.
JP McDade
Dysphoria.
Shannon (Producer/Researcher)
I guessed in completely the wrong direction. I was only two choices, but it was.
Zach Amico
Oh, he got him something.
JP McDade
Look.
Zach Amico
Look how proud he is of his studio.
Molly Viman
Yeah, he just looks cool.
JP McDade
Kind of turned into Jalen Brunson a little bit.
Zach Amico
Yeah. Yeah. So that's a. I hate to be presumptuous and I hope this isn't a stereotype. I feel like for a black guy of that age, that's a much easier sell than the other way around.
Molly Viman
Even for me, it's a much easier sell.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Molly Viman
Like, I think female to male trans people are way more chill. Like by far out of every.
Zach Amico
I feel like judging based on Internet angriness. Yeah.
Molly Viman
But even just in my personal life, I feel like the other way around. It's just. I will always acknowledge a trans woman as a woman because I will call them a woman. But like, at the end of the day, they were a man, so they have something in them that is inherently a little bad. So. So it's a little bit. They're a little fucking crazy.
Zach Amico
I was gonna say. I was gonna say maybe they're literally getting injected with crazy and that could also be part of it.
JP McDade
Look it up.
Zach Amico
We need the anti venom.
Molly Viman
The other way around also takes stuff.
Zach Amico
Yes, it does.
Molly Viman
Testosterone.
Zach Amico
Yes. Of course. I'm not saying one's good and one's.
JP McDade
Everybody's getting stuff cut off. Everyone's getting stuff reattached. The bottom line is we know that we're getting a multi cam sitcom on the WB about this, of course, involving the Wayans family. It's already greenlit.
Molly Viman
I really hope so.
JP McDade
22 episodes.
Zach Amico
Oh, dude, that would be great if it said the Waynes sisters. And then it crosses out even more brothers. Even more Wayne's brother.
Molly Viman
That's what we do.
JP McDade
Keep finding ways to make more Wayans brothers.
Zach Amico
There's nothing I do whiteface. There's nothing funnier.
JP McDade
Please.
Zach Amico
Have you ever seen the compilation videos where they'll ask Studs what's your stud name and then what's your birth name? And you watch them drop the bit for a second and it's. They're so in on it and it's so fucking funny. Shannon, if you could look that up after we do this story. But tell us about it.
Molly Viman
It's like.
Shannon (Producer/Researcher)
So he basically said, I can read the quote. He said, I wouldn't hang with Dave if he was full of hate. I don't hang with people like that. I know Dave's heart. And his intention isn't to punch down. Dave wants to freely tell his jokes. And if you're going to be anti comedy, then he's going to keep attacking you until you learn to have a sense of humor. He's just standing there and defending his front line as a comedian. He also goes on to say that he had a role for him in the next case Scary Movie. He supports like his journey as a four hour monologue. He supports his. His role as a comedian and also supports his child's journey as a trans person. So it's all love.
Zach Amico
Well, there you go. I think there's. Do you think when they cut her tits off, they did the requiem for a dream pan out? I forget that he said that. I get it, man. Support. You can. You can support both.
Molly Viman
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Yeah. I don't think this is a barely news. Right. Is it good? That man is good dad and good friend.
Heather May
Yeah.
JP McDade
As long as the Wayne's kid smokes.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
JP McDade
Fine with Dave Chappelle.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
JP McDade
To or from.
Zach Amico
Yeah. As. As long as they're. I think we got to take it easy on. Let's smoke and be cool again. I feel like it's coming back. Get rid of all these vapes. Get rid of the vapes.
Molly Viman
I know.
Zach Amico
Go back to segs, dude. Fuck it. If you're gonna do it, do it.
JP McDade
Don't have fashion emphysema no more. No more of this popcorn lung. Let's get some real diseases back in the mix.
Zach Amico
I don't. If I'm gonna get cancer, I don't want to get it from cotton candy air.
JP McDade
That's right.
Zach Amico
I'll get it from Sigs. Like a goddamn person. I want to go outside and go, can I borrow a cig as a way to leave a bar as I'm stuck talking to an open micr who's cornered me.
Heather May
Yes. Because doing this for somebody's vape is kind of gay.
Zach Amico
Yeah. I don't think you could borrow another man's vape. Maybe a weed pen is different.
Heather May
Yes.
JP McDade
No. No, my lady. A beautiful woman doesn't squeeze her own vape.
Zach Amico
There's gotta be dudes that hang out outside of bars with vapes just to do that.
JP McDade
Respect.
Zach Amico
I used to keep a light. I've always kept a lighter on me even though I don't smoke.
JP McDade
Something Boomhauer would do.
Zach Amico
Yeah, 100%. I always kept the lighter on me just cause it's a way to interact with people. One time, Yamanika took me to an all Black knight and I was afraid of not making friends. So I went across the street and bought a pack of Newports and threw one in the street and put it in my front pocket.
JP McDade
Just being like, I've gotta have some of their currency with me if I go into their realm, buddy.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Did it work?
Zach Amico
It worked. Yeah. I made a lot of. I got business cards for like eight different barbershops. It was a fun. It went well. That was a fun night.
JP McDade
You had the cleanest edge up of your life.
Zach Amico
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The DJ literally turned the music off when I walked in. He did the. He went, man, what the fuck? Yeah. But he goes, you want to go to a big girl party with me? And I was like, yeah. Then we got in the cab and it just kept going. I was like, where? I know. I was like, are we crossing state?
JP McDade
Did you go past 180?
Zach Amico
I didn't know how far the streets went. And dude, it was fucking. Me and Yamanika were the runts of the litter. The women. There were some of the women there. I couldn't tell if they were furniture. And there was just dudes orbiting them. Every dude there looked like ceelo.
JP McDade
It's a whole solar system.
Zach Amico
Oh, dude. It was what. I've never seen a club with so much seating. They had to have borrowed couches from every other business on the block because none of them matched. And they listen.
JP McDade
When the barbershop closes and the club opens, they move the couch.
Zach Amico
Yes.
JP McDade
Yeah. Have more seating.
Zach Amico
It was. None of the couches match. And I think they went, listen, these girls have about three minutes a piece on their feet. Let's, let's, let's. Let's keep them comfy.
Molly Viman
They're all SS. BBWs.
Zach Amico
Yes. They. There were some biggins.
JP McDade
I went to Yamanika's place one time because I was. I was working with her on like a roast thing and we were writing jokes and like, we went outside because she was smoking a cig. Still a cool person left. And we were up in Harlem and someone was walking by and they were like, Mad that she was talking to me. And they were like, I'm paraphrasing here. But he was like, hey, they don't like fellas. And I was like. I didn't know what to say. I didn't say anything. She said something back, put it in my head. I was like, hey, I like fellas just fine.
Zach Amico
I, for a while dated a goth black chick with like purple dreadlocks and stuff and the bunch of piercings. And every time we walk through Union Square, a black guy would just try and take her. Like, just try and grab, like, I. Like, I did it. Like he was going to grab her and she was going to turn back. We both figure out whatever.
Heather May
This shit only goes one way.
Zach Amico
Yeah. He's like, honey, where you go? He's like, I can save you. Like, he just looked miserable for me.
JP McDade
Once you go, Zach, you never go back.
Zach Amico
That's true.
Heather May
There we go.
Zach Amico
Well, no, now she's gone. She is now in the same realm as Marlon Wayne's daughter.
JP McDade
I see.
Zach Amico
I see I've turned two. Thank you.
Heather May
That's impressive.
Zach Amico
Thank you. I'm starting to think it's me. My drummer from my old band.
JP McDade
You're a portal to another dimension.
Zach Amico
My drummer from my old band and my keyboard player transitioned into women. And my two of the girls I dated in college transitioned into men. I'm starting to think it's me.
Heather May
You're just creating safe spaces.
Zach Amico
I think maybe I'm just very progressive.
JP McDade
I like the symmetry.
Molly Viman
I think you're safe around you, Zach.
Zach Amico
Yeah. And then all the times me and my friend double teamed. Girls. Now that's a great story about me and two beautiful women.
Heather May
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Cause I'm progressive and I'm not gonna dead name them. That was me and two beautiful women. One just had a giant cock that the other girl liked way more than mine.
Heather May
Which women can have giant cocks anytime?
Zach Amico
Yeah, absolutely. That was a humiliating three way.
JP McDade
Every time she got double teamed, it was just you.
Zach Amico
Every time I was on vagina about 30 seconds. And she's like, you guys want to switch back? But then my friend could not maintain rigidity.
JP McDade
Rigidity.
Zach Amico
And so unfortunately, the yin and the yang, unfortunately, she got the backup.
JP McDade
You got promoted for.
Molly Viman
You were the understudy.
Zach Amico
Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was. She was not thrilled. And then she asked both of us if we would sleep over, and we both said no. And then we found out that her sister was having a party, and they stopped the party to listen. And an entire high school class because we were all in college. An entire high school class listen to this girl's sister get double teamed by two fucking weirdo goth guys. Which I can only imagine made its way around school pretty quick.
Molly Viman
Yeah. And they all talked about how she was disappointed.
Zach Amico
Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. Yeah. Another time, that same person that we both took girls back to an apartment and I finished way too fast and the girl angrily smoked and stared at me while we just heard the other girl getting her back blown out. And I could see the like, ah, I should have just fucked him with her. What did I do?
JP McDade
It's like when a basketball player gets into foul trouble early.
Heather May
Yeah.
JP McDade
He's got to go to the bench.
Zach Amico
Oh, she was.
Molly Viman
But it's honestly never too late. Like she could have.
Heather May
Problem solved.
Zach Amico
Oh, we. We wound up. We wound up consolidating.
Molly Viman
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Yeah. We wound up turning it into just the four of us.
Molly Viman
Yeah.
Zach Amico
You know, that's the fun part of being a goth in your. In your early 20s. There are no rules. You know, JP.
JP McDade
Oh, for sure.
Zach Amico
You know. You know, you know about group sex with all your goth friends?
JP McDade
Sure.
Zach Amico
It happens.
JP McDade
It was in high school for me. It was a group of one. Let me tell you, less than group sex.
Zach Amico
Technically, any sex with me is group sex.
JP McDade
There wasn't even a pair.
Zach Amico
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Shannon (Producer/Researcher)
Okay, so it's a. The title is a little bit clickbaity because they were. No, it's not your fault, though. They did it. But. So people are concerned because they're so close together, but they're currently saying that there isn't a tie between, like, how the three were killed. But they. They were all in their mid-30s and had tattoos and were discovered within the space of 11 days.
Zach Amico
And all stripped.
Shannon (Producer/Researcher)
No. So one. The most recent one was found, and it said she was missing a shoe, but she was wearing, like, stretchy shorts and a black shirt. Yeah.
Zach Amico
So this just sounds like Consequences of Mexico.
Molly Viman
Yeah, or they aren't.
JP McDade
Like Frog himself is a serial killer. Goes all the way to the top.
Heather May
I suspected that Frog a long time. All that free tequila. Come on.
Zach Amico
There's gotta. Yeah, there's gotta. There's got to be ulterior motives there. And they. They don't. Were they all killed differently?
Shannon (Producer/Researcher)
So they're. It seems like, because they're investigating. Like they're holding on to the details very tightly right now. But they were all in this same, like, town, I guess. Jalisco. And. Yeah, within the 11 days. One of them, they think might be this missing girl who's 22. I could show you her missing, but they haven't. They haven't confirmed any of the identities yet. Not publicly.
Zach Amico
I bet we got a serial killer. Isn't the most prolific serial killer from Mexico.
Shannon (Producer/Researcher)
Let me see.
Zach Amico
I believe. I believe the person that has the record was Albert Fish.
JP McDade
And it's a translation of Albert Pescato.
Zach Amico
I believe the hot. Because a lot of the people that have the highest numbers are bullshit.
JP McDade
Juan Wayne Gacy.
Zach Amico
Yeah. I mean, he did kill construction workers. He did kill day laborers.
Shannon (Producer/Researcher)
The most prolific serial killer is from Colombia.
Zach Amico
Colombia. Okay. And is that the. Were they like, a war? What was their deal? Was a warlord.
Shannon (Producer/Researcher)
His name is Luis Garavito, and he confessed to torturing and murdering at least 193, but potentially over 300 children and teenagers in the 1990s.
Zach Amico
Yep. That'll do it.
Molly Viman
Did he say why?
Heather May
I thought that was inflated.
JP McDade
Yeah, so they wouldn't stop playing with those damn Tamagotchis.
Zach Amico
I know Henry Lee Lucas gets a high body count, but he was just bullshitting. Yeah, because they would give him special privileges. Yeah, like he would get strawberry milkshakes every day if he Admitted to murders.
Molly Viman
Yeah.
Heather May
Definitely inflated some of his.
Zach Amico
Yes. And I know because Henry Lucas, basically, a lot of cops were using him to wrap up missing person cases that they didn't want to actually investigate. So they would call him. He got to answer the phone on his own hotline. Like, he would just be sitting there.
JP McDade
Hey, that's Kleiner in his cell.
Zach Amico
Oh, no.
JP McDade
He had, like, station.
Zach Amico
They would keep giving him shit for everything he admitted to. So he just gets fat in prison and is admitting to. Like, they'll take. And they'll be like, you did this. Right. And then he'll take him to the wrong spot.
JP McDade
Depends if there's some lasagna in it for me.
Zach Amico
Then maybe they'll. He'll take him to the wrong spot, and they'll be like, I think you meant here. And it'll be like, yep, that's when I did it.
Molly Viman
They didn't even feed the West Memphis Three like that when they were making him. Them admit to.
Zach Amico
Well, one of them was. It was the special needs.
Molly Viman
But they should have at least been feeding him if they were going to trick him like that.
Zach Amico
I mean, why wait? I mean, if he's already.
Heather May
They didn't.
Zach Amico
If you're gonna.
Heather May
You don't gotta go the extra mile.
Zach Amico
Yeah. What's the point?
JP McDade
Like, at least give the kids candy.
Molly Viman
Yeah, yeah. They, like, we're just tricking a kid and you didn't even give him any food.
Zach Amico
Yeah, I guess it would have been that.
Molly Viman
So that they get more time off, because that's why they're doing it. They're just like, yeah, I don't want to work. I just want to get this person guilty.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Molly Viman
And I don't have to look into anyone else.
Zach Amico
I feel like that was a hit job from the beginning, though, because they wanted Damian Echols out of that town, period. I don't know how you feel. Are you familiar with West Memphis Three?
JP McDade
No.
Molly Viman
It's alternative oppression.
Zach Amico
So we could. On Friday's episode, we go into a deep dive on Uncle Eddie Savitz, the most notorious prolific pedophile in Philadelphia history. So this will be a fun one.
Molly Viman
Calling a pedophile prolific.
JP McDade
Prolific.
Heather May
I don't know how that was Epstein.
Zach Amico
Oh, dude. Eddie Savage, when he got arrested the
JP McDade
last time, he influenced all other pedophiles after that.
Zach Amico
Dude. 180 trash bags full of used boys, underwear and socks.
JP McDade
Oh, Hefty bags.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
JP McDade
Xls. Oh, no.
Zach Amico
Yeah. And the more you dig into it, you realize he was part of a boys and girls program where he worked With Jerry Sandusky.
JP McDade
Damn.
Zach Amico
And then you start to unravel.
JP McDade
They formed a super group. Yeah, they really were prolific together.
Zach Amico
Yeah, See? Yeah. They were like Wings, the Dirty Mac. I think he died in the early 90s.
Molly Viman
Oh, okay. So, yeah, kind of.
Zach Amico
Yeah. And he was like. He was like, it goes up high in the government because they were running, like, boys and girls clubs and specifically, like, delivering kids.
Heather May
And they didn't kill these kids.
Zach Amico
No.
JP McDade
Like the Franklin Mint, something like that. Franklin scandal.
Zach Amico
Yeah. Yeah. They know. They were just the boys and, like,
Heather May
the scouts of the Boys and girls club. They walking around, send out traumatized.
Zach Amico
They would send out. So they would basically get one or two kids in a financial relationship and then have them pyramid scheme. Other kids in.
Heather May
It did pave the way for Epstein.
Zach Amico
Exactly. It's 100% exactly the model. Yeah. We go deep into it on Friday, so I don't want to spoil it, but let's tell JP a little bit. So the West, West Memphis 3 was Damien Echols, who's like, this weirdo goth kid, and his two friends get arrested for the murder of three young boys who are found.
Molly Viman
Oh, they're teenagers.
Zach Amico
Yeah, they're teenagers. And the town immediately goes into a satanic panic saying it was a ritual sacrifice
Molly Viman
and, oh, my God, Damian's so hot.
Zach Amico
And that these were satanic murders. One of these boys is mentally challenged, and that's the one they got to. And that's the evidence they used was his confession.
JP McDade
Yeah.
Molly Viman
One of the little kids, like, dicks were cut off, like, and they were just by the river.
Zach Amico
Yes.
Molly Viman
And so because these kids were, like, wearing black and, like, listening to Metallica, they were, like, targeted, even though it's not like it was some puritanical little town. It was like, smackdown. Everyone's on method and, like, the documentaries are amazing because the people are.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Molly Viman
Fucking crazy.
Zach Amico
There's three documentaries.
Molly Viman
Paradise Lost. One, two, and three.
Zach Amico
Yes. And then. So then a bunch of musicians wound up raising a bunch of money for their defense fund.
Shannon (Producer/Researcher)
Yeah.
Molly Viman
Because they were going to. They were on death row. One of them was on.
Zach Amico
I think Damien was.
Molly Viman
Yeah, they were going to. Yeah.
Zach Amico
And the more you get it, it's three long docs, and each one, they come out with one or two things where you're like, ah, fuck.
Molly Viman
Yeah.
Zach Amico
The.
Molly Viman
The Dixie Chucks stood up.
Zach Amico
Yes.
Molly Viman
Johnny Depp stood up.
Zach Amico
Yes, he did. Trying to think that's a great group of people to have.
JP McDade
Yeah. So does it appear like they were not guilty or.
Zach Amico
It's almost impossible that they Were there?
JP McDade
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Like they. There is no evidence tying them to it except some circumstantial shit, I believe. Also a lot of the wounds on the kids could have been animals because they were left out in a swamp as well as. Isn't the one kid. So spoiler. The one kid's stepfather was a fucking weirdo. Freak is a bizarro, man.
JP McDade
You're telling me those three kids had a weird stepdad involved? I don't believe it.
Zach Amico
And one of the things that they're using in the case is that these kids, the bodies had human bite marks on them. Their step. The one stepdad got all his teeth removed after.
JP McDade
Yeah, that's a tough one.
Zach Amico
That's. I don't know.
Molly Viman
The parents are all, every single one of them of the victims. Their parents are insane. Like, one of them is like praying that the boys, the teenagers get raped in prison and in hell. Like this is all being documentary.
Zach Amico
And then eventually one of the stepdads gives the filmmakers as a present a folding knife and they take it back and open it up and it's covered in human blood. And people are still going, I think these kids did it.
JP McDade
He gave the filmmaker that Marilyn Manson,
Zach Amico
very likely the murder weapon. And people like, nah, I still think it's the kid with the long black hair.
Molly Viman
Yeah. It's an amazing documentary.
Zach Amico
Yeah. If you want to get. If you really want to. My. How did you feel about the Staircase?
Molly Viman
Are you guys the wife that was the Staircase.
Heather May
Peterson.
Zach Amico
Yes.
Heather May
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Heather May
It's been a while.
Molly Viman
It's been a while since I've seen it too. That's why I'm.
Zach Amico
I watched it on DV when Netflix was still DVDs.
Molly Viman
Yeah.
Zach Amico
I watched the first 10 episode doc.
Heather May
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Then they did the. It was Toni Collette in the.
Molly Viman
It's the hbo.
Zach Amico
In the HBO one. And I gotta tell you, I love her. One of the most unexpected but realistic ass eating scenes in media history. Cause they just cut to her bent over the kitchen counter and he's in there.
Heather May
It's on Max now, would you say?
Zach Amico
I believe so. Okay.
JP McDade
But great timestamp on that. Yeah.
Zach Amico
Great piece of business. And they go over all the different, like, ways it could have happened.
Molly Viman
Yeah.
JP McDade
Rashomon type of. Everyone has a different story.
Zach Amico
Yeah. And they act out each one.
Shannon (Producer/Researcher)
It's on Netflix, by the way.
Zach Amico
Oh, thank you.
Molly Viman
Thank you.
JP McDade
The documentary is.
Zach Amico
Yeah, the, the, the. The original 10 episode.
JP McDade
Yeah.
Molly Viman
The Tony Collette.
Zach Amico
Yeah. It's still called the Staircase.
Heather May
Okay.
JP McDade
I remember from, from the documentary. The, the guy's 911 call because they say he's an actor. He took acting classes at least. And his 911 calls like, oh, no, my woman, my love, she's dead. It was the most rehearsed sounding.
Zach Amico
It's horrible.
Molly Viman
And isn't there like an owl thing? They're like an owl.
Zach Amico
They get into that after the first documentary.
Molly Viman
Yeah.
Zach Amico
So first of all, what's great about it is they do a very good job of convincing you he's innocent and then giving you information where you're like, fuck. And then convincing you he's innocent and then dropping another thing. So first thing, they find a ton of military themed gay porn on his computer. And he was a famous.
JP McDade
Sure.
Zach Amico
He wrote military fiction.
JP McDade
You thought the original Major Pain was funny.
Zach Amico
Well, look what it did to one of the Waynes.
JP McDade
That's right.
Zach Amico
So you find out immediately, he has boyfriends for years. He has this huge collection of military themed gay porn. And he says, well, me and my wife had an arrangement. She knew I was bisexual. And, you know. All right.
Molly Viman
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And then at about a halfway point, they go, oh, he was married before, but she died. And they go, oh, how? And they go, she was found dead at the bottom of a staircase. And his lawyer goes, you gotta tell us that. Like, buddy, you gotta.
JP McDade
I didn't think it would come up.
Zach Amico
You gotta let. So then they had to go to Germany and dig her up to do a new autopsy. And it's a beautiful piece of business. I love. They film everything, both sides. And the defense's reason for it was they said that they were so convinced he was innocent that they thought it was a proof that if they showed everything. Yeah, but all it is, the lawyer is just being like, you fucked us, dude. And at one point he's got to testify. And they start. They go, all right, first things first, we got to trim your eyebrows because you look fucking crazy.
Heather May
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Also, we're going to give you half of a Valium, because when you get up there, you start talking too fast and you find out, like, how, like, they do mock trials at his house.
Heather May
Yep.
Zach Amico
But yes, then the owl thing comes out after the first set of duck and he gets. What does he get? Convicted or not? Then they find out she had owl feathers in her hair. And some of the wounds on her head that they had thought were a fire poker may have been owl claws. And she was hammered and may have actually, it is very possible, was attacked by an owl. Which makes it way funnier.
Molly Viman
Yes.
Zach Amico
Because then they have to act that Out. And after watching this woman be brutally murdered a few times, now it's just owl attack.
JP McDade
The actor who plays the husband plays the owl.
Heather May
It's like Owen.
Zach Amico
Yeah. He comes in in a full owl suit. How many stabs does it take to kill a woman? A one, a two? Slit your throat? Three. Three stabs. Okay. Ohio woman charged over wild kindergarten graduation brawl. Denies being aggressor.
Heather May
Man.
Zach Amico
Let's be the judge of that video, please.
Shannon (Producer/Researcher)
So just before I show it to you, the only information that I have as to like, what led to this is apparently it's a. An argument over the seating arrangement. So I think one of them was just trying to like, guard a whole bunch of seats for their family. And then an argument started because.
Zach Amico
Good, good, good.
JP McDade
The ceremony was over.
Shannon (Producer/Researcher)
Is this girl in the pink that they charged?
Zach Amico
Oh, okay. Oh, she wore her nicest heart pajamas.
Molly Viman
She looks like she's wearing a diaper too. It's in a gymnasium. It's so big.
JP McDade
Like, how many kids are in this kindergarten class?
Zach Amico
Yeah. Where could. You know what? I bet every seat's a good seat at that kindergarten graduation.
Molly Viman
Here.
Zach Amico
Yeah. You can't get a bad seat. There's no obstructed view.
Heather May
As an ex early childhood teacher.
Zach Amico
I'm listening.
Heather May
Could 100% see this playing out.
Zach Amico
Is it that they think if they're in the front, it means they optically look like better parents?
Heather May
Oftentimes I didn't see any balloons or like flowers, but you often will see a lot of that. It's the best day to show up.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Heather May
You always put your best foot forward to start.
JP McDade
Put your good pajamas on.
Zach Amico
Yeah, yeah. The nice heart pajamas with fuzzy boots.
Heather May
Yes, yes, absolutely.
Molly Viman
She's a diva.
Heather May
But I couldn't. I need slow mo. Because I couldn't tell.
Zach Amico
Yeah, let's. I mean, let's throw it around the horn again. I love a brawl.
Heather May
Okay, there's a pink.
Molly Viman
Where are the children?
Zach Amico
So she's not.
Heather May
Definitely didn't start.
Molly Viman
There's a balloon. There's a balloon.
Zach Amico
And now she's dragging this woman away. Pajamas is now involved.
Heather May
She had to take an ass beating and the responsibility.
Molly Viman
And is that a black man on the ground
Zach Amico
in the back?
Molly Viman
Yeah, like the. The person in the beginning that's like on the ground, I think. I can't tell.
Zach Amico
Let's try. Let's see one more time.
JP McDade
Listen. If it.
Zach Amico
That would appear to buy the shoes to be a gentleman.
Molly Viman
Yeah.
JP McDade
If they didn't want them brawling, they shouldn't have put out folding Chairs.
Zach Amico
It would look like. Yeah, that is it. They should have had the tables and ladders, too.
JP McDade
Throw some, like, those fluorescent lights.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
JP McDade
In there.
Molly Viman
I want to, like, a gym, you
Heather May
know, they have bleachers. Just move the set. Like, the kids don't have to be on the stage.
Molly Viman
I really.
Heather May
These are the things I would have. Problem solved.
Molly Viman
I want to, like, zoom in and see if there's a kid peeking through the curtain.
JP McDade
Like, scared little cap on.
Molly Viman
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Now, can I ask you a question, as a former teacher? Do parents come drunk to, like this?
Heather May
I never had any experiences where. Oh, more like I taught special ed.
Zach Amico
Okay.
Heather May
And then became an admission.
Zach Amico
So they were just drunk when they were pregnant.
Heather May
So. Yes. Also at pickup sometimes. Like, there was one time where I had to, like, intervene to make sure a kid did not go home with that parent. And occasionally for case conferences.
Zach Amico
Okay.
Heather May
Or they would call in instead of come to the conference because of, like, a known drinking problem.
Zach Amico
Okay. So because I. I only. Growing up, one of the kids I went to high school with, dad got caught hammered at a football game, and he got banned.
Molly Viman
I feel like that's normal at a football game.
Zach Amico
At a kid's football game.
Molly Viman
High school football is, like, serious.
Heather May
He probably had to do something, like,
Zach Amico
I think, or the police would have had to determine if you're a grown. I think. Yeah. He was, like, fighting with people, and they got caught having whiskey on him. I think. I think if you're a grown man getting loaded at a high school football game, it's a real issue.
Heather May
Pounds on which town?
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Heather May
Take it real.
Molly Viman
My hometown. Sounds like. I feel like that would just happen. Like, a lot of people.
JP McDade
It depends on how good of a high school football player you were.
Zach Amico
Oh, yeah, you gotta revisit.
Molly Viman
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And then another. I went to school with one. My one friend had a move because his dad got drunk and walked on. Saw his son getting beat up and walked and just fucking fucked the kid up. They were gone. Quick shout out to the Yamanashis.
JP McDade
That's kind of nice.
Zach Amico
So a kid was beating the shit out of his kid. Yeah. Yeah. I think he broke his arm.
Molly Viman
Oh, my dad beat up a kid because he stole my brother's bike. And so he just got in his truck and started looking for the guy on the bike. And he just got out and, like, ran up to him while he was biking and shoved him into the woods and grabbed the bike and threw in the truck, and then came back and started, like, I guess kicking the kid, like, more into the woods and Just shoved him.
Heather May
I think that would have been.
Molly Viman
Well, I think because the punishment would
JP McDade
have fit the crime.
Molly Viman
Well, you know, to let that one go. I don't have a normal. But then I remember the kid's dad came over. And then my dad and his dad had a fight in, like, our front yard.
Zach Amico
Who won?
Molly Viman
My dad.
Zach Amico
Nice.
Molly Viman
Yeah.
Zach Amico
So he's undefeated for the day.
Molly Viman
Yeah. I mean, it was just that guy's turn. I had my turn. Everyone had a turn.
Zach Amico
It would suck to get your. Get your whole family gets beat up by one guy in a day.
Molly Viman
We never had to move, though. And I honestly don't remember it being that big of a deal.
Heather May
No police.
Zach Amico
No.
Heather May
Yeah. Just had to take an ass feeding from the other dad.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Heather May
Honestly, that's.
Zach Amico
I think that's fair.
Heather May
That's kind of a good turnout.
Zach Amico
Yeah, I. I'm not a litigious person. I think we can still square. I think if it's a fair one. There's nothing wrong with that. Yes. I was so growing up, every once in a while, my wrestling coach, if there was going to be. He was the gym teacher. And if there was going to be something he was a proponent of. We will lock you two in the wrestling room. It's padded. You can't get. You're not going to land on concrete. You're not going to, you know, you're not going to hit a wall. Everything's padded. And you two go in there and you come out when it's done.
Heather May
That's how men do things.
Zach Amico
And I think that maybe we could use a little more of that. I don't know. How about you guys feel I rather
JP McDade
do that than go through the courts?
Zach Amico
100%.
Heather May
Yeah.
JP McDade
I'll put on a little singlet, some headgear.
Molly Viman
I don't even know how to sue someone. I don't think I believe in suing anyone, but I don't even think I would know how if I did believe in it.
Zach Amico
You got to get a lawyer.
Molly Viman
But, like, that sounds like so much.
Zach Amico
Yeah, it does sound like I rather just settle it.
JP McDade
It's ultimately just a really intense delivery of papers.
Molly Viman
Yeah. I feel like I just take the L on pretty much anything. Like, the NYPD stole my car recently, and I'm just like, okay, I would give up.
Zach Amico
When you say stole your car. They repossessed.
Molly Viman
They illegally towed it.
Zach Amico
Okay.
Molly Viman
And then they were like, we're selling it. Because I didn't know that they had towed it.
Zach Amico
Because you weren't keeping track of your vehicle.
Molly Viman
Yeah. But they Illegal. Like, they had no grounds. Like, they made up a reason to tow my car that was parked very illegally.
Zach Amico
Okay.
Molly Viman
They took it and then they tried.
JP McDade
Is your car black?
Molly Viman
No, it's white. It's a white Corolla.
JP McDade
Well, now I don't even know what the reason now.
Molly Viman
It's not a car because it doesn't exist to me anymore. But I'm just like, well, it's kind of easier to not have a car here.
Zach Amico
How long did it take you to notice your car was missing?
Molly Viman
Like, two weeks because of the blizzard. It was during the blizzard.
Zach Amico
Okay.
JP McDade
I couldn't even find it. It's a white car.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Molly Viman
It's gonna be fine. Like, it's out there. And. Yeah, not great. Do I have some fault in the story? Sure. But, like, it was more like, I definitely could.
Heather May
Responsibility to notify you.
Molly Viman
I could sue, definitely, but there's no way. I just don't have that fight in me.
Zach Amico
It would. It seems like an uphill battle unless you had a really powerful team behind you.
Molly Viman
Well, when I went to the lot to go get stuff out of my car because they wouldn't let me take my car either. As a whole thing. The. The cop that drove me to my car was like, you should definitely sue us.
JP McDade
But if you sue for a reasonable figure, I think you can win. I think they'll just settle. If it's not like a crazy amount
Heather May
of money, I think sue the tow company. And they're. They're prepared for that. They just like.
Zach Amico
Yeah. They have insurance for that, I would assume.
Molly Viman
Yeah, we'll see.
Zach Amico
I. I encourage you to. To. To look into your options or have someone do it for you.
Molly Viman
Yeah, okay. That sounds better.
JP McDade
Just show up at your nearest police precincts.
Heather May
I'll look up New York law. I. I looked up Florida law very deeply.
Molly Viman
My Florida.
JP McDade
There's Florida law.
Heather May
Yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
Believe it or not.
Heather May
Especially for elder elderly people.
JP McDade
Oh, yeah.
Heather May
A tow company took advantage of my boyfriend's parents, like, right on their deathbed,
JP McDade
and damn, they took a jet scooter.
Heather May
They sold a 35. Actually, they didn't even sell it. They acquired a $35,000 Jeep because nobody showed up to the auction.
JP McDade
Wow.
Heather May
And they did not do everything by the book, 100%. But basically, in the end, we found out we weren't going to get anywhere, so we did eventually give up.
Molly Viman
But, yeah, Florida sounds like crazy.
Heather May
You have much more of a case.
Molly Viman
I think I do. I think I just don't care. I'm like, I learned a lesson and I'LL move on.
Zach Amico
Yeah. Car. You learned a car's worth of a lesson.
Molly Viman
Yes.
Zach Amico
I think that's fair and like a
Molly Viman
lot of money, but like, it's fine.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Molly Viman
A car's worth of money, but money is not real. That's how I feel. It comes as fast as about parking
Heather May
it and where she can park.
Molly Viman
Yeah. Like, I'm actually kind of saving money by not having a car.
Zach Amico
100, you know, so I. I agree with you wholeheartedly.
Molly Viman
Thank you.
Zach Amico
I wonder how fun it is to go to police auctions.
JP McDade
It seem awesome.
Zach Amico
It does seem really.
Molly Viman
It's not like the insurance companies, when they repossess, they try to get the most that they can. The cop car. Like the NYPD to lot, they're just trying to sell it for anything. So you could get a car for very cheap.
Zach Amico
That would be sick. I want a car with bolt holes in it.
Molly Viman
Yeah, I'm sure.
Zach Amico
I want something done in a horrible crime. That would be fun.
Heather May
Good backstory.
Zach Amico
Yeah, I want something. I want something. I want something up to happen in that car. You know, Haunted car, like Christine. That would be sick. I. I have a friend that goes to auctions after trials and buys pieces of serial killers houses.
Molly Viman
Whoa.
Zach Amico
She goes with John Waters. What?
Molly Viman
They don't just have estate sales.
Zach Amico
It's a bit different. It's stuff that was used in the trial. So she has the pulleys from Ed Gein's apartment. From Ed Gein's farm. Excuse me.
Heather May
That's very controversial that that stuff was sold.
Zach Amico
Yes. She has the numbers off of Dahmer's door.
Molly Viman
Oh, my God.
Zach Amico
She has a bunch of cool shit.
Molly Viman
I think that's cool. Like some people collect Nazi shit. Yeah, that's, to me, way weirder.
JP McDade
Charles Manson is a nice combination of the two.
Molly Viman
Yeah.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
JP McDade
Scratch all those itches with one.
Molly Viman
You have a good point.
JP McDade
This Nazi shit used to belong to Charles Manson.
Zach Amico
Yeah. Lemmy from Motorhead. His entire wall in his apartment was SS Knives. And it's not great optically, but he just. I think he just like Knives.
JP McDade
Hey, man, I need to spread some jam on my toast.
Molly Viman
Yeah, but see, whoever gets that, like, it's almost like less weird because it was Lemmy's if you buy. You know what I mean?
Zach Amico
Pretty cool.
Molly Viman
If you're a fan of Lemmy, you're like, sure, but Lemmy's weird as fuck for having that.
Zach Amico
Yeah. But he also spent his whole life playing video poker. Broke. Oh, yeah, that's his wall.
Heather May
Oh, my.
Zach Amico
He had a few. He had he had a few.
JP McDade
I guess you could look at it as, like, they were taken off of German soldiers. They're like trophies of war.
Zach Amico
I could. I could see using that as justification, especially would he be of the age? He was probably very little.
JP McDade
He's English. Right. They didn't care for the Nazis.
Zach Amico
He probably might have been a very young kid getting bombed. Didn't Ozzy have memories of World War II blitz?
JP McDade
Was he that old?
Zach Amico
So that might almost be like.
JP McDade
He might have been shipped off.
Zach Amico
That might feel cool, like taking it back.
Molly Viman
Yeah.
JP McDade
They got all the kids out of London. They shipped them off to the countryside. So the adults stayed in the. In the underground tubes.
Zach Amico
Okay, Bombed. There we go. To me, that would make sense. Lemmy's also spent his entire life in front of a video poker machine.
JP McDade
Respect.
Zach Amico
He lived by a bar and he would just go sit and play video poker. All that. Like, he had. No.
Heather May
That does something to a person.
Zach Amico
Shit to do. That was his thing. All day. Every. Like. I think they saved his seat now at that bar.
JP McDade
I would've loved to know his system.
Zach Amico
Yeah. If I wasn't good,
Molly Viman
if I had money, I would own a slot machine and do the same thing all day.
Zach Amico
Well, he didn't own it. He was putting his money into. He put so much in. He could have just got the slot machine in the house and played for his money, but instead he spent all day playing video poker. Just.
Heather May
You don't get the same dopamine from that.
Zach Amico
I remember I listened to an interview with somebody that managed him at one point and how he was always broke and he couldn't. They're like, let me. You had one hit and you've been touring for 40 years. But I do believe he wrote Mama, I'm Coming Home for Ozzy and Kiss
JP McDade
from a Rose for Seal.
Zach Amico
Very, very, very obscure fact.
JP McDade
That was.
Zach Amico
Lemme. Shannon, could you. Somebody wrote Mama, I'm Coming Home for Ozzy, and I want to say it might be Lemmy.
JP McDade
I mean, it's a. It's a nice way for a sober person to support the bar that they're going to.
Zach Amico
Yes, well, he was not.
JP McDade
He was not at all.
Zach Amico
He though. He was.
Heather May
He was double supporting.
JP McDade
Yeah, he was playing that game with the Nazi knife, jamming it between his fingers on the bar.
Shannon (Producer/Researcher)
It says it was a co. Written by Ozzy, Zakk Wilde and Lemmy.
Zach Amico
Yep, there we go. Yeah. No, he was pouring money into. Didn't speak. There's a story of Lemmy that James Gunn told the guy who made Guardians and the new Superman. He started out in indie movies in the company I work for. And they took Lemmy to a strip club after the shoot for the day. And they said they were just sitting down. And Lemmy runs at them and was like, we have to go home. And they're like, what? He goes, we're have to go fucking home. He spit his teeth out at a stripper by accident. His polynet gave out and he accidentally spit his dentures in a stripper's face while he was getting a lap dance.
Heather May
He had security on him so fast.
JP McDade
And what, just for tipping?
Zach Amico
Yeah. So James Gunn told that story on the Adam Carolla show. And I was interning at Troma at the time. And Lemmy people called Troma and they're like, we need James Gunn's address. And they're like, why? Because we're sending people to beat the shit out of him for television.
Heather May
Not like a C. We're sending a C synthesis.
Zach Amico
Yeah, we're sending a bunch of, like, British thugs.
Heather May
I think that would be much more
Zach Amico
effective to go get out of them. And so that Troma had to make a tribute to Lemmy video in exchange that he would not do that
Molly Viman
fair trade.
Zach Amico
That was just a regular thing I had to deal with. That was a day in that office. He was the man, though. He did our movies for a bottle of Maker's Mark.
Molly Viman
Hell, yeah.
Zach Amico
That was all he asked for was bottle of Maker's Mark. And then you brought some. Some of the girls from the set would come hang out. He didn't touch them. He didn't do anything. He just liked having girls in the room. Very respectful and just loaded. Can't understand a goddamn word he says in the movie. We had to put subtitles over him. But God bless President Lemmy.
JP McDade
His teeth are still at the Spearmint Rhino. That's made him even more hard to understand.
Zach Amico
Hey, guys. Today's episode is brought to you by our great friends@ycratom.com home of the $60 kilo. That's right. Stop going to smoke shops, bodegas, or gas stations and getting a little bit of Kratom at a time. And you don't even know what's in there. When you go to yocratum.com today. They have the best streams of the best customer service. And they're the marquee sponsor of everything we do here at Gas. If you don't use Kratom, don't start on my account. But if you use Kratom for one of its many, many Benefits. There's only one place in the world and there's no promo code needed. Why? It's already the best deal in the world to kratom. 60 bucks for a whole kilo delivered right to your gosh darn door. So check them out today, guys. Yocratum.com Home of the $60 kilo. All right, let's get back into the program. Here's a fun one. Dog born with second penis, undergoes surgery for ultra rare birth defect.
JP McDade
Shannon to add a third.
Shannon (Producer/Researcher)
So the pictures are a little blurred, but you'll kind of get it on the show too.
JP McDade
I hope.
Zach Amico
A back penis.
Shannon (Producer/Researcher)
Yeah, it was kind of like attached to his leg and his leg was also deformed. It's like fused at the joint and then there's a. Another angle of it.
Zach Amico
Oh, it's hard.
Heather May
Does it still have a redst?
Molly Viman
Oh, I want the uncensored. What is this, Japan?
JP McDade
I'm good.
Zach Amico
Yeah. Now if it was Japan, that would be lunch.
Molly Viman
Yeah.
Zach Amico
And they, they got it, Shannon. They took care of this poor pup. Did they get rid of the deformed leg?
Shannon (Producer/Researcher)
They didn't get rid of it, no, they. They fixed it. I guess they fixed his leg and it helped the quality of his life. And they said that the other penis was non functioning anyway, so it would have jeopardized his health.
Zach Amico
You know, people always talk about dog dicks and dog balls. As far as something you see, sometimes people don't note that some dogs have really sloppy vaginas.
Molly Viman
Oh, my dog had a fat pussy when she went into heat. But I got her fixed.
Zach Amico
Okay.
Molly Viman
But it was like shocking because she's so small. It was like taking up half her size. Like, it was.
Zach Amico
My friend had a pit bull. You could just see a girl pit bull and when she was in heat, she had to wear a diaper.
Heather May
Oh, yeah.
Zach Amico
Because she would just fucking wreck the joint with fucking. Yeah, Grossness.
Molly Viman
Yeah.
Zach Amico
This thing had like lips on it.
Shannon (Producer/Researcher)
Yeah.
Zach Amico
It was like, it was notable for from a distance.
Molly Viman
But like, this is why girl dogs are better because boy dogs like girl dogs. Their are like away. Like if you're. If you're rubbing a dog's belly, you're also giving it a hand job when it's a guy. And I hate that.
Zach Amico
I think you're rubbing too low.
Molly Viman
It's like in the middle of their belly.
Zach Amico
I think you can avoid it.
Molly Viman
You can, but like if you're like talking to someone and you're like, ah,
Zach Amico
I jerked off the dog. Hold on. I jerked off the dog.
Molly Viman
Again, it just feels really cr. Crazy.
Zach Amico
I was on the phone, like, why
Molly Viman
isn't it further down? Like the are on a dog.
Zach Amico
Probably for access.
Heather May
The mounting.
Molly Viman
I just. I think I don't like boy dogs for that reason.
Heather May
One too many red rockets and they
Molly Viman
open up inside and you have to wait until it goes down to separate dogs. Because my dog got raped in front of me and I tried to separate.
JP McDade
Oh.
Molly Viman
And it was not a thing.
Zach Amico
Were they stuck butt to butt?
Molly Viman
Yes. Because they tried to run away.
Heather May
Oh God.
Zach Amico
Wow. Like a Chinese finger trap.
Molly Viman
It was.
JP McDade
It's a rough one.
Zach Amico
I have a. There's nothing funnier to me. The idea of a big dog and a little dog having sex. But then sometimes you see the result of it and it does look like God's mistake.
Molly Viman
Oh, like the pit bull dachshunds.
Zach Amico
Yeah. Because then you think like, oh God, I hope this was done artificially.
Molly Viman
And I don't think it is.
Zach Amico
No. I think it just happens out there.
JP McDade
Yeah. Min pins are the spawn of Satan. Yeah. They're not supposed to exist. Very evil looking little dogs.
Zach Amico
Do you think dogs know not to be attracted to dogs based on like breed or they just. That's a dog. I'll fuck it.
JP McDade
I don't think they think about it
Zach Amico
too deeply because like would a wolf. A bulldog?
JP McDade
Probably.
Heather May
Probably.
Molly Viman
I don't know. I actually don't know. I don't think so.
Zach Amico
For the sake of science, can we find out?
Molly Viman
I don't think it'd. Because of a lack of attraction. I think it would be like, you're behaving different than I do, so we might not be the same. Like a bulldog's not gonna ask. Yeah, yeah.
Zach Amico
It would be funny, the idea of a wolf fucking a bulldog, but then like trying to sneak her out the back and not let the other wolves see in the morning. I'm sorry, man.
JP McDade
I had to jump on the grenade last night.
Zach Amico
I had some fermented grapes.
JP McDade
I'm still the alpha, right?
Zach Amico
Yes. Dogs are readily mate with how they breathe. Since all domestic dogs belong to the same species, Canis lupus, they are biologically capable of interbreeding. Because dogs do not recognize breed distinctions, they their mating choices are driven by instinct rather than pedigree. Bring it down.
Heather May
The other dog's not a dumbass.
Zach Amico
Yeah, bring it down. Let's read a little more.
JP McDade
Let's talk about personalities more than anything else.
Zach Amico
Dogs share the same genetic framework. They could successfully reproduce, create healthy, viable mixed breed puppies. Dogs do not understand or care about breed standards. So they don't see race, they don't
Molly Viman
see color, they don't see breed.
Zach Amico
They only recognize the scent and behavioral cues of a potential mate. Oh. Obviously things have size differences. While a small male can technically impregnate a large female, extreme size disparities, such as a Chihuahua and a Great Dane. Now I'm just picturing Scooby Doo and the Taco Bell dog.
Molly Viman
Right.
Zach Amico
Often make natural mating physically impossible or unsafe. A female must be in heat to be receptive to a male. However, intact males pursue any female in heat, regardless of her breed. If a very large male mates with a much smaller female, it can be dangerous for potentially leading to injuries during the tie when the dogs are temporarily locked together or complications with the prey. Does that mean the puppies are too big to be inner?
Heather May
Maybe that can be because a lot
Molly Viman
of dogs die from giving birth. Birth. I think that's like a common thing.
Zach Amico
Man, you are sunshine in a bag, aren't you?
Molly Viman
But you can get a dog abortion.
Zach Amico
I'm sure you can.
Molly Viman
Yeah. Because my friend's big ass pit bull.
Heather May
They didn't overturn that one.
Zach Amico
No, it's still legal, thank God.
Molly Viman
But they're only pregnant for like two months.
Zach Amico
Oh, so you got to do it quick. Yeah, yeah, you gotta do it real quick.
JP McDade
In Texas, it's a five day limit.
Molly Viman
Yeah.
Zach Amico
All right, we are almost out of here. Let's do one or two more quick things. Here we go. You know what? Let's end on one of our favorite things. Horrible accidents. Woman knocked down and rolled over by her own car. One fun one to end the day on, huh?
JP McDade
Bright side of. Of getting your car stolen by.
Molly Viman
That will literally never happen.
Zach Amico
Yeah. Oh. Oh, no.
JP McDade
Oh. You saw that back wheel go up.
Molly Viman
Where is that?
JP McDade
It looks like a European model, a Renault.
Molly Viman
Okay. I don't think it went over her face for a second.
Zach Amico
That's what I thought, too.
Heather May
Seems like. Yeah, she's.
Zach Amico
You gotta feel like.
Molly Viman
Right.
Zach Amico
You gotta feel like a real silly goose. Yeah. To run yourself over.
Molly Viman
Wait, what was she even doing? I'm confused.
Zach Amico
Yeah, she had to bring that. Was she checking the.
Shannon (Producer/Researcher)
She was checking the battery under the hood.
Zach Amico
It worked, huh? Still running.
Heather May
Just wasn't in park.
Zach Amico
You gotta feel like a real. Isn't that how the kid from Star Trek died?
JP McDade
Yes.
Zach Amico
Anton Yelchin rolled down his driveway, like
JP McDade
he was checking his mail or something in the car, rolled down the driveway, hit him.
Molly Viman
It kind of looks like it's actually going up more than it is going down a hill at first. I was like, maybe it's because it's going down now.
Zach Amico
I think she was.
Shannon (Producer/Researcher)
She was pretty much fine. She didn't have any fractures, any serious injuries.
Zach Amico
That's crazy.
Heather May
She was a fractured ego.
Shannon (Producer/Researcher)
Not like an Indian.
Zach Amico
No. Well, we play a game on the show, Indians versus. It started as Indians versus Trains because they don't have a lot of safety regulations. And there is. I mean, countless hours of CCTV footage of Indian people running themselves over, getting run over by steamrollers touching live wires. Like, there was a guy that. Can we show them? Shannon, before we get out of here, this will be our last thing. Have you guys ever seen the drunk guy that goes to sit and he doesn't realize it's a giant bowl of soup?
Heather May
No.
JP McDade
Oh, God.
Zach Amico
We'll. We'll call it on this one. Shan, do you remember that video?
Shannon (Producer/Researcher)
I don't. Is an Indian guy.
Zach Amico
I want to say it is. Sits in boiling pot.
JP McDade
This was just a dream Zach had.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
Molly Viman
It was boiling. Yeah. I thought it was just like soup that was put.
Shannon (Producer/Researcher)
Is it the porridge one?
Zach Amico
Maybe. Let me see. Yep. So he's drunk. He goes to sit. Well, I assume he's drunk. I want you to think of the worst.
Shannon (Producer/Researcher)
Sorry. Let me find a better one.
Zach Amico
It's okay. Don't worry.
JP McDade
Who's making soup hot enough to kill you, though?
Zach Amico
These people.
Molly Viman
They didn't have the McDonald's, like, suing thing. Remember when McDonald's got sued for the hot coffee contents?
Zach Amico
And that, by the way, was a horrible injury? Like, yeah, so we've talked about that before. That was actually a really horrible injury, and they were totally at fault. But McDonald's hired a PR team to begin to spread stories saying that it was litigious. And, like, who doesn't know that coffee's hot?
Molly Viman
Yeah.
Zach Amico
So instead of. They tried to make her look stupid instead of them look. Because the coffee was, like, 20 or 30 degrees over what it was supposed
Molly Viman
to be, they were victim blaming.
Zach Amico
Yes, 100%. Shannon, did you find a better one?
Molly Viman
I'm not going to stop eating it, but that is.
JP McDade
All right.
Zach Amico
Put his hands on a boy real quick. Get out of here, you little scamp. Hold on, hold on. I'm fine. I got it. I'm all right. I'm okay. Oh, and now he's dying.
Molly Viman
No, that guy in the yellow shorts. Because he knew it was about to happen, and he pointed and laughed and then he pretended he was helping him.
Heather May
Wait, wait.
Molly Viman
And.
Zach Amico
Yeah.
JP McDade
Oh, dude, you're up. The gray suit.
Molly Viman
No, his balls are literally melting.
Zach Amico
Oh, he died. He dies in there.
JP McDade
God, that's horrible.
Zach Amico
That's got to be hard to explain to the family. Like, we have bad news and good news.
JP McDade
We have terrible news about Stu,
Molly Viman
but also happens a lot there.
Zach Amico
I think it happens more than you think.
Molly Viman
Yeah, I think so.
Zach Amico
I bet it's a way. Like, I bet at least one person has been told, we're really sorry. Your uncle fell at a bowl of soup and they went, I knew it. He was drunk, wasn't he?
Molly Viman
It was only a matter of time.
Zach Amico
You know what? Grandma said he was going to go like that. All right, that's our show. Thank you so much to JP McDade, Molly Viman and Heather May. Check out JP's special in Brooklyn.
JP McDade
From Brooklyn. Got it. In Brooklyn.
Zach Amico
In Brooklyn. I'll be on tour with Heather May June the fourth through seventh with Crack Amico. And we will be back this Friday with a bonus episode. Thank you so much for tuning in to the Morning zoo.
Heather May
Bye.
Show Intro Voice
Noon is morning time to him. Papa Baco. Chug it down. Just like the favorite obi's clown. Grab a coffee and join the crew. It's Acamiko morning, too. It's Acme. Go work Morning too.
Guests: JP McDade, Molly Viman, Heather May
Date: May 31, 2026
Podcast Theme: Irreverent comedy roundtable dissecting weird news, wild stories, chaotic personal anecdotes, and boundary-pushing bits with a rotating cast of comedians and misfits.
This episode of Zac Amico's Morning Zoo is characteristically chaotic, honest, and blunt, with Zac and crew riffing on bizarre news, sharing gleefully unfiltered personal stories, and trading quick-fire hot takes. Topics range from RFK Jr.'s snake-wrangling, to Marlon Wayans' support for Dave Chappelle, serial killers, wrestling-room justice, and animal anatomy oddities—all with the panel's signature gallows humor.
Timestamps: 01:55–04:00
Timestamps: 06:51–09:51
Timestamps: 09:49–15:49
Timestamps: 15:00–17:00
Timestamps: 23:46–32:00
Timestamps: 29:42–36:50
Timestamps: 38:03–43:11
Timestamps: 45:18–48:35
Timestamps: 48:58–53:50
Timestamps: 55:42–61:48
Timestamps: 62:17–63:34
The episode is fast-paced, irreverent, and gleefully crude, moving fluidly from news stories to personal confessions and back again. Zac keeps the vibe playful but unhinged, with guests rapidly “punching up” each bit. The crew balances gnarly true-crime talk with slapstick animal stories and street-level confessions, always choosing comedy over sensitivity or polish.
If you haven't heard Zac Amico's Morning Zoo before, this episode is a quintessential taste: unfiltered, weirdly warm, and ruthlessly funny. The crew is quick with both hot takes and self-deprecation, digging into society’s underbelly, pop culture, and their own checkered pasts without a filter—but always with a wink.
Listener warning: Nothing is off-limits; expect crassness and dark humor at every turn.