0117. Alex Tomaselli and Boris Khaykin

Summary

Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo – Episode 117

Guests: Alex Tomaselli & Boris Khaykin
Date: June 5, 2026
Network: GaS Digital
Host: Zac Amico

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Episode Overview

This episode of Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo delivers another raucous, chaotic, and darkly humorous slice of “drive-time radio gone off the rails.” Zac is joined by comedian and podcast host Alex Tomaselli and stand-up Boris Khaykin for a morning packed with wild stories, macabre news, irreverent banter, and twisted comedy. They cover everything from the culture of Insane Clown Posse’s Gathering of the Juggalos, infamous true-crime cases like Gypsy Rose Blanchard and Casey Anthony, bizarre deaths, gruesome bodily injuries, the “perils” of AI, their suspicions about Bill Gates, and end on both weird animal attacks and an internet-famous Norwegian “adoptee.” The irreverent, no-holds-barred humor is constant, as are the asides, tangents, and oddball observations.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Gathering of the Juggalos: Comedy and Chaos

• Zac describes the unruly, trial-by-fire atmosphere of performing at the Gathering of the Juggalos, ICP’s annual festival:

  “If you get through it, they love you. But if you get upset, that’s when they turn.” (06:46)

• Culture described as wild, with audience actively heckling and throwing things at performers—only those who embrace it stick around.
• Notable for wild staging antics (“Faygo Armageddon” with soda), cheap merch, and a unique performer-fan relationship.

2. Gypsy Rose Blanchard: Where’s Her Story Now?

• Revisiting the Gypsy Rose saga—her Munchausen-by-proxy victimhood/matricide and media king status post-prison.
• Speculation about her publicity, relationships, and potential for future controversy:

  “I think another murder’s on the way... If this lady gets through life without another body, I’ll be shocked.” (13:09)

• Discussion of viral video where she allegedly slashes a boyfriend’s headboard out of jealousy (14:13).

3. Infamous Women: Casey Anthony & The Internet’s Dark Fascination

• The hosts turn to Casey Anthony and the enduring weird draw of “notorious” women:

  Alex: “I would understand this for Casey Anthony, honestly.” (16:11) Zac: “That’s like seeing Bigfoot, you gotta take your camera out.” (17:05)

• Lighthearted yet dark banter on notoriety, sexuality, and public memory.

4. India: Wild News & Lack of Safety

• A recurring show segment about unusual deaths in India due to “lack of safety regulations”—this episode:

  “Indian man dies after having sex using epoxy adhesive instead of a condom.” (19:05)

• Joking speculation and riffing on past stories of DIY, dangerous contraceptive solutions.
• Banter on “creative” but disastrous home remedies in the name of safe sex, hairpiece rumors, and mean internet commentary.

5. Medical/Bodily Horror: Real or Internet Myths?

• The crew reacts in real time to gross-out viral videos:
  • Man’s fingers fall off due to gangrene.
  • Nightmarish “degloving” ring injuries (family wisdom on non-metal wedding bands; story of workplace accidents).
  • “It gloved the whole hand...up to his fingernail and it was just bone.” (28:26)
  • Fear and fascination about body horror stories, both personal and second-hand.

6. AI & Viral Video Hoaxes

• Zac confesses being repeatedly duped by AI-generated viral clips:

  “I’ll just send Shannon something and be like, wait till the show to tell me if it’s AI or not.” (31:43)

• They review a “giant bat” video, debate authenticity, and joke about “cabin in the woods” movie monsters.
• Shannon details real bat sizes versus hoax videos. (32:42)

7. Bill Gates, Farmland, and the “Supervillain Theory”

• Zac and Boris riff on the suspicion that Bill Gates is quietly prepping for global calamity:

  “If you look at the map of if the oceans rise... and the map of the farmland Bill Gates has been buying... he wants to be the guy that owns all the food.” (33:53)

• Gates’ PR team’s efforts to make him “look like Mr. Rogers” (soft colors, sweater-over-shirt).
• Melinda Gates’ strained interviews and the Epstein connection—outside-the-mainstream, tongue-in-cheek conspiracy talk.
• “He will transfer his consciousness into something that lasts forever.” (36:10)

8. Objectifying Politicians' Relatives & Social Boundaries

• Unfiltered conversation about “hot political relatives,” including AOC, Tomi Lahren, Kathy Griffin, Ben Shapiro’s sister, and John McCain’s daughter (“...busted him out for the funeral.” [40:47])
• Frequent jokes on political double-standards and male desire, purely for comedic effect.

9. Police Bodycam Videos & Ethics

• Bodycam footage: police confront suspect with a machete and child hostage.

  Zac: “To have the wherewithal after somebody hit your officer with a machete to still non-lethal them? Guys, can we start giving out awards for the ones that do it right?” (46:13)

• Genuine praise for proper police restraint, but dark humor persists.

10. Violence and Death in Games: “Ready or Not”

• Discussion of the video game Ready or Not simulating real-life SWAT scenarios including the Pulse nightclub shooting.

  “It’s so difficult...all the phones are going off on the floor and it’s distracting, you’re trying to hear footsteps and stuff.” (48:09)

• The line between entertainment and trauma in “realistic” video games.

11. Mystery Injuries: Wild Animal Attacks

• Guess-the-perp segment: Show photos of badly injured California woman—who attacked her?
  • Answer: Wild turkeys (54:12)
  • Turkey aggression and the wild “dinonychus” behavior discussed with humor and disbelief.

12. Funeral Fails & Casket Customization

• Hilarity ensues watching video of a body falling through the bottom of a casket mid-funeral:

  “What’s this made of, paper mache? That looks like cardboard...IKEA casket.” (56:46-56:57)

• Extended riff on customized casket wraps (feat. sports teams, Spider-man, and personal photos); irreverent racial and cultural observations.

13. Strange Internet Virality: Norwegian "Desi"

• Viral video of a Norwegian man abandoned in India, speaking English with an Indian accent:

  Zac: “I can watch this guy talk all day... That’s a feature length documentary.” (67:29)

  • Discussion: the cultural oddity of “outsiders” perfectly adopting local accents/languages.
  • Boris relates: Russian-Chinese intersections, "steppe peoples," and language/culture surprises.

14. Personal Anecdotes: Zac’s Bad Lyft Karma

• Zac recounts repeatedly being rear-ended as an Uber passenger, including a cross-cultural fender bender that turns into a makeshift “Clash of the Titans” between the drivers. (65:10–65:50)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “If you get through it [Gathering of the Juggalos], they love you...If you get upset, that’s when they turn.” – Zac (06:46)
• “That’s how people get the T-virus, right?” – Boris, discussing disease from gangrene fingers (25:45)
• “I’m dumb as fuck. A boomer. I am a fucking moron.” – Zac on falling for AI (31:41)
• “If this lady gets through life without another body on her, I will be shocked.” – Zac on Gypsy Rose (13:09)
• “Power your day. Feel your drive.” – Zac, reading ad copy but ridiculing “testosterone coffee” (42:14)
• “Ready or Not... it’s a SWAT team game, and they have one level that’s very obviously supposed to be the Pulse nightclub shooting...” – Zac (48:02)
• “That’s like seeing Bigfoot, you gotta take your camera out.” – Zac, on seeing Casey Anthony in public (17:05)
• “Custom pinball game with your body inside... That would be fun as shit, dude.” – Zac, brainstorming funeral innovations (61:34)
• “I want this guy’s documentary so bad – that’s a feature length documentary.” – Zac, on the Norwegian “Indian” (67:29)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [04:56] – The challenges and insults of comedy at the Gathering of the Juggalos
• [10:45] – Revisiting the Gypsy Rose Blanchard saga
• [13:09] – “Another murder’s on the way” – Zac’s take on Gypsy Rose
• [16:11] – “I would understand this for Casey Anthony, honestly.” – Alex
• [19:05] – Indian man dies after using epoxy as a condom
• [24:47] – Viral “man’s fingers fall off” gross-out video
• [28:13] – Occupational horror: the degloving injury story
• [31:41] – Zac’s “dumb as fuck” admission about AI
• [33:53] – The “Bill Gates is prepping for the apocalypse, farmland edition” conspiracy
• [40:21] – “I don’t think we talk about John McCain’s daughter having giant tits enough.” – Zac
• [46:13] – Bodycam: “Can we start giving awards for the ones that do it right?”
• [54:12] – Wild turkey attack on California woman revealed
• [56:18] – Video: body falls out of bottom of casket at funeral
• [62:04] – Norwegian man raised in India: “Indian accent” viral phenomenon (first video)
• [67:43] – Second video of Norwegian man, critique of governmental failure

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Tone & Style

• Irreverent, explicit, and darkly comic.
• Conversational and tangential, constantly riffing and improvising.
• Equal parts morbid, juvenile, and weirdly insightful – the “Morning Zoo” moniker is tongue-in-cheek, deliberately breaking all rules of "good taste" or standard morning radio.

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This episode is a rollercoaster of morbid hilarity, real-life medical nightmares, true crime fascination, conspiracy theorizing, and raw, unfiltered comedy—exactly what Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo promises. Listeners get an eclectic mix of shocking news, internet oddities, and the kind of brutally funny commentary that only a room full of seasoned comics can deliver.

Transcript

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

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[Alex Tomaselli]

Fill ER up.

[Zach Miko]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network.

[Intro/Outro Announcer]

Wake up, it's time to go. Zakamiko's gotta show. Animals are here to play jokes and guests to start your day. Tell the sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs and cook some beef Map is waiting. Don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky Grab a coffee and join the crew. It's Akamiko. Morning Sou.

[Zach Miko]

Wake up. Wake up. Well, hello, hello, hello. It is a mighty Monday here in New York City. We're coming to you live from the Gas Digital Studios. It's me, your other boy, the international superstar Zach Miko saying welcome to the morning Zoo and thanks so much for tuning in. Across the table from me, two very funny young men joining us for the first time in a long time. Very glad to have him. Recently did a show with him at Littlefields in Brooklyn. Old friend of the show, Boris Hyken. How you doing, buddy?

[Boris Hyken]

I'm doing great. That morning opening tune got me in a fine mood.

[Zach Miko]

Thank you. Shout out to John Brennan and the big Feet.

[Boris Hyken]

Very good.

[Zach Miko]

Nice work. Really, really great guy. Used to do all the music for the Joe Bob Briggs show on Shutter. Now he does Up All Night, YouTube and a few other projects coming. I think we're gonna do a movie together soon. And next to him from Super Selly Joe's one of my besties, it's Alex Tomaselli. How you doing, man?

[Alex Tomaselli]

I'm well, man. Good to see you.

[Zach Miko]

Great to See you. Let's knock plugs out of the way. Boris. What do you want people to check out?

[Boris Hyken]

They could check out online on Instagram at the Boris K. And I'll be in Vegas July somewhere around like 8 through 11th during Freedom Fest.

[Zach Miko]

Fantastic. Alex.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Just follow me on Instagram at Silly Selly. And check out the podcast Super Celly Joe's. I do with Joe Gorman.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah. Phu Nominal Instagram. Zach is not funny. Punchup Live Zach and Miko for all my tickets. I'm going on tour this week. That's right. Myself and my younger brother crack and Miko. June 4th, Michigan City. June 5th, South Bend, Indiana. June the sixth, cows miss you, Michigan. And June 7th, whoop, whoop, Detroit. Full comedy show and then a concert. Come hang out. See you boys. And if you enjoy the program, head over to gas digital.com today. Use my promo code. Zoo, Zoo. You save a little bit of money, you get your ads, your episodes early ad free and uncensored. You get access to the live chat and the archives, thousands of episodes of all your favorite guest shows from the last decade. And you get our Friday bonus episode. Also adding to my dates, did just get a call from some wicked clowns. Whoop, whoop. Looks like somebody's coming back. Possibly. Got to work it all out for their third gathering of the Juggalos. So for those of you enjoy me. See you there. For those of you there that hate my comedy, ha. Go fuck yourselves. They hired me again. Should be super fun. And I hope to see you guys out there. It's the party of the year. All right, boys, we got some great go, please.

[Alex Tomaselli]

I was gonna say there's like comedy snobs at the Juggalofest.

[Zach Miko]

Oh, yeah, they complain. It's a lot of you. So the first year I was there, I had to do 45, and it was at 1 in the morning outside. Well, yeah, and they were a little restless and I had to use teacher voice.

[Boris Hyken]

They were like, we want Alana Glazer.

[Zach Miko]

They would just wanted to yell shit and be animals. I get that's their prerogative. But I was like, hey, guys, you know, there's people here that do want to see the show and you're ruining it for them.

[Boris Hyken]

And they responded well to that and apologized.

[Zach Miko]

The next year when they announced me, they were like, yo, this motherfucker yelled at us. He's a fucking piece of shit. He's not funny at all. And then, like, they just keep bringing me back. But hey, who knows? And it's a great. It's really fun. Everybody has a tough run. I've seen, like, established famous rappers two songs in. Go Now. Fuck this. Like, guys that are just, like. Some of them are in on it and they know, like, Waka. Flock of Flame came out with the shit on, like, the makeup, and he was just going nuts.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah, he's with it. Yeah. No, he's Walk of Hawk. The flames tapped into white people in a weird way.

[Zach Miko]

But some of the, like, older, like. Like, I would call. Yeah. Like underground rappers, they'll go up and, like, people are throwing shit, and they'd be like, one more person throws like, I'm leaving, and then just eight more things come, and then people are furious. Like, yo, he only did two songs. Like, yeah, so stop throwing shit at his head.

[Boris Hyken]

Are they, like, heckling or that? That's just how they have a good time. Explain the culture to me. It's.

[Zach Miko]

You know what? It's trial by fire.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

If you get through it, they love you.

[Boris Hyken]

Okay.

[Zach Miko]

And if you make it a party. But if you get upset, that's when they turn.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah. It's like. It's like a daycare center.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah.

[Boris Hyken]

You know, like, you can't give in to the kids.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah. It's. They're having a good time, but also, please realize they're cooking in the sun for five days on drugs. A lot of them traveled there. Not by an airplane. And it is not a access. Like, it's the woods.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah. Where is it?

[Zach Miko]

It's been in Ohio, but this year it is in Missouri. And I'm very excited. I think I'm going to go up a day early because it is about 20 minutes from Branson, and I want to go see Yaakov Smirnoff's residency. He has a theater in Branson that he does every day.

[Boris Hyken]

Yep. Yep. There's a great comic that I think opens from Adam Yesner.

[Zach Miko]

I believe so. Yeah. It's so fun. It's like, literally, like, the same menu every day. And I think the trays are magnetic, so I think they just hose the place down in between shows. It's like that. It's like a Medieval Times. Wow.

[Boris Hyken]

He's got a lot in common with the Juggalos. Yeah, they should do. Yeah. Yakov Smirnoff at the Gather Love. That would be amazing.

[Zach Miko]

For a few years, they were getting, like, higher, like, but people complain be like, yeah, we had Charlie Murphy, and I'm like, fucking get him again. I dare you. Yeah, well, they've had, like, Norton, they had Gilbert, they had Bobcat and so I think they want to see a famous person.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

More than they want to see comedy. Yeah.

[Boris Hyken]

I'd love to see, like, Gallagher. Gallagher at the gathering just smashes. He would use Faygo bottle.

[Intro/Outro Announcer]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

He would do. Well, he would actually do the Faygo thing is. It's so much fun. At the end of icp, they did. They call it Faygo Armageddon because they have pallets of cases.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

And diet so that it doesn't stain.

[Boris Hyken]

Is Fago owned by, like, Coca Cola

[Zach Miko]

or something like that now? It is just a cheap ass. They don't even have a deal with them. They just buy it.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

They go.

[Zach Miko]

Refuses to represent them. It's. But they.

[Boris Hyken]

But they won't give up on Faygo.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah. They're dedicated to it. And they buy diet so that it doesn't stain.

[Alex Tomaselli]

That's all I know Faygo for, too. Like, I don't know them for anything else.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah. They'll bring up, like, the VIP ticket holders and let them all come on stage and, like, just destroy the rest of the pallets.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

It's pretty fucking fun, dude.

[Boris Hyken]

I love that.

[Zach Miko]

And, like, they're so good. Like, the. The guys at the band are so good at, like. I've seen them hit the back of the venue, like, shake up the bottle and then boot it.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

And it. They're good. They know their business.

[Boris Hyken]

The guys in the band. They're touring otherwise. Right. Like, outside of this.

[Zach Miko]

Oh, yeah. They're all. They tore all year.

[Boris Hyken]

Yo. They talk about wealth disparity in this country. The distance between those band members and that audience, you know, that's gotta be crazy.

[Zach Miko]

They're pretty good to the. They keep things pretty affordable.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

I was surprised. The last place I've seen a t shirt for $25.

[Boris Hyken]

All right.

[Zach Miko]

a concert.

[Boris Hyken]

At a concert.

[Zach Miko]

That's fucking nuts. Concerts. T shirts are, like 50 now, easily.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

And they. They keep it pretty affordable for the kids.

[Boris Hyken]

How much are tickets to the.

[Zach Miko]

To the whole shebang to the festival? They're a couple hundred to a regular show. I think they keep them under a hundo.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

That's anything. All bands are charging because there's no. You can't sell albums anymore.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah.

[Boris Hyken]

Well, I mean, honestly, I don't mind, like, supporting in that sense, because I'm not paying.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah.

[Boris Hyken]

For the most part. For albums.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah. Nobody. Nobody sells records anymore. That's why concerts got so expensive. Yeah. But hopefully see you guys out there. We got a bunch of silly shit. I want to start off with this. We're following Gypsy Rose Blanchard for quite a bit of time.

[Boris Hyken]

Familiar?

[Zach Miko]

No.

[Boris Hyken]

No.

[Zach Miko]

Is the. The.

[Boris Hyken]

The face that looks like the ass that you're imagining.

[Zach Miko]

Her and her very doofy boyfriend killed her mom, who had Eminem's mom disease. Munchausen by proxy.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah. Yeah, she kind of, like, not deserved it, but had it coming, perhaps.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah. And the mom said she was younger than she was, that she was retarded, had cancer, a bunch of. She had her teeth removed, the feeding tube put in, shaved her head.

[Boris Hyken]

Pretty brutal. Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

Now, as some of the details have continued to come out, they might have

[Boris Hyken]

been in on it together, the mom and the daughter.

[Zach Miko]

There's a lot of footage of her FaceTiming now with the boyfriend, where she very clearly is aware of how old she is that she doesn't have. She acts like she didn't know and that the mom was keeping her. Seems like they were running a few scams. Yeah.

[Boris Hyken]

No matter what, I don't have really a ton of empathy for the moment.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah, of course. She's a bad lady. So she's been out of jail. She's married a dude. Right. Shannon.

[Boris Hyken]

She's got a kid.

[Shannon]

She married, divorced, and then got back with a guy she was engaged to earlier. Had a baby with him.

[Boris Hyken]

Oh.

[Zach Miko]

So what'd she look like?

[Boris Hyken]

No, no, she's got kind of a funky looking.

[Zach Miko]

You're saying this she looks like Foghorn Leghorn's nephew.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah. You know, beats his ass.

[Zach Miko]

And she's kind of. Does the baby voice thing. Yeah, that's her before. That's before she.

[Alex Tomaselli]

What's the guy look like?

[Boris Hyken]

But she's on the left or the right.

[Zach Miko]

But this is before she got. Now, she's. She's doing her best.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Okay.

[Boris Hyken]

I wouldn't have recognized her from either of these images. I think I must have seen, like, a transitionary period of her.

[Zach Miko]

So she looks okay, actually, in that I have said. I don't think evil stops with a generation. I think there's something that lives in you and you got to fight it. Right. I think this. This girl has nature, nurture, whatever you want to say. She might have. She might. Don't got that evil in her. Or she might have been abused to the point where she. Her morals could be corrupted easily.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

And there is a video now circulating of her messaging her baby daddy. And I gotta tell you, I think another murder's on the way. I think if this lady. If this lady gets through life without another body on her, I will be shocked. Cause the crazies in There. Shannon,

[Ken's Sister]

Wait till you see the entire video that Gypsy Rose Blencher allegedly recorded and meant for her baby daddy slash boyfriend Ken over what sounds to be like another woman. Now, it's crazy that this video is now coming out because Ken's sister also just posted a video today talking about the headboard video. If you don't know what the headboard video is, apparently there's a video picture or something out there where Ken's side of the bed has a big X slashed through it, that Gypsy used a knife over his side of the bed because she was not happy about something that had happened. Now, this said headwind ready has not been released, but Ken's sister said that she has seen it.

[Zach Miko]

Yes, there was a video sent to my brother from Gypsy. Upset pause. Why does girl have a red nose like Cindy? So, yes, Gypsy has apparently sent her slashing the headboard that the girl slept in that she thinks slept with her baby daddy. And now, Shannon, we don't have the whole video of her just going bananas, do we?

[Shannon]

It's coming.

[Zach Miko]

Okay, great. Doing some things to his headboard.

[Ken's Sister]

This part needs a whole separate video for itself. A lot of people do not believe that this said video existed, which is why I think this video is released, because this is a whole separate video that she recorded of herself mad at Ken destroying something of his.

[Shannon]

She's having a real hard time with that scissor.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah, she is. This is what she needed the other guy for.

[Alex Tomaselli]

She looks speeding it up.

[Zach Miko]

Makes you look just silly's got to be great, though.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

I bet that thing grips.

[Alex Tomaselli]

I mean, if you go back to her. Right. This is the same guy who's before, right?

[Zach Miko]

Yeah.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Jesus Christ.

[Boris Hyken]

Wait, it's the. It's the guy that she divorced. She went back to him. It's not.

[Zach Miko]

So he started, I believe, dating her when she was in prison, right?

[Shannon]

Yes.

[Zach Miko]

Which already.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah. I mean, everyone deserves everything.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

Involved in any of this, you are playing with fire. But that's got to be part of the appeal.

[Boris Hyken]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Miko]

Like I'm getting some crazy.

[Boris Hyken]

But once that's out.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah.

[Boris Hyken]

You know, it's just been marinating in there.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah. Don't you gotta. You can't leave it in. But I bet she's the kind of girl that fucking leg locks you like. It's a jujitsu match and makes you fucking dumping her.

[Alex Tomaselli]

I would understand this for Casey Anthony, honestly.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah. Yeah. You see, very different.

[Zach Miko]

Casey's been walking around. Casey. Casey was shopping the other day.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Just give me a shot. Casey Please, can you bring. I don't care.

[Zach Miko]

I don't want paparazzi photos of her walking around.

[Alex Tomaselli]

I never wanted kids.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Just.

[Alex Tomaselli]

I know exact. I'll. I can forget.

[Zach Miko]

There was me and F talked about it a while ago. There was video of her at Disney walking around. And Casey Anthony's got a doper on her.

[Boris Hyken]

I bet she is.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah, she is.

[Alex Tomaselli]

K. Yeah. Dude, I don't. I don't care. All natural.

[Zach Miko]

Here she is.

[Alex Tomaselli]

She's beautiful. Oh, come on, move. It's very blurry. Are you filming me? Yeah. She spazzes sometimes too.

[Zach Miko]

How would you not? That's like seeing bigfoot. You gotta take your camera out of his. Casey, I would ask you for a picture. I'd be like, I'm so sorry.

[Alex Tomaselli]

I'd ask her out, dude. I. I'd pretend I don't know who she is.

[Zach Miko]

What are you gonna do tonight?

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah, what's up? How you doing?

[Zach Miko]

You wanna go swimming? Need a babysitter? What's up?

[Alex Tomaselli]

Let's go in the woods.

[Zach Miko]

What's up, girl? How's your relationship with your father and your lawyer? Yeah, God bless her. All right. Hey, guys. Today's episode is brought to you by our great [e-mail] home of the $60 kilo. That's right. Stop going to smoke shops, bodegas, or gas stations and getting a little bit of kratom at a time. And you don't even know what's in there. When you go to yocratum.com today. They have the best streams, the best customer service, and they're the marquee sponsor of everything we do here at Gas. If you don't use kratom, don't start on my account. But if you use Kratom for one of its many, many benefits, there's only one place in the world and there's no promo code needed. Why, it's already the best deal in the world to kratom. 60 bucks for a whole kilo delivered right to your gosh darn door. So check them out today, guys.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yo.

[Zach Miko]

Kratom.com Home of the $60 kilo. All right, let's get back into the program. Let's do a story and then we'll look at some gross shit. But let's start with this. We have a running, I don't know, I guess, segment on the show of different things that have happened to people in India due to a lack of safety regulations. It's like somebody dared them to find new ways to die. They're like they're like, you know.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah, it's.

[Intro/Outro Announcer]

We're bored.

[Zach Miko]

Can you guys just really just. It's like the game lemmings. Like, you just can't. You can't keep them alive. Yeah.

[Alex Tomaselli]

The disregard for human life is astounding.

[Zach Miko]

And this is a fun one. Indian man dies after having sex using epoxy adhesive instead of a condom.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Oh, no, it melted through. That's a thin membrane down there.

[Zach Miko]

He glued his shut.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Oh, no. We don't have video.

[Zach Miko]

Shannon.

[Alex Tomaselli]

No, no, Shannon.

[Boris Hyken]

You know what's crazy is he was responsible enough to want to use protection. You know what I mean? Like, he had the foresight to want to not have a pregnancy, but not to not.

[Zach Miko]

But not. You had to go, that's a full ball decision.

[Alex Tomaselli]

That's not. That's misreading the package.

[Boris Hyken]

You know what?

[Alex Tomaselli]

Next to each other.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah. But also, maybe it's like, worked a bunch of times. You know what I mean? Like, this time it went wrong.

[Zach Miko]

It's entirely. I definitely know a gentleman who tried Saran Wrap in a rubber band and got that girl pregnant. She stopped coming to school after that. Shout out. O'. Neal. Somebody keeps commenting on Instagram that I make up all my stories. And it's really. It hurts my feelings because I would make up much better stories.

[Boris Hyken]

The Saran Wrap is a thing that I feel like kids in high school would try.

[Alex Tomaselli]

You know, I've heard of that. Yeah, I've heard of people doing that. I've heard of a kid claiming to put it in a chip bag. And I was like, that makes no sense. But he said it, you know?

[Zach Miko]

I mean, like, did he?

[Alex Tomaselli]

I don't think. No, he said he tried, and I was like, that doesn't even. That's like. Like what stuff can get, like you said, in your dick hole. It's like you can get salt and vinegar in there.

[Zach Miko]

I would use a Pringles. I would use one of the short Pringles. Give her the old. Hi, how are you?

[Alex Tomaselli]

You know. You know what? Someone commented on the other videos that they think my hair is fake.

[Zach Miko]

Really?

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah. They said they get a hair, you get a better hairpiece. I was just like, I didn't put anything in it that day, dude.

[Boris Hyken]

So, yeah, you're actually going back. I see you're trimming up.

[Alex Tomaselli]

I know. I got a haircut today, so I'm jealous.

[Boris Hyken]

I wish I had that. I feel like I don't look. I look like my most bald with these cameras.

[Alex Tomaselli]

No, you look great, dude.

[Zach Miko]

It's. You're Being overly critical.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

This guy just keeps commenting. He's like, I know everything you say is made up. You know, you don't have one interesting story. And then he's like, you're really funny, but you know your stories suck. All right? And then I go on his page, he's got a picture with me saying what a nice guy I am. And it's like, I'm a dude. Just stop listening. And he's like, you show up on all my favorite shows, then fucking don't listen. I fucking love you. I can't help it, man. Am I a bad storyteller?

[Shannon]

No. And it's also that guy that. Because I saw that comment earlier and it was a comment on your Instagram page for this show. So he is choosing to view your content and be an asshole about it.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah, it just drives like, I don't have the time to watch the stuff I like. I don't know how people fit it in. A day to hate. Watch. Sure. Do I find a few things. Yes. But usually it's because we're in a group and we're laughing at how bad somebody's bombing in their special to stand produced. But I swear you hear a fart. So let's hear about this Indian guy.

[Shannon]

Okay. So is this guy. He's 25, with his fiance. They were in the hotel room. They were also doing some sort of drugs. It seems like they were sniffing glue. And in one of the. One of the other articles I read, they said a white. A whitener.

[Alex Tomaselli]

This is a lower caste Indian.

[Zach Miko]

Is that like. Or like whitening strips or.

[Shannon]

I'm not sure.

[Zach Miko]

Or white out.

[Shannon]

Oh, maybe. Maybe white out. Yeah. So they were like sniffing some stuff.

[Zach Miko]

I think you can sniff white out.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah, sure.

[Shannon]

And yeah, so they said they didn't have protection, so they decided to use the adhesive to make sure she didn't get pregnant. They found him in the hotel room the next day, like, in like very bad. In a very bad state. And then he was hospitalized, but then died. So they feel like that doing the drugs didn't help, but putting it on the penis, like, helps it to get into the bloodstream quicker. And he died due to multiple organ failure.

[Zach Miko]

So what? Exact. He probably had a piss too in it.

[Boris Hyken]

Right, Right.

[Zach Miko]

It probably wasn't the low.

[Boris Hyken]

Basically.

[Zach Miko]

It was probably. Yeah, he probably exploded.

[Boris Hyken]

Right. Well, it's the. What is the shit in your piss.

[Zach Miko]

The.

[Boris Hyken]

In your piss. The. What is it ammonia?

[Zach Miko]

I don't know. It can't be good. No idea. It can't. It has to hurt like a month. Don't you just cut the tip of your dick off? I, I don't. Maybe he really got in there.

[Boris Hyken]

I mean, I've sealed crazy glue off my fingertips. It's not that big a deal, you know?

[Zach Miko]

Maybe he really got in there, though. Yeah, maybe he really.

[Alex Tomaselli]

What a way to go.

[Boris Hyken]

Brutal.

[Zach Miko]

Because my, I, I, my what I immediately thought was just on the outside and then you squeeze the tip.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah. Or you do a tracheotomy and, like, cut a little tube on the side.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah. I think maybe he took the applicator and put it in the inside. There you go.

[Alex Tomaselli]

I'm pulling them tight right now, dude.

[Zach Miko]

All right.

[Boris Hyken]

But he got one last nut. You know, he got one last nut.

[Zach Miko]

So we got two different, Two different hand videos that fucked me up this week. And because I like sharing my tragedy. The other day, Mrs. Amico and I were laying in bed and she heard me go, ah. And she goes, what? And I just turned her the phone and she goes, ah. And this was man's fingers falling off, just falling off. I'm going to assume this is a result. Look, you can pull it out.

[Alex Tomaselli]

No, no, no, no, not these. Oh, God. Oh, it's like a crackhead thing.

[Boris Hyken]

Just gangrene.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah, sepsis. Oh, yeah.

[Boris Hyken]

It's like frostbite.

[Alex Tomaselli]

You gotta take them off. Yeah,

[Boris Hyken]

yeah. He can't feel that at all. The thing, it hurts us more than him, I bet.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Oh, my God, dude. Why would they tell him to do it, though? Wouldn't you just be like, yo, go to the doctor and have them pull it off.

[Boris Hyken]

This hurts me more than it hurts you.

[Zach Miko]

Let me see.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Oh, my God, dude. Yeah, Eat it.

[Zach Miko]

At least sell it.

[Alex Tomaselli]

What did he do? Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's some disease or completely untreated. Yeah, gangrene. Diabetes.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah, diabetes for sure.

[Zach Miko]

Isn't that the worst when you're on the train and you'll just. You'll accidentally make eye contact with the guy's legs and they're, they're moving from the inside.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah, dude. Yeah. Looks like a resident evil creature, dude. Yeah, I know the feeling.

[Zach Miko]

There is. Oh, boy. What is that, the T virus? What? No. What's the, the thing, Shannon? What's the bug? The p. Is it like. I want to say chiggers? I'm not being.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Of course you do say. You want to say it.

[Zach Miko]

That's what I call black people in China. No, is it. Is it something like that, Shannon, what's that?

[Shannon]

What's the full question? You're Asking, what's the.

[Zach Miko]

It's like a bug that homeless people get that's in their legs.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah, that's not mites. That's just a fucking there.

[Zach Miko]

But you can see like physically see them moving. Yeah. Dude, I want to say it's chiggers with a flamethrower.

[Boris Hyken]

Dude, there's a worm.

[Zach Miko]

Yes, thank you. I was close. And now we have another one. As a fat person, I think especially this bothers me. Ring stuck on finger. Oh, no,

[Alex Tomaselli]

you gotta. Oh God.

[Zach Miko]

By the way, is he waiting on a finger already?

[Alex Tomaselli]

He's already down one.

[Boris Hyken]

He waited way too long.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Way too long, that thing.

[Zach Miko]

Oh, nope, no, he's not down one.

[Alex Tomaselli]

That was just hitting.

[Boris Hyken]

It's almost cracked too. Oh, just put a screwdriver in there.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah, dude, there's some.

[Boris Hyken]

Wait, there's a leg gone too there.

[Alex Tomaselli]

That's just laziness.

[Boris Hyken]

Honestly, the impressive thing is the rest of him that is still put together.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah. What is. What happened?

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

Yeah.

[Alex Tomaselli]

How?

[Boris Hyken]

It's like Elephant man but with a finger.

[Zach Miko]

That's horrendous. Dude. I, I get so afraid of the rings cracked. Yeah.

[Boris Hyken]

Honestly, the most impressive part is that's a married man right there.

[Alex Tomaselli]

You gotta let it crack.

[Zach Miko]

And then. Well, his wife won't let him take it off. She doesn't want him going out getting pussy. No, no, no, no. She loves that finger I get so afraid of. So I wear the, the rubber one.

[Boris Hyken]

Uh huh. Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

Because I come from machine workers. Yeah.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

And my dad always. Now I think he liked also just being able to be a little fast and loose with the wedding ring. But my dad was, you know, we, in our family, we wear the, the, the, the stretchy ones. And he's like, one day you will know why. And I opened up a text from my dad a few years ago and all the, all the text said was, this is why we don't wear metal rigs. And it was one of the guys at his shop jumping off the back of a truck.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Right.

[Zach Miko]

It had mesh on the back of it. Ring got caught. He lands on the ground. And it was the aversion thing. So it went gloved. It gloved the whole. It was up to his fingernail and it was just bone.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Fuck my ass, dude.

[Zach Miko]

And it wasn't like a crazy act. He just jumped off the back. Okay, hold on, I'll be there in a second. Vop.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

And there's no like putting the peel back on the banana.

[Alex Tomaselli]

No, they just like.

[Zach Miko]

There's no. Yeah, there's no.

[Alex Tomaselli]

You go to the doctor. They can't wrap it up.

[Zach Miko]

Oh, fuck.

[Boris Hyken]

My ass was so much worse.

[Zach Miko]

It was all crunched up at the end.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Oh, Jesus Christ.

[Zach Miko]

That's what. I didn't like that at all. Jimmy Fallon do that to himself, right?

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah, there was something.

[Zach Miko]

I'm sure he wasn't hammered.

[Boris Hyken]

He was also fast and loose with the ring.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure he wasn't completely.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah. Oh, would you look at that?

[Zach Miko]

I haven't heard that about him at all. I think he did it on the banish there in his house. But he had like a full. Because I think they saved it. Yeah, but he had like a full cast for a while.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah. He had a little more resources than your average mechanic.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah. Yeah. I would say that's. That's got to be a tough day.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

Because then you go to the hospital when they say, sit down and fill out this form. I'm looking at my bones, lady. Yeah.

[Boris Hyken]

Brutal.

[Zach Miko]

All right.

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[Zach Miko]

So I have a history on this show of falling for AI. I am, I believe there's a medical term for it. Dumb as fuck.

[Boris Hyken]

A boomer.

[Zach Miko]

I am a fucking moron. And so now I'll just send Shannon something and be like, wait till the show to tell me if it's AI or not.

[Boris Hyken]

You got to just ask AI.

[Zach Miko]

Well, I have Shannon. Yeah, I have Shannon to tell me I'm stupid. So on this edition of How Dumb is Zach? This is giant bat.

[Alex Tomaselli]

I always check the comments if I think I'm being duped. Yeah, Zach, this looks like a from Cabin in the Woods.

[Zach Miko]

Dude, watching it now. It does look like a deleted scene from the Underworld movie.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah, it's a great prosthetic.

[Zach Miko]

It's cool as.

[Boris Hyken]

It does look cool.

[Zach Miko]

Shannon, it's AI, right?

[Shannon]

Yes. Bats, I'm pretty sure don't scream like that.

[Zach Miko]

They have sonar.

[Boris Hyken]

Welcome to my lair.

[Zach Miko]

Maybe he was trying to speak bat for I'm AI.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah, he's freaking out. He doesn't know where he is. Shannon. God, no.

[Shannon]

The biggest bat is like the. The cute face. Little B. Fox looking bats.

[Zach Miko]

Okay.

[Shannon]

And the biggest one ever is a five foot wingspan, but their body is like less than a foot tall.

[Zach Miko]

Okay.

[Boris Hyken]

Oh, they don't have the thing we have where you're like height matches your.

[Zach Miko]

No.

[Boris Hyken]

No.

[Zach Miko]

All right, well here's a fun one. I thought this was very. And we're gonna have a body cam thing coming up. So Shannon, start warming up your. Your hooch. I think we are gonna find out in our lifetime that our Hank Scorpio, like from the Simpsons, our supervillain, we let Bill Gates get a pass. I think secretly Bill Gates might be the real man behind the curtain.

[Boris Hyken]

The man behind Epstein.

[Zach Miko]

I have a distinct feeling and I base that I think he knows or is planning a cataclysmic event.

[Boris Hyken]

Oh yeah, you're not the only one. There's chatter of these things on the

[Zach Miko]

Internet, like a worldwide cataclysmic event.

[Boris Hyken]

Like a pandemic or something.

[Zach Miko]

Because if you look at the map of if the oceans rise, what will be left? And you look at the map of the farmland Bill Gates, his companies have been buying, he is very clearly basing those purchases off of A worldwide event where the ice caps melt and we lose a bunch of land. And I think he has research or a head knowledge and he is not sharing it because he wants to be the guy that owns all the food.

[Boris Hyken]

Him in China, I think China's been buying up similar farmland.

[Zach Miko]

And I read this thing about Bill Gates today that I thought was very telling because they always say he's. That he dresses down, right? Not fancy sneakers. And it's. Yo, he's got. Oh, that's because he's an every guy, right? Bill Gates has been plotting to base his outfits off of Mr. Rogers so that people find him more acceptable and not evil. And they think he's a nice guy and used a customized mannequin to test boring potential outfits. Shannon?

[Shannon]

Yeah, so sorry, I just ran peed, so I didn't hear exactly what you said. But so, yeah, so he used a team of stylists to make him as likable as possible. And like, here's. Here's like one image of his, like soft colors, neutral tones, sweater over button down to make him look like Mr. Rogers. Even though Mr. Rogers had a very bright colored sweater here.

[Zach Miko]

I'm sure he said that, but, you know, toned it down. I don't want to upset people.

[Shannon]

Yeah. And then they said that for any, like, public appearance, they would have to bring like three different options for him. So they would have like the mannequins, three different options for him to choose from.

[Zach Miko]

I think. I think there is a super villain in there.

[Alex Tomaselli]

I see it.

[Zach Miko]

That we are gonna, I think within maybe the next generation. Because he will live on think so

[Boris Hyken]

he will be one of the robot body.

[Zach Miko]

He will make himself AI or he will transfer his consciousness into something that lasts forever. And I think he will be the guinea pig to do it.

[Boris Hyken]

It's possible that. Do you see that interview with his wife talking about like the stuff about him asking Epstein for a pill to drug her?

[Zach Miko]

No, please. I know about that one. Yeah.

[Boris Hyken]

Oh, yeah. But like, they interviewed his wife afterwards. And that was like, probably the most damning part is that she left it like very open ended. Like, my husband and I had troubles. And like, if I remember correctly, like, she didn't deny that, like, any of that. You know what I mean? She kind of left him hanging, which means either it's true or like that she just really fucking hates him because she didn't do him any favors.

[Alex Tomaselli]

My other favorite Bill Gates clip is when they bring up Epstein. This is a while ago too. They bring up Epstein to him and he's like, well, I mean, like, yeah, look what happened to that guy. I mean, I don't want to speak ill, but like, he's not around anymore, you know? So like, I don't know. He's basically insinuating, like, right, hey, I don't, you know, I don't know. Want to associate?

[Boris Hyken]

Sure.

[Alex Tomaselli]

He's dead. So, you know, I, I might, you know.

[Zach Miko]

And he's also very politely going, I mean, yeah, he was murdered.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Exactly. He's insinuating like, hey, he, he, he was murdered.

[Boris Hyken]

You sure you want to go down.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah, you want to go down this path type thing. And you're like, okay, but he's a nerd about it too, so it still isn't that threatening. But you're like, well, it doesn't have to be. He has all the money.

[Boris Hyken]

I've heard like, there's a lot of legitimate, like medical establishment people and others that just don't like the fact that he medals and all that. Basically, like, even if you argue that, like he's trying to do good, even those people will be like, I get it. But also like, just fun and like, you don't need to be the decision maker with this kind of stuff.

[Zach Miko]

He likes the power part of it.

[Boris Hyken]

Oh, I'm sure. Yeah.

[Alex Tomaselli]

They all do. Like, musk is like that. They want to be famous and cool, but it's like, dude, you're not now. You're a piece of shit.

[Zach Miko]

Do you guys remember the was dated Kathy Griffin?

[Alex Tomaselli]

Who's the was? Yeah. Okay.

[Zach Miko]

When Kathy Griffin had her reality show the D List, was it?

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

She was dating Steve Wozniak.

[Boris Hyken]

Wow. And was is definitely the better of the pair.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah.

[Alex Tomaselli]

He was the, like the actual architecture.

[Boris Hyken]

Right.

[Alex Tomaselli]

He was the one who did this,

[Boris Hyken]

made the stuff and seemed less like kind of business hungry to dominate everybody.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah. I think he genuinely just dominated Kathy Griffiths. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to go out on and I know everybody's going to go, oh, she's a liberal con or whatever. I hate this whole people's politics deciding whether or not a lady is pretty. The people that say fucking AOC isn't hot.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

Or Tommy Lauren, you gotta fucking check yourself, dude. Aoc, yeah. Is a piece. Is anyone saying so many Republican dudes would be like, lose horse face bitch?

[Boris Hyken]

No, I did.

[Zach Miko]

So she's like Rosario Dawson. She's so hot.

[Boris Hyken]

She's obviously very conventionally beautiful.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

So many dudes. Ugly, crazy woman.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Oh, she's in great shape.

[Zach Miko]

And I would say up until a certain wall that Kathy Griffin was very fuckable, if not very hot.

[Boris Hyken]

I don't know if she was ever like pretty in the face, per se.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah.

[Boris Hyken]

But she kept herself. Yeah. Great body.

[Zach Miko]

Kept herself in very good shape.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

Up until I would say2010.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

She's got a little. I think she's also had health stuff.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah, yeah, she had a bunch.

[Boris Hyken]

She's probably had work done though, also, right? Yeah, I would guess a little bit.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah, a little bit. I hate this whole, like defining a woman's politics is her. Like, I don't care.

[Boris Hyken]

Right. Not at all. Like, can we stop pretending Liz Cheney's not hot?

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah, yeah. I've lied to women in the middle of a date. They're like, who'd you vote for? And I just. I already looked at their Instagram. I'm like, you know, whatever you did, like, they don't know. But I just. I say it.

[Zach Miko]

Dude cares. I don't think we talk about John McCain's daughter having giant tits enough.

[Boris Hyken]

John McCain's John McCain. Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

She's got some fucking honkaroos.

[Boris Hyken]

I'd have to. I'd have to look again.

[Zach Miko]

Am I wrong about that?

[Alex Tomaselli]

I just know her as the Tim Dillon thing.

[Boris Hyken]

So what happened with her and Tim Dillon?

[Zach Miko]

He. He impersonated it.

[Alex Tomaselli]

That's what I see.

[Zach Miko]

I remember right around when he died, there were pictures of her and she had some bubbly bubblies.

[Boris Hyken]

Busted him out for the funeral.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Okay.

[Boris Hyken]

Oh yeah, of course.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah. Hell yeah.

[Boris Hyken]

I.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Okay.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah. I mean, she. I see a little bit of Dick Cheney in the face.

[Zach Miko]

There was a John McCain.

[Boris Hyken]

John McCain, rather in the face there.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Mixed.

[Boris Hyken]

Mix the two of them up, but

[Alex Tomaselli]

you know, way worse.

[Zach Miko]

I'll do it and I'll go, hottest political relative, Ben Shapiro sister.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Oh, fuck. You beat me to it.

[Boris Hyken]

She's good looking.

[Zach Miko]

That is.

[Boris Hyken]

I didn't consider.

[Alex Tomaselli]

She's got two.

[Zach Miko]

That is the kind of woman you want her while you're having sex with to say, breed me.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah. Or just like, yeah, grab your face and just.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah, yeah. That is just. What's her. Is it Abby?

[Alex Tomaselli]

Who cares what her name is?

[Shannon]

Yes, Abby.

[Zach Miko]

That.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Oh, that's actually a. That's a very nice picture of her, but it's, it's.

[Boris Hyken]

It actually makes her tits look not as big in this photo. Cuz they're enormous.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Disrespectful tit picture of the Ben Shapiro sister.

[Zach Miko]

That was like a picture you'd show me in the car and be like, she's driving me, dude. We did a show we did a show in Connecticut, and now, like, she called me an asshole. She called all my friends. She started a mic called Mic. Then she calls me to talk shit about you, and I have to fucking. Yeah, yeah, okay. And then I go right to you. Cause I have no loyalty.

[Boris Hyken]

It sound like I still got a shot, though.

[Zach Miko]

Jesus.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Hey, man. What?

[Zach Miko]

Just. Just boys being boys.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Don't blame a hound for chasing foxes, dude.

[Zach Miko]

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[Shannon]

Just before we start, there's something just a little bit misleading there.

[Zach Miko]

Oh, no.

[Shannon]

But no, still great video. Still. Still great video, but the. The officer was not struck with a machete before he shot him.

[Zach Miko]

Okay, Relax.

[Boris Hyken]

Love a good, deep green house.

[Shannon]

Also, just in case you can't see it, it showed a little bit previous to this in another clip, but then it was cut off and he has. He's like holding a child. Oh, good, he has a machete and a child.

[Zach Miko]

It's okay. Pause. Is he gonna juggle? Because that would be a great if you had two machetes and a baby. That's a fucking act.

[Boris Hyken]

That's an act.

[Zach Miko]

That's top of fucking America's Got Talent. Shannon.

[Alex Tomaselli]

It's like A scene from the raid.

[Zach Miko]

Go, go, go. Move. He a good cop?

[Alex Tomaselli]

I was about to say. Did they hit the door or did he hit the door?

[Boris Hyken]

I can't even tell what's happening. Yeah, also, what's up with that gun? Why does it have a whole orange thing on there?

[Zach Miko]

I think that's a. A thing to break, breach.

[Boris Hyken]

I thought orange meant it's a fake gun. I gotta.

[Alex Tomaselli]

I think it was just to breach the door.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah, see, he's got the.

[Shannon]

I think it's a less lethal option. Like.

[Zach Miko]

Ah.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah, yeah.

[Boris Hyken]

So the orange does mean it's not a. Yeah, pepper.

[Zach Miko]

Like a bean bag.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah, it's like the gun they're supposed to use on the baby.

[Zach Miko]

Okay,

[Shannon]

so it's inside where the guy charges them and then he stabs an officer after he was already shot.

[Alex Tomaselli]

This is for real. Like, anyone played the game, ready or not.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah, it's just like it.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yep. Non lethal. Now he's down. Yeah, they pit him with some beanbags

[Shannon]

or pepper with the taser.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Nice. These cops, dude, having a great time. Except for the one you got. The other ones are like, dude, this is awesome. All I signed up for, smash the door, shoot a guy.

[Zach Miko]

I gotta tell you to have the wherewithal after somebody hit your officer with a machete to still non lethal them.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

Guys, can we start giving out awards for the ones that do it right?

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah, right.

[Zach Miko]

Like, listen, I understand there's a huge disparity and it's an issue and we need to punish the ones that do it wrong, but can we just go? Hey, yeah. Way to go. Protocol was established. And boys, everybody kept a calm head. We saved the baby and you non lethally take it. Who? Lesson. Lesson learned. Don't swing a machete at a cop.

[Shannon]

Just by FYI, the guy did still die from the gunshot.

[Zach Miko]

W. All right, well.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Oh, well.

[Zach Miko]

Well, you know what? Not out of them not trying.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah, I mean, yeah, dude, that's. That's what happens, man. You swing a machete at a cop and they shoot you. It's like.

[Boris Hyken]

Right? We give attempted murder. How about attempted not murder? Yeah, that was pretty good. We gave it a good try.

[Zach Miko]

They did their best, Shannon.

[Shannon]

I think they did a great job,

[Zach Miko]

baby.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Just like.

[Ken's Sister]

Hey.

[Boris Hyken]

It's like Michael Jackson.

[Alex Tomaselli]

That is wild.

[Shannon]

And none of the kids were hurt.

[Zach Miko]

Good.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

Then another great. Dude, where are people getting machete? Are they just have machetes at like Walmart?

[Boris Hyken]

For sure.

[Zach Miko]

That's crazy.

[Shannon]

I have one as one of my personal.

[Zach Miko]

How big is it?

[Shannon]

This?

[Zach Miko]

Oh, I Remember Shannon?

[Alex Tomaselli]

Keep doing that. But like, keep going like this and that.

[Zach Miko]

And I just remembered, I also. I have a sword.

[Alex Tomaselli]

I got a dagger in my room.

[Zach Miko]

I have a sword with my face on it that a fan sent to the face. I. You know what? Everybody did their bad by the. I've been watching gameplay of Ready or Not. Stressful for me to play.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Dude. It is stressful.

[Zach Miko]

The one in the gay nightclub that just.

[Alex Tomaselli]

The Pulse shooting, all the cell phones going off.

[Boris Hyken]

This a video game?

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

So, yeah, it's like a SWAT team game.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

And they have one level that's very obviously supposed to be the Pulse nightclub shooting.

[Boris Hyken]

Wow.

[Zach Miko]

After.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah, going in after.

[Zach Miko]

I remember reading an article where they finish them off.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

That they said the haunted Hannibal directive

[Alex Tomaselli]

at Pulse nightclub,

[Zach Miko]

the thing that haunted a lot of the cops was all the bodies on the floors. Phones were going off with people calling, saying, are you okay? And they said they could. And they. When you play the level in the game, just.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

You're just walking through the club and everyone's phones are going off on the

[Alex Tomaselli]

floor and it's distracting too, cuz you're trying to hear footsteps and stuff. Oh, it's so. It's such a good game.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah. Here we go.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Great game. And you kill a lot of pedophiles in this game, too. Open and clear.

[Zach Miko]

We're gonna get into that next.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Oh, it's so good, dude. It's a brutal, brutal shooter. But people will, like, be hiding behind stuff. They'll shoot you and. Or they'll. They'll put their hands up when you go to arrest them. They'll pull a knife out and they'll stab you. Oh, it's so much fun.

[Boris Hyken]

So here. There were. Were there multiple shooters at Pulse?

[Alex Tomaselli]

No, just one.

[Norwegian Man]

This is.

[Boris Hyken]

But it is, like, traumatized, like, loosely based on it.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah. You have to tell civilians to, like, get on the ground. It's so much fun. I was usually.

[Boris Hyken]

Why are they wrestling?

[Alex Tomaselli]

Because she. You just have to detain her so she's not a threat. You have to make sure she's not a threat.

[Boris Hyken]

Jeez, you just got through the shooting and now you got to get zip tied.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah, exactly.

[Boris Hyken]

In your own d. Yeah.

[Alex Tomaselli]

It's the best game, dude.

[Boris Hyken]

I mean, not just a club. They got a little bath house in here.

[Alex Tomaselli]

It's also extremely difficult if you get shot, like once you're dead.

[Zach Miko]

And now there's a level where you're just breaking up a child pornography ring.

[Alex Tomaselli]

A few. Yeah, a few different ones.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah. But it'll be like a bloody child's mattress with a camera in front of it. Yeah. Is one of the.

[Alex Tomaselli]

And then the guy will be like, I surrender. And you're like, just you, dude.

[Boris Hyken]

You.

[Zach Miko]

I don't give a. Yeah, you know what? On that one. Yeah. And you're nobody there.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah. Well, you're on camera. So your SWAT guy would be like, like, lieutenant, hold your fire. It's not. It's too lethal. I don't care.

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[Zach Miko]

All right, Shannon with this next woman with the California woman left with injuries. Can we show them the injuries and then they can guess what did it?

[Shannon]

Yeah, give me one second.

[Zach Miko]

So this is a California woman who got pretty beat up and I thought you guys could maybe guess the culprit. So I will give you the hint. Not a person.

[Boris Hyken]

Okay. This is a Spencer Pratt ad, right?

[Zach Miko]

Yes. This is a woman who got her shit rocked. And I want you to guess maybe what did it.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Huh.

[Boris Hyken]

Pitbull or monkey?

[Alex Tomaselli]

It's a nose.

[Zach Miko]

Nose. Black eye.

[Shannon]

She also had to get multiple stitches on her hand.

[Zach Miko]

Aha.

[Boris Hyken]

I feel like Pitbull. There'd be more open wounds.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah, maybe a pitbull would. She'd be in way worse shape. Unless it just got her once. Then it's. That makes sense. Maybe a Chihuahua. Maybe a little bit.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah.

[Boris Hyken]

I haven't seen like a. Like a monkey beat up beats up owner story.

[Alex Tomaselli]

A lot of people having pet raccoons nowadays.

[Zach Miko]

All right, I will give you another clue. Not a fuzzy animal.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Oh, okay.

[Zach Miko]

Okay.

[Boris Hyken]

But that takes. Our monkeys are fuzzy, I guess.

[Zach Miko]

Yes.

[Boris Hyken]

A bald cat.

[Zach Miko]

A parrot maybe you're getting closer.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah, I'm thinking an eagle.

[Zach Miko]

An E. Split the difference.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah. One. The condor. The one that's you.

[Boris Hyken]

Chicken.

[Zach Miko]

Because chickens are getting very.

[Boris Hyken]

Rooster. A duck.

[Alex Tomaselli]

You're.

[Zach Miko]

You're Red hot goose. Red hot goose.

[Boris Hyken]

Duck, chicken.

[Zach Miko]

Think other meals, right?

[Alex Tomaselli]

Goose, Turkey.

[Zach Miko]

Bang. Hey.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

Level entry after being attacked by wild turkeys.

[Alex Tomaselli]

I believe it.

[Zach Miko]

Shannon, give us a story.

[Boris Hyken]

What was she doing though? Her face looks kind of mean. Like, what was she doing to those turkeys?

[Zach Miko]

She's chasing them with cranberry sauce.

[Shannon]

So she's. She's 83 and she was just walking around her neighborhood when two of them attacked her from behind, which sent her crashing to the ground. She broke her glasses, the palm of her hand, her thumb. She bled in her nose. But they do say that this is. I pass turkeys every day and a turkey has never bothered me. But.

[Boris Hyken]

But yeah, I've heard. There goes the neighborhood. Turkeys moved in.

[Shannon]

But they say that it's. It's springtime now, so they're. It's kind of mating season. So they're a little bit more aggressive. But they were trying to file some sort of report with the city to like do something about the turkeys. And they're like. It's like we could do something if it was someone's dog, but we can't do it about just like wildlife in the area. So.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah, she's just healing like little dinonychus. Dude. They run up on you just.

[Zach Miko]

It's got to be hard not to laugh if you're sitting at the table

[Boris Hyken]

watching someone get the beaten or.

[Zach Miko]

No, just. That's your grandma. She's sitting there all up. It's like grandma got attacked by. That's got to be a funny Thanksgiving. Every time you walk and be like, are you okay? You nervous? Any turkeys in the Grandma's Revenge?

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah, that's. I was about to say that's an easy vengeance because the turkeys aren't quick. Could walk right up on them and

[Zach Miko]

just, you know, get one. Yeah. Me and. Me and Doug Uram trade videos of turkeys getting. It's. These guys have these arrowheads that look like little axes.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Miko]

And be a Doug Yeram. Send each other videos all the time of turkeys. Just be like. And then just got. Just nothing. All right.

[Boris Hyken]

Really rub it in. Get that turkey a pardon from the president.

[Zach Miko]

We got two more things I want to do real quick. This one was just fucking hilarious. And yeah, I haven't seen a good one of these in a while. Stunning video shows body fall out of bottom of casket at funeral as mourners scream.

[Alex Tomaselli]

This is just good old fashioned fun.

[Zach Miko]

This is just slapstick.

[Alex Tomaselli]

That's the meme, right?

[Boris Hyken]

The dance.

[Alex Tomaselli]

The Ugandans.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah, right, right.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Where's the sound?

[Boris Hyken]

They just put the casket on top of it.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Oh, God, no.

[Zach Miko]

What are the bottom. What is this thing? Made a paper mache?

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Came right out. Oh, yeah, that's a thin. That's thin wood.

[Zach Miko]

That looks like cardboard.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah.

[Boris Hyken]

IKEA casket.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah, that's baby blue casket too. This is. Yeah, this is a black funeral to the bone.

[Zach Miko]

Dude, dude, dude. Baby blue casket is such a great note.

[Alex Tomaselli]

I was like, whoa.

[Zach Miko]

He's got a casket to match his shoes and hat.

[Boris Hyken]

You gotta coordinate.

[Zach Miko]

I. I've shown people before. One of my favorite Instagram follows is a place that does wraps for cars and caskets.

[Boris Hyken]

Huh.

[Zach Miko]

Whoa. Like photos of the person, like with clouds and stuff behind them. And it is not a lot of old people. It'll be like, you know.

[Boris Hyken]

Right, right.

[Zach Miko]

D. Ray. Not a lot of 1992. Yeah.

[Boris Hyken]

It's like the Wire.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah. And then it'll be him. Like be like, make that money.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

They're all $$ in heaven, y'. All. Then there's a few and it'll be. It'll be checks and I'll just be sad.

[Alex Tomaselli]

They'll be like 19 angel went to heaven this day.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the idea of getting the coffin wrapped is pretty crazy because it's just going in the dirt. Just spend it on the tombstone.

[Boris Hyken]

Right?

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

Have that. Shannon, you don't have that by chance, do you?

[Shannon]

The coffin wraps?

[Zach Miko]

Yeah.

[Shannon]

So I.

[Boris Hyken]

Hold on.

[Shannon]

I found a Couple of them.

[Boris Hyken]

It's got to be so expensive, too. Just because everything's so.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah, it's got to be retarded.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yes, dude. Yes. With his. His big old, like, mutant hands. That rules.

[Zach Miko]

Oh, yeah, that's. That boy ain't right.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah, either.

[Boris Hyken]

That's like the rap got stretched.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Stretched. Or that he has, like, the boy's disease or something.

[Zach Miko]

All right. That's kind of sick.

[Boris Hyken]

This is, like, what Prince's casket should look like.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Looks like. I like the purple, and it's dark purple. Like a color, you know, like a carnival.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah, that's pretty sick, dude.

[Boris Hyken]

It's other.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yes, that's sick. That's what I want. That would be me, dude. All the chicks will come to my funeral with that.

[Boris Hyken]

It's also, like, someone making that decision on their behalf, you know? Like, they're too young. They didn't have a will yet. That asked for a wrapped casket. That's their, like, little brother. Put Spider man on it.

[Zach Miko]

The Mets colors are real now.

[Boris Hyken]

She got nice legs. You got to put the legs on the casket.

[Zach Miko]

Oh, no. It's a Florida Gators casket. I thought it was Mets colors. Forgive me. These people really like football.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah. Now, are there any white ones, Shannon? Any ones with white people on them?

[Shannon]

I mean, maybe the Spider man one was.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Any golf ones? No, Spider Man's been. You know, he's.

[Shannon]

Oh, wait, I found.

[Alex Tomaselli]

He's been co.

[Boris Hyken]

Opted.

[Shannon]

I found a white one. Hold on. Here you go.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah. It's as corny as.

[Zach Miko]

That's so sad.

[Alex Tomaselli]

It's so much worse.

[Boris Hyken]

Jesus.

[Zach Miko]

That's like. Somebody made that in, like, an art. That's decoupage.

[Alex Tomaselli]

They get the wood part right because

[Boris Hyken]

it's got the wood paneling to match their.

[Zach Miko]

Hey, we paid for the good wood. Make sure it shows. Somebody made that in their shop and was very proud of it. Let's do one or two more. Shannon, pull them up. Jesus Christ.

[Alex Tomaselli]

That girl's a slut.

[Boris Hyken]

Is that a hijab?

[Alex Tomaselli]

No. Yeah. Maybe not. No way they would do that to a girl. That hijab. The uncles would freak out at that funeral. What is this?

[Zach Miko]

That's fucking nuts, dude. Thank God. I mean, one thing.

[Alex Tomaselli]

They all died. Oh, my God.

[Boris Hyken]

They're going on tour.

[Zach Miko]

A lot of money.

[Boris Hyken]

This looks like the posters for, like, a Barclays comedy show on Fulton Street.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah, that's that. That only person missing from that is Jacob Williams. Hello.

[Alex Tomaselli]

We're here for the black family. I didn't know that. Well, obviously.

[Zach Miko]

Shout out, big pookie. And little Ray Ray for booking me on this funeral.

[Boris Hyken]

I did bring potato salad.

[Zach Miko]

For

[Boris Hyken]

Shout Out.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Jacob Williams.

[Zach Miko]

Classless.

[Alex Tomaselli]

I thought that was a fucking air hockey table.

[Zach Miko]

That would be a great thing to do with your body if you could get a clear top.

[Boris Hyken]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Miko]

And you make an air hockey table out of it.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah. Get formaldehyde it in there like Lenin.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah, dude, that would rule.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Oh, that gotta be good.

[Zach Miko]

That would be so much fun.

[Boris Hyken]

Custom pinball game with, like, your body inside there.

[Zach Miko]

Oh, yeah. That would be fun as shit, dude. Yeah.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Your head comes out if you hit the, like, center two.

[Zach Miko]

Ooh. Dude, these are fucking gross. All right, one more thing. And this really made me laugh, and it's not okay. It is what it is, which is. This is a Norwegian guy who claims he was Shannon. If I'm wrong, correct me. Left in India.

[Boris Hyken]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Miko]

He's got the thick accent and a. It's very funny to just watch a fat white guy do the voice. Trust me, I know. It's the head that he does the Bob, he does the. And if it's. It's a nature versus nurture thing. And I don't think he's doing a great impression. I legitimately think.

[Boris Hyken]

Oh, no, I think it's legit. Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

He is speaking the way, like, when you meet a white guy that speaks fucking potwa or whatever.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Or.

[Boris Hyken]

You know what's a big phenomenon for Russians is like, there's all these, like, Russians that look like Chinese people that I didn't see until, like, I, like, went to a couple funerals or something like, in my later years and saw, like, distant relatives. Because it's all these, like, you know, like, Uzbekistan or, like, Kazakhstan. Russians that are like.

[Alex Tomaselli]

They sure.

[Zach Miko]

Forget my ignorance. Is there, like, a hint of, like, Mongolian or something?

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah, yeah, for sure. I mean, just once you get Eastern enough Russian.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah.

[Boris Hyken]

All this overlap between, like. Yeah. Among, like, all the step peoples that kind of.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah. It's like telling the difference between Bigfoot and the Abominable Snowman.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

It's like we were all one thing at one point.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

But we were all on the Bering Strait.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

We just walk to Oregon.

[Boris Hyken]

But they just speak, like, pure Russian. And you just, like, do not expect that coming out of their mouth.

[Zach Miko]

Oh, yeah. I still. I do. I get weird out when a black guy has a British accent.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah. French.

[Zach Miko]

I never see it coming. Not in a million years. All right. But this guy really fucking tickled by pickle today, Shannon.

[Norwegian Man]

Fucking dangerous. There are not any people to just to play around with like.

[Boris Hyken]

He get in trouble at UCV for doing this?

[Norwegian Man]

I didn't know any better. I was a kid.

[Zach Miko]

No pause.

[Norwegian Man]

I was left behind. Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

What's the fuck's his name? Alex. Who's the super jewy one man show? Alex Edelman. Alex Edelman yelled at me at an open mic for doing it, for doing an Indian voice. And he was like, I just need, you know, you're above that and that brings people down. And I think doing a stereotypical accent on stage like that is really going to keep you from being able to be successful. And now he's got a TV show and Jerry Seinfeld does his one man show. So I guess he was right.

[Boris Hyken]

But I bet Seinfeld's done an Indian accent here and there.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

What is the deal? I don't know. Comedians in cabs, getting coffee, angrily.

[Boris Hyken]

Comedians and tuk tuks.

[Zach Miko]

Yeah. By the way, unrelated, before he finishes my. I call an Uber today. The guy picks me up and I live in a all Middle Eastern neighborhood. And I have a thing that happens to me every week or two where I'll get an Uber. The guy will go, my friend, I have picked you up before, say hi, how are you? I'm like, sorry, I gotta tip him this time. He goes, my friend, do you remember me? He goes, it's different car. Last time you're in my car, man. Hit us in back. Destroy my car. No pay. No pay. Oh, my friend, I have this new car. Two months I have you like, tell me all about the car.

[Boris Hyken]

Is that true? Do you remember that?

[Zach Miko]

I do remember getting back into this thing. We get the fucking tunnel. We are rear ended. No.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Oh my God.

[Zach Miko]

He hit the back. I went, I'm so sorry. I'm bad luck. He goes, no, not. Not your fault. He goes, they always have their phones. And he walks out. And I watch the Clash of the Titans.

[Intro/Outro Announcer]

Yes.

[Boris Hyken]

Motherfuck.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

Bitch.

[Boris Hyken]

Mother.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Is it that?

[Zach Miko]

No. Orthodox Jew.

[Boris Hyken]

Oh, yeah, that is.

[Zach Miko]

That's a Arab Uber driver.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah.

[Zach Miko]

And dude, the fuck. It was Godzilla versus King Kong. And who's paying who for what?

[Boris Hyken]

Incredible.

[Zach Miko]

We were at a dead stop, this guy hit us.

[Boris Hyken]

And you had to be like, I got a plan how we're going to divide up this situation. Trust me, fellas.

[Zach Miko]

Nailed him. And then the Jewish guy got out and he started doing that. He goes, my brother, my brother. No, no, no, no, no, no. And he was. He goes, I am not your brother.

[Boris Hyken]

But cousins. You guys are cousins?

[Zach Miko]

To be completely honest. Spin me around a few times. I don't know I'm getting in the wrong car, but I just said to the guy, I'm so sorry, but please, if I come up again, cancel the ride. I can't. I can't be in a car with you a third time. If something else happens, it's me.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Jesus.

[Zach Miko]

But that is my fifth time being rear ended in an Uber in like two years.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Jesus.

[Zach Miko]

I don't know why. It just happens to me all the time. All right, let's watch just a little more of this guy and then we're done.

[Norwegian Man]

My fucking mother in jail and father in Norway. Brothers already left. If you guys was not there, people from the slums were not there fucking helping me out, where I would be. I would be somewhere maybe my kidneys would have been removed or something. Never know. I'm not even joking about that because the lifestyle that I lived around these people are dangerous. There are not any people to just to play around with. You say the wrong word, you'll get beaten up. That's the kind of people. Yeah, I've done wrong things in life, but that was a survival. It was my life. I couldn't do anything else. I didn't have people to help me. These people.

[Zach Miko]

I want this kind of a movie so bad. We got to get a doc on this. I want to know the story. I want to see childhood pictures. I want to meet the family. That's a feature length documentary.

[Boris Hyken]

There's a. There's a book called Shantaram about like an escaped Australian convict who survives in India on his own. This guy could definitely play that guy.

[Zach Miko]

Oh, I want it so bad. Was there a second video? Him or. No, Shannon, there's another one. Yeah, let's check it out real quick.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Yeah, I've seen this.

[Norwegian Man]

I was lost between borders. Norwegian citizen, born in Norway, stocked in India, living on the streets, surviving, being a tourist guide, smoking on the road.

[Alex Tomaselli]

It's like, that's real Indian.

[Shannon]

I want to say, speak like India. That's the only way I'll believe it.

[Norwegian Man]

They're supposed to do the Finnish embassy when they helped me out of the country. They were supposed to report me to children's services because I was under 18. Did they do their job? No, they didn't do their job. Thanks to them, I don't have nothing. I even told the Norwegian government once they came back to Norway, I have no school. Then they should have done some kind of research, find out why don't I have school. What's the reason? No European. At least from a. One of the richest Countries in the world don't have schooling. There must be a reason to it why they don't do their background check. Because they know they are in the wrong. I was lost.

[Zach Miko]

It's incredible, dude. I can watch this guy talk all day.

[Boris Hyken]

Yeah, I would love to hear him speak Hindi though. For sure.

[Zach Miko]

If you guys know any more, send. If there's any more clips of this guy pop up, please follow. I want to. I want to get this guy to FaceTime in.

[Alex Tomaselli]

Get him on the pod.

[Zach Miko]

Get him on the pod, dog.

[Boris Hyken]

Right.

[Zach Miko]

Holy. He just hits. He gets hit by a train. All right. Thank you guys so much for tuning in. Thank you so much for my guest Boris and Alex. And we'll be back this Wednesday here on the morning zoo. Goodbye.

[Intro/Outro Announcer]

Bun's begun. No sleeping in. Noon is morning time to him. Papa Mako. Chug it down just like your favorite old beast.

[Zach Miko]

Clown.

[Intro/Outro Announcer]

Grab a cold bear and join the crew. It's Akamiko morning too. It's a Miko morning too.

[Shannon]

This is a paid message from GoFundMe. Meet Juan Naula. When his son was hospitalized for a viral infection, Juan started a GoFundMe to pay for medical expenses.

[M]

It was 5k to pay the bill for my son and I need only 22 hours. It was amazing. People really trust on GoFundMe.

[Shannon]

How did Juan raise $5,000 in less than a day? He posted a short video on GoFundMe telling his story in 30 seconds.

[M]

30 seconds. Be specific. Be quick and tell. What are you gonna be using the funds for? I was nervous to do because it doesn't feel okay to ask money. But you shouldn't be nervous. Sometimes you just have to do it and see the results. We were able to save my son's life thanks to gofundme that we still have my son with us.

[Shannon]

Start your GoFundMe today at gofundme.com that's gofundme.com gofundme.com this message reflects one person's experience.