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Steven DeMarco
Fill er up.
Zach
You're listening to the Gas Digital Network.
Akamiko
Wake up, it's time to go Zakamiko's gotta show Animals are here to play Jokes and guests you start your day till the sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs and cook some beef Laughter's waiting, don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky Grab a coffee and join the crew It's Akamiko Morning sou. Welcome.
Zach
Well, hello, it is a Monday here in New York City. We are coming to you live from the gas Digital studios. And it's me, your other boy, the international superstar saying welcome to the morning zoo. We are joined by two new friends to the program. Introducing for the first time ever here on the zoo, our new friends, Jimmy McCullough and Steven DeMarco. How you boys doing?
Jimmy McCullough
Good, man. How are you?
Zach
Thank you guys for being here, man.
Sponsor Announcer
What's up?
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, thanks for having us, man. I'm pumped.
Zach
My pleasure. Thank you for being here. Let's knock plugs out of the way. Let people know who you are. Dates, social media, anything you want to plug, go nuts.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, Steven DeMarco. You follow me on Instagram at the Steven DeMarco. Not the tell me lies guy. And yeah, my dates are there. Put all my dates up there. Check me out.
Jimmy McCullough
My name is Jimmy McCullough. All over the city right now. Don't get too many dates yet, but doing some stuff with the Keem woods on the road, I'm not really sure what those dates are yet, but Delaware last week. Thank you.
Zach
Thank you guys for coming in. If you guys want to see me live, go to punch up dot live. Zach, I know I got Philly in the books coming up, I believe July 10th or 11th and then, hey, follow me on everything. I'm kind of getting back into the swing of things. Just did my special, looking at the fine cut of it this week. So expect that by the end of the summer. And if you like the show, go to gas digital.com today. Use that promo code ZOO Z O O. You save a little bit of cash, you get your episodes early ad free and uncensored. You get access to the live chat and the archives, thousands of episodes of all your favorite cash shows from the last decade plus you get Friday's exclusive bonus episode. We do three of these a week,
Sponsor Announcer
and if you want to see all three, you got to subscribe.
Zach
So thank you so much to however you consume the program. All right, guys, let's keep this exactly as the show should be. Let's start out with a preview for a new reality TV show. I am a sucker for bad reality TV show TV shows. My favorite of the last few years has been a show called Little Women of Atlanta.
Shannon
Okay.
Zach
And it's essentially Real Housewives, but midgets.
Shannon
Nice.
Zach
And in Atlanta.
Jimmy McCullough
Okay.
Zach
Because they made Little Women of Hollywood. They went. You know, it would be great is these bitches were ratchet like these girls. I mean, because when you watch the other ones, they want to be like dancers and real people.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. You know, they have a dream.
Zach
These girls are. I mean, more than half of them. Them are professional twerkers.
Jimmy McCullough
Okay.
Zach
And they just shake their midget ass. And I'll tell you, I'm not opposed to it.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
Are they?
Steven DeMarco
I kind of like it.
Zach
They're pretty. All right.
Sponsor Announcer
Okay, Shannon, bring up the.
Zach
The tiny twins before. Before we get into this new show. Let's show the boys the tiny twins. They're pretty. All right.
Jimmy McCullough
It sounds like Trump came up with that. Tiny twins.
Zach
There's two sets of twins on it. There's a tiny twins, and then there's left cheek and right cheek.
Shannon
Oh, wait, sorry, I brought up left cheek and right cheek.
Zach
All right, let's look at left cheek and right cheek first.
Jimmy McCullough
Left cheek and right cheek.
Zach
Perfect.
Steven DeMarco
Oh, boy. Man, they're pretty.
Zach
All right.
Steven DeMarco
The one on the right is a brick house. She can get it.
Zach
They're both. Okay, So I love a midge. I love because to me. Because I'm into thick tricks. And to me, a fat girl is just a tall midget.
Steven DeMarco
Damn right. Damn right.
Zach
It's the same proportion. I know what I like. I like women that are built like the sand monsters in Mario too. You know, just like. Like ass, titties, head. That's it.
Steven DeMarco
No, I'm the same way.
Zach
Yeah. I don't.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, like whatever. James Harden to. I. I have the same taste as, like most rappers. Yeah. You ever see a 2 Chains music video?
Sponsor Announcer
Of course.
Steven DeMarco
Those are my types of.
Zach
So that was, I think, a revelation for me was what music video channel did you. Or did you even have a channel by the time you were growing up?
Jimmy McCullough
Oh, VH1. On YouTube, though.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, VH1. I was doing a lot of the. The YouTube. Was it vivo okay. Yeah, yeah. That was my.
Zach
How old are you guys?
Jimmy McCullough
I'm 24.
Steven DeMarco
I'm 29.
Zach
All right, so I'm 38. When I was in to date myself, we had MTV. MTV 2, VH1. That all still showed music videos. Yeah, MTV usually. Mostly only in the afternoon, but then there was a channel called the Box and the box was channel 99. It was music videos all day, but it was requests. So they would put all the call in music videos and you would call in and there would be a number you typed in for $5 to play with. To play whatever song you wanted.
Jimmy McCullough
It's like the Apple Music monthly payment.
Zach
And I realized that I don't know what the reasoning was, but for some reason between 6 and like 7:30 in the morning, it would just be Ass Shaking video.
Progressive Insurance Announcer
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
Didn't need any coffee.
Zach
Like, I had an alarm. Dude. It was the big Pimping video. Mystical Shake your ass and danger. It was like that era.
Steven DeMarco
Big Pimpin's a great one, by the way.
Zach
When they first. Well, there's a. The girl in Big Pimpin. I believe there's one Shaky ass too. Where it's the first time I think I had ever seen a really dark woman. Like.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
Not like Halle Berry dark. Like she hasn't been unlocked yet.
Steven DeMarco
You can't see her.
Zach
Yeah, yeah.
Steven DeMarco
Break a level.
Zach
So that to me was just prime jacket. That was to me, big sloppy black asses.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
Chad, do you have the tiny twins? There we go. That's the other set. And now those are solid ones.
Steven DeMarco
I'd stack them on top of each other. You know what I mean, Oreo?
Zach
They say Andre the Giant did that once with five women.
Steven DeMarco
Is that true?
Zach
Put them. And they put a finger in each like this. Yeah. Baseball.
Steven DeMarco
I would do that with these girls. Jazz hands with them on my finger.
Zach
Yeah, of course. I would do the fingerboard tricks.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Zach
I'd grind them and shit.
Steven DeMarco
Should I kick flip them?
Jimmy McCullough
That one comment. You're. You are beautiful ladies. Don't forget that. I wish I could meet you.
Zach
I love you both.
Steven DeMarco
And it's a woman named Tammy. You don't mean that.
Zach
Tammy. Tammy respects their struggle. Tammy's made some mistakes in life.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Zach
Because the tiny twins, they. They introduced one of my favorite. I don't know if you guys fuck with reality tv. One of my favorite tropes that I think is not discussed enough. Yeah. Is. So there's two. There is the expositional fat friend. Every girl in any reality show has a Fat friend.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
Who is only there to prompt her into discussing whatever the producer wants discussed.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
So she basically has a fat friend who desperately wants to be on tv.
Steven DeMarco
Kardashian.
Zach
Exactly. That would be a high level one.
Steven DeMarco
That's her role. She is the top of those.
Zach
Yeah. She would be the quintessential. But usually they have like a sloppy chick who's like their makeup artist.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
Or like, you know, their fucking roadman. Just of some bullshit.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
And they're always like, so what did
Sponsor Announcer
Devonte say to you?
Zach
Like, that kind of thing. Because there's somebody right off screen prompting them.
Steven DeMarco
Yes.
Zach
Or my preferred favorite, the sleepy black boyfriend.
Steven DeMarco
Oh, yeah, yeah. Lamar Odom.
Zach
And that is when one of the girls on the show has a black boyfriend who only filmed scenes in his pajamas and socks.
Jimmy McCullough
That was like Rob Kardashian on the
Zach
Crash and either in bed or playing Xbox.
Jimmy McCullough
Yes. Literally all three of those. That's all he did.
Zach
And that's the sleepy black. The sleep. I call the sleepy black boyfriend.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. There's a lot of those guys out there too.
Jimmy McCullough
Is a lot.
Zach
And I think it's vaguely racist because they could be like, hey, we're going out to dinner to shoot this. But they want to portray him as always in his pajamas.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. He's like, should I change? Like, actually, no.
Sponsor Announcer
No, you're fine like this.
Zach
Don't even look at her.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
Don't play your game.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. When she asks you about something, be a dick about it.
Zach
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
She's kind of a bitch, isn't she?
Zach
One of the tiny twins. It's got to be the first season.
Sponsor Announcer
She's like, me and my boyfriend have
Zach
been trying to get pregnant for the
Sponsor Announcer
last six months, and today I come back from the doctor and I am going to tell him I'm pregnant.
Progressive Insurance Announcer 2
And he.
Zach
And he's fucking playing Xbox and his socks, 2K. And she's like.
Sponsor Announcer
And the time went to the doctor and my test came back positive. I'm pregnant.
Zach
I'm going to have a baby. And he goes, you're what you want me to do about it? It's the best show ever. It's like they put a bunch of comedy writers in a room and went, what do you want to see midgets do?
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
Every episode.
Jimmy McCullough
What is he a little person too?
John
No.
Jimmy McCullough
Oh, he's a normal guy.
Zach
All the boyfriends are normal sized dudes. And every season somebody gets pregnant. And the big thing is, is the baby gonna also be a midget?
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
I mean, that's a huge that's all I'm thinking about now. I want to know now, was it a midget?
Zach
Funny enough, it died.
Steven DeMarco
Well, that's the out. That's the other guess. Yeah, you go, it's either gonna be a midget or. Yeah, someone's dying.
Zach
Yeah, somebody's died here. So, like every episode, it's like they're like, today we're gonna paint the ceiling. But just something. There is no reason, you know, Today, Today.
Sponsor Announcer
What were some of the other ones?
Zach
It's always like, ride something big. Like, it's always something stupid.
Steven DeMarco
Something a midget shouldn't be doing immediately.
Zach
Anyway, so there's a new show now, Little Singles.
Steven DeMarco
Okay.
Zach
I thought we would watch the trailer, maybe rank some.
Jimmy McCullough
Please.
Zach
Let's see how we feel, please, about this new crop of midges popping up. He's got a fatty.
Steven DeMarco
That's a bro.
John
We always find a way to make it work.
Steven DeMarco
What's dwarfism?
Jim Brewer
What do you mean, what's dwarfism?
Zach
Yes, dwarfism is a. Gosh, a skeletal
Jim Brewer
dysplasia that people are born with. Dwarfism is like me.
Zach
Let's get this party started.
John
I'm John, and I'm bringing all my single friends to Palm Springs. This whole group met at the Little People of America convention, which is an annual convention for people with dwarfism. We live in an average sized world. We're having like a party party.
Jim Brewer
You don't need this lady just staring at us.
John
Yeah, she fully is our chance. Live without judgment here. We're all the same and it's finally a chance to feel normal. We have Stephanie. She's friends with the entire little community. Everyone knows Steph. She's single, and I would love for her to find the man of her dreams.
Zach
Oh, my God.
John
Sammy is the life of the party. Oh, he's a wild card. Jj is a guy's girl. Go, jj.
Jim Brewer
Go, jj.
Akamiko
Go, jj.
Zach
Go, jJ.
John
I mean, I just farted in front of her the other day and she didn't mind.
Jim Brewer
I really got a poop. Sorry, I just farted. I really got a poop.
Zach
She's a 10.
Jim Brewer
She's a 10.
John
Krista. She's like Disney princess.
Jim Brewer
They look like an angel.
Steven DeMarco
Looks like the tooth Fairy.
Jim Brewer
The Tooth Fairy.
John
Such a cute. I don't like that innocent woman. Well, innocent to a point.
Jim Brewer
You need to step up if you're not honest with her. I will be honest with her.
John
She has skeletons in her closet. Everyone does.
Jim Brewer
I'm starting to get a little crush on somebody. Who is it? How do you think we're gonna keep this thing a secret, and I just want to set some ground rules. Everyone has fun. No one gets hurt. I've never been with a little person, ever.
Steven DeMarco
There's a first for everything.
Jim Brewer
I know there's a first for everything.
John
I honestly have a convention. I haven't even told Sammy, Steph, or Krista. I know my friends will be upset that I wasn't honest with them.
Jim Brewer
I mean, if someone's lying, we all deserve to know the truth. I don't give a. I care about
Steven DeMarco
a 10 year friendship.
Jim Brewer
Stop playing games. It's not fair and it's not okay.
Zach
All right. What could be a secret? Unless he's like, I'm eight years old.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Zach
What could be this revolutionary secret?
Jimmy McCullough
The life of the party is a 10 year old. That'd be so.
Steven DeMarco
Yes.
Zach
First of all, I feel like every guy on here saw the Miz and Wee man and went, I'm done making a personality. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's when I. That's just who I am.
Steven DeMarco
Well, I'll be honest, dude. I don't know if it's because I woke up late and I couldn't jerk off before I came here, but I'm horny for those ladies.
Zach
There's nothing wrong with that.
Steven DeMarco
They're hot as fuck. Am I tripping?
Zach
No, dude, there's something I. Listen, you came to the right place. If. If you would have fucking got ogle midgets.
John
Holy.
Zach
This is the spot to be. You've come to the right show.
Jimmy McCullough
Was that. That was a TL show?
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, it's TLC.
Jimmy McCullough
Didn't they.
Steven DeMarco
What, you think NBC's making that?
Jimmy McCullough
What was the. You might know this because, you know, farmer stuff, like 10 years ago was the.
Zach
The family, Little people, big world. Yes, that was tlc.
Steven DeMarco
They had some secrets, didn't they?
Zach
Didn't the dad kept getting tiny DUIs.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. Yeah.
Zach
He would like, get pulled over with like an airplane bottle of Jack Daniels on his fucking tractor and he would just be falling out of it. Yeah, you can't drink and drive your mood. That's too many things.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. Oh, for sure.
Jimmy McCullough
I think he was cheating on her too.
Steven DeMarco
He was cheating on her? Yeah, of course he was cheating on her. Got a DUI in his toy Hummer.
Jimmy McCullough
Some of the. The kids end up not being.
Zach
Yeah, sounds like we're tall.
Jimmy McCullough
10 kids, right?
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, some of them are tall. There's one tall. The oldest was a tall guy, regular guy, handsome. And he like, got jammed. Did he kill Somebody or something. He, like, did some up, and let's not even look it up. I'm pretty sure he killed a guy.
Zach
Yeah. Oh, man. Reality brings out, bro.
Steven DeMarco
By the way, for the Knicks games, there's a tiny woman who's like, under four foot. Tiny. And she went to Madison Square Garden.
Zach
Oh, in the. In the. The little bike, right?
Steven DeMarco
Yes. And then she was just twerking all night for money she made.
Jimmy McCullough
Did you think I'd see it?
Zach
Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's got a little. I saw a bunch of videos of black guys following her.
Steven DeMarco
Two black guys were like, what up, mom?
Zach
There is nothing a black guy with a cell phone will not record.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
If a black guy sees him and needs to express it.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
It will be filmed vertically.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. Yeah. Well, honestly, the black guys liking the midget kind of proves your theory.
Zach
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
You know that.
Zach
I mean, it's all the. The. The ratios are all there.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, yeah.
Zach
And it is a lot of ass, but not an intimidating amount of ass because relatively, I have enough dick.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Zach
That I can make that work.
Steven DeMarco
You can get it in there?
Zach
Yeah, yeah. I don't have to do math on it.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
Do the angles.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
I'm not sitting there with a protractor and a boner.
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Zach
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Zach
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Zach
program, but I got to say, I'm. I'm in 100% on the show. I'm going to be watching.
Steven DeMarco
Oh, yeah.
Zach
Somebody's fucking.
Steven DeMarco
Someone's fucking.
Zach
I want to know. I think Brad Williams said those major conventions Are just fuck parties, really.
Steven DeMarco
They get.
Zach
They go there and just go.
Jimmy McCullough
The birth rate.
Zach
Exactly. Yes.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. Can you pull up as a normal.
Zach
So it's discouraged.
Jimmy McCullough
Converting.
Zach
Discouraged because they think you're a fetishist.
Steven DeMarco
Well, yeah, I am.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Sponsor Announcer
Yes.
Zach
But it is discouraged. I remember when MTV did True Life. I'm a little person. The one girl had a normal sized boyfriend and he went to the convention and all the other women were like, get him out of here.
Steven DeMarco
The women were men. I feel like the men were.
Zach
The dudes were like, definitely not into it.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
But I think the chicks, they don't like feeling like an object.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, of course. They're like, it's because I'm tiny.
Zach
As opposed to at the convention where they're like, it's finally a level play. Like, I'm not a fetish here.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, yeah.
Zach
And supposedly. Yeah, Brad Williams said that, like, there's just orgies. Like.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
Eight midget orgies. Which is great because it's one bed.
Akamiko
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
Well, here, do you know how, like the famous thing where the kids stack each other.
Zach
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
Yes.
Steven DeMarco
Could you do like a reversal of that to sneak into the ninja convention?
Zach
Oh, you just.
Steven DeMarco
You.
Zach
You paint yourself up like a Megazord.
Jimmy McCullough
Don't open my jacket.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. I'm actually just walking on my knees.
Zach
Oh, like dorf. Yeah, that's the move.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
You glue shoes to your knees.
Steven DeMarco
Oh, no, I'm not six three.
Jimmy McCullough
No stilts under here.
Sponsor Announcer
It's gotta be.
Zach
I'm trying to think. I hooked. I made out with a midget.
Jimmy McCullough
Whoa.
Steven DeMarco
No way.
Zach
Many moons ago.
Steven DeMarco
How did that happen? Where'd you meet?
Zach
She was a singer in a band I was doing a show with.
Steven DeMarco
Whoa.
Zach
And then it got weird because she knocked her beer over and couldn't bend over to get it. And I didn't pick up on that fast enough. So I just watched her beer pour out on the floor. And she's like, why wouldn't you get that? I'm like, why wouldn't you get that? She's like, I can't bend over.
Steven DeMarco
Wait, they can't.
Zach
She had like boots on.
Steven DeMarco
Oh, gotcha.
Progressive Insurance Announcer
Okay.
Zach
And she was stuck vertical. She then got.
Steven DeMarco
Ha.
Zach
I know this girl. She got hat. She was. She at the time, like, to party.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
She got drunk, bit my friend and broke skin on the ankle. And I told. Yeah, yeah. Angrily bit him. And I told him to get it tattooed in of the teeth. Who has a midget bite?
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah, yeah.
Zach
And then I told him the next full moon he was going to be A midget, of course.
Steven DeMarco
Slowly just starts.
Zach
And then I watched her get cut off by the bartender after biting that guy.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
And the partner's like, I can't serve you anymore. You're drunk. And she's like, oh, okay. Can I tell you something? And he leaned over the bar, and she grabbed him by the collar and headbutted him in the nose and broke his nose and then got thrown out of the bar.
Steven DeMarco
That's a sexy girl, man.
Jimmy McCullough
That's insane.
Zach
Yeah, she was a singer of a band called Castle Grayskull.
Jimmy McCullough
Okay.
Steven DeMarco
Dude, they probably have thick skulls.
Zach
Oh, boy.
Steven DeMarco
Right?
Zach
Yeah, it's all head, dude.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah, that's like.
Zach
Oh, she knew that headbutt, dude. Yeah, she knew that headbutt was the move.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. Yeah.
Zach
It was not like, you ever watch a soccer hooligan throw a headbutt and you're like, oh, he's been.
Steven DeMarco
Yes.
Zach
That's. He's been waiting.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
Like, he got up one day and was like, I'm hitting somebody with a fucking headbutt.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, you.
Zach
She literally. She went with that big midget head went back, and she just fucking. Right on the bridge of the nose. Fucking clock this guy.
Steven DeMarco
Oh, my God. Bleeding.
Zach
Oh, yeah. She fucked him up.
Steven DeMarco
What's funny about that is for her to headbutt him, she would have to stand on a stool.
Sponsor Announcer
She was.
Zach
She was on the bar and she called him down. Just can't. I tell you something?
Jimmy McCullough
She got up the stool.
Zach
She got up and she got him to lean down and cracked him.
Steven DeMarco
She climbed, bro. He should be smarter. If a midget's climbing to get up to your face.
Zach
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
There's no good reason.
Steven DeMarco
You can't let him near your face, dude. If they're getting up, you gotta go, man.
Zach
Yeah. You gotta take the high ground. Like Star Wars.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. Bro, that bartender's Anakin.
Zach
Yeah.
Progressive Insurance Announcer 2
Were you.
Jimmy McCullough
Were you with them the whole night?
Zach
I was peripherally around for all of this.
Jimmy McCullough
How many. Like, how many drinks does it take for them to get.
Steven DeMarco
Midgets can drink, I heard. I'll put that on the record. I heard they have higher tolerance than you think.
Zach
I think the height to weight ratio does play in. Yeah, she had. Had. I mean, this girl had had a couple cocktails. Yeah, I've seen. I've seen it.
Jimmy McCullough
Well, she said water, you know.
Steven DeMarco
Well, you know, it's like, midgets are hot, but, you know, it's really a girl who's, like, almost a midget. You ever seen one of those, like,
Jimmy McCullough
a regular that just, like, they're like,
Zach
foot just hits the. The top.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Steven DeMarco
Yes.
Jimmy McCullough
That's like, not technically a midget, but, yeah, I have.
Zach
I spent a few evenings with a dominatrix who was 410.
Steven DeMarco
Oh, God, that's.
Zach
And that was pretty gnarly.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
You're tiny. What are you.
Shannon
Yeah, I'm like, just under five. 1.
Jimmy McCullough
What up?
Shannon
She got one of those almost little people.
Zach
Is she caked up? Shan's caked up.
Shannon
I'm also 75 years old.
Zach
No, Shannon's caked up. Shannon downplays it. He puts on a hoodie and acts like, yeah, Shannon's got.
Steven DeMarco
Also, 75 isn't going to curb me, I'm sure. Women.
Zach
Shannon. Shannon's got to go.
Steven DeMarco
I'm all about that guilt puss. Dude, I'm sorry.
Zach
Ever had a grandma?
Steven DeMarco
Never had a. I had a. I. Okay. So I believe I had a grandma. Twerk on me at the Nick Celebration.
Zach
Excellent.
Steven DeMarco
At that bar we went to, it was a mature black woman. Oh, yeah, definitely. Like 50 or 60.
Zach
Yeah. Chances are.
Steven DeMarco
Dude, she threw.
Zach
I'm not taking the under on her not being a grandma.
Steven DeMarco
The chances that she's a grandma is 100%.
Zach
And it's that she was out at the next celebration.
Steven DeMarco
Yes, she might have been.
Jimmy McCullough
It was a midtown bar. She's probably going back to Long island after.
Zach
Yeah.
John
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
You were there. We. He walked through the crowd. She tried to twerk on Jimmy. Jimmy was kind of racist about it. Yeah, seriously. I walked through. She threw it on me, and I just went like this. And then all the black dudes were like, yeah, go white. And then I. I left. I was like, I gotta go. And she looked back, and she was like, you ain't going nowhere. I'm like, listen, I gotta go. Very aggressive.
Jimmy McCullough
And I. I bought us two beers. It was 30 bucks. I was like, let's get out of here.
Zach
That I know.
Jimmy McCullough
Insane.
Zach
I can't justify it.
Jimmy McCullough
No, there's no way to. Yeah.
Zach
I was watching videos of people going ape, and it's just like.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
I love so many things. There's nothing I love that would make me want to set a bus on fire.
Steven DeMarco
Oh, but do I. It's.
Sponsor Announcer
I get.
Zach
I get the. The primal.
Steven DeMarco
No, I think, honestly, I went out.
Zach
I have no interest in being. And also, I'm old. Like, if I was in my 20s, I'd be like, all right, I want to see the chaos. Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
I wanted to be part of it. I want. I was really wanted to see a. Kids in a Spurs Jersey and just kick them into the street.
Zach
I think the last great day. I wish I had gone out to see New York City chaos was I wish I had gone to Union Square to watch fat girls cry when Trump won again.
Steven DeMarco
Oh, God, that's the best.
Zach
Because nothing.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
Listen, do I like him? No. But there is nothing funnier. I don't want to be then watching a fat liberal woman break down at the idea.
Steven DeMarco
Well, it's funny about that.
Zach
They were not right.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
That more than half the country disagreed with them on a binary question.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's funny is ironically, you kind of look like the most famous lady.
Zach
Oh, yeah. 100%. Yes, I am aware. Yes. I do have that look about me. I could probably go get. I could probably go sweep up some.
Steven DeMarco
Oh, for sure.
Zach
Yeah. If I said I was non binary, like, I'm just. Hey, I just started transitioning.
John
Yeah.
Sponsor Announcer
Yeah.
Zach
I'm still working on. And I could be either way.
John
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
I could really pick a post.
Steven DeMarco
Bro, you should have went to Union Square that day and just been like, I lost my rights. I can't believe this.
Zach
I worked at viacob at the time and the first time T Bird won, they sent a group email that no one had to come into work the next day if they needed the day to heal.
Steven DeMarco
Oh, my God.
Zach
And I was like, laughing hysterically.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
With like, one other dude. And it was just all these people crying. I remember one gay guy crying and I'm like, what are you fucking crying about? He's like, I mean, I'm just afraid Trump's going to make it illegal for me to exist. And I'm like, you're so low on his priorities.
Steven DeMarco
He doesn't give a fuck.
Zach
He doesn't give a. He. The only person whose dick he cares about is his. He could not give a shit about.
Steven DeMarco
And also, that doesn't mean that's it. He's going to make it illegal for me to exist.
Zach
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
What's that even mean?
Zach
It's just everyone wants to be a victim.
Steven DeMarco
It was funny. My mom was. My mom's super liberal and she was like, if Trump wins this picture.
Progressive Insurance Announcer
Hair.
John
Right.
Steven DeMarco
What's up?
Jimmy McCullough
She's pink hair.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. My mom has pink hair my whole life, like through elementary school. Yeah.
Sponsor Announcer
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
My mom was at Union Square.
Zach
Yeah. She comes to the meetings.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. But she would post Trump stuff on Facebook and she. I told her, I was like, I'm not going to vote. She's like, if he wins and you don't vote, he might Come get me. I'm like, mom, I'm going to check you into a hospital. You're. Why would you come up?
Jimmy McCullough
Your mom.
Steven DeMarco
Cuz she's talking, she goes, everyone knows I'm against Trump. He doesn't care.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah, yeah. Well, I think for your mom being upstate, she definitely feels like alone.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, yeah. People hate my mom because she's anti, not hate.
Zach
But you know, there are parts of my family used to live in Staten Island.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
And my wife's family at the house next to theirs had a. I don't know how to put it. A house decal. Like the intel. Forgive me, my phone's beeping. The entire fucking house was an American flag decal.
Steven DeMarco
Oh, that's sick.
Zach
Like the whole thing. They got a wraparound American flag decal
Steven DeMarco
permanently put on the house like it's a cyber truck. Yeah, dude, cyber truck.
Zach
Like it was a 22 year old black kid's coffin. Like they got the rap job and I loved it. And they were so mad. Like.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
And these people were just fucking out. Fucking blasted. Oh, yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
Seriously.
Zach
Yeah, yeah. Because they, their neighborhood had Shannon. You know the neighborhood I'm talking about that has the Fourth of July parade.
Shannon
Yeah. Is that new door? Yeah.
Zach
They have the, I guess the country's oldest Fourth of July parade. And they take it very seriously. To the point where my sister in law had like a vintage American because she's like a kooky goth broad. She's like the mom from Beetlejuice.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
And she had a vintage American flag and her neighbors put a new one on her front door, folded up with a note that said it was disrespectful to America to hang up an old flag. That makes no sense that it needs to be a new, untarnished flag.
Steven DeMarco
Bro, they love their country.
Progressive Insurance Announcer
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
That, that flag's been through a lot.
Zach
I thought that too.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
So they wound up. You ever watch somebody just quit social media because they can't stop arguing?
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
She was one of those. She literally just fought with her family members on Facebook.
John
Yes.
Zach
Until she deleted all her social media.
Steven DeMarco
Yes.
Zach
And now when I visit, there's just this bubble.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
Where they have only like the. He was on a boat and he threw a baby off of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you listen to a lady who called a hotline once, you know how many crazy. If you opened up a hotline about any celebrity.
John
Yeah.
Zach
And said, tip, if this man raped you in front of Satan.
Jimmy McCullough
Yes.
Zach
Call us.
Steven DeMarco
Someone's gonna say yes.
Zach
First of all, you're Gonna get a million pranks.
Jimmy McCullough
Yep.
Sponsor Announcer
Yeah.
Zach
And you're gonna get 500 schizophrenic people.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. Also, by the way, can we. If I've raped anyone in front of Satan, drop it. Yeah, drop in the comments, Marco. So, yeah, if I did that, I just want to know my baby. My name is Jimmy McCullough.
Zach
Yeah, it's.
Jim Brewer
Sure.
Zach
I don't like the guy, but, like, we don't need to make up either.
Steven DeMarco
Dude, the white. Did you guys see the fight last night? The UFC fight and the White House lawn?
Zach
I did not. You heard it was.
Steven DeMarco
That got. I. I saw highlights that got out of control.
Jimmy McCullough
Hear what the fighter said?
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, dude.
Zach
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Steven DeMarco
That one made. Feel bad. Well, it's just like. And I love saying she's a man, but. Yeah.
Sponsor Announcer
Yeah.
Zach
Who doesn't love saying Big Mike?
Steven DeMarco
But it's the most fun.
Zach
It's very funny. It's very funny.
Steven DeMarco
But for some reason, when I was on the White House lawn, I was like, I don't know, man. That's too. It's too much.
Zach
It did have. And listen, I love gaudy. I love redneck shit. It did have a hint of idiocracy to it.
Jimmy McCullough
No, that's. That's what I'm saying.
Zach
With the. The. The dirt bikes, the studs of the cars, and it's like.
Jimmy McCullough
Was it. It was two nights.
Zach
I think there was something else last night. The fight was last night.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
The dirt bike stuff was.
Zach
I think it was during the day.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
They were, like, jumping shit.
Sponsor Announcer
Wow.
Steven DeMarco
But dirt bike is very stupid. I mean, so many. Yeah. People die.
Zach
You know, it's especially funny that, like, as you remove us as a cultural identity, the biggest sports league in the world is going on right now.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
Sort of go, nah, let's just have a bunch of guys punch each other.
Steven DeMarco
I know. Yeah, that'll be good. Yeah. The World Cup.
Zach
I do love that restaurants in Jersey are having to put up. Why. Why you tip signs?
Steven DeMarco
Wait, really? Because you're not being tipped from all the.
Zach
From all the. All the people coming in for the Cup. They're putting up notices like, oh, yeah, what tipping means. Why? It's customary. Why? How to do the math on it.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. So that they can do the math.
Zach
So that they can't pretend because they know the tip.
Steven DeMarco
Well, I see a lot of Brazil shirts out there, so that makes sense.
Zach
They know. They know to tip. They're just not. They're gonna go, I'm gonna pretend I don't speak English. Yeah, it's like when you go talk to a Chinese person that, you know, speaks English and they do the dual face.
Akamiko
Yeah.
Sponsor Announcer
Like, fuck you.
Zach
I know.
Jimmy McCullough
Literally last week I got an Uber and I said, hey, what's up, man? Do you have a charger?
Steven DeMarco
No.
Jimmy McCullough
No English. I like, all right, all right. Charger, no English. Probably drove for like another 15 minutes. Got stuck at a red light. This homeless lady comes to the door, knocks on the window, is asking for money. He goes, sorry, I don't have any cash. I was like, you motherfucker. This whole time.
John
They.
Zach
Oh, they pull that.
Sponsor Announcer
I get a lot of ones that say they're deaf.
Zach
And then I get in there, hey, how are you?
Steven DeMarco
Oh, my God, I thought you were fucking.
Jimmy McCullough
Why did I get up on the. On the.
Zach
Yeah, I'll say your driver is deaf or hard of hearing. Please communicate through text only. And then I get it. And they're always like, hey, how you doing, dude?
Steven DeMarco
Oh, my God. I wouldn't want a driver who's deaf. Doesn't that seem.
Zach
I'll take. I mean, half of them are on fucking headphones or having a conversation anyway.
Steven DeMarco
Point. Speaking in Farsi.
Zach
Yeah. Did I tell you about the driver I had the other day who remembered me?
Shannon
I. Yes, that. The accident.
Zach
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got a car. The guy goes, I have you. A few months ago, I get in. Big accident.
Sponsor Announcer
New car.
Zach
New car, very nice.
Sponsor Announcer
They pay.
Zach
And then I was like, this guy's going to get hit in the car. Yeah, there's no way I don't get this guy hit again. And we're going. We're going to the fucking airport. He got rear ended. And I went, hey, man, if you ever get me again, just don't accept the. Yeah, don't turn me down. I'm sorry. This one's on me.
Jimmy McCullough
I think with the first time you were with him, it was an accident to. Twice.
Zach
Twice.
Akamiko
Wow.
Zach
Times Getting rear ended really wasn't his fault.
Steven DeMarco
It's very aggressive. Chinese guy. Another chance at driving, though.
Zach
I've been in a lot of bad ones. Yeah, I'll take Chinese guy. I'll take Chinese guy. Depending on the car.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
Chinese guy, passenger van, Top notch. Uber. No.
Sponsor Announcer
Top notch.
Steven DeMarco
Okay.
Zach
They've been dropping. They've been driving the passenger van.
Steven DeMarco
Oh, forever.
Zach
For 40 years.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
That's been their job.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
Tesla. I get nervous.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
Anything new, I get nervous. And then, of course, no matter how progressive you are, when you see it's a woman.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. The worst drivers are the African guys because they Pull up on an E bike. Yo, dude, get done. What the.
Zach
You can't drive and eat rice with your hands.
Steven DeMarco
He's bowing towards Mecca. I'm like, eyes on the road, please.
Zach
I do miss the chaos of the Uber share.
Jimmy McCullough
It's not a thing anymore.
Zach
It is, but it's not really worth it anymore. It used to be like a legit 20 or $30 less. Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
And now it's like, almost the same.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, bro. Last time I got into an Uber share, it was late as fuck, 2am this woman gets in, falls asleep on my shoulder, and when we get to her location, she wakes up and takes freaks the out. She goes, who the are you? And then she's like, what's going? Why are you in my Uber? I'm like, it's a share. She goes, I don't think I ordered a share. I was like, bro, you fell asleep. I was doing the nice guy thing too, where I go, all right, you can sleep. And she woke up. She's like, are you assaulting me?
Zach
I. I've had drunk people get in and say, it's not a share.
Steven DeMarco
Yes.
Zach
Chris Vega, the comic, has a great story of pulling up at the Marcy projects and a girl in her pajamas gets in at 3 in the morning. Very obviously a guy called an Uber for her.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
And she goes, what are you doing in this car? It's a share. She goes, he got me a share. Oh, hell no.
Sponsor Announcer
Screaming at him.
Steven DeMarco
Why do they do that? I feel like. Like this lady, I feel like she knew she got a share. She just wanted to act like she wasn't in, that she's probably hammered and
Jimmy McCullough
thought it was wait and save.
Steven DeMarco
Maybe even.
Jimmy McCullough
That's the. Pretty much the same price.
Steven DeMarco
I think she's trying to hide her brokenness, though.
Zach
I think sometimes you just click in the lowest number.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
When you're hammered.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, true.
Zach
And I had a. I've talked ad nauseam about it, so I won't. But I had. I had a very drunk gentleman try to service me the back.
Steven DeMarco
In the back of one.
Zach
Yeah. He was blacked out. He was out. He convinced himself I owned a record company because I had a misfits bomber jacket on. And he kept falling asleep. Where am I? And I go, you're in an Uber. And be like, all right, so what do you do? And I would go advertise, like, I'd never want to start a conversation. And he's like, oh, okay. And then he goes, tell me about your record company. And I was like, I don't own a record company because. Yeah, you're the president of a record company. I was like, no, I'm not. Then he tried to give me coke, which, had there not been a driver in the car, might have been a different story. Whatever he had did not work.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
And then he started massaging my inner thigh and asked if there was anything he could do to make the ride more comfortable for me.
Steven DeMarco
You're like, actually, that would be great.
Zach
I looked at the driver and he looked at me and went. And then we got rid of him and he called the driver 10 times after to ask if we would come up for dinner.
Steven DeMarco
Oh, my God.
Zach
So I think he was looking to get plowed out.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. That dude was like, please, I need
Zach
a fucking for bed. Shout out. Sebastian.
Steven DeMarco
His name.
Sponsor Announcer
Oh, yeah, Sebastian.
Zach
I'd never met another one. I've only met Sebastian's.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah, I was gonna say it. Everybody.
Zach
Sebastian.
Steven DeMarco
It's like, you own a record company, don't you? I want to get into music. Yeah.
Zach
He was like a hipster Russian kid.
Steven DeMarco
Oh, my God.
Zach
Definitely hiding it.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. Yeah, dude. Poor press guy.
Jim Brewer
Yeah.
Sponsor Announcer
Hey, guys, real quick.
Zach
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Zach
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Zach
All right, we got a bunch of other silly shit I want to look at real quick. This one really made me laugh. This is a Brazilian woman being searched by the police. And I just want to commend. When you got a down bitch, you've got a down bitch. And this woman is what I would call a ride or die Shannon. Oh, wait.
Steven DeMarco
Oh, God.
Zach
Dude, look at the size of that gun she had shoved up. Oh, look, she's taking it out.
Jimmy McCullough
Oh, he's doing the squat.
Steven DeMarco
Oh, man, that's huge. That's a Desert Eagle.
Zach
Dude, that's crazy. That's like a dirty hat. Well, it is a Dirty Harry gun.
Sponsor Announcer
Now,
Zach
that's a crazy.
Jimmy McCullough
What's the big gun in Fortnite? Exactly like that.
Zach
That's like a decal on it. It's like a derringer. Like, that's a crazy gun.
Steven DeMarco
I hope that thing was on safety. Holy Barrel up the puss.
Zach
That's crazy, dude.
Sponsor Announcer
And by the way, that means she hadn't had it there in a rush.
Steven DeMarco
Yes. Yeah.
Zach
Like, there was like, oh, shit, the cops are here. She's like, I got you, Miho.
Shannon
But they were. They were also riding on, like, a little motorcycle. So she was, like, sitting on it. On it. Okay, because it says that. I looked at the story after, and it said that the cops were tipped off that they had, like, an unregistered gun. And so they were pulled over while they were riding this motorcycle. And it was in her inner puss.
Steven DeMarco
Good for her, on pulling out herself, not making the cops do it.
Jimmy McCullough
Wait, Shannon, Was she, like, on the run or something?
Shannon
They claim that they had the gun because one of their family members had been robbed recently. So I guess someone just, like, ratted them out.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah. Get the biggest gun possible.
Zach
Yeah. Get the same.
Steven DeMarco
Keep it in your.
Zach
And just shove it at your puss.
Steven DeMarco
Imagine sleeping at night next to your girl.
Jimmy McCullough
I cannot afford to save.
Steven DeMarco
Put it in my.
Zach
Yeah, that. But, yeah, that is a great draw. Yeah, that's how you have to work on your draw.
Steven DeMarco
What's the lock? A quick draw out of the Red Dead style.
Zach
It spins a few times.
Steven DeMarco
Her juice is just coming off as it shoots.
Zach
That can't be good for the gun. No, it's.
Jimmy McCullough
Water drowned.
Sponsor Announcer
Yeah, it's.
Zach
Yeah, you gotta rest up the barrel.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
Exactly.
Zach
Yeah. You want to put it in a baggie?
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get that in a bag.
Zach
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what they're for.
Steven DeMarco
Holy fuck.
Jimmy McCullough
That is a rib condom.
Zach
How much do you think condoms are used for? Non sex? Like, they're used for smuggling as opposed to they're used for actual sex? I feel like that is the go to move for swallowing.
Progressive Insurance Announcer
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
Condom Swallow it or shoving up the butt.
Zach
I don't think I have the gag reflex to swallow a condom full of some.
Progressive Insurance Announcer
No.
Zach
I would get it in my mouth and go, this is a condom.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
Yes.
Zach
I can't uncon. This can't be. Not a condom in my mouth right now.
Jimmy McCullough
Definitely does not taste good. Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
I remember one time I took a flight to Massachusetts and I was bringing weed. So I put it in my butt.
Progressive Insurance Announcer
You serious?
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. And then, like, in. Halfway in. And the rest was. I couldn't get the whole thing up there.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
When I got that, when I got to Massachusetts, I learned I didn't have to do that. It was legal there. I just put weed in my butt for no reason.
Jimmy McCullough
I feel like they're fine with it nowadays. I used to put it in. Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
This was two years ago.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah. Now it doesn't.
Zach
Now I just put it in my check bag.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah. It's fine.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
I've never had an issue.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
I still put it in my butt. Just in case.
Zach
Just in case. Why not? I've had time. This is embarrassing. I believe I've heard. I've referred. I've heard Bobby Lee refer to it as the. The Korean tail.
Jim Brewer
Okay.
Zach
Every once in a while, I may have a dump that does some damage.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
And I remember Robin. Big. Big used to say, he put it in.
Steven DeMarco
Dude. I still do this.
Zach
If I got. If I. It's a little. I just know either I got some blood.
Steven DeMarco
Yep.
Zach
Or no matter how many wipes, like they say on Parks and Rec, it's like trying to wipe away a brown marker.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. Yeah.
Zach
It's like, I know that no matter how much I attend to this.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
It's not. It's a Lose, lose.
Jimmy McCullough
You gotta do this.
Zach
Sometimes I'll get in the shower. Oh, yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah. I'm a hairy guy, man. I have all the methods I do stuck.
Zach
I. I'm a big fan of washcloth in the shower. One for up.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
Yep.
Jimmy McCullough
That's great. One foot up is key, though. You know, Game.
Steven DeMarco
Well, if you're out in public, no bathroom.
Zach
Yeah. Sometimes you just wad up a bunch and throw it in there and go, this is a later problem.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Sponsor Announcer
You go.
Steven DeMarco
I'm gonna save 10 minutes.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
But then you go to TSA and you go. They're probably gonna wonder about this.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. A black lady's like, what the fuck is that?
Zach
I had to get ts. I got. I got a full Adam. Oh. Where I was at JSK the other day, and my dick ring set it off.
Steven DeMarco
Why, you got a dick ring?
Zach
Yeah, it was an old man and he said, what's this? And he pointed at the machine. And I just went, I have my penis pierced. And he went, all right, dude, by
Steven DeMarco
the way, if you want us, don't by the way. But if you did want to smuggle a bomb through the tsa, and they go, what is. Just say gay to the black dude. You're like, I get through, man. Go, go.
Zach
I've had two different old men go. I got to do the back of the hand. And they just do my dick.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
Which, whatever.
John
I get it.
Zach
I brought the thing.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
I did have one young black guy go, nah, son, not today. And walk around the entire terminal punching his hand. I watched him think about when his bills were due.
Jimmy McCullough
It's metal.
Zach
Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude.
Steven DeMarco
Is it in the hole?
Zach
Yeah, through the head.
Steven DeMarco
And may I ask a couple of follow ups?
Zach
Of course.
Steven DeMarco
I've never met a man with a. What's the jizz?
Zach
Like, is that.
Steven DeMarco
Does it come out unless you put your finger. They're like when you finger over a hose.
Zach
No, it's the same.
Jimmy McCullough
It's like a Chernobyl water. Just a little, little bit of metal.
Zach
Yeah, yeah. No, it's the same.
Steven DeMarco
What is. Is the increased pleasure for the woman.
Zach
I don't care. Yeah, that's never been.
Steven DeMarco
So you're just like, I'm that.
Zach
I've always wanted it since I knew you could do it.
Steven DeMarco
It's kind of like very alpha.
Zach
It always made sense to me.
Steven DeMarco
Put a hole in your piece.
John
How long.
Jimmy McCullough
How long have you had it?
Zach
Since I'm 18. I'm 38. Whoa. I've had it sanded up to a two. No, I got it. I'm back down to an eight.
Jimmy McCullough
Okay.
Zach
Okay. The two is a little cumbersome.
Jimmy McCullough
Too much?
Zach
Yeah, it was a lot. It was. It was. It was a fucking honking piece of metal.
Jimmy McCullough
So like, the two was like, like.
Zach
No, like. I don't know. Shannon, just bring up a two gauge.
Steven DeMarco
Can we see a. Yeah. Can you show us a Pierce pin?
Jimmy McCullough
Did it hurt?
Zach
Yeah, yeah, yeah, very bad.
Jimmy McCullough
Oh, did you hold on to it when you're like.
Zach
No, no. Two gauge, 2G space, CBR ring.
Steven DeMarco
Dude, you are so strong.
Jimmy McCullough
That's awesome.
Steven DeMarco
You like? I feel like when a woman gives birth, that's how I feel about you kissing the penis. I'm like, you're so brave.
Zach
No, I was just out of my mind.
Jimmy McCullough
It wasn't a C section, bro.
Steven DeMarco
I would at least put like, coke on my dick.
Zach
Yeah, that was. That was what I had.
Steven DeMarco
Oh, man.
Zach
If it was in my nose, it would be hard to talk to me.
Jimmy McCullough
Oh, okay.
Zach
Like, that's the way I would describe it.
Jimmy McCullough
Hard to eat.
Zach
Yeah. If it. No, you would look at me and be like, that's stupid.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
Like, it's. I would look like a Ninja Turtle villain.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
If that was in my face at any point.
Jimmy McCullough
Okay, so that was a two.
Sponsor Announcer
Yeah.
Zach
I'm back down to an eight, so it's probably a third of that width.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
Okay.
Steven DeMarco
I wish I could commit to bits because I would love to just put that in my penis just to show it to my girl and have her freak the out.
Zach
There we go. I've had times. The only time I've used it to frighten a stranger is if I'm at a urinal and there's a dude that I could tell is already weirded out by me. Yes, I will cling it on the side like a dinner bell. And one time a guy was just staring at me and he's looking at me, and I could tell he just hated my aura. I finished pissing and I banged it on the side and I went, ding, ting, ting.
Sponsor Announcer
All done.
Zach
And backed out smiling. And I went, that guy has to tell somebody that that happened now because I was leaving. I knew I was leaving that building.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
And I don't think anything I did was illegal.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
But now he just has to carry. Like, he has to tell other people in his life.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah. That.
Zach
That happened.
Steven DeMarco
Like, you're a prison guard. You're like, Time to eat, boys.
Zach
Jenner served.
John
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
Holy fuck, dude. Oh, God.
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Zach
all right, so God bless this Brazilian woman with the gun up.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
Good for her. Man. That is. That is a down.
Zach
This is a real fun one. This is a mayor discussing a police officer who was just murdered and she has a bit of a slip of the tongue.
Jimmy McCullough
Okay.
Zach
Shannon.
Jim Brewer
There are no words that can ease the pain of the family, the loved ones and the colleagues across the service. They are very much in our thoughts as they face this profound loss.
Zach
Remn if your family loses your cop dad. And here's Mayor Noodles over here.
Steven DeMarco
Dude.
Zach
I'm sure that on the news in Toronto.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. And our thoughts.
Zach
They must be just walking.
Jimmy McCullough
Mix up Fs and Ts. No, that's Ls and Rs.
Shannon
Right?
Sponsor Announcer
Yeah.
Zach
It's not at all. It's not at all. She just got. That was just. She was thinking about farts. That lady's like, oh, the fart.
Steven DeMarco
She's like, I got to. How did the cop die?
Zach
I believe he was murdered in the line of duty.
Steven DeMarco
Oh, my God.
Zach
To hit the farts, that must be like. If that's your family, you definitely at the funeral are like, he's in our farts.
Steven DeMarco
Absolutely.
Zach
You. You definitely go home from the funeral. You're in the car and somebody farts and they're like, dad.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah, that's him coming back now.
Steven DeMarco
I would fart every time I farted for a week. I. I'd be like, one up. That's for Pops. That's for Pops.
Zach
That's. That's a tough one to come back from.
Steven DeMarco
Oh, my God. Are they killing her online for this?
Zach
It's not that bad.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
I think she has other policies that she's currently having a rougher time with. Toronto's becoming a bit of a.
Steven DeMarco
As soon as that happened, she was like, fuck, I got to change the news. We're going to start giving money for gender affirming care.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah. What is, what's her title?
Zach
I believe that's the Mayor of Toronto.
Steven DeMarco
Oh, wow.
Zach
Right, Shannon.
Shannon
Yes.
Zach
Mayor of the fair.
Steven DeMarco
The fair. Farts, dude. Farts.
Jimmy McCullough
The fair of farts.
Zach
I Wonder if that could be a love.
Sponsor Announcer
Is that defamation?
Zach
Like, you've made my husband's death a laughingstock.
Steven DeMarco
Probably wouldn't you want that?
Zach
You know what I mean? He probably wouldn't.
Steven DeMarco
Okay. I've been having this debate. It's like, should you laugh at the.
Zach
You know, it's pretty hard to get shot as a cop in Toronto, right?
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, I would think so. They have. You think they'd get stabbed, Right?
Sponsor Announcer
It's like. Yeah.
Zach
When there's no guns, it's already a sad story.
Steven DeMarco
I grew up across the lake from Toronto.
Zach
Okay.
Steven DeMarco
And Canadians would always come over. Yeah. Canadians would always come over and be like, we're so jealous you guys have guns. Which was very awesome to me.
Jimmy McCullough
They don't have.
Steven DeMarco
No.
Zach
Apparently.
Steven DeMarco
No.
Jimmy McCullough
Or this king carries.
Steven DeMarco
I don't think so. No.
Jimmy McCullough
Okay.
Zach
Yeah. It's a different set of laws up there.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
I saw James Harden got arrested for having a gun.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. Talk about midget strippers. That guy would love those.
Jim Brewer
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
James Harden loves strippers, dude. Yeah. He had a gun.
Jimmy McCullough
I feel like.
Steven DeMarco
What's like Mitchell on the next Mitchell Robinson.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah. I feel like he would love some midgets in his big, big trucks.
Steven DeMarco
The American country.
Zach
Mayweather just get caught having a baby with a stripper.
Steven DeMarco
Probably that dude loves him too.
Zach
I think Mayweather just got got and he's getting got for like 40 grand a month.
Steven DeMarco
God, it's so funny when these guys keep falling for the pregnant, like, just keep fucking up. Do the Drake. Put hot sauce in her pussy, dude. Do whatever.
Zach
I mean, make sure she. Mayweather. It must be such an astronomical amount of money.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
Where he's like, I couldn't possibly chip away at this.
Steven DeMarco
Right.
Akamiko
Yeah.
Zach
I can just be real reckless with my comb.
Progressive Insurance Announcer
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
And then pay it.
Zach
True.
Steven DeMarco
Also, the strippers probably like, I want a million a month.
Zach
Oh, yeah.
Steven DeMarco
She's so much holding. Yeah.
Zach
She's got him in guard.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
And he can't read, so he's just signing, you know.
John
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
Was it a thing that, like, girls that would, like, get with Drake would, like, puncture like a hole.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. That's why I started doing the hot sauce.
Zach
Yeah. Well, they. I believe he said that they were scooping them out of the garbage.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
Putting them back in and like, flavor popping them back in. So he put hot sauce in it to kill it. But I'm pretty sure. That necessary. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Air kills come pretty quick. I think you've got like a five to ten minute window.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah. That's Good to know.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
If it drips down, it's like, it's okay.
Zach
Yeah, whatever.
Jimmy McCullough
By the time it gets there, it's.
Akamiko
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
Not even the.
Zach
The flavor also might have very athletic comb.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, absolutely.
Zach
It might be real resilient.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, you're really getting the shot.
Zach
It's not one of my loads that's. It's stopping at BUC EE's on the way.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, bro, my come dies before it comes out. Yeah.
Zach
I do not shoot loads.
Akamiko
Dude.
Zach
My gum dribbles out like you're feeding an old person.
Jimmy McCullough
Dude. I remember I had sex like a handful of times in high school, but I always had a condom on.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
I've been the, you know, the bit never came. So I genuinely was like, I think I'm gay. And then I remember the first time I had sex with no condom. I swear to God, one piece of went over the girl's head like onto the top couch so much and I was like, I'm so straight.
Zach
Dude.
Jimmy McCullough
That was awesome.
Zach
Yeah. Condom suck.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
It is funny for strippers to flavor pop the c from a celebrity. I heard that gay guys do that too. Just cuz they're so gay and love just flavor popping in their ass.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah. No, I don't know, I don't get
Sponsor Announcer
like why would you.
Jimmy McCullough
I don't know. Why would you want a kid with someone that does not want to give with you?
Zach
Because they get great. There's girls that just hang out at the hotel they know the NBA is going to be at.
Jim Brewer
Yeah.
Zach
And just go, well he's six, seven.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, bro. I would do that if I was
Zach
a girl because they're, they're, they're getting crazy checks.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
And by the way, the girls don't want the kid either.
Progressive Insurance Announcer
Dude.
Jimmy McCullough
That's what I'm saying.
Zach
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
They're not having the kid because they're like. I just, I feel like I'd be such a good mother.
Zach
No.
Sponsor Announcer
Yeah.
Zach
They're gone. I'm done.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
With this.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
I'm done getting dressed up. I'm done going out. I'm done sitting at a table with bottle service.
Steven DeMarco
Yes.
Zach
Some at 22 year old can bust a nut in me.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
And I'm gonna wear sweatpants forever.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Akamiko
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
Well, dude, it's funny because it will be like a lot of times it's like women in their late 30s, early 40s trying to get like NBA stars who are like 21 and those guys are easy to fool.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
If a MILF wanted my comment 20, Dude, I would have like so many kids, dude. I'd be like, dude, I feel like
Jimmy McCullough
Wemby probably let someone keep his commentary the game the other night.
Steven DeMarco
No.
Jimmy McCullough
I can't believe he walked out without shaking hands and then he.
Steven DeMarco
Did that piss you off?
Jimmy McCullough
He's a loser, dude.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, well, he's French. No one brings us up. He's a. He's arrogant because he's French.
Zach
Yeah, that'll do it.
Steven DeMarco
You know what I'm saying?
Jimmy McCullough
Didn't he, like, drop the. The mic on the post game?
Steven DeMarco
He did, yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
It was like, see you never. Some shit.
Steven DeMarco
It's funny. He's so tall that no one unders. No one realized how arrogant he's being up there. Like, if he sat. When he sits down and does an interview, you go, oh, this guy's fucking arrogant. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's always been that way.
Zach
Isn't that just like. Other than very rare occasions, if you're going to be exceptional at something.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, yeah.
Zach
You're probably kind of a narcissist. Like, they say Jordan's the worst person ever to be around.
Steven DeMarco
So bad.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
Like, people, like, dreaded having to do social things with him.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. Yeah. Especially. Jordan is a monster from the bat. I mean, Larry Bird used to call guys the N word. I'm pretty sure, dude, like, NBA stars are like.
Jimmy McCullough
When someone's wearing three in shorts. Yeah. Bulge is coming out, bro.
Steven DeMarco
Imagine a white. You're black, and a white guy calls you the N word while they're dropping. Dropping 50 points on you. That's goddess.
Zach
I mean, if anybody's earned it, it's that guy. If that's.
Jim Brewer
If.
Zach
If there was a way to get the past, it is technically to just dunk on them 40 and over.
Steven DeMarco
If you drop 40 points or over, fucking let it fly. Yeah.
Zach
You get it.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Sponsor Announcer
I think Tony Hawk hears it.
Jimmy McCullough
Really cool. I agree.
Sponsor Announcer
I think Tony Hawk gets it in a.
Zach
Not in a. He gets it in, like, a friendship.
Steven DeMarco
Sure, sure.
Zach
Because he is. Okay. I think there's definitely a subset of white guys that black people with hard.
Jimmy McCullough
Yes.
Steven DeMarco
And Tony Hawk's in there.
Zach
I go, Tony Hawk.
Sponsor Announcer
Mr. Bean.
Steven DeMarco
Love Mr. Bean.
Zach
Black people with Mr. Bean.
Jim Brewer
Hard.
Steven DeMarco
I was always wondering who's watching this Mr. Pinch.
Zach
And there's an. Oh, Jeff Hardy.
Steven DeMarco
That for sure. Dude. They love the shorts, man.
Zach
They love the. The. The John Cena, too.
Sponsor Announcer
John Cena.
Zach
Yes and no.
Jimmy McCullough
Okay.
Zach
Jeff Hardy.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, that's him.
Zach
Jeff. It's. It's. There's something very specific.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
About the colors and the.
John
The.
Zach
The. The Jumping the rest. The, the. The recklessness.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
Like they. They fuck with him hard.
Steven DeMarco
I. I could see that.
Zach
I could see like, Mr. I've seen OK with Karen, our office manager, about this. When you talk to black people, they all know Mr. Bean.
Sponsor Announcer
It's because it was on PBS
Steven DeMarco
and
Zach
people that grew up without cable had limited comedy options. And that was a funny slapstick thing that was on for free.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, yeah. Tony Hawk. Imagine the next Tony Hawk, pro skater. You know the intros to the games. It's the eyeball, the steak, the kid gets pulled in the suit.
Zach
You gotta collect the letters and it's the N word.
Steven DeMarco
You're grinding. You're like. I don't see the, er. Oh, no, it's an A.
Zach
We're good, we're good, we're good. That's a different difficulty meter.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sponsor Announcer
Ten stars.
Zach
Oh, you found the secret, er, tape.
Steven DeMarco
I open the new Grand Theft Auto game. You can do that?
Jimmy McCullough
Dude, what is that coming out?
Zach
I don't know if it is. I know. I think it will. I think it will be teased again forever. Again?
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah, I think it said maybe November or something, but I doubt it.
Zach
I think they lost a huge opportunity because I pictured what the trailer should be.
Steven DeMarco
And what is that?
Zach
Okay, stay with me here. Make a little movie screen in your mind.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
Okay. And all you got to have gta and then the six in Roman numerals.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
Vi.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
And then it fills in CE City. Tip. And it's Vice City now.
Steven DeMarco
Oh, fuck, that's sick as hell.
Zach
So it's six, but then the six is also the Vice.
Steven DeMarco
Vice City. Yeah. That's awesome.
Zach
And that's it. And it just starts in the 80s footage and you see the levels from Vice City and then you see them in HD now.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
And what all those places have become since the 80s, you use the Ray Liotta character as, like he just died or whatever. Y. And you're like his cousin or something that's coming to clean up. And all the rival gangs are fighting for his territory.
Steven DeMarco
That would go so hard. That's great.
Jimmy McCullough
I think they did too much with the trailer, actually. I agree with you. It's too much. I don't need showing off what they made.
Zach
I feel like I just want to. But I miss. And this is going to sound lame. Vice City was a fun story.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah, it was Liberty City too.
Zach
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
I didn't get that out of some of the later one. Like, I didn't. Switching between the people. I didn't.
Steven DeMarco
I didn't like that at all. Yeah, I didn't care for it.
Zach
I don't like all the. Like, I could go a little easier on the missions.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
A little more. Just have fun a little more.
John
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
Play it the way you want to play, because how many people really play it and how many people really play for 10 minutes and then go online? All right. I'm fucking blown shit up.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. All the time, I'm seeing how many
Zach
cops it takes to. I'm finding the best possible spot. You sit with a bazooka.
Steven DeMarco
Yes.
Zach
And seeing how many helicopters I could take before they killed me.
Steven DeMarco
That was like a ritual. Me and my friends would get out of High School. GTA 5 was out, go home. We'd smoke weed. We loaded up, we grabbed the sniper. We zoom in all the way on an old lady's face. We blow it off, and then we go, all right, you guys want to go for a walk?
Zach
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
That was the funniest.
Steven DeMarco
We just stopped playing.
Jimmy McCullough
My. My house was the house that had all the games. And my friends with, like, Catholic parents would come over and be like. Like, come on, let me play. Like, they don't let me play at home. And I'm like, now it's my turn. You died.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, dude. About gta, I remember my friend found out that our other friend's mom let us play, and his dad showed up just to be like, you're a terrible mother. How, like, scorned this woman. He was like, I heard they're killing strippers at your house.
Zach
My Cuban grandma. That's all she got from it. I remember her at the time. I hear about this game. Or you kill prostitute. I'm like. I went, yeah, you technically can. Yeah. And she goes. I was like, well, you don't have to. You just can.
Steven DeMarco
You can't. It's enough.
Zach
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. Just give her your money.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. And you don't only kill prostitutes. I mean, sure, every now and then you throw some dynamite on them and.
Sponsor Announcer
Yeah.
Zach
Come on.
Jimmy McCullough
I remember one time I was, like, probably in, like, seventh grade, and I was playing alone, and I was, like, in the strip club. Like, the game just came out, like, 2013, and there's three discs that came in. The Xbox.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
Or two. You know, you get both. Both in. Took forever to download, and it finally downloaded. I went straight to the strip club, and my dad came down to, like, do laundry, and I think he just looked at me, looked at. Looked at the screen and was just
Steven DeMarco
like, all right, Yeah, I found my son Looking at digital titties.
John
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
I was alone.
Zach
Oh, no.
Jimmy McCullough
I was just part of the mission.
Steven DeMarco
Dark basement.
Jimmy McCullough
Literally. I was in the basement just ripping it alone.
Steven DeMarco
You're sitting on the washer.
Jimmy McCullough
Big box tv.
Zach
I remember my dad specifically. If I was gonna watch a horror movie, he's like, is there gonna be titties in this?
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
Yeah, about an hour. And he'll be like, I'll be back.
John
Yeah.
Akamiko
Yeah.
Zach
He's not gonna sit and watch some Italian horror movie with like. Yeah. I was already watching, like obscure Italian horror.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
When I was like 13.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
My dad was like, just call me when there's gonna be titties. I'm not watching this with you.
Steven DeMarco
My dad say my dad loved western movies, so he'd always just rent a western movie that had titties in it. You just find one. It's awesome. I so many western.
Jimmy McCullough
I used to pause the Wolf of Wall street scene with her naked on the. That was. That was all I needed.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, I did that with Knocked Up. There's a scene where they go to Vegas.
Jimmy McCullough
Yes.
Steven DeMarco
And such a great rack. I remember I recorded it on the DirecTV. And then my mom worked at night, so she was sleeping during the day. And my. I was just in the living room because I thought no one was home. Just with the tits on the screen, you know? And my little sister walked in. Oh. And ran up and told my mom
Jimmy McCullough
I used to order. I forget the. It's like a porn star before, like pornhub and everything. Katie something.
Steven DeMarco
Kendra Lust.
Jimmy McCullough
No.
Steven DeMarco
Julianne Mia Khalifa.
Zach
You're thinking. I know. It's the girl from Zach and Mary Make a porno.
Jimmy McCullough
Yes.
Zach
Katie.
Jimmy McCullough
Yes.
Zach
Shannon, if you could bring it up. Very, very hot.
Jimmy McCullough
Not Morgan.
Zach
Yes. Katie.
Jimmy McCullough
Is it?
Zach
Yeah, I want to say it is.
Steven DeMarco
She used to do a TV show on hbo talking about blowjobs. Yeah. I'd stay up to watch that too.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But there was some you could buy. And I used to just blame it on my older brother, cuz it would come in my dad's card, bro.
Steven DeMarco
My dad would. My dad would.
Jimmy McCullough
That's Katie Morgan.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, dude. My dad would buy them on the DirecTV. This happened like twice. My dad would buy them in the middle of the night, and then my mom would get it on the bill.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
And he kept blaming me. My dad was like, it's Steve. My mom's. And it was like a Ebony film.
Zach
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
My mom's like, did you buy this? You know, 20 ebony. I was like, no. And I'm 16. So she doesn't believe me. So I had to, I had to catch my dad in the act to prove to my mother it wasn't me. And I got his ass too.
Zach
Jerking off with cocoa butter.
Jim Brewer
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
For real, dude.
Zach
Dad's like. Dad's like an African incense and jerking off with cocoa bro.
Steven DeMarco
We live on a grape farm in the middle of nowhere and my dad's watching. It's like. You would just. Would never have guessed it. Stupid.
Jimmy McCullough
Get the hell out of here.
Steven DeMarco
Was it.
Jimmy McCullough
What is it? What does that mean?
Sponsor Announcer
Dad, why does it smell like Jaquar Noir in here?
Jimmy McCullough
That's what your mother had.
Zach
It's like, there's Tennessee bottle flies in his head. I'm with my. Yeah, yeah, not now.
Steven DeMarco
Chain on.
Zach
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
Just my Republican dad. I'm like, dude, there's no black women in town. How do you. Did you stumble across this? Yeah, that was hard. And I didn't want to catch him, but I had to for my honor, of course. You know.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah, I get that.
Zach
See, I'm such a generation different than you guys. I had VHS's.
Jimmy McCullough
Oh, shit.
Zach
That would, if you rewound them too much on a scene, would start to warble.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
And I recently tried to watch a copy of a movie I had in high school on a crtv.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
And in every sex scene, it would start to come off the hinges in the VHS and start to like. Because I had rewound the first time I had ever seen a doggy style sex scene.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
I had rewound it 800 times.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
And just stood off, jerking off to the same 20 seconds, of course, for years.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
You know the scene from American Pie that was like the.
Steven DeMarco
Where he. The pie?
Jimmy McCullough
No, where he's. They like all leave the house and he's never drinking.
John
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
And they catch him.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah. He's like, I, I, me and my friends have never laughed so hard when they just did a, A close up shot of just his toes curling. So funny.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
I forget why. It was like the grandma left or
Steven DeMarco
something, came back, killed her. She died.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. Remember when the writing movies was that easy? Yeah.
Zach
I mean, there was an old lady in a movie. You're like, oh, she's gonna die.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, let's kill this.
Zach
She's gonna die. Hilariously.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. Yeah.
Zach
That's one of the funniest. That seventies show. Like the first season when you meet Red's mom and she's just a cunt. Yes to Kitty. And then they get in the car, he goes, you know, would it kill
Sponsor Announcer
you to be nice for once.
Zach
And she just drops dead. In the first episode, she said, yeah, yeah. Oh, so. And then he has to drive the body back. Like hereditary.
Steven DeMarco
The guy who wrote that shows From My Town. Oh, Dinner with him. It was sick.
Jimmy McCullough
I. I walked past. What's his name? Red.
Steven DeMarco
Kurt.
Zach
Yeah, yeah. Cartwood. Smith.
Steven DeMarco
Smith.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah. I was at Broadway one night, and he would just walk by with a cane, bro.
Steven DeMarco
The guy who wrote. His name's Mark Brazil, told a story where he came up in the Comedy Store with Kinison at La Jolla, and
Jimmy McCullough
he was like, really?
Steven DeMarco
Kinison? And there's a night where Kinison pulled an Uzi on him and accused him of his girlfriend.
Jimmy McCullough
Jesus Christ.
Jim Brewer
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
Have you ever done.
Zach
I have not.
Jimmy McCullough
I. I used to live in. I really want to do that room. I used to live in San Diego.
Zach
I have not. I know. I'm trying to set it up.
Sponsor Announcer
Up.
Progressive Insurance Announcer
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
It's awesome. I saw my f. It's like a. I saw my first show there when I was, like, 18. Who was it?
Steven DeMarco
Tell me your favorite comic, by the way.
Jimmy McCullough
My favorite probably Sodor. Honestly.
Steven DeMarco
No, no, no. Come on. Old guy. First comic he saw. Who you love.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah. Sebastian.
Steven DeMarco
Not Sebastian. You told me once. It made me laugh. The guy from Das and Confused.
Shannon
What the.
Steven DeMarco
That guy's name say? Say Jim Brewer. Oh, yeah, yeah, he told me.
Jimmy McCullough
Jim.
Progressive Insurance Announcer
No, Jim.
Zach
He's from Half Baked.
Steven DeMarco
Half Baked?
Zach
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
With Chappelle.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
No, Jim Brewer just had. It was. I recently found out it was his JFL tape. It was just. It's such a good bit about being, like, the bouncer of a stomach.
Zach
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
That, like.
Zach
And then. Yeah. And shows up.
Jimmy McCullough
Yes.
Zach
Okay, man. Come on. Nobody's looking, man.
Jimmy McCullough
So good.
Steven DeMarco
I thought that was an embarrassing best comic. That's why I brought him.
Zach
Okay, now maybe.
John
Now maybe.
Zach
He is definitely a. A post Covid crazy person.
Jimmy McCullough
Yes.
Steven DeMarco
Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Zach
That. It's like. It's like that, like, Rob Schneider thing where it's like.
Sponsor Announcer
That's insane.
Zach
This wasn't really clicking for me. Yeah. So let me be a pundit in personality more than I am funny. Like.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
It's a lot of the same shit on the left.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
Where it's like, well, I'm not getting huge laughs, so let me go for Clapter.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
Where these people go, oh, yes, he's right. Yes.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, yeah, good point.
Jim Brewer
Yeah.
Zach
And there's nothing, like. I don't want to see somebody make. Good point. Like, no, yeah. I don't want to have some drinks and watch somebody say stuff I agree with. Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
Especially, I guess, if you're a Republican. I mean, that would be nice, you know?
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, he's right. Well, that's kind of Ross.
Zach
No, Brewer was the man.
Akamiko
Brewer.
Zach
What? So, yeah, Brewer was with Barry Katz, who's a famous agent.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
If you've ever watched. If you ever watch his pod. If you ever watch an agent talk. Awesome. You gotta make yourself undeniable.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, I love saying that.
Zach
So Brewer had this idea for, like, a rock star tour, and he wanted a tour bus and a band and promote it like a rock show. Derek Katz set it all up. They had it ready to go. He drops Brewer a few months later. Rock show. Dane Cook. Oh, dude, the whole Dane Cook thing was just Jim Brewer's tour and they gave it to somebody else.
Steven DeMarco
Whoa.
Progressive Insurance Announcer
Holy.
John
I know.
Jimmy McCullough
He would do, like, the AC dc. Yeah. A couple years ago.
Zach
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He had, like, a full band for a little while.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
That was fun. And he was great. When he would be out on a. Yeah. Like, he. He would just come in and cry.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
He's just so fucking weird.
Zach
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
I loved him. Yeah. I still do. So.
Zach
Yeah, No, I like. I watch old. Old timey, like. Yeah, I'll watch. So my favorites are John Panette.
Shannon
Okay.
Zach
And Kevin Meaney. But I'll watch. Like, have you ever heard of, like, Bob Nelson?
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah, yeah. No, you know, I feel like something that's kind of slept on him, but also Bob Marley.
Zach
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
You ever seen him?
Zach
Yeah, yeah. People love him.
Jimmy McCullough
He's so good.
Steven DeMarco
No, he's got, like.
Zach
He almost has the Family Guy accent.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah, yeah.
Zach
He's got the very thick Boston.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, I like that.
Zach
Murdered, though.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
And like, Bob Nelson with the fucking football player thing. He. It's basically when you do shitty, the more you guys do, like, rogue, like, hotel clubs, like, you're gonna be like, this is. I know. Bananas. And Poughkeepsie was like that for a little while. They would have all the old signage.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
And have Polaroids of all the comics.
Steven DeMarco
Oh, sick.
Zach
So it'd be like, you know, Kevin, me. But they would, like, write a line from their acts like, you go home now. Dennis Miller.
Steven DeMarco
Dennis Miller. Yeah.
Zach
Gaffigan with hair.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, yeah. Young Gaffigan.
Sponsor Announcer
Yeah.
Zach
So you would see that.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
And those are. Those aren't bad get. I kind of romanticized. I just love doing a show where I can go back to my room between shows.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, yeah.
Zach
And not have to sit in the green room.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah, yeah.
Zach
That Is so nice.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
Why? What's wrong with the.
Zach
I just want to be alone sometimes.
Jimmy McCullough
I get it.
Zach
Especially if there's, like, that hour and a half gap.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. That's a long time.
Zach
Whereas, like, there's an hour between shows and then you go. Your feet, you know, the host and then the guest. Guest spot.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
I'd rather just fucking.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah. And then the local guy opening is like, hey, Zach, can we go talk
Sponsor Announcer
in the green room?
Zach
Worse on that one. Local opener.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
Older lady. And I remember the show very specifically. Had to be in the last five or six years.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
I'm featuring Lewis headlining because he's much funnier than me. And better. Comedy lady that's hosting mid-50s.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
You could tell she had not changed her act since the day she started. Yeah. Oh, her act. I swear to God, this was a real jumping off. This is a transition in her act. She goes, you guys heard of this game Ms. Pac Man?
Steven DeMarco
Like, it just came out.
Zach
And everyone's like, yeah. She's like, that's me on my period. I'm not. And then starts running across the stage eating, oh, God, that's me on my period. I'm Ms. Pac Man. And then moved on to a new bitch.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
Rob Schneider, everybody.
Zach
I want to. I heard. I heard. It's a video. Great video of Schneider opening for Adam Sandler and just going hard. Political and bombing.
Steven DeMarco
I saw that.
Zach
And you hear. And you hear Sandler on the. God. Mike go. That's all right, buddy. You hear Sandler just enough stage. Yeah, that's enough. Enough with this horseshit.
Jimmy McCullough
Dude.
Steven DeMarco
It's awesome that Sandler stands by him still. Like, he probably still brings him on the road after.
Zach
Yeah, he does.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
I think. I mean, that's. That's cool.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, that's.
Jimmy McCullough
He knows. I'm sure Rob Steiner's not a bad guy, like, at heart.
Sponsor Announcer
Yeah. But it's just.
Jimmy McCullough
Bro, calm down. You don't need to do all.
Zach
I think you get seduced by the attention again.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
And when you pick a lane like that and you're getting responses on both sides, you're getting the victory all.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
From whoever you're pissing off. And you're getting the praise. Yeah. It's got to feel similar to when you were famous and then.
Steven DeMarco
Sure, absolutely.
Jim Brewer
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
And you were. Because there is no, like, being on SNL in the 90s and being on SNL now. Like, you're on SNL in the 90s every weekend. You weren't on SNL.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
You could Sell out.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
A college, easily a big club. And the whole weekend just off of. I'm on snl.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, yeah.
Zach
Now there's people on SNL where I'm like, I don't know if they do comedy, like.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, yeah, I know.
Zach
I don't think they could do an hour. Yeah, yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
But it's like a guy, Michael Longfellow, like, he doesn't have like a crazy. Like, if Adam Sandler was Just try to like reverse it.
Jim Brewer
Right.
Jimmy McCullough
Like, Adam Sandler would have probably a million followers just back then being on SNL. I think Michael Longfellow has just like just over 100k or something. He's so funny. Yeah. He's such a good stand up. Yeah, but he. I feel like he didn't get recognized for that.
Zach
Yeah, but those were like. They used to have, like, those like, monsters. Snl. Like, like big colleges. And it would be Norm.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
Jay Moore, I think, Colin Quinn. Yes. Daryl Hammond. Like those type, like big, big Brewer. Like all those guys. And they would like, sell out like the col. Like, not just like a club, like a big theater.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Zach
But then people wouldn't know. They would only know snl.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
So if they were dirty, they would get fired.
John
Oh, yeah.
Zach
This is a great story they're telling. Norm. Don't. Don't be dirty and don't talk any. Don't say anything about gay people.
Steven DeMarco
Love this. Yeah, I know.
Zach
Yeah, it is opener. It's like, what's it like being gay?
Sponsor Announcer
Huh?
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
Getting fucked in the ass by another man.
Sponsor Announcer
Weird, huh?
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. Apparently there's, like, kids in the audience.
Zach
It was parents weekend.
Steven DeMarco
Oh, my God. Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
That's awesome.
Steven DeMarco
He's the goat for that.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
Oh, I love that.
Zach
All right, we'll do one more thing and we'll get out of here. All right, Here's a fun video to end on. More gun Pussy man falls from factory roof and has bad landing. Shannon.
Jimmy McCullough
So he doesn't die?
Zach
No, but we haven't picked if that's better or not.
Jimmy McCullough
Oh, God.
Steven DeMarco
Protecting people in places. Here's a man dying.
Jimmy McCullough
Oh, shit. Oh, my fucking God.
Steven DeMarco
He's gonna walk that off.
Jimmy McCullough
Where's his leg? Oh, it's still there.
Zach
I think we have a better. Do we have him actually falling on his.
Jimmy McCullough
There we go.
Zach
Here it is.
Jimmy McCullough
Oh, he was on the roof.
Shannon
Yeah, that's just showing that. So he fell through a skylight.
Zach
Yes. Oh, I want you to watch the landing.
Steven DeMarco
Dude, that thing went up his ass, I think.
Zach
Yes.
Steven DeMarco
Oh, nuts on the thing.
Zach
He landed Nuts first. He landed nuts and tank first.
Jimmy McCullough
You can't even feel the nuts.
Steven DeMarco
Because I've never seen someone fall only on their.
Zach
Like, that's got to be a bad day at work.
Steven DeMarco
Terrible.
Zach
Everyone knows, like, where's Steve?
Steven DeMarco
But that's the thing about factory workers. They're good at taking those falls. Like, I used to watch like that.
Zach
That's. I'm not coming in anymore fall, right?
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
That's like, bro, I am fucking playing GTA 5 home and shooting old people in the face all day.
Jimmy McCullough
It's like a Peter when he fell off the roof.
Steven DeMarco
I've worked construction jobs. I've seen dudes fall off ladders like that and just. Just get up quickly.
John
Oh.
Steven DeMarco
You know, like, some of those dudes can take a fall.
Jimmy McCullough
I think it's just like.
Zach
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
You work all day for your whole life.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
You get. You like. You know, with the power washing. I get shit over my hands. I'm cutting myself all the time.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
If I fell off a roof, I think I would. I'd probably stay there for a second on the floor.
Zach
I would see who saw.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who saw that.
Zach
I know a couple people. Of course it is the. There's two white trash. If you're a garbage person in general. Let's take white out of it. There's two statements that I know you're a bag of shit for.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
Which is either if you start a sentence with when I win the lottery and then explain a dream you have. Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
It's never gonna happen.
Zach
Instead of you saying, when I earn this month, when I. Yeah.
Jimmy McCullough
Work.
Zach
Earn this money or come up with something that earns me this money. It is when I win the lottery.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
Which is a big. My family statement.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Progressive Insurance Announcer
Dude.
Jimmy McCullough
My dad says it every time he plays.
Zach
Or when my settlement goes through.
Steven DeMarco
Yes, yes. The labor falls in a Walmart.
Zach
Yeah. When I'm. When I'm waiting on my saddle, that's how you know you're dealing with a real piece of shit.
Steven DeMarco
A scumbag.
Zach
Yeah. Because that means that there is an insurance agent following them around and taking pictures.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Zach
Going. Do they drop the cane when no one's there? Because I knew somebody that fell off a roof at a construction site and broke his back and it took like three years for him to get the settlement.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
And he knew, like, he would just see people get out of vans and be like, is he wearing his neck brace?
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
Does he have his cane? Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. You gotta be.
Sponsor Announcer
They'll spend the money.
Zach
They would have spent to pay you off. To not pay you off.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, absolutely. Just following you. You gotta be on at all times.
Jimmy McCullough
There's this guy in my hometown that walks around with the cane but doesn't need it.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, I got a couple of those.
Jimmy McCullough
I remember I do power washing on Long Island. I went to clean his house one time, I gave him an estimate, and he started pointing at things that needed to be cleaned with the cane. I wonder if that's.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, he looked around, he's like, today, let's do that. I wonder if that's what it is.
Zach
Yeah. I always said that the. The definition of garbage is somebody's waiting on a settlement. Somebody would start sentence with one lottery. Or if you have a friend or family member who's been hit by a train.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, yeah, that'd be you, bro. I. My family farms on a. They put a train through a backyard somewhere.
Zach
Like, that's a little different.
Steven DeMarco
So close.
Zach
Yeah, that's a little different.
Steven DeMarco
It fucked. Sucks, dude. But we are good. One of us is gonna get hit by a car for sure. It's only been cats so far. Cats and dogs.
Zach
Okay.
Steven DeMarco
Pretty soon we'll get. We'll get a person on there. Dude. What's funny about that fall is that dude fell through the roof. So for a couple seconds he's like. And then he lands on his dick. He's like.
Jim Brewer
Oh.
Zach
Well, the thing is, when you fall like that, it doesn't feel like you're falling.
Jimmy McCullough
It's so quick.
Zach
It feels like the floor is coming up at you.
Steven DeMarco
Oh, that's interesting. That's terrifying.
Zach
And you don't process it, right?
Jimmy McCullough
There's nothing you could do. Yeah.
Zach
And you're. You're on the floor before you, like. Yeah, I fell through the metal grating on the stairs a couple years ago because they had, like, wet cardboard in between the rails.
Steven DeMarco
Oh, my God.
Zach
And it was just the size of my foot.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
And I fell through like Winnie the Pooh.
Jimmy McCullough
So one foot, dude.
Zach
And I landed on my taint. And I was furious. Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
You're like, is my piercing okay?
Jimmy McCullough
Oh, my God.
Zach
I yelled at the poor dude. The guy was trying to help me out and I screamed, don't touch me. Somebody from down here come up and lift me out of it.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
Just my one fat leg dangling out of the ceiling.
Steven DeMarco
Well, it's funny is when you're in a moment like that, you are frustrated and someone's trying.
Zach
You don't know who to be mad at.
Steven DeMarco
Yes. My body was. We drone jump. There's a lake. We jumped off a break wall and we're trying to swim back because ladder wasn't there. And he was struggling and he looked like he was drowning and he was about to drown. And some woman on the break wall goes, he's drowning, he's drowning. And he got. He was like, shut up. I'm not drowning. He was like, mad.
Zach
Yeah. Because you're already mad and frustrated and now you don't want people to look at you.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, she's pointing at you.
Zach
There's nothing worse than eating in public.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah.
Zach
And then somebody tried old, old person like, let me help you, Shawny. And you're like, get away from me.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, I'm fine. This is so funny. Someone's trying to save your life and you're like,
Zach
before we get out of here, impossible to understand. Guys, new hairstyle, Shannon. And we'll get out on this.
Shannon
But I hate this so, so, so much.
Zach
Oh, so this is one of the island boys, right? No, no, it isn't.
Shannon
That's going to be them.
Zach
All right, so this guy, he's got a new haircut, but I. I sent it to Shannon. I could not tell you what this. If I didn't have subtitles here.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah.
Zach
I wouldn't tell you. This is English.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, they all talk like that, by the way. These guys don't come in with my life. I just took they wit and put
Akamiko
back in my head.
Zach
That's why they bout. But I'm not.
Steven DeMarco
I quit. I said, they stand. They still put in my hair.
Jimmy McCullough
I don't know what that was.
Zach
There can't be. That's not a affectation.
Sponsor Announcer
That's not English.
Zach
No, that's me. Like, that's almost like they're imitating people who are so up on lean.
Steven DeMarco
Yes, yes, That's.
Zach
Now they are not enunciating.
Steven DeMarco
Yes.
Zach
Because I don't know. Did you guys see the. The white kid that tried the pineapple? He goes, that big guy that.
Steven DeMarco
No, no, no. What's up about that? Is those kids like that kid right there, his father is probably like the healthcare CEO.
Jim Brewer
Yeah.
Steven DeMarco
Killed like all their dads are rich.
Sponsor Announcer
Yeah, of course. How else can you afford to do that?
Zach
Like that.
Steven DeMarco
Yeah. But then that means you coached yourself to talk like a retard.
Jimmy McCullough
I always say people that talk like that, straight ego.
Steven DeMarco
Nobody talks like that.
Jimmy McCullough
You talk like that to sound cool. So you're thinking about.
Zach
It's like when black guys do this. They go, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, I know you're. That's not your. Yeah, you're. You're copying someone you saw in a movie.
Jimmy McCullough
Yeah, yeah.
Steven DeMarco
If I met that kid, I would sell him coke with fentanyl in it.
Zach
100%.
Steven DeMarco
I would have two bags. Bags for good guys and bags for dudes.
Zach
Like, you happen to have the.
Jim Brewer
The.
Zach
The dabby guy, like the white kid trying the. We'll leave on this.
Jimmy McCullough
The.
Zach
You've seen the Kool Aid Pineapples that are, like, the big hit right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They. I have loved watching wiggers try them.
Steven DeMarco
Yes.
Akamiko
Yeah.
Zach
Because they. They want. They, like, lick their lips and they like. And this one kid tries it, and I'm told he's saying that bitch Gas.
Jimmy McCullough
Okay.
Zach
But it is none of those. He just goes, that big Gas.
John
Yeah.
Zach
And I can't figure out what he was like, because I know he went home and was like, father, I tried a delicious treat.
Steven DeMarco
Yes, exactly.
Sponsor Announcer
Have you had Kool Aid Pine?
Zach
This is exactly the kid. Maybe I tell him.
John
That, Big guy.
Zach
Oh, yeah.
Steven DeMarco
Appreciate it, bro.
Progressive Insurance Announcer
Yes, sir.
Jimmy McCullough
Yo, is that a drug deal that big?
Zach
Gas that big?
Steven DeMarco
Yeah, but also, he might be, like, doing that for safety. Like, who's ever selling that to him, you know? Like, the guy who's selling it is a hood dude, for sure.
Zach
500 a pineapple. 500. Wallet inspector.
Akamiko
Yeah, yeah.
Steven DeMarco
He's trying to get a discount. He's like, maybe if I talk like him.
Jimmy McCullough
That's a good idea.
Zach
All right, guys, that is today's show. Please support Jimmy McCullough and Stephen DeMarco. Go see him live.
Sponsor Announcer
Thank you so much to our friends in the booth.
Zach
And we'll be back on Wednesday here on the old Morning Zoo. Goodbye,
Akamiko
OB and join the crew. It's Acamiko morning, too. It's Acamiko morning, too.
Zac Amico's Morning Zoo – Episode 0121 Guests: Stephen DeMarco & Jimmy McCullough | June 19, 2026
On this wild, rapid-fire episode of Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo, Zac, joined by comedians Stephen DeMarco and Jimmy McCullough, delivers a hilarious deep-dive into the world of “bad” reality TV—especially those featuring little people—and launches into everything from infamous reality show tropes to personal stories about hookups, midget conventions, wild Uber rides, and the intersection of pop culture, sports, and working-class life. As always, the conversation bounces between unhinged, off-color humor and sharp, often nostalgic banter about formative experiences, generational differences, and the pure chaos of the modern world.
[01:10 – 02:55]
[02:57 – 15:39]
[15:40 – 18:11]
[18:41 – 21:12]
[21:55 – 23:01]
[23:32 – 28:24]
[31:15 – 36:14]
[38:18 – 46:44]
[48:43 – 50:59]
[51:57 – 56:36]
[60:27 – 68:17]
[71:00 – 75:45]
[75:34 – 80:38]
[81:24 – 84:40]
This episode encapsulates Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo at its rowdiest—raunchy, irreverent, but always quick-witted and unfiltered. Whether reminiscing about trash TV, riffing on sex and generational divides, or roasting viral oddities, the panel delivers a barrage of laughs, wild anecdotes, and old-school radio chaos.
For full context and the most out-of-pocket laughs, jump to:
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Zac Amico’s comedy special arriving late summer!