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A
Fill her up. You're listening to the gas digital network. Wake up, it's time to go Zakamiko's gotta show Animals are here to play Jokes and guests to start your day Tell the sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs and cook some beef Laughter's waiting, don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky Grab a coff and join the crew It's Zach Amico, Morning suit.
B
Well, hello, hello, hello. And a happy and joyous Monday to all you zoo files out there. It's your other boy, the international superstar, Zack Amico. And thank you so much for tuning in. We're coming to you live from New York City at the GAS Digital Studios. A rainy, dreary day, but thank God, because it broke up a hell of a heat wave. I have been melting. And I am very glad for this bit of a reprieve. And I am very glad for the men that are across the table from me, two of my favorite people from the Super Sally Joe's podcast, stalwart of the program, Mr. Joe Gorman.
C
What's up, man? Thanks for having me, Zach.
B
Thank you for being here. Next to him from the Burbs Bros, one of my absolute favorite people in the world, Mr. Dan St. Germain. How you doing?
A
Good to see you, buddy. This is definitely the Sweaty crew.
B
Yes, this is some Sweaty Betty's. How'd you guys get through the weekend? Okay. Rough.
A
It was okay. I didn't really. I don't even remember this weekend now. Excuse me. Jesus. Oh, I had a show on Friday night that was fine. Shout Out, Great Barrington and then the rest of it. I was just. I canceled my shows last night because of the flash flooding morning. I was sick and all this shit.
B
So, yeah, I was. I did a show, fourth of July in Brooklyn and for a wrestling show and did not know. Did you guys see the bridge caught on fire during the fireworks? Got stuck coming home, I think. Two and a half hours, gridlock, traffic.
A
Jesus Christ.
B
It was so bad, people were getting out of their cars and walking across the bridge.
A
Yeah, that's kind of what I wanted to avoid on Sunday last night. But last night was fine, I guess.
B
I saw. I did see someone get hit by a firework, which was pretty sick.
A
Well, what happened?
B
They were just on the bridge and a firework came up and got him right in the side of the head.
C
Oh, damn.
B
I watched him go down.
A
Did he. Did it. Did it weave any damage?
B
No, I think he just knocked him out.
A
Yeah.
C
New Urban Legend of New York now, or just.
B
Dude, I Don't know. The. I'm trying not to say anything inflammatory. My neighborhood's been very excited about the World Cup.
A
You made it inflammatory with the boss,
B
actually, specifically Middle Eastern countries, and I have a very good idea of when one of them wins, because it sounds like a complete. It's a riot.
A
Yeah.
B
Honking fire. And they. They light them on the block I'm on.
A
Yeah.
B
And hit my windows with them.
A
You kind of hope somebody like that wins, but it's not going to be. It's going to be either Argentina.
B
Yeah.
A
What's it called? Portugal. Or Spain. It seems like. Yeah.
D
Yeah.
A
3.
B
I mean, I think it's.
E
It's a.
C
It's a.
B
That's a tough climb, taking soccer from the Hispanics. Yeah, That's. It's there.
C
It's their thing.
B
Yeah. It's a. You know, it's. It's an upward battle.
C
Yeah.
A
Yeah. They want messier.
B
Yeah. I mean, I guess also Europe, some of, like, the. The hooligans. Cities.
C
Yeah.
A
England's doing well. Right. They just knocked out Mexico.
B
I just. I want. Did you see that? There's a footage of poor guy just crying when Mexico lost. No. He looks like the saddest.
A
I mean, it definitely seems like this country was more excited about Mexico than America.
B
Yes.
A
You know, which makes sense because there's more Mexican soccer fans than there are, I guess, Anglo socks. American socks are fans.
B
Dude. It's the. When you go to a hipster bar and they're watching the World cup and they're all wearing the shirts you get. Guys. I know you don't. I know you had to look for that jersey.
C
You had to go.
B
If you didn't buy it for this.
A
I just don't. You know, like, my bandwidth is. I love ufc. I don't really watch wrestling anymore because of wwe, but. And football. I don't think I can really add anything. Like, I was excited that people were excited about the Knicks, but I was a New Jersey Nets fan, and then they. I'm kind of a Lakers fan. I can't.
C
Like, I. I watch Murder Ball.
A
I didn't. Where do you watch that? Like, YouTube.
C
On the. On the dark web.
A
Wait, it's just the dark web with the wheelchair?
C
Yeah. It's like. It's too. It's like, it's too gross for the mainstream audiences.
A
That's like the tamest thing, you
D
know?
C
I'm sorry.
A
Sorry.
C
I like to pal around.
A
I was in my head, like, wow, Dark web's really cleaned itself up.
B
It's like A little more mainstream.
A
Usually if there's somebody in a wheelchair, they're getting fucking chainsawed on it.
B
So my wife frequently walks in on me watching the ocho. What's that, ESPN8.
A
Oh, there really.
B
There really is the Ocho.
A
Yeah.
B
And she'll walk me like, why are you watching kickball? Because it's the best thing on fucking TV right now, dude. Fucking. The hood has found professional kickball.
A
Yeah.
B
And they are doing well.
C
Kickball is the thing. Like, the whole class could play, dude.
B
This. The. The. Whatever the league is that's on the Ocho. It's fun and it's co ed.
C
Okay.
B
So every team has to have three. It's eight, but I think three women.
C
I feel like that's a fair game. That's like. It can be a little more co Ed.
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not, like, a lot of contact.
C
It's more about, like, figuring out, like, the momentum of the ball. And so there's a surprising amount of physics. Man. Damn. Kickball was fun.
B
It's a fun. It's a fun watch.
C
It's a fun. And it's, like, fun to play as a kid, too, because it's, like, the rules, but there's, like, a little less anxiety because it's a little easier to kick a ball than to hit a baseball.
A
You guys used to play mummy ball, like, dodgeball without, you know, silent dodgeballs.
B
No, I don't believe so.
A
Yeah. Someone else could get disqualified if you hit and somebody made.
C
Ow.
A
And then two people would be out.
B
No, I've never done that.
A
Real saw, sort of.
B
That's crazy. We did peg
A
your uncle raped.
B
You know, it's like handball, but if you missed, you get. You have to stand up against the wall with your hands to the wall, and they get to peg you.
C
Oh, that's crazy. Damn. Kids are psychotic sometimes for figuring out, like, these types of games.
B
And what else did. We. We had dodgeball, but we had. My high school had, like, little ball, like, little softer balls, but they whipped and they stung. They were, like, about that big.
A
You actually want a bigger ball for that?
B
Yes, 100%.
A
The smaller ones are just gonna leave a mark.
C
Yeah. It's so funny because I went to a very stereotypical California high school, and, like, it was just like, ultimate Frisbee and literally, like, hacky sack in the quad. So it's funny how, like, on the east coast, it's.
A
We had ultimate Frisbee on the northeast.
C
Yeah.
A
Yeah. People love that shit.
C
Yeah. It was fucking all the. All the potheads love that shit.
A
Yeah. Hacky Sack we had. Well, I was. I was part of a Hacky Sack Frisbee crew in high school for sure.
C
Little drum circle in there.
A
Little drums. I ended up. I once blacked out, and I ended up in a drum circle once next to this Korean kid. And I was just screaming, just screaming and going, ah. It was. It was wild.
C
Nice.
B
Where would. Where did that occur? A festival.
A
Oh, a gathering of the vibes.
B
Very nice.
A
Deep Banana Blackout was headlining to give you an idea of the weekend.
B
So I. I will be hosting or at least involved in the gathering of the Juggalos again this year.
C
Fuck, yeah.
A
Oh, my God. I'm so surprised.
B
The booker asked me.
A
Is there gonna be a Judy Garland impersonator of Pride too?
B
If I had any suggestions for comics that I think could headline.
A
Yeah.
B
And this might be the most watch the world burn suggestion I've ever had, and I really want to see if they do it. I suggested Brian Holtzman.
A
Oh, yeah. This would be nuts.
B
I mean it.
A
I think, dude, I'm available. If they're looking for anybody, I'll let him know.
B
Yeah, he could do a special there.
A
Yeah.
B
I mean, they might kill him or
A
he might kill me or they may love him.
B
That. I think he really might turn them.
C
I think he'll. I think they'll connect. They'll figure out what's going on.
A
I would love to do gathering once. I've never done it. I've heard some of the Derosa's story about is incredible.
B
Oh, by the way, they do not. They remember. I've had so many Juggalos come up to me.
A
They hate Joe still.
B
And they'll be like, you guys are funny, but your boy Joe Derosa, I'll be like, he's. I know Joe. Like, he's a nice guy. I'm like, yeah, that's some bullshit what he said about, like, they get. They do not play that shit. They get very upset about that.
A
Yeah, that documentary is amazing. But you know, the jugglers. The. The most juggler thing you could see is a lap dance where the girl never gets on the guy's lap because he's too fat and she's just grinding his stomach the whole time, you know, just. By the way, like, Zach is not fat at gathering of the jugglers.
B
I am a handsome. Well put together.
A
I'm fucking. If I show up, I'm gonna be Glenn fucking Powell, bro.
B
Dude, when you show up to the. The first thing I thought was, everyone there looks like Sid's toys in Toy Story. Like nobody's got all their original parts. It'll just be like a lady with one arm drinking a year. A pregnant lady smoking with like half an ear. No, no one made it out of the factory quite right.
A
Well, that's because they took away their factory jobs.
B
And then a lot of. Oh, there was the lady last year who had her husband's ashes in a dildo.
C
Oh, sick.
B
That was pretty sick.
A
Did she get so. So that was. I could see that. So like if a girl her with a dildo.
B
Yeah.
A
He felt like he was part of it still. Yeah.
B
I mean but the fun. For me, the funniest thing last year at the gathering was more of how did this happen? Not that it happened. It's so they have Ms. Juggle at I. The year before.
A
Can I get. Can I see the last Ms. Juggler?
B
Yeah, bring it up.
A
I would love to see.
B
So I was a judge the year before. I believe I was requested not to do that again because I found out you're not supposed to make fun of them.
A
Why did they fucking ask you to do it?
C
Yeah.
B
I don't know. But is there none too pleased.
A
Is it one of those contests where it's like a seven is gonna win?
B
No, they'll. It's a debit. That's a lot of rough ones. And then like four really hot chicks.
C
Oh, hell yeah.
A
There's a hot chick win.
C
Yeah, of course, dude.
B
All right.
C
Still America.
B
But not I believe last year a woman they called grandma one who was like a 70 year old woman.
C
Was it like a make a wish
B
thing now people were just having a blast. She was just a bad.
A
That's. Did she show her or no?
B
Oh yeah.
C
Oh, hell yeah.
A
I imagine there was that one. There was an old lady open mike. She used to show her pussy all the time.
B
Oh, bread justice.
A
Yeah.
C
Wait, was this like the creek in the cave?
B
Huh. And like she would scream about how
C
the government took her kid. Right? Yeah, she like was going up until Covid.
A
I'm just going to look, I'm going to give some unsolicited advice. If you were. If you're worried about getting your kids back from the government, showing your pussy at the creek in the cave may not be.
B
No, it's probably not the best.
A
The best route.
C
Don't worry about trying to get your kids back. Let's focus on making some new ones.
A
Yeah, right.
C
Let that thing go to waste.
B
I got called a transphobe because one of the women was trans. And I didn't say anything, but her talent was swallowing one of those long balloons. And I said, the trick here is getting it past the Adam's apple.
C
That's harmless.
B
Which apparently was very rude.
D
That's.
C
That's harmless.
B
I go. But I went. I just watched last year, and there was a girl trying to sing some song, and people threw an octopus at her.
A
Oh, I've won. Or a dead one.
B
It was dead.
C
Was she Japanese?
B
No, she was a white lady.
C
Oh.
B
But to me, the interesting part about that is they got an octave. We were landlocked. We were in Ohio.
A
Yeah.
B
That means they either brought an octopus in a cooler.
C
Yeah.
B
Or on the way, saw an octopus and went, we're going to use this for something. And then this girl they hated so much, they were like, break out the octopus.
A
That's the one where Tiwa Tequila almost got killed.
B
Yes. They threw poop at her.
A
Oh, poor T. Oh, I thought one. They threw batteries at her.
B
Oh, well, that's just. I think they threw everything at her, but I. They did, I believe, knock over a porta potty and throw duty at her.
C
Whoa.
A
Batteries is rough.
B
Yeah, that's. That's a bad one.
A
Yeah.
B
One of the rappers I introduced last year walked off stage after three songs.
A
They were that fucking shitty, huh?
B
I.
A
They were better with comedy, though.
B
They.
A
No, look, if I do it, can we just isolate that part and then we'll, like.
B
You got to embrace it. You got to embrace the chaos. Like, I up. Be trying to be, like, control. Too controlling. You got to just let them do what they're going to do because it's like a.
C
It's like a vibe. Right. It's just like when you're on it
B
one in the morning.
C
Yeah. So it's like.
B
It's slow outside after the band.
A
That's the worst type of. Because it's either people about to pass up for drink or people getting their second win from amphetamines.
B
And the whole time, I thought people were shushing me.
A
Yeah.
B
It was nitrous tanks filling up balloons.
A
Oh, man, that's amazing.
C
Tight.
A
What a relapse.
B
I'm trying to remember they booked a cut. Oh. This year. Very excited. The fact that they're not putting these two acts together as a super group is really bothering me. But it's the surviving member of Milli Vanilli.
C
Milli.
B
Whichever one is alive, Vanilli and Vanilla Ice will also be there.
A
Why don't they put those two together?
B
How do they not do Milli Vanilla Ice.
C
Yeah. It's Got to be Millie. Then.
A
I just started that new book, Regime Change by Maggie Haberman, and it's about all the Trump stuff that's been going on the last. But the opening is just fucking Stephen Miller just fucking jamming to Ice Ice, Baby at Mar a Lago. And I'm like, this is a Hieronymous Bosch painting, you know? Like, this is unbelievable. This is what our culture's become.
B
I try not to talk about T Bird too much on the show, but the stage falling apart while those girls were dancing at the celebration was pretty. Pretty funny and pretty much a microcosm of what you thought that was gonna
A
be, you know, though you never. There hasn't been a huge tragedy like the Travis Scott concert yet, you know, so that's the one.
B
Well, there had to be people there.
A
How many people have died at Juggle? It's not that many.
C
Not many.
A
Oh, okay.
B
We got a couple. I know one year they had a lake, and that was not.
A
That was the last lake here, I
B
believe the last day was dredging the lake. I think a lot of people did drugs and, like, went to swim and never came back.
C
That's a way to go.
B
I want to say there was one year, a number of years ago, before I ever went, where they had a couple ODs, imagine. And then they redid the security and the policies, and now they're. And now I think they have better, like, Narcan.
A
And imagine a father having to identify his dead daughter at gathering of the Juggle.
B
And then a lot of people, because of the heat and the just sheer amount of people, like, yeah, a lot of people pass out. Like, you'll see people get pulled out of the pit, and it's like, you'd be like, wow, is that makeup? Or are they dead?
A
Oh, my God.
C
And then, like, if their makeup smears, they're completely unidentifiable because it's like, who are they now?
D
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B
But if that's any. I mean, there's 15,000 people there. Somebody dies of a heart attack at every marathon.
C
Oh, yeah.
B
There's just that sheer amount and, like
C
a ton of people themselves at marathons.
A
Yeah.
B
Yes.
A
Or on this podcast.
C
This is like a marathon in a way.
A
Yeah.
C
I have an accelerated heart rate.
B
Yeah. I got a nicotine pouch here. And I'm on a coffee, so I'm ready.
A
Yeah, yeah. I'm. I'm gearing up myself.
B
Unfortunately, they've been better, but I know there was like, one dark year where they're like, we gotta get our together. But both ICP members have announced this year, please stop blowing up the porta potties, because if you guys do it again this year, we won't be able to get insurance anymore.
C
Oh. I mean, like, they got to get a better bathroom then.
A
Yeah, I think they'll stop then.
C
You got to know your audience well.
B
This is going to be in a new spot, and it's actually in Missouri and It's, I believe, 20 minutes from Branson.
C
Oh.
B
So I think I might go early to go see Yakov Smirnoff's one residency.
A
You should get him to play Juggalos. That would be.
B
I did suggest him.
A
Yeah, I don't think that's happening. I think he would turn that down, but.
B
Awesome.
A
Yeah, he would probably turn it down. Right.
B
He might kill.
A
He may.
B
They like, fate. Like, dude, they were pumped on Gilbert.
C
That's funny. In Soviet Russia, magnets wonder about you
B
that. I don't know if there's a person I've annoyed more in 20 minutes. When I met him, I mean, I could. He was so. Every single thing people say to him, I was just bugging the shit out of him.
C
But, like, I think it's different when, like, you're. You're a successful Next generation comic. So I think that's, like, it's better to have, like, you blow up and be like, oh, you're such an inspiration, than just some fucking weirdo from the middle of nowhere.
B
Oh, no, it wasn't that. It was me being a real dick. He was very. It was. He was very nice and, you know, said hello to him. But at one point, he'd come out of the bathroom and I was going in, and I went, whoa. In Sylvia, Russia, shit takes you. He looked at Me like, I was the biggest asshole.
A
Does he still have the accent anymore? No.
B
Yeah, he doesn't. He doesn't put it on.
A
Like, it still has it off stage.
C
It's like when Gilbert Godfrey would talk in his real voice.
B
Yeah, he still has it, but it's not, like, pronounced.
A
Who do you think is the comic? Who's the least like their stage Persona?
C
Bobcat.
A
He's not really does it anymore, though.
B
Yeah, he doesn't.
A
I know he hasn't really, but, I mean, that would be a good answer.
B
Gilbert was very quiet and real.
A
Gilbert? Yeah.
C
Probably Bob Saget.
A
Yeah, he was like that guy. He was just not like Danny Tanner.
C
No, he gave me, like, life advice at Skank Fest.
A
Oh, he's a nice dude, but he's still dirty.
C
He was explaining that sometimes, like, people fall out of love, and it's not the end.
A
Oh, man.
C
He took me out for ice cream.
A
Oh, my God. Did you. Were you going through a breakup?
C
Yeah. And then he said, if I ever die in a hotel room, it's a conspiracy theory, Just know that. I was like, all right, Mr. Tanner.
A
That is. Yeah. When you're getting love advice from Bob. Sag. It's a rough weekend, I think.
B
I'm trying to think who else. Jet Meme.
A
You saw Mencia is now going down for tax evasion.
B
Yeah.
A
Apparently there's something in it where they had to get his DNA for something, too. Oh.
C
Oh, give him a break. Come on. What'd he do? Stole some jokes.
B
I'm trying to think who else is like, a cat? So, like, there's a guy. I was talking about this on a show recently. There's a great video backstage at one of the old clubs of Dice and Louie Anderson hanging out. But Louie's got a beard, and he's talking like himself. And Dice is not doing Dice.
A
Dice. I'm gonna say Dice is my number one. Like, you met. You meet Dice backstage, and he's a nice old Jewish woman. You know, that's his Persona, what he did.
B
I. I hope I'm not blowing like
A
it's cold in here. You know, I don't want to blow up this spot.
B
But there was a club that Dice was gonna do, and he was walking around it. It was a hotel in Jersey. He was, what you guys need? You gotta get a popcorn machine. You're gonna make it. Sell everybody popcorn at the door. I'll take a cut. And he was trying to convince them to buy a popcorn machine.
A
He's. He's totally right, though.
C
But they get More drinks, because the
A
popcorn salt, it's a great idea. It's actually, I once. The one Overeaters Anonymous meeting I went to had a popcorn machine in it, and I'm like, you guys couldn't have found another room? This is horrifying.
B
Yeah, I'm dice is my vote. All right, we got to actually. Let's knock plugs out of the way real quick. Hit that plug music. Mr. Gorman.
C
Oh, my God. Well, thank you so much. You can follow me online at Joe W. Gorman on all platforms. I also have a podcast that I do weekly with my buddy Alex Tomaselli. It's called Super Celly Joe. So please subscribe to our YouTube channel. If you're on Spotify or itunes, please subscribe to us there. I really appreciate it. Thank you.
B
Fantastic. Mr. St. Germain.
A
I'm on tour in the fall and summer, so check all those dates out. I'm doing, like, opening for Alana Glazer and doing Joke World next month. And then I got some other stuff. Podcast Burbs Bros. And I'm filming my special at New York Comedy Festival in November. I'm trying to sell it out, guys. So please, once that ticket link goes live, please come see me.
B
Dan is one of the funniest guys in the world. Please support him and go see that show. Find me on Instagram at Zack is not funny. Punch up that live Zach Miko for all my dates. If you're listening live this Friday, I will be at the Punchline in Philadelphia with Jim Gillespie and Rob Stant. And the following day, I believe this is a private event, but I think there's a way to get into it. I will be doing the Sandman's podcast live at a dispensary in Philadelphia where we'll be watching ECW Heat Wave 96 for its 30th anniversary. And I'm gonna get to sit and with the Sandman. Should be pretty fun. Hey, if you're watching the show and you love it, go to gas digital.com today. Use my promo code, Zoo Z O O. You save a little bit of money off your subscription. You get your episodes early ad free and uncensored. You get access to the live chat and the archives of thousands of episodes of all your favorite Gas shows from over the last decade. And most importantly, you get our Friday bonus show. That's right. We do three of these a week, and if you want that third one, you gotta subscribe. But regardless of how you consume the program, thank you so much for tuning in. All right, this is mostly gonna Be crime stuff today.
C
Nice.
B
But let's start with some silly shit. I don't know the story behind this. Shannon, just put it on. So I don't know. Rey Mysterio, wrestler, called an eight year old girl a little bitch.
A
Nice being a little bitch. I know Ray personally and I assumed that she was being a little bitch. I would assume because he is the nicest guy.
B
I've only heard nice things. I would assume this is a fabrication or she really deserved it's a word for sure.
A
Like he was so kind to everybody. So Shannon, I can't believe I came so hard down on an eight year old.
C
No, I don't believe this little girl.
E
So I think you sent me that, sent me this act, but I'm. Yeah, I think so. But I'm going to just. I'll show it to you and then I don't know if you want me to read it, but somebody. So somebody posted on Reddit this story of when he was 8 years old. He said, I shared this story with my friends and even my family, but they always laugh it off. To be honest though, I would too. Anyway, Rey Mysterio was doing his regular entrance of talking to us while whispering things to us. He put a mask over my face and said do something with your life, you little bitch. And then continued to make his entrance. I never knew what he said to the rest of the kids, but he was straight up with me. Lol.
B
That's hilarious. That's awesome.
C
That's inspiring.
B
So much funnier than I thought it
A
would be gonna be. I mean look, if you hear wrestler, eight year old controversy, that's the best way it could end.
C
Yeah, yeah, he probably said it in Spanish too.
A
That's very funny. That's the funniest thing you can say to an 8 year old. And even the person reporting it thought was funny.
B
So yeah, everyone think that.
C
Yeah, it was like 10 years ago too. So like she's probably like 30 by
A
now and hopefully she did something with her life.
C
Probably not because she's trying to drag a girl.
B
Could have been a guy, could have
A
been a guy, could have been a boy.
C
Which is very funny.
B
Yeah, just call the kid a little.
C
That's like. And that's like a thing in like Mexican culture is like, you know.
A
Yeah, Raz and I just saw the pilot of Land Man. I know it. Yeah, but yeah, he's. Yeah, he's. I mean, you know, MJF calling you out, it's like whatever. But Rey Mysterio, the most loved baby face of all time calling you out. I mean, it's amazing.
B
I. I saw a thread the other day. It was a lady complaining she took her kids to a local wrestling show and she complained that the heels were mean to the kids. And then it was all these, like, moms being like, how could you take. How could you ever be mean to a child? I understand having a character, but leave the kids out of it. I'm like, you have never been to wrestling.
A
Yeah, the only one, I mean, the only one that was fucking and he got popped for it was that guy who spit on the kid.
B
Yeah, you can't.
A
And then, and then the dad just fucked the guy up.
B
Yeah. You can't assault and you can't get your ass kicked.
A
Yes.
B
She raja Rampages kid went to jail.
C
Yeah.
A
Did he go to jail?
B
I believe he got 90 days.
C
Oh, he'll be out in a week.
A
Oh, yeah, I was. I never really. I never really weighed in on that because it's like, it's just a den of liars.
B
Yes.
A
So you don't know what's scripted and what's not. But he fucked that guy up. I mean, he really fucked him up once.
B
He was very much knocked out. To keep throwing punches is very irresponsible.
A
Yeah.
B
With what we know now, Yes. I think any rational adult goes, oh, the show's over, like. Or I gotta, like, fake this.
A
Yeah.
B
To throw live rounds once somebody's unconscious, you're really risking killing them or severely.
A
Who would have thought? Having Rampage as a father doesn't set you up for success.
B
Having a dad named Rampage, legally named Rampage, had my favorite moment in the history of the Ultimate Fighter. When he was coaching, somebody jerked off in the shower and left. Come on the floor. And the next fighter stepped in it and was screaming. And Rampages goes, ah, you stepped in. Some kids raise them right.
A
That's the closest he's been to, is a good parent.
B
Hey, guys. Today's episode is brought to you by our great friends@ycratom.com home of the $60 kilo. That's right. Stop going to smoke shops, bodegas, or gas stations and getting a little bit of kratom at a time. And you don't even know what's in there. When you go to yocratum.com today, they have the best streams, the best customer service, and they're the marquee sponsor of everything we do here at Gas. If you don't use Kratom, don't start on my account. But if you use Kratom for One of its many, many benefits. There's only one place in the world, and there's no promo code needed. Why, it's already the best deal in the world. To kratom. 60 bucks for a whole kilo delivered right to your gosh darn door. So check them out today, guys. Yo, kratom.com. home of the $60 kilo. All right, let's get back into the program. All right, moving on. We've got two. We have a fun game here on the show.
C
Nice.
B
That started as called Indians versus Trains. Oh, yes, we've been a big fan. There's also Indians versus Power Lines. I like Indians versus Steamrollers. This is a new one.
A
Is this in India?
B
Oh, yeah, yeah.
C
It's on a reservation.
B
This is a firewalk.
C
Yeah.
B
So let's see how this goes.
A
And we're talking Indian dot. Indians, not. Oh, yes, yes.
E
All right, just real quick, before we start that, we have a new intro for the segment.
C
Oh, beautiful.
A
Oh, hell yeah. Indians voices. Nice work, Shannon.
C
I love that.
B
That made my day. Thank you. So this is Indians versus Firewalk.
A
First off, that's not a firewalk. That's just a fire. That's it.
C
Bye, buddy.
A
Did the person die?
C
He's coming out. He's like Anakin Skywalker.
A
Oh, my God.
C
Oh, my God.
B
I hate you.
A
Holy.
B
Oh, my. I mean, we gotta watch it again.
C
Play it at 1/4 speed.
B
Our participant tragically lost bounce and fell directly into a massive pit of burning coals. From a thermal dynamic perspective, the extreme kinetic impact with the bed of active embers rapidly accelerates conducting heat transfer to the body. Catastrophically worsened because oil present within the pit ignited upon impact.
A
Well, it's called tragic passing.
B
So let's see one more time.
C
So it was all the.
A
I would not call it. I would call it a brutal passing. I don't know if it's tragic.
B
It's crazy how much of him goes
C
up so quick immediately. Yeah, he gets all the curry in his system. Look at that.
B
Do you think in the obituary, they put the spicy symbol next to him?
C
Yeah, three little hollow peppers next to his name.
A
A real vinda who's who.
B
He's a real vindaloo.
A
I gotta apologize. I'm on Seroquel, and it's the worst type of drug to be on because, you know Cerequil? Well, they gave it to me. I'm totally sober now. Again, I'm like 48 days. No weed, nothing. Yeah, but I got put on cereal, which is like a night aid, and it doesn't change your personality. It just makes you exhausted, like, all the time. It's the worst type of drug.
B
I've been on one or two of those myself.
A
And you're just like.
B
Have you ever been a fall risk?
A
Not yet, but it's something I look forward to.
B
I was.
A
I was with you when you were a followers.
B
I was on a medication about a year and a half ago.
A
You were a virus and.
B
Yeah, I had to tell people because I would just fucking. I was. If. When I woke up in the morning, Yeah. I couldn't get out of bed for 10 minutes. They told me, oh, my God. Because I wouldn't have the balance.
A
Wow.
B
And then every once in a while, I would just take a header. That's when we were torn European. And I had to warn everybody because I was like, I'm gonna fall in the airplane. And oh, boy, did I. Yeah.
A
Oh, God. I remember I was opening for Alana once and I fucked up my leg and she had to push me around in a wheelchair. That was pretty well, you know, I paid it forward.
B
I just realized Dan pushed me around the last day. He helped me out, man.
A
Wheelchair bros.
E
Thank you.
A
It was a murder ball situation.
B
So we have one more. So this is a series of videos. I think some people think they might be fake. I don't care. And it would appear there's a road or two in Bangladesh where kids are kind of blocking the road and stopping motorcycles and saying they want. Nobody dies. Don't worry. This is violent. And they are trying to hustle people, saying that you need to pay to cross. Or if you have a GoPro on, you need to pay us because we're on your camera and they surround you and try and take your bike and shit. Kind of like the bubblegum kids in a hostel.
A
Yeah.
B
Which I will say very real. When I was in France, they warned us about those kids. And they surround you.
A
Yeah.
B
Like 10 of them. And they're all, like, picking at you. Like you. I put my wallet. My friend Josh's wife made me a wrist strap with a secret zipper that I put my wallet, my keys, my wallet and my passport in and my money so that I didn't have pockets to pick. But what happens is that either that or the mom would come and try and sell you like trinkets.
C
Yeah.
B
And the kids would surround you and go to pick your pockets.
A
I heard of the throwing the baby thing.
C
Yeah. You got to swat the baby away. Yeah. Just go.
A
Yeah. Reject that.
B
Well, they trade the babies out.
A
Yeah.
B
Those aren't even necessarily those babies, they keep babies, like, on a shift, and they drug them. So those. Like when you see crazy gypsies on the subway. I know I'm not supposed to say
C
Roman, but, like, we all know what we're talking.
B
People were very mad at me for saying gypsy.
C
What are they gonna do, curse you?
B
I wish. I'll run a bit. It's not working. I'll run one over right now. I don't get it.
A
No matter how I try.
B
When the. You'll see the gypsy ladies on the subway with a baby. Yeah, that's not their kid. They. They do shifts, like, eight hours, and the baby stays out all the time.
A
Thanks, Mom.
C
Donnie, he's not doing anything about it. Yeah, he's got to do something about it. Too busy doing all these photo ops and whatnot.
A
Now that that guy froze rent, he could do literally no wrong for the rest of his. I mean, he's. He. Because he did that. He's the greatest mayor of all time.
B
He's grown on me. I like him. I think he's well spoken and I like the way he puts things.
A
Yeah. I mean, comforting. The bar is so fucking low with politicians that anyone who, like, does they
C
can tell less than the bare minimum, but does anything.
A
Oh. I mean, when we got, like, fucking Hochul and Gillibrand and Schumer in your state, anybody looks good, I just thought,
B
I so far like him. But I guess this, he would not like this segment very much. So this is our wonderful friends in Bangladesh. And these are kids trying to stop a motorcycle rider.
C
Oh, gross. Look at that dork wearing a little Covid mask.
A
Oh, he's. He's flopping.
C
Look at a little Terminator one and then the other.
B
Dude, the. The way this kid yells. He does. We had just watched a video. There's a guy born in Europe, but he got left in India by accident.
C
Oh, yeah.
B
Now he has that Indian accent. But the thing that makes it look really real is he does the. This little kid gets up on this guy doing the. And he just gets tossed. You know the second one, Shannon,
D
These
A
kids do want the smoke for sure.
B
Oh, joke.
C
Crazy. Yeah, that's.
A
That's a.
B
Can we just see that throw one more time? This kid does, like a full. That's like an F5.
A
Yeah, that. No, he's not faking it. This one.
C
It's, like, different in India, too.
B
He takes his shoe off to beat him with it. I mean, it is sad because these kids are definitely just doing an impression of how their parents Treat them.
C
Yeah.
A
Oh, yeah.
B
Taking the shoe off, the yelling, the. The intimidation. Like, they're definitely just. That's their home life. But it is fun to watch kids get thrown.
C
It's very cool. I hope it's real.
B
Hope it is. So that guy apparently has more videos coming, so we'll keep an eye out.
A
The bicycle or the kid? The bicycler just throwing them off. Yeah.
C
He's like, just fighting all of them.
A
Yeah. When does it. Here's my question. How many women before you're like. Or attack you before it's socially acceptable to hit back?
C
Less or.
A
And then kids between two and three,
B
if you have two, depending on how vicious they are and if they know what they're doing.
A
If it's four, you're. You can fight back.
B
Yeah. I think two if they have a weapon.
A
Two if they have a weapon.
C
I think one of. She's bigger than you.
A
Well, that's true.
B
It's just because all women are big.
A
Women are big.
C
I'm just one man trying to fight off.
A
Did you see the drunk girl getting carried out? I think it was like a World cup event. And she just, like, swung at the security guard twice who was carrying her out. And he just.
B
Nobody. Shannon.
A
Like Christ on the cross, I think.
B
I believe it was club soda Kenny from the Opie and Anthony Show. Bodyguard for Jim Norton, Bill Burr, Amy Schumer. That said, be nice until it's time to stop being nice. And that is from, of course, Roadhouse.
A
I just realized I was like, where did I work? Where did I know that?
B
Oh, he said something along the lines of, you treat them like a lady until they stop acting like a lady. Well, and I get it sometimes a lady would have.
A
Yeah, this is it. This is wild. He really gets her. Like, you'll see. Boom, boom. Oh, my God, dude.
C
Oh, she loved.
B
I mean, she kind of paint brushed him. That wasn't too.
A
Not bad.
B
She got him.
A
Well, we got to see. The first one's not bad. And then the second one, she may have gotten his eye.
C
Look at fucking Joe Springer's comment. Officer acted accordingly.
A
Yeah, that's a guy who hits his wife.
C
Yeah.
B
I don't know, man. I think if I had a kid and I found out that happened, like, what happened?
E
Like.
B
Well, I hit him like.
A
Ah, yeah.
B
Can't hit a cop.
A
Yeah. You can't. Well, I mean, I don't know. We don't see what the. If the. If the nail caught his eyeball, then I could see why that would happen.
B
Or we don't Know what happened before that.
A
That's true.
C
We don't know what happened afterwards. He might have killed or what you
B
want to call them?
A
Man, I've seen. I've been. I was filming something for Raw and they had to bring like a drunk lady off. And it's just. It's just such a nightmare when a middle aged drunk woman falls in the stands. It is such a hassle for everybody. You know, good guy. You can just kind of kick down the aisle, you know. But a woman, you got to bring
C
in like a crane.
A
Yeah. You got to bring in a crane. It becomes a whole thing.
B
And the same with I. I've seen wrestling shows where a drunk woman got in the ring.
A
Yeah.
B
And everyone froze because nobody wanted to be even. The heels were like, I can't.
A
Yeah.
B
Because I like two weeks before I had seen a guy do it.
A
That's why you need female valets.
B
Stomp the fuck out immediately. And I mean, just a good. A good beaten.
A
Who are these guys? You think this is a good idea?
B
They're hammered. They're hammered every time.
A
Yeah.
B
And then you always. They always are with people who are not surprised. Like, I saw you that his mom came up to us after and was like, yeah, he's. He, he. He gets excited when he drinks and you know, he thought he was going to be part of the show. But you know, we're staying is our first concert. Yeah. Like he's just going to jail.
A
I won't even do it now. Like, I used to. Like, I guess someone comes on stage, unless they're really bigger than me, then I'll run. But like, if it's. I will fucking hit you with the microphone and mic stand. I have no problem.
B
Preaching required.
A
Especially now. Like, I'm like, don't. I told one guy, I was like, at Frederick, I'm doing it again actually into August. Check my dates out. But a guy tried to go on state and a guy was like calling me first off. He was a reason I got pissed off is he was calling me like a MAGA guy. Which are you? No. And which meant he didn't listen to my act for the last 10 minutes. So then I got. And he would just start like pointing me. I'm like, please come on stage. It was the only time I've ever done that where I was like, please, of course. You know.
D
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A
Yeah, I was furious that night. It just. And the older you get, like that one guy, that comic who hits the. Hits the audience member with the guitar.
C
Oh, yeah.
A
In the beginning you're. When you first start comedy, you're like, oh, that guy's a little much. But now I've been doing it and I'm like, good for you, dude. Honky tonk. That motherfucker.
B
I have never seen that video and not thought, good for him.
A
Yeah.
B
I think before I did comedy I saw that and that's right. Oh yeah, I said it a million times. We live in a post dimebag Daryl world.
A
Yeah.
B
You do not know what someone's intentions, even if they're going up there to like hug you.
A
Yeah.
B
You don't know that. You don't know what they have on them. You don't know if there's someone else. Like you gotta fucking knock them out and then fucking figure it out later. Hey, guys. You ever wake up in the morning and just feel soft? Like your coffee's warming your hands but not doing a damn thing for your balls or your brain. That's why our great friends created Body Brain Coffee. It's not just coffee. It's coffee with purpose. Specifically, testosterone. Packed with clinically backed ingredients like Tongkat Ali. This isn't your girlfriend's oat milk latte. This is for men who want to get their edge back. In the gym, in the boardroom, and yeah, in the bedroom, too. And it's not just about testosterone. Body Brain is also built to dial in your focus, clarity and mood. Thanks to lion's mane, Ashwagandha and L Theanine. So while your Basic brew is giving you the jitters at a crash. Body Brain coffee is helping you stay sharp, calm and locked in, all while supporting your natural T levels. If you're serious about your energy, your mindset and your masculinity, it starts with what you put in your cup. Body brain coffee has tongkat Ali, lion's mane, ashwagandha, L theanine and premium freeze dried Colombian coffee. It's got a bold, rich taste with no fillers. Say 15% today with the code ZOO15Z O15@BodyBrainCoffee.com that's BodyBrainCoffee.com Power your day, fuel your drive. Let's get back into the show.
C
Yeah, here it is.
B
Yeah, we showed it. I. Yeah, of course.
A
This is like if Doug Benson got his together.
C
That's a good ass bit.
A
I know. It's okay. State he's doing. He's pretty clean too. Oklahoma's okay. It's like, you know, might not be nirvana, man, but by God it's okay.
B
I don't know if you're in Oklahoma, Oklahomania and oak.
A
I guess if you were gay, you'd be in Oklahoma.
B
Kind of like this. But you don't.
A
No, really, don't mess with me, cuz I don't come down to the bus station and slap the dick out of your mouth when you're working doing.
C
God damn. You drug him with that one.
A
Oh, get on up here. Oh, that's awesome.
B
Give me security. Now. He can't do his act.
A
The guy came at me. What do you think, folks?
B
Nope. Okay.
A
Sure.
B
That was unnecessary.
C
That was awesome.
A
It was totally necessary.
C
This is like before, like, you know, Will Smith slapped Chris Rock.
A
That's the other thing too. That was crazy, people. I saw tons of comics defending Will Smith too. That was like the worst thing I've ever seen.
B
Absolute insanity. It was the easiest joke. It was not an offensive joke.
A
It wasn't even a great joke. It was like a gi. It was like a joke that we would have written the fourth week of roast when we were like out of idea.
C
It was.
B
It was a filler. Like we just need something. Tried to make it about her alopecia that no one gives. Oh, sorry, bald. I've never seen a black woman who shaves her head before.
A
There's literally no one. Jada Pinkett Smith has never been called unattractive. It's never been a thing that people have had against her. They shit on her for being a fucking narcissist and cheating on her husband and Being a borderline predator with her son's friends. They don't shit on her for her
C
looks and having weird kids.
A
Yeah.
B
And also that's what it was. It was. Will Smith has all these years of embarrassment of being cuckolded publicly.
C
And let's. Let's not forget the most heinous crime of all. The cultural erasure of Will Smith's oldest son, who was originally the subject of the song Just the Two of Us. Everyone thinks it's about Jaden. It wasn't about Jaden. It was Will Smith's older son.
A
Do they not talk anymore?
E
Huh?
A
Does the older son and him not talk anymore?
C
I don't know. Like, they're still around, but, like, he's just, like, completely erased from the. The culture sphere.
B
The.
A
The video of him and Rita Ora in London is one of the most uncomfortable things I've ever seen in my life. When he's. When he's rapping. If you've seen that.
B
Yeah, yeah.
A
And the DJ just looks like. He looks like. He looks like a carnival cruiser dealing with your drunk aunt. You know, it's just rough.
C
Needs to come back with Jazzy Jeff.
A
Yeah.
C
I need to bring it back.
B
So I have two. Two things that I stick out to me about the Will and Jada thing. One, you'll talk about weird alien narcissism. No one ever calls them out for naming their kids a gender swapped version of themselves.
A
Oh, my God, you're right.
C
Yeah. Willow and Jaden.
A
That's crazy.
B
Isn't that kind of narcissistically creepy?
C
That's weird.
A
I've just.
B
It's almost like they're pod people and they grew two more.
C
Yeah. Like replaces, like up. Like, once he's ready, I'll upload my consciousness.
B
Yeah.
C
And the Fresh Prince will be reborn.
B
That, to me, kind of feels like that. And then. Oh, fuck. What was the.
D
Oh.
B
I think it's been public knowledge that Will Smith might be gay. Gay for a very long time. And it was definitely a Hollywood rumor for way longer than the public knew.
A
Oh, yeah.
B
Because if you go, forgive me. I screamed a lot on Saturday, so my voice is going in and out.
A
Yeah.
B
If you look at a. Bert tells a story about when he first got his development deal. It was before Bert had anything.
A
Yeah.
B
Will Smith had signed him to a development deal about his life. And he had him meet him to go see a movie. And Bert's dad said, be careful he doesn't try and fuck you. And Bert's like, Will Smith, why? He's like, just be careful. Which doesn't hold a lot of water until you remember that Burt's death. Worked for the Church of Scientology. He probably had a bit more intel than the average dad.
A
Did he try anything or.
B
No, no, he said that they met. It was like a bunch of dudes. It was a secret movie theater, like, under a mall where they have, like, a secret, like, rich people thing.
A
Yeah.
B
Maybe even underneath a Planet Hollywood.
A
Oh, that's so cheesy. Well, that's like. That's Taylor Swith MSG cheesy.
C
Yeah. Well, I think, like, Will Smith, like, he kind of became successful at a younger age. So I think a lot of that was just trying to recapture that lost time of actually being able to. Because, like, it's. We take for granted that we don't think about. But, like, yeah, there was a point where it's like we would just go out with our friends and watch a movie, and he never got that. And he's trying to recreate it, but
A
it's like early 20s. He got famous, so he had enough. I mean, he. He had it sometime where he wasn't a guy. I don't know. When was his rap thing was that early 20s, I think.
C
No, I think he was like a teenager. He was like the Fresh Prince.
A
Yeah, I know he's Fresh Prince, but I thought he was, like, early 20s for that.
B
But, Shannon, can you look up how old he was when his first record came out?
C
I feel like he was a teenager. But then, like, after that, he got like, the Fresh Prince, and then, like, they both kind of became.
A
What was interesting is he was the last kind of goof rap guy.
E
Yeah, he was 6, 16 when his first.
A
Oh, never mind. I'm not. That's not true.
B
Yes. That means he was in the machine already for a while.
A
Yeah. That means he probably was getting past 21. Unfresh. Pool parties.
C
Yeah. Poor guy.
B
Yeah.
C
You know what? It's all right. It's okay that you slapped Chris Rock. He was wrong for saying that. Now that I think about, you know,
B
he's just part of that same. I mean, is it a mistake? Who. Jada's other exes, who's definitely a hidden homosexual.
C
Yeah, I saw.
B
That was a sign up.
C
I saw a photo of Tupac with a man in bed. Yuck.
A
Is it. Was he supposed to be gay?
B
I think he is gay. Shannon, I've shown up, chatted. Please pull up the old interview with Tupac where he's in the tank top with the. The flat top. Haircut. When he was a backup dancer for. I believe. Was it cnc? Music Factory?
C
He was also a theater kid.
B
Yeah, he was a actor.
C
Yeah. Like, that's. I think that's why Biggie Smalls hated him.
B
He was an actor and a backup dancer. And then he did. What was the movie? Bounce some.
C
I think something like that. It was like one of the. It was an early.
A
Oh, yeah, for sure.
C
Okay. My name is Tupac Shakur, and I attend Tampa Pie High school, and I'm 17 years old. It's like, 17. Such a weird age.
B
It says that in the middle age, you're not 18 yet.
A
You're older than 16.
C
But I like it.
E
It's nice.
A
Yeah. He's gay as hell.
C
You know what?
B
And if he was, then he did a movie where he played that thug character. And I think, basically, I'm gonna rebuild a bunch of. No, I think a bunch of record people were like, oh, we're gonna make
A
you that guy, because we know you're really this guy.
B
Yeah. And you're gonna be one of our. You know, you're now under our thumb because now you can always just expose him and ruin them.
A
It's just hilarious that me and Zach have both had gay experiences that we've talked about publicly. And the community wants nothing to do with us.
D
No.
A
Not a goddamn thing. No, they don't. Like. Like, we never. Like, even people roasting us never bring that up. It's like they don't want it.
B
Rosebud had a good one. That was it. Yeah.
A
What did she say?
B
She said Zach's only bisexual because half of them fits in a closet.
A
That's funny.
B
Which I thought was very funny.
A
But, yeah, for the most part, they don't want. You know, And Ian's. Ian is. Ian's just on the. On the. I guess, borderline. But I feel like, you know, like, for the most part. Yeah. It's not fun calling me and Zach gay for whatever reason, even though I've had a dude blow me and.
B
And they. I feel like they always want to come after him. Like, I feel like Ian has to walk on such eggshells.
A
Yeah.
B
About what he says. Because the only thing any community loves more than building up a pariah is tearing down the statue.
A
Yes.
B
So the fact that Ian is so proud of who he is and so openly who he is.
A
Yeah.
B
There's so many people that are mad at that, that whenever he slightly crosses a line or doesn't use the exact correct language, they fucking flip their shit.
A
Yeah. Yeah. It's unbelievable.
B
And they're mad at him for being successful about it. They all want to be fucking in the backyard in a. Fucking. At some show that they booked that they're all playing in a hole.
C
Yeah, well, just having fun or.
A
Also was kind of gay, and no one brought that up ever. And he was Brando. Yeah. But he would talk about it on stage. It's not like he was hid.
C
John Wayne was gay.
A
I didn't know that.
C
Yeah, John Wayne was gay.
A
Where did he. Where's that from?
C
Tom Rhodes told me.
A
I. I did not know that.
B
Yeah, he's being facetious again.
C
No, I. I. Tom Rhodes has.
A
I was. I had my guard up on that.
C
He talked and he talked about how, like, Tom Waits or. I'm sorry, Not Tom.
B
Tom Rhodes.
C
Tom Rhodes and John Wayne. John Wayne came out in a scene. He was holding his hand like this, and Tom's like, that's the gayest guy I've ever seen in my life. He's gay.
B
Well, that's a scene from Birdcage, too.
C
Yeah.
B
Where they're teaching him how to walk straight. He goes. It gives us a cliche, but give me John Wayne. That he was John Wayne. He goes, I just didn't realize John Wayne walks. Okay.
C
No, John Wayne was a gay man. And it's like that was, like, another thing that got buried by America.
A
Well, he. I mean, him as Genghis Khan is still the greatest thing. We should. On Spook show. We should watch that one time.
B
The movie that killed everyone on it.
A
Yeah, the movie that killed everyone on it.
B
Are you familiar?
C
Yeah, I'm Genghis Kang. Cut.
B
Yeah, but, you know everybody on that movie died, right?
C
Oh, really?
A
Radiation poisoning.
B
So they shot it in a place where they had been testing a Manhattan Project site. And so they. But they didn't know yet, like, the ramifications of that. They said they were just walking around the set with, like, Geiger meters, and they were, like, just, like, spinning.
C
Oh.
B
And they're like, wow, there's something up here. And then he got, what? Stomach cancer.
A
He died.
B
I want to say 70 to 80% of the cast and crew within 10 to 15 years.
A
Oh, died of cancer, and the other 20 are 300 years old.
B
Yeah, it killed, like. And not like they eventually, like, everybody got sick that worked on that movie.
C
You got to be careful with radiation, man. Yeah, you got to be careful with that tonight. You don't always become a ninja turtle.
B
Do you ever watch Dark Tourist on Netflix? He goes to, like, obscure tourist Destination. The one he went to Chernobyl. And you just see it, like, emptied.
C
I know there was like some shit where it's like dogs have become feral. And Chernobyl and all. Fuck.
A
Yeah. They're like blue radioactive wolves. They're fine.
C
Yeah.
B
And they. During the taping of the episode, they actually shut him down and they're like, hey, we took the meters out. And like, we are in a section like, we got to back. We have to get out of here right now because this is like, get sick tomorrow level radiation.
A
Well, I have a bad feeling that. That somebody is going to use a nuke in the next two years. Whether it's in America, whether it's Russia, Israel or America. I think it's going to be one of those three.
C
Probably Israel.
A
But yeah, no, because, you know, I mean, I could go into the reasons why, but as far as, like, if you like, really look at game theory and stuff like that, there's. It's almost guaranteed that it's going to happen in the next, like two years.
B
You go by the Chekhov's gun.
A
Yes.
B
Who had it, who showed it, and who's gonna use it in the third act?
A
Yeah, I think it's. I think it's gonna happen.
C
Damn. It's been a hell of a run, dude.
A
Yeah, I had a fine run. If I died tomorrow, I would be.
C
It's like, what else do we have, dude? We got AI. We got Internet porn.
A
Well, especially now when you find out, like, so many of these famous people are super successful people are somewhat part of the occult. A huge part of the cult. Yeah. So, like, I'm like, I did pretty good for not being. For not sacrificing a ball.
B
I'm not gonna have. I've never, like, worshipped a giant wooden owl.
A
Yeah. I never. Yeah, I never. Yeah. Prayed a child.
C
Sight of Mammon, like, renouncing. Like, it's like, no way, dude. I got one person I answer to and his name is Jesus Christ.
A
All right, well, they say, like the rest. Oh, the arrest. If the arrest of the Epstein files came out, they would. It would ruin society. And I'm like, no one. It's just protecting you because no one cares about. We need to purge. Nobody, like, was excited about the Taylor Swift wedding. We all. We all are villagers with torches outside the castle.
C
We're ready.
B
Seem very. And I know it was poor timing, but the fact that they're telling everyone, set your thermostat to 78. But we're gonna fucking have a giant billionaires billionaires party. I don't they did. I've seen people want to turn off Times Square. They do dim the lights in Times Square. And also things are on different breakers. So even if they did dim the lights in Times Square, it's not really going to affect the hospital.
C
You know, I just do it anyway. Come on. If I have to suffer, the more
A
I get into, like, the UAP topic, the more it's kind of, like, impossible to deny that they have something that can replace all this and everything would be fine. So, like, telling me to turn my air conditioner off when I know the people running this are not letting it happen so they can get paid. Yeah, it doesn't. It doesn't, like, resonate with me anymore. Like, I don't feel. You can't make me feel guilty about it anymore. You know? Like, I know you guys have the answer.
C
I'm not doing that.
B
Also, City hall was, like, 62.
C
Yeah, I. I have a right. I have a right to have ac. Don't get. Don't get out of that.
A
Look how many people died in Europe, dude.
C
Yeah, I'm not doing that. I'm not gonna d. New York, dude.
A
No.
C
Get out of town. I'm keeping my AC at 60 degrees. I don't give a. I don't give a. I don't care how expensive it is. I. I have a. I have a job for that reason. What is the. What is this? I'm not going to suffer.
B
And instead of sleeping with a blanket and socks on.
C
Oh, I love that. Are you kidding me? I love that.
B
Just feel like.
A
Like you're just f. You and. God.
B
Yeah, the apartment's too cold.
C
I love it. I love it.
A
Amazing.
C
Because, like, you can feel it. Like, we have, like, a little alcove between, like, our two AC units. And in that alcove, when we go to change our clothes or whatever, you can feel the heat. And, like, our bathroom, separate. We go in there. It's like. It's like, fucking hot as hell. 78 degrees is not going to affect anything, and you're wasting the same amount. I don't. I don't believe we're saving energy by having the ac, because the AC is still plugged in. It's still using power, you know?
B
Does that. Does the heat give you guys bubble
C
guts all the time?
A
I don't know what that is.
C
Sometimes I wake up in the middle
B
of the sour tummy. Bad, bad poops.
A
Yeah, I mean, my. My poops are always pretty bad, dude.
B
I feel like I'm a crock pot in the Summer, if it's really hot out, I feel like my. My body's a crock pot. I. My shits are awful.
C
It's like, how. How am I. How is so much fluid coming out of me, but I'm not losing weight. Like, I feel like I should be like 20 pounds lighter. How much. I'm just like. How much like fucking stuff is coming out of me. Me. It's insane.
B
I've been fucking.
C
It's been this city.
B
Well, at least it's gonna rain for the next few days and bring it down a little bit.
C
Thanks.
B
Man who owned home alone house at time of filming found dead days after being charged with child pornography.
C
That's so fucking. He was like trying to make his escape, but then like he slipped on some micro machines and fell down the stairs. And like he got up and then like a blowtorch like cooked his head. That's crazy. Damn. So many people are into cp.
A
Dude, he must have been. That must have been such a fucking humble brag of the community.
B
That must be the dude that's like being into black chicks and like Halle Berry shot a movie in your house. Like, that is. That is the hottest kid of all time. Like the.
A
Yeah, the kid.
C
The.
A
My girl too. Come on.
B
Yeah, the it boy for pedophiles, he was Shannon. Tell us about it real quick.
E
So it said that. So he's 79 years old. It said that after multiple online tips were called in, they led to an online account associated with him. And there were a lot of like a child stuff material found there. And so a few days after they charged him, they released him with conditions. And then they found his body in like a nature preserve. And they said he died by asphyxia in a manner consistent with being self inflicted.
C
So he was like fucking jerking off one last time. Get the belt loose.
B
Do you think when the FBI pulled up, they knocked over the statue in front of the house.
C
Oh my God.
B
He's got all. He's got all puppets going. So it looks like there's a party.
A
It's just the pizza delivery guy being like, well, I guess a whole cheese pizza just for me.
C
Wait a minute. Cheating cheese pizza cp it was right there the whole time.
A
Was that the code then?
C
Yeah, it has to. It had to. It was time.
A
I wonder what the code is now. Could pedophiles. Can you call in and let us know?
C
Yeah, let us know when the race.
A
Grape soda or cheese pizza?
B
You gotta stay ahead of it.
C
I think it's chicken noodle soup. Because if you Type in chicken noodle soup on Facebook. You'll get, like, a message that says, like, hey, you're trying to look up child porn. Don't do that. And I'm like, what the.
A
Seriously?
C
Yeah. There's like a meme going around where it's like, don't Google. Don't type in chicken noodle soup.
A
Well, then it's got to be something else new then. As soon as. As soon as we get those messages.
C
I don't know, dude.
A
As soon as we get those messages.
B
Have I told you by the. The Home Alone story?
A
No.
B
So my friend Babette is a drag queen. Very cool life. Special effects artist, costumer, performer. And they helped run, like, theme park. So, like, they would do makeup for, like, Grinchmas and like that. And amazing, amazing person with a lot of cool stories. For a long time they dated someone who was a psychiatrist for people with Predator trophy, for people with sex. Sex crimes. And part of their job, when the person was on house arrest, you go to their house every couple months and you just, you know, you do a good snooping. And they had this guy, super rich. The family must have, you know, paid a bajillion dollars to keep him out of jail. In house arrest in a mansion. And they said when they got there, he usually. They would come, I think during the day, like at noon, and he was completely fine. They would go through everything. They said he had weird stat. He had kids statues.
A
That's always relevant.
B
They weren't thrilled about.
A
Yeah, it's always a given.
B
And then they said that. So one of the things they have to do is at the time it was just vhs, but they said that they would sit there and put in every tape they got. If you're under that charge. Yeah, every tape you own, they're going to sit and fast forward through it.
A
Yeah.
B
And they said he had one tape that they had a confiscate and it was home alone. And it was because when Kevin's shirtless and does the.
A
Ah, yeah.
B
The tracking had fallen off the tape because he had rewound it so many times.
A
Oh, my.
C
He was goon and goon to the cav.
B
So here's the crazy one. Every. They would go at noon all the time. And he had a big bay window in the upstairs bedroom and he had a recliner facing it. And they're like, oh, that. He's like, yeah, I just like to look out. Look out at nature. All right. They come back in the afternoon and he is dodgy.
E
Right.
B
They're like, what is can we go see? Yeah, yeah. And then we're going. He's like, yeah, you don't got it. You saw it already. You know, look, dude, the neighbors had a trampoline and they said it was like the man show. Like he would just see little kids come up and look like. He said he had a recline, like a gooning seat and that the neighbors just. You just see little kids bounce over the fence.
A
You don't want to lose one of those kids over that fence.
B
He's mine now.
A
He's mine. Yeah, that's. Yeah, it's sandlot rules.
B
All right, let's do one more thing before we get out of here. Is there any more video? Shannon,
E
hold on. Oh, the. The cop, the female cop, the guy eating in the car.
B
Sure, let's do that. And then we're done.
C
I think this is something that will affect all of us.
B
Shannon's obsessed with body cam footage and it has now hit me.
C
Of course it's fun.
B
I love watching. I love watching altercations between the public and the police.
A
How many green screen shirts do you have now for this podcast?
B
A million.
A
Yeah, I got to remember I'll wear one the next time. I don't have one.
C
Bill, if that's all you're doing, then why can't you just give my deputy your information?
B
Why can't I just eat my dinner? Why can't you just give my deputy
C
your information if that's all you're doing? What's your name?
A
Number Corporal?
C
Deputy Hay. I'm Corporal Haynes and my badge number is 612.
B
Okay. Are you from here? We're conducting an investigation now because you're being uncooperative for no reason. You're in an empty parking lot with closed businesses.
C
You're refusing us to get Shake Rivera shirt. This guy's posting on a libertarian Facebook page.
B
So trying to figure out what who
A
am I being detained?
B
That doesn't explain anything to me. You're a bad cod.
C
Nice.
E
Okay.
B
That's your opinion.
C
You're entitled to it. That's awesome. Is there a reason that you picked
B
the empty clothes park belong to eat your tacos. How far away is Taco Bell? Oh, you can see it. This is going to be better for the video. You can see Taco Bell. Is there a reason that you picked
C
this park out though?
B
Are you from here? It's right next to.
A
This is crazy that she costing him
B
right next to Taco Bell. Are you from here? Like you couldn't go. I'll give you that.
E
One.
B
I answered that one.
C
Nice.
A
No, you didn't. Are you.
D
Are you.
C
She's just flirting, dude.
B
I'm not gonna answer any of your questions.
C
What? Are you done with this?
B
I. I've noticed in a lot of these, I think at a certain point they get embarrassed.
A
The cop.
B
And now they need to put their foot on the gas.
A
Yeah.
B
To try and make this a thing.
A
Yeah.
B
Or else they wasted time. So now they're trying to get him to fuck up.
C
Escalate. Yeah.
A
Yeah, I could see that.
B
Because now she's humiliated because he. She's. He's obviously eating Taco Bell. The Taco Bell is visual visually.
A
And by the way, sometimes you don't want to eat in the parking lot. Sometimes you want privacy.
B
Yeah, yeah. Sometimes you don't want to take it home either and have whoever lives with you see what you're eating.
A
Yes, exactly. We've all been in that situation before. What did you. Like, I'm the only one. I act about food the same way that, like, Johnny Carson used to act about. Like, the secretaries he'd cheat on. Like, my wife's like, what'd you eat today? I'm like, don't fucking worry about it. Don't worry about what I fucking ate. All right?
B
I. Taco Bell is a shameful thing. And the thing with Taco Bell is, to be honest, much like McDonald's fries, some taco Bell items are not going to make the ride.
C
Yeah.
B
Mexican pizza, it's going to McDonald's fries. You have a set time limit on how before you have to eat them. Before they suck dick.
A
I've refrigerated Taco Bell a lot, and it's the worst idea. It's always disgusting.
C
It depends. You can't have anything. Lettuce.
A
No. Nothing. Lettuce. No. Tacos. No. Taco Supremes.
C
Yeah.
B
I do bean burritos. And that's why bean burritos, they keep good.
A
Yeah. Good. Yeah.
B
And also, air fryer, World of difference.
C
They. They have a surprisingly full menu to taco, even, like the smaller Taco Bells. You got some options.
A
I'm bothered by the cantina. Don't put lipstick on a pig or any.
B
I just want what I don't like dressing it up like it's something else. Like, we know what Taco Bell is.
A
Yeah.
B
And by the way, if you're eating clean, you can put something together. You can put chicken and beans and you can salad, and you can even
C
get, like, a burrito bowl at Taco Bell.
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We know what it is. We don't got to dress it up as anything.
C
Yeah, More the people that want to get, like, you know, health, whatever. Like, the idea of being healthy from it can. But, yeah, just keep it as is. You don't need to have a specialty.
A
It's the last great deal in America. Taco Bell.
C
It really is.
B
I will agree. Unless you live somewhere with real Mexican food where sometimes you get cheaper tacos
C
and it's like, it's very rare. But, yeah, it used to be like, $0.59 for Taco Bell. It used to be like a taco. Used to be like 59 cents a soft taco, 69 cents. And it was like, you could, like, fill up for, like, under 10 bucks a Tonka, and now it's like you need at least like, $15 for a meal.
A
Yeah, it's gotten crazy.
C
It's a bummer.
B
You could. You could still work your way around. If you get a cheap thing and add potatoes, you fill up quick. If that's that. The final piece of advice for broke people out there, you getting Taco Bell, you got to fill up on one thing. Regular burrito. Get some potatoes in that motherfucker. Okay, you're full.
A
Brought to you by a crew of guys who routinely fall standing. Fall asleep sitting up.
B
Excellent. Thank so much for tuning in. This has been Zach Amico's morning zoo. Thank you to Joe Gorman and Dan Sanger.
A
Thank you, buddy.
B
We'll be back on Wednesday. Goodbye.
A
The fun's begun. No sleeping. Noon is morning time to him. Papa Baco. Chug it down. Just like the favorite ob. Smile, grab a coffee, and join the crew. It's a Miko morning, too. It's acquisition.
Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo – Episode 126 Summary
Guests: Dan St. Germain & Joe Gorman
Aired: July 10, 2026
GaS Digital Network
MAIN THEME
This riotous episode delivers pure “Morning Zoo” mayhem with Zac Amico joined by fellow comedians Dan St. Germain and Joe Gorman. It’s a twisted blend of stories from the Gathering of the Juggalos, wild wrestling tales, degenerate festival memories, and the group’s takes on sports, internet chaos, crime news, and the absurd realities of American pop culture. Irreverent and hilarious, the panel touches on everything from childhood games to celebrity gossip to conspiracy theory, all with signature reckless abandon.
EPISODE STRUCTURE
KEY DISCUSSION POINTS & INSIGHTS
1. Catching Up & Summer Survival [00:50–07:40]
2. Nostalgic Schoolyard Games & Early Degeneracy
3. The Gathering of the Juggalos: Chaos, Legends, & Memories [08:00–16:13]
4. Comics With Offstage Personas [19:19–21:14]
5. Rey Mysterio and the Power of Wrestling Heels [23:35–27:03]
6. Indians Versus Firewalk – Absurd-Internet Mayhem [28:29–31:51]
7. Bangladesh Bubblegum Kids & Street Crime [32:07–36:52]
8. Escalation: Drunk Women, Cop Violence & Audience Attacks [36:54–42:07]
9. Will Smith, Jada, and Hollywood Weirdness [46:07–54:09]
10. Apocalypse, AI, and AC [55:02–59:35]
11. Home Alone House Arrest & Pedo Paranoia [60:03–65:03]
12. Taco Bell, Eating Shame, and Police Bodycam Footage [65:13–69:00]
NOTABLE QUOTES & MEMORABLE MOMENTS
TIMESTAMPS FOR IMPORTANT SEGMENTS
OVERALL TONE & STYLE
The show is crass, fast-paced, and irreverently comedic—packed with B-movie and pro wrestling energy, self-deprecating stories, and dark comic takes on life’s underbelly. The three hosts riff, roast, and reminisce, making listeners feel like part of a dysfunctional but lovable crew.
USEFUL FOR
This summary gives the flavor, jokes, and big moments for listeners who want to catch up on Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo’s wildest, weirdest discussions without slogging through ads or filler. It highlights why fans tune in: full-throttle comedic honesty, transgressive anecdotes, and the kind of punchline-packed riffing mainstream radio could never allow.