0130. Chris Faga and Josie Marcellino

Summary

Zac Amico's Morning Zoo – Episode 130: Chris Faga and Josie Marcellino
Date: July 24, 2026 | Network: GaS Digital
Guests: Chris Faga (Notes of a Goon, High Society Radio), Josie Marcellino
Host: Zac Amico
Producer: G Mike (subbing for Shannon)

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Episode Overview

This episode of Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo brings together comedian Chris Faga and regular Josie Marcellino for an unfiltered, raucous session full of twisted news, wild stories, and deliciously inappropriate humor. The show features offbeat rants, tales of personal debauchery, unvarnished opinions about NYC, vivid funeral stories, a deep dive into the world of “Indians vs. Trains,” and Josie's courageous reveal of her “blackcent” phase—all delivered in the trademark Morning Zoo style: irreverent, chaotic, and very funny.

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Table of Contents

• Introductions & Bucket List Banter [00:44–03:01]
• Plugs & Comedy Gigs [03:44–04:42]
• Sleep Struggles & Apnea Chat [06:15–09:41]
• NYC Prescription Pill Market & Drug Nostalgia [09:30–17:00]
• The Resurrection of Quaaludes [12:18–17:47]
• Grapefruit vs. Medication Chat [17:00–18:28]
• Ice Cream Data & Grocery Delivery Gripes [19:57–24:40]
• Grocery Delivery Horror Stories [24:00–26:19]
• Cravings and Summer Treats [26:19–26:49]
• Signature Segment: Indians vs. (Trains, Electricity, etc.) [26:49–36:03]
• American Violence Videos: Generational Divide [33:22–36:03]
• Indian Airport Freakout [37:49–41:48]
• Family Trauma Dumping & Funeral Antics [42:08–54:30]
• Josie’s Viral “Blackcent” Snapchats [55:00–67:11]

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Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Introductions & Bucket List Banter [00:44–03:01]

• Zac welcomes Chris Faga and Josie Marcellino. Immediate chemistry. Josie can't hear herself; tech hiccup resolved quickly.
• Josie unveils part of her bucket list: “I want to be part of a trial. I love crime. True crime.” [Chris: “Just go commit some crimes. Steal things.” | 02:07]
• Zac: “Who has jury duty on a bucket list?” [02:02]
• Josie redeems herself with “The Festival of Lights in Thailand. That'd be nice.” [02:46]

2. Plugs & Comedy Gigs [03:44–04:42]

• Chris Faga promotes Tri State Comedy Club (White Plains) and Armored League (Melrose Ballroom).
• Josie: “I'll be opening for Big J at Magoobies in September… My first headlining show December 3rd in Madison, Indiana.” [04:19–04:42]

3. Sleep Struggles & Apnea Chat [06:15–09:41]

• Zac reveals he's the “bodega cat” of GaS Digital—loves to nap in the studio.
• Chris details the experience: “You occasionally just stop snoring…my brain just goes, get up—check on Zac.” [06:27]
• Josie advocates for a sleep apnea mask. Zac reveals his “up and down pisser” status, and night hydration rituals.
• Memorable: “If you sleep soundly, you will piss yourself.” (Chris, 07:35)

4. NYC Prescription Pill Market & Drug Nostalgia [09:30–17:00]

• Zac: “Open-air prescription pill market in Washington Heights. Just dick pills, Ritalin, painkillers, right on the street.” [10:25]
• Chris reflects: “I more want the things where I don’t have to go to the doctor...if I need antibiotics, just give me a bottle.” [10:59]
• Nostalgia for late-90s legal stimulants (“Stackers,” “Trimspa”). [11:35]

5. The Resurrection of Quaaludes [12:18–17:47]

• Zac introduces a Vice article about Quaaludes making a comeback.
• G Mike reads: “Quaaludes... the sedative has been popping up in psychonaut circles and drug forums.” [15:04]
• Chris: “You know, people get so mad at the Chinese Communist Party, but I think they’re doing good work. They’re bringing back the hundreds.” [12:45]
• Josie: “What did Quaaludes treat? Like, what was their original usage?” [13:00]
• Zac: “Not being fucked up.” [13:06]
• Zac: “Hey, if you’re a friend of the show, and you found out wherever these are going, send a boy a DM. I’m very curious.” [16:13]
• The trio jokes about responsible (and less responsible) drug combos: “No shots... we could drink a little … Michelob Ultras.” [16:33–16:41]
• Grapefruit interaction with drugs: “Grapefruit magnifies it, which can actually cause an overdose.” (G Mike, 17:26)

6. Ice Cream Data & Grocery Delivery Gripes [19:57–24:40]

• Zac: “This comforting ice cream flavor was the most purchased in 2025… Comforting makes me think mint chocolate chip.” [20:01]
• Josie: “Comfort to me is cookie dough… ultimate.” [20:07]
• G Mike: “Vanilla was the most purchased according to Instacart.” [20:27]
• Chris & Josie bemoan how basic that is: “That’s like saying people bought more regular milk than chocolate milk.” (Josie, 20:44)
• Grocery delivery fiascoes: “One of the shoppers told me the whole store was out of apples. All apples.” (Josie, 23:02)
• Chris: “It's like when I sent my handicapped brother to the store... that’s not what I asked you for.” [22:54]

7. Cravings and Summer Treats [26:19–26:49]

• Josie: “I’ve, like, only wanted Starbucks… getting acid reflux because I can’t stop...” [25:56]
• Zac: “Mine’s been lemon Italian ice. I think it’s just the heat.” [26:25]
• Annie Ann’s frozen lemonade gets rave reviews.

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Signature Segment: Indians vs. [Trains, Electricity, etc.] [26:49–36:03]

A classic, darkly comic segment where Zac and Chris review viral videos of Indians tangling with dangerous situations, reflecting on public safety, and the dark side of YouTube.

Videos include:

• Indian vs. Train Surfing: “By the way, if the wire didn’t get him, the bridge was gonna get him.” (Chris, 29:27)
• Indian vs. Electricity: “He’s on fire…why doesn’t he just let go?” (Zac, 30:29)
• Indian vs. Firecracker: “That must have been at least an M80, right?” (Chris, 31:50)
• Indian vs. Electricity 2: “He does look like he’s jerking off while on fire. Very hot. Check it out.” (Chris, 32:46)
• Indian vs. Reality Check (Airport Meltdown): “You think any police officer will dare touch me?” [38:10]

Josie’s discomfort with graphic content is palpable: “12:30 in the afternoon. What are we doing?” [30:59]

Generational Divide:

• Josie: “I think that Indian guy getting electrocuted, probably the first time I've seen a video of somebody dying.” [35:41]
• Chris: “I can’t think of anybody I knew growing up that never saw any of those… they’d call you a pussy for not having seen Faces of Death.” [35:32]

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Funeral & Family Stories [41:48–54:30]

• Airport freakout stories: Josie recounts her own Heathrow Airport meltdown following a brain injury: “I was calling everybody, like, faggots and pussies, and I was a… it was bad.” [41:51]
• Zac’s uncle’s schizophrenic episode at an airport: “He was screaming that the Mafia was after him…” [42:46]
• Extended riffing on family trauma, Irish wakes, and wild funeral scenes—drunken relatives, inappropriate eulogies, and “the hook” for long-winded mourners.
• Zac: “At my dearly departed friend Doug’s funeral…his ex talked about their S&M relationship in front of the family. And then… a guy who thinks he’s a werewolf monopolized the eulogy.” [49:17–51:14]
• Josie: “My lesbian cousin tried stand up for the first time and got the hook at a funeral.” [48:55]
• Plans for future wakes: “If I die untimely…have my wake at the Rainforest Cafe.” (Josie, 45:13)

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Josie’s “Blackcent” Snapchats & Code-switching [55:00–67:11]

In an act of “bravery,” Josie brings in old Snapchat clips of herself code-switching into a faux-Black dialect, drawing sharp, hilarious, and self-aware commentary.

• “We are all guilty in some way of code-switching…” (Zac, 55:32)
• Josie describes her embarrassing “blackcent” phase from her Carroll County, Maryland days.
• Chris: “From somebody who’s been accused of being a wigger my entire life… you cannot f— I’ve been podcasting over a decade, I did not—find me not doing that…” [58:23]
• The group compares Josie’s videos to Anne Hathaway’s “Havoc” character.

Sample Josie Snapchat Quotes:

• “Why you tryna watch your husband get his eyes lasered off? That’s nasty.” (Least egregious—58:18)
• “No, it's a motherfucker. If I get there and he's like, ‘You wanna suck it and make me feel better?’ No, I don't. I ain't gonna be doing that. I watch you stuff your face with ice cream, but I ain't you…” (Second video—61:48)
• “Do something! You not doing shit, like fucking drink from a fucking water bottle. And you don’t have to go to the hospital no more, I ain't feeling bad for your ass…” (Most egregious—65:28)

Zac’s Final Words:
“That was magical. I want to thank you for your bravery. We’re gonna need to chop those up and use them as sound clips here on the show.” [66:52]

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Notable Quotes & Exchanges

• Quaaludes Segment:

  • “Hey, if you’re a friend of the show, and you found out wherever these are going, send a boy a DM. I’m very curious.” – Zac [16:13]
  • “You know, people get so mad at the Chinese Communist Party, but I think they’re doing good work. They’re bringing back the hundreds.” – Chris [12:45]

• On Generational Trauma Sharing:

  • “My German side of my family, once something is upsetting, they—there’s no trauma dumping at the holiday table. My wife’s family, they’re Irish, halfway into any dinner everybody’s talking shit.” – Zac [43:29]

• Josie on Family:

  • “My dad’s my best bud, dude. My dad’s how I learned—because my dad does impressions and he does them very well.” [62:29]

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Timestamps of Important Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |------------------------------|---------------| | Bucket List Confessions | 02:02–02:53 | | Sleep Apnea & Snoring | 06:15–07:47 | | NYC Pill Market & Drug Chat | 09:30–12:18 | | Quaaludes Nostalgia | 12:18–17:47 | | Grapefruit/Med Interaction | 17:00–18:28 | | Vanilla Ice Cream Reveal | 20:27 | | Indians vs. Segment Start | 26:49 | | Indian vs. Train Surfing | 29:01 | | Indian vs. Electricity | 30:05; 32:40 | | Josie’s “Blackcent” Videos | 55:28–67:11 |

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Tone & Style

• Raw, comedic, unapologetically blue, and perpetually self-aware—every ridiculous topic segues into even wilder anecdotes.
• From their riffing on NYC street culture and drugs to their bold willingness to roast themselves, the Morning Zoo crew dares listeners to keep up.

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Key Takeaway

This densely packed episode captures the spirit of Morning Zoo: honest, hilarious, sometimes shocking, but never boring—offering listeners a seat at a table where nothing is off-limits and everyone gets roasted, especially themselves.

Transcript

[Josie Marcelino]

Fill her up.

[Zach Amico]

You're listening to the gas digital network. Wake up, it's time to go Zach Amico's got a show Animals are here to play Jokes and guests to start your day Tell the sandman no more

[G Mike]

sleep Eat some eggs and cook some

[Zach Amico]

beef Laughter's waiting, don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky Grab a coffee and join the cre

[G Mike]

It's

[Zach Amico]

a miko morning, too Wake up, wake

[Chris Vega]

up,

[Zach Amico]

wake up, wake up. That's right, it's time to go. It's Monday morning. It's your other boy, the international superstar Zach Amico. We're coming to you live from New York City at the GAS Digital Studios. And thank you so much for tuning into the Morning Zoo. I'm one lucky duck, because today I am joined by two of my favorite people in the world. Across the table from me, from Notes of a Goon and high society radio, it's our good buddy, Chris Vega. How you doing?

[Chris Vega]

What's going on, Zach? Thanks for having me.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you so much for your time today, buddy. And sitting next to him, stalwart of the show, another one of our favorites, Ms. Josie Marcelino. How you doing? Yay.

[Josie Marcelino]

I can't hear myself at all.

[Zach Amico]

Can we get her now?

[Josie Marcelino]

Hello?

[Zach Amico]

Hello, Josie.

[Chris Vega]

Everybody in the chat is.

[Zach Amico]

Are you plugged in? Is your microphone plugged in?

[Josie Marcelino]

Yes.

[Chris Vega]

Well, the microphone is plugged in.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, let's figure this out. Let's figure this out.

[Chris Vega]

Oh, my God. Shannon, you need to shave.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon looks like shit, but that's okay.

[Chris Vega]

We just found out Josie has the worst bucket list on Earth.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, my Lord.

[Chris Vega]

Jury.

[Josie Marcelino]

Dude.

[Chris Vega]

Who has jury duty on a bucket list?

[Josie Marcelino]

I want to be part of a trial. I love crime. True crime.

[Chris Vega]

Just go commit some crimes. Steal things.

[Josie Marcelino]

No, I want to, like, help the side. So I still can't.

[Zach Amico]

No, we're still.

[Chris Vega]

Traffic arms.

[Zach Amico]

We're waiting on getting Josie on here.

[Josie Marcelino]

I can hop over.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Be careful not to spill our hot coffees.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah. I mean, Lewis isn't even here.

[Zach Amico]

There we go.

[Josie Marcelino]

How's this?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, much better. Yeah. So we found that Josie Awful, terrible bucket list.

[Josie Marcelino]

The bucket list is. I mean, it's. It's miles long. I've got so much I want to do in my life. You're just hearing two aspects so far.

[Zach Amico]

It's a bucket full of.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

What's something better?

[Josie Marcelino]

The Festival of Lights in Thailand. That'd be nice.

[Chris Vega]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

That's an okay one. Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's not bad.

[Zach Amico]

I would miss it.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, I would.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I would get Mixed up in some.

[Chris Vega]

You're getting a foot massage from some fucking ladyboy.

[Zach Amico]

I had a dream last night that I was in the past. Like, I don't know, like, maybe the 60s or the 70s in New York. But I had my wallet from now on, me. And the first thing I did was go get a hooker because I realized I had 100 bucks because the exchange

[Chris Vega]

rate is so much better.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, so funny.

[Chris Vega]

But you'd have to have a hunt. An old hundred, I think I was like, if you try to give somebody a blue hundred, they're gonna be like, that's fake.

[Zach Amico]

I had all twenties in my head. It made sense.

[Chris Vega]

Okay, That's a dream. You weren't actually back in time.

[Zach Amico]

No, I was not in fact back in time, but lesson learned, keep old money on you in case you go back in time.

[Chris Vega]

Just in case.

[Zach Amico]

Let's get plugs out of the way. Chris, what do you want people to check out?

[Chris Vega]

When does it come out? Friday.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but it'll be live today.

[Chris Vega]

Well, yeah, me and K.P. burke will be at Tri State Comedy Club together on the 24th, which is this coming Friday. So if you're listening to this on Friday on your way to work, make sure if you're anywhere near White Plains to come to that. And then check out a show at the Armored League. If you're listening live, July 23rd, this Thursday, we're back at Melrose Ballroom, myself and Mike Harrington on commentary.

[Zach Amico]

And White Plains is also a great name for the show that you and KP do together. Pretty good, Josie.

[Josie Marcelino]

I don't have anything immediately coming up, though I probably will at some point, so follow me everywhere. Osie Marcelino. At the end of September, I will be opening for Big J at Magoobies. And then I. It's way far off, but December 3rd, if you're anywhere near Madison, Indiana, I have my first headlining show. And if we sell that out, then I am no longer a liar. So let's do that.

[Zach Amico]

Well, at least about one thing about that part.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

All right. I'll also go to a war zone. Okay. I'll also go to war. Also, if we sell it out.

[Chris Vega]

Mogadishu. Also White Plains, Great name for the mirror that's gonna be on this table after the show.

[Zach Amico]

Hey, if you like the show, go to Gas Digital today. Use my promo code, Zoom. Save some money. Get your episodes early ad free and uncensored, the live chat, the archives, and our bonus Friday episode. So I wanted to start with this video. Everyone that works here at GAS is very Aware that I like to take my little cat naps. I am the bodega cat of Gas Digital. You frequently find me sleeping curled up on the couch. But no one other than Mrs. Amico is more familiar with having to share a room with me, and it is Chris Faga, and he's gone through it. And I finally saw a video of what I think it must be like to sleep next to me. So this is a woman being recorded in her sleep, and I just wanted to get a comparison. If you could bring that up for me with sound and we could play it for our friends here.

[Josie Marcelino]

It's similar.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, it's close.

[Zach Amico]

It's minus the yelling. Your.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yours has sleep. Yours has more of a base.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Chris Vega]

Also, you occasionally just stop snoring. And literally, that's the scary part. I've woken up from a dead sleep because you've stopped snoring. And I'm like, is he fucking dead? Every fucking time my brain just goes, get up. Check out Zach.

[Josie Marcelino]

So at home you don't sleep with like a mask? Like, you don't have like a. Why I feel like that make it so much better.

[Chris Vega]

No, he just fucks his wife with a mask.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

And a girdle.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. She insists on wearing it. I don't know why. No, no, I. I don't know. I think we drown each other out.

[Josie Marcelino]

The guy that I just. But like, I'm saying, your sweet. Yeah, your sleep quality. The guy that I just parted ways with, he had an apnea mask and it was. It was great. And then one night he forgot it and I was like, I think you're suffering. And then the whole next day he was like, yeah, like I'm anxious and I'm lightheaded. And I'm like, yeah, you didn't sleep. You were gasping the whole night.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I probably. That's probably on the. The to do list very soon.

[Josie Marcelino]

Probably make you just sleep better.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I just feel like I'm up. I. I'm an up and down pisser. And I feel like.

[Chris Vega]

I'm saying if you sleep soundly, you will piss yourself.

[Zach Amico]

No, I don't want to fucking take it off and take it on and take it off and take it on. I twist around a lot.

[Chris Vega]

I think you'll be fine.

[Josie Marcelino]

I think it's. I think it's less of a hassle than you think to succeed.

[Chris Vega]

I think you'll be getting such better sleep that. That won't bother you as much.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, okay. I. With having a piss because I drink a lot of water. At night. But I have been having a starry zero before I go to bed. And they say the potassium in that keeps you from having a piss all night.

[Chris Vega]

It lets you absorb the salt.

[Zach Amico]

Well, it absorbs the water a little more.

[Josie Marcelino]

How many times you piss in at night?

[Zach Amico]

Two.

[Josie Marcelino]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

Two, three. Sometimes I drink like I'm at least two. At least a liter or two of water before bed.

[Josie Marcelino]

Why not just do that earlier?

[Zach Amico]

Because I like cold water in the middle of the night.

[Josie Marcelino]

All right.

[Zach Amico]

Probably because I'm up with my sleep apnea.

[Chris Vega]

I keep a cold seltzer next to the bed.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

At all times.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I keep a bathing water seltzer.

[Chris Vega]

I drink a liter of seltzer.

[Josie Marcelino]

Like a truly.

[Chris Vega]

No.

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Josie Marcelino]

Worried about you?

[Chris Vega]

No. I keep a live resin pen and a seltzer.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. For a while I was doing the carbonated liquid death, and my wife heard me open one in the middle of the night, and she was, are you drinking a beer in your sleep? And I had to show her that it was carbonated water.

[Chris Vega]

I mean, I might drink a beer in my sleep sometimes, but very, very rarely.

[Zach Amico]

It happens for the best of us.

[Chris Vega]

Well, I definitely did that. Like, I went to a bachelor party. And after the bachelor party, I had to. I kept a beer next to the. I did a couple bumps of kids before bed. And then I woke up and I was like, mar, let's just drink some of this beer so I can go back to sleep. And I hit. You know, I always keep the live resin pen. Just do a couple of rips. Cold dabs.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

Put on the sleep mask. I got the Bluetooth in there. Throw on some white noise, go right back to sleep.

[Zach Amico]

Perfect.

[Chris Vega]

Wake up at 4.

[Zach Amico]

Well, I had two stories that are very crucial to us in our relationship, Chris. Very interesting developments in the world.

[Chris Vega]

Oh, no, you're not going to show that.

[Zach Amico]

No, no. All right. In the world of drugs, illegal drug peddlers have turned NYC neighborhood into open air prescription pill market.

[Chris Vega]

I saw that video last night. That's pretty crazy. Where is it?

[Zach Amico]

Show it to us, boys, because Shannon's out today, so we got G Mike throwing in. Thank you very much, buddy.

[Chris Vega]

Is it like Roosevelt Avenue? I don't want to go all the way over there.

[Zach Amico]

Well, let's check it out.

[Chris Vega]

Well, so far I've seen Vicks, vaporub and Advil, so I don't care about that.

[Zach Amico]

Do we see.

[G Mike]

I don't know if there's a video here. Let me see.

[Zach Amico]

Do we have a neighborhood?

[Chris Vega]

The New York Post Instagram has A video. Oh, that's not too bad. I'll take the A train up there. We get some a fungo. Be a nice day for us.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it would be a fun day.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So yeah, this is a. It's about a two block thing and yeah, it's just dick pills, Ritalin, painkillers.

[Josie Marcelino]

Where's this?

[Chris Vega]

Washington Heights.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, they just set up. Like the fucking guys that used to sell socks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like the sock guys.

[Chris Vega]

Wait, keep scrolling. I want to see some more pictures.

[Zach Amico]

They said they it's coming from the Dominican Republic.

[Chris Vega]

Okay. I mean, I don't really need to.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's close.

[Chris Vega]

Get Viagra everywhere now. It's like, not even. I more want like the kind of things, you know, like nine cents a pill. Yeah, it's not bad, but it's the kind of thing where it's like, I don't necessarily want the things that are like fun from this guy. I'm like, hey, like, I just don't want to go to the doctor in case I need antibiotics. If I need antibiotics, I'm sick. Just give me a bottle of those so I can keep them in the house. Dumb shit like that.

[Zach Amico]

Stand online at Duane.

[Chris Vega]

Ready?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, they can. I don't know how. How does it take so fucking long?

[Josie Marcelino]

Because nobody has their shit ever.

[Zach Amico]

Stackers.

[Chris Vega]

Oh, they got the original stackers. That'd be fun.

[Zach Amico]

Are Those the. The Y2? The. The. The ones that had the wasp on them?

[Chris Vega]

No, that was something else. That wasn't Stacker two. So Stacker two was a fat burner that they had to change the formula of because one of the main ingredients became illegal very quickly. It just like sped you up. I remember from like the. It was late 90s. They used to advertise it on like MTV during Real World. And yeah, it was definitely just for like literally that it was the same

[Zach Amico]

hours, like trim spa.

[Chris Vega]

But I feel like Save by the Bell became syndicated and the Jesse Spano thing made everybody go, I want those. And then they just started marketing these things to children.

[Zach Amico]

Are those oxys?

[Chris Vega]

No, that says amoxicillin on it.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, damn it. All right, well, the other thing I wanted to bring up was an article and you guys can. You can read it to us on Instagram. G. Mike, I sent it to you. There's a resurgence of something we have discussed many times that we thought we missed out on and it turns out way loads.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's literally. That's what popped into my head.

[Zach Amico]

Are being made again.

[Josie Marcelino]

What?

[Chris Vega]

You know, people get so mad at the Chinese Communist Party. But I think they're doing good work.

[Zach Amico]

They're bringing back the hundreds. The fucking wolf of Wall Street. Black. The Black Beauties.

[Chris Vega]

Oh, my cousin Linda loved those.

[Josie Marcelino]

What. What did Quaaludes treat? Like, what was their original usage?

[Zach Amico]

Not being fucked up.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah. Not wanting to pay for beers at a bar.

[Josie Marcelino]

Like, medically, like, why'd they go on the market?

[Chris Vega]

I don't know. They'll put anything on the market.

[Josie Marcelino]

I don't know. What.

[Zach Amico]

Tell us about it, boys.

[G Mike]

Michael. All right. Says here the quiet, curious return of Quaaludes. Decades ago, methaqualone was hailed by the counterculture for its revolutionary potential before being outlawed by the US government and vanishing. Now the drugs making a comeback to our deranged president.

[Chris Vega]

Present.

[Zach Amico]

Present.

[G Mike]

Oh, present.

[Zach Amico]

And yeah, the producer began. And apparently certain circles are beginning to get them.

[Chris Vega]

Wait, are guys just pressing them? Like, is it.

[Zach Amico]

No, I think they're being made officially. Like, they really keep scrolling through that?

[Chris Vega]

Because I didn't see this. I didn't even know vice still existed. I thought they went out of business. I thought they got bought by Infowars, which got bought by the Onion.

[Zach Amico]

Well, I saw this today and I was very excited.

[Josie Marcelino]

Can you keep an article?

[Zach Amico]

You want me to read it? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[G Mike]

Says the drug was unexpectedly adopted by the counterculture thanks to its heavenly effects. Even hippies who had previously drawn a moral line between their parents soul. Soul deadening downers and their own consciousness expanding stashes of weed and LSD. By the early 70s, with prescriptions estimated in the millions, Quaaludes had escaped the doctor's office and taken over the dance floor and returned. Referred to as disco biscuits and prized after their loosening inhibitionistless. Buzz. One recipe for potentially catastrophic impairment. Let me keep it on you.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah. Just.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah.

[G Mike]

David Bowie sang about Quaaludes and red wine in his 1973 tune Time Back. Black Sabbath singer Ozzy Osbourne used them, Bill Cosby gave them to his victims, and Frank Zappa told of hurting for his sleep in the Quaalude moonlight. Led Zeppelin's Robert Plant, no stranger to intoxicants, has referred to them as poison.

[Zach Amico]

Hell, yes.

[G Mike]

But unlike any other drug ever, the clampdown ultimately wiped out the supply, transferring lewds into the disco era relic, the holy grail of pharmaceuticals, with expired batches long forgotten in desk drawers, becoming gold dust. Like Belfort's 1993 discovery of the batch of lemon 714 Quaaludes. For every expired batch that was consumed, lewds faded Further and further into the annals of drug history. Until now, only the past 12 months, Quaaludes have been making an improbable renaissance. The sedative has been popping up in psychonaut circles and drug forums, threatening to unmoor consumers as they scale. Not in this. On a scale not seen since the 70s, so. So, too, have closely related analogs burst into drug markets, including some of purported hundredfold higher strength.

[Chris Vega]

They are just making these, but whatever. I don't care.

[Zach Amico]

God, I miss Nate.

[Chris Vega]

Oh, maybe we just have them.

[Zach Amico]

Nate would have these on the way.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They would already know. He would have brought up this article after he already had them and told us on the air that he had that.

[Zach Amico]

Yep. And then we all would have missed tomorrow.

[Chris Vega]

And the show's later.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, boy. So, hey, if you're a friend of the show and you found out wherever these are going, send a boy a dm. I'm very curious.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Now, obviously, we cannot drink on these.

[Chris Vega]

Sure.

[Zach Amico]

We cannot drink on these.

[Chris Vega]

We could drink a little.

[Zach Amico]

We have to be very careful.

[Chris Vega]

Like Michelob Ultras.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

No shots.

[Chris Vega]

No shots. That's. That would be crazy.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. No more Guzzi thoughts.

[Josie Marcelino]

I'm not ready to lose you two. Please don't drink on Quailin.

[Chris Vega]

We'll just do the.

[Zach Amico]

The.

[Chris Vega]

The grapefruit beer. It's only 3% alcohol.

[Josie Marcelino]

Oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

That's. You know, that's very.

[Chris Vega]

And it's refreshing.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it is.

[Chris Vega]

Got vitamin C in it.

[Zach Amico]

It's citrusy.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

Doesn't grapefruit, like, counteract antibiotics or something? Grapefruit does something. You're not allowed to have grapefruit. And look that up. Why can't you have grapefruit? Certain people can't have grapefruit. I don't know. I think it does something with medication.

[Zach Amico]

It is my. It is my favorite mixer.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

Grapefruit is disgusting. I like a fresh grapefruit. No, it's the nastiest thing ever.

[Chris Vega]

I have one of those spoons with the ridges on the side because I'm an old man now and I just eat Grapef sometimes. I hate a happy grapefruit. 42.

[G Mike]

Yeah, I have the answer here. It says it does the exact opposite. Instead of countering or weakening a medication, grapefruit magnifies it, which can actually cause an overdose.

[Josie Marcelino]

So don't do that.

[Chris Vega]

Sounds like we're getting more bang for our buck if we drink these grapefruit beers on Quaaludes.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I think you're saving.

[G Mike]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Saving time and money. Here.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Time is money. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chris Vega]

We're spending money on these Quaaludes.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

We gotta save some time with these grapefruit beers.

[Zach Amico]

That's my favorite. Vodka tonic with a splash of grapefruit. The Stanhope is my go to drink.

[Chris Vega]

I love a Grapefruit Collins. Tom Collins with grapefruit juice.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Delicious.

[Josie Marcelino]

It's the grossest of the fruits.

[Zach Amico]

No, that was. That was the. The. The.

[Chris Vega]

No, persimmons.

[Josie Marcelino]

What the is a persimmon?

[Chris Vega]

Exactly?

[Zach Amico]

No, it's durian.

[Chris Vega]

That's also gross.

[Josie Marcelino]

I think that's just stinky. Doesn't that taste good?

[Chris Vega]

Does taste good.

[Josie Marcelino]

I've not tasted or smelled it.

[Chris Vega]

They sell them in Bensonhurst.

[Zach Amico]

That was the opening ground to breakfast at my grandma's house was half a grapefruit with some honey.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That is the old lady breakfast.

[Chris Vega]

She was on Quaaludes. She knew what she was doing.

[Zach Amico]

I wish she wasn't on shit. Yeah. No, no, my thing. No. Nobody's done anything fun.

[Josie Marcelino]

My grandma's could have used some lewds too. That would have been nice.

[Zach Amico]

My wife sent me a thing the other day. It was, are you. Are you autistic or German? And everything was exactly the same. It was just. It was one circle.

[Chris Vega]

That's funny.

[Zach Amico]

Hey, guys. Today's episode is brought to you by our great friends at Yo Kratom, home of the $60 kilo. If you use Kratom. If you don't, don't start on my account. But if you do use Kratom, there's only one place to get it from, and that's yocratum.com why? Because they have the best strains, the best customer service, and they're the marquee sponsor of everything we do here at the network. So stop going to bodega smoke shops and gas stations and get a little bit of Kratom at a time. When you go to Yo Kratom and get a whole kilo delivered right to your door for just 60 bucks, there's no promo code needed because it's already the best deal in the world of Kratom. Check them out. Let them know you love them, because I know I do. Yocratum.com Home of the $60 kilo. Okay, well, actually, I want to do this first. This comforting ice cream flavor was the most purchased in all 50 states in 2025. I thought we could guess.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, well, it's obviously not chocolate, because that would be ridiculous.

[Josie Marcelino]

Comforting.

[Zach Amico]

Comforting makes me think mint chocolate chip.

[Josie Marcelino]

I'm gonna go see Comfort to Me is cookie dough.

[Zach Amico]

That is my favorite.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, yeah, that's like the ultimate.

[Chris Vega]

I would go cookie dough or like rocky road.

[Josie Marcelino]

I feel like cookies and cream.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Josie Marcelino]

It's probably cookies and cream.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. I'm gonna go mint chocolate chip. Tell us about it, boys.

[G Mike]

Says your vanilla was the most purchased ice cream flavor in 2025 according to Instacart data.

[Chris Vega]

Wait, this from Fox News?

[G Mike]

No, no, this is new.

[Chris Vega]

Come on now, come on now. It says Fox. It says via Fox News, Right?

[Zach Amico]

It was going to be Dulce de Lache.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's also such a basic, like, that's like saying, oh, yeah, like people bought more regular milk than like chocolate or strawberry milk. Like, of course they did. That's your base option.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, I agree. I don't understand why that would even matter.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

And also, I think the toppings game is so elevated at the grocery store now.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

You want the, you're buying the toppings, you're buying some sort of magic shell or some sort of peanut butter syrup or the ice.

[Josie Marcelino]

Or the vanilla is like, oh, we're doing apple pie, we're doing brownies.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

Little scoop of vanilla. It's an addition.

[G Mike]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

You wouldn't be like, oh, we're doing brownies and we're also doing a dollop of chocolate. I would think about chocolate chip cookie dough with that.

[Chris Vega]

Let's think about who's doing Instacart. It's the old, right?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

Largely fuck you.

[Chris Vega]

Outside of New York City, it's the. Outside of major cities, it is the elderly that is using Instacart, I guess.

[Josie Marcelino]

Or the. Or the young and busy or the young and without a car.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, the car less.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, this is what I'm saying. Most of the country is people with cars.

[Josie Marcelino]

All right.

[Chris Vega]

Who just go to the grocery store. They may order the stuff that's like for pick up when they get there, but they go to the grocery store.

[Josie Marcelino]

Every single time. I do Instacart, I get, I get a guy and guys do not know how to shop for groceries. They always fuck something up. It's a nightmare. It's the worst thing in the world.

[Chris Vega]

So then why are you just go

[Josie Marcelino]

to the store with what vehicle you don't live nearest?

[Chris Vega]

You live in a city.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

There's not a store near your house.

[Josie Marcelino]

I live in a great area. I do. Sometimes I walk to Trader Joe's, but it's a 40 minute walk. And if I've got like, I can't get a fucking rotisserie chicken and a bunch of shit and then walk back with it.

[Chris Vega]

Get one of those old lady carts.

[Josie Marcelino]

I can't do that.

[Chris Vega]

All right, pussy. You're just gonna keep using Instacart and not liking your groceries?

[Josie Marcelino]

Yes.

[Chris Vega]

Sometimes it costs more money.

[Josie Marcelino]

I know.

[Zach Amico]

It's frustrating because you'll get someone not great with English.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And they'll just get you something that's in the section of the thing. So, like, one time, my wife.

[Chris Vega]

It's like, literally when I sent my fucking handicapped brother to the store just to give him something to do. And he'll be like, I got this. And I go, that's not what I asked you for.

[Josie Marcelino]

Some guy.

[Chris Vega]

It was right near the other thing.

[Josie Marcelino]

One of the shoppers told me the whole store was out of apples. All apples. They didn't have a single one.

[Zach Amico]

I did have a guy in the store. Was out of bread.

[Chris Vega]

Bread?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, bread.

[Josie Marcelino]

It's like, no, they're not bread.

[Zach Amico]

And one time my wife ordered. And she ordered pesto, and we got guacamole.

[Chris Vega]

You put guacamole on pasta? If you really wanted to.

[Zach Amico]

It wasn't. You know, it's not ideal all the time. Gopuff's pretty solid because you get. They have exact. They have a stock. So it'll be like three left on this thing.

[Josie Marcelino]

Okay.

[Chris Vega]

Okay. Yeah. But they have their own locations.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

And the people who work for them are like. They know what they're doing.

[Zach Amico]

Um, no.

[Chris Vega]

It's like somebody in the center just puts the bag together and the guys just pick it up for. On the scooter. Instacart is somebody walking into a supermarket they've never been into. Yes.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

And because they're. They finished a UberEats delivery nearby, and they're like, oh, this app pinged. I'll just go get this lady groceries.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Gopuff is pretty good. Like, you get exactly what you wanted. I've had a couple times where I've done, like, a big shopping, and the person's been a real dick about bringing it in, and I have an elevator. But they'll be like, I don't have a cart to bring this up.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

I'll be like, that's not my issue. One time, the guy went. It was an Indian guy. He goes, please, Sir, I am 65 years old. And I was like, I don't care.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah. Why are you doing the grocery job?

[Zach Amico]

One time, it was a hood. The only time I've ever written a Karen email to Gopuff, it was a black guy. Doesn't matter. Kind of does because he made me come all the way downstairs because I had ordered, like, three cases. I've been doing very good on my zero sugar soda.

[Chris Vega]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

And I had, like, three, like, 12 packs. And he goes, I carry this shit on the phone to me, because you got to come down. And I come down and I go, are you help me take it up? And he goes, I'd be better. I best be getting a fat motherfucking tip

[Chris Vega]

again. Why are you doing the grocery job?

[Zach Amico]

And I do tip. I tip 25 bucks on a 100 order.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's a very good tip.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I've been told I over tip

[Chris Vega]

recently, but, yeah, there's no such thing as over tipping.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I think. I think I'm just generous.

[Josie Marcelino]

I. I also, as someone who over tips, that is an over tip. Like, because they're. Yeah. It's not like they. They make a base wage.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. But if they're carrying all that.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, no, it's generous and it's good and it's. You should. But, yeah, that's an over tip.

[Chris Vega]

He's. He's tipping extra for to hopefully.

[Josie Marcelino]

I know you're a bar.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Like, yeah, you're not wrong.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah. I know why Zach is tipping. I bet the Leone's guys gets more than 25%.

[Zach Amico]

Leonie's does very well.

[Josie Marcelino]

I don't know what.

[Chris Vega]

Leonie's Giant Hero Shop?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, Leonie's does very well. By me.

[Josie Marcelino]

Okay, well, I've had an aversion to. I don't know what it is, but, like, lately I've, like, only wanted very, very specific things, and none of them are fudgeing from the grocery store. I've, like, only wanted Starbucks for, like, the last several months. And I'm like, I can't. I'm, like, getting acid reflux because I'm like, I can't consume this much. It's awful. I know. I feel like shit, but I don't know what it is.

[Chris Vega]

Like, weirdly, your brain is telling you that you want to be a fatso.

[Josie Marcelino]

I don't want to, though.

[Zach Amico]

Mine's been lemon. Italian ice. I think it's just the heat.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I got a frozen lemonade the other day from Annie Ann's.

[Josie Marcelino]

I didn't know they did frozen.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, boy.

[Josie Marcelino]

I love their lemonade. I didn't know they did frozen.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, boy. Real summer treat I gotta keep myself away from. Okay, well, we've come to it. Oh, not Josie's thing yet.

[Josie Marcelino]

Okay, thank God.

[Zach Amico]

But our favorite segment here on the show butts. Indians versus

[Chris Vega]

Hygiene. Is it always hygiene? They lose.

[Zach Amico]

And now it started as just Indians versus trains. And I'll tell you what the.

[Josie Marcelino]

Does that mean?

[Chris Vega]

Do you not know?

[Josie Marcelino]

I mean, is it just Indian guys committing suicide by the train?

[Chris Vega]

You ever see the videos of them just hanging off the trains because they fill them too much and then they fall off every time they get to a tunnel?

[Josie Marcelino]

No. That's horrific.

[Zach Amico]

So it started as I was getting a lot of videos in my feed of Indian guys either getting hit by trains or hanging out of trains and getting headed into polls.

[Chris Vega]

It's better than the unconsensual trains they run on the train.

[Zach Amico]

Yes. Well, I think they're there, last in line and they get picked off. And now it's just become Indians versus Okay. And what I've gathered, they call those

[Chris Vega]

train videos Eat, Pray, Shovel,

[Zach Amico]

Jeep, Pray, Love. Because apparently the safety regulations in India are subpar.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And subpar is the guy's name. And who's in charge of safety over there and where here in America, we would have, like, eight different barricades and giant signs and gates to keep you from walking across that train track. It's just open air. Okay, so this is the new edition of Indians versus. Don't we. Don't we have a intro for that?

[Chris Vega]

You know, Shannon goes to jury duty once.

[G Mike]

Indians versus.

[Zach Amico]

And our first video, Indian versus Train Surfing.

[Josie Marcelino]

Is this snuff?

[Chris Vega]

No, they're not videos of you. Oh, I gotta see that again.

[Josie Marcelino]

Oh,

[Chris Vega]

By the way, if the. If the wire didn't get him, the bridge was gonna get him.

[Zach Amico]

Yep.

[Chris Vega]

He was just not looking ahead of him. On While Train Surfing.

[G Mike]

That's ridiculous.

[Zach Amico]

Have you ever seen the videos when people make, like, homemade mousetraps and you watch, like, two mice go in and then mice watch them.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And go. Well, that's not going to happen to me. That's what all these videos are really. This is now there's more. Oh, we've got five.

[Chris Vega]

Nice.

[Josie Marcelino]

Are they all like that?

[Chris Vega]

Sometimes the Indians win, dude. They are last stand.

[Zach Amico]

This is Indians versus Electricity.

[Josie Marcelino]

I don't. Is it all.

[Chris Vega]

The last one was kind of against it.

[Josie Marcelino]

I don't think I can watch these.

[Chris Vega]

I like that he's upside down. Okay. Seems like he's doing all right.

[Zach Amico]

He's on fire.

[Chris Vega]

Is he?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah. Look at that.

[Chris Vega]

Why doesn't he just let go then?

[Zach Amico]

I don't think he can.

[Chris Vega]

You think he's welded to that?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

Okay, I did not look at that. Was he. What?

[Chris Vega]

Was he welded to that. Let's go back.

[Zach Amico]

See that again?

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Look at his leg. Dude, he's on fire.

[Chris Vega]

No, it seems like he catches fire.

[Zach Amico]

There's a fire right now.

[Chris Vega]

Oh, yeah, he's soldered to that.

[Zach Amico]

Brutal.

[Chris Vega]

Well, I thought he was just doing a fun upside down dance and then he was gonna fall into that wiring.

[Josie Marcelino]

12:30 in the afternoon. What are we doing?

[Chris Vega]

And you don't want us to do Quaaludes?

[Josie Marcelino]

Actually, that might be a better situation, Josie.

[Zach Amico]

I agree with you.

[Josie Marcelino]

We just watching people die and get mauled. It's not even one yet. The sun's out. It's like a nice day.

[Zach Amico]

It's one o' clock somewhere. Indians versus firecracker.

[Josie Marcelino]

It's 10:00am on the west coast.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, no.

[Chris Vega]

First of all, using a match is just ridiculous for firecrackers. Lit cigarette or lighter or get the out. Oh, oh, they're going to go closer to it again. Oh, is that. Oh, it's a blockbuster.

[Zach Amico]

Oh.

[Chris Vega]

Oh, that must have been at least an M80, right?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, well, we'll watch it again. It was a much bigger M80.

[Chris Vega]

The Pirates favorite Firecracker. Run away. Jesus. Yeah, that's not what. By the way, that's not what a blockbuster looks like. You never see like a giant flame come out of.

[Zach Amico]

No, but that's what guys who look like blockbuster look like. Work in a blockbuster. Blockbuster. That Josie's too young for that joke.

[Josie Marcelino]

I went to Blockbuster.

[Zach Amico]

Well, luckily we're almost done. Indian versus electricity too.

[Josie Marcelino]

Oh, my gosh.

[Zach Amico]

There's three of these are Indian versus electricity.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, the first one was also Indian versus electricity.

[Chris Vega]

Oh, is he. It looks like he's jerking off while on fire. Very hot. Check it out.

[Josie Marcelino]

I'm not looking at this.

[Chris Vega]

Oh, What was he trying to do? Get free electricity?

[Zach Amico]

Find out. Let's watch it again.

[Josie Marcelino]

It's crazy because I watch stuff.

[Zach Amico]

He does look like he's jerking off of there, by the way.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, yeah, he does look like. They don't have. They don't have shock paddles there. And he's just got one of those taser fetishes. He likes to get domed by this hardwood.

[Josie Marcelino]

It's insane because I watch shows on Gas Digital and I think something that I hear often on this network is people being like, oh, you know, we all grew up watching videos of people getting murdered or like killing themselves or like these.

[Chris Vega]

Not only that, we had to rent them.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, we had a trade.

[Josie Marcelino]

I never watched that. I don't know what Internet.

[Zach Amico]

You guys are stupid.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, I don't I mean, I guess, but that's. I don't think my brother. I got. I'll text my brother and be like, did you watch people just die?

[Chris Vega]

Text him right now. How old is your brother?

[Josie Marcelino]

He is 28.

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Josie Marcelino]

What do you mean, no?

[Chris Vega]

Kids are soft.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

Sex. An older cousin.

[Josie Marcelino]

I don't have an older boy cousin. Yeah, I do, but I don't talk to him.

[Zach Amico]

Hey, gentleman in the booth, can I please have one of the cough drops that's in my. My fanny pack in the. The lobby, please?

[Chris Vega]

I can't believe there's people who didn't just watch videos that people don't. They got a lot of that off

[Zach Amico]

the Internet by the time I used to have to.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah. The amount of beheading videos go.

[Josie Marcelino]

Never seen any one of them. That's awful.

[Zach Amico]

To a Radisson with other creeps and some guy, a bald man with a ponytail. I mean, always would sell me a clamshell VHS of just these.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, that's not the average American's experience.

[Chris Vega]

Yes, it is. No males our age.

[Zach Amico]

I was a 12.

[Josie Marcelino]

Go find somebody on the street. They're not gonna say that.

[Chris Vega]

G. Mike, help me out.

[Josie Marcelino]

How old you're 34, 38. Oh, okay. And then you're 42. 2. I could go find people within that age range and be like, hey, did you.

[Zach Amico]

Mike, how old are you?

[G Mike]

My Mic's up. I'm 36.

[Zach Amico]

And did you watch snuff videos growing up?

[G Mike]

Yeah, they had, like, Faces of Death. I'm a boy, though.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

I'm saying that. The Gas Digital crew.

[Chris Vega]

Who do you think we were watching them with? Those people don't now work at Gas Digital.

[Josie Marcelino]

I think we go to high school together. Similar breed.

[Chris Vega]

We don't go to Gas Digital high school.

[Josie Marcelino]

I don't think it's normal.

[Zach Amico]

I was gonna say, my friends, I watch those with. One is a chef at Disney. One is a substitute, to be fair.

[Chris Vega]

Equally morbid.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. One is a substitute teacher, one sells snowboards, and one is a crazy guy that lives in the woods.

[Chris Vega]

I can't think of anybody I knew growing up that never saw any of those, like, hood dudes would watch them.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

They call you pussy for not having seen Faces of Death.

[Josie Marcelino]

I think that video of the first one, I think that Indian guy getting electrocuted. Probably the first time I've seen a video of somebody dying.

[Chris Vega]

I bet Nai Naim has seen Faces of Death.

[Josie Marcelino]

Naim is from Philadelphia. He's seen Faces of Death, like, just growing up in his neighborhood. Yeah. He grew up in North Philly in all things.

[Zach Amico]

For them it's called phases of death.

[Chris Vega]

That's true.

[Zach Amico]

We have one.

[Josie Marcelino]

Last of death is the T shirts that they all wear to the funeral.

[Chris Vega]

Why does it say free my guy,

[Zach Amico]

we'll free him from heaven.

[Josie Marcelino]

I am my brother's keeper.

[Zach Amico]

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[Josie Marcelino]

Okay?

[Zach Amico]

This is a man at an airport who I believe now the video claims he was trying to and I don't know how true this is. Pull cast privileges and was very upset with people he felt were beneath him were given service wanted cast privileges.

[Chris Vega]

He should have requested a wheelchair at the airport.

[Zach Amico]

Yep. Woman with a dick. Woman with a dick. What's happened to your police?

[Chris Vega]

Where are your. I didn't realize they translated your shows into India.

[Zach Amico]

If he hits the fucking attack on the son of a. I feel like

[Chris Vega]

I'm watching an episode of my guy.

[Zach Amico]

Pause.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's Pujan Punjabi. Jay Gomez.

[Zach Amico]

Louis Jeet Gomez. Get the out of me now. This guy to away who stole Jacob get the away.

[G Mike]

You.

[Zach Amico]

You. Be a good song.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah. Can we remix that? Can you throw that into any one of the AIs? It'll make us a song.

[Zach Amico]

We got to get through it first. You think any police officer will dare touch me? You think?

[Josie Marcelino]

Entertain me.

[Zach Amico]

If he hits some kind of tackle.

[Josie Marcelino]

Son of a.

[Zach Amico]

Go for it.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, I would.

[Zach Amico]

I'd like you to take the feet. I'll take the talk.

[Chris Vega]

Talking to a woman. Whoever's filming this is talking to his wife, please.

[Josie Marcelino]

Oh, awesome.

[Zach Amico]

I have United Airlines CEO has reserved

[Josie Marcelino]

a business class ticket for.

[Chris Vega]

Not.

[Zach Amico]

No, no, no. I'm not having to sleep. I don't care.

[Chris Vega]

I don't listen to you.

[Zach Amico]

Get the. Away from me.

[Chris Vega]

He's not going in. All right.

[Zach Amico]

Not going anywhere.

[Chris Vega]

He didn't resist at all.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, wait.

[Chris Vega]

I'm telling you, man, you lay your hands on me, you're going to regret it.

[Josie Marcelino]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, There we go.

[Chris Vega]

That way. That's a pretty good haymaker.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's awesome.

[Chris Vega]

By the way, the guy filming who said he was going to do something just kept filming.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, 100. I mean, they had enough people.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That guy got it rough that.

[Josie Marcelino]

It was so good.

[Zach Amico]

Airport jail.

[Josie Marcelino]

I do think that. I think that maybe the whole cast system thing is not like. I think that's just added in.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I don't think it's part of it.

[Chris Vega]

I think that guy was just wiling out at the airport.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, Yeah. I think, if I'm not mistaken, and I might be, but I think caste system, that it's almost more like a. Like a not racial, but like sort of like it's a specifically Indian thing.

[Chris Vega]

Shades.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah. And so it's like, it's not like

[Chris Vega]

if those were white people, they would be a higher cast than him.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chris Vega]

If you base it on.

[Josie Marcelino]

I think that was just probably like a rich, privileged douche having an airport freak out. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

When he went, the CEO of United Airlines has promised me a business class ticket. I went, oh, he's nuts.

[Chris Vega]

You might just be hammered.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's usually what it is.

[G Mike]

You just.

[Josie Marcelino]

You have a couple pops and you. You throw a couple of. Couple of zannies in there and then you shake that up, you get that

[Chris Vega]

that could be like an Ambien that he thought wasn't going to hit until he was sitting.

[Josie Marcelino]

Or he could be having what I had when I had my airport freak out. He could just be having, like, some brain damage.

[Zach Amico]

Actually got electrocuted.

[Chris Vega]

An airport freak out.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah. When I had my When I had my brain injury, before we knew what was happening, that was like. The first sign of it was I was in Heathrow Airport and I was losing my shit. And I was. I was calling everybody, like, faggots and pussies, and I was a night. It was bad. It was bad, so.

[Zach Amico]

And I like family running by, going, we forgot Kevin. I. I have a family member who also had an airport meltdown who my family does not speak about, so.

[Chris Vega]

Really? Yeah, well, you're speaking about it. You may as well tell the story.

[Zach Amico]

My uncle is schizophrenic.

[Chris Vega]

Uncle Ted.

[Zach Amico]

And he. I apparently, was found at an airport.

[Chris Vega]

I apparently. He said, I know what side it's on.

[Zach Amico]

No, no. Really? No, German side.

[Chris Vega]

Really?

[Zach Amico]

And was down in the airport screaming that the Mafia was after him.

[G Mike]

Really?

[Zach Amico]

Yep, yep, yep. Then we didn't see Uncle Rich much more than that. After that, he was also.

[Chris Vega]

It was true.

[Zach Amico]

No, no, no, not necessarily. He just wasn't allowed around me much.

[Chris Vega]

Oh, I gotcha. Because he was just crazy.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

The Mafia wants me to molest this boy. That's how they stop being after me.

[Chris Vega]

Well, they're grossed out by gay stuff. They don't want to touch you.

[Josie Marcelino]

This is Mafia repellent.

[Zach Amico]

It's like garlic.

[Chris Vega]

For a great way to not get taken in by goons is just come on your own face.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, My. My German side of my family, once something is upsetting, they kind of. There's no trauma dumping at Holly. Like, yeah, my wife's family are Irish. Halfway into any dinner where everybody's talking shit.

[Josie Marcelino]

Oh, really? See, that's kind of normal for Irish.

[Chris Vega]

My Irish family, it's usually just the women.

[Zach Amico]

Well, it's mostly women.

[Chris Vega]

Okay.

[Josie Marcelino]

Are they tuned up when it happens? Because that's the only time I've ever seen them. Really?

[Zach Amico]

No, no.

[Chris Vega]

I mean, secretly, some of them.

[Zach Amico]

Maybe

[Josie Marcelino]

all the Irish broads in my family, it's like they. They. We don't. Nobody on the Irish side talks about anything. And then they get. They start tuning up, and then it lets out.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, now that could be dead show in the middle of dinner. And then, you know, just some. Some details come out.

[Chris Vega]

I was at an Irish wake at a bar, and I didn't really know the family was like, friend, you know? And then this one cousin just didn't get a song on the playlist, flipped out, said a bunch of stuff I didn't understand, walked out, and I looked at my boy whose uncle had just died, and I went, that's the real Irish. Goodbye. Screaming at Your family about something nobody understands and just leave. And storming out.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, my God, dude. When we pulled up, my wife had a cousin who passed, and the wake was at a VFW in Marine Park.

[Chris Vega]

I know that vfw.

[Josie Marcelino]

If you could pick where your wake was gonna be.

[Zach Amico]

Not a VFW in Marine Park, I'll tell you that.

[Chris Vega]

Now there's a budget in my will for an open bar.

[Josie Marcelino]

If, God forbid, I die untimely, I would like you to have my wake at the Rainforest Cafe.

[Zach Amico]

I think that's fair. Sure.

[Josie Marcelino]

I would like that. There's one in Atlantic City still. That would be nice.

[Chris Vega]

Is there not still one by the Natural history museum in D.C. no. Here.

[Josie Marcelino]

I didn't know we had a Natural History Museum up here. I don't know. I live in Philly. I don't live up here.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, take acid and go through the fucking aquarium.

[Josie Marcelino]

I don't want to do. One time I got high at the aquarium. I took the only time I've ever willingly taken an edible. I did it at the aquarium.

[Chris Vega]

Smart.

[Josie Marcelino]

It was not a ton of THC. It was literally 10 milligrams. I saw. God.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that'll do you. If you don't do them, though.

[Josie Marcelino]

Oh, my God. It was. It was. That's the most afraid I've ever been in my life. But before I got to that point, because I didn't get afraid until we went to get hot dogs. Afterwards, I freaked out at the hot dog place. But in the aquarium, it was still awesome because it was still climbing up. There was a fish.

[Chris Vega]

No. Water is calming. She stayed in the aquarium.

[Josie Marcelino]

I love the aquarium. Air condition. I'm a member. I don't even live in Baltimore anymore. I am still a member of the Baltimore Aquarium. It's my favorite place.

[Zach Amico]

Great penguin exhibit.

[Chris Vega]

It's so good.

[Josie Marcelino]

It's penguins and puffins, but you can't

[Chris Vega]

be too high to enjoy a penguin.

[Josie Marcelino]

There's. They have. There was a section of pikes, like, long nose pikes. And I. For some reason.

[Zach Amico]

No, no, no, no.

[Chris Vega]

I think you have a speech impediment.

[Josie Marcelino]

Shut up. Shut up.

[Chris Vega]

Those. Those are right near Marine park. Also.

[Josie Marcelino]

No. I was dating one at the time. But no, it was. They had a section along those pikes. And for whatever reason, I got in my brain that they look like rigatonis. And I've never laughed that hard in my life. Still to this day, that's my favorite. I wish that I could feel the joy that I felt looking at the

[Zach Amico]

rigatoni fish when we pulled up to the. The. The. The. The. What do you call the thing after the. The funeral? The. The reception, whatever.

[Chris Vega]

I don't know, Dinner, whatever.

[Zach Amico]

It was at a vfw. It was sandwiches at a vfw.

[Chris Vega]

Okay. And that's a dinner.

[Zach Amico]

It's never good when there's people that are at the dinner that didn't come to the funeral.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yes, that rules.

[Zach Amico]

And especially we do. We pulled up and my wife's aunt is like so sweet. Like, she's definitely who my wife is gonna be as an old lady. Super sweet, little scatterbrained. And she. She sees her one of the other aunts, and she goes, she has a problem. And we're like, yeah. She's like, yeah, this is gonna be an issue. This lady was tuned up. We got in and somebody had just had a baby and she shoved this baby at everyone's face to say that she had eyes like the girl who just passed away.

[Chris Vega]

Oh, I think you've told me the story, which is so creepy.

[Zach Amico]

Hammered.

[Chris Vega]

Every time you tell me the story, I think about that scene in fucking Adam's Family values.

[Zach Amico]

Yes. Well, it's Rosemary's baby. He has his father's eyes.

[Chris Vega]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

She's going, didn't she have Aaron's eyes? It's like, release someone and God replaces them. Hammered.

[Chris Vega]

By the way, my cousin who passed away not long ago, if she was at her own wake, she would have been picking up her own baby and doing it. Also, one of my uncles tried to fight another one of my uncles at that VFW hall on like my grandmother's 80th birthday or something.

[Zach Amico]

Yep. Man, I wish you'd. If you had seen. Have you ever been to a funeral where somebody got the hook? Speaking.

[Chris Vega]

Oh, no.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yes. Geez.

[Zach Amico]

Go.

[Josie Marcelino]

Mine's not as interesting as my lesbian cousin decided to drink and try her first.

[Chris Vega]

To be fair, the hook is the only way that when that starts vibrant, it's the only thing that makes you squirt.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

My lesbian cousin tried stand up for the first time and got the hook at a funeral. Yeah, it was bad. It was poorly timed.

[Zach Amico]

At my dearly departed friend Doug's funeral.

[Josie Marcelino]

Oh, you told me one of his

[Zach Amico]

exes went up and she's a very sweet girl who I like a lot of. She definitely self medicated to get through it and in front of his family. And very young nieces and nephews talked about their S M relationship and how she was a dominatrix and all the stuff they used to do.

[Chris Vega]

Well, that's not good.

[Zach Amico]

And then that's for after the dinner. A certain person who you're aware of went up. Oh, who loves werewolves?

[Chris Vega]

Oh, no.

[Zach Amico]

Took it upon himself to speak at the funeral. You've heard me mention this before. If you're a fan of the show. I have a. I have an affair. I have a friend who is a middle aged gentleman who loves heavy metal and werewolves and kind of thinks he's a werewolf. Kind of thinks he's a werewolf and loves to talk about porn.

[Chris Vega]

Seems like he would love trains.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

Really into, but not like Indians do.

[Zach Amico]

Carries a Walkman.

[Josie Marcelino]

Is he the. Is it the same one that posts himself nude on Facebook?

[Zach Amico]

Mm.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, you told me about this. I think that's great.

[Zach Amico]

He spoke and got applause on his first line and then really decided to milk it.

[Chris Vega]

Oh, no. And he started doing this. Yeah, he got on the top rope.

[Zach Amico]

He goes. He. You know, Doug, such a. He. He was such a big fan of mine. Oh, no, he a big fan of my artwork and everything I do.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, he's a real auteur stick.

[Zach Amico]

He. He just, you know, he always thought I was so talented. It was great. And all I wanted to do was text the guy in the coffin. Yeah, you've got to fucking see this dude

[Josie Marcelino]

so much.

[Zach Amico]

This lovely man.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's the best way to eulogize.

[Zach Amico]

Walked into the funeral, went up to the casket, kneeled, looked around for his seat. And you know how the front row has the comfy chairs for the family.

[Josie Marcelino]

Oh, awesome.

[Chris Vega]

He sat there dead center.

[Josie Marcelino]

Oh, thank God.

[Zach Amico]

Dead center on one of the couches with the dead guy's mom and sisters sick because they had the nicest chairs. And then stood up as the funeral was over in the receiving line. The end of the receiving line. So everyone hugged the. Bob hugged the sisters, and then he stood at the end of the line shaking everyone's hand like he was part of the family.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's awesome.

[Zach Amico]

And oh boy.

[Chris Vega]

Why did nobody say anything? Why didn't you say anything? Because it was too funny.

[Zach Amico]

Because we were busy trying not to laugh hysterically.

[Josie Marcelino]

No, that's the perfect way in front

[Zach Amico]

of my dead friend's family.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, that's the perfect way to honor

[Zach Amico]

already having a rough time with the people that showed up and how they were behaving. Meaning, you know, we were good.

[Chris Vega]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

So we did not get hammered until after the casket was taken away.

[Chris Vega]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

Then we went and got shit hammered and had a barbecue while his friends dragged his bus via hooks in their arms and backs. We didn't show up to that part.

[Chris Vega]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

And then the last person went who decided to do a tight 20.

[Chris Vega]

And they take the engine out of the bus before they dragged it. They were dragging a full size bus with all. With the whole bar in it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And it was a gentleman who we. We refer to as scumbag. His real name. So Scumbag name. I don't want to say his name. Who was a drug dealer who got up completely hammered and starts telling the family about all the times they banged porn stars and did lines in bathrooms and, you know, hooker stories. And then talked about himself for 10 minutes, forgot where he was. And then the body. The person whose funeral was sister had to go. Well, it wouldn't be a dug party until we had to tell somebody they had to go home.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's awesome.

[Chris Vega]

If I should die.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, you will.

[Chris Vega]

I'm saying, you know, in a timely fashion. Please keep an eye out for that at my wake.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

I'm inviting Joanna angel and I'm gonna have her piss all over your wake.

[Chris Vega]

That's fine.

[Zach Amico]

That's great.

[Chris Vega]

That's a show.

[Josie Marcelino]

No, that's exact. Because that's. But I don't want anybody with you.

[Chris Vega]

I don't want anybody to talk about that.

[Zach Amico]

Okay.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, but if she just comes in and says, this is what Chris would have wanted.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

Squirts all over my coffin, it's gonna be awesome. I'd be dead.

[Josie Marcelino]

It's not even like when you. Chris in an airplane. That's great.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chris Vega]

I'll get. I'll certainly get through the River Styx that way.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Josie Marcelino]

Do you want to see the edible fish? I pulled him up.

[Zach Amico]

Yes, please.

[Josie Marcelino]

Look at him. I don't think he looks like a rigatoni sober, but when I was.

[Chris Vega]

He doesn't look like a rigatoni at all.

[Josie Marcelino]

He looks more like a penny if anything.

[Zach Amico]

Nothing like a rigaton.

[Josie Marcelino]

I know, but when I was. When I was. He just. I love him so much. I hope that fish is doing. It was six years ago, so he's probably not. But.

[Zach Amico]

So we have a final thing to do today.

[Josie Marcelino]

Oh, God.

[Zach Amico]

And this was by Josie's volunteering because we watched. We were talking about a video of Josie where she said she may and listen, I'm not going to trash you.

[Josie Marcelino]

No, you please do. Because it's a nightmare.

[Zach Amico]

We are all guilty in some way of code switching from time to time.

[Josie Marcelino]

This is more than that.

[Chris Vega]

Doing it right now. You haven't heard me use actually the N word once.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yes.

[Chris Vega]

YouTube code switching.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Josie Marcelino]

I get so. People give me shit online for the.

[Zach Amico]

I spell the N word up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, Abab.

[Josie Marcelino]

People give me shit for changing my voice, like, because I'll kind of float in and out of some accents. And I think it's. It's like I mimic people when I talk to them sometimes. This was. Not that. I don't know. This was a cadence that I.

[Zach Amico]

So Josie at times. And again, I'm not tragic. I trash.

[Josie Marcelino]

I had to walk.

[Zach Amico]

Josie's been around a lot of the Philly guys because she'll start using John.

[Chris Vega]

Well, I. Look, I've been shitting on. I was at a. Last week, I was at a mostly black wedding in the Caribbean. My friend is Trinidadian descent, but he's from Brooklyn. And I noticed he was raised very properly by his parents, does not have an accent.

[Zach Amico]

And I say Trinidadian. Trinomami.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah, exactly. I literally said to all the white people were there, watch for decode. Switching to Caribbean. He's not good at it, and it's hilarious. He was, like, dropping prepositions. It was fucking. I was like, dude, this is. You don't talk like this. What are you fucking doing?

[Josie Marcelino]

Like, well, so that. So when I talked like this, I was still living in Carroll County, Maryland.

[Zach Amico]

So these are all. There's no black people out there of Josie.

[Chris Vega]

Oh, is this gonna be like havoc.

[Zach Amico]

Where she had a different way of speaking. And I thought. And Josie was nice enough to bring these in for the show.

[Josie Marcelino]

So it's effect. What I told G. Mike is the first one is not crazy bad. And then the other two.

[Chris Vega]

Can we get fucking egregious before we start this video? Can we just go get Josie some black lip liner? Maybe some hoops, bigger hoops with her name in them.

[Josie Marcelino]

I was going through my Snapchat name

[Zach Amico]

across your Titan script real quick.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, I was going through my Snapchat to find these last night, and I. After I found them, I had to go for a walk.

[Zach Amico]

So let's. Let's watch the first one.

[Josie Marcelino]

The first one's not so bad.

[Chris Vega]

I really hope you.

[Josie Marcelino]

Oh, this one? No, this one's bad.

[Zach Amico]

Now, which is that. Which is the one you want to do?

[Josie Marcelino]

The one in daylight is the least bad. And then it builds up.

[Chris Vega]

Do you have a fake tan in that video?

[Josie Marcelino]

No, just in the dark.

[Zach Amico]

So let's watch the least. The least egregious one.

[Josie Marcelino]

The least egregious is the one where I'm in daylight.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you for your bravery to bring

[Josie Marcelino]

these God My eyebrows were crazy. You weirdo. Why are you trying to watch your husband get his eyes lasered off?

[Zach Amico]

This is the least bad one.

[Josie Marcelino]

That's nasty.

[Chris Vega]

Can we run that back?

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah. So that's the least.

[Zach Amico]

Darn it.

[Chris Vega]

From the somebody who's been accused of being a wigger my entire life. I have. There's. You cannot f. I've been doing. I've been podcasting over a decade. I didn't not find me not doing that iron.

[Josie Marcelino]

I didn't have a single black friend back then. I didn't know any.

[Zach Amico]

But you shouldn't have any now because of that.

[Josie Marcelino]

I'm aware.

[Zach Amico]

Go ahead, start, you weirdo.

[Josie Marcelino]

Why you trying to watch your husband get his eyes lasered off? Why you trying to watch that? That's nasty.

[Chris Vega]

What were you watching?

[Josie Marcelino]

You. My best. My best friend was trying. Was watching her husband get LASIK ice surgery. My best friend Karen. I had no reason.

[Chris Vega]

Of course it's your best friend, Karen. Was her husband black? No, she wasn't black. No.

[Josie Marcelino]

Neither of them are black.

[Chris Vega]

What was your SAT score?

[Josie Marcelino]

Mine? 2250, I think that's good.

[Chris Vega]

I don't know. I didn't take this.

[Josie Marcelino]

I had a really good SAT score and.

[Chris Vega]

So how'd you do on the English?

[Josie Marcelino]

That's perfect. Yeah, perfect on my reading and writing. It was my math that I.

[Chris Vega]

She looks like she did that and she still pronounces it he instead of saying. She still calls it Aave when she's at school.

[Zach Amico]

I was.

[Chris Vega]

She looks like she took it as a second language.

[Josie Marcelino]

I need you guys to know this. I was the president of the diversity club in high school.

[Chris Vega]

You pull up any scene from. Have you seen Havoc?

[Josie Marcelino]

No.

[Chris Vega]

You pull up any scene of Anne Hathaway speaking in Havoc.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, bring that up real quick.

[Josie Marcelino]

Is it like me? Am I Ann Hathaway, y'?

[Zach Amico]

All. You wish, y'. All.

[Chris Vega]

She talks like that.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, God. I feel like I'm watching Aaron Duke.

[Josie Marcelino]

The next two are so much worse. Aaron Burke, best friend. Oh. Oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

Have you seen her do stand up? That's how she. She code switches.

[Chris Vega]

Does she really?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, dude, it was the funniest.

[Chris Vega]

I've seen her hoax.

[Zach Amico]

My whole act I did on her show was me making fun of her. She was like, y' all need. Jesus. It's fucking bad.

[Chris Vega]

It's really weird because she's from Minnesota, right? I don't remember. I was at that time.

[Zach Amico]

She talks like she's from Grape Soda. All right, do we have Anne Hathaway and Havoc?

[Chris Vega]

Oh, she has to speak or it doesn't work.

[Zach Amico]

Come on.

[Chris Vega]

But you just tell by the outfit how she's good. Yeah, that hat is crazy.

[Josie Marcelino]

Your fingers, put them on the back of your head. Let's go, Hector.

[Zach Amico]

Spit out the cigarette.

[Josie Marcelino]

Spit it out.

[Zach Amico]

Easy.

[G Mike]

Let's go.

[Zach Amico]

All right. She's not going to talk.

[Josie Marcelino]

Don't worry.

[Chris Vega]

Jump ahead or something. There's a pretty famous one with her in a high school hallway.

[Josie Marcelino]

Stupid questions like, what's closer to you now? Yeah, in your dreams.

[Chris Vega]

She's not going to do it in this one because she's scared of these people. You gotta, like, catch. Yeah, all right.

[Zach Amico]

Don't worry about it.

[Josie Marcelino]

Doesn't matter.

[Zach Amico]

Let's watch these other two. Josie.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah, it gets worse. It gets worse. Oh, and is it my good friend.

[Chris Vega]

All right, all right, pause it. Go back. I need to see that again already.

[Josie Marcelino]

Oh, and is it my good friend that's been there for me all these years? No, it's not that. Oh, it's not that at all. No, it's a motherfucker. If I get there and he's like, you want to suck it and make me feel better? No, I don't. I ain't gonna be doing that. I watch you stuff your face with ice cream, but I ain't you

[Chris Vega]

for social media.

[Josie Marcelino]

And I don't have.

[Chris Vega]

You actually talk like this all the time.

[Josie Marcelino]

Not all the time, but half the time I did.

[Zach Amico]

In between.

[Chris Vega]

Well, not in front of your parents.

[Josie Marcelino]

No, occasionally. But in between these videos was like,

[Zach Amico]

me speaking your moms and your pops.

[Chris Vega]

Her pops wasn't there, was it?

[Josie Marcelino]

My pops was there.

[Chris Vega]

My dad didn't go out for new poets.

[Zach Amico]

No, no, that pops is around.

[Josie Marcelino]

My dad's my best bud, dude. That is my dad's how I learned, because my dad does impressions, and he does them very well, so I think I kind of. I. I learned.

[Chris Vega]

So your dad does racist black people impressions. And you were like, that's an identity time.

[Zach Amico]

There's nothing more fun.

[Josie Marcelino]

Come on. Yeah, my dad. Oh, my dad can do every impression under the sun.

[Chris Vega]

But, like, you just.

[Josie Marcelino]

And then I just. I just. I don't fucking know, dude.

[Chris Vega]

By the way, you could tell it's gonna be bad before she talks if you go back.

[Josie Marcelino]

I knew the way her chin moves. Yeah.

[Chris Vega]

The way her chin cocks. You're like, oh, this is gonna be.

[Josie Marcelino]

Literally, I was able to figure out which videos I was doing. The black sent in by my face in the video. I'm like, doing a fucking face with it, which is Awful.

[Zach Amico]

I wish you could have been around for. And I do think she's always been very funny, but still figuring it out. Yamanika back in the day.

[Chris Vega]

Yeah. I wish I would have seen that.

[Zach Amico]

Was my favorite comedian to see live. Because you would just go into the basement and see bees to hearing no laughter. And you would just hear. I wish a motherfucker would try and rape me. Which is all I could do, my Yamadika voice. But please, I need to see this again. Go.

[Josie Marcelino]

The last one is the worst one. I ain't gonna be doing that. I watch you stuff your face with ice cream, but I ain't you. You don't even understand me right now. I'm so pissed. And I don't have it in me to just be like, no, yourself. Like, I'm gonna leave you out by your lonesome. I don't have it in me.

[Chris Vega]

Who are you talking about?

[Josie Marcelino]

My. A guy that I had a crush on that I had a one night

[Zach Amico]

stand with ice Cream.

[Josie Marcelino]

So called me like two years later and was like, I'm so sad. My girl just broke up with me. Can I please, like, cry on your shoulder? And I went and watched him eat. I bought him ice cream, watched him eat ice cream, let him cry. I didn't have sex with him that night. And now right after that, he joined the Israeli army and now he's over there married to some lady. So she hot? I don't know. He had to block me after he kept trying to solicit nudes from me and she found them. So shout out to you, Aaron.

[Chris Vega]

But why wouldn't you just suck his dick to make him feel better?

[Josie Marcelino]

Because I didn't. I was better than that at that point. I had a little bit of something.

[Chris Vega]

I don't know.

[Josie Marcelino]

I know that I posted this on Snapchat.

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Josie Marcelino]

So I did. So I sent this to like a couple friends, but I just automatically had everything save on Snapchat.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, good.

[Josie Marcelino]

So I have everything from back in the day. So that wasn't like, on my story. That was just like sent to like a couple of.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, that was you talking to. That wasn't your story.

[Chris Vega]

You were sending voice notes.

[Josie Marcelino]

I would send. Yeah. Like, just like talking to my friends. Yeah, I could see.

[Zach Amico]

I could.

[Josie Marcelino]

That was how people my age kind of used Snapchat when it was a thing.

[Zach Amico]

Well, let's see this third one because

[Josie Marcelino]

third one's the worst. Third one I think is the worst.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, no.

[Josie Marcelino]

Yeah. Yep. Do fucking something. Do something. You not doing shit like fucking drink From a fucking water bottle. And you don't have to go to the hospital no more. I ain't feeling bad for your ass. Cause you don't know how to do the drinking.

[Chris Vega]

What the f. Phonique over here?

[Josie Marcelino]

Do fucking something.

[Zach Amico]

I'm a headliner, motherfucker. I've been in war zones. Holy shit. You are so brave.

[Chris Vega]

If you were five years vulnerability.

[Josie Marcelino]

I texted Jay last night and I was like. I texted Big J and I was like, hey, I. I found these videos of me doing a black set, and it's really hilarious, but really embarrassing. Do you think that if I bring it on a podcast, that's going to be detrimental to my career later in the future? And he was like, now, have you seen the video of me trying early stand up? He was like, you're fine. So I was like, all right.

[Zach Amico]

It's worth talking to black people.

[Josie Marcelino]

No, I was talking to white people.

[Zach Amico]

You were talking to the abyss.

[Josie Marcelino]

That last one was about, which is

[Zach Amico]

what I call talking to black people.

[Josie Marcelino]

That last one was me talking to the black.

[Chris Vega]

That was the girl who did her eyebrows.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, that is.

[Josie Marcelino]

I know, I know.

[Zach Amico]

That was magical. I want to thank you for your bravery. We're gonna need to chop those up and use them as sound clips here on the show.

[Josie Marcelino]

God bless. You can have them. That's my gift to you.

[Zach Amico]

Save those. Get those on my.

[Josie Marcelino]

And you know what? God forbid I die untimely, and you have a wake for me in the Rainforest Cafe. Throw that in the fucking montage.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, we will Pause in the arms of an angel.

[Josie Marcelino]

This. Want me to suck something after he eaten ice cream.

[Chris Vega]

Not even vanilla bean. He didn't even get French vanilla. Just regular old vanilla.

[Zach Amico]

That was magic. Thank you so much, Josie. Thank you so much, Chris Vega. And we'll be back on Wednesday here on the Morning Zoo. Goodbye. The bun's begun. No sleeping in. Noon is morning time to him. Papa Mako. Chug it down just like your favorite old beast Clown. Grab a coffee and join the crew. It's Akamiko morning too. It's Akamiko Whoa, whoa. Morning too.