0131. Mike Recine and Brandon Collins

Summary

Zac Amico’s Morning Zoo – Episode 0131

Guests: Mike Recine & Brandon Collins
Date: July 26, 2026
Podcast: GaS Digital Network

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Episode Overview

This episode brings together host Zac Amico and comedians Mike Recine and Brandon Collins (of the Medium Popcorn Podcast and Drunk Black History) for a completely off-the-wall morning. Blending twisted humor, wild anecdotes, and commentary on news and pop culture, the trio dive headlong into everything from gross-out kids’ stories and horror movie riffs to animal attack videos, controversy fallout, aging comics, and the perils of rollercoasters and public bathrooms. If you thrive on chaotic energy, boundary-pushing jokes, and morning radio that’s way “wrong”—this one’s for you.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introductions, Comedy Plugs, and Kids’ Horror Stories

[00:41 – 05:50]

• Recine plugs his show "Racine Time" and a new pay-what-you-want kids’ book, Funny Scary Stories for Kids.
• The comedians reminisce about Goosebumps and the 90s trend of "gross-out" kids’ culture ("Goof Lumps," Meanies).
• Discussion about how hard it is to actually scare kids now; Recine’s 5-year-old required him to make stories more graphic (“…had to rewrite it where a spider, like, cuts a guy’s head off…” — Mike Recine, 07:04).

2. Horror: What Scares Whom?

[07:04 – 10:17]

• Zac admits being freaked out by “Siren Head”:

  "I don’t know what it is, but it frightens me." – Zac Amico, 08:10

• Brandon and Zac argue over whether kids are now more scared by Internet “creepypasta” than traditional horror.
• Pop culture nods: Stephen King gets a mention; Shyamalan’s Glass and its disappointing ending are roasted.

  "He [Shyamalan] can’t… he’s like, ‘Hey, you know all this cool stuff you just watched? It’s not real.’" – Zac Amico, 09:58

3. Hollywood: When No One Tells You ‘No’

[10:17 – 14:19]

• Discussion about auteurs (Shyamalan, Tyler Perry, Nolan, Woody Allen) and self-financing, leading to unchecked creative decisions.
• Industry double standards: Women directors get told ‘no’ constantly, but guys with a bankroll can make anything.

4. Barbenheimer & Hype Fatigue

[13:36 – 14:37]

• The group airs out their fatigue with Barbie (“We get it, lady.” – Zac Amico, 14:03) and Oppenheimer, with praise for Ryan Gosling’s performance.

5. Courtney Stodden, Grooming, and Comedy’s “Bad Sketches”

[14:39 – 21:39]

• The Seinfeld “trifecta” of scandals is (allegedly) completed with Courtney Stodden’s claim about Jason Alexander and a controversial Funny or Die sketch filmed while she was 16/17.
• Ethics in Hollywood are dissected, with acknowledgment that context has shifted over years.
• Zac:

  "That's a... That 16's got miles on it." – Zac Amico, 18:33

• Brandon’s bluntness about body image:

  "I also haven't seen, like, 16-year-olds... They weren't that tight." – Brandon Collins, 17:36

6. Comedy Rooms and Race in Stand-Up

[22:34 – 25:09]

• Zac shares experiences playing to Black audiences and the challenge of “half and half” rooms in Philly.
• Recine expresses regret at not performing in Black rooms more often, praising how much fun and honesty they bring to comedy.

7. Old Hollywood, Body Image, and Industry Manipulation

[26:38 – 30:33]

• The gang debates who told Rosie O’Donnell to lose weight on A League of Their Own (“old school Hollywood,” ultimately Penny Marshall).
• Zac gives a behind-the-scenes view of how producers gently (or otherwise) pressure actresses about appearance; Brandon suspects Madonna was involved, showing the depth of pop culture trivia at the table.

8. Indians vs. Just: Internet Animal Fails

[31:07 – 41:02]

• The show’s recurring bit, “Indians vs. ____,” leads to wild animal footage:
  • “India vs. Parkour”: Flipping mishaps, physical comedy.
  • Security cam video of an escaped leopard storming a liquor store in India (33:08–36:05).

  "90 seconds in that room with that leopard... for, I don't know, half a million?" – Mike Recine, 36:10

  • Jokes about whether they could survive; Zac’s “cat autism” and the fantasy of petting dangerous animals (“…when I see big cats, I want to treat them like Little cats…” – Zac Amico, 36:49).
  • Detailed stories about “cat attacks gone wrong” and the power of even domesticated animals (38:12–39:51).

9. Wild Animal Fights: Ostrich Takedowns & Uncle Fights

[41:02 – 50:59]

• Audience watches South African man fighting an ostrich; conclusion: head control is key, but those birds are dangerous.
• Segment devolves into which wild animals the hosts think they could “take” in a fight.
• Zac relates the story of his “mentally ill” Uncle Angelo, who got beat up by a goose and owns a Batmobile replica (47:10–51:02).

10. Fast Food Food Poisoning & Bathroom Disasters

[52:41 – 58:43]

• News segment: Taco Bell diarrhea crisis — excruciating symptoms, lettuce blame, adult diapers, and the humility of “shitting your Superman pajamas.”
• Mike’s advice:

  "If anybody has the parasite, I would say don't be ashamed of buying those..." – Mike Recine, 54:47

• Zac’s pro tip for best public bathrooms in NYC: Burlington Coat Factory, top floor (59:11).

11. Summer Rollercoaster Horror – Fatal Falls & Safety Rants

[59:40 – 62:14]

• Footage and discussion of a tourist thrown from a roller coaster in Ecuador—lack of seatbelt (“her current status isn't known” – Shannon, 61:31).
• Zac’s conclusion: don’t trust rides “built that day.”

12. Train Fight Videos & Closing

[62:21 – 64:41]

• “Good old fashioned fight on a train” out of Philadelphia; crowd laughs over Anthony Cumia’s curation of viral violence.
• Plugs for Brandom Collins’ Drunk Black History:

  "Drunk Black History at September 20th at the Philly Punchline. … Millennials R Us—stories about being a millennial and being part of the most tortured generation of our time." – Brandon Collins, 64:15

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On kids' horror:

  “It’s hard to like, scare kids these days but I think I can do it.”
  – Mike Recine [03:40]

• On pop music, body image, and 16-year-olds:

  “That 16’s got miles on it.”
  – Zac Amico [18:33]

• On creative autonomy in Hollywood:

  “...he self finances. So no one’s going to tell him no. Yeah, same with Tyler Perry.”
  – Zach Amico [12:40]

• On animal dangers:

  “90 seconds in that room with that leopard... for, I don't know, half a million?”
  – Mike Recine [36:10]

  “I shit my Superman pants.”
  – Zac Amico [57:14]

• On public bathrooms:

  “If you see a Burlington, go to the top floor and they always have a very nice bathroom.”
  – Zach Amico [59:11]

• On rollercoasters:

  “Don't ride rides that somebody built that day.”
  – Zac Amico [61:33]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Intro, plugs & scary stories: 00:41–05:50
• Horror tastes & pop culture: 07:04–10:17
• Hollywood industry talk: 10:17–14:19
• Barbenheimer & Barbie critique: 13:36–14:37
• Courtney Stodden, Seinfeld, & age of consent: 14:39–21:39
• Comedy in Black rooms: 22:34–25:09
• Rosie O’Donnell/A League of Their Own: 26:38–30:33
• Animal attack videos & “Indians vs.”: 31:07–41:02
• Wild animal fights, Uncle Angelo: 41:02–50:59
• Taco Bell diarrhea & bathroom disasters: 52:41–58:43
• Rollercoaster accident footage: 59:40–62:14
• Philly train fight video & outro: 62:21–64:41

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Atmosphere & Tone

• Chaotic, unfiltered, playful, and often intentionally crude.
• Recurring themes: outlandish childhood and family stories, gallows humor, digs at pop culture, bathroom talk, and slapstick approach to the news.
• All speakers bounce off each other with high energy and self-deprecation; no topic too taboo.

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In a Nutshell

If you missed this episode, you missed wild riffs on everything not fit for drive-time radio. From gross-out nostalgia and animal attacks, to the ethics of old and new Hollywood, and how to survive both diarrhea and a leopard attack, Zac and friends keep you laughing, cringing, and glad you didn't tune in with your morning coffee.

Transcript

[Mike Racine]

Fill her up.

[Brandon Collins]

You're listening to the GAS Digital Network.

[Akamiko (show intro/outro voice)]

Animals are here to play jokes and guests to start your day. Tell the sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs and cook some beef Laughter's waiting, don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky Grab a coffee and join the crew. It's Akamiko.

[Brandon Collins]

Morning.

[Akamiko (show intro/outro voice)]

Wake up, wake up, wake up.

[Zach Amico]

Well, hello, hello, hello. It is a beautiful, wonderful Wednesday morning here in New York City. Welcome from the GAS Digital Studios, it's me, your other boy, the international superstar Zach Amico. And it's the Morning Zoo. I'm joined by two wonderful gentlemen across the table from me from the Medium Popcorn Podcast and Drunk Black History, it's our good friend, Brandon Collins. How you doing, buddy?

[Brandon Collins]

I'm good, guys. How y' all doing?

[Zach Amico]

I'm doing absolutely wonderful. And from Racine time, joining us is our great friend from many, many years, Mike Racine. How you doing, dude?

[Mike Racine]

It's great to be here.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you very much for being here and bringing your beautiful family. We got the other boy hanging out in the lobby, who I met when he was just a little guy.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I believe that was the day either T.J. miller gave me Covid or I gave T.J. miller's entire family. Covid.

[Mike Racine]

You had Covid?

[Zach Amico]

I got it the next day.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And your. Your poor little baby was trying to eat my glasses.

[Brandon Collins]

Which year was this? Was this like, 2021?

[Zach Amico]

It was early. Probably before everything started closing.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, 2020 early, y'.

[Zach Amico]

All. Yeah. Yeah. He was little.

[Mike Racine]

Did you. Was it.

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Mike Racine]

No. Okay.

[Shannon (news/research contributor)]

No.

[Zach Amico]

I also went to Joey Rose's that day, and I think a bunch of people that were there got it. So I don't know the timeline completely okay. But that many, many, many years ago.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And it's good to see it, like,

[Mike Racine]

three or four times, I'm pretty sure.

[Akamiko (show intro/outro voice)]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

I only had it once, but, like, I. I knew, like, I probably had it because it was the worst, like, headache.

[Shannon (news/research contributor)]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

I had since my early 20s. Like, after a hangover, like, I'm talking natty ice hangover.

[Akamiko (show intro/outro voice)]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

You know, I mean, so I was like, oh, this isn't normal.

[Zach Amico]

My chick's a teacher. So anything that's coming down the pike, it used to be for a while,

[Mike Racine]

you can't stop it.

[Zach Amico]

When Lewis's kid was still in grammar school because she teaches preschool, I would literally tell Louis, your son's gonna be sick in four weeks. Cause it would work its way up. The younger kids would all get it, and the older kids would all get it. And now it's just. It's inevitable. They're three. They're gonna cough in her face. They're gonna snot all over.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, yeah. So I. Oh. Teachers have the most immune, like, strongest immune systems in the.

[Zach Amico]

Not mine. She hits comment all the time and

[Mike Racine]

we've had like every disease.

[Zach Amico]

Yep, yeah, yep. It's always. It's always. She's always fighting something. It's great to see you guys. Let's knock plugs right out of the way. Mike, what do you want people to check out?

[Mike Racine]

I have a weekly show called Racine Time and I wrote a kid's book that I'm going to be releasing a little bit.

[Zach Amico]

That's awesome.

[Mike Racine]

It's a book of, like, scary stories for kids.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, that's really, really fun.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah. What's going to be called Funny Scary Stories for Kids.

[Zach Amico]

That's awesome. Congratulations.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah. So that screens okay, right?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike Racine]

So I'll be releasing that on my website. That'll be like free and it's pay what you want and. Yeah, I'm excited about it.

[Zach Amico]

That's really awesome.

[Mike Racine]

It's hard to like, scare kids these days, but I think I can do it.

[Zach Amico]

But it's going to be very, like younger kid oriented, I think so it's not like scary stories to tell in the dark.

[Mike Racine]

Well, you never know. You never know with these kids. Like, what scares them.

[Zach Amico]

You don't.

[Brandon Collins]

It's not books, like I said.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah, right, exactly.

[Zach Amico]

Like I read stories to tell in the dark scares me as an adult.

[Brandon Collins]

I mean, Goosebumps is fucked up too.

[Zach Amico]

The lady with the Spiders in Her

[Mike Racine]

Face, I didn't read that one, but I. But Goosebumps was like manageable, I think.

[Zach Amico]

Yes.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You know, so there was a gross out version. Oh, yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

Like barf and die or something. I know what you're talking about. Yeah, those covers were disgusting.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, sorry. We'll get back to it. Anything else?

[Shannon (news/research contributor)]

You're good?

[Mike Racine]

No, I'm good.

[Zach Amico]

Brandon.

[Brandon Collins]

Hey, everybody. You can follow me at Frodo underscore Blackens on instagram and threads frodo blackens.com for show dates, I got stand up stuff, including a new show called Millennials R Us. We're doing jokes and stories about being from a terrible, terrible generation that's just tortured every step of the way. And that's on Wednesday, August 5th at Caveat in New York City. And then of course, drunk black history. Drunkblackhistory.com got a bunch of tour dates set up. New Orleans, Philadelphia, we're actually doing a high black history in Philadelphia as well. And then shows in la, New Orleans, Chicago, all over the place. So check that [e-mail] wonderful.

[Zach Amico]

Find me on Instagram at zachisnotfunny. Punch up live Zach Miko for all my dates. I'm taking a little break, but I got my special coming out next month as well, as I will be hosting mainstage at the gathering of the Juggalos in Missouri. So come hang out. There'll be wrestling. Vanilla Ice will be there.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, sweet God, really?

[Zach Amico]

Millie of Milli Vanilli will be there. Hate breed a bunch of great bands, of course. Icp. So come hang out. And then if you like the show, use promo code [e-mail]. get your episodes early ad free and uncensored. You're a little bit of a discount. And then the live chat, the archives and your bonus Friday episode. Thank you so much, guys, for tuning in. But, yeah, do you remember the gross out Goosebumps? It was like.

[Brandon Collins]

No, it was.

[Zach Amico]

Everything was like some barf or something like that.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Not. And like, it was. It was for, like.

[Brandon Collins]

It's a spoof of R.L. stein.

[Zach Amico]

I remember that.

[Brandon Collins]

And it was like, just. I've ever seen those at the bookstore and just be like, oh, maybe.

[Mike Racine]

I think I might. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, there was a lot of, like, gross spoof stuff. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That was, like, a thing for a while. Like, everything had, like, snot.

[Mike Racine]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

Or things puked or things stunk.

[Mike Racine]

And they made, like, an edgy version of Beanie Babies called Meanies. Do you remember those?

[Zach Amico]

I don't remember that.

[Brandon Collins]

They were Meanies.

[Shannon (news/research contributor)]

Yeah.

[Shannon (news/research contributor, possibly same as E)]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

That's crazy.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah. They made, like, hilarious.

[Brandon Collins]

Were they just frowning and stuff like that or.

[Mike Racine]

They were kind of, like, messed up. Like, there was like a. There was like a. A rabbit with no foot because they cut his.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Mike Racine]

Like that. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Kind of like the garbage pail. Kids.

[Mike Racine]

Kind of like the garbage pail.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, yeah. Those are nasty.

[Zach Amico]

And then I had an. A real monsters toy of the one that's holding his eyeballs.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And his armpit stunk.

[Mike Racine]

Oh, really?

[Brandon Collins]

Why didn't that show never make a comeback? That was such a good, creative show. Like, I feel like it's still.

[Mike Racine]

Oh, yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

Goof lumps.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, okay. Yeah, there it is.

[Brandon Collins]

Brings back the. Yeah. Chunky or whatever.

[Zach Amico]

Goof.

[Mike Racine]

Are you slime? Yeah, I do kind of remember that, but what? This is like a parody.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

So gross. And they were probably Terribly written. I never gave him a chance.

[Zach Amico]

I definitely had them. But I wrote my aesthetic now.

[Mike Racine]

I wrote this one story about, like a, like a giant spider army and some kid uses it to, like, take over the world. And my. My 5 year old was like, that's not scary. So I had to rewrite it where, like, a spider, like, cuts a guy's head off.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, wow.

[Mike Racine]

Like, I had to, like, rewrite because he was like, it's not scary enough.

[Brandon Collins]

What's the age group for this?

[Mike Racine]

I don't know. Because my. Because my son, he sees everything.

[Brandon Collins]

Well, to be fair, jealousy, the recent Minions movie. Now there's a straight up, like, without spoiler. There's a straight up decapitation.

[Mike Racine]

Oh, yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

That like, me and like, the adults in the audience. What, like. And they just move on from it. So who knows what kids can handle?

[Mike Racine]

Exactly.

[Zach Amico]

I feel like it's the. I might be a generation behind, but a little in that I feel like they're all still scared of the creepypasta stuff.

[Mike Racine]

Okay.

[Brandon Collins]

Creepy pasta.

[Zach Amico]

Creepypasta is like, people submit scary stories on the Internet.

[Brandon Collins]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

Like, they're true.

[Mike Racine]

They're true.

[Zach Amico]

So, like, I guess the Russian sleep experiment was one. Yeah, I know. There was a character called Siren where Slender man comes out of Siren head

[Brandon Collins]

and stuff like that.

[Zach Amico]

They're making a siren head movie.

[Mike Racine]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

I am oddly scared of siren head.

[Brandon Collins]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

When they do the videos of Siren head walking around, I don't know what it is, but it frightens me.

[Mike Racine]

Okay.

[Shannon (news/research contributor)]

All right.

[Zach Amico]

That'll catch me in the middle of the night.

[Mike Racine]

Do you know Shirley Jackson at all?

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Mike Racine]

She's like a horror writer from, you know, like a hunt, like a while ago.

[Zach Amico]

I feel like I've heard the name.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah. She wrote the Haunting of Hill House.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, okay.

[Mike Racine]

But I was reading some of her scary stories and I'm like, this is. This is good. Cuz it's like they're very, like, grounded in reality. Yeah, I think you would like her.

[Brandon Collins]

Are you a fan of.

[Mike Racine]

I'm going to bring you.

[Brandon Collins]

Are you a fan of Stephen King?

[Mike Racine]

I've never read any of his.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, okay. Okay. I was curious. Oh, that's Siren Hood.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, Siren. It's just a giant with sirens on his head. I don't know how else to describe him.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, that is creepy, though.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, well, there's something very.

[Mike Racine]

Oh, see, are you afraid of, like, monsters and ghosts and stuff? Because I guess that's kind of scary.

[Brandon Collins]

I will say, based on the audit, like, audience response for the psycho.

[Mike Racine]

You have A little penis.

[Zach Amico]

Little ass dick.

[Brandon Collins]

I think the cyclops. Based on the audience reaction, I think people are scared of monsters, though.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

Like, that was freaking people out. Because, like, if you.

[Mike Racine]

In the Odyssey.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah. Without spoiling, like, with the way it chases after them and stuff, people were, like, getting, like. Like, freaking out.

[Mike Racine]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

So things will catch me if I'm in the right mood. Like, while it was a horrendously thought out movie, it would have been a great Twilight Zone episode. Old M. Night Shyamalan. It was about 20 minutes too long.

[Mike Racine]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

But there is a chase through a cave with a lady who's all monstrous.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And it was pretty. I'm pretty sure had it been an hour long, it would have been really good, but it just ripped. It's the thing he does where he shits the bed.

[Brandon Collins]

Yes. Yeah. He can't always messes it up.

[Zach Amico]

He can't. He's like, hey, you know all this cool stuff he just watched?

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

It's not real.

[Brandon Collins]

He did that with Glass. I was like. After he did a split. And I was like, you did a secret Unbreakable sequel? All right, I'm with you, M. Night. And then he did Glass. And, like, the first two acts, I'm like, yo, he did it. Like, this is incredible. And then the third act was so bad. You're like, well, I never watching that again.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, it was so. Because what was the setup to that?

[Brandon Collins]

Well, because they were, like, setting it up. Like, there's going to be the big fight in the skyscraper, and then it was just a big fight in the parking lot of, like, that mental institution. And then it was also, like, there's a secret society that took everyone out.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

It's. Folks, it's not even a spoiler because the movie's trash, but I remember there's a big scene between Bruce Willis, James McAvoy and Samuel Jackson. I was like, oh, M. Night's cooking right now. And then it just took a turn and, like, never recovered.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

So bad.

[Zach Amico]

Diminishing returns.

[Brandon Collins]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

Every once in a while, nails it.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah. What was the one with the grandkids?

[Mike Racine]

Glass.

[Brandon Collins]

Glass is the sequel to Unbreakable and Split.

[Mike Racine]

Okay.

[Brandon Collins]

So, like, you know that first, like, the movie he did after Sixth Sense, where it's, like, secretly a superhero movie. Then, like, years later, he secretly did this movie with James McAvoy. He plays a serial killer with split personalities. And then it turns out it's in the same world as Unbreakable.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. At the very end, they remember. They show Bruce Willis walking And then

[Brandon Collins]

they brought all of them together, including Samuel Jackson for Glass. That's cool, because he's like manipulating, like Samuel Jackson manipulating everything. But then the ending, it just all falls apart because basically Glass is like, I'm the mind. I'm like the super villain who has the mind, but James McAvoy has the body. So we can together kill Bruce Willis.

[Mike Racine]

Okay.

[Brandon Collins]

But it just. It's so bad.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

M. Night just like, gets too full of himself. I think he just. Right.

[Mike Racine]

And who's gonna tell that guy? No, who, like, who's gonna tell that guy? Like, no, this is gay.

[Zach Amico]

Here's the thing. I. So I have. I have a Cuban uncle who likes to complain about everything. You know how, like, you know how, like, Hispanic men hate hype? I don't know how else to explain it. They don't. Like, like, if everyone is like, this is something about Latino bravado, especially Dominicans, where they, they want to be like, it's not that good. I saw it. Not worth the hype. You know what I mean?

[Mike Racine]

Maybe I'm Latina.

[Zach Amico]

And he, my uncle said to me once, he's like, who keeps letting Woody Allen make movies? Yeah, you know, like, they don't. They don't make any money. And I was like, well, it's because he makes his movies for nothing. Yeah, they win awards and they make some. So it's like, oh, I'm gonna make $5 for every dollar I invest in this, as opposed to, we're gonna make a 300. 300 million dollar movie. That makes $600 million.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah, well, M. I did it smart, though. He has been self financing for the most part.

[Zach Amico]

He pretty much. He. He self finances. So no one's going to tell him. No. Yeah, same with Tyler Perry.

[Brandon Collins]

That's why no one tells some of these guys no, even though they keep putting out kind of dog movies.

[Zach Amico]

Woody Allen is the laziest filmmaker in the world. He gets no coverage.

[Mike Racine]

But who sits Tyler Perry down like Tyler?

[Zach Amico]

You.

[Mike Racine]

You got no, you got to dial it back.

[Brandon Collins]

No, he's a billionaire. He's. There's no one telling him anything.

[Zach Amico]

If anything, they're telling him, hey,

[Mike Racine]

leave

[Zach Amico]

young men alone on the set. Like, hey, hey, you're flying too close to the sun.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

I feel like unless you're not. You're not like a Tyler Perry level. Like, it's, it's hard for you to have the autonomy you need. But like, people like M. Night, like, and Tyler, who, like self finance or like Nolan, we were just talking about, honestly, like People don't tell him no.

[Mike Racine]

Right.

[Brandon Collins]

You know what I mean? But, like, I think if you're a female director in Hollywood, you get told no all the time. But, yeah, it's. It's a weird. It's a weird business, man.

[Mike Racine]

Did you like Oppenheimer?

[Brandon Collins]

I liked it. I just. I haven't rewatched it since I first saw it.

[Mike Racine]

Like, it's.

[Brandon Collins]

I thought, like, I could appreciate if it's good. I was like Robert Downey James bragging, win an Oscar. But then I, like, I've never watched it again, actually. How about you?

[Mike Racine]

I just watched it on a plane and I thought it was fine. You know, I'm like, yeah, fine. Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

Well, speaking of hype, I saw during the Barbenheimer thing, so, like, we did. My wife and I and some close friends, we did back to back Barbie and then Oppenheimer stuff.

[Zach Amico]

I only did Barbie and good. Oh, boy. At a certain point I was like, yeah, we get it, lady.

[Mike Racine]

We get it, lady.

[Zach Amico]

We get. We. There's ham fisted and then there's like, all right, you don't have to beat me over the head. Which is what this is about. Right, right, right.

[Brandon Collins]

I do like Ryan Gosling in that movie. He's hilarious.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And that. Listen, I'm a sucker for John Cena showing up at anything.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, okay.

[Akamiko (show intro/outro voice)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

So random when he's a mermaid.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I'll just. I'll take it. It was parts, but it was just a little too, like, celebratory of itself.

[Mike Racine]

Sure. Yeah. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

All right, we got a bunch of dumb stuff to talk about. Here's a fun, easy one to start with. You guys remember Courtney Stodden? Super hot chick.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah. She's married to that crazy actor.

[Shannon (news/research contributor, possibly same as E)]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

And she married the guy. He was Percy and Green Mile, right? Green Mile.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah.

[Shannon (news/research contributor)]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And there was, like, a crazy age difference.

[Brandon Collins]

Yep.

[Zach Amico]

So now they're. They're split up, and she has accused him of grooming. And she has a book like I Was a Child Bride.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, boy.

[Zach Amico]

Well, she's come out with accusations against another actor. And unfortunately, the Seinfeld trifecta has been completed.

[Mike Racine]

I was wondering if you were gonna say that, because I. Yeah. Or saw something about this.

[Zach Amico]

Jerry Seinfeld, Michael Richard, Jason Alexander trifecta has been completed.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, wow.

[Zach Amico]

Where she is now claimed.

[Akamiko (show intro/outro voice)]

Creep.

[Zach Amico]

A creep. Call on George Costanza. Shannon.

[Shannon (news/research contributor, possibly same as E)]

I'll just show it to you first and I can tell you information after this. Is that. So this is from a sketch, And I think 2011, it was funny or die.

[Zach Amico]

Right.

[Shannon (news/research contributor, possibly same as E)]

Yeah.

[Shannon (news/research contributor)]

You did something very brave recently. You went on the Dr. Drew show and allowed him to do an ultrasound of your. Your bosom to prove that they are as God intended them to be. It was very brave, but I don't want to do that. I'm not that crass. I don't care about your breasts. I mean, they're lovely. They're lovely. Thank you. But I don't care about them. What I care about is the quality of your heart. So I have a special app here on my iPhone and if I may, I'm going to use this to just find out what's. What's in the quality of your. Of your heart. I can't tell. Which side should I be on? It's on the left side. Not this side. Not this side. This side over here. This is the side. Alrighty then. Let me see. I'm getting. That's great. I'm getting a lot. Are you getting anything? No. Oh, that's interesting. I'm not getting anything here. I got full bars right here.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, That's a sketch. Is she accusing him of reading the sketch?

[Shannon (news/research contributor, possibly same as E)]

So she's saying at the time she was six. It's either 16 or 17.

[Zach Amico]

Seventeen, I believe.

[Shannon (news/research contributor, possibly same as E)]

Yeah. But in. Earlier in this. In the sketch, she says 16 there. So 6. 16 or 17. And she's just like claiming that.

[Zach Amico]

Wait, hold on. That's 16. That's what I was.

[Brandon Collins]

That's a very mature 16 body.

[Shannon (news/research contributor, possibly same as E)]

And she had already been. She married a Green Mile guy when she was 16 and he was 51. And she said that, like, since he was the adult, that the check went to him, that this was like all his decision to do this. And she's kind. She's not. She's not like, trying to, like, get anybody in trouble, but she's trying to, like, stop this from happening going forward.

[Brandon Collins]

Got it. So he was basically like her guardian on set. So he was able to approve her getting built up.

[Shannon (news/research contributor, possibly same as E)]

Yes. Yeah. And her mother approved her marriage to him.

[Brandon Collins]

That's wild. I mean, that's like.

[Zach Amico]

It seems like the sketch was that. He's a creep, though.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah. But I also haven't seen, like, 16 year olds. Didn't look like that when I was growing up. They weren't that tight.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

There's a lot of baby fat still in Michigan.

[Zach Amico]

It's a hard conversation to have.

[Brandon Collins]

Yes.

[Mike Racine]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

As three adult men.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That sixth, like.

[Brandon Collins]

But that's also like Jason. I mean, I don't know why Jason Alexander was doing that, because that's back in what, late 90s? Early 2000s.

[Zach Amico]

That's early 2000s.

[Mike Racine]

It's like 2012.

[Brandon Collins]

He was impressive.

[Zach Amico]

2012.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, you're right.

[Akamiko (show intro/outro voice)]

Oh, wow.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah, he definitely was impressive for money then. So I guess he just wanted.

[Zach Amico]

Well, I don't think it was. I don't think anybody was making a ton of money off Funny or Die. I think it was like trendy because it was Will ferrell and Adam McKay's company.

[Brandon Collins]

True, true.

[Akamiko (show intro/outro voice)]

Yeah.

[Mike Racine]

Couldn't they have used like a 28 year old or something? Did he know she was like.

[Zach Amico]

Did he know she says 16 in the thing?

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Mike Racine]

Okay, that's.

[Brandon Collins]

We know better now.

[Zach Amico]

We do know.

[Brandon Collins]

We do know better.

[Zach Amico]

But we should know better. But that is a. I don't mean this a road worn, crafty veteran of 16. Like that's a. But that's got. That 16's got miles on it.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah, but why does she. Why does she have miles on it? Why does she have miles on it?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike Racine]

Her parents probably pimping her out.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

And that guy wasn't even like a very well known actor too. Like he just played a terrible memorable character in one movie. That's it.

[Zach Amico]

I believe he was also. I could be wrong. Isn't he squeeze from X Files? Oh, the guy that could go through prison bars May.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, that's a very obscure. Okay.

[Zach Amico]

I don't. He was a monster of the week, but they had like a couple episodes with him.

[Brandon Collins]

He like, he has a memorable face but like, oof, that's. That's wild.

[Zach Amico]

I think we're also biased because of what a scumbag he is in Green Mile.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah, yeah, he's a big piece of shit.

[Zach Amico]

If he was a really nice. If he was a really good character in that, I think the perception would not be as.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh yeah, that was Tom Hanks. We'd be like, oh, go Tom. Yeah, just. So give us another chat.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You know, maybe stop with the toy stories.

[Brandon Collins]

They're never going to stop with that.

[Zach Amico]

All right, well, you know, not to

[Mike Racine]

be like a, like a square.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, of course.

[Mike Racine]

But I feel like if a 17 year old girl walked in here and was started like talking to us, we'd be like, oh, this is like a

[Zach Amico]

person, you know, without a shadow of a doubt.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah. So it's like you can't really. I don't know. There's a reason those laws exist.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Mike Racine]

No.

[Zach Amico]

I would like to see what the script.

[Mike Racine]

Sorry to be a scold.

[Zach Amico]

I would like to see what the script Said and what everyone agreed to before and if they were like, improving.

[Akamiko (show intro/outro voice)]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And he was like, oh, I should rub my phone all over you.

[Brandon Collins]

Which probably happened.

[Akamiko (show intro/outro voice)]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

Because I feel like a sketch like. Like that.

[Zach Amico]

I'm Robin Williams, I'm gonna rub my phone on your breast. Oh, look at those breads. Oh, praise Jesus. All right, well, you know, let's. Let's call it lessons learned in life.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I don't think it'll affect Jason Alexander.

[Brandon Collins]

No.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

No, not at all.

[Zach Amico]

He's way past. Even if he did.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

He's so far down the list. I mean, dating one and then saying. We're screaming it on stage.

[Mike Racine]

He's still.

[Zach Amico]

He's got a lot of other.

[Mike Racine]

He's not gonna. It's been 20 years.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah. Oh, boy.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. He's not shaking that.

[Mike Racine]

They brought him back.

[Shannon (news/research contributor)]

What?

[Mike Racine]

Curb brought him back, though. And they kind of sort of like.

[Brandon Collins]

To address it.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah, to address it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. And they kind of made it, like, not okay. But when. When he shows up on his front door with the. With the hat for him and he goes, I apologized. I apologized. Was very funny. Did you see the clip of comedians and cars getting coffee with him where they're sitting? And Seinfeld sees like two five year old girls sitting across. It's like, oh, look, a little girl. Do they want to come over?

[Shannon (news/research contributor)]

He was.

[Zach Amico]

Jerry, don't invite him over. What are you doing? He goes, we've been through enough, man. All right.

[Mike Racine]

But I heard that that was his act, actually.

[Zach Amico]

I heard he did it the night before.

[Mike Racine]

Right. So, like, he was like. Because he was like trying to do stand up and his at. He would go into the crowd and he would ask people, like, what their race were, and he'd be like, what are you. Oh, you're. You know. Oh, you're.

[Brandon Collins]

That's.

[Mike Racine]

Oh, you're fucking Guinea.

[Brandon Collins]

Like, what room was that again? Was that the laugh after?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it was. The last actor I had heard, he had done it earlier in the night at another club.

[Brandon Collins]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

And somebody said he did it the night. I think he was trying to do Lenny Bruce.

[Mike Racine]

Oh, okay, okay.

[Zach Amico]

Where he was like, oh, I said it. What are you, like almost like a hipster? Like.

[Mike Racine]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

What are you gonna do? Look, it's just a word. The power of words. Like, almost trying to be, like, poetic about it.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then he kind of got lost in the sauce.

[Brandon Collins]

I mean, listen, I don't know if you guys have been to the Laugh Factory in la, but, like, that is a. That's a Rough room to piss people off in. It's, like, high ceilings, but it's very enclosed. Like, everyone's very tight in the audience. So, yeah, if you piss off like, that could be a bad situation for a comic. The crowd turns on them.

[Zach Amico]

I just did the punchline in Philly for the first time. Oh, how did you.

[Brandon Collins]

Did you have a good time?

[Zach Amico]

I had a very good time. I was unaware that it was geared towards being a black room.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

We have a great time. When I got through the metal detector at the door into the green room, and the snacks in the green room were oatmeal pies and fruit snacks.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, is that your writer, though?

[Zach Amico]

I'm like, what is my commissary? And I'm surrounded by pictures of, like, Ture and Earthquake and Kevin Hart.

[Brandon Collins]

There's a lot of Kevin Hart.

[Mike Racine]

I feel like it wasn't always like that, though, that. That room.

[Zach Amico]

Naim told me that it's been geared toward, like, Diet's kind of taking a.

[Mike Racine]

So they're, like, slowly.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Mike Racine]

Gradually transitioning to.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I would say it was a good half and half of the show I did okay, but. So half the people really enjoyed me. Yeah. And the other half were not into me.

[Brandon Collins]

They're like, I don't know what's going on.

[Zach Amico]

It was a lot of nice black people on dates, and they weren't.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

There for what I do.

[Brandon Collins]

I understand you packed that room out, though. It's a fun room.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, it was great. The show was great. I just did okay.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I'm blaming myself on that one.

[Mike Racine]

But when I look back on my career, I kind of wish I did. I found a way to do more black rooms because I did a. I did a show one time, and the audience was, like, mostly black people, and I had a great set. And then Kareem Green went up and did, like, 25 minutes and, like, murdered. And I was like, if this is what the comedy. If I could do this, like, once a week, I wouldn't be regretting all the choices I made in my life.

[Zach Amico]

They did when we got just a

[Brandon Collins]

one black room once a week, if

[Zach Amico]

some days at CB's. For a while.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

They had a producer, and it was like a black knight. And those were pretty fun.

[Mike Racine]

Fun. Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

Dave Lesser had a weekly show for a while, too, in Brooklyn, I believe they like once or twice. And then, I mean, comedy outliers. A lot of people in the industry tried to say it was a black show. Yeah. But it's a very diverse line but you did that a few times. You obviously gray and stuff like that, you know. Should I do a Mike Brown and everything?

[Mike Racine]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I'm trying to remember what it was. Oh, it was called Sunday Night Live.

[Mike Racine]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

Somebody very funny hosted. I can't remember his name, but that was. That was like a good night. That was like Dave's.

[Akamiko (show intro/outro voice)]

Was.

[Brandon Collins]

Was that Dave Lester's? I think that was the show.

[Zach Amico]

I think it might have been.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah. He did that for a long time too.

[Zach Amico]

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[Brandon Collins]

We're not gonna talk about bringer shows. No, we're not gonna talk about comics.

[Zach Amico]

Here's a fun 1. Rosie O' Donnell drops name. A name drops a list. Actor who told her to lose £20. Shannon.

[Shannon (news/research contributor, possibly same as E)]

So this was on the set of League of Their Own.

[Zach Amico]

All right, so we can guess. It's League of Their Own. Who's a list on League of Their Own?

[Mike Racine]

Tom Hanks.

[Zach Amico]

Tom Hanks.

[Brandon Collins]

Geena Davis.

[Zach Amico]

Geena Davis. Madonna.

[Mike Racine]

Oh, well, she.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, wait, A list in general or a list at her?

[Zach Amico]

Madonna's A list at that time. Madonna's hugely.

[Mike Racine]

They're like Rosie o' Donnell drops name of a list who pimped out his young son so much he turned Jamaican.

[Brandon Collins]

I'm gonna go with Gina Davis, though, because I heard that she's not the most pleasant person to work with.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, it could all trivia and stuff.

[Brandon Collins]

I've read

[Zach Amico]

Penny Marshall or her husband. It could be love. It's.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, it could have been Lovett's. Because I don't see Penny doing that. That would have, like tanked her by now. That.

[Mike Racine]

Right. I'm going to say it wasn't Tom Hanks.

[Zach Amico]

I'm going to say not Tom Hanks. So this is from personal movie making experience. I worked on a movie once and it was two lead actresses who were very young. They were like 18, 19. And the director's wife was the producer. And I believe she had a talk with them a few weeks before filming. These girls were both in phenomenal shape.

[Shannon (news/research contributor)]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And she said, hey. And the way she did it was very old school manipulation.

[Brandon Collins]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

I kind of respect it. I don't like the. I don't like what they did, but I. I think how they did it was the smartest way possible, which is like, hey, you look great. You got this part for a reason. You're very beautiful.

[Akamiko (show intro/outro voice)]

But

[Zach Amico]

the trope of the camera adding a few pounds is true. And I don't want you to see this movie when it comes out and think you look bad.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So I would advise you to maybe go a little extra harder with your diet in the gym for a few weeks. And she kind of put the fear of God in them. And they were both pretty thin to really trim down even more. And I think it was very smart to have a woman do that as opposed to, like some scumbaggy dude. And it really put. I saw the two of them, like really go into hyperdrive with their diet and their exercise while we were in pre production.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I would not be shocked if Penny Marshall said something interesting.

[Brandon Collins]

See, I was actually. When you were saying that story, I was actually leading more towards Madonna because they play sisters in the movie. Right. So I can see Madonna at that time being vain enough to be like, hey, we're supposed to be sisters. Like, you gotta look closer to me then. But I could be missing.

[Zach Amico]

Well, let's find out. Shannon.

[Shannon (news/research contributor, possibly same as E)]

So it was Penny Marshall.

[Mike Racine]

David.

[Shannon (news/research contributor, possibly same as E)]

So she told her, I want you to lose 20 pounds. And she said, do you think I carry it around for fun, Penny? But she says, other than that, that Penny Marshall was like, like a. Very much into like women's rights, supporting women's sports, yada, yada. But it would. Yeah, it was just this particular time.

[Zach Amico]

That's old school Hollywood. That's a hundred percent what that was.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah, Well, I mean, you know, that's. That's the. That's the game.

[Zach Amico]

Right.

[Mike Racine]

It's not like she. It's not like Rosie o' Donnell was a podcaster.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. I do think. Yeah. That's old school filmmaking. That's.

[Akamiko (show intro/outro voice)]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

We have to remember.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

That up until a certain point, studios owned actresses.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah. This also before the Internet. So she was able to get away with that without too many people. Gosh. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You use. If you were an actress, you lived on the lot and directors used to visit you for the weekend.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, boy. Yeah. Especially with Weinstein. Yeah. Those days were dark.

[Zach Amico]

Thank you, Tyler. Mike, I'm going to pause for a second. And we're back.

[Mike Racine]

Don't worry about it because you can. You can just see the comments, you know.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah. Tell your. Tell your. Tell your gr.

[Brandon Collins]

To.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, exactly. No, it's cool, dude. All right. One of our favorite games here on the show is Indians versus Just with the advent of everyone having phones and a lack of safety regulations in India, sometimes Indian people grab live wires or walk on train tracks. And we've got two. We did have one submitted from Alex.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, boy.

[Zach Amico]

And for the first time ever, this is Indian versus Flipping.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, no.

[Zach Amico]

I have a feeling I'm going to be very. I did not watch this.

[Mike Racine]

Indians versus.

[Zach Amico]

And this is going to be Indian versus doing a flip. And I am going to. I have a feeling I'm going to be very upset by this.

[Brandon Collins]

I. I might have to close my eyes for this.

[Zach Amico]

So let's try it.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, no.

[Shannon (news/research contributor)]

Okay.

[Mike Racine]

Oh, come on.

[Zach Amico]

That's.

[Brandon Collins]

That's a miscalculation.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, no.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, no.

[Mike Racine]

Could be worse.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, this is. This isn't. As long as nobody breaks a leg or a neck.

[Mike Racine]

No, no, no, no. Okay.

[Brandon Collins]

He's a little old.

[Mike Racine]

That's.

[Brandon Collins]

He's a little older, though. I mean, they're just busting their ass.

[Zach Amico]

This is kind of India versus Parkour. This is Patel versus Parkour. There you got one.

[Brandon Collins]

Then it gets hit by a car.

[Zach Amico]

Then immediately a train runs him over. And here's another one we've got. Listen, I don't know what the fuck's going on over there. I don't know.

[Mike Racine]

And yeah, we don't want to judge

[Zach Amico]

or anything what the daily life is over there, but this is. This is a security camera footage from a liquor store. And whatever you think is about to happen, you're wrong.

[Brandon Collins]

Got a lot of cracking in there.

[Zach Amico]

It must be a popular beverage.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, something about the crap.

[Akamiko (show intro/outro voice)]

Whoa.

[Mike Racine]

Jesus Christ. Oh, no.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, no. Holy.

[Mike Racine]

Looks like he ran away.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, there's more.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, no. It's gonna break all those glasses.

[Akamiko (show intro/outro voice)]

Yep.

[Shannon (news/research contributor, possibly same as E)]

And then there's a. Let me just try to find it. So. Right.

[Zach Amico]

The other one.

[Shannon (news/research contributor, possibly same as E)]

Okay. Yeah, right, Right before this happens. Like before he goes in. There he is. Attacks another man outside.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, please. Yes,

[Shannon (news/research contributor, possibly same as E)]

This is the door.

[Brandon Collins]

So that's where the scream came from before.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, I want to see that. I want to see that jump scare again of it jumping in. That was brutal.

[Shannon (news/research contributor, possibly same as E)]

Wait, the one I want to see?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I want to see you jumping

[Brandon Collins]

in into the place as someone has a.

[Zach Amico]

From the first shot.

[Brandon Collins]

That's terrifying.

[Zach Amico]

No, no, the, the, the. When it jumps into the liquor store.

[Shannon (news/research contributor)]

Oh.

[Shannon (news/research contributor, possibly same as E)]

Because it's gonna jump into liquor store there.

[Zach Amico]

O. But now he watch. Well, he pulled the metal shade down and trapped it in there. And they called the zoo. Okay, so Shannon, did you read anything? Is that a loose leopard or.

[Shannon (news/research contributor, possibly same as E)]

Yeah, and apparently the leopard had also attacked like four other people in like a neighboring area. And it said they did catch him. He's five year old leopard, they did catch him and says they tranquilized him. Didn't say they euthanized him.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah, they took.

[Shannon (news/research contributor, possibly same as E)]

Come out, but yeah, it didn't kill anybody. Just roughed him up a little bit.

[Zach Amico]

Dude, that leopard, yes, of course he's scared, but that's a. That's a big muscular animal.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

To be trapped in a tiny room full of glass ones. Yeah. You think working at a liquor store here is scary?

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah. That's a rough Tuesday night, man. Your business day. A leopard just comes and bites you.

[Mike Racine]

And liquor though. 90 seconds in that room with that leopard, would you. For, I don't know, half a million

[Brandon Collins]

dollars, do I have like things to protect myself or is it just me in a room? Just like open room?

[Mike Racine]

Just those bottles?

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah, I could do that for, for a minute. Yeah, I think I could manage that.

[Shannon (news/research contributor)]

No.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Is it necessarily that it's that leopard coming in hot? Yeah, because I feel I am. He lasted like 15 seconds. My level of autism with cats.

[Shannon (news/research contributor)]

No.

[Zach Amico]

I watch people like, boop, lions and shit. And I go. I want to do that so bad. Like touch their nose.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, no.

[Zach Amico]

So.

[Brandon Collins]

Okay, got it.

[Zach Amico]

Like, like I want to. I. When I see big cats, I want to treat them like Little cats. So if it was coming in hot like that, I'd be terrified. But if he was just chilling in there, I feel like I could maybe. And this is my stupidity, like, give him scratches. Come on, buddy. Right? What's up?

[Mike Racine]

Right?

[Zach Amico]

Like, I feel like I. Most cats, like, like animals kind of like me, but that one coming in hot.

[Brandon Collins]

I feel like there's a way you could, like, slam the shelf on top of it, like, and buy yourself, like, at least 20 seconds.

[Mike Racine]

20 seconds?

[Brandon Collins]

Because you're saying 30. You're saying one minute.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

So 60 seconds. Like I said in the video, he already lasted about 15, 20 seconds to get out.

[Zach Amico]

I think if I could make. If I could take one of those shells and use it as a barricade.

[Shannon (news/research contributor)]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And hide behind it for the right amount. For that amount of money, I might risk it.

[Brandon Collins]

But then who takes it out after the minute? You know what I mean?

[Zach Amico]

Then you trained, shot down.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Blood art. Is that, like, a thing?

[Mike Racine]

They're strong, right? It's a leopard or a jaguar.

[Zach Amico]

It's a leopard.

[Mike Racine]

Okay. Jaguars are bigger than leopards, right?

[Zach Amico]

I believe so.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But that's a pretty strong animal. Like, that's all.

[Mike Racine]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

I have been fucked up by my cats.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a Bengal cat. So I. Yeah, it's just a huge. Like, a hundred times bigger than my Bengal cat, that thing. So, yeah, that would hurt. That would definitely hurt. Like, even just one scratch.

[Zach Amico]

I couldn't believe how bad. Mike. When I had both cats, I accidentally stepped on one's tail. And they did not like each other at the time. And he let out a noise I've never heard before. I think it was a hootie hoo. Because he went like a. Not a sound they make for people.

[Mike Racine]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

Because cats don't meow for each other.

[Mike Racine]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

That's for us.

[Mike Racine]

For us. Okay.

[Zach Amico]

Cats, they learned how to do that to mimic babies.

[Mike Racine]

Oh, okay. Oh, wow.

[Zach Amico]

So, like, that. The sounds cats make are for us when they talk to each other. It's like that. Like, you ever hear a cat when it sees a bird and it goes like.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Like, they have all different noises that aren't for us. And it made a noise that I never was like a. And the other cat came charging and beat the shit. I mean, fucked me. Think. Imagine Chris Farley spinning in a circle with two stuffed animals glued to him in a sketch. That's what it was. It was me spinning the circle. They were both hanging on to me like Garfield. And I came in. I had to Hide in my room and then open the door, block it with a box, and run out the front door. Because they wouldn't leave the front door. I came right here in a cab. Harrington was here. I was like, yo, my cats just fucked me up. Come to the bathroom with me. And I took my pants off, dude. I was covered in blood from my stomach to my knees.

[Mike Racine]

Oh, wow.

[Zach Amico]

Because of how bad, like, I was wrecked.

[Mike Racine]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

So I can only imagine how quick that thing could kill me.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike Racine]

But not every animal will kill you, like, right away.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but he looked like he was pissed. Yeah, yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

Like, you have to make sure it doesn't bite either into your leg or your neck.

[Zach Amico]

Right.

[Brandon Collins]

Like, because you can't allow it to pierce artery or.

[Zach Amico]

Or wrist. Right wrist, anything. Yeah. And you don't want it to get your. Yeah, your. Your thigh.

[Brandon Collins]

Yep.

[Zach Amico]

Because you bleed out real quick on that.

[Mike Racine]

Okay.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah. I don't know if leopards do. Are they known for, like, playing with their food or like, like playing with the wounded? Like, they wound you and then like, they'll around with you?

[Zach Amico]

I have no idea.

[Brandon Collins]

Because there's some predators that are like that.

[Zach Amico]

They're like, did I think about the ball pit and jackass too? Where they just put electrical tape over their wrists? Which is just a bad plan and it doesn't work at all. They bite right through it over. But yeah, I'm afraid of that. Cuz ever since Hannibal, I'm afraid of the. What is the femoral artery is the one.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, yep, yep.

[Zach Amico]

And when he slashes the guy's femoral artery and Hannibal, that always freaked me out.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah, I mean, that was the least of that guy's words at the time.

[Akamiko (show intro/outro voice)]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

All right, let's keep. Oh, he'll do one more animal video. South African man squares up with an ostrich. We have been discussing kangaroo fights recently. So let's see how an ostrich does. All right.

[Akamiko (show intro/outro voice)]

All right.

[Mike Racine]

I say off.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, let's watch it. Getting head control was the move.

[Mike Racine]

I thought that was a wheelchair for a second.

[Zach Amico]

No, it knocked him off his bike. That thing's big.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but I guess he's got that stupid little head. All right. I think that's. That's the strategy, by the way. That's that. That guy's first rendezvous.

[Brandon Collins]

No, no, not at all. He knew exactly what to do. Go straight for the bottom of the neck. Yeah, just slap that like a baby.

[Zach Amico]

Are they easy? Are things with long necks like that easy to just like.

[Mike Racine]

That would be my gut that would be my guess. But I don't want to be like arrogant. Obviously.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Mike Racine]

You don't want to get the kicked out of you by an ostrich in front of your family.

[Zach Amico]

I feel like they've got sharp feet.

[Brandon Collins]

Huh.

[Zach Amico]

I think that's what you're going to be afraid of with that. Not. I mean, not the people get you.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But I feel like they're gonna you up with the talons.

[Mike Racine]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

So maybe if you get head control like that.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

It keeps them from kicking that.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah. That was smart. He did get it. He got it where he wanted it.

[Zach Amico]

What wild animals do you think you could definitely take?

[Mike Racine]

That's a good question.

[Brandon Collins]

Not monkeys. Like chimpanzees are terrifying.

[Mike Racine]

No chimpanzees. I wouldn't. Not with it.

[Zach Amico]

Absolutely not.

[Brandon Collins]

Absolutely wild animal like a boar would me up too maybe. Maybe like a little deer can impale me. Not many fox maybe. I could probably take down a fox.

[Mike Racine]

A fox?

[Shannon (news/research contributor)]

Yeah.

[Mike Racine]

Well, yeah, yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

You know, it's like a big cat dog.

[Mike Racine]

I heard a gorilla. If you don't make eye contact with it, you just kind of.

[Brandon Collins]

You could take on a gorilla.

[Zach Amico]

No, that's what you mean. But, but I could.

[Mike Racine]

But I could survive for a little bit, you know, for a little bit I would just. I would twist my shirt up like I'm a lady. Like I'm a prison bitch. I'd hike up my shorts and just.

[Shannon (news/research contributor)]

Yeah.

[Mike Racine]

Walk around like I'm the lady gorilla.

[Zach Amico]

You know, that's an old timey street joke about a black guy works at a zoo and he can't get a date, so he shaves a gorilla, puts lipstick and a dress on her and then they say her and they're like. Every time a black guy. Every. Every time a black guy's here, he's got a hot Italian girl with him.

[Brandon Collins]

What, what about snake? Not a rattle. Not a rattlesnake, but maybe like a. Like a python.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I think.

[Mike Racine]

Well, I think there's snakes. Either they're. They either strangle you or they have poison them. Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

So those strong ones are so strong, dude. The ones that.

[Brandon Collins]

But if you decapitate it real quick, right?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, but that's assuming you've got a something good.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah, I don't think I around with a snake.

[Zach Amico]

I think I was very. Because they were like, they'll like. There's a story I've told before. My friend Babette told me this and then we looked it up. There was a birthday party, I think in Canada and it Was two guys, two, seven years. It was like they went to a petting zoo and they lived in an apartment above a pet store that had a big, like a python or a boa constrictor. And they didn't wash the kids up after the petting zoo. And they were playing with sheep and stuff. Oh. And the snake went batshit because he was like, there's fucking sheep upstairs. Oh. And he crawled out of its cage through the vents and killed two kids before the parents got in. Like eight.

[Brandon Collins]

Two kids.

[Zach Amico]

Like a seven year old, like, swallowed it. Yeah. Or I think strangled one and was in the process of eating the other.

[Brandon Collins]

That is. Holy shit. That's intense. That's a rough way to like, lose anybody, but to just, like, come and pick up your kid and they're like,

[Zach Amico]

hey, I think it was the kids whose birthday it was. I think it was the kids who live there.

[Brandon Collins]

That's a.

[Mike Racine]

Okay, but that's dark.

[Brandon Collins]

That's a dark story there. That'd be a up anaconda.

[Mike Racine]

Did it get out of its cage?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

You know, my friend Babette told me she's writing a book on, like, tragedies, and that was one of the stories she had been researching. It was like. I. I can't remember. It was like. It was themed and it was like, all different. Like, it was like murders at birthday parties. Murders at, like, otherwise happy events.

[Mike Racine]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

That turned tragic. Okay, Shannon, I got that story. Right, Right.

[Shannon (news/research contributor, possibly same as E)]

Yeah. Mostly it's. The kids were four and seven. The. It was a python and it came, like, crashing through their ceiling. Didn't actually, like, consume them because the mother, when she, like, went to the kids in the morning, she went in there and thought they were sleeping and then discovered that they were both killed by the python.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, God. So he just basically, like, suffocated them.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

I mean, that's still.

[Mike Racine]

That's not as bad as, like, a full. A birthday party happening and. Yeah, that's not as bad.

[Zach Amico]

All right.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah. I mean, that still sucks. Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

That's a rough death, though, because, like, to be constricted and like this.

[Shannon (news/research contributor)]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

Because when they do that, it breaks all your bones.

[Mike Racine]

It came through the ceiling.

[Zach Amico]

It crawled through out of its enclosure.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I went. Believe. Went through the vents and then crashed. Wow. Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

Jesus.

[Mike Racine]

That's how bad they wanted a sheep.

[Zach Amico]

So this is a. This is. This is an example of how Italian is act. My uncle fought a goose.

[Mike Racine]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

And the goose really won.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

The goose came out. A real 10, 7 round for the goose.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, man.

[Zach Amico]

And it was my Uncle Angelo.

[Mike Racine]

Did the goose say he was gonna vote for Mom? Don?

[Zach Amico]

My Uncle Angelo, who is an electrician and has stars tattooed on his knuckles so that when he punches you, you see stars before and after.

[Brandon Collins]

That's why he got beat up by a goose.

[Zach Amico]

And he jumped out of a car and tackled a goose.

[Shannon (news/research contributor)]

Just.

[Zach Amico]

He went, I bet I could fight that goose. And he could not. The goose lumped him up pretty good.

[Brandon Collins]

Fuck around beef with the goose.

[Zach Amico]

He's mentally ill. What was his poultry with the goose? He's being a silly goose is what was happening.

[Mike Racine]

Okay.

[Akamiko (show intro/outro voice)]

He.

[Brandon Collins]

How the goose fuck him up, though? Like, was it just like a. I

[Zach Amico]

think it packed the shit out of him.

[Brandon Collins]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

And I think he said. He said he was surprised how strong the wings were.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, okay. That's very.

[Zach Amico]

He said it's got, like, power there. This is my saying. My.

[Mike Racine]

I mean, that's why you really can't be like, oh, I could take this animal.

[Brandon Collins]

That.

[Mike Racine]

I could take this animal. Like, you don't know.

[Zach Amico]

That's what I'm saying. Like, you don't know what's strong.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

This is my saying. He broke his hand. The one with the stars on it. Yeah. Because he saw somebody he knew while he was driving, and he was eating jelly beans, and he went to throw a handful of jelly beans at them, but he forgot the window was closed. Oh, no. He just broke his hand, tried to throw jelly beans out the window.

[Brandon Collins]

Jesus.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

That guy's insane.

[Akamiko (show intro/outro voice)]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

So he wanted to throw him so hard, he broke his hand against him. Okay.

[Zach Amico]

Yes. And I've also told the story of he was driving in his work truck through, I believe, North Bergen, and it was like six Mexicans chasing a very obvious cockfighting rooster down the street. And he just pulled up and opened his passenger side door, and the rooster jumped in and he closed the door and drove away with all the Mexican screaming and chasing him.

[Brandon Collins]

It sounds like he likes to live.

[Zach Amico]

Lived in his backyard for, like, a month.

[Mike Racine]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then eventually just left one day.

[Brandon Collins]

The Bruce was just gone. He's like, oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

But that's a very.

[Mike Racine]

Have razor blades attached to his legs.

[Zach Amico]

They did not, but it was like it had scars and shit.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, man.

[Zach Amico]

So that. But that. That's just kind of how Uncle Angelo rolled.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

Rolled. Is he not with us anymore?

[Zach Amico]

No, he is.

[Brandon Collins]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

He is. He's a little calmer now. That's my same uncle that owns the Batmobile.

[Mike Racine]

Nice.

[Zach Amico]

I've told that a million times. He bought a Replica of the Adam West TV show Batmobile.

[Brandon Collins]

And

[Zach Amico]

he takes it to car conventions.

[Brandon Collins]

Okay, that makes sense.

[Zach Amico]

On a flatbed truck because you can't drive it. He was driving it.

[Brandon Collins]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

But it's got all the shit from the show.

[Brandon Collins]

From the show that's actually not functional and shit. So.

[Zach Amico]

So it's got a million lights and things that don't make sense. And the battery just dies. Like, you can't take it on the highway. And he was taking it to car shows, driving it there, and it would die every time.

[Brandon Collins]

I understand.

[Zach Amico]

So now he has to. He learned to just take it on a flatbed.

[Mike Racine]

But imagine you see a Batmobile pull up and your uncle comes out of it.

[Zach Amico]

It happened. He pulled up in front of my house to show us. He got it.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I didn't. I was 15 and I didn't fit in it.

[Brandon Collins]

That's. Oh, that's hilarious. Just the idea of a real life, like, being around, like, someone driving around a Batmobile or something like, that's just insane. Like, my friend, the background work on the Dark Knight Rises. And he's like, yeah, I saw the Tumblr in person. I'm like, that's fucking crazy. Like, imagine someone just drives that around fighting crime. You're like, I gotta get the fuck outta the city.

[Zach Amico]

Like, this is the story that I've told many a time, and I apologize people that have heard it a bunch, when he was first driving it around, because it had much more. And it had the smoke out the back. Okay, the oil slick. Like, it was functional. And he's driving it, and he's driving back from Philly and it died. And he pulls off the highway into Camden.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And he pulls aside and he said, just the. The residents of Camden all start just kind of popping out from behind stuff. He's an old, old black guy

[Akamiko (show intro/outro voice)]

wearing

[Zach Amico]

sweats and, like, a dirty wife beater comes up. He goes, n word, you better call Alfred.

[Brandon Collins]

You better call Alfred.

[Zach Amico]

He's like, oh, no.

[Brandon Collins]

I fought a goose.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I could fight you guys. Uncle Angelo. All right, next thing. You just asked, before we went on air, have I had Taco Bell since the diarrhea controversy? Taco Bell customer reveals excruciating symptoms of explosive diarrhea infection.

[Mike Racine]

You know, I do feel like we have to support our friends through this tough time. I do. I think we have Taco. Taco Bell's been there for us.

[Zach Amico]

You know, it does seem like a bit of a hot potato blame game.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Because they were like, it's Taco Bell. And Taco Bell's like, no, it's the lettuce.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

You feel like Jack in the Box has a play in this, you know, for revenge. The E. Coli back in the 90s. Like, we've been waiting for this moment, you motherfuckers.

[Zach Amico]

I think it's very obviously a distributor, but it does seem like it is, because I know for a hot minute, Taco Bell's like, oh, we just. We don't do lettuce anymore.

[Shannon (news/research contributor)]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Which is probably counterintuitive because that's the only thing that made it feel like it was food.

[Brandon Collins]

She sometimes feels authentic.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, tell us about it.

[Shannon (news/research contributor, possibly same as E)]

So this guy, 46 years old, was rushed to the emergency room after suffering relentless diarrhea for more than a week. He said it was every hour and a half going to the bathroom. I don't think I slept more than an hour and a half continuously the last week. And then he saw blood in his poop. So he went to the er, they ran blood tests, and they found out that he has this cyclospor. Hold on, let me try one more time. Cyclosporiasis. I think that's it. Which is this thing associated with, you know, what's going around, and it's linked to tainted iceberg lettuce. And then he realized that he had that in his chalupa supreme in his Lux box from Taco Bell. So they had to put him on IV antibiotics for the course of a week. And he says he's at about 80% recovered now.

[Brandon Collins]

Wonder what the 20% is. Just a bruised booty hole.

[Zach Amico]

That, to me, is the worst when you have the really bad diarrhea.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah, it is sore.

[Mike Racine]

The.

[Zach Amico]

The chafed wiping area.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had that a few weeks ago, and. Yeah. And I regret because I. Because I bought adult diapers one time because I had a sketch I wanted to use them for, and then my wife, like, threw them out, and I really could have used some. If anybody has the parasite, I would say don't be ashamed of buying those for ditters. Yeah. Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

How long did it last you?

[Mike Racine]

At least, like, five days.

[Brandon Collins]

Whoa. Really?

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

Did you feel like you lost a lot of weight?

[Mike Racine]

Yeah, I did. Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

Okay.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah. Gained it all back right away. Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

When he cleaned out like that, but

[Mike Racine]

celebrated with some Taco Bell after I was diarrhea free.

[Zach Amico]

I did have the idea a few weeks ago of everybody taking whatever the thing is you take before you get a colonoscopy.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah, yeah. The direct Molex or something.

[Zach Amico]

Like that.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I had an idea of people doing a Zoom podcast where everyone starts the podcast by taking it like a half an hour before and everyone's on zoom from the toilet. And, like, there's like, you know, whoever can hold it the longest.

[Mike Racine]

That's good. That could be a great, like, fundraiser or something.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, yeah, like a telethon.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

Did y' all see the newest Jackass movie?

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Brandon Collins]

So Twister. They do. Well.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

So they do, like, the most epic poop centric prank they've ever done where, like, they all take, like, laxatives and then they get in these suits and they start playing a twister. And then, like, basically they start themselves, like, into the suits. It's the most gross. It's the grossest thing they've ever done. And, like, it's explosive. It's, it's, it gets through the suits and everything too. Like, all the crews, like, gagging and stuff. It's like a nightmare.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that does set. I've heard that really clears you out.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I am. If nothing.

[Mike Racine]

No, it's nice. I'm like. I was like, just in time for summer, you know?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Mike Racine]

Beach body.

[Brandon Collins]

Was it painful, though?

[Mike Racine]

No, it's uncomfortable.

[Brandon Collins]

Race.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

Okay.

[Mike Racine]

God, it felt like every, like, half an hour.

[Zach Amico]

I was.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

The worst is when you have one and it changes the PH of the room.

[Mike Racine]

Oh, yeah. Still better than throwing up, though.

[Zach Amico]

Yes. But when you have, like, a bad diarrhea and the whole room gets hotter or like the whole, like, the air gets thicker.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

You get sweaty and stuff and, like, you're just slumped over. You need some water and shit. Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

There's a difference between diarrhea and then, like, I'm pissing water out of my ass.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Mike Racine]

Right, right, right. No, that's what it was.

[Zach Amico]

Those are the ones. And I agree with you. Don't be ashamed if you have an adult diaper in that situation. No, because I kept going, do shit your pants. Eventually you have to rethink a lot about life.

[Brandon Collins]

Of course.

[Mike Racine]

No, I would, like, let myself fart, and every time that would happen, I would just spray a little bit.

[Zach Amico]

Yes. I, I, one time when I was sick, not only did I my pants on the couch, I was wearing Superman pajama pants. And nothing makes you feel like an adult retard quicker than going, I shit my Superman pants. And then God forbid, you're sitting on the bed.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, man.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And then you come back and you just see that it perforated. And now you go well, do I scrub this down before my wife sees it or do I have to change these sheets? Because chances are I'm gonna do this again.

[Mike Racine]

Right?

[Brandon Collins]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

So do I want to wash these, wash three pairs of sheets.

[Mike Racine]

Right.

[Zach Amico]

Or do I want to keep a terrible secret?

[Mike Racine]

Yeah, no diapers. I'm probably gonna start wearing diapers in the next like two years. Just full time.

[Zach Amico]

Just have them.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

I mean, yeah, the older you get, the. That's what they don't talk to you about, especially as men, like, is how loose things get. Like, I randomly had a dream like a week ago where I was like having fun. I was like, like in a tropical island or something like that. I was under a waterfall and I just started like feeling warm. Oh, this is great. And that really. I pissed myself. I hadn't even been drinking or anything. Like, I just like in the bed, I just got too relaxed. I got too relaxed and I'm like, this is what post 40 looks like, I guess. In your sleep. Yeah, dude.

[Shannon (news/research contributor)]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

It was very embarrassing because I'm. I've sleep next to my wife and so I like, I've run out the bed. She's like, what happened? I'm like, I gotta wash the sheets.

[Mike Racine]

Right, Right.

[Brandon Collins]

Piss myself a little bit.

[Mike Racine]

I mean, especially living in a big city, you know, there's always. You gotta go to the bathroom and you gotta find a place and pay for something.

[Brandon Collins]

That's why working for We Work was awesome at the time. Like for We Work. And like when you worked at we work, you got a card that got you to any We Work in the world.

[Shannon (news/research contributor, possibly same as E)]

Right.

[Brandon Collins]

So like if there's a building that just randomly had a wework and like, I need the piss.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

You just go in there real quick.

[Mike Racine]

I do have like my bathrooms around the city, but sometimes you just never know.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah. Because sometimes it could be closed and then. Yeah, then what are you going to do? That's a real pickle.

[Zach Amico]

Said before. Said it again. Burlington Coat Factory.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh yeah.

[Zach Amico]

If you see a Burlington, go to the top floor and they always have a very nice bathroom.

[Mike Racine]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

Burlington's are. I don't know what it is.

[Mike Racine]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

It's for when I sold tickets. It was like an unwritten rule.

[Brandon Collins]

Okay.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

We knew if there was a Burlington nearby you were hot to try or hotels.

[Mike Racine]

Okay. Right.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh yeah. Because you just walk in the lobby, like, just act like you belong there.

[Zach Amico]

And then.

[Brandon Collins]

Yep.

[Zach Amico]

Hotels are a good one.

[Brandon Collins]

That's. That's actually a good one.

[Shannon (news/research contributor)]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I. I'm trying to think. I had Another shit my pants thing and I can't think of it. Oh, well, here's a fun one. Terrifying video shows tourists thrown from roller coaster in freak accident.

[Brandon Collins]

Oh, Jesus. Every summer, this is my nightmare.

[Zach Amico]

This is like the third one this year.

[Mike Racine]

Really?

[Zach Amico]

Yeah. Cuz somebody flew out of a log flume at Disney.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah, I saw that one.

[Zach Amico]

And there was another one we watched. And I remember last year was that big black kid.

[Brandon Collins]

Are they just not like locking in, though? Like, what's going on?

[Zach Amico]

I have no idea.

[Mike Racine]

Things like malfunctioning, you guys need to lock in.

[Zach Amico]

Shannon, it's all Gen Z.

[Mike Racine]

It's all Gen Z employees. They're not locking it.

[Brandon Collins]

They don't give a.

[Shannon (news/research contributor, possibly same as E)]

In this one, the woman. Actually, it says that she wasn't wearing her seat belt. Just give me one second. For the video though, I had to refresh and it's playing an ad. Sorry.

[Zach Amico]

No problem, Shannon. That's no problem at all. But it happens to the best.

[Shannon (news/research contributor, possibly same as E)]

And also it takes place in Ecuador.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, good.

[Shannon (news/research contributor, possibly same as E)]

Okay. One second. Here we go.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, boy.

[Mike Racine]

Is she okay?

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Brandon Collins]

Thanks. So. I don't think so.

[Zach Amico]

That answered your question quick.

[Mike Racine]

13ft's not that high though.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah, but at that velocity, though.

[Shannon (news/research contributor)]

Whoa.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah, she hit. Fell on concrete.

[Shannon (news/research contributor, possibly same as E)]

So they said they. They're also not sure if she pat. Like passed out. And maybe that's why she just kind of flung herself out so easily. But they could also just be making excuses for themselves. And it says that her current status isn't not known as of today.

[Brandon Collins]

Okay, well, current status.

[Shannon (news/research contributor, possibly same as E)]

Yeah, her. Her condition is not known.

[Zach Amico]

I gotta tell you, her and Mitch McConnell, if you're in South America, don't ride rides that somebody built that day. I don't trust the ones that people build here. I like ones that are permanently locked in.

[Mike Racine]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And those up sometimes. Oh, yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

Coney island, the Cyclone. That's.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

With the most painful roller coasters ever.

[Zach Amico]

But I feel like that's. That's half the fun of the Cyclone is that it's a bag of.

[Mike Racine]

Right. No, they really put those things together with like Allen wrenches the day of.

[Akamiko (show intro/outro voice)]

Yeah.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

It's like the way you put together your kids stuff on Christmas morning.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And they're up.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah. They're all alcoholics too, so they're crazy

[Zach Amico]

drunks and they're on method stuff. Try to bang 12 year olds. Why else would you work at a carnival?

[Brandon Collins]

It's good, Jimmy.

[Zach Amico]

All right.

[Brandon Collins]

I'm gonna go have some pickled eggs. Oh, man.

[Zach Amico]

All right. And we'll end on this. We just got a good old fashioned fight on a train.

[Shannon (news/research contributor, possibly same as E)]

Second.

[Zach Amico]

No problem.

[Shannon (news/research contributor, possibly same as E)]

There you go.

[Brandon Collins]

What city is this?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, do we have a city?

[Mike Racine]

I'd like to see Jason Alexander do a sketch with those kids.

[Zach Amico]

All right, this is Philadelphia.

[Shannon (news/research contributor)]

Okay.

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah, she was winding up. She was ready. Oh, this is Amelie. I love the kid in the Chucky shirt. Damn. Whoever's in the white has no friends, right? Yeah, I know.

[Mike Racine]

It's like seven on.

[Brandon Collins]

No one's fighting for her. Oh, my God.

[Mike Racine]

When did. When did Anthony Kumia Retweet this?

[Zach Amico]

I 100 definitely got this from him. There's no way I did not get this off to be a Twitter.

[Brandon Collins]

By the way.

[Zach Amico]

He really is an archivist.

[Brandon Collins]

Like a. He's a curator.

[Zach Amico]

I believe he's. There is no curator. The archives.

[Shannon (news/research contributor, possibly same as E)]

I can show you. This did come from Anthony.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, my God, Of course it did. All right, well, that is our show. Thank you so much to Brandon Collins. Thank you much to Microscene.

[Mike Racine]

Thank you.

[Zach Amico]

Before we go, Brandon, what's your next Drunk Black History date?

[Brandon Collins]

Yeah, Drunk Black History at September 20th at the Philly Punchline. Very cool.

[Mike Racine]

Check that out.

[Brandon Collins]

And then later that week, we're gonna have High Black History as part of Black Cannabis Week. And then we have a bunch of shows in New Orleans and LA and stuff. But millennials are us. If you're in New York City, Wednesday, August 5th, come check me out at Caveat. Doing stories about being a millennial and being part of the most tortured generation of our time.

[Zach Amico]

Very, very cool. Thank you, boys. And we will be back for our bonus episode on Friday. Thank you, guys. Bye.

[Akamiko (show intro/outro voice)]

The fun's begun. No sleeping. Noon is morning time to him. Papa Baco, chug it down Just like the favorite Obi Smile, Grab a coffee and join the crew. It's Akamiko morning too. It's a Miko morning too.