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- [00:02]
Announcer
Fill her up.
- [00:03]
Zach Amico
You're listening to the GAS Digital Network.
- [00:10]
Intro/Outro Announcer
Wake up, it's time to go Zach Amico's got a show. Animals are here to play jokes against you Start your day Tell the sandman no more sleep Eat some eggs and cook some beef Laughter's waiting don't be shy Stretch your legs and touch the sky Grab a coff and join the crew It's a morning zoo.
- [00:50]
Zach Amico
Hello, hello, hello. It is a wild and wacky Wednesday here in New York City. We're coming to you live from the Gas Digital Studios. And it's me, your other boy, the international superstar. And thank you for tuning in to Zach Amico's Morning Zoo. I am one lucky guy because I've got two beautiful and funny women across the table from me from the Bad fanfic podcast. Join us for a minute. Is this your first time on the show?
- [01:20]
Amanda Lynn Baez
This is my first time here, yeah.
- [01:22]
Zach Amico
Well, thank you very much is our new friend, Amanda Lynn Baez. How are you?
- [01:25]
Amanda Lynn Baez
I am. You want me to be honest?
- [01:27]
Zach Amico
Yeah, go nuts, dude.
- [01:28]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Oh, my God. I'm. The first three weeks of this month were fucking horrific. I lost my great grandma. I lost a really good friend of mine in week span and. But I'm happy now I'm here.
- [01:39]
Zach Amico
Well, I'm very glad you're out of the house and doing stuff.
- [01:41]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Yeah. Thank you.
- [01:42]
Zach Amico
That is a sign of your strength. So thank you so much for joining us and been on the show a bunch. Incredibly funny writer, very, very entertaining and a very sweet person. Rebecca Kaplan. How are you?
- [01:53]
Rebecca Kaplan
My great grandma didn't die pretty good, by the way.
- [01:57]
Zach Amico
Great grandma's pushing it. Listen, I understand your Spanish and you have 85 last names. Probably most people's great grandmas don't kick around for that. Actually, you know what, you're Spanish. You might have been 50.
- [02:12]
Amanda Lynn Baez
She was like, I don't know, eating some grassroots all the time. So she lived to like, 94.
- [02:16]
Zach Amico
Nice.
- [02:17]
Amanda Lynn Baez
So it's like, I shouldn't be that sad because I'm like, oh, you're just old as shit. But I. I miss her. She was. She was funny.
- [02:24]
Zach Amico
My grandma's 90 and yeah, she's my favorite person. She's my most entertaining person and she does not care for me or what I do.
- [02:32]
Amanda Lynn Baez
That's amazing. Most of them don't. After a certain age, they like kind
- [02:35]
Zach Amico
of forget, oh, yeah, she's done with me. But I'm very entertained. This is a real conversation I had with my grandma on the phone as she was hanging up. All right. I love you. And she went, I like you too.
- [02:44]
Amanda Lynn Baez
I love. They're so fucking real. No, my great grandma would be like, you've gotten really fat. And I'm like, I love how honest you are, you know?
- [02:55]
Zach Amico
Yeah, my grandma's never seen any of my standup. She's never seen a clip. She has no idea what I do. She watched one movie I was in once and told me, don't ever show me that any of those ever again.
- [03:08]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Well, no, she's alive now.
- [03:10]
Zach Amico
Yeah, she's still kicking.
- [03:11]
Amanda Lynn Baez
White people live on, man.
- [03:13]
Zach Amico
Still. Still kicking. Let's get plugs right out of the way because we got a bunch of funny stories to do. Amanda, what do you want people to check out?
- [03:21]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Check out Chud City Comedy. I run an amazing alt comedy show in Brooklyn. Well, in New York City in general. Yeah. And Amanda Lynn Baez, you could just google me. You might see my everything. I have my arrest even.
- [03:35]
Zach Amico
So fantastic, Ms. Kaplan, you can check
- [03:39]
Rebecca Kaplan
out my tour dates on my website@rebecca kaplan.com and check out my stand up and stuff. And I have a Wednesday weekly show at Flophouse Comedy Club in Williamsburg.
- [03:50]
Zach Amico
Very cool. Check that out. Find me on Instagram. Zachisnotfunny. Punchup Live. Zackamico for my dates. Taking a little break ski. But I got my special coming out next month. And that same week I will be at the gathering of the Juggalos, hosting the main stage Thursday and doing commentary for Juggalo championship wrestling. Two of those nights. Plus I should be farting around and hosting some of the contests and emceeing some of the stuff. So come hang out. Give me a big old whoop whoop. And don't pick up any to poop dollars. I don't know if you guys know what that means.
- [04:23]
Amanda Lynn Baez
No, I'm jealous.
- [04:24]
Zach Amico
But I will fill you in. And hey, if you like the show, go to punch Up. I was gonna punch up. I'm a. I'm having a tough morning. Go to gas digital.com use my promo code, ZOO. You get your episodes early ad free and uncensored. You save money off your subscription. You get access to the live chat as well as the archives. Thousands of episodes of all your favorite gas shows from the last decade. And most importantly, get our Friday bonus episode. We do three of these suckers a week and if you want all three, you got to subscribe. But regardless, however you consume the program, I sincerely thank you. And yes, at the gathering of the Juggalos, the first thing I tell people, I had to be told this as well. If you see money on the ground, leave it. Because people wipe their butts with dollars and then leave them and walk like 10ft away and watch whoever picks them up. And you're also in a place with no running water.
- [05:17]
Rebecca Kaplan
Is it bad that, like, am I too Jewish like that. I like. I was like, I. I'd pick up that dollar. I don't care.
- [05:24]
Zach Amico
You should see the people that are there.
- [05:26]
Rebecca Kaplan
But how is it different than if you just get any dollar anywhere? So you don't know what people have done with dollars.
- [05:31]
Zach Amico
No, but, you know, there's shit on
- [05:33]
Rebecca Kaplan
it you can protect better protect yourself against.
- [05:37]
Zach Amico
Yeah, I guess. I don't know. I remember some prank show, did a thing years ago where they put a 20 in a toilet bowl and then put, like, yellow food coloring in the water and, like, a turd, and they saw who would try and fish the 20 out.
- [05:54]
Amanda Lynn Baez
I feel like I'd do that.
- [05:55]
Rebecca Kaplan
I'd do that.
- [05:57]
Zach Amico
Maybe when I was broke in my, like, early 20s, I might have tried to take toilet paper and make, like, a glove and then immediately run it underwater.
- [06:11]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Yeah, no, that's where my brain was kind of going. I would. I feel like I'd do some.
- [06:14]
Zach Amico
Yeah, maybe. And then I wouldn't want to put it in my wallet right away. I would want to let it, like,
- [06:20]
Amanda Lynn Baez
now let it dry.
- [06:21]
Zach Amico
Yeah.
- [06:21]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Hang it on the window.
- [06:23]
Zach Amico
And by the way, huge hypocrite, because since I staple money to myself or I let people staple money to me for tips and things, the amount of bloody money I have handed to bodega guys who immediately scream and won't touch it. And then I go, oh, my nephew colored on, like, my. My nephew stole it and drew on it with a marker. And I don't have a nephew. That's just my go to story. And I'm banned from the bank of America by my house because one of the. I had 100 stapled to my head. And when they tore it off, it ripped in half. But then I read online that as long as you have a certain, like, over 70% of the bill, you can take it to the bank and they have to exchange it. So I brought in this, like, torn and a half hundred with blood all over it. And the lady's like, there's absolutely no way we're taking this. And I was like. And I brought up the bank of America website and showed them the thing. So then the manager came out with a new hundred, and she's like, we're doing this once. And also, I never Want to see you here again. I actually had to go to. Because I needed to deposit stuff and I was nervous it wouldn't go through on my phone for some reason. I had to go to the bank of America on the. Have you been to the Chinese side of Sunset Park?
- [07:50]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Yes, I have.
- [07:51]
Zach Amico
Dude, I did not know that. It was like rigga diggity. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Chinese. Like fucking fish truck. It was fish truck Chinese.
- [08:03]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Have you been to Industry City, though? Yes, it is the cutest. I'm like, in little, like, was it Chinese or Japan? I'm like, in some Asian country in there. It's bad.
- [08:11]
Zach Amico
This was not great. And the bank of America I went to was like, am I. I thought I just went to the bank in China and if you've ever been impatient, stand behind an old Chinese man at a bank teller. I don't know what he was asking him, but it was a 20 minute process for a withdrawal.
- [08:32]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Jesus.
- [08:33]
Zach Amico
The. The, the. And listen, no hate to the Chinese. Great culture, great food, hard working.
- [08:39]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Oh, for sure.
- [08:40]
Zach Amico
Nose to the fucking grindstone, people. And I admire anybody that can squat and smoke. A very impressive feature. But holy shit, I'm surprised you didn't
- [08:52]
Amanda Lynn Baez
just, like, push him aside and just.
- [08:55]
Zach Amico
I don't have that in me. Every time I've been to Europe, I get pushed because I'm everything that's wrong with America. One time I went to Portugal and I was waiting in line at a deli and I didn't realize I was supposed to walk, like another foot. And an old lady punched me in the back to move me. And I was like, what the fuck? And they went, you're American. You don't understand. They hate you. Yeah, no, but I was like, how they know. I'm like. They looked at you for a second,
- [09:23]
Amanda Lynn Baez
punched her back.
- [09:25]
Zach Amico
She hit me so hard.
- [09:28]
Amanda Lynn Baez
No, Portuguese people are nuts.
- [09:30]
Zach Amico
Have you been part.
- [09:33]
Amanda Lynn Baez
My family is like, from like above. Well, I'm Puerto Rican, but, you know, they like kind of started the whole slave trade. So I'm like part Portuguese, by the
- [09:41]
Zach Amico
way, if I was gonna say Puerto Rican, but that's such a mean thing to call it. Half black, half Puerto Rico.
- [09:49]
Amanda Lynn Baez
No, but they are crazy. I grew up with a lot of them in Jersey, so they have, like, no filter.
- [09:55]
Zach Amico
I love the. It was a beautiful place. A little nervous with the driving because the road. Have you ever been in Europe where the roads are, like, tiny?
- [10:04]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Oh, yeah, they're so tiny.
- [10:05]
Zach Amico
And people are doing like 70. I got so nervous. I have a friend who's about my size. And they went to some real shithole European country to make a movie. And when he got out of the plane, the port, the producer goes, your friend, he is too big to walk the street. What? He goes, our street, very tiny. His car come one way and your friend walk other. One of them have to move. So to be told you're too fat to walk in the street was a new one.
- [10:43]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Your friend can just like King Kong over the car. Like, just like all fours.
- [10:49]
Zach Amico
He's a larger jelly. He's. Oh my. Yeah, he's of my. Not. Not the most dexterities.
- [10:55]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Even with like adrenaline. You never have like adrenaline pumping and you're like, oh, my body needs to do something it hasn't done in.
- [11:02]
Zach Amico
Every once in a while, when I do wrestling stuff, I'll get a. I'll get a little energy, but it's few and far between. I'm a sleepy boy. I'm like having a. I. I'm the bodega cat of Gas Digital. I just fall asleep in different corners.
- [11:17]
Amanda Lynn Baez
I love that.
- [11:18]
Zach Amico
All right, we got a bunch of dumb stories to do. Let's start with this one. Woman, 32, accused of having pool sex with elderly man in front of children. Shannon.
- [11:32]
Shannon
Okay, so they were in, I'm guessing what, their apartment complex. One of their apartment complexes. This is what they look like, if you want to see.
- [11:41]
Zach Amico
Always great.
- [11:42]
Shannon
I feel like he looks pretty great for 75.
- [11:44]
Zach Amico
He looks great. She looks like slightly inbred.
- [11:50]
Shannon
Like she'd be banging a 75 year
- [11:52]
Zach Amico
old in a pool. Yeah, yeah.
- [11:54]
Amanda Lynn Baez
For like meth or something.
- [11:55]
Zach Amico
Yeah, that's a. That's apartment complex.
- [11:59]
Shannon
So they said that she was on top of him and like grinding on him and making loud sounds in. In the pool. And there were children everything around. So they ended up calling the cops to come because the kids were disturbed what was happening. They claimed that they were like, that she was on top of him, but they weren't actually like having penetrative sex. And he says the reason why that would be impossible is because he has a penile implant. I don't know how that makes it impossible. I think that would make it possible.
- [12:27]
Rebecca Kaplan
I think if you have a penile implant, you have to like pump it before you have sex.
- [12:32]
Zach Amico
That's exactly what it is. So they're saying that that seems like a workaround.
- [12:39]
Amanda Lynn Baez
I think they're being ageist. I think that they were doing an 8th grade dry hump in the pool and the kids were like, they're old and ugly. If there were Teens. They probably would have just.
- [12:52]
Zach Amico
I think. Okay. It's inappropriate. Of course.
- [12:55]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Of course. Yes, it is. Any age.
- [12:57]
Zach Amico
I think you get one, hey, knock it off. Because you might be in the throes of passion and not know there's people there. You might have had a few glasses of wine in the morning.
- [13:09]
Rebecca Kaplan
In other cultures, like, people have sex in front of kids all the time. Okay, sorry.
- [13:18]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Portuguese people.
- [13:19]
Zach Amico
Yeah, please explain. Delve into your trauma. Go ahead.
- [13:23]
Rebecca Kaplan
Yeah, so my parents. No, I'm just kidding. I don't know. Like, the kung people.
- [13:29]
Zach Amico
Ah, so you're saying third world. More places where they don't have a lot of rooms.
- [13:35]
Rebecca Kaplan
And I think. Yeah, Well, I read, like, this, like, anthro. Whatever.
- [13:42]
Zach Amico
Anthropological.
- [13:43]
Rebecca Kaplan
Anthropological study of the kung people. And, you know, like, they would just. Like, the parents would just have sex, and, like, the kids would be there and everything was fine, you know? Like, I feel like we don't need to be traumatized by having sex in front of children.
- [13:57]
Zach Amico
I'd rather not.
- [14:00]
Rebecca Kaplan
Sure.
- [14:00]
Zach Amico
I think it'd be a little weird. I feel like it's a cultural thing. Like, I know a lot of black friends of mine say that their mom used to walk around topless a lot.
- [14:13]
Rebecca Kaplan
Yeah.
- [14:14]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Yeah.
- [14:14]
Zach Amico
I think it's just a cultural thing.
- [14:16]
Amanda Lynn Baez
I'm fine.
- [14:17]
Rebecca Kaplan
Seeing nipples topless is different than sex.
- [14:20]
Zach Amico
No, I'm saying. I'm saying there's a scale where I would be horrified.
- [14:25]
Amanda Lynn Baez
It's definitely a European thing where, like, everyone is. I mean, there's condom machines out on the street or at the beach, and there's tents at the beach. They're, like, kind of implying, you know, you never know. And America's just like, shunning. Yeah, we do shun sex a lot.
- [14:41]
Zach Amico
I heard my parents have sex once, and it. I'm still dealing with it, but if
- [14:47]
Rebecca Kaplan
you had heard them have sex 100 times, I bet you I'd be way worse.
- [14:55]
Zach Amico
Yeah, there might be something. I might be killing animals right now also. And I've told this story before. The circumstances of it get worse with every part of the story. So I think it was traumatic for multiple reasons because it's a moment I can specifically point to learning a thing about myself and my relationship with my mother.
- [15:20]
Rebecca Kaplan
Was she in clown costume?
- [15:22]
Zach Amico
No, but she did used to volunteer as a clown. And I recently saw a picture of the both of us as clowns when I was three. And I went. That explains a lot. That explains somebody's Google search history. Okay, you guys can judge me. So I'll get your. I would Love your feedback. So you can judge me here. I'm making myself vulnerable. A.J. shannon, you also can chime in. I very specifically remember when it was. I want to say 2000, 2001 because I had just bought South Park. Excuse me. The next day I went to Suncoast Video to buy South Park Bigger, longer and uncut that I had not seen yet. I was very excited. Night before I'm up in bed because I'm excited because I'm going to buy the south park movie. And this was a very big cultural moment for me. In the middle of the night, I hear beds breaks now also I need you to know I grew up with outdoors.
- [16:29]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Oh no.
- [16:30]
Zach Amico
My room didn't have a door and my parents bedroom had a sliding door that they did not close and that we were across the house from each other. But it was a small apartment. I hear there the called.
- [16:46]
Rebecca Kaplan
Are we gonna. We need an explanation why there were no doors.
- [16:52]
Zach Amico
When you say people had sex with other kids. That was my grandparents house and they put an extra bedroom on. Before I was born, my dad lived in the house with four brothers, his great aunt and his mom and dad in a one bedroom. And they had five kids. That means the first four kids listened to the other kids being made.
- [17:19]
Intro/Outro Announcer
Well,
- [17:23]
Zach Amico
so I hear that and then I listen to it get quicker and quicker to the point where now I'm white knuckling the sheets, staring at the ceiling and I just hear. I hear the dismount. And here's where it gets bad. I hear my dad get up and get a glass of water. He must be putting work in. This is embarrassing.
- [17:52]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Wait, so there was no moaning. It was just bed movement.
- [17:56]
Zach Amico
Not a sound.
- [17:57]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Maybe they were just. Yeah, jumping, like cuddling really hard and moving around.
- [18:05]
Zach Amico
This is.
- [18:06]
Amanda Lynn Baez
And there was hot in the house.
- [18:07]
Zach Amico
No, I. This is. I. Trust me, they were fucking.
- [18:11]
Amanda Lynn Baez
No noise. That's crazy. I mean noise with the bed.
- [18:15]
Zach Amico
But my dad gets a glass of water. I am now pretending to be asleep. My mom, freshly probably still dripping, comes into my room and puts her hand on my chest. I'm 14. To check if I was breathing the way you would do with an infant. The way you would do with a. An infant. To like make sure I didn't have late term sids happening. And it made so much. It made it so much worse that my mom had sex and then went well, let me check if Zachary's breathing.
- [19:09]
Rebecca Kaplan
It's. You were probably breathing in a weird way, pretending to be asleep.
- [19:13]
Zach Amico
Maybe. But then it makes me think how many times Did I sleep through her checking on me like a baby?
- [19:20]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Yeah, plenty. 14 years old, and she's like,
- [19:25]
Zach Amico
yeah, thank God I didn't smell her fingers. But, yeah, she, like, checked my. Like, put her hand on my chest and, like, followed my breathing.
- [19:32]
Amanda Lynn Baez
What made her think that you just died in your sleep?
- [19:35]
Zach Amico
I mean, now I would get it, but then not so much. I think that was just my mom's
- [19:43]
Amanda Lynn Baez
brain, just like, I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
- [19:47]
Zach Amico
And I think there's a big part of me that's very affected by that. Not even the fucking. The fact that up until I was almost a man, my mom continually checked on my breathing in my sleep to make sure I didn't, like, choke on a stuffed animal.
- [20:08]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Oh, she cares. You're her baby. You're not an only child, are you?
- [20:11]
Zach Amico
Yes, I am.
- [20:12]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Oh, that's why she's nuts. You're her everything.
- [20:16]
Zach Amico
Shannon, aj Thoughts?
- [20:18]
Shannon
I kind of agree because, like, and this is, you know, I'm going to be a crazy cat lady here, but I love my cats very much. And when they sleep, sometimes I watch their belly for a second. I'm like, let me just make sure they're very calm. They're not moving. Let me just make sure they're breathing. And it's like, when you love something very much, it's sleeping. Like, let me just check. I think she just loves you very much.
- [20:36]
Zach Amico
Okay. Do you think it had anything to do with the fact that she had just had sex?
- [20:41]
Shannon
No.
- [20:42]
Zach Amico
And she felt guilty.
- [20:43]
Amanda Lynn Baez
That might. A part of me did think that.
- [20:46]
Zach Amico
And that in her head, she went, I did something bad. So now God's gonna kill my baby. Quite possibly, because I always connected the two. And then I wonder, is that protocol? Every time they fuck, she has to get up and see if I died. Like a monkey's paw situation.
- [21:08]
Rebecca Kaplan
Do you. Do you feel comfortable asking her?
- [21:10]
Intro/Outro Announcer
No.
- [21:12]
Zach Amico
I don't think my mom has ever said the word sex to me. My mom still spells out sex if there's a scene. Like, if my mom sees a movie that has a sex scene, she'll. Zachary, you didn't tell me there was gonna be sex in the movie.
- [21:31]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Oh, my God.
- [21:32]
Zach Amico
The same movie that my grandma would when she said, I'll never watch anything you make ever again. There were two sex scenes in it, 45 minutes apart. One in the opening where you just see boobs, and one between two girls where they had a blanket up to their belly buttons, so it was just topless. And my mom cried and went, zachary, Is this a fucking porno? I went, what? She goes, this is pornographic. I went, they have a blanket on the bottom half because this is disgusting. I didn't know you made porno. And then now, from now on, she is upset. She says, I think every movie I do is pornography.
- [22:15]
Amanda Lynn Baez
I love that. She sounds like a hoot.
- [22:18]
Zach Amico
Oh, yeah. She's a blast. We get along very well now. She's calmed down a lot. She just needed me out of the house.
- [22:25]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Okay.
- [22:26]
Zach Amico
I think. I think she needed her space. Cause I think that was, like, the trigger for a lot of the crazy.
- [22:31]
Amanda Lynn Baez
She grew up religious. Did you grow up religious? No.
- [22:34]
Zach Amico
And I always. I Sometimes when my family says stuff, I'm like, are we Amish? And I don't know about it.
- [22:42]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Yeah. I'm like, why would she be so. I don't know that. I don't know how old your mother is, but I know back in the day, it's just very sensitive, especially a cultural thing, too.
- [22:51]
Zach Amico
I think we're just German.
- [22:53]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Yeah. Oh, if you're Jer. Okay, that makes sense. You guys are. No one is. Everyone's closed off.
- [22:58]
Zach Amico
Yeah. Very, very. And you're Puerto Rican.
- [23:02]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Yes, but I grew up in Germany.
- [23:04]
Zach Amico
Okay.
- [23:05]
Amanda Lynn Baez
So I know.
- [23:06]
Zach Amico
All right.
- [23:07]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Can be very reserved. Don't want to talk. My. My stepmom was also German. And when my dad and her divorced, she didn't even tell us my step grandma died. She, like, didn't. They're just very secretive. It's like, whatever. It's life. I don't want to know.
- [23:22]
Zach Amico
Okay.
- [23:23]
Amanda Lynn Baez
About it.
- [23:23]
Zach Amico
All right.
- [23:24]
Amanda Lynn Baez
She's D, E a D. Like, don't even say the word.
- [23:28]
Zach Amico
All right, I'm gonna give this. Listen, that couple looked like. No, go ahead.
- [23:32]
Rebecca Kaplan
After hearing, like, how repressed your mother is, I do think that there was, like, a thing of, like, an OCD type. Like, maybe he died.
- [23:40]
Zach Amico
Yeah. I also. And this is going to be Zach. Trauma dumping. I wasn't allowed to drink glasses of water if my mom was in bed because she couldn't sleep knowing there was a cup in the sink. So if I got up to have water in the middle of the night and my mom heard me open a cabinet, she would say, drink from the faucet.
- [24:05]
Amanda Lynn Baez
What? Why? Is it, like, a cleansing thing?
- [24:09]
Zach Amico
I think she literally couldn't sleep knowing there was a cup not in the dishwasher.
- [24:15]
Rebecca Kaplan
I'm gonna say your mom has ocd.
- [24:17]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Yeah.
- [24:17]
Zach Amico
Oh, the lady that made me eat, if I. She wasn't home. I had to eat my meals over the garbage.
- [24:24]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Yeah. She's fucking crazy.
- [24:26]
Zach Amico
And my dad too. My mom would tell us, if you're gonna have anything when I'm not home, you have to eat over the garbage can.
- [24:34]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Were you just a messy kid? I don't get it.
- [24:36]
Zach Amico
No. Well, I mean, yes, but not to that point. My cousin Michael, when he was four years old, had a chocolate donut from Dunkin Donuts, got up and ran around the house and got crumbs in the living room. My mom, he's in his 30s with a kid now, and my mom still goes, oh, the crumbs, the crumbs.
- [24:58]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Kid, you're European. That makes sense. That makes sense why they're like that.
- [25:04]
Zach Amico
Yeah.
- [25:05]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Oh, my goodness. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, she's just raised like that.
- [25:10]
Zach Amico
It is very. She definitely gets it from my grandma too. So, like, I see the cycle. I wish I kind of got some of it because I'm a slob. All right. Hey, guys. You ever wake up in the morning and just feel soft? Like your coffee's warming your hands not doing a damn thing for your balls or your brain? That's why our great friends created Body Brain Coffee. It's not just coffee, it's coffee with purpose. Specifically testosterone. Packed with clinically backed ingredients like Tongkat Ali. This isn't your girlfriend's oat milk latte. This is for men who want to get their edge back. In the gym, in the boardroom, and yeah, in the bedroom too. And it's not just about testosterone. Body brain is also built to dial in your focus, clarity and mood, thanks to lion's mane Ashwagandha and L Theanine. So while your basic brew is giving you the jitters at a crash, Body Brain coffee is helping you stay sharp, calm and locked in, all while supporting your natural T levels. If you're serious about your energy, your mindset and your masculinity, it starts with what you put in your cup. Body Brain Coffee has Tongkat Ali, lion's mane, ashwagandha, L Theanine, and premium freeze dried Colombian coffee. It's got a bold, rich taste with no fillers. Say 15% today with the code ZOO15Z O O15@bodybraincoffee.com that's bodybraincoffee.com power your day, fuel your drive. Let's get back into the show. So I'm going to give this guy. Very inappropriate. Shouldn't have been doing it. I don't think the penile implant is an excuse. Maybe it doesn't work in the water. I don't know, I knew someone that had one. My dad's boss when I was a kid was an elderly man who was very rich, and he had a hot young wife. And he had it. And his was like the Nike pump, but it was on his hip and one side inflated and one side deflated.
- [27:19]
Amanda Lynn Baez
What? He. How did you even know that? Did he just announce it to his.
- [27:23]
Zach Amico
I don't know. It was. My dad told me once, and he apparently talked about it at a party because they were like. I think they were like, how. You know? Because he was, like, in his 70s or 80s, and they're like, what's the point of having the young chick? And he's like, oh, I took care of that. This is Prevail. This is pre pills, and this is pre.
- [27:43]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Like, HR was not doing their job back in the day, I guess there's Wellers.
- [27:48]
Zach Amico
There's no hr. I grew up in a. Every single job site or business my dad worked with, their Christmas gift was bikini girl calendars. And then I would steal them out of the mail.
- [28:06]
Amanda Lynn Baez
This is early 2000s.
- [28:07]
Zach Amico
90s 90s. Every shop, every distributor, everywhere we went. Your custom, they would have the name of the business and then a calendar of girls in bikinis. And that would be what you got every year in the mail for Christmas.
- [28:23]
Rebecca Kaplan
And your mom was like, this is pornography.
- [28:25]
Zach Amico
No, those went in the shop. My mom didn't see those. I was very upset when she found them.
- [28:29]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Damn shop.
- [28:33]
Zach Amico
I lived above my dad's welding shop.
- [28:35]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Oh, okay. A welder. So German?
- [28:38]
Zach Amico
No, my dad's Italian.
- [28:39]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Oh.
- [28:40]
Zach Amico
But my grandpa was my. There was welders on the other side as well.
- [28:44]
Announcer
Wow.
- [28:45]
Zach Amico
But, yes. So my whole life I grew up with. There was naked calendar girls in everybody's office. And somebody asked me recently about my tattoos, why I have naked ladies on me. I was like, everyone I grew up with that my dad knew had naked ladies tattooed on them. I thought that's just what you did when you grew up. Everyone had naked. Everyone had naked ladies on them. Because we're garbage people.
- [29:14]
Amanda Lynn Baez
I mean, they look cool.
- [29:16]
Zach Amico
I particularly like.
- [29:17]
Rebecca Kaplan
To be fair, it's the only way you were ever going to get a naked lady on you.
- [29:20]
Zach Amico
Thank you. I appreciate that. To the man who's happily married to an unhappy woman. All right, we got a bunch of other shit here. This is a fun one. Dear Abby. I don't think my marriage will survive my dream road trip. Shannon. What the fuck's that mean?
- [29:40]
Shannon
Okay. I'm just gonna read the letter, if that's okay.
- [29:42]
Announcer
Yeah.
- [29:43]
Shannon
Dear Abby, I have just retired. Hold on. Ad Sorry. I've just retired and want to spend the summer taking a long road trip from Florida to Alaska and back. I've dreamed of it all my life and finally have the time and money to do it. My husband hates long road trips and I don't want to take him. He would be miserable and make me miserable in the process. Further, he has a list of demands. No more than six hours of driving per day. A nice hotel every night rather than camping out, which I prefer. And leasing a gas guzzling SUV rather than my energy efficient midsize car. That would triple the amount of time and money this will cost. I suspect some or all of his demands are passive aggressive because he really doesn't want the trip to happen. I understand my husband not wanting to sit at home for. For home alone for weeks while I enjoy myself photographing bears, moose and elk in the Yukon territory. And I do worry about his ability to take care of himself in the house. Honestly though, I'm not sure our marriage could survive this trip. I'm seriously considering just sneaking out the door and sending him postcards. Any ideas? Solo traveler.
- [30:43]
Zach Amico
I have a lot of opinions about this. I would love for you guys to start.
- [30:47]
Amanda Lynn Baez
You sound like he's. He sucks.
- [30:50]
Zach Amico
He sounds like a dickhead to me. That's manipulative.
- [30:53]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Just leave. I would just leave a bit. I won't even be like, here's some food and water, I'm see you in like two weeks.
- [31:02]
Zach Amico
First of all, if you're worried he can't take care of himself, that's a whole other issue.
- [31:07]
Amanda Lynn Baez
You signed up for that.
- [31:09]
Zach Amico
But he's a human being, right? What do you got to leave him? Cereal.
- [31:14]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Right.
- [31:14]
Zach Amico
He's not retarded. Is he retarded? Is he an invalid? I don't mean to use the R word, but is he. Can he physically or mentally not take care of himself or are you being overbearing? Other side. Yeah, guy kind of sucks the nice hotel. Okay, I get the hotel thing. I'm not an. I'm an indoors boy. I don't want to camp. RV maybe, but also I wouldn't want to driving that as a nervous person. I get hotel. Renting the car I think is being a little bougie and the six hours of driving a day. All right. Don't be a pussy.
- [31:59]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Yeah, that's. That's whack. It's just a lot of restrictions and you're like a man. Like, not to sound like all gender roley, but I'm like, come on, dude. Like, how is he incapable of doing a lot, though, physically, maybe? She didn't mention that. She would mention that.
- [32:13]
Zach Amico
No, she said that. Yeah, I think she would say. Right?
- [32:16]
Rebecca Kaplan
Yeah. I think it sounds like they just are in a good fit as a couple. If she, like, wants to camp and, like, photograph elk and he, like, wants to be in an suv.
- [32:24]
Zach Amico
Yeah.
- [32:25]
Rebecca Kaplan
That she's, like, worried is guzzling too much gas.
- [32:29]
Zach Amico
I think there's a compromise to be made here, which is she should drive and he should fly and meet her.
- [32:37]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Yeah, that. Or get that rv, does he not? Oh, he wants to be in a hotel, right?
- [32:41]
Zach Amico
Yeah. By the way, RV is not bad. No, I've done. I've done, like, tours. If you could shit on an rv, I could live on it. Very, very comfortable. The one thing I should have done was bring DVDs, because I didn't realize the TV just doesn't work. It's connected to nothing. Had I had I brought movies, that would have been the easiest trip in the world. Super comfy. More space than you realize. Like, you've got spots to go hide. Pretty comfy. I think this dude just sucks.
- [33:22]
Amanda Lynn Baez
I think he should stay home. I don't see the point of him flying out. Then. She's got to coordinate him going to the forest with her. Like, does he even want to be there?
- [33:30]
Zach Amico
I'm so, like, what I would say in my marriage. My chick doesn't necessarily travel great. She gets very flustered. She gets nervous in new places. Like, she doesn't like. Like, she came. I was in Philly for shows. I had to go on, like, a Wednesday, but I said, I'm gonna be there Saturday, Sunday, come meet me. And she's like, what do I do when I get to the train station? I went, take an Uber to the hotel. And she goes, which way do I go? And I went, I don't fucking look up.
- [34:08]
Amanda Lynn Baez
She doesn't want to go. That's what it is. Yeah.
- [34:11]
Zach Amico
Yeah. She doesn't. Like, just little. Like, I'm so used to traveling and so used to being in a different place every night that it's fucking nothing. It's still like, she's amazed by the way this also shows what shitty hotels I get most of the time. We went to a friend's wedding, and it said, welcome, Mr. And Mrs. Amico on the TV. And she went, how does it know our names? And I went, cause we checked in. And she went, but I've never seen. I was like, don't worry. It's all right, you bumpkin. And then she looks at the mini bar and she goes, $8 for a bottle of water. I went, yeah, it's a nice hotel. They do that. She's like, who would pay that? And the second she said it, I went, I bet me. Because I know now that she saw that $8 water, she's gonna need to try it. And she made it a day and then woke up the next day and went, I'm gonna open that water. I'm so thirsty. I was like, I fucking knew. The second you said that water was $8, I knew you were opening it.
- [35:21]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Yeah, I. I feel like I just crash out anywhere. I'm like, not hard to, like, I'll sleep at the bus station. I'm a psycho. Yeah, we're disgusting.
- [35:30]
Rebecca Kaplan
We're actually, like, going to Binghamton, like, at the end of the month, and we're like, doing a little, like, outdoorsy.
- [35:36]
Zach Amico
That's fun. Oh, yeah.
- [35:37]
Amanda Lynn Baez
I'm opening up for this one, so that's fun.
- [35:39]
Rebecca Kaplan
We're doing a place with an outdoor shower, which I've never done before.
- [35:42]
Announcer
Have you?
- [35:43]
Amanda Lynn Baez
No, but I'm excited.
- [35:44]
Rebecca Kaplan
Yeah. Have you done one?
- [35:48]
Zach Amico
I'm a big proponent of the dude wipes. And then find a real shower.
- [35:53]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Puerto Rican shower, we call.
- [35:55]
Zach Amico
Yeah. An Italian shower. Puerto Rican shower. Yeah. I like the. You get the big pack of dude wipes and you do the gas station shower outdoors. I mean, I could do it. It's a pain in the dick. I don't like it. No one wants to see that. I've done campgrounds and shit with it. I don't care. I have no shame. Like, I have. No. I'm not embarrassed. It's just gross. I don't want to shower somewhere where I need fucking flip flops.
- [36:24]
Rebecca Kaplan
Would you rather take an outdoor shower or touch a poop dollar?
- [36:28]
Zach Amico
Oh, outdoor shower. Is that because I'd be afraid of getting sick from the poop doll? I'd be afraid of getting ill in a place without running water or toilets because it's porta potties out there. And the idea of having a poop related disorder without toilets is very stressful.
- [36:52]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Yeah, that is true.
- [36:54]
Zach Amico
And I did get very ill the last day of the last gathering I went to because I brought food. But they have, like, carnival stands and a few of them, like, I don't think these are inspected. And the last day I got drunk and got food from one of the things and spent the entire next day on the toilet.
- [37:18]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Juggalo. Is this in Ohio, where it was
- [37:20]
Zach Amico
in Ohio this year is going to be in Missouri.
- [37:23]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Whoa. Even worse of a state. That's amazing.
- [37:26]
Zach Amico
Yeah, I'm still figuring it out. I. I asked the booker about my flight info and he's like, we're figuring it out. The airport's three hours away from the venue.
- [37:36]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Fuck's sake.
- [37:37]
Zach Amico
Now you got to do it.
- [37:38]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Yeah.
- [37:39]
Zach Amico
In a secluded area. I get it.
- [37:41]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Do it for the bit. Do for the bit.
- [37:45]
Zach Amico
But yes. I rather. I think I rather shine than poop. I don't. They're not the most healthy looking people as it is, so I'd imagine whatever they're carrying ain't good.
- [37:57]
Amanda Lynn Baez
I'd go to Juggalo Fest. When is that?
- [38:01]
Zach Amico
August 19th, I think. I'm leaving now.
- [38:03]
Announcer
We.
- [38:04]
Amanda Lynn Baez
I can't. Damn. I was like, I'm gonna invite myself. That sounds like a fun time.
- [38:09]
Zach Amico
It's very fun. It's way bigger than you think it's gonna be when you get there. It's miles.
- [38:15]
Announcer
Wow.
- [38:15]
Zach Amico
Like, the stages are miles. Like, the artists get golf carts. Because you'll have a show and then you'll have a show 20 minutes later, two miles away.
- [38:25]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Whoa. Is it like Limp Bizkit? Like, who are. Who's on this line?
- [38:31]
Zach Amico
No, there's been decent. Like, you know, like last year. Gwar, it's more rap.
- [38:41]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Okay.
- [38:41]
Zach Amico
So last year, I think was immortal technique. Tech 9, 36 mafia.
- [38:47]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Oh.
- [38:50]
Zach Amico
Bone thugs In Harmony. This year is Hate Breed. Vanilla Ice, Sick Millie from Milli Vanilli.
- [39:00]
Announcer
What?
- [39:02]
Zach Amico
And I believe Tech9 again. And another big hip hop group. I can't remember.
- [39:09]
Amanda Lynn Baez
We need to go next year. We should. I could see Wear Cookie Monster pajama pants with a bikini top. Are you kidding me?
- [39:17]
Zach Amico
You'd be overdressed. That's the tuxedo. Yeah, that. Yeah. That would be like if you came in a ball game. The fact that you're showing up with all your limbs is already cocky. The first time when we got there, Big J and I got in a golf cart just to do the perimeter. And it was like us doing Planet Earth. Like just trying it. And within the first five minutes, I saw a one armed pregnant woman smoking with a beer in her same hand. I saw a man laying in a field jerking off in basketball shorts. I think he was really fucked up and didn't know where he was. Basically everyone there looks. You remember the mean kid in the first Toy Story, Sid.
- [40:11]
Shannon
Yeah.
- [40:11]
Zach Amico
And he made his own mutant toys. Everyone there looks like that. Like, no one's. All their original parts.
- [40:18]
Amanda Lynn Baez
That sounds awesome.
- [40:20]
Zach Amico
It's pretty Fun.
- [40:21]
Amanda Lynn Baez
And you're like rap music over that.
- [40:23]
Zach Amico
Yeah, it's pretty. It's pretty great. And it's also 24 hours. Like, people. Because you camp there if you want. So it's like different campgrounds and people, like, name their campground and, like, you know, it'll be like, Hatchet Camp. And, like, so. Or then people be like, we're having a party at this campground at three in the morning.
- [40:45]
Amanda Lynn Baez
How much are these tickets?
- [40:47]
Zach Amico
They're pretty expensive. They're not crazy. They're like a couple hundred.
- [40:51]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Okay.
- [40:52]
Zach Amico
And then it's more to get the RV pass, I think.
- [40:55]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Wow.
- [40:56]
Zach Amico
Or like a camping pass. Yeah.
- [40:57]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Music festival.
- [40:59]
Zach Amico
Oh, yeah. It's 25 years or something.
- [41:01]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Wow.
- [41:02]
Zach Amico
Yeah. Yeah. No, it's super fun. And then there's wrestling at, like, 2 in the morning, which is super fun.
- [41:06]
Announcer
Fun.
- [41:08]
Zach Amico
All right. But, yeah, road trip. Fuck them. Next thing. German company, Smart toilet seat can tell you if you have a heart problem.
- [41:18]
Shannon
Shannon, I know you like the toilet seat stuff.
- [41:21]
Zach Amico
I do.
- [41:22]
Shannon
So this one, basically, when you sit on it, it can test your heart rhythm just about as good as a hospital EKG can. And it can detect if you have afib, which is, you know, a different rhythm in your heart. Slowing down, speeding up, skipping beats. And it says that more and more Americans have afib, but, like, never actually know that they have it until they have a stroke or heart attack. So just sitting on this toilet for 30 seconds can give you a scan and tell you if you have afib.
- [41:53]
Zach Amico
Great. Now I have to dread every time I shit to find out that my heart's going. Yeah, no, that's. I guess it's very good. But it would also give me poop anxiety.
- [42:07]
Rebecca Kaplan
Why do they. Why does it need to be built into the toilet?
- [42:10]
Zach Amico
That is true. You could probably just get a thing.
- [42:14]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Yeah. I just don't want to know. I just don't want to. I'm like, for thousands and thousands of years, we've all just went with the flow. I don't want to know that something's wrong with my heart. I just. If it's my time, it's my time, so. So.
- [42:27]
Rebecca Kaplan
Well, you don't want to have a stroke. Like, strokes fuck you up.
- [42:29]
Zach Amico
Yeah.
- [42:31]
Rebecca Kaplan
And you can be on preventative medication, I think, is the idea. Like, if, you know.
- [42:35]
Zach Amico
I mean, I think I don't need the toilet to tell me there's something wrong with me as much as I just need to look in it. Go, oh, yeah, there's not. That's not good.
- [42:47]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Yeah.
- [42:49]
Zach Amico
The second I sit on it. It's going to be like. Yeah.
- [42:52]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Whoa.
- [42:53]
Zach Amico
Yeah. One at a time. I don't want to get insulted by my toilet.
- [42:59]
Amanda Lynn Baez
I just. Yeah, yeah. There's other machinery that can tell me that. Yeah.
- [43:05]
Zach Amico
Can't you just go to the drugstore and put your arm in the thing also?
- [43:10]
Shannon
No, that's. That's for blood pressure. But I mean, Apple most like smartwatches now have an AFIB detector.
- [43:18]
Zach Amico
Oh, okay.
- [43:18]
Shannon
I actually know somebody that found out he had AFIB through his watch. But yeah, I mean, it's. I don't know. They don't have the price of it and it's in. Only in Germany right now. But yeah, it's interesting.
- [43:29]
Zach Amico
No, it's a. It's a good p. There's just. You know. And I'm a big fan. They actually there's a toilet now in some countries that's mobile and you can call it to your room like a Roomba. Shannon, can you look that up?
- [43:45]
Shannon
Yeah, we talked about it on.
- [43:47]
Zach Amico
Oh, we did.
- [43:47]
Shannon
Yeah. I showed it to you. Yeah. In Japan.
- [43:50]
Zach Amico
I'll try to find it. Like you can call your toilet would be Japan. Yeah. I would love a fancy toilet. I. Big fan of the bidet. Game changer.
- [44:03]
Rebecca Kaplan
The Roomba toilet. Sounds like it's more of an Israeli invention.
- [44:07]
Zach Amico
Okay.
- [44:07]
Rebecca Kaplan
Yeah, sorry. I would use that toilet China.
- [44:11]
Shannon
Sorry, I'm racist.
- [44:19]
Zach Amico
Yeah, that's awesome, dude. First of all, I would ride around outside like Professor X.
- [44:29]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Whoa.
- [44:30]
Zach Amico
Yeah. Then it docks.
- [44:33]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Do we need the. The. The captain arm rest things on those?
- [44:39]
Rebecca Kaplan
Oh, it's for like mobility impaired people.
- [44:41]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Oh, yeah. Okay.
- [44:42]
Rebecca Kaplan
It's not just for people like me who have massive diarrhea.
- [44:49]
Zach Amico
My question, Shannon, did they say how it empties?
- [44:53]
Shannon
Yeah, it has. It connects to your like plumbing and it dumps and self cleans, like UV light to disinfect. They got all this stuff.
- [45:02]
Zach Amico
Okay, that's pretty good.
- [45:03]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Then do I just snap my fingers and my toilet comes.
- [45:07]
Zach Amico
Oh, toilet
- [45:10]
Amanda Lynn Baez
just shit in front of all my friends. Like, sorry, I had to go so bad.
- [45:14]
Zach Amico
I would love. I. I suggested on this show, so there's a sugar free habanero candy that supposedly if you eat the whole bag, you just. Because sugar free candy already makes you shit. But it's like a spicy sugar free candy that if you eat the whole bag, you are committed to a day of shitting. And I said either that or the stuff you take before a colonoscopy. And I want to do a podcast, like remote podcast, where everyone sets up a microphone at a table in front of their toilet. And it's just a four hour stream of everyone having diarrhea.
- [45:59]
Amanda Lynn Baez
God.
- [46:00]
Zach Amico
That's while trying to do a podcast.
- [46:02]
Rebecca Kaplan
I. I would crush that podcast. I have a lot. I actually, like, I have so much diarrhea. Like, I've done a colonoscopy twice and like, I did the prep and I was like, huh, this, like everyone says, this is horrible.
- [46:11]
Zach Amico
Tuesday, your tiny Jewish belly.
- [46:16]
Rebecca Kaplan
Yeah.
- [46:17]
Zach Amico
Your upset Jewish tummy.
- [46:20]
Rebecca Kaplan
Yeah. Like, I'm like, that's. That's kind of my normal. Yeah. So I think I could. I think I could podcast through.
- [46:25]
Zach Amico
It would be pretty fun. I think it would be. Because what I had suggested was. Was goal. Like, you know, the last person to hold it in. Like, if you can fight it, you
- [46:38]
Amanda Lynn Baez
know, like, is it cheaper than Ozempic? Like, you'd probably lose mad weight just shitting yourself all the time.
- [46:43]
Zach Amico
I'd imagine a lot of it's water weight.
- [46:46]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Oh. Oh, okay. That's not.
- [46:49]
Zach Amico
I'd imagine you gain. It's like kind of when you lose weight on. And you have the flu.
- [46:53]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Okay.
- [46:54]
Zach Amico
You gotta get it back pretty quick.
- [46:57]
Rebecca Kaplan
Yeah. You have to be. You have to have constant diarrhea to maintain the weight loss. That's why I'm.
- [47:02]
Amanda Lynn Baez
I feel like I do have a lot.
- [47:03]
Zach Amico
That's her secret. She's always shitting.
- [47:06]
Rebecca Kaplan
Yeah. I mean, I have a joke that I do. Like, people like, ask me all the time, like, how do you eat so much crap and stay so thin? And I'm like, isn't it obvious? I poop a lot.
- [47:13]
Zach Amico
You know, I'm always shitting.
- [47:16]
Rebecca Kaplan
Yeah.
- [47:17]
Amanda Lynn Baez
I need a guy. I poop a lot. And I'm still chubby, so I don't understand what that's all about.
- [47:23]
Rebecca Kaplan
Maybe you'd be chubbier without.
- [47:26]
Zach Amico
There you go.
- [47:28]
Rebecca Kaplan
You don't know what.
- [47:29]
Zach Amico
But Shannon, I know you don't shit. So don't worry, we're not going to involve you in this conversation. I would like to know the prep for the colonoscopy. Just because of my obsession with the Blue Collar comedy Tour. And I've heard two different. One of those guys do the bit about getting it. I am curious.
- [47:47]
Rebecca Kaplan
Have you never had one?
- [47:48]
Zach Amico
No. It's coming. I mean, I'm almost 40. It's about time. I am very curious because I want to do one. I love the videos of people having a fart before they can get released from the hospital. And I want one so bad of me just destroying a hot. Me just really blowing up a hospital. I'd Be like the joker in the nurse outfit. But it's all farts. You know what I'm talking about, right? When people leave a colonoscopy, they have to. The nurse has to see the fart a bunch before they can get cleared.
- [48:23]
Rebecca Kaplan
I don't think that's part of it. I don't remember that.
- [48:26]
Zach Amico
Shannon, pull it up.
- [48:29]
Rebecca Kaplan
It's part of some procedures, but I don't recall that.
- [48:32]
Zach Amico
It might have been something. It's not a. Is it colonoscopy when they put the camera in? Yeah, I think it might be colonoscopy. Maybe. Maybe they just wanted you out of there. Hey, get this. Get this mad shitter out of here.
- [48:50]
Intro/Outro Announcer
We're run. We're.
- [48:51]
Zach Amico
We're running out of bedpans.
- [48:55]
Rebecca Kaplan
But I don't know. Maybe I just don't. I. You can black out on anesthesia, so maybe I don't remember it.
- [49:00]
Zach Amico
Oh, yeah, well, so that's. They're also usually loopy from pain medicine, which is also very funny. Shannon, did you find anything?
- [49:10]
Shannon
Sorry, I was. I was looking up the process for it.
- [49:12]
Zach Amico
I missed your prompt videos of people farting after their colonoscopy.
- [49:17]
Shannon
That's probably in my favorites from being on the show so much.
- [49:19]
Announcer
One second.
- [49:21]
Zach Amico
Because they're thunderous.
- [49:24]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Oh, my God.
- [49:25]
Zach Amico
Like, it's air that got in there. It's not air that was in you.
- [49:36]
Rebecca Kaplan
I'm sure mine was very demure.
- [49:38]
Announcer
I hate this.
- [49:39]
Amanda Lynn Baez
I hate this. Oh, my God.
- [49:52]
Rebecca Kaplan
You ever think that, like, people share too much of their lives on the Internet?
- [49:57]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Oh, my God.
- [49:58]
Rebecca Kaplan
Do we need to see this?
- [50:20]
Amanda Lynn Baez
That is crazy. You can just tell who's done anal. I don't know if I have to.
- [50:40]
Zach Amico
Okay, my. I was at my sister in law's house all weekend, and they have a pit bull named Bayla, and Bayla got a very upset tummy and B drops. Some bad ones as it is. It. I swear to God. She was asleep on the couch and she changed positions and I went, oh, let me lay next to the dog. And I put my head where her ass had just been. I felt like I was bobbing for apples and diarrhea. It was the smelliest. I have never. She ruined every dinner for three days by getting under the table and farting. And everyone had to get up.
- [51:16]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Dog farts are just nuclear. They're disgusting.
- [51:20]
Zach Amico
And I will say I have
- [51:23]
Rebecca Kaplan
use
- [51:23]
Zach Amico
the dog as an excuse more than once. And last Christmas, my sister in law made my favorite, which is prime rib with horseradish. And she also made. Oh, no. And Then, excuse me. I'm thinking of St. Patrick's Day. Now they make corned beef and cabbage, which is a bad one. Cat. The cabbage really gets me so good, though. And I farted so bad. After St. Patrick's Day, they thought the pit bull on the floor and started yelling at her, going, where did you poop? And I had to go. I. I farted really bad.
- [52:01]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Jesus. There was. There was this one time I went to a prop house for work, and I hadn't used the restroom so bad. I think I ate, like, bad, bad eggs or something. And I'm like, can I use your restroom? Like, of course you can. So I use the restroom. I'm. I'm thinking every bathroom should have, like, teak wood or incense, something. Spray, poop, whatever.
- [52:21]
Zach Amico
That pooper.
- [52:22]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Yes. This place had nothing. I destroy this toilet. Like, my shit is black. I'm like, I. I feel gross. And oh, my gosh, I hope it doesn't smell. As I leave, I get the props. I'm like, all right, thanks. I realize I left my keys. I'm in the Uber already. Tell them to turn around. It's only been, like, two minutes. I go back, they're fanning the place. There's incense. Everything's open in this. In this fraud house. And they looked. They saw my face and were, like, shocked that I came back. And I was like, hey, I love Mikey's here. I'm so sorry that I. They're like, yeah, it's fine. It's over there. And then this lady's just with her little teakwood. I'm like, where was that teakwood? In the bathroom.
- [53:06]
Zach Amico
My. One of my best friends is my friend Sabrina, and she's probably about 90 pounds. Tiny, tiny little thing, and she's half Puerto Rican and half Arab. And I have never seen someone destroy a bathroom. She was dating my friend Justin, whose dad was a preacher, and she was shitting. It was so bad that he came. You remember on the Simpsons when Lisa stole the pig for the barbecue? And Marge just went, bart. And he goes, I'm right here. Sorry. His dad came downstairs in the middle of Sabrina blowing up the bathroom and went, is Zach in there shitting? And I was sitting on the couch, and I went, I'm here. And he goes, oh, Jesus. And he was literally spraying Febreze under the door while she was shitting. And then one time, when it was still Eastville, the club on 4th, yeah. She came to see me, and they had to police tape the bathroom door closed after she went in. Because she destroyed the toilet and clogged it.
- [54:16]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Never judge a size. You never know who's gonna drop a fucking.
- [54:20]
Zach Amico
Oh, yeah, she dropped a bomb. It was also my only friend who's ever been. Got caught shitting in Union Square and got a ticket for public urination.
- [54:30]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Why would she shit in Union Square?
- [54:33]
Zach Amico
She shit in a bush. But the cop thought she was pissing and just gave her a public urination ticket.
- [54:40]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Why? Why does she do that?
- [54:42]
Zach Amico
I think it was like, two in the morning and there was nothing close.
- [54:44]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Oh, my God.
- [54:46]
Rebecca Kaplan
Just man up and poop yourself at that point.
- [54:48]
Zach Amico
You know, it happens to the best of us sometimes. You know, I. I've said I. I travel with Alex. Tom Selly a lot. That is my. My designated road driver. And we like to stop anywhere to eat where the sign just says eat with an arrow.
- [55:07]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Love that.
- [55:08]
Zach Amico
And, yeah, some of those rides home have been pretty precarious. And I did shit my pants on my own elevator coming home. Because when, okay, the second you see your house, it always gets so much worse.
- [55:22]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Yeah, you feel it poking out and everything.
- [55:24]
Zach Amico
Yeah, you're prairie dogging. But then by the time your key gets in the door, your asshole's like, oh, we're here. All systems go. And what had happened was I was on my elevator, then a guy ran in and asked me to hold it. And then he checked his mail. No. So I'm dying. He gets off the elevator a few floors before me, and I coughed and fully shit my pants. And, like, not like a log.
- [55:57]
Amanda Lynn Baez
The worst is when you throw up. And you know how your body just kind of like, yes, the last time I threw up, I shit myself. Which is like, what, a few months ago? And I'm like, damn it, I should have just sat on the toilet and just threw up in a little can. Or I'd rather throw up on the floor than shit on the floor.
- [56:13]
Zach Amico
I agree.
- [56:14]
Amanda Lynn Baez
You know, it was just. It was disgusting. Tmi.
- [56:17]
Zach Amico
But, God, I really do have a style of podcasting. The amount of people I get to talk about shit.
- [56:23]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Rebecca, have you not shit yourself?
- [56:25]
Rebecca Kaplan
I just told you, I have a massive.
- [56:28]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Oh, yeah, yeah.
- [56:29]
Rebecca Kaplan
What do you. Of course I have.
- [56:30]
Amanda Lynn Baez
You have. Okay, yeah, you have diarrhea. But I'm asking if you've.
- [56:34]
Rebecca Kaplan
I'm saying, of course, if it's always
- [56:37]
Zach Amico
diarrhea, that means this poor girl can't trust a fart.
- [56:41]
Amanda Lynn Baez
So many pants.
- [56:43]
Rebecca Kaplan
I mean, that's why I say your French shoe just pooped in her bed. Because it's like, you get to. You can like go walk to a bathroom at that point and clean it up instead of like, you know, and
- [56:52]
Zach Amico
you can throw out. You can throw out the underwear.
- [56:55]
Rebecca Kaplan
I. That's for amateurs. I. You clean it.
- [56:57]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Oh my God. I guess it depends which under. No, the one I sh. Yeah, no, I got rid of that. That was bad.
- [57:04]
Rebecca Kaplan
I don't know.
- [57:04]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Bad. Depends.
- [57:06]
Zach Amico
Have you ever.
- [57:07]
Rebecca Kaplan
No. If it was depends, you could have thrown it out.
- [57:09]
Amanda Lynn Baez
No, I did. So I threw that one out because it depends what kind it was.
- [57:13]
Zach Amico
Yeah, no, she was talking about adult diapers are called Depends. Oh, she's making a very clever joke.
- [57:19]
Amanda Lynn Baez
You are. You're amazing.
- [57:22]
Rebecca Kaplan
But no, I clean.
- [57:23]
Zach Amico
That's an old joke. That's an older. What is 80 year old pussy taste like? It depends. Friends in the booth, I need you to do something for me really quick. I need you to go on Amazon and pre order the Marvel Legends Mole man figure. It should have went on Pre sale at 1 o'.
- [57:42]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Clock.
- [57:42]
Zach Amico
You could put it on my account, whatever, or I'll pay you back. But it went on pre sale and I want to make sure I get it. Please confirm. I set an alarm and I forgot I was going to be on the air.
- [57:53]
Shannon
Mole man action figure.
- [57:55]
Zach Amico
Yeah. Mole Spaceman. Marvel Legends. Is it coming out?
- [57:59]
Shannon
Hold on one second.
- [58:00]
Zach Amico
I'm sorry, this is the nerdiest. I'm sorry if your pussies were wet from all the diarrhea talk, but I need a toy. I need a toy for my collection.
- [58:07]
Rebecca Kaplan
I think your fans are really into this.
- [58:11]
Zach Amico
Scroll down.
- [58:14]
Amanda Lynn Baez
No.
- [58:14]
Shannon
Did I write it right? Mole man marble. Marvel Legends figure.
- [58:18]
Zach Amico
Yeah, I'll figure it out when we get off the air.
- [58:21]
Shannon
Sorry.
- [58:21]
Zach Amico
Don't worry about it. I'm sure maybe, maybe it won't sell out. I have a big. I call it my nerd shelf. And I have all my favorite villains and I, I, I take it pretty seriously.
- [58:33]
Amanda Lynn Baez
No image we need to see. You don't have a photo of that?
- [58:35]
Zach Amico
That's my Instagram. I have a ton of my Instagram.
- [58:38]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Okay.
- [58:38]
Zach Amico
I have like, I have too many. It's, it's getting. I'm not like Mike Lawrence level or. He's got like 400 again there. No, I probably have like a good 60. I keep it to just people I really like.
- [58:53]
Amanda Lynn Baez
But it's still not becoming, not, not hoarderish yet.
- [58:58]
Zach Amico
No. And I don't keep them in the package anymore. I rather display them and have fun. I used to be a bit. When I was growing up, my family would encourage me not to Open toys. And my grandma would always go, that's gonna be a lot worth a lot of money when you're an old man. So when I was a kid, I would always ask for 2 of stuff so I could save one because I was convinced everything was going to be worth a ton of money. My mom recently mailed me a box of toys I never opened, and she could put it on ebay. Every single thing was worth less than the price tag on it from 20 years ago.
- [59:36]
Rebecca Kaplan
That. That action figure over there. My dad, like, got that for me when the Watchmen movie came out, and he was like, don't take this out of the box. And I'm like, I'm finally at the point where I'm like, I don't want this anymore. And I did check the value to see if it, like, was. And it's like, it's $20.
- [59:51]
Zach Amico
Yep. Most of them, it is not worth it. But then I always feel like there's certain ones I fall in love with, and those are always the ones that get crazy expensive. But I won't spend more than I usually tap out at about 60. And I feel like that's a.
- [60:06]
Rebecca Kaplan
For dating to.
- [60:07]
Zach Amico
Why? Yeah, absolutely. Now, my record is what's the oldest person. What's the biggest age difference you ever had with a partner?
- [60:17]
Amanda Lynn Baez
A partner, like, romantic actually dating or just. Okay.
- [60:23]
Rebecca Kaplan
My oldest is 39.
- [60:25]
Amanda Lynn Baez
39. Yeah. I wanna. He said he was. I was, what, 21 at the time? And he was 30. He said he was 33. I'm sure he was. Wait, how old were you actually was? 21.
- [60:35]
Rebecca Kaplan
Okay.
- [60:36]
Amanda Lynn Baez
I was in college.
- [60:37]
Rebecca Kaplan
But you said you were 22.
- [60:38]
Amanda Lynn Baez
I was 21 and he was 30. He said he was 32, but I was like, bro, you look like you're, like, hitting early 40s. But I didn't. He was paying me, so I was like, okay, okay.
- [60:49]
Zach Amico
Well, there you go.
- [60:50]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Yeah. So I want to say it was. That it was a good, like, decade. Maybe like 10 years.
- [60:55]
Zach Amico
I think my. Mine is mid-20s and 45.
- [61:00]
Amanda Lynn Baez
That's. Yeah, that's not bad. No, I'd go older.
- [61:03]
Zach Amico
I'd go. I would have no problem. Older now, but would you do it
- [61:06]
Rebecca Kaplan
in a pool in front of children?
- [61:08]
Zach Amico
100%. Look at me. Of course. I was built for public pool. Public pool inappropriateness. My family would be happy there was a woman there, and I wasn't doing it by myself in front of kids. That would be like, wow, thank God he's not as bad as we thought. There's another Zach Amico who got arrested for child pornography.
- [61:34]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Oh, that sucks. And when people search you, it's that guy.
- [61:36]
Rebecca Kaplan
And they're not even surprised.
- [61:39]
Zach Amico
No, my mom's cousin called her and, like, talked to her about it and was like, you know, I always thought you raised him better than that. It must be some influence. She goes, I wouldn't blame yourself. And my mom's like, what are you talking about? She's like, zachary getting arrested for child pornography. And my mom's like, what the fuck? And then I had a good. And then, of course, talk yourself out of that one. I had to find the article and send it to her with the picture of the other guy.
- [62:06]
Amanda Lynn Baez
That's horrific.
- [62:08]
Rebecca Kaplan
Was it creating or watching?
- [62:10]
Zach Amico
I believe downloading and distributing. However, there are multiple other Zach dummy goes. Who are regular people. And I think I've ruined their life, because when you try and search their name, it changes to me. So I think turnabout is fair play in the amount of other Zach d'. Amicos. I've ruined that. I do deserve one. I also deserve whatever bad happens to me because there's a Zach d' Amico who's like. He was a college wrestler, he's super handsome. He's like a successful businessman, but every time you try and Google him, I just. It's all me. He goes, did you mean this morbidly obese, bisexual cat clown? All right, we'll do one or two more things before we get out of here. Here we go. Are you guys familiar with Mackenzie Shurilla?
- [63:08]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Mackenzie Shurilla? Yes. That bitch that drove into a wall?
- [63:12]
Zach Amico
Yes. Rebecca, are you familiar?
- [63:15]
Rebecca Kaplan
Yeah.
- [63:16]
Zach Amico
Yeah. So for people that are. We've covered her a bunch. Her nickname in prison is Sherillo the Killer. She is a lady who was in a car with her boyfriend and his friend, and she drove at top speed into a wall, killing them both. She got charged with it because they found out she had done a dry run of that route a couple days before via her gps. As well as she tried to say that she was narcoleptic. And she tried. We found that she was trying to speak Carney with her mother to say that she had an epileptic seizure. And how are we gonna. What are we going to tell the cops? And she got caught with all that, as well as did an interview from jail where she breaks crying to go. Is that enough?
- [64:03]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Yeah, she's crazy.
- [64:05]
Zach Amico
She's great. She's a complete lunatic and a psychopath. But we have this now. Mackenzie sh. A jail phone call with Mom. Shannon, how Am I going to make
- [64:14]
Announcer
this one book stretch? You may have to read it a couple times. I'm not reading the same book over and over and over over again. I don't know, Kenzie. I don't know. This is just. This super, super sucks. I guess. I mean they should have like when you come, they should be able to give you like a, a, like a welcome. Not a welcome thing but, but like you're new. It's going to take a week to get your commentary. Here's some. We need to just figure out this iPad like ASAP. Like I'm so for real. And, and my visitation is still pending for my video visits and there's no. They just said they'll contact me when I'm approved so. And get all my friends to make them too. I did. I sent it to everybody.
- [65:01]
Rebecca Kaplan
Okay. I get that she sounds integral.
- [65:06]
Announcer
Yeah. This is gonna. Until you get your. Like it's only 3:30. How is it only 3:30 for real? I did not even know it was only 3:30. I thought it was like five. It's 3:30.
- [65:22]
Zach Amico
Pause.
- [65:23]
Announcer
Can you get a job? No, cuz I have the charges.
- [65:28]
Zach Amico
So. She's mad that prison isn't more stimulating.
- [65:32]
Amanda Lynn Baez
She's the worst.
- [65:33]
Zach Amico
Isn't that the point of prison?
- [65:35]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Yes. You're supposed to brain. Your brain supposed to rot. You're supposed to rot. You just. You've killed two innocent people. Like you. Why do you have an iPad in the first place?
- [65:47]
Zach Amico
The amount of the serious lack of remorse is shocking. And that she's like, I killed two people, man. I only have one book.
- [65:58]
Shannon
She's also mad she didn't get a gift bag when she got to the gift.
- [66:00]
Zach Amico
Oh yeah, yeah. There's not a VIP bag that she doesn't get swag when you get in. There's not a swag bag.
- [66:07]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Where's my welcome basket? Like what the fuck?
- [66:10]
Rebecca Kaplan
No, I think like, I think there are actually like, like horrific like problems with the prison industry. I think like one of the things she's talking like, I don't think they give you a toothbrush. I think they make you buy it. So like she might be going a week without a toothbrush or something. Like basic. There are basic necessities that they make you buy. Like the for profit prison industry is hard.
- [66:29]
Zach Amico
Yes. The, the, the, the for the private owned prisons is horrendous. Of course.
- [66:36]
Rebecca Kaplan
Yeah.
- [66:39]
Zach Amico
Do I watch way too many videos of people showing how to cook with commissary? Yes.
- [66:43]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Oh, that's cool.
- [66:44]
Zach Amico
Because it's super super fun. Some of it looks okay, some of it looks gross. But I'm always very impressed when they figure out how to deep fry.
- [66:55]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Yeah.
- [66:55]
Rebecca Kaplan
What are they using?
- [66:56]
Zach Amico
So they'll take coffee cans and oil, and then they take, like, the battery out of, like, a Walkman or something, and. Or, like, they'll take something electronic, and they'll take it apart and plug it in and use it to heat up the oil, and they'll, like, dip. Like, I saw a guy that was just making enchiladas and selling them.
- [67:18]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Whoa.
- [67:20]
Zach Amico
And I still want to make toilet wine for the show.
- [67:23]
Amanda Lynn Baez
You should. That sounds fun.
- [67:25]
Rebecca Kaplan
So you wouldn't reach in to get a $20 bill, but you would drink wine that was brewed in a toilet?
- [67:31]
Zach Amico
It's in a bag.
- [67:33]
Rebecca Kaplan
Oh, they don't do it right in it.
- [67:34]
Zach Amico
No, no. You put it in a bag, it ferments in the. So it needs to be in a closed container to ferment. And you, like, have to burp it. It's like you put fruit and sugar and a bunch of stuff in a bag, and you let it ferment, and then you have to, like, burp it so it doesn't explode.
- [67:54]
Amanda Lynn Baez
I need to watch these videos.
- [67:56]
Zach Amico
Oh, I love watching people, like, how they, like, make treats for each other and stuff. How they make laffy taffy, which is sick. It's creamer and juice or whatever, and then they, like, put sugar in it, and then you roll it until it's taffy, and it takes, like, hours. And then you cut it into pieces and let it dry, and then they sell it.
- [68:20]
Amanda Lynn Baez
They're like Martha stored up in that.
- [68:22]
Zach Amico
So they'll take, like, a drink, like a mat. So if you have, like, a grape Kool Aid, they put that in with coffee creamer, and you add just a little bit of water at a time till it's the right consistency, and then you roll it out and make candy.
- [68:35]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Wow. Jail doesn't sound that bad.
- [68:37]
Zach Amico
I'm sure it's awful. There's probably a lot of rape
- [68:43]
Amanda Lynn Baez
for. Yeah, I guess for the women, too.
- [68:45]
Zach Amico
I bet you get assaulted quite a bit by guards.
- [68:49]
Rebecca Kaplan
There are male guards that I read Orange is the New Black, and it's not fun like the TV show. It's about the horrors of. Anyway, sorry for.
- [68:59]
Zach Amico
No, no, no, you're fine. Item iron is pretty tough. I've stolen before. I had a friend who went to jail for a girl that went to jail for domestic abuse because her husband had flipper hands.
- [69:15]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Flipper hands?
- [69:16]
Zach Amico
He was deformed.
- [69:16]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Oh, like, his skin is.
- [69:18]
Zach Amico
Yeah, he was. He had lobster hands. And when the cops. He hit her and they got in a fight, but when the cops came, they were like, well, we can't take the lobster man to jail.
- [69:29]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Wait, why not? Didn't he slap her?
- [69:31]
Zach Amico
Because they said that he was incapable of doing the damage he did or something. I don't know. He had a good lawyer. So she went to jail, and she said that they would have masturbation contests, and it would be a bunch of girls, and they would all lay in a circle, head to head, like they were in a field in a movie, and they would all masturbate and call out whenever somebody had an orgasm. And they would, like, time each other and have contests for, like, who could come the most, who could come the fastest.
- [69:59]
Amanda Lynn Baez
This was in New York.
- [70:00]
Zach Amico
No, this was in. I don't want to say where it was.
- [70:04]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Fuck, it sounds very Vegas. I'm like, do they do that in New York? Do you have an outdoor.
- [70:11]
Zach Amico
I got a surprise middle of the night, illegal phone call from a girl that had smuggled a phone in, and a different girl. And every dude, this is me. Like, I am not a prize by any means, but the fact that they were talking to a guy. Girls were just running in and taking their tits out because they heard someone had a boy on the phone. It was awesome. I was so mad they got caught with that phone. I was getting crazy, like, 4:00am like, pow, wow calls. And ladies were just like, does he want to see my tits? That is shout out bad bitches out there. All right, I think we're about done. Please support the band. Tell everybody about your podcast real quick.
- [71:03]
Rebecca Kaplan
We read, like, really awfully written fan
- [71:05]
Zach Amico
fiction and, like, what would be some of the IP that you guys cover?
- [71:13]
Rebecca Kaplan
First season, we did my immortal, which is, like, the. If you haven't heard of it, it's, like, widely considered to be, like, the worst fan fiction ever written.
- [71:22]
Zach Amico
Okay, What. But what is it? Like, Harry Potter. That's what I meant.
- [71:26]
Rebecca Kaplan
It's a goth retelling of Harry potter.
- [71:27]
Zach Amico
Okay. Didn't 50 shades of gray started as Twilight fan fiction? Twilight fanfiction. And they re. They renamed it, right?
- [71:37]
Rebecca Kaplan
Yeah.
- [71:38]
Zach Amico
So that's fun. That's cool. And as you. What have you. Have you ventured into any other characters?
- [71:44]
Rebecca Kaplan
Yeah, I think, like, we were doing this, like, super long Sonic the Hedgehog.
- [71:47]
Zach Amico
Oh, hell yeah.
- [71:48]
Amanda Lynn Baez
We did My Little Pony, but that was a little more violent.
- [71:51]
Rebecca Kaplan
A cannibal. My Little Pony.
- [71:53]
Amanda Lynn Baez
There wasn't as much sex as we wanted.
- [71:55]
Zach Amico
Okay. It was just more like eating questions in Sonic.
- [71:58]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Like chili dogs, like slushies. I don't think he had much dogs.
- [72:03]
Rebecca Kaplan
Yeah.
- [72:04]
Zach Amico
In, in the cartoon. He loves chili dogs.
- [72:07]
Amanda Lynn Baez
Yeah. The person writing that was not.
- [72:09]
Zach Amico
Yeah, that might be cartoon canon, but yeah, I always remember because it was Julia White. Urkel was the voice of Sonic really in the cartoon when I was a kid, I believe. And yeah, he loves chili dogs, which is the number one sex act that my wife gets mad at when I talk about, you know, what a chili
- [72:31]
Rebecca Kaplan
dog is like, not the food.
- [72:34]
Zach Amico
That's where you shit on a girl's chest and then titty her.
- [72:38]
Amanda Lynn Baez
I gotta get paid good fucking money for that to get even shit on.
- [72:43]
Zach Amico
Absolutely. There's no we. I, I couldn't imagine the negotiation. All right, well, that was a fun, lovely day. Thank you so much to our wonderful guests Rebecca Kaplan and Amanda Lynn Baez. Please support them. Go see them out on the road. And we will be back on Friday with our bonus episode, Goodbye.
- [73:04]
Intro/Outro Announcer
Fun's begun. No sleeping in. Noon is morning time to him Papa may go chug it down just like the favorite obi's clown. Grab a call back and join the crew. It's a Miko morning too. It's a Miko morning too.
- [73:32]
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