The Mel Robbins Podcast

Episode: 3 Questions to Ask Yourself to Figure Out What You Really Want

Host: Mel Robbins
Date: November 3, 2025

Overview

In this inspiring and actionable episode, Mel Robbins presents a transformative framework for anyone feeling stuck, lost, or seeking change: The Odyssey Plan, developed by Stanford professors Bill Burnett and Dave Evans. Centered around three thought-provoking questions, the episode guides listeners to honestly assess their current path, imagine alternative lives, and finally, dream without brakes. Mel seamlessly weaves research, personal anecdotes, and clear steps, offering listeners a map to uncover "unfinished business" and move toward a more fulfilling life—one small, experimental change at a time.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Power of the Odyssey Plan (03:30–08:15)

• Origin: Odysse Plan comes from Stanford's popular "Designing Your Life" course by Bill Burnett & Dave Evans.
  • "If you want a better life, if you want to call in more hope, more energy, more passion, more possibility, this is exactly how you do it." – Mel Robbins (03:34)
• Purpose: These questions shake up thinking, expose unfinished business, and illuminate new options.
• Who Is This For? Anyone of any age who feels stuck, complacent, or vaguely dissatisfied.

2. Question 1: What if You Stay on Your Current Path? (08:20–26:15)

Key Question: "How will your life look if you stay on your current path?" (08:38)

• Brutal Honesty: Not about dreaming—be real about what happens if absolutely nothing changes.
• Examples: Stagnant relationships, unfulfilling jobs, health issues, or dreams deferred.
  • "You don't want to stay on a path that's slowly disappointing you." (18:38)
• Mindset Shift: Recognize your current actions are leading somewhere—do you like that destination?
• Research Highlight:
  • Visualizing your (even negative) possible futures increases motivation to make proactive changes.
  • "Even if the visualizations of the future are negative, those mental pictures can boost the positive emotion of motivating you to change." (22:48)
• Quote:
  • "Your life doesn't change by accident. Your life changes on purpose." (23:24)
• James Clear Reference:
  • "Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become." (24:44)

3. Question 2: If Your Current Path Vanished, What Would You Do? (26:29–55:04)

Key Question: "If the path you're on disappeared tomorrow, what would you do?" (26:55)

• Rug Pull Exercise: Imagine everything familiar—job, role, routines—gone. What’s the first thing you’d do?
  • "What this question does so brilliantly... it pushes you out of your comfort zone and it pushes you past that moment." (28:19)
• Purpose: Prevents freezing or spiraling when plans collapse; primes you to see options others miss.
• Stories Shared:
  • Friend blindsided by losing a job—pivoted to consulting and built a business. (30:51)
  • Dancer with injury pivoted to teaching—finding new passion in a related field. (31:52)
• Personal Reveal:
  • Mel shares her secret wish to write a fantasy trilogy, showing the vulnerability and playfulness these questions can unveil.
  • "I just have this desire to write a fantasy trilogy now... it's kind of cringy to even tell you that. But I've always... loved world-building things." (33:54)
• Stanford Professors' Insight:
  • "When you really force your imagination to believe that you have to make a living or you have to fill your time doing something other than what you're already doing, you will come up with something. You will." (38:48)
• Main Insight:
  • Most people only consider new paths after forced change; this question is about proactive imagining.
  • "Fear starts to lose its grip. You stop telling yourself, oh my gosh, if I lose this job, I'm completely screwed." (53:04)

4. Question 3: If Nothing Held You Back, What Would You Do? (55:04–74:20)

Key Question: "How would your life look if there was nothing holding you back?" (55:32)

• Permission to Dream: Money, expectations, responsibilities—all vanish. Full permission to imagine, play, and wish.
  • "How would your life look and feel if there's nothing holding you back? I'm saying money is not an issue. You don't care about other people's expectations. Nope. Let them." (56:02)
• Contrast to Childhood Imagination:
  • "When was the last time you let yourself daydream for real?... Because back then you could imagine becoming an astronaut in the morning and a rock star by the afternoon." (57:10)
• Research Highlight:
  • People focused on intrinsic values (growth, connection, contribution) are happier, less anxious.
  • "What matters is whether or not when you lay your head on the pillow at night, you feel like you're a good person." (59:38)
• Addressing Social Fear:
  • The biggest roadblock isn’t money or logistics—it's fear of other people's opinions.
  • "Let them misunderstand you. Let them unfollow you. Let them be disappointed... because guess what? They already think negative thoughts about you anyway." (01:02:00)
• Real-Life Example:
  • Henry's dream—farmhouse with cats named after celebrities, giant TV, Italian ice vending machine—epitomizes permission to dream, no matter how silly.
• Mel’s Example:
  • Years ago she dreamed of a podcast but dismissed it due to fears; now it’s her reality. "There was just this unfinished business for me... And the answer was very clear at the time. It was, I would start a podcast." (01:08:46)

What To Do With Your Answers (01:10:38–01:18:00)

Step 1: Pick One Insight or Direction

• Choose something from your answers that sparks genuine curiosity or energy.

Step 2: Create a Prototype (Small Experiment)

• You don’t have to “blow up your life.” Instead, run a low-stakes experiment to test the waters:
  • Example: Mel’s husband Christopher wanted to write a book. He began by adding daily writing to his morning routine.
  • "If you just change one habit...you automatically change the path that you're on." (01:12:37)
• Research, try a class, talk to someone in the field—just one actionable step.

Step 3: Keep Experimenting

• Every small step is a vote for your next self; you gather evidence and grow your confidence.
• "Every time you run a little experiment...you learn what energizes you and what drains you. You're going to learn where you wanna go next and oh, I can leave this behind." (01:15:45)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Unfinished Business:
  • "He said, Mel, I just feel like I have unfinished business with myself." (06:19)
• On Facing Reality:
  • "Most people aren't waking up every day jumping for joy about where they are…most of us wake up every day and wish we could change something." (15:46)
• On the Power of Visualizing Negative Outcomes:
  • "Your brain is experiencing the pain now. And hopefully the visualization of where this is all leading wakes you up now." (23:00)
• On Permission to Dream:
  • "Even if it sounds silly, ridiculous. How about you and I be like Henry and just write it down?" (01:05:58)
• On Letting Go of Social Fear:
  • "Let them think whatever they're gonna think. Cause guess what? They already think negative thoughts about you anyway." (01:02:00)
• Advice for Action:
  • "You're not stuck. You're not lost. Deep inside, you are the answers that have been there all along." (01:10:42)
• On Life as Experiment:
  • "It's not about locking yourself into a big decision. It's about unlocking the full possibility of your life." (01:16:38)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:30] – Introduction to the Odyssey Plan
• [08:38] – Question 1: How will your life look if you stay on your current path?
• [15:46] – Autopilot and the perils of 'cruising'
• [22:48] – Power of visualizing the future to motivate change
• [26:55] – Question 2: If your path disappeared tomorrow, what would you do?
• [30:51] – Real-life story: Job loss leads to freelance success
• [33:54] – Mel’s vulnerable fantasy trilogy longing
• [38:48] – Stanford professors on the power of forced imagination
• [53:04] – How imagining disaster reduces fear
• [55:32] – Question 3: How would your life look if nothing held you back?
• [59:38] – Intrinsic values and happiness research
• [01:02:00] – Let them: Dealing with other people's opinions
• [01:05:58] – Henry’s cat-dream house
• [01:08:46] – Mel's own transformation from speaking to podcasting
• [01:12:37] – Prototyping: Small experiments for life change
• [01:15:45] – Learning from experiments, adjusting the journey
• [01:16:38] – Life as continual experiment, not fixed destination

Conclusion & Takeaways

• You are not stuck—you're just on a path. Every path leads somewhere.
• There are always more options than you think, but you need to ask the right questions to see them.
• Imagining worst-case scenarios or radical rug-pulls can free you from fear and expose your capabilities.
• Dare to dream big—even the silly dreams tell you something vital.
• Change your life one tiny experiment at a time. Start with 15 minutes a day on what excites you.
• Revisit these questions often; your answers will evolve as you do.

Final words from Mel:

"As your friend, I want to tell you that I love you and I believe in you, and I believe in your ability to create a better life. And more importantly, you are capable of creating the change that you now see." (01:18:00)

Quick Reference of the 3 Questions

1. How will your life look if you stay on your current path?
2. If the path you’re on disappeared tomorrow, what would you do?
3. How would your life look if there was nothing holding you back?

Recommended: Re-listen or share this episode with friends and family—the Odyssey Plan works best when discussed openly.