The Mel Robbins Podcast
Episode: How to Get Motivated: #1 Dopamine Expert’s Protocol to Build Willpower & Get Things Done
Host: Mel Robbins
Guest: Dr. Anna Lembke, Professor of Psychiatry and Addiction Medicine, Stanford University
Date: January 22, 2026
Episode Overview
In this episode, Mel Robbins sits down with Dr. Anna Lembke, Stanford’s renowned dopamine and addiction expert, to dissect why modern life is hijacking motivation, what dopamine really does in the brain, and how to reclaim willpower, focus, and joy. Dr. Lembke explains the interplay of pain, pleasure, and habit – and lays out her research-backed protocol for a "dopamine reset" to help listeners break compulsive behaviors, build resilience, and get things done, even when they don’t feel like it.
Key Discussion Points and Insights
1. Why We Feel Stuck: The Hijacked Brain
[00:00–06:51]
- Mel opens with the struggle most people feel: knowing what to do but being unable to get motivated.
- Dr. Lembke introduces the idea that the real problem is not personal weakness, but a brain overstimulated by easy dopamine hits (phones, junk food, social media).
- Quote:
"You're not unmotivated. You're overstimulated. You've been trained by modern life to chase easy dopamine all day long... But here's the good news. You can take your brain back." — Mel Robbins [01:55]
2. Understanding Dopamine and the Pleasure-Pain Balance
[06:51–14:36]
- Dopamine is a neurotransmitter key to motivation, reward, and reinforcement.
- The brain operates on a balance: pursuit of pleasure (dopamine) and avoidance of pain.
- Dr. Lembke uses the metaphor of a seesaw: pleasurable activities tip the scale one way; pain tips it the other. The brain always tries to return to baseline (homeostasis).
- Habits form when the brain remembers a big dopamine “hit” and craves repeating it (e.g., drug use, but also scrolling, eating snacks).
- Quote:
"Pain and pleasure are co-located in the brain... the same parts that process pleasure also process pain, and they work through what's called an opponent process mechanism." — Dr. Lembke [10:47]
3. Craving, Addiction, and Modern Compulsions
[14:36–22:00]
- Craving is a biological drive to restore homeostasis when the pleasure-pain seesaw is off-balance.
- With repeated exposure to any high-reward stimulus, the amount of dopamine released and the pleasure felt decreases, while the craving and discomfort increase. This is how compulsive behaviors and addiction develop.
- Addiction is not limited to substances — it can be toward screens, relationships, shopping, or even work.
- Quote:
"It's the continued compulsive use of a substance or a behavior despite harm to self and/or others." — Dr. Lembke [17:42]
4. The Addictive Potential of Everyday Behaviors
[22:00–27:52]
- Modern life increases our access to highly rewarding stimuli and enhances their potency (social media, dynamic app design).
- Algorithmic feeds and notifications exploit our brains’ wiring for novelty and control, increasing “grip” and making it hard to disengage.
- Uncertainty and novelty further drive compulsive engagement.
- Quote:
"Addiction... is really about control. It's about trying to create a world within a world." — Dr. Lembke [24:40]
5. Dopamine, ADHD, Anxiety, and Seeking Reassurance
[27:52–35:47]
- People with ADHD may have lower baseline dopamine in reward pathways, increasing impulse-seeking and susceptibility to addiction.
- Compulsive reassurance-seeking in relationships can operate like an addiction, especially when used to manage anxiety.
- The ease of digital connection (instant messaging, "Find My iPhone") enables and amplifies these dependency loops.
- Quote:
"It's that moment that we cross from mutual love and respect to... I'm using you to help me modulate my emotions, which... can become a drug." — Dr. Lembke [31:55]
6. The Cycle of Tolerance and Deficit
[35:47–49:59]
- Dr. Lembke shares her personal experience becoming compulsively attached to "romantasy" novels, illustrating how even healthy-seeming behaviors can tip into addiction.
- Over time, the brain adapts: more stimulus is required for the same satisfaction, and everything else feels dull or unfulfilling.
- Quote:
"Eventually, we end up in this chronic dopamine deficit state... now we're needing to use not to get pleasure, but just to bring ourselves back up to baseline and stop feeling pain." — Dr. Lembke [47:21]
7. Why Motivation Falters in Modern Life
[54:21–59:38]
- The human brain evolved to seek pleasure and avoid pain in a world of scarcity; today’s abundance hacks this system and sabotages motivation.
- Over-rewarding ourselves leads to a chronic dopamine deficit, leaving us unmotivated for harder, long-term rewarding behaviors (like exercise, studying, etc).
- Modern culture encourages comfort and avoidance of distress, but some pain or discomfort is vital for well-being.
- Quote:
"To be happier, to experience more joy, we need to do the counterintuitive thing of... greatly reducing our use of instantaneous, easy pleasures and intentionally leaning into right-sized pain." — Dr. Lembke [56:34]
8. The Dopamine Reset: Protocol for Change
[62:41–69:30]
- Dr. Lembke prescribes a "dopamine detox," or abstinence period from your "drug of choice" (whether it's social media, food, or anything else). Full reset typically takes 3–4 weeks.
- This period allows the brain to restore homeostasis, reducing cravings and increasing baseline happiness and motivation.
- The most difficult part is craving, but these symptoms are temporary and a sign of healing.
- Planning ahead and removing temptations are critical to success — don’t rely on willpower alone.
- Quote:
"If people can go for about three to four weeks, they generally... feel better and experience less craving. But if they only go for two weeks or less, they do not typically get out of that vortex of craving." — Dr. Lembke [63:41]
9. How Intentional Discomfort Rebuilds Motivation & Joy
[66:12–76:00]
- Leaning into discomfort — whether through exercise, difficult conversations, or tolerating boredom — helps reset the brain’s pleasure-pain balance, boosting happiness and willpower.
- Starting the day with discomfort (exercise, movement, mindfulness) and planning barriers to instant pleasure (no phone in bedroom, make to-do lists for device use) helps retrain the brain.
- Creating space by removing cheap pleasures naturally leads to increased presence, creativity, and motivation.
- Quote:
"When we remove all these ways of distracting ourselves... we're suddenly left with this big empty space, which feels very terrifying. And yet it is in that empty space where we go, 'oh, okay... I guess I'll get started.'" — Dr. Lembke [75:41]
10. Practical Tools for Dopamine Resets
[78:04–81:36]
- Delete apps, turn off notifications, use grayscale screen settings.
- Limit access to "drugified" foods; stock only simple, wholesome foods.
- Boring but mindful activities (walks, stretching, chores without distractions) are powerful for both boredom-tolerance and creativity.
- Avoiding “frictionless” gratification after stress (after a hard workday) minimizes risk of slipping into compulsive patterns.
11. The Value of Boredom and Reclaiming Resilience
[81:44–84:55]
- Boredom is initially painful but is essential for creativity, self-reflection, presence, and genuine happiness.
- Building tolerance for boredom/discomfort allows the brain to reset and uncovers deeper sources of pleasure and satisfaction.
- Quote:
"Boredom really is kind of the midwife of invention... we can't know what gives us deep joy if we're constantly distracting ourselves." — Dr. Lembke [81:49]
Recommended Action Steps (Dr. Lembke’s Protocol)
[84:18–86:13]
- Recognize your resilience; you are wired for pain and can tolerate discomfort.
- Pick your biggest compulsive behavior ("drug of choice") and commit to abstain for 3–4 weeks.
- Anticipate cravings and plan your environment to minimize temptation.
- Insert intentional moments of discomfort daily (exercise, chores, boredom).
- Reflect on the difference in mood, motivation, and presence after your dopamine reset.
- Quote:
"We really are wired for pain and lean into it... we can do these hard things and, in the process, reset our reward pathways and... things will get better." — Dr. Lembke [84:18]
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- Mel Robbins, [01:55]: "You're not unmotivated. You're overstimulated. You've been trained by modern life to chase easy dopamine... You can take your brain back."
- Dr. Anna Lembke, [10:47]: "Pain and pleasure are co-located in the brain... the same parts that process pleasure also process pain."
- Dr. Anna Lembke, [24:40]: "Addiction... is really about control. It's about trying to create a world within a world."
- Dr. Anna Lembke, [63:41]: "If people can go for about three to four weeks, they generally, not always, but about 80% of folks feel better and experience less craving."
- Dr. Anna Lembke, [75:41]: "Just creating that kind of empty space... is amazing for motivation — you sit there and go, 'well, I guess I'll get started.'"
- Dr. Anna Lembke, [81:49]: "Boredom is the midwife of invention."
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 00:00–06:51 — Intro, why motivation is so hard
- 06:51–14:36 — What is dopamine? Pleasure-pain balance explained
- 14:36–22:00 — Craving, addiction spectrum, everyday compulsions
- 22:00–27:52 — Digital addiction; role of novelty, uncertainty, and control
- 27:52–35:47 — Dopamine, ADHD, anxiety, and seeking reassurance as addiction
- 35:47–49:59 — Personal narrative: Dr. Lembke and romance novels; the cycle of deficit
- 54:21–59:38 — Why motivation collapses in modern life
- 62:41–69:30 — Dopamine detox: How to reset your brain
- 69:30–76:00 — Practical strategies; intentional discomfort in daily routines
- 78:04–81:36 — More protocols: Handling food, work, and relaxation
- 81:44–84:55 — The role of boredom; resiliency and final advice
Takeaway
Mel and Dr. Lembke provide both illumination and hope: By reducing easy dopamine hits and intentionally leaning into discomfort, you can restore motivation, willpower, and joy. Modern abundance and constant stimulation have reprogrammed our brains for compulsive behavior — but with awareness, deliberate pauses, and minor daily challenges, you can reset your system and rediscover the satisfaction of real, sustained effort.
Final Advice:
Pick one compulsive behavior to abstain from for 3–4 weeks. Expect discomfort and craving. Plan your environment for success. Insert small, intentional challenges daily. On the other side, you’ll reclaim your focus, motivation, and joy.