The Mel Robbins Podcast: How to Move On, Let Go of Past Mistakes, and Create a Better Future

Release Date: July 24, 2025
Host: Mel Robbins
Guest: Carl Lentz
Duration: Approximately 72 minutes

1. Introduction

In this poignant episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, Mel Robbins delves deep into the themes of forgiveness, accountability, and personal transformation. Joined by her longtime friend, Carl Lentz—a former megachurch pastor who faced a highly publicized downfall—Robbins explores the arduous journey of confronting past mistakes and paving the way toward a more fulfilling future.

2. Carl Lentz's Story: Rise and Fall (00:08 – 05:00)

Carl Lentz opens up about his spectacular rise as a prominent figure in the religious community and his subsequent dramatic fall. He recounts his role in co-founding Hillsong Church in New York City, amassing nearly 150,000 members and becoming a cultural icon between 2017 and 2019.

Carl Lentz (00:08): "You can't outrun it out, drink it out. Ignore it."

However, in 2020, Carl's life unraveled when he publicly admitted to an affair, leading to his termination from Hillsong Church. This scandal not only shattered his professional reputation but also strained his personal life, affecting his marriage and family deeply.

3. Facing and Owning Mistakes (02:48 – 10:05)

Mel Robbins emphasizes the importance of confronting one's past to achieve healing and progress. She introduces Carl Lentz as a prime example of someone who took accountability for his actions, despite facing immense public scrutiny and personal loss.

Mel Robbins (02:50): "It's not the mistake that you made that defines you. It's what you do next."

Carl echoes this sentiment, highlighting that ignoring or hiding from one's mistakes only exacerbates the pain and hinders personal growth.

4. The Impact on Family and Reputation (10:05 – 18:06)

Carl delves into the profound impact his actions had on his family and reputation. He describes the immediate aftermath of his scandal—losing his home, being thrust into the spotlight of tabloid coverage, and the emotional toll it took on his children.

Carl Lentz (14:09): "When you have that in a marriage, you're in trouble. And she did what a strong woman would do, which is challenge me over and over again."

Despite the possibility of retreating from public life, Carl chose transparency, believing that his story could serve as a beacon of hope and transformation for others facing similar struggles.

5. Choosing to Heal and Rebuild (18:06 – 26:50)

Carl discusses the internal and external battles he faced during his downfall. He likens his experience to having "fractures" in his soul—personal issues that he attempted to outrun but ultimately could not escape.

Carl Lentz (18:39): "I had things in my private life that were really inconsistent with who I wanted to be and including, I cheated on my wife and broke our marriage vows."

Recognizing the destructive pattern he was entrenched in, Carl sought professional help, which was pivotal in his journey toward healing. He underscores the necessity of facing one's issues head-on rather than allowing them to fester and cause further harm.

6. The Role of Forgiveness and Self-Forgiveness (53:08 – 57:03)

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to the concept of forgiveness—both from others and oneself. Carl shares his transformative moment where he realized that if a higher power could forgive him, so should he.

Carl Lentz (53:33): "Here's how you know somebody has forgiven themselves. They start to invest in the new version of who they are now."

He emphasizes that forgiveness is a conscious decision and requires ongoing effort and support. Merely uttering the words "I forgive myself" is insufficient without tangible actions that reflect this newfound self-acceptance.

7. Overcoming Shame and Embracing Change (43:36 – 48:00)

The conversation delves into the debilitating nature of shame and its impact on one's ability to move forward. Carl offers profound insights into distinguishing between shame and remorse, advocating for a shift in focus from self-condemnation to proactive change.

Carl Lentz (43:36): "Shame is all about stuff you cannot control. You cannot control what people think about you."

He encourages listeners to release the shackles of shame by acknowledging their worth and committing to personal growth, thereby reclaiming their narrative and fostering resilience.

8. Practical Tools and Advice for Listeners (48:00 – 66:18)

Carl provides actionable strategies for overcoming past mistakes and fostering self-forgiveness:

• Stop Digging: Recognize when you're continuously exacerbating your problems and take steps to halt this destructive behavior.

  Carl Lentz (27:04): "The first thing you need to do is stop digging. Put the shovel down."

• Invest in the New You: Focus on building a better version of yourself through consistent effort and positive actions.

  Carl Lentz (53:08): "I forgive myself. I'm going to let that go."

• Seek Support: Engage with therapy, prayer, meditation, and supportive communities to maintain your journey toward healing.

• Control Your Narrative: Take ownership of your story by consciously deciding how you want your future to unfold, irrespective of past mistakes.

Carl Lentz (66:18): "You control your story. Nobody else can write it for you."

9. Conclusion and Parting Words (66:18 – End)

As the episode wraps up, Carl and Mel Robbins reinforce the message of self-worth, resilience, and the continuous journey of personal development. Carl leaves listeners with a powerful affirmation of their inherent value and the limitless potential for growth and redemption.

Carl Lentz (67:36): "You are such a gift in my life, and the world is such a better place because you're in it."

Mel Robbins concludes by reiterating the transformative potential of embracing one's flaws and actively working towards a brighter future.

Key Takeaways

• Accountability is Crucial: Facing and owning up to one's mistakes is the first step toward healing and personal growth.

• Forgiveness is a Process: Self-forgiveness requires conscious effort, support, and a commitment to becoming a better version of oneself.

• Shame vs. Remorse: Understanding the difference between shame and remorse can empower individuals to let go of self-condemnation and embrace change.

• Control Your Narrative: Regardless of past actions, individuals have the power to shape their future and define their own story.

• Seek Support: Engaging with therapeutic practices, supportive communities, and personal reflection are essential for overcoming past traumas and mistakes.

Notable Quotes

• Carl Lentz (00:08): "You can't outrun it out, drink it out. Ignore it."

• Mel Robbins (02:50): "It's not the mistake that you made that defines you. It's what you do next."

• Carl Lentz (14:09): "We're gonna teach you how to look at it all differently and forgive yourself."

• Carl Lentz (53:33): "Here's how you know somebody has forgiven themselves. They start to invest in the new version of who they are now."

• Carl Lentz (67:36): "You are such a gift in my life, and the world is such a better place because you're in it."

Conclusion

This episode serves as a compelling narrative on the power of vulnerability, accountability, and the relentless pursuit of personal betterment. Through Carl Lentz's candid recounting of his struggles and successes, listeners are offered both inspiration and practical guidance on how to navigate their own journeys toward forgiveness and a brighter future.