
This episode is a MUST listen. If you feel stuck right now - whether it’s with your health, your job, your habits, your relationships - this conversation is for you. Today, you’re getting a new framework that helps you create an instant shift, and it comes from one of Mel’s favorite thinkers on the planet: Mark Rober. Mark is a NASA engineer who turned his love of science and education into the #1 science education platform in the world, with 72 million YouTube subscribers. And here’s here to teach you a completely different way to approach goals, confidence, and happiness: Treat your entire life like an experiment. Mark has spent his life turning failure into data, setbacks into experiments, and high-pressure work into play. He has synthesized every single thing he has learned into a few simple tools and strategies that he is teaching you today. His personal framework, rooted in engineering, will help you achieve your goals, improve your habits, be happier, make be...
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Mel Robbins
Hey, it's your friend Mel. And welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast.
Okay, I just left the studio and I am telling you this conversation that I just had. Oh my gosh, I cannot wait for you to hear this. People have told me that this guy that you're about to meet is sensational, but I'd never met him until today. He blew me away. And he's going to blow you away too with what he is about to teach you today. It is going to change the way that you think about failure, success, and how to live a happier and more creative life. My guest today is the one and only Mark Rober. He is the most watched science creator and educator on the planet with almost 72 million million YouTube subscribers. He's a former NASA and Apple engineer and the man behind some of the most legendary YouTube videos of all time. This guy is a genius. He has the brilliant brain of a scientist with this generous heart of a teacher. I just love him. Mark has spent his life turning failure into data, setbacks into experiments, and high pressure work into play. And he has synthesized and every single thing that he has learned into a few simple tools and strategies and frameworks that he's going to teach you today. His personal framework, rooted in engineering, is going to help you achieve your goals, improve your habits, be happier, make better decisions, have more fun, and become more confident. This is about thinking like an engineer. Not to build rockets, but to build a better life.
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Hey, it's your friend Mel. And welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I am so excited that you're here. It's such an honor to be together and to spend this time with you. If you're a new listene or you're here because somebody shared this episode with you, I just wanted to take a moment and personally welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast family. I cannot tell you how excited I am about today's conversation and the simple tools and frameworks that will change the way you live. You're going to learn those from the one and only Mark Rober. Mark is the most popular science creator and educator on the planet. His YouTube channel has almost 72 million subscribers. Now.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
To put that into perspective, that's like.
Mel Robbins
Saying one out of every four people in the United States is subscribed to his channel. That's crazy. Mark is a mechanical engineer who earned his master's degree in engineering at the University of Southern California. He then spent nine years at NASA working on the team that built the Mars Curiosity rover. After NASA, Mark joined Apple's special projects team as a product design engineer. And today he's the founder and head engineer at Crunch Labs. But it was 14 years ago that his life changed when he uploaded his very first YouTube video. And the rest is history. So please help me welcome the incredible Mark Rober to the Mel Robbins podcast. Mark Rober in the house.
Mark Rober
I'm so excited to be here.
Mel Robbins
I am so excited to be here too.
Mark Rober
You're like one of my heroes. Like, you know, on like the digital front of like, I feel like we're kind of had similar stor so I feel like I'm in the room with like a hero. That's very relatable to me.
Mel Robbins
Well, I feel the same.
Mark Rober
Okay.
Mel Robbins
And you've made a huge impact in a lot of my.
Family members lives. My nephew, my son is a monster fan. I would not let him like skip college for the day to come in and meet you. I'm a mean mom. But I would love to start, Mark by having you tell me how could my life be different if I take everything to heart that you're about to share and teach us today about failure, about creativity, about really being true to yourself and knowing who you are to heart. And I apply it to my life.
Mark Rober
Yeah. I think something that's helped me a lot in life is like valuable frameworks, especially when looking at challenges and when looking at failure, like viewing failure in a way that it doesn't mean you are a failure, but you can. It almost flips it where it's exciting and like that approach to problems and challenges, seeing them as like exciting opportunities really is a framework thing that, that I found has just been an incredible help in my life.
Mel Robbins
I personally love frameworks because it feels then like the things I need to do feel a little less arduous and it doesn't feel like the things I screwed up are so personal.
Mark Rober
Yes.
Mel Robbins
And I love the idea that you have a framework to help make better decisions.
Mark Rober
My favorite feeling truly is when that aha moment when you like learn something new and you have a new framework and it allows you to kind of see the world. We've all read a book or listen to a podcast that sticks with you and then changes. Heck, the book let them right. Is this for so many people. And I love that moment so much. The only thing I love more is giving that to someone else. I love to be that conduit.
Mel Robbins
How do you describe what you do? You know what I mean, for somebody who may be listening right now or watching right now, and they're like, I love this guy. Who's this guy? What's this guy do? Tell me more about this guy. How would you describe what you do?
Mark Rober
Yeah, so, you know, I'm a mechanical engineer. I got my bachelor's and master's in mechanical engineering. I worked at NASA for a decade working on the Curiosity rover.
Mel Robbins
Wait, the thing that went to Mars?
Mark Rober
Yeah.
Mel Robbins
What did you do with that?
Mark Rober
I worked on the jetpack that lowers it to the ground and then some hardware on the top deck of the rover. So the arm digs in the dirt, dumps it into the belly of the rover, and my hardware accepted the sample.
Mel Robbins
That's so cool.
Mark Rober
And it's still working to this day, so fingers crossed.
Mel Robbins
Wow. Okay. So you worked at NASA.
Mark Rober
Yeah.
Mel Robbins
Doing all kinds of cool stuff.
Mark Rober
Yeah. And then I worked at Apple for five years in their special projects group, so. And then eventually, when I.
Mel Robbins
Like top secret stuff.
Mark Rober
Yeah. I worked on the. What the hell? I worked on the Apple car.
Mel Robbins
You did?
Mark Rober
Yeah. Which didn't end up becoming a thing.
Mel Robbins
I was gonna say. Is there an Apple car? Okay.
Mark Rober
They canceled it soon after I left.
Mel Robbins
Okay, well, it's because you left.
Mark Rober
Yeah, I like to think so.
And so then, and only then, when I had 10 million YouTube subscribers at that point, did I quit my actual job to do YouTube full time.
Mel Robbins
Okay, so hold on. How did you. And why did you start making videos on YouTube? Because you got big jobs at NASA and Apple.
Mark Rober
Yeah.
Mel Robbins
And how old are you when you. When you kind of started taking anchoring? I'll say.
Mark Rober
Like, my first video I uploaded, I was, like, 31 years old.
Mel Robbins
Okay.
Mark Rober
And it was a Halloween costume. It was like an iPad in front and an iPad in back. If you do a FaceTime video call, it looks like you have a hole in your body because the camera in front shows what's on the back. So it's like an optical illusion.
Mel Robbins
Oh, so you have a. So you have the camera in the back calling. You have the camera in the front.
Mark Rober
Calling the camera in the back, and vice versa. So then. So what happens? If you wave your hand in the front, it shows that on the screen in the back. So if you cut a hole in your shirt, it looks like you have, like, a hole in your body. Right.
Mel Robbins
Oh, my God. So both ways Both ways.
Mark Rober
So it was a very. And this. I love ideas that are really simple and that you could just make with stuff you already have. Right. And so I uploaded that YouTube video because I took it to a Halloween party, and everyone's like, this is amazing. And it went super viral, like, out of the gate, like 3 million views. And I was like, well, this is a good feeling. Like, I, like, I have way more ideas. And back then, you didn't know you could make money or get famous on YouTube. It was just like, you're just sharing ideas.
Mel Robbins
Got it.
Mark Rober
And basically, I've uploaded one video a month since that day. So almost 15 years now.
Mel Robbins
So for 15 years, one video a month since that day. And the videos are all explaining super cool things, mostly about science, generally.
Mark Rober
It's like, you know, it might be like, you know, someone stole a package from my porch. So I made. I engineered a glitter bomb that, you know, could get revenge on porch pirates, where it has four phones inside that record and upload to the cloud, but there's also a cup that spins a pound of the world's finest glitter. Of course, there's some fart spray in there, so they have to get it rid of it out of their house. We built eventually, like, 20 and put them on porches all across America.
Mel Robbins
Okay.
Mark Rober
In spots we knew were hot spots for getting porch pirates.
Mel Robbins
Okay.
Mark Rober
And. Yeah. And then we just tracked them all, and we would know when one got stolen. And then it's. Everyone's watching the footage real time, and you get some pretty hilarious reactions.
Mel Robbins
Wow. So you have 71 million subscribers on YouTube. Why do you think these experiments that you elaborately orchestrate, why do you think they connect so deeply, not just with kids, but with people of all ages and backgrounds around the world?
Mark Rober
You just have to evoke a visceral response. In other words, has to make them laugh. They have to, you know, feel excited. They just have to feel something. Right. For something to be remarkable, it has to be. You have to be able to be remarked about. And so you don't finish. You don't share a video you don't finish watching. So if you could just make them feel something, then they are way more likely to actually take action and share it. And I think this is applicable in people's lives. If you want. You know, a lot of times you just want to focus on the facts. Like, well, the facts are on my side, so I'm just going to state the facts. But if you don't emotionally connect with someone, maybe you want to pitch something to your boss. Like, this big idea, right? Maybe you. You want to apologize to your partner or your kid. Like, if you. If the emotion's not there, it doesn't cause that shift in the heart. And we survived long before written to tell stories to each other. And so it's in our DNA to resonate with stories and like. And I think this is very applicable for people's lives of just, like, leaning into the story and the emotion of a thing, just for interpersonal relationships. Like, your apologies will be accepted faster and more earnestly. You will find that you can, you know, pitch. Pitch ideas to coworkers, even just, like, where are we going to eat? Right? You are more influential if you can remember that we are hardwired to tell stories.
Mel Robbins
So if you don't think you're a good storyteller or you're, like, a really shy person, is there any advice that you have about how you can use this framework of thinking about the emotion? Or. I love that thing that you said to be remarkable. You have to have people remark about you. And telling somebody a story or moving them emotionally or getting them excited about something is what makes people remark about you. So how could somebody think about storytelling as a tool to use to prepare for anything? Whether it's a date or it's a job interview or it's having a hard conversation or it's trying to go viral, making your next video.
Mark Rober
The biggest downside, especially as an engineer I get this, is like, is to focus on the facts. Let's say you're selling a thing. It's like, well, you know, my processor has 20% more gigahertz. People don't care. It's just a spec sheet, right?
Mel Robbins
Yep.
Mark Rober
They want to know how this will make them feel. So I think part of it is, like, empathizing with the other person you're talking to and putting yourself in their shoes and understanding from their perspective what would feel meaningful to them.
Mel Robbins
You only do one video a month.
When you are sitting down to think of the idea, are there particular checkboxes that you go through? Because one of them has to be, what emotion are we evoking? What story are we telling? Is there a framework you use that helps you architect the type of experiment that you're gonna do? Or how you're using kind of this. How do I evoke something? How do I engineer a story that creates emotion for people?
Mark Rober
What I do is, I like to say, like, hide the vegetables.
Mel Robbins
So what does that mean? Oh, you mean, like, blend them? What are you talking about?
Mark Rober
No, no, no. Yeah. That's all I'll say so. Well, at the end of the day, my goal is to reach as many brains as possible with this story of, like, learning how to think critically, to be curious, to embrace failure, thinking like an engineer, even if you're not an engineer. Right. Like, that is my North Star. So the way I do that is hiding the vegetables. So I might have a video that's like a 15 ton jello pool, which is very hard to do, by the way.
Mel Robbins
15 ton jello pool?
Mark Rober
That's right.
Mel Robbins
Is that like a swimming pool full of jello?
Mark Rober
Yes. That weighs 15 tons, which is which. No one has literally ever in the history of the Internet actually pulled that off. Like, we were the first because we had to go to, like, you know, because Jello, you have to boil it and then you have to cool it down.
Mel Robbins
Yes.
Mark Rober
So we. I went to the perfect spot in the United States where overnight it would get to refrigerator temperatures. We boiled it in, like six huge, you know, 55 gallon drums. It took a full week. I lost 10 pounds because I was so stressed out. But we pulled it off. And you could see someone belly flopping in a pool of jello. That's a very clickbait title and thumbnail.
Mel Robbins
Okay.
Mark Rober
But once you click on the video, mal is where I get you. Because pretty soon you're learning about chemistry, you're learning about the scientific method, you're learning about, like, the variables we control. Right? So it's like, I can't teach you if I don't have your attention. So by. By teaching science in this way, via spectacle, you come in, you get hooked, you're like, wait, what? And so that's what I really do is like, you know, I get your attention, I hide the vegetables. And this is actually something.
I have not really talked about this publicly, Mel, but can I give you a big bombshell here? A big announcer here. We're taking all the tricks I've Learned over this. 15 years of hiding the vegetables, of teaching science in a way that's exciting. Yeah. Kids and adults are choosing to watch these. We're in this on the YouTube. There's so many other options they can click on. So we're gonna make a full science curriculum. You are third to eighth grade. This includes really cool videos, includes a lot of their favorite YouTubers that they already watch.
Mel Robbins
Oh, my gosh.
Mark Rober
It includes resources for teachers that. It includes really cool demos they can do in class that are very inexpensive. It also adheres to all the science standards. And then we're gonna make it free for all teachers.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Are you kidding me?
Mark Rober
No, it's gonna cost like three. It'll take about three years total. We're about, about a year into it and Yeah, I just feel like teachers specifically, it's like, it's like such a. It's the most, I think, important profession and perhaps the most like underappreciated or under supported profession. So especially to these teachers who are like paying their own money for curriculum, it's like terrible. So it's kind of like, hey, reinforcements are on the way. We got you. We're coming with this really cool thing so that I think will be like the most important thing I do, like my whole life. I'm really excited about it.
Mel Robbins
I can see how emotional it makes you.
Mark Rober
Yeah, I'm really, really excited about that.
Mel Robbins
Why does this bring up so much for you?
Mark Rober
You know, I myself am product of great teachers. My mom.
She, she like passed away like six months before I even made my first YouTube video.
And she didn't even go to like, she barely graduated high school. But like she has had, she's had more impact on my life than anyone by a very comfortable margin. Which honestly I almost think is a beautiful thing where you like never really know the full measure of your life. Like the impact that you have, you know, regardless of what you believe about what happens when we die. Right. I think we can all agree a successful life is one where you leave the world a better place than you found it. Right. And the impact you have on others, you'll just never really know. And I almost think it's beautiful that she had no idea that like, what happened just right after she passed away where I started getting all this reach. And now like I'm trying to reach as many brains as possible. And basically what she did for me and what other great teachers did for me, that's what teachers are. They're seed planters. So if we want to invest in the future of the world, there's big problems coming down the pipeline. Mel, this is an all brains on deck situation, right? It is. So we should be investing in the seed planters, those who are creating the next generation of big problem solvers. And so just this idea of supporting and celebrating them and just saying thank you and also just putting a thumb on the scale that's like, this is a cool profession and people should aspire to be this like my dream job, truly, and I've said this for a decade, is to be like a middle school or high school science teacher. Honestly, I thought by now I would be retired and I would just be doing that as a volunteer. And then what I realized is, like, by the way, I still want to do that. That is still going to be what I do eventually. But I can have more impact using the platform that I have by supporting other teachers in the meantime.
Mel Robbins
Well, you know, I'm so moved.
I didn't think I'd cry talking to you. Honestly, I kept thinking you would be my dream science teacher for my kids. I mean, and I'm sure as you're listening or watching this, you're like, man, I wish Mark was my kid's teacher. And what occurred to me is that your mom is clearly with us and that you actually are the world's science teacher. That is what you're doing. You just happen to have the largest science classroom in the world. No, really?
That's what you're doing?
Mark Rober
Yeah. I mean, I guess it's funny because I don't think about it in those terms. Like, I'm just like, what's the next video I want to make next month? That's exciting to me. And I think that is.
Yeah, I, I kind of think like when people are like, what's your 10 year plan? Especially when they ask kids in middle school or something, it's like, I don't know, like, nobody knows. Like any adult who tells you, like, oh, yeah, I knew I'd be exactly right here in my life 20 years ago. Bull. Like, that's not true. Yeah, like, my philosophy is like, it's like crossing a river and there's some, a bunch of stones on it. Right. You don't necessarily know the right path. But what I can do is I could, I could wiggle the three rocks in front of me and it's like, oh, this is the best rock right here. So I'm gonna hop on this one. And now that I'm on that one, now I could touch my toe out and wiggle the next three.
Mel Robbins
Yeah.
Mark Rober
So my whole thing. And I, I really try this, tell this kids as well. It's like whatever the options are in front of me, okay, I'm going to pick the best one. I'm just going to put everything into this thing. And then once you do that, now suddenly, guess what? Like, four more doors open. And now choose the best one from there. Right? And now, oh, now there's seven more doors. And so like, if you're 15, you don't know what you want to be when you grow up. What, what makes you excited? Do you love to draw? Right Just draw a ton and get as good as you can be. Right. Do you love to write? Well, then just write as much as you can. Right. Talk to other folks, learn more about that. And I just. Like, a life where you just follow your passions is one that just very naturally just feels very, very fulfilling. And so when you say you, hey, you're in a position, you're the world's science teacher, it's like, I don't know. I guess I'm not. I'm not. I'm not looking at that, Mel. I'm looking at the rock in front of me.
Mel Robbins
Yes.
Mark Rober
And then, yeah, sometimes you zoom out and you're like, oh, holy crud. Like, 71 million subscribers. Like, and, like, 20 billion views on science videos. Yeah, that's. That is a lot.
But it's like. I mean, my team will tell you, like, we'll release a video, and they're like, oh, video's great. I'm like, wait, what? I'm already on the next thing. Like, no, we got more work to do.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
I. I want to pause on this.
Mel Robbins
Because I think you actually just shared a story that has the absolute secret to success in it, and that is that if you focus on something that is truly tied to something you deeply care about, and you are also focused on the impact that it can have on somebody else. Right. And so you talked about evoking emotion and setting up a story. We're all like, oh, world's biggest cello thing. This is cool. But you're hiding the vegetables in it. So you've become a master at the craft of teaching science, but you have never lost focus on the one lesson in front of you, the one rock, as you say. And that's the secret, because the second you pick your head up and go, 2 billion views and this, that, and the other thing, you're now no longer looking at the actual thing that you loved doing. You're looking at the wrong data.
Mark Rober
Yeah.
Mel Robbins
Now, here's what we need to do. We need to take a quick break to hear a word from our amazing sponsors. And as you're listening and watching on YouTube, I know you're inspired. If you've got somebody in your life that would love to hear this, please share it. And don't go anywhere, because Mark and I will be right back here waiting for you after this short break. Stay with me.
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Hey, it's your friend Mel, and I just wanted to say thank you.
Mel Robbins
Thank you for listening to a podcast that is helping you feel better and do better and create a better life. Thank you for being so generous with the episodes that make a difference and sharing them with friends and family.
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I also wanted to say thank you.
Mel Robbins
Because we have had an extraordinary year here at the Mel Robbins Podcast.
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Mel Robbins
Third largest podcast in the world and.
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Mel Robbins
That's just extraordina. One of our episodes is the number one shared episode on the planet this year of all podcasts. And we have also received the extraordinary honor of being nominated for the first ever Golden Globe to be awarded for Best Podcast. I am truly humbled by the success of this show and by the impact that it is making in your life and in the lives of the people that you care about. That, to me, is the greatest win of all. One episode at a time. You and I are learning. We're feeling better.
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Mel Robbins
And that's how you and I together have become a global force for good, creating positive change. Thank you.
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Welcome back.
Mel Robbins
It's your buddy, Mel Robbins. And today you and I are learning simple tools and frameworks that will change the way you live. Make decisions, be happier. From the incredible Mark Rober, the most popular science creator and educator in the world, let's talk about failure. Because you've built your career on experiments, and at the very beginning, you said that there is a framework that you could teach us about failing and getting excited about failing. And I gotta be honest with you, I'm not excited about failing. Mark.
Mark Rober
Yeah. So I think what I found over time is like, you know, this started the first time I noticed this was trying to make a dart board where you get a bullseye every time where you could throw a dart, it would track the dart through the air, it would predict where it would land, and then it would move the dart board in 400 milliseconds.
Mel Robbins
No way.
Mark Rober
That's less than a blink of an eye.
Mel Robbins
Wow.
Mark Rober
And that video took me three years to build that. And there were a lot of setbacks, Mel. There was a lot of moments where it's like, oh, we thought this would work, but it doesn't. And what I realized is at no part in any of that was I like, I'm a failure. This is the worst. I want to give up. It's almost like with each setback, I was more and more determined. I learned one more way not to do it. And what I realized is it's like a video game, okay? I call this the Super Mario effect, okay? In any video game, there's an objective or a goal. Like you have to rescue the princess from the castle or get a certain amount of points. But there's obstacles in that way. There might be pits, there might be bad guys. And if you die, you go back to the beginning and you just keep trying. And over time, you get better and better and you learn to avoid the obstacles. Better and better. You know, Super Mario Brothers, you're just trying to pass the level. And on that level, there's pits that you could fall into. There's sliding green turtle shells. There's lots of ways that you could die. But no one ever picks up that controller for the first time and falls into a pit and is like, I'm such a failure. Like, I'm an idiot. How embarrassing. I'd never want to play this again. No. Instead you're like, oh, crud. Okay, there's a pit there. I got to remember that next time, I'm going to come a little faster. I'm going to jump a little earlier. Right? And so by having this attitude toward failure, by focusing on rescuing the princess from the. From the castle, the focus is on the princess. And the goal in mind, you focus on the win, right? You're focused. You're not focused on the failures. And that doesn't mean it doesn't sting. Right. On level 8 1, there's this huge pit you have to jump over and land on this tiny little platform. It's really hard to do. And you've made it all the way there. And then you die. And it stings, Mel. It still hurts. It's not this Paulien attitude of like, oh, well, everything's good.
Mel Robbins
Well, and even the sound at the end when you die is like, oh.
Mark Rober
Right. It's very sad, even the sound, but it stings. You're immediately like, what did I learn? Now I'm going to try this again, because I now know one more way not to attempt that jump.
Mel Robbins
You know, in case you're not the kind of person that has ever played video games in your life, let me try to just explain why this is so relevant to life. When Mark talks about a level in a video game, this is basically a psychological gym that you're entering. So you start the game and you're entering a challenge. You're gonna fail, and then you figure something out, and then you try again, and then you fail again and again and again. If you keep going, you eventually beat the level. And what's cool about the metaphor of a video game is that's resilience. That's what we need in life. Life is one big level, and it's gonna have setbacks, trial and error. You're gonna get stuck. There's gonna be obstacles in your way, you're gonna have unexpected enemies, and you either are gonna get to a point where you're so frustrated you quit and throw your hands in the air, or you keep playing how do you use this when a lot of the failing that people need to do is in front of other people? Or you might get negative feedback, or people might comment on your video, or you might look stupid at work? Do you see what I'm saying? What would you say to the person that, okay, I can do that with a video game, but I still can't talk at work?
Mark Rober
I think we. We overestimate the negative impact on failure and underestimate our ability to handle it when we're imagining towards the future of this failure thing. And I think it's a repetition thing. Like, I get that I hate public speaking, and it's a goal of mine right now. It's one of my Super Mario level things I'm working on. And what I'm finding is just the more reps I do it, the more times I do it, you do normalize to it.
Mel Robbins
Yeah.
Mark Rober
So I think, like, I get that fear, and I recognize that it is different when you're in front of other people. But it's one of those things that just, like, you just. It's exposure therapy and fail small in front of small groups of people, and then you can eventually fail bigger and bigger. But even still, like, I will say, this framework really does help. You know, I'll have videos that will bomb, and they'll be a 10 out of my last 10. Like, and it stings. It's like falling in that pit. But it's like, oh, you know what, though? This kind of makes sense because we started a little differently and we did it this way. And so immediately, just the way my brain works. And that's a big failure, Mel. In front of a lot of people.
Mel Robbins
Yeah.
Mark Rober
And it stinks for a day. But immediately, the way the framework works is I'm like, what did I learn from that? And I call that thinking like an engineer. Meaning, like, you know, to get the rover on Mars, we tested so many things because you just don't know. And no one. If you. If you have a test that fails at NASA for a landing strut, no one's like, oh, you're a failure. It's like, oh, great, now we know the limits of what this thing can do, so let's redesign it. Right. As an engineer, this is just how you think. Like, if you are not failing, that's a problem. Yeah, right. Like, you need to be testing the limits to understand. Like, if you're being so conservative on everything, you have no idea how much bigger and cooler this thing could be. Right. Each time you fail, you are Learning something, you're learning one more way not to do it. So I think if they can approach it that way and find the positivity in the fail and the learning in the fail, then it gives it a purpose.
Mel Robbins
You just gave me a huge aha moment as a mom. And I want, as you're listening or watching, I want you to steal this. I want you to use this with every single gamer in your life. Because I think one of the things that I got very wrong is you tend to attack the gaming because you think the person in your life who's good at gaming or loves gaming is avoiding life by gaming. And I just realized I missed a huge opportunity as a parent because Oakley was only gaming as much as he was because he was good at it. And he was doing it because he was doing it with his friends. And he was doing it because he was learning these incredible skills that you're talking about thinking like an engineer, tinkering, experimenting, failing, starting over, the resilience, the get back and go, the building that muscle over and over and over and over again. It's evidence that they have resilience. It's evidence that they can experiment and fail and learn. It's evidence that they can figure it.
Mark Rober
Out, trying it and then learning.
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Mark Rober
And by the way, you shouldn't just nail it right out of the gate. Like, I think that's what people expect, right? Well, if I'm good at it. You don't expect that in a video game. Why would you expect that in life? Like, you learn a lot more in failure sometimes, especially with kids, than just by succeeding at a thing.
Mel Robbins
You know, one of the things that I would love to have you speak to for the person who's listening or watching, who's scared to try something new because they don't want to mess up, they don't want to look cringy, you know, they're worried about what their friends are going to think. Like, what is your message to somebody who's like, on that precipice, knowing they want to grow and change, but are actively talking themselves out?
Mark Rober
I would say start small and make your goal to fail.
Mel Robbins
What do you mean, make your goal to fail?
Mark Rober
I just went through this myself, Mel, where it's like, I like to play chess occasionally. And I found like I wasn't playing chess because I felt like if I lost somehow I would internalize it. Something about me, this is like playing online and I'm like, what am I doing? So I made a goal that I want to lose 10 games what?
Mel Robbins
I love this.
Mark Rober
This was my goal.
Mel Robbins
Do you know I'm starting to learn chess? Oh, really? I feel really stupid. And so I played once with Oakley. He smashed me. And then I'm like, okay, like, I don't want to play with anybody else because I don't want to look dumb. So it's your goal to lose 10 times in a row?
Mark Rober
10 times or just 10 times? Like, in a. Like, that's. It doesn't necessarily need to be in a row, but it's like, hey, I'm going to play these games. And like, I check a box, I win when I fail this many times. And that just resets everything, right? And it totally worked for me because now I exposed myself to losing more, and now I don't even think about it. And I love. I don't internalize it as a negative thing. And now I'm enjoying and playing way more chess. So, like, if you're nervous about speaking up at work, you know, if you're. Maybe it's public speaking, dating an interview. It could be dating an interview. Maybe you love to draw and you want to make a YouTube video talking about it. Just make your goal, let's say for the YouTube case, just to make 10 videos. Don't think anything about views. Don't think anything about any sort of metrics.
Mel Robbins
Go for zero views.
Mark Rober
Yeah, go for zero views. Right? Like, your W is just getting it up and starting to flex that muscle. And it's just like anything in life. It's exposure therapy. And the more you're. You're exposed to it, the better you get. You build those muscles, right? It's just like training in a gym. Those muscles get stronger, you get more adapted to it, and then you look back at where you were a year ago, and you're like, oh, man, I can't believe I was ever worried about this.
Mel Robbins
Well, here's what's genius about that, Mark, is that I think there's a lot of talk about how failure should be the thing we go for, but what you just did with that framework is you said, no, the goal is to fail. Yeah, I love that. It's so subtle, but it's a really genius way to do it.
Mark Rober
Just get the pressure off yourself and. And understand that will happen. And don't try and avoid that thing.
Mel Robbins
I love this. Mark, you are so amazing, and I just could talk to you for days. But I gotta take a quick pause so I can give our amazing sponsors a chance to share a few words. And I also wanna give you a chance to share this episode and conversation with people that you care about. Because I bet you're just like me. As you're listening to Mark, you're thinking about people in your life that would love this. And coming up, Mark is gonna unpack his framework for happiness and you don't wanna miss this, so stay with me.
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Mel Robbins
Welcome back. It's your buddy Mel Robbins. And today, you and I are learning simple frameworks that will change the way you think and live. I love this. I bet you're loving it. From the incredible Mark Rober, the number one science creator and educator in the world. So, Mark, one of the things that is just your genius is that you make science and learning and failing so fun and humor and silliness is kind of part of the formula. I know that you brought something to show us.
Mark Rober
Oh, yeah. So here's an example of just a very simple demo. I'll pull up. That's down here.
Mel Robbins
Okay. So he's reaching down right now. If you're not watching on YouTube, but you're probably gonna want to watch this on YouTube at some point, you've got a. Oh, you got a hairdryer.
Mark Rober
Yes. This is a simple hairdryer you'd have at home. And just a ping pong ball.
Mel Robbins
Yeah.
Mark Rober
Okay, so what I'm going to do, Mel, I'm going to turn this on.
And the ping pong ball is levitating in this hair dryer. But even as you twist it left and right, it, like, magically stays in the airflow.
Odoo Sponsor Voice
Right.
Mark Rober
So this is a principle called the coanda effect. Essentially, what's happening is it's creating, like, a little low pressure bubble for the ball to float in. That's why even at a side angle like this, it's still floating. This is what the principle behind what makes curveballs curve in baseball. It's like the same kind of principle of, like, air flowing around the side to create little bubbles.
Mel Robbins
Oh. Cause the air is coming straight up and out of the hairdryer. But when it hits the. The mass of the ball, it goes up on the sides of it, so it's almost like cupping it with the fluid that is air. I'm learning.
Mark Rober
It's exactly it, Mel. Wow. You explained that so well. But what's so great, like, that's like such a simple demo of, like, Harry Potter levitation. Right. I mean, you literally look.
You know, like a wizard, just like, hovering this Thing, and it's just. This is junk you have lying around your house. So it's like a demo. That explains it. That's really cool. That's very approachable. Right. This isn't some fancy scientific instruments. A ping pong ball and a hairdresser.
Mel Robbins
Yes.
Mark Rober
Here's another one that I think will work well on a podcast.
Mel Robbins
Okay.
Mark Rober
I've got a cup.
Mel Robbins
You've got, like, a little, like, plastic cup like you see in backyard barbecue.
Mark Rober
Yeah. Like those red solo cups. There's just a normal string here.
Mel Robbins
Yeah, it's just a white string that you've tied to the. You've punched a hole at the end.
Mark Rober
So it's poked through the end of the bottom of the cup. And then I have a little bit of a. In fact, I'm gonna dip this in my water here.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Okay.
Mark Rober
This is just a paper towel.
Mel Robbins
Yep. Nothing fancy.
Mark Rober
And what's interesting now is I'm gonna try and make a chicken sound. You tell me if this sounds like.
Mel Robbins
A chicken sound with a plastic cup and a string and a wet paper towel.
Mark Rober
See if you believe it. Ready? Here we go.
Mel Robbins
That's exactly what that sounds like.
Mark Rober
So all we're doing with this little cup and making a little chicken demo is there's vibrations. As the friction on the string rubs against the paper towel, it vibrates the bottom of this cup. It's a diaphragm. It's like a drum. And then it's amplified through the cup so it becomes like a little speaker. In other words, if I take this same string and I rub it without the cup, what you would expect to hear what I anticipate happening.
You just don't hear much. You kind of hear it, but it doesn't have that amplification. Because what's happening with the bottom of this cup is as I vibrate.
Pushes all the air molecules that are up against the bottom of this cup, it pushes them out, and they bonk into other air molecules, and they keep bonking until it hits your eardrum. And it just. It registers those movements of molecules bumping in your eardrum, and we call that sound. And if it's a high frequency, that means the bumping happens more frequently. So, you know, if it's a high frequency, a high pitch, that's just like the bumping happening.
Mel Robbins
Faster, faster. Okay.
Mark Rober
If it's a low frequency, the bumping is happening less frequently. We call that a low frequency.
Mel Robbins
So does this also explain why if you.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
My kid.
Mel Robbins
My kid Oakley showed me this. If you need a speaker and you don't have one. You can stick your phone in a cup and play it in a cup and then the cup amplifies it.
Mark Rober
That's exactly it. That's right. It concentrates the air molecules all pushing together in the same direction to eventually hit your ear. So just simple little demos like that, where it's like, I could have tried to explain that with words, but if you can viscerally get your hands on it, and it's not a complicated thing, it's not a complicated set. Those are the w. Those are the moments where I think you create more Aha. Moments.
Mel Robbins
I love that. So how would you recommend that the person who's listening or watching right now apply the fun and the curiosity to. Toward their own goals in life?
Mark Rober
Curiosity is actually. And like, creativity and curiosity are like, that's a muscle that can be developed. I do think some people are just born more naturally curious and probably born a little bit more naturally creative. But there's a huge middle ground. The research shows this. We've worked a lot with Dr. Adam Green from Georgetown, and you can actually measure, you know, your brain using the out. If you measure the alpha brain waves, that's highly correlated to creative problem solving, creative thinking. So you can measure this with an ekg. And what he found is that it's a muscle.
Mel Robbins
Creativity is a muscle.
Mark Rober
Yes. The more time you spend in that space, the more comfortable with you you are with it, the more quickly your brain goes to that spot.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Huh.
Mark Rober
So it's kind of like this idea of like a mind frame of just like viewing the world through a lens of curiosity. Viewing the world through a lens of like, huh? Why is that? Right? Like, the most. The best words to hear in science aren't like, eureka. I discovered it. Like, the best words that lead to the most scientific breakthrough is like, huh. I wonder why that happened. Like, it starts with an observation. You're like, that was unexpected.
Mel Robbins
When we first sat down, you talked about frameworks for understanding yourself and what you value and for really.
Being happier, authentically happier. What have you learned about happiness?
Mark Rober
So in engineering, we call it first principles approach. Like, if you're trying to go to Mars, start from a very first principle. What are the basic fundamentals that you need to know? How much energy do you need to get there? What are just basic building blocks? And I think for happiness, there's some basic building blocks that intuitively I've really tried to maintain as life has gotten crazier. And that comes down to relationships and living according to what my personal values are. Right. Being value driven and like having a goal of what is my impact in this world and what is the reason I'm here. So, like, being motivated intrinsically by like those types of things and not letting all this other.
Stuff be a distraction. I think a lot of people have to buy their fancy things to realize, like, oh, that wasn't what actually brings happiness. And I have this, you know, Mr. Beast is a buddy of mine. He's another YouTuber and him and I have this debate a lot. His thing is like, oh, you can either be really successful or you can be happy, right? Like, you can't, you can't be both. And there's many decisions I've made that sort of would have helped me have more reach or would have meant that I could have more money or have more whatever, but I don't want to just have this flash in the pan and go really hard and just totally burn out. If you do that, then you spike back down to nothing. But if you just sort of build one step at a time, happiness is found by just like incremental level ups, just little hits of dopamine, right? Of just like, oh, I got a little bit better. Oh, I got a little bit better. And I think in life I've really tried to, like, we could have 500 employees and have all this venture capital and do all this stuff, but like, I've pushed against all that and I'm just like, I just, if I want to reach as many brains as possible, the right way to do it is just, we're just little by little we're going to creep up to this thing. And as a result, like, I've never gotten burnt out on YouTube. And I would say, like, I'm more stoked now than I have been in 15 years.
Mel Robbins
I think the way that I would relate to it is there were periods.
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Of my life, especially when we were.
Mel Robbins
Struggling financially, where I thought the secret to happiness was going to be a different car or a nicer handbag or the ability to go on a nicer vacation with my kids. You might be, as you're listening or watching in this moment in your life where you're so focused on chasing the weight on the scale or the figure in the bank account or the house in a certain neighborhood, because you think that solves all your problems. And I actually thought it would.
Mark Rober
I think the good news is, like, if you this is something that resonates and you struggle with, there is a very good solution for it. And the anecdote to this feeling of like needing and chasing that dopamine, getting the next thing is gratitude. So, you know, this is why sometimes you hear, like, having a gratitude journal or, like, before you go to bed each night, like, literally writing down three things that happened that day that you were grateful for. Because at any one time, incredible amounts of both abundance and scarcity exist in our world. It just depends on which. Which one you want to focus on. Right. You know, and so I, when I find myself in this thing and feeling down that, like, I. I should be doing better, I should be having more. The. The reset is like, man, look at what I have in my life. And almost a hack for this. If you're still struggling to be grateful, imagine, take something away, say, like, a partner or someone that means a lot to you. How would you feel? And like, that is a good reset of, like, why am I worrying about what I'm going to bring to the potluck on Friday and stressing over this in my life? That is such a small problem compared to what it could be. Right. And I think it's a reset then of, like, when you come home. And at the end of the day, I think relationships do matter, and I think the research bears this out. Right. Happiness is correlated to, like, the quality of the relationships in your life. And for me, I find that to be as true as well. So then it's like, well, then I shouldn't be on my phone when I come home. And if at work I'm in this hyper optimization mode and I get stuff done and I have people around me. When you get home, you need to flip that and you need to not be efficient with your kids. Like, the phone goes down and your goal should be flipped. I need to be as inefficient as possible. Right. I'm going to read this book four times. I'm not going to skip the pages. I'm going to sit here and play this thing with them. Your goal when you get home should be be as inefficient as you possibly can. And that will yield the best results for fostering a child that feels like they're being raised in this loving environment, especially with all the distractions we have today.
Mel Robbins
I think that's the best parenting advice I've heard in a very long time. No, I mean it. Because part of why we're so stressed out, I'll just speak for myself, is we're optimizing for efficiency and productivity as parents.
Mark Rober
Yeah.
Mel Robbins
And we need to do the opposite. Because kids need your presence and your attention. They don't need to jam 50,000 things into the next 15 minutes.
Mark Rober
Yeah. When they're telling that story that's very long winded, and they're going over and over and repeating like, I want to be like, yeah, yeah, get to the point. Like, what happened.
Mel Robbins
Right? Yes.
Mark Rober
That's not the point. The end of the punchline of their story is not the point. Your undivided attention and showing that they matter. That's the point.
Mel Robbins
I want to make sure that as you were listening or watching that you did not miss the rock solid piece of gold that Mark dropped in the middle of the story about gratitude. Because if I think back to some of the hardest moments in my life, those moments where you're like, life is unfair. I suck. The world sucks. Everyone around me sucks. I've really blown it. And those moments happen to all of us. If I had had the negative.
Gratitude piece of advice that you just dropped on us, okay, Even in the worst moment, think about removing somebody you love.
Even though I was a complete jerk and constantly angry at Chris when we were almost a million dollars in debt.
There'S not a second that I wish he was gone. And so if you have something in your life that you don't want to lose, then you have something to be grateful for. And that helps you start where you are. And it helps remind you of what you actually value. How.
As an adult, because adults get stuck. And you can get really stuck in the story that you're telling yourself that whether it's a story, I don't know what I want, or it's too late for me, or I've screwed up so many times I don't even know what direction to turn. How do you use some of these principles? Whether we're talking about the alpha brainwaves or we're talking about the kind of question prompts that naturally make your imagination go. How would you recommend that somebody who does feel very stalled in life or feels stuck in life and doesn't feel creative and doesn't feel innovative and can't even imagine something bigger or better than where they're at right now, how do you start to change that story? How do you lean into what might be possible?
Mark Rober
So if someone's feeling stuck and not excited, not creative, what. What is the one thing in your life, even if it's super small, that even gets you a little bit excited? Maybe it's you love flowers and gardening, like. Or you. I shouldn't say love. Maybe you kind of like it and it's kind of even slightly interesting to you, right? Lean into that, going back to, like, crossing the river. But start small and then go from there, treating it as an opportunity to learn and to get better and to optimize. If you ever played Zelda, if you ever played any game, if you've ever gone on to accomplish something great, just remember what that was like. It started small, and you most likely were excited about the process. So what can you do to hide the vegetables for yourself? And then it's exciting because you feel like you're getting better. Failure has purpose, right? You embrace the failure as the quickest way to get to something amazing.
Mel Robbins
The thing that I would also add is that in every one of your experiments and every one of your videos, in everything that you've done, you did not hold open the possibility that you wouldn't eventually get there. And so there is also this faith involved where you say, if I keep going, if I'm willing to learn, I am going to figure this out and this is going to work out for me.
Mark Rober
But I will say with a caveat.
Mel Robbins
Yes.
Mark Rober
That it may look different than I thought it would look.
Mel Robbins
Mark, what are your parting words?
Mark Rober
I just. I feel. I feel grateful to be here sitting across the table from you, Mel. To have these values and these things that you care about, to, like, share it with a bunch of people is like, even if you're not sharing it with a bunch of people, just like, to be able to move the needle in a way you think is beneficial for the world on any scale is incredible. And to do it on this scale, sitting across from you is like, dream come true.
Mel Robbins
Well, the feeling's mutual. I'm a huge fan. You're so much better in real life, and you're pretty fantastic in what you do. I just. On behalf of absolutely everybody who will listen to this, I want to thank you for the gift that you are to the world. And you know what? I'm also so happy that you're here. Thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing this with the people that you care about. Thank you for listening to something that is going to help you create a better life. There is no doubt in my mind that everything that Mark taught us today is going to help you make changes, take risks, be more resilient, have a curious mindset. I just love this. I cannot wait for my kids to listen to this. I can't wait to share this with people. And one more thing I want to tell you, in case no one else tells you, I wanted to be sure to tell you, as your friend, that I love you. And I believe in you. And I believe in your ability to create a better life. And I know that everything that Mark shared with us today is exactly what you need to do that. Alrighty. I will be waiting for you in the very next episode. I'll welcome you in the moment you hit play.
I want you to go like this because you have a little bit of water in your nose.
Mark Rober
I'm rubber, you're glue. You're amazing, Mel. Thank you, Data.
Mel Robbins
Yeah, Data. Data.
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Mel Robbins
I must say it in the stupider way. Tomatoes.
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Tomatoes.
Mel Robbins
Here we go. Is that good? Okay, great. I love this. All right, we've got to bring in. I've got to go to the bathroom. You are. Oh.
Oh, my God. I love you. I'm just. I keep bathing.
Mark Rober
Yeah, yeah. Great, great, great. I knew you were gonna make me cry. Mel. Damn it.
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Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know what the lawyers write and.
Mel Robbins
What I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist. And this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a.
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Physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it?
Mel Robbins
Good. I'll see you in the next episode.
Mark Rober
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Episode Date: December 11, 2025
Host: Mel Robbins
Guest: Mark Rober (Engineer, Science Creator, YouTuber)
This inspiring episode explores “The Life Experiment Theory,” a simple but transformative framework that changes how you approach failure, creativity, decision-making, and happiness. Mel Robbins sits down with renowned science creator and engineer Mark Rober, who shares hard-won insights from his extraordinary career at NASA, Apple, and as a YouTube educator with over 71 million subscribers. Through vibrant stories, practical advice, and heartfelt moments, Mark outlines how thinking like an engineer can help anyone build a better, more resilient, and more joyful life.
"Viewing failure in a way that it doesn't mean you are a failure, but you can. It almost flips it where it's exciting..." — Mark Rober [07:07]
"I personally love frameworks because it feels then like the things I need to do feel a little less arduous..." — Mel Robbins [07:36]
"I worked on the jetpack that lowers it to the ground and then some hardware on the top deck of the rover...it's still working to this day." — Mark Rober [08:48]
"The videos are all explaining super cool things, mostly about science, generally..." — Mel Robbins [10:54]
"You just have to evoke a visceral response. In other words, has to make them laugh. They have to, you know, feel excited. They just have to feel something." — Mark Rober [12:05]
"I can't teach you if I don't have your attention. So by teaching science in this way, via spectacle...I hide the vegetables." — Mark Rober [16:15]
"We're gonna make a full science curriculum...and we're gonna make it free for all teachers." — Mark Rober [17:18]
"She has had more impact on my life than anyone by a very comfortable margin...you never really know the full measure of your life." — Mark Rober [18:31]
"No one ever picks up that controller for the first time and falls into a pit and is like, I'm such a failure...Instead you're like, oh, crud. Okay, there's a pit there." — Mark Rober [30:41]
"As an engineer, this is just how you think. Like, if you are not failing, that's a problem." — Mark Rober [34:48]
"Make your goal to fail...That just resets everything, right? And it totally worked for me." — Mark Rober [36:32]
"You can actually measure, you know, your brain using the out. If you measure the alpha brain waves, that's highly correlated to creative problem solving..." — Mark Rober [47:41]
"There's some basic building blocks that intuitively I've really tried to maintain...that comes down to relationships and living according to what my personal values are." — Mark Rober [48:30]
"But if you just sort of build one step at a time, happiness is found by just like incremental level ups...I'm more stoked now than I have been in 15 years." — Mark Rober [50:27]
"At any one time, incredible amounts of both abundance and scarcity exist in our world. It just depends on which one you want to focus on." — Mark Rober [51:29]
"Your goal when you get home should be be as inefficient as you possibly can. And that will yield the best results for fostering a child that feels like they're being raised in this loving environment." — Mark Rober [53:46]
“What is the one thing in your life, even if it’s super small, that even gets you a little bit excited?...Start small and go from there.” — Mark Rober [56:31]
“I will say with a caveat...that it may look different than I thought it would look.” — Mark Rober [57:56]
If you share this episode or its ideas, you’ll be helping inspire resilience, curiosity, and confidence—in yourself and in others.