wavePod

The Reset You Need: How to Transform Your Life at Any Moment - The Mel Robbins Podcast | Wave AI Podcast Notes

The Reset You Need: How to Transform Your Life at Any Moment

Mon Dec 08 2025

If you’ve been feeling the itch for something more in life: a new chapter, a new dream, a new version of yourself – this episode is your green light. It is a guide to how you can transform your life at any moment. Today, Mel sits down with her friend Hoda Kotb. Hoda, more than anyone else, will prove to you that reinvention is something you CAN do. In her twenties and thirties, she climbed the ranks in newsrooms across the country and refused to quit until she landed one of the most coveted jobs in the world, a co-anchor of the Today Show. In her forties she became a breast cancer survivor, in her fifties she adopted her daughters and became a mother for the first time, and at sixty, she walked away from the peak of her career to launch a brand-new business with no prior experience. Every single time life whispered, “It’s too late for you,” Hoda said, “No, it’s not. Watch me.” The wisdom she is sharing, directly with you, will prove that it's not too late – you can rein...

Summary

The Mel Robbins Podcast

Episode: The Reset You Need: How to Transform Your Life at Any Moment

Date: December 8, 2025
Host: Mel Robbins
Guest: Hoda Kotb

Episode Overview

In this profoundly inspiring episode, Mel Robbins sits down with her close friend and acclaimed journalist Hoda Kotb to explore the powerful, universal truth that it’s never too late to reinvent your life. Packed with deeply personal stories, actionable tools, and life-changing wisdom, the conversation guides listeners through what it takes to hit reset at any moment, stop settling for “good enough,” and walk toward bigger possibilities—regardless of age, fear, or circumstance. Hoda opens up about the many pivotal moments of change throughout her decades-long career and personal life, offering a behind-the-scenes look at what it means to choose courage over comfort, speak your true desires out loud, and become a beginner again—no matter your stage of life.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Myth of "Too Late": Reinvention at Any Age

Hoda’s Mantra: “It’s not too late. You can reinvent your life at any moment. You can figure out what you want, and you’re also capable of creating it.” (Mel Robbins, 00:09)
Hoda’s personal reinventions across decades:
- 20s/30s: Climbed through local newsrooms to Today Show anchor.
- 40s: Beat breast cancer.
- 50s: Adopted two daughters.
- 60s: Left Today Show to launch a new tech business.
Key Insight: No matter your story or age, you are capable of radical change.

2. “Good Enough is Not Enough” – Breaking Out of Settling

Hoda distinguishes between being grateful for the present and recognizing when you deserve more.
- “Good enough is not enough. And I’m not saying be constantly dissatisfied… I’ve been satisfied in my day-to-day… But I can also look ahead and go, okay, I feel like I’m worth more than what I have right here.” (Hoda, 12:04)
Mel’s Summary: “Is how I feel about myself, how I feel in this relationship, how I feel in this job, is that good enough? … That is where the shift has to happen.” (Mel Robbins, 13:46)
Encourages deep self-reflection about core needs and whether current circumstances truly honor them.

3. Self-Inventory Exercise – The “Time Pie”

Hoda shares a practical tool for clarity: writing down the slices of your life proportional to the energy you devote.
- “My friend Rhea Shriver… said, 'I want you to get a piece of paper and cut it up in a bunch of pieces… On each piece, write down a part of your life that requires your time…' By the time it was done… she goes: that's your life. Do you like it?” (Hoda, 15:40)
Helps visualize and re-prioritize time to better match your values and desires.

4. Permission to Want More—And Say it Out Loud

The crucial first step: daring to articulate your deepest desire, even if it feels impossible.
- Hoda’s story: Adopting children at 51 after years of suppressing the dream of motherhood.
  - “One day I was in my 50s… walking down the beach with a friend. I said, ‘Actually, Jen, I kind of always did’ [want kids]… She goes, ‘But you’ve never said that.’” (Hoda, 22:32)
Quote: “We bury things and I think it’s good to unearth them and give them a go.” (Hoda, 26:16)
Speaking desire opens the door to possibility and invites unexpected synchronicities.

5. Overcoming the Fear of Disappointment

Mel: “The thought that I would allow myself to want it and it wouldn’t happen feels too painful.” (Mel, 30:02)
Hoda: “Then you have the life you have now. Nothing’s changed. You just spoke it out loud." (Hoda, 30:21)
Taking a risk on growth is better than a life suppressed by fear.

6. Taking Action: Small, Sustained Steps

Hoda’s “30 for 30” method—30 minutes a day for 30 days exploring your new idea or path.
- “When you’re done, you have 900 minutes clocked… you know whether you want to open that coffee shop…” (Hoda, 70:04)
You don’t have to leap blindly; incremental, intentional effort leads to clarity and real change.

7. Daily Journaling Prompts for Clarity

Each morning, Hoda uses four prompts to check in:
1. What does my body need?
2. What does my intellect need?
3. What do my emotions need?
4. What does my spirit need?
  (Hoda, 70:04)
Simple, honest self-inventory creates a mini-roadmap for the day and helps surface unaddressed needs.

8. The Power of Mindset & Language

Stories affect outcomes: “Good things keep happening to me.” (Hoda, 56:45)
Maria Shriver’s Language Shift: “You’re not lost, you’re seeking… language matters.” (Hoda, 59:41)
Changing thought patterns from defeatist to possibility-oriented primes you to see and seize opportunity.

9. The Value of Not Quitting: The 27 NOs Story

Hoda recounts her odyssey of being rejected for jobs 27 times before one person, Stan, gave her a chance.
- “If all you’ve gotten are nos, then you haven’t met your one Stan yet. And as long as you don’t quit, you can’t lose.” (Mel, 54:07)

10. Reframing Fear—You Can’t Scare Me

Hoda’s battle with breast cancer changed her perception of what’s truly frightening and possible.
- “I popped up out of bed and I was like, Oh my God, you can’t scare me.” (Hoda, 85:33)
“Don’t hog your journey. It’s not just for you. …You can put your stuff deep in your pockets and take it to your grave, or you can help somebody.” (Hoda, 82:24)
Radical openness and sharing can birth new opportunities—for yourself and others.

11. Becoming a Beginner Again

Launching Joy 101, her wellness tech start-up, at 61, Hoda embraces “beginner’s energy.”
- “Be a beginner again. I’m 61 years old and I’m a beginner again… Being a beginner again is one of the finest feelings in the world.” (Hoda, 89:56)
- Mel: “Pursuing something interesting is what makes you interesting… it’s worth it because you’re opening the door to bigger possibilities.” (Mel, 92:19)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On settling:
- “Good enough is not enough.” (Hoda, 11:07)
On opening the door to possibility:
- “The most important thing to do is to tell yourself that it’s possible and believe it… the only reason I have been successful… is because deep down inside, I knew it was gonna work.” (Hoda, 93:47)
On the power of a single “yes”:
- “You just need your one. If you have one… If you don’t quit, you can’t lose.” (Hoda, 54:07)
On regret:
- “You’ll be marching off… and now I’m 90… what was I thinking? I could have gone, could have changed. Yes, but it moves too quickly, so it’s like a stop down.” (Hoda, 16:50)
On possibility and fear:
- “On the other side of fear is the thing that you want… Once you climb the mountain on the other side, you’re like, Oh my God, why was I down there?” (Hoda, 88:42)

Important Segments & Timestamps

Hoda’s story of reinvention across decades: [00:09 – 06:36]
“Good Enough is Not Enough” and mindset shift: [08:45 – 13:46]
The “Time Pie” self-inventory exercise: [15:40 – 17:27]
Giving yourself permission—speaking desires out loud: [22:30 – 30:26]
On quitting and the power of one “yes” (27 NOs): [48:37 – 54:33]
Daily journaling prompts for clarity: [70:04 – 72:47]
“30 for 30” action method: [70:04 – 72:47]
On fear, sharing your story, and “You can’t scare me”: [80:30 – 85:55]
Beginner’s mindset in her 60s: [89:56 – 93:47]
Closing advice—believing in possibility: [93:47 – 95:28]

Special Segment: The Power of Pause

(Sponsored by Celebrity Cruises) [98:02 – 101:50]

Mel leads listeners through “box breathing” (inhale-hold-exhale for 4 seconds each).
- “Let’s take a breath… when was the last time you did that? …Nothing good grows in chaos. You want clarity? Make space.” (Mel, 99:08)
The importance of making space, slowing down, and allowing clarity to emerge.

Takeaways & Action Steps

Stop the train. Take a step back and ask yourself: “Is how I feel in my life good enough?”
Articulate your real desires. Even if it’s just a whisper to yourself, say it out loud.
Experiment with Hoda’s self-inventory prompts each morning:
1. What does my body need?
2. What does my intellect need?
3. What do my emotions need?
4. What does my spirit need?
Try the “30 for 30” method: 30 minutes a day for 30 days exploring a new possibility.
Change your mindset: Shift your self-talk to “It is possible for me.”
Be a beginner again. Don’t let age or experience keep you from starting something new.
Don’t quit. Remember, all you need is one “yes.”

Closing Words

“It’s never too late, you’re not too old, and everything, everything, everything happens right on time.”
– Hoda Kotb (95:11)

This episode is a must-listen for anyone on the brink of reinvention, those searching for more, or anyone who needs proof that new beginnings have no expiration date. Hoda Kotb shows—by example and encouragement—that by opening the door to possibility, taking small brave steps, and refusing to quit, anyone can transform their life.

Share this episode with someone you care about who needs to hear: IT’S NOT TOO LATE.

Loading summary...

Transcript

Mel Robbins (0:00)

Hey, it's your friend Mel. And welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast.

Mel Robbins (0:09)

Our guest today and the conversation you're about to hear proves there is a bigger possibility waiting for you in life. It's not too late. You can reinvent your life at any moment. You can figure out what you want, and you're also capable of creating it. My very close friend Hoda Kotb is here to talk about reinvention. And I've been waiting for this moment since I started this show. Hoda, more than anyone else, will prove to you that reinvention is something you can do. In her 20s and 30s, Hoda climbed the ranks in newsrooms across the country and refused to quit until she landed one of the most coveted jobs in the world, a co anchor slot on the Today show. In her 40s, she became a breast cancer survivor. In her 50s, she adopted her daughters and became a mother for the first time. At 60, at the peak of her career, she walked away from it all to launch a brand new tech business with no prior experience. Every single time life told Hoda, it's too late, she said, no, it's not. Watch me. The wisdom she is sharing directly with you will prove that it's not too late. You can reinvent your life right now. She's gonna walk you step by step through how she did it over and over and over again. She will teach you how to gain clarity when you don't really know what you want. She'll show you how to stop closing the door on bigger possibilities that are waiting for you. How to keep going when other people say you're not good enough. And how to truly start to believe that you do deserve more. This is one of those conversations that is gonna hit you like a freight train. You're in the right place at the right time. And I promise you, this is exactly what you need to hear.

Mel Robbins (2:07)

Oh, I wanna give you a quick heads up. There's a special segment later in this episode. Oh, my gosh. You need to hear it because it's about taking a pause, a real pause, and why it matters more than you think. So stick around so we can take a pause together. This special segment is sponsored by our friends at Celebrity Cruises. We've all been there. You put on foundation. Look in the mirror an hour later and it's caked into every crease, drying you out. And it's not quite the right shade. L' Oreal Paris Trumatch foundation unlocks your precise match from its Incredible range of 47 shades formulated with hyaluronic acid. It hydrates and locks in moisture for all skin types, including sensitive and mature skin. 99% find their true match and so can you by visiting l'orealparisusa.com mymatch because you're worth it. Okay buddy, Got your notebooks? Yep. Lunchbox?

Hoda Kotb (3:05)

Yep. Homework, homework, double checking. Good call. Just like Getting AT&T's best deal on the all new iPhone 17 Pro designed to be the most powerful iPhone yet. Learn how new and existing customers can get the all new iPhone 17 Pro on us with eligible iPhone trade in any condition. Most expensive plan not required at and T connecting changes everything requires trade in of iPhone 13 or higher excluding iPhone 13 mini terms and restrictions apply, subject to change. Visit att.comiphone for details.

Hoda Kotb (22:32)

Whatever your thing is. For me, one of the things that was missing in my life that I did not believe I could ever have because of life's challenges was motherhood for me. I had gone through some challenges early in my life. I had breast cancer and a divorce and went through those things. And I had missed that train. And it was crushing me, crushing me. But I buried it so deep down because it was not available to me. I was not going to speak about it, because if I spoke it, and why would I say something that would never come to be? So one day, I was in my 50s. I was 51, I think, and I was walking down the beach with a good friend of mine, and her name's Jen Miller, and I love her so much, and she's kind of a mother to everybody. And she said casually as we were talking about life, and we were just at a baby shower, and she goes, oh, we never wanted kids. And I stopped and I looked at her, and I said, actually, Jen, I kind of always did. And she said, but you've never said that. And I said, but I want to say it because it's like, I want to be an astronaut or whatever. It's not happening. And she goes. And she goes, is that why you always said you wanted to be a teacher of elementary school kids? I said, yeah. She goes, is that why you said you wanted to run a summer camp? I said, yeah. She goes, oh, my God. So I. I kept saying to myself, I can't believe I said it. And I go home. Speak it out loud. I go home. And I turned on Access or something like that, and Sandra Bullock had just adopted a baby named Louie from New Orleans. I was like, how old is Sandra Bullock? I'm like, oh, my God. She's my exact age. It's possible. And so this secret, this. You can't have it. Don't say it, because you can't have it. I said it. So I was like, that was weird. So I was like, is that a sign? So I ended up watching something else on tv. And there was this little boy. And I remember the image so clearly and vividly. He was in Syria, and he was covered with soot, and he was crying, and it was terrible. And his parents had died. And I Looked at that kid and I was like, that kid. That kid needs me. Like, I'm not like, what am I doing here? There are kids who need me too, just as much as I need them. And one by one, after speaking those words out loud, things were happening. And so here I go. I start the adoption process. I'm 51, filling out papers like, what is happening here, Mel? I am, like, sitting at my desk because it's never happening. And the phone rings and the lady on the other end of the phone says my two favorite words in the English language. She says, she's here. Haley came. This was solely because I spoke it out loud. I promise you, if I would have buried it like I've buried other things in my life, because it's out of my reach. Something about saying it in the universe changes things and it changed it for me. So, I mean, what I guess I'm saying to your lovely, incredible listener who's here is, it's not too late. It's not too late. Whatever you have in your brain or in your soul that you're carrying, like, no, no, can't do it. Just say it, say it anyway and see what happens. Like, I think we bury things and I think it's good to unearth them and give them a go.

Hoda Kotb (35:16)

You know what's funny about. Well, something hit me. It's about decades for me, okay? My 30s and 20s, I worked my tail off, which. And I worked through most of the decades. My 40s was kind of my tricky one. It was. I gotten sick with cancer. I got divorced. My 50s was like, wow, kids, Savannah, first female anchor team. You know, it was like. So then I was approaching my 60s, and I thought, well, what is. What is this one? Going to be like, yeah, now it could be an extension. I thought, yeah, why not? 50s, 60s. Yeah, we'll keep going. And every now and then I got this kind of thing, but this is 60s. Like, how is this decade going to feel for me? I actually paused down on that and I thought about it and I was thinking about how, what I wanted it to look like. And I took some time and I was, you know, wondering, is this, Have I done everything? And is there more to do with the Today show? I feel like I've interviewed all the coolest people. I've done the Olympics. I've done all these fun things. Like, is there more for me to do? Or, you know, is the same great? You know, could be great, too. And then something weird happened. It was my 60th birthday party. It was like, say the party. And it was on the Today show. And it was one of those big ones where people had signs they made. They drove. I drove from Minnesota. Happy birthday, girl. My birthday, too. I was like, Like, I loved it. My whole family flew in. It was like of a lifetime. Jenna's dad, President Bush, gave me a painting. I was sobbing, I was crying, the who. But something weird was happening. My sister, my best friend, everybody was there. And while I was there, I was almost having an out of body. I was literally, like hovering above. I was like, the top of the wave. I kept thinking, the top of the wave. This is the top of the wave. I could feel it. I was like, I chill. I have chills now. I was like, this is the best it's ever gonna be. And I knew it. I knew it. Like, warm hand on my heart, I knew it for sure. And something just came over me. And as I was looking out, I was thinking to myself, okay, did I just decide something on this birthday on the plaza, like that? Is that true? Like, I was. So I let the day settle. Went home, went, you know, thought about it some more. We'd moved out to the suburbs, me and my kids. And I was watching my kids play out in this, you know, climb trees and do fun things. And I was like, huh? Is there, is there a different life awaiting me? And my little girl, Hope, who was 6, was climbing a tree in the front yard. And up and down she went. I was watching her. I was just thinking about, what am I going to do? What am I going to do? Watched her go up and down a little tree, up and down. Hi, Mom. Look. I'm like, oh, here you are again. Up and down. Okay, good for you. And then she's at the top. And I go, hopeie, you're at the top. I go, what are you going to do? She looked at me and I like, kid you not. She goes, I guess it's time to find a different tree. I go, what? She goes, a different tree, right, Mom? I go, yeah, a different tree. Yeah, yeah. So I left and I was like, my heart was full. I was like, oh, my gosh, I think I've decided. And then there was some actor on the show, and he was talking about waves, and everything was. You know how it is when you say something. He's talking about waves, and I'm listening. And he goes, oda, let me tell you about this. I rode the Oscar wave. It's high. And he was telling me, he goes, and it's so high. But you know it's going to crash, right? Because every wave does, and you ride it and you're like, yes. And the wave goes down. He goes. And then I made the decision to paddle back out. So I paddled back out and I rode the next wave. And that one was my Indy. And it was a fun one. It was little, but it was fun. And the next one, he goes, you paddle out as many times as you want, but there'll be different waves. So I was thinking about it. And so with all of that, and I also started thinking about, like, my time pie. I was like, we all get a time pie. Here's how we carve it up. And I have one life and that's it. So what am I going to do with it? Is this time pie the way I want it? And I realized it wasn't how I wanted it. And in that moment, I thought about my kids, walking to school, the suburbs, starting a new company. I was thinking about that. I had that brewing in the back of my head. A little office. I'd walk my kids to school and walk to my office in town. Like, I could see it. And so with that, I made the decision became clearer and clearer. And I thought to myself, if I can put my head on the pillow.

Mel Robbins (44:10)

The Let them theory is the best gift you can give this holiday season. It's the gift you give to someone who's overwhelmed, to the people pleaser, to the friend who carries way too much, to the sibling who's exhausted from dealing with everyone else's emotions, to the co worker who needs a break. It's meaningful, it's practical, it's hilarious, and it's life changing. The let them theory for everyone on your list, available at letthem.com and wherever books are sold. The holiday season is like one long to do list. But the one thing I refuse to stress about but comfort. And Bombas. They've nailed it. Socks, slippers, tees. I love this stuff. I feel like I'm the Bombas lady in my neighborhood. Walk the dog, Bomba's socks, trip to the grocery store, Bombas shirt hanging out at home. Definitely got the Bombas slippers on. It's all just so soft. You feel like you're wrapped in a hug. And hey, who couldn't use a hug right now? Even if it's just from the socks on your feet. They've also got answers for the gifting chaos. Your son's new girlfriend who runs marathon Bombas running socks or sweat wicking and impact cushioning. Your neighbor's fussy newborn baby. Bombas to the rescue. And what I really love is this. For every pair you buy, Bombas donates one to someone facing homelessness. How cool is that? So when you get something warm someone else does too. Head over to bombas.commel and use code MEL for 20% off your first purchase. That's B O M B A S.comMEL code MEL at checkout this time of the year is chaotic, stress is high, treats are everywhere, and you're crashing by 3pm if you want to feel sharper, more focused, and beat the cravings, it's time to get to know your glucose with Lingo. A real time glucose wearable for you. Staying in a healthy glucose range isn't one size fits all. It's normal to fluctuate. What matters is learning your patterns and building habits that work for you. You see how your glucose responds to what you eat, how you move, even how you sleep. I mean, here's the thing. One in three adults are living with prediabetes and most have no idea. But tuning in early and making lifestyle changes can transform your health for today and tomorrow. Get to know your glucose today with Lingo designed for you by Abbott. This holiday season through December 31st. Use code MEL10@helloingo.com to get 10% off a lingo plan. Purchase one use per customer. This offer cannot be combined with other offers, US and Puerto Rico only. The Lingo Glucose system is for users 18 years and older, not on insulin. It is not intended for diagnosis of diseases, including diabetes. Individual responses may vary. If you hate that holiday shopping turns into this ridiculous guessing game. What do they want? What do they need? Oh, they don't need anything. Well, I'm done guessing and you should be too. Give everyone an Aura frame this year. It's a digital picture frame that shows the photos and videos you send straight from your phone. Here's why I love giving this as a gift. With Aura, you get unlimited free photo and video uploads, and it just takes minutes to set the thing up. I gave my parents one last year. It's the best because everyone lives all over the place and the house is quieter than they want to admit. And so you just load up the Aura frame with what's going to make them smile. Whether it's a video of their grandkids, the candid photos where my brother's laughing so hard he can barely breathe. That's the stuff that matters. For a limited time, save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $35 off Aura's best selling Carver mat frames. That's the one named number one by Wirecutter. Just use promo code MEL at checkout. That's auraframes.com promo code MEL auraframes.com Promo code MEL. This deal is exclusive to listeners, and frames sell out fast, so order yours now to get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us the Mel Robbins Podcast at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

Hoda Kotb (48:37)

I was a B minus student at Virginia tech. Okay? My SATs, I skimmed the trees, barely making it. Okay? I was a tried out. I had fun, yada, yada. So it wasn't my finest hour college. So let's. I mean, it was fun, but. So when I graduated from Virginia Tech, that did not have a big communications department at the time, I went looking for a job and I borrowed my mom's car for a one hour trip from my house in Alexandria to Richmond to get hired. I roll up there and I'm dressed up and I'm feeling good, and then shake the news director's hand. I'm like, I'm Hoda. I'm like, I love it here. I'm gonna sit there. I'm gonna date that guy. Like, I had it. I was like, done. The guy takes my tape, he puts in the machine, he plays it, he stops it, he goes, oh, God, you are. Why are. You're not even ready for Richmond? Why did you come here? I go, I had the interview. I had this, my only interview. I only had one. He was like, well, you're not ready. You're green. Who sent you here? How did this even happen? And I had a friend of a friend had sent up there, and he goes, but wait, I got a buddy of mine, he's hiring in Roanoke. I go, roanoke, Virginia. Okay? He goes, if you leave now, he's going on some trip, some news director's trip. Do you want me to call him and tell him you're coming? I said, yes. So it's four hours away from Richmond. So I called my mom. I go, mom, I'm gonna borrow the car. I didn't. She goes, how was Richmond? Like, I don't want Richmond, okay? Nobody wants Richmond. I want Roanoke. So I drove to Roanoke. I roll up there. I'm like, okay, I'll sit there. I'll date that guy. I don't care what's good. Guy takes my tape, plays it, stops it after, I don't know, 30 seconds a minute, he goes, you are so not ready for Roanoke. He's like, you're green. You're not good. You know, see you later. And I'm like, walking out. And he goes, whoa, whoa, Hoda, before you go, I got a buddy of mine, he's hiring in Memphis, Tennessee. I go, okay. He goes, he's going on the same news director's conference I'm going to. He's leaving tomorrow. Do you want me to call him and tell him you're coming? I go, yeah, yeah, yeah. Call him, tell him I'm coming. So I go, mom. She goes, do you like Roanoke? I go, no, I need the car for two more days. I'm driving to Memphis, So hung up. Tennessee's the long skinny state. Memphis was over here. I drove across the great state of Tennessee all the way to the end. The guy meets me. I look like a crazy. Cause I'm exhausted. And I hand him my tape, and he goes. Plays in. He stops and he goes, hoda, why would anyone send you here? Memphis is a big market. Who sent you? Roanoke? No, no, no, no. You're not ready. And so this went on Mel. So he sent me to somebody else. I kept driving. I drove and drove and drove. I was 10 days driving around. I got rejected in Birmingham. ABC, NBC, CBS. No, no, no. That was three. I drove to Dothan, Alabama, okay? That guy asked me, do you know how to put the tape in the machine? Like I was a child. I got rejected. I got rejected everywhere. It was over 27 no's. So I felt terrible. I'm a loser. James Taylor on the radio. Take me home and end this nightmare. And I got lost. Cause this is what happens when you're driving. And there was a big sign that said, greenville, Our eye is on you, cbs. I said, let me roll in. Let me get rejected in Greenville, and let me get a map. I'm going home and starting my job in PR or whatever. And this guy Stan Sandroni was my life changer. I roll in there hot. I look like a big old mess. I hand him my tape. He goes, my name's Stan. I go, hey, Stan. I was sports director yesterday, and they promoted me. I was like, okay. He goes, what's your name? I go, hoda, Come on in, Hilda. Let's look at that tape. So he took My tape, Mel. He sticks at the machine. Stan plays my tape. The worst tape in obviously, history. I've played it for everybody around the southeastern United States and got nothing. And that man stopped the tape, and he looked at me and he goes, hilda. And I said, yes. He goes, I like what I see. I, like, exploded in tears. So what it taught me, if you're a kid getting through college and trying to figure out is not everybody needs to like you. You just need your one if you have one. And just to show you Stan loved me, they told us to bring someone to Studio 1A who changed our life. And I brought Stan Sandroni who was like, I knew it from the beginning. I'm like, well, you were the only one. Because nobody else thought it was worth anything. But I think that's the thing. If you're graduating college or in your 20s or whatever it is, and somebody tells you you're not good, you're not good enough. Because that's what they all told me to my face. You're not good enough. And that will bust your confidence in half. But when you find one person, one who says, I'll take a chance, then you're like, he changed the whole course of my life. I would have gone into PR and been in D.C. right now, probably doing something. But because of Stan, I got to be here. Because of Stan, I got to anchor with Savannah. Because of Stan, I got to go to the Olympics. Just one. So I think it's possible, you know, it's a possibility if you don't quit. If you don't quit.

Mel Robbins (66:09)

Here's something to remember. Pay attention to how people make you feel. Dating isn't just about the surface details we sometimes get caught up on. What matters most is whether being with someone helps you feel grounded and fully yourself. That kind of alignment is what leads to lasting relationships. Bumble is designed to help you find connections that feel in tune with who you are. With tools like thoughtful prompts and shared interests that highlight what really matters to someone and verified profiles that give you peace of mind. When you stay aligned with yourself, dating feels less like a struggle and more like an opportunity. Bumble can help you put that into practice. You know, so many members of the team here at the Mel Robbins Podcast have people in their lives who not only found meaningful connections on Bumble, they found the one. I mean, one of our producers friends named Hannah was using Bumble bff, and she loved meeting friends on it so much, she thought, wait, I should be using Bumble for dating, too? Not long after she matched with Declan, they met up for a first date, and they realized quickly that they were not only aligned, they were a perfect match. And just as easily as Bumble helped Hannah meet new friends, it connected her with the person she eventually married. Download Bumble and find your meaningful connection today. You know that feeling when you want to get a good night's sleep, and then your partner or the dog who's on the bed is tossing and turning and stealing the covers, and suddenly you're the one who's wide awake at 2am Been there. It's frustrating when someone else's restless night becomes yours. If you're ready to stop letting these little sleep disruptors ruin your night and your day, Mattress Firm can help. Their sleep experts will help match you with a bed designed for deeper rest. Like Tempur Pedic, the Unique temper material absorbs motion, so when your partner moves, you don't. It helps minimize those nighttime disruptions, whether it's from your partner, your pets, your kiddos. And it gives you the kind of personalized sleep your body has been craving and needs. Upgrade to a Tempur Pedic and get next day delivery so you can start sleeping better right away. Because when you sleep better, you feel better. For the great sleep you deserve, visit Mattress Firm and upgrade to a Tempur Pedic. They make sleep easy. Restrictions apply. Next day delivery. Available on select mattresses and subject to location. See store for details. The holiday season is like one long to do list. But the one thing I refuse to stress about comfort and Bombas. They've nailed it. Socks, slippers, tees. I love this stuff. I feel like I'm the Bombas lady in my neighborhood. Walk the dog, Bombas socks, trip to the grocery store, Bombas shirt, hanging out at home. Definitely got the Bombas slippers on. It's all just so soft. You feel like you're wrapped in a hug. And hey, who couldn't use a hug right now, even if it's just from the socks on your feet. They've also got answers for the gifting chaos. Your son's new girlfriend who runs marathon Bombas running socks, her sweat wicking and impact cushioning. Your neighbor's fussy newborn baby. Bombas to the rescue. And what I really love is for every pair you buy, Bombas donates one to someone facing homelessness. How cool is that? So when you get something warm, someone else does too. Head over to bombas.commel and use code MEL for 20% off your first purchase. That's B O M b-a-.commel code MEL at checkout.

Hoda Kotb (70:07)

Intellect, emotion and spirit. And under each one, I write what they need. What does my body need today? It needs a walk. It needs a bath, needs manicure, needs sleep. Write it down. What does my intellect need? About that book that's been sitting on my bedside table forever that I haven't cracked open one chapter. I need one chapter of something intellectual. What do my emotions need? I didn't get time to Put my kids to bed well, last night. I'm going to take time and I'm going to read. And what does my spirit need? Oh, I need a better connection with God. So I'm gonna read this or do that. Once you start looking at your life on the daily, you understand what you need and what's lacking. And I feel like that's like a mini roadmap for the day. Now you're thinking to yourself, I wanna change. I'm scared. I don't know how to do it. Okay, here's what you do. I read this somewhere, but you do 30 minutes for 30 days. So you want to start a new business. Here. Here's what you're going to do today. You're going to spend 30 minutes today, whenever it is. 30 minutes checking out. Oh, go on, AI. I want to open a coffee shop. What is the competition in my neighborhood? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 30 minutes, done. Tomorrow, 30 more minutes. Okay, give me a business plan and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, boom. Number three. You do it for 30 days. When you're done, you have 900 minutes clocked. 900. So you know whether you want to open a coffee shop, you have enough data, you're going to understand whether that's a good idea or not for you. So my advice is baby steps toward the jump. You need to dissect it and figure out if it's really what you want. Because I think sometimes we think we want it, and you're like, I'm going to run and jump off the cliff. Oh, my God, what's down there? Don't do that. Like, we're not idiots. We need our paychecks, we need our insurance. We need these things. But we can explore possibilities at the same time. And the biggest thing is it doesn't matter what the. Don't worry about the odds. What are the odds of me starting a business? Oh, God, it's not going to work. Because the odds are, if someone really said to me, what are the odds of me becoming an anchor on the Today show? I swear, if someone crunched the numbers, which AI could, it would have been a million to one. Stop sign. Glasses. Funny name. I was way overweight. I looked. You know, no one could say it was like a billion reasons why it didn't make sense, but it does. So don't play the odds. Do your thing. Do your dance. And I think examine it, and I think go for it. Because the option is being right where you are, and that may be where you want to be.

Hoda Kotb (75:02)

And I think the thing that stops people and stopped me is like, when you don't know what your purpose is and you're like, what is it? What is it? I don't know where to go. This is all I got. I don't know which thing I should do. I think that that piece of it is also so huge that it makes you think to yourself, I can't do it. I actually heard a story that moved me and I was like, this is what Purpose is about. And it was. They called it stuff. More stuff. Even more stuff and purpose. And this guy named Ken Baring was a real estate dude, and he made lots of money. And he was kind of cranky and wasn't a happy dude. But anyway, he made all this money. He's like, now I'm gonna be happy. Bought his wife the big house, got the jewels, got the car. He's like, this is good. Six months later, he was cranky old Ken again. He was like, oh, God, this is not good. He goes, you know what? I need more stuff. Yeah. So he got that house on the hill. He got the Lamborghini. Get the better. We'll get the private plane. Yeah, more stuff. Six months later, cranky Ken again wasn't feeling good. He was like, oh, God. He goes, you know what I need? I need to buy something big. So this man bought the Seattle Seahawks. He actually bought the team. Bought the team. He was fist bumping on the field. He was like, this is amazing. Six months later, felt like crap again. He was like, geez, buddy. His says, hey, come with me to Bosnia. I'm going to drop off some wheelchairs. Do you want to join? He was like, I'll go. So they take 75 wheelchairs, and when they land, there are 75 disabled people on the tarmac. He's opening up the chairs, and one by one, they're hoisting these people up, putting them in the chairs. Gets to the third guy's lifting them up, and the guy kind of grabs his hand and he looks at Ken. Ken goes, you okay? He goes, yeah, yeah. I just want to memorize your face so that when I see you in heaven, I'll say thank you. And Ken said it was the first time in his life he felt sheer and utter joy and purpose. First time. And it changed the course of his life. He ended up taking wheelchairs to people who needed them. But finding what confound or finding the thing that gives you tingles, finding the peace that we're all searching for. Because I think change is easy. When you have the piece, you're like, oh, now I know where I'm going. Because it's hard when you don't know which way to turn. But I think finding that concrete piece, and I was thinking, like, how do you do that? And I did ask a friend of mine who's a professor, and she said, this is what I tell my students to do. She said, I tell them to list five people who they admire and they want to switch places with just even For a day. Who would they be? So they list them. Could be anybody. It could be the lady who runs the coffee shop. It could be Beyonce. It could be your mother. It could be whatever. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Fine, then write down the traits. Why? Well, this, that, and the other. I like this. I like that. Then write in another column things you don't love about their life. She said, what you'll see is a pattern emerging. She goes, one of them was like, everyone was an entrepreneur. And she never even thought that one of them was. Everyone was in the spotlight in different ways. Ah, so you like something in the spot. One was, everybody has kids. But a way to distill what you want. Cause I think not knowing what you want makes you feel helpless. You're like, I don't know where I'm going. I don't know what I want.

Hoda Kotb (82:25)

I go, oh, I. I had a procedure. He goes, what procedure? I go, go. I had an operation. Like. I was like, what the. And he goes, what was it? I go, oh, God. I go, okay, I have breast cancer. I said, but I hope when you get off this plane, you don't say, oh, I sat next to this girl with breast cancer. He goes, what is wrong with you? He goes, breast cancer's part of you. It's like going to college or getting married. He goes, let me give you some advice, and you can go to sleep. I was like, all right. I go, and I'll never forget what he said. He said to me, don't hog your journey. It's not just for you. He said, think of how many people you could help. On the plane ride home, he said, you can put your stuff deep in your pockets and you can take it to your grave, or you can help somebody. Chills. Ken. Duane was his name, and I never forgot it. And I was like. I was hiding it. I wanted to bury it. And this man just cracked it open. Open the door. This guy Ken, a stranger, he changed everything for me. I was no longer hiding or ashamed or worried about what people would think of me. It was part of me, just like going to college or getting married. And what happened as a result was you talked about the four words, you can't scare me because language matters. I sort of had this epiphany when I was sleeping and healing and I popped up out of bed and I was like, oh, my God, you can't scare me. It's like, wait a minute. The scariest thing just happened. Maybe I wasn't gonna make it. I made it. Here I am. So now what? Now what? So with this kind of courage and, like, you know, propelling me, they were starting a new hour of the Today show, a brand new fourth hour. Never been, you know, ever happened before. And no one saw me in that job because I wasn't that girl. And with that epiphany of, you can't scare me. You should have seen me, man. I ran up to the 52nd floor where all the bigwigs were. I met Jeff Zucker. I'm like, jeff, I had this epiphany. I had cancer. But now. And I went on this big speech. I ended up getting hired for the Today show as a result of that conversation and some producers who are rooting for me. And I thought to myself, it took me getting sick, being afraid of dying before I had courage to ask for something like a promotion. It seemed so small and stupid and little like how. And I was thinking to myself, if I hadn't gotten sick, I wouldn't have asked. I would have sat quietly at my desk and worked hard and not been noticed, probably. But it reminded me, like, you don't need to wait till you're sick. You don't need to wait till you have no fear. Ask for the stinking raise. Ask for the promotion. So what if they say no? So what? You asked, you did something, you took an action. I mean, sitting quietly at your desk is going to get you nowhere. But at your desk, no one's giving you a raise because they see you in the corner still working at 8 o' clock at night. Look at me. It's like nobody sees that you have to take ownership. And cancer weirdly made me believe that I was afraid of nothing, which I was. And it changed the game.