Transcript
Rob Dial (0:00)
Whether your kids are struggling or soaring, IXL can make a difference. IXL is an award winning online learning platform covering math, Language arts, Science and social Studies, Pre K all the way through 12th grade. My best friend's wife who is an ex school teacher uses this to homeschool her children and says that it is the best program that you can use to help your children learn. So make an impact on your child's learning and get IXL now. The Mindset Mentor listeners get an exclusive 20% off IXL memberships when they sign up today@ixl.com mindset mentor. The Mindset Mentor is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with the name your price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try it at progressive.com, progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates pricing coverage match limited by state law not available in all states when you own a small business, the workday doesn't end at 5. Your business is always on your brain, even on the days off. So when it's time to hire, you want someone who puts in the same hustle. That hiring partner is LinkedIn jobs. When you clock out, LinkedIn clocks in. They make it easy to post your job for free, share it with your network and get qualified candidates that you can manage all in one place. And LinkedIn's new feature can help you write job descriptions and then quickly get your job in front of the right people with deep candidate insights. At the end of the day, the most important thing to your small business is the quality of candidates. And with LinkedIn you can feel confident that you're getting the best. Find out why more than 2.5 million small businesses use LinkedIn for hiring today. Post your job for free at LinkedIn.com dial that's LinkedIn.com dial to post your job for free. Terms and conditions apply. Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I I'm your host Rob Dial. If you've never subscribed this podcast before, hit the subscribe button so you never miss another episode. I put out episodes four times a week. Help you learn who you are, how to improve yourself. Because if you can improve yourself, you can improve your life, which ultimately is what we're here to do. So if you want to do that, hit that subscribe button. Today I'm going to be talking to you about six different steps to improve your self confidence. One of the questions that I get asked very, very frequently is how do I become More confident. And I want you to understand it's kind of like the chicken or the egg, right? You want to go and do something with your life, and you think that you need more confidence in order to go and do that thing. But you can't do that thing if you don't have confidence. I don't know. That's kind of a weird thing. Which one comes first? Achieving or having confidence? Which does confidence come from? Achieving. Does confidence become. Before achieving? I want you to understand you weren't born with confidence. Confidence is something that is earned through the actions that you take throughout your life. And that's why I actually believe that confidence should be called a skill set. It is a skill set. It is not a part of your personality that you were just born with at birth. And one of the things that I've really come to realize is that if you see a confident person, if you're looking at a confident person, you can usually tell by looking at that person in the way that they walk and the way they talk, the way they hold themselves, the way they walk into a room, there's something a little bit different. You know, you're looking at someone who has taken the action that they need to and has gotten some form of results in something. But what you don't see when you see a confident person is the hundreds and hundreds of small, private moments where they were scared, where they were filled with fear, where they procrastinated because they were so afraid. When they finally took action and. And they ended up failing when they were sitting there doubting themselves, not thinking that they're good enough. Because confidence is not this flashy thing, you know, that might be someone who's cocky. They're very flashy. Confidence, though, is this skillset. It's cumulative. It's something that grows over time. I could say for myself, like, I was not confident in myself, my skillset, my abilities at all when I was younger. And the more that I pushed myself out of my comfort zone, I started doing these things that I'm gonna cover today. The more it just kind of grew. And then one day you look back and you're like, wow, I'm not that shy, timid, unconfident person anymore. And so let's dive into it. The first thing that you need to do if you want to be more confident is to take action. You don't need to be confident to take action. You need to take action to give yourself a chance to grow more confident. If you're sitting around thinking that you need to be Confident to take action. You're going to be sitting forever. You know, you can't meditate yourself into being more confident. You can't think yourself into being more confident. Confidence a lot of times comes from results. It comes from doing something a lot of times something that you didn't want to do and seeing results and not always seeing good results, sometimes going and doing something and failing anyways. And it also comes from another thing which I'll talk about a little bit later, but it comes from doing something and getting some form of a result. Maybe you go and you do this thing that you're afraid of doing and you have amazing results. Maybe you go and you do this thing that you're afraid of doing. But the confidence comes from seeing yourself show up and take the action that you needed to, regardless of how you felt about it. Seeing your fear and pushing past your fear anyways and realizing, hey, my fear doesn't control me. It's this idea, this skill set of becoming good at following through, doing what you say you're going to do. A person that I coached with years ago used to always say, I'm trying to make my do to say ratio 1. Which means when I say I'm going to do something, I do it Every single time 100%. So I'm working on my do to say ratio, doing what you say you're going to do. Getting better at prioritizing yourself not because you're selfish, but because your future self is going to come in contact with you at some point in time. Your future self exists in the future. Is your future self going to be proud of you for the actions that you're taking today or are they going to think, man, I wish I would have done something different. Each time you follow through, you reinforce self trust. And self trust is the foundation that confidence has to rely on. You have to have some form of self trust and most people don't have self trust. And the reason why is because think of how many times you've said you're going to do something and you didn't do it. You know, maybe you'll show up for other people more than you'll show up for yourself. You can't be that way. There's one person who's always watching you every single second of your life and it's you. And so when you say I'm going to do this and I'm going to do this for myself, you need to get yourself to do it. You need to get your follow through, you need to get your due to say, ratio to be one or as close to one as possible. So that's the first thing is you need to take action to give yourself a chance at becoming confident. Second thing, you need to learn to start visualizing. This helps a lot. And I've given that example before of the first basketball game that I. You know, the first championship basketball game I was ever a part of. I was the best player on my team. My really good friend Eddie was the best player on his team, but he was way better than I was. And we were going into a championship game, and I was really, really nervous. My mom's like, why don't you go visualize the game? And I was like, 13 years old. I was like, what does it even mean? She's like, go to your room, lay down, take some deep breaths, and visualize how you want the game to go. And if you do that, you won't be as nervous. You'll be more confident when you walk into the space. I visualized the game the next day we went into the game, and I remember feeling more confident because I felt like I had already been in the championship game before. Now, we did not win the game because, as I said earlier, my friend Eddie was way better than I was. We lost the championship game. But I remember walking in and not being nervous, but being more confident. And so you have to see the person that you want to be. If you're nervous because you're about to go give a presentation at work, you have to see yourself going in, giving that presentation, and crushing it at work. Because if you don't, your brain is already visualizing the future. The reason why you're nervous is because your brain has already visualized the future, and it's visualized you fumbling your words, looking like an idiot, tripping when you walk on stage, your belt not being tight enough, and your pants falling down in front of the entire company, whatever it is, your brain's already unconsciously visualized the worst thing happening. So what you need to do is start visualizing the best thing that could possibly happen. You need to see yourself crushing that presentation. You need to see yourself as that confident person. Because most people unintentionally visualize what they don't want. That's why they're nervous. That's why they're not confident. Because we're always mentally rehearsing something whether we realize it or not. You're always mentally rehearsing your brain. The greatest skill set of a human is also, they say usually your greatest strength is your greatest weakness. The greatest strength that kept our species alive is we could visualize the future and prepare for danger. That's good for danger, but that's not good for going in to try to be more confident. Because what are we visualizing? The negative aspects of life. The things that we're trying to avoid, the things that we're afraid of. So we're always mentally rehearsing something. The question is, are you mentally rehearsing what you're afraid of? Or are you mentally rehearsing being more confident? Visualization is a mental dress rehearsal for your future self. And so that's the second thing, the third thing. And I used to be really against these because I thought they were corny, but I have completely changed my mind in the past five years on them. Affirmations. You need to get better at talking to yourself. Think of. I want you to think of the worst person in your life, right? The person who is the worst to you. The kid. And it was in high school they used to beat you up or you know, threw a hot dog across the kitchen inside of school and you got smacked in the face of the hot dog and everybody made fun of you. Whatever it is, think of that worst person, the bully that you hated. All of that. I want you to understand that person who's the worst person in your life. There's a good chance that over the course of your lifetime you've been worse to yourself than they were to you because of the things that you say to yourself. It's so often that it just makes me so sad how many people have such negative self talk and we will be right back. Should it stay or should it go? What if I mess it up? What if I have to pay taxes? Now?