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Make an impact on your child's learning and get IXL right now and the Mindset Mentor listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixl.com mindsetmentor Visit ixl.com mindsetmentOr to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host Rob. Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you don't miss any more episodes I put out episodes four times a week to help you learn, grow and improve yourself and be doing it for almost 10 years now. So if you want a better life, hit that subscribe button. Today I'm going to be talking about how to manifest what it is that you really want. And I'm going to teach you a real simple trick on how to get what you want in your life. But I want you to understand this. You don't just create the life that you want by dreaming bigger, or by meditating every single day and thinking about it, or by chanting mantras out into the universe and just expecting that it's going to happen. You get what you want by making your dream life feel normal to your nervous system. Now you might be like, what the hell does that mean? If the life that you want feels like it's some fantasy that's off in the distance future and it's years and years away, then that future that you want will always just kind of be out of reach. Your subconscious, whether you realize it or not, your nervous system, whether you realize it or not, will, will just quietly reject that future because it seems like something that's in the distance. So it will always be in the distance. If you don't think that you'll have it, you'll never actually have it. And you might be the best person in the world at vision boarding, or you might be really great at manifesting like a pro. But if you're sitting there and there's a little bit of this doesn't feel normal, or there's a little bit of like you're doubting it, then I promise you it ain't happening. If you want to be there someday, it will always be someday. And so what does that mean? What it means is if you really want to manifest something, if you really want some, which manifest can be spiritual or woo woo or law of attraction. But manifest just means you create, right? If you really want to create that future, you need to be there now. You need for it to feel like you're there now. You need to experience it now. And that's the really key phrase for what we're going to talk about today. You need to experience it now. It's really important to understand this. Your nervous system doesn't move towards what is exciting. Your nervous system moves towards what is familiar. I'll give you a great example. There's so many people that reach out to me and they want to change their life and they're like, I'm miserable, I hate my life. And they want to create something better. But they can't get themselves to create something better because their nervous system, even though it's miserable, it's familiar and it will always move towards what's familiar. So let that sink in for just a second. It doesn't move towards what is exciting or what you want or what would be an amazing feeling. It moves towards what's familiar. And so your brain, which thinks and creates your emotional operating system, doesn't crave the best life, it craves the most familiar life. Because what feels familiar feels safe. And if something feels unfamiliar automatically to the brain and the body, it is a little bit unsafe. Because uncertainty is a threat to the human brain. Even if it means like staying stuck and staying miserable and staying in the exact same place. So let's talk real quick about how to rewire your normal so that it actually matches the life that you want. Let's be real about this whole thing. You've probably at some point thought to yourself, like, I don't know why I keep self sabotaging. I know what I want, I know what I need to do, but I'm just not doing it. Like, I just can't seem to get myself out of this rut. Well, I want you to know that's not usually laziness. It's, it's not usually lack of willpower. It's your internal thermostat doing its job. If you think about a thermostat for an air conditioning or a heater, it keeps it at the exact same place no matter what. That is your internal thermostat keeping you in the place of what familiar is. Because familiar once again feels safe. So it's just keeping you in the place of familiarity. So if you grew up, you know, in a house that had chaos and struggle and, and scarcity, then the feeling of peace actually can feel threatening to your nervous system. Like you can even consciously want to feel peaceful, but it feels really unfamiliar. And that means unsafe to the nervous system. This is why people almost always get into relationships with people that mirror the traumas from their parents in childhood. Because even if they don't want to those traumas, again, it feels familiar to the nervous system. And this is really important to understand when we talk about manifesting things. You know, if you've dated people who were emotionally unavailable, then real love might feel boring or even wrong to you, right? So you're, you're, you have to understand your brain and nervous system are wired for normal, not thriving. And I'll give you a real quick example. Maybe I'm gonna, hopefully you've, you've been in this situation before. But I've been in a situation before where I had friends who had parents that had a good amount of money. And you walk in to a nice house, maybe even a mansion, and you're like, oh my God, this is amazing. And you're like blown away by the house and everything that they have and all of their toys. And you know, maybe as a kid you knew someone like this, or maybe as an adult you've been into a friend's house that has a really nice house and it's, they got the pool in the backyard and everything that you've ever wanted. But I remember as a kid, you know, you're blown away the first couple times you go over and then if you're go over over and over and over and over again after visiting 5, 6, 10 times, it's still really nice, it's still amazing. But it doesn't shock you anymore. It doesn't shock the nervous system. It's because your nervous system is adjusting and it's saying, oh, this exists, this is real. I've been here before. This is just normal when I go to Bobby's house. So you might be in the exact same situation, or maybe you've been to a friend's house, you're like, holy crap, this place is amazing. This is great. And you go there 5, 10, 15 times and when you walk through the door the 15th time, you're not like, oh my God, this is amazing. No, you're just over at John and Stacy's house, right? And so it's your nervous system becoming more normalized to going over to their house and this is what they have. And if it feels normal, it feels safe. So, you know, and I want you to understand, like, if you want a life like that, if you want more, you're not crazy for wanting more, that's completely okay. But if that more feels like winning a lottery ticket, like it's out of reach, I'd have to be really lucky to get it. If it feels in the distant future, it's never going to happen for you, you won't take aligned action towards it. And it'll be like a ghost that you keep chasing, but you can never actually grab. And so, you know, you may have heard the phrase before the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Right. Why is it that kids who often grow up wealthy also become wealthy adults? Well, of course there have been studies that show that, you know, there's a lot more opportunities and Connections that are afforded to children that are wealthy. They parents have better connections, they get into better schools, all of that as well. But it's also been studies to find out it's not just access. It's more of, like the energetics behind it, success or wealthy, or that life feels familiar to them. And the reason why this helps is because of the fact that it feels familiar. It doesn't feel intimidating, it feels expected. More than anything else, it's part of their identity. And so studies have found that children who grew up in wealthy households expect to be wealthier. Now this is, you know, it just feels normal. And this is important because I'm not saying that like every person who's raised in a wealthy household just immediately becomes wealthy. Absolutely not. But it becomes easier for them because for them, it doesn't feel out of reach, it feels normal. Doesn't mean it's guaranteed. But because it is normal, it tends to be easier to get. Now, on the flip side of that, if you grew up in a household that lived paycheck to paycheck, then abundance might feel overwhelming. It doesn't even feel normal to your nervous system. And so you'll find ways, if you start making money, to get rid of it, to spend it, to burn it, to avoid it, to downplay it. Just so you get back to your baseline. This was one of the things that I did when I first started making money when I was younger is I realized when I started making more money and I looked at the end of the year and my first real time of making money when I was 21 years old, I made five times more than I had the year before then. But when I looked at my bank account, I had the exact same amount because it just didn't feel normal to me. So I spent it on stupid things and getting rid of stupid things. You know, I was just. It was just dumb. I was dumb with it, right? So that I would get myself back to baseline, back to normal. So let's talk about, like the energetics of wanting something. Okay, when you want something, what does that mean inherently? It means that you don't have it. And if you don't have something, that means that you are in the energy. When you think about a thing of lack. And we will be right back. When you're on hold with a doctor's office or pharmacy and the operator says, your call is very important to us after the 10th time, well, suddenly your call doesn't seem very important to them at all. Amazon One Medical has 24, seven virtual care and Amazon Pharmacy delivers meds right to you fast without any horrible hold music. Thanks to Amazon, health care just got less painful. You know what doesn't belong in your epic summer plans? Getting burned by your old wireless bill. While you're planning beach trips, barbecues and three day weekends, your wireless bill should be the last thing holding you back. 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If you shopped online, chances are that you've bought from businesses that are powered by Shopify. You know that purple shop pay button that you see at checkout? The one that makes buying so incredibly easy? That's Shopify. Shopify makes it incredibly easy to start and run your business, which is why so many brands, from household names to brands just getting started, choose to sell with it. Get help with everyday tasks like enhancing product images, writing product descriptions, or generating discount codes with Shopify's AI tools created for commerce. And the thing I love about Shopify is how easy it makes it to sell online. If you want to see less carts being abandoned, it's time for you to head over to Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com dial. Go to shopify.com dial. That's shopify.com dial and now back to the show. And it might surprise you because you know, you might say, hey, this is a life that I want. But wanting something too much can actually work against you. Because wanting means I don't have and it signals lack, not alignment. And so if instead of wanting that house or that relationship or that business, you have to have the idea of like it's going to happen, it's already on its way. To me, I'M aligning with that version of me. Like, what I want is already coming to me. It just hasn't gotten here yet. So it's not like I want this. It's like, no, this thing is happening. I just haven't gotten it yet. It's really subtle, but your subconscious picks up on stuff like this. Like, at one point in my life, I really started to understand this. In my early, probably my late 20s, early 30s, I stopped saying I want XYZ and I just started saying, I will have XYZ. And it's not just the saying of just saying it, but like actually feeling it and being like, no, I'm positive that thing that I want, I will get. But instead of saying I want that thing is I will have that thing. And I feel deep down inside of me, I will have this thing. And really like, truly believing it. Not like delusional or anything like that, but just a deep knowing within myself that it will happen. And so what you want to do, if you're noticing what I'm talking about, is normalizing what it is that you want in the future. For me, I was very, very lucky as a kid. And I say this all the time. You know, my family, we didn't have any money. My dad was out of the picture. You know, When I was 9, 10 years old, my mom had to work multiple jobs to basically feed my sister and me. And I wasn't in. I wasn't raised in this energy of success, but I was very, very lucky because my aunt and uncle had a good amount of money. My uncle Dan had a successful glass business. He had 200 employees in his business. And I was really lucky because my aunt and uncle, their daughter had a son early on. His name was Mike, and Mike is six days younger than I am. So anytime that the family went on a vacation because Mike needed someone to play with, I was almost always brought in this vacation. And so what happened was I was living in a house and I was, you know, we were just getting by. But then I would go on these vacations that were like, awesome. And we'd be on my, my. We'd go to the Bahamas on my uncle 65 foot Hatteras, his giant boat, right? And we would go to Costa Rica and stay at these really nice resorts and stuff. And I didn't realize it then, but what was happening is something was changing in my nervous system. Like, I got a taste of what was possible. I was super lucky in the fact that I had a taste of what was possible. And you know, I didn't, like, suddenly just become wealthy, but there was, like, the seed that was planted. And I remember being a kid in, like, leaving Costa Rica and looking at the first time I'd ever been out of the country. I saw what was possible. And I remember I told myself, I'm going to make a life where this is going to be possible for me. Like, I'm going to do this. I don't care. This is happening. And that kind of life wasn't unreal anymore. It was just. It wasn't mine yet, and I was going to get it. On the flip side of that, I have a good friend named Garen, and Garen talks about. I had him on my podcast before. He talks about growing up in poverty. He was born and raised in poverty, and he said that becoming successful, he's very successful now. Becoming successful when you're raised in poverty is like speaking a different language. And it's like, you have to learn the language. If you're raised around successful people, you're already speaking a language. But if you raised and you don't have successful people around you, it's like a foreign language to you. Now think about this. How do you best. Like, how do you learn a language best? You have to immerse yourself in that language in a new country. And so what you want to do is immerse yourself in the life that you. We're going to say the word want, but really the life that you're going to get in the future, like, you don't need to be in the Millionaire to start feeling like one. You just need to create exposure to it. And so, like, if you want a certain car, beautiful thing about nowadays is you can test drive that car. Go test drive that car as soon as you possibly can. It'll give you the feelings of, okay, now it's not out of reach because I've actually been inside of the car. Another thing you could do, like, you could, if you want a Porsche, you could go and Porsche and test drive the car if you want to. Or you could also go on, like, there's an app called Turo, which is basically like Airbnb for cars. And you could rent the car for a weekend. And then you can start to normalize the feeling of actually having the car. Seeing that car parked in the driveway, getting in the car, listening to the car when it starts up, what it feels like to hold onto the steering wheel. You're starting to normalize the feeling of having that life. You know, if you have a certain neighborhood that you want to live in. And that's the place where you know in your. The city that you live in, you're like, I want to live in this neighborhood. Look on Airbnb. See if you can save up enough money and just book an Airbnb for a weekend in your dream neighborhood. Perfect. Do it. Do it as often as you possibly can. See what it feels like to wake up in that energy, to have your coffee with that view. Normalize the life that you want. You know, if you want to be a successful CEO one day, work from a hotel lobby that is the nicest hotel in your entire area, and start seeing people that walk in that have that success. You know, if you want to, you know, have a future self that's coming to you in the future, then journal it and visualize it every single day. Surround yourself with people who have what you want. That's one of the biggest things that I've seen is finding some sort of way to find mentors or people that I can barter with, or people that I can pay to learn from, or people that we have some exchange value. And you start surrounding yourself with people who have the lives that you want, then those lives don't feel so foreign to you. They don't feel out of reach. And what you're doing, once again is you're normalizing the life that you want. You're normalizing it so it doesn't feel like, oh, I hope it happens. Like, maybe if I get lucky, it'll happen. It's like, no, I've been in this energy. I love this energy. I'm going to have this energy. Why? Because when you're around stops feeling impossible, it starts feeling familiar. And that's when your nervous system gives you permission to actually move forward in it. Because it doesn't feel foreign, it doesn't feel dangerous. And so really, this is the reframe that changes everything. When you look at it this way, I hope that it helps you understand. If it feels out of reach, it will be. If it feels normal, it's inevitable. So your job right now is to stop chasing fantasy and really start putting yourself into situations where the life that you want starts to feel more familiar. The test drive the car and get the Airbnb and stay in the hotel or just work in the hotel for a couple days a week. Because the life that you want isn't just, like, about vision boards and goals and all of that. It's about becoming the type of person who says, this will be my life one day, and not hoping that it'll happen. But knowing that it will happen. Because the future that you want doesn't have to feel far away. It just has to feel normal to you. So all in all, the thing that you have to understand is you want to normalize the life that you want. How can you normalize the life that you want? Because once your nervous system stops resisting it and it feels normal to you, your entire life starts to rise to match it. So go figure out how to get into the situations to live the life that you want to be in. The energy of it, to breathe it, to touch it, to taste it, whatever it might be. Walk around in it like it's yours. That is how you normalize the life that you want. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories. Tag me in at robdial Junior R O B D I A L J R and if you want to get some more coaching from me outside of the podcast, more in depth longer sessions, go ahead and go to mindsetmentor.com once again, mindsetmentor.com and I'm going to leave the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an Amazing Day.