The Skill Every Anxious Person Needs to Learn

Summary

The Mindset Mentor – "Keep a Journal Without Fear" with Rob Dial

Date: June 26, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode of The Mindset Mentor, Rob Dial dives deep into the nature of anxiety, explaining why it shows up, how it manifests, and, most importantly, practical strategies for overcoming it. Rob emphasizes that while anxiety is a natural, evolutionarily beneficial response, chronic anxiety can interfere dramatically with everyday life. Drawing from his expertise in neurology, psychology, and cognitive behavioral therapy, Rob discusses actionable research-backed tools like deep breathing, cognitive restructuring, and exposure therapy—plus key lifestyle changes—to help listeners master their mindset and stop feeling anxious about anxiety itself.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Understanding Anxiety (03:17–08:33)

• Normalizing Anxiety

  • Anxiety is a natural response to perceived threat or stress.
  • It’s often the mind projecting into the future, preparing the body for possible danger.

• When Anxiety Is Helpful vs. Harmful

  • Anxiety is beneficial in real threat scenarios (e.g., walking through a dark alley).
  • Chronic or misplaced anxiety (e.g., feeling anxious while watching TV) is problematic.

• Core of Anxiety

  • At its core, anxiety stems from the thought, “I am not safe.”
  • Anxiety often translates into a "threat" to one’s safety—emotional, physical, social, or professional.

  “Anxiety is our brain projecting into the future and telling our body, get ready.”
  — Rob Dial (02:12)

2. How Anxiety Manifests (Physical & Emotional) (07:15–08:33)

• Emotional Symptoms: Worry, fear, irritability, difficulty concentrating, restlessness

• Physical Symptoms: Muscle tension, headaches, sweating, trembling, rapid heartbeat, digestive issues

  “It could be physical symptoms. Muscle tension, headaches, sweating, trembling, rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath. You can even have gastrointestinal issues.”
  — Rob Dial (07:56)

3. Research-Backed Strategies to Reduce Anxiety

A. Deep Breathing (11:13–12:15)

• Ground yourself in the present moment to turn off the fight/flight/freeze response.

• Technique: Inhale for 5 seconds, exhale for 10 seconds.

• Directly calms the nervous system and reduces anxious feelings.

  “The fastest way to change your state is to go back to your breath every single time.”
  — Rob Dial (12:07)

B. Cognitive Restructuring (12:15–14:48)

• Step 1: Identify negative thoughts that fuel anxiety (e.g., catastrophizing over a boss’s email).

• Step 2: Challenge the accuracy and validity of these thoughts.

  • Cites research that “85% of what we worry about never happens.”

• Step 3: Replace negative thoughts with balanced, realistic alternatives.

  “Most of the time, our anxiety, like our thoughts around anxiety, come under the conscious mind, the subconscious. So it’s like—bing—the email from the boss comes through, almost immediately, holy shit, I feel anxious…But there’s always some sort of thought.”
  — Rob Dial (13:15)

  “97% of what we think and worry about and have anxiety over and mull over and ruin our day, 97% of it doesn’t happen or turns out better than we think that it’s going to.”
  — Rob Dial (14:36)

C. Exposure Therapy (14:50–18:29)

• Gradually and systematically face the things you fear until anxiety subsides.

• Break down anxiety triggers into manageable exposures (e.g., preparing for public speaking by practicing alone, then in the intended environment).

• Shine a light on the real root of your anxiety—naming it can reduce its power.

  “Just being able to put it into words and to identify it helps a lot of people feel less anxious. A lot of people feel less anxious after they identify it.”
  — Rob Dial (16:00)

  “This is what exposure therapy is, so you can expose yourself to the thing that’s making you anxious.”
  — Rob Dial (18:32)

4. Lifestyle Changes to Reduce Anxiety (18:32–21:43)

Rob emphasizes that anxiety can be greatly improved with several simple lifestyle shifts:

• Exercise Regularly: At least 30 minutes a day to boost endorphins and promote relaxation.

• Nutrition: Eat whole foods, limit caffeine and sugar, hydrate well, minimize junk food and alcohol.

• Prioritize Sleep: Poor sleep can worsen anxiety—maintain a consistent, quality sleep schedule.

• Reduce Screen Time: More screen time is correlated with higher anxiety levels; replace screen time with walks in nature and meaningful social interactions.

  “So many of your problems will be fixed if you just drink more water.”
  — Rob Dial (20:20)

  “There’s been study after study after study that has shown that people that spend more time in front of screens have more anxiety than those that don’t.”
  — Rob Dial (21:28)

5. Empowering Mindset Takeaways (21:43–22:50)

• Anxiety is not inherently bad—it’s an evolved protective system.

• Chronic, unaddressed anxiety, however, can (and should) be addressed.

• For most people, anxiety can be improved through awareness, cognitive strategies, exposure, and basic healthy living—not necessarily medication or professional intervention (unless severe).

  “Usually, most of us are just anxious because of our thoughts and because it’s just simple adjustments that we can make in our lives.”
  — Rob Dial (22:30)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Segment | Time | |---------------------------------------------------|-----------| | Introduction to anxiety & safety | 03:17–07:15| | Emotional & physical manifestations | 07:15–08:33| | Defining anxiety & why it occurs | 08:33–11:00| | Deep breathing technique | 11:13–12:15| | Cognitive restructuring explained | 12:15–14:48| | The “85%/97% rule” and challenging thoughts | 14:00–14:48| | Exposure therapy—public speaking example | 14:50–18:29| | Simple lifestyle changes | 18:32–21:43| | Concluding takeaways and empowerment | 21:43–22:50|

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Anxiety is our brain projecting into the future and telling our body, get ready.” (02:12)
• “When your emotion is high in some sort of way, your logic is low.” (07:56)
• “The fastest way to change your state is to go back to your breath every single time.” (12:07)
• “97% of what we think and worry about and have anxiety over and mull over and ruin our day, 97% of it doesn’t happen or turns out better than we think that it’s going to.” (14:36)
• “Just being able to put it into words and to identify it helps a lot of people feel less anxious.” (16:00)
• “So many of your problems will be fixed if you just drink more water.” (20:20)
• “There’s been study after study after study that has shown that people that spend more time in front of screens have more anxiety than those that don’t.” (21:28)
• “Usually, most of us are just anxious because of our thoughts and because it’s just simple adjustments that we can make in our lives.” (22:30)

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Tone & Language

Rob’s style is direct, empathetic, practical, and empowering—he emphasizes that anxiety is natural, actionable with evidence-based strategies, and doesn’t have to control your life.

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Final Takeaway

If you struggle with anxiety, remember:

• It’s normal and rooted in your brain’s desire to protect you.
• Practicing self-awareness, calming your body, restructuring your thoughts, gently exposing yourself to fears, and improving diet, sleep, and screen-time can create dramatic improvements.
• You have the power to master your mindset, and therefore, your life.

Share this episode with someone who could benefit—and, as Rob closes every episode:

“Make it your mission to make somebody else’s day better.” (22:50)

Transcript

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It's 512-580-9305. Once again, 512-580-9305. Today I'm going to be talking about your anxiety and how to stop feeling so anxious about your anxiety. Anxiety is on the rise, but anxiety itself is very natural. And so people are like, I want to get rid of my anxiety. And I'm like, no, you want to get rid of certain aspects of your anxiety because anxiety is a natural response to fear, into stress, and to uncertainty and more specifically perceived threats. If you have anxiety when you're walking down, like, you start getting a real anxious feeling when you're walking in the dark going through a crowded, dark room, and you start getting anxious. Well, maybe that's something that's telling you you should be anxious so that you protect yourself. Or if you're going through a dark alley and you get anxious, that's a good thing. But when you're anxious and feel anxiety, when you're sitting in your house watching TV or just hanging out, probably not the best time to be anxious. There's nothing to really fear in that moment. And so it's a good thing for humans because what it is is it is our brain projecting itself into the future and then telling our body to prepare for some sort of possible threat. So think about that for a second. Anxiety is our brain projecting into the future and telling our body, get ready. So at the core of anxiety is the thought of, I am not safe. I need to prepare my body for some sort of attack or to be able to run or to be able to fight or to be able to freeze. And so your safety in some way feels threatened, believe it or not. And so the question is, what does it feel threatened by? That's what you really need to figure out. Need to take a step back when you're feeling anxious and saying, like, where do I not feel safe right now? So if you get. Let me give a couple examples. You get anxious about public speaking, it might show up in sweaty palms and your heart's racing and you start to think about, oh my gosh, I'm getting really anxious about this public speaking that I need to do. The fear behind it might be I'm not safe because I might be humiliated or I have to give a presentation at work. I'm not safe because what if I screw up this presentation in public speaking and then I get fired and I lose my house and then I go broke and they live on the street. That's my safety being taken from me in some sort of way. So my body's preparing for some form of attack. If you start to get real anxious when you go out to social events, it might be like, I'm not safe. I may might say something wrong or I might be rejected or I might be kicked out of the tribe. And so I don't feel safe. And so I. I have this feeling of anxiety when I think about social events. Maybe it's. You were raised by a mother who, like, was really, really worried about health concerns. And so, you know, maybe you get anxiety about your health. And so how it shows up is you're like, excessively googling anytime your elbow hurts or something like that. And so you get body scans or you're doing frequent doctor visits all the time. It was like, I'm not safe because there might be something wrong with me. There must be something wrong with me. I got to make sure that anything that's wrong with me I've got to fix. You know, maybe you're getting really anxious about being late somewhere. So you're rushing and you're frantic and you're sweating and your heart's racing and you're irritable and it's like, I'm not safe because if I show up late, everyone's going to see that I'm late. Others might think that I'm irresponsible and they might not want to hang out with me. So once again, I'm getting kicked out of the tribe again in some sort of way. Maybe you're sitting at work and you're having a great day and you're just putting your stuff together and just writing your emails. You're sitting there and then, bing, a notification from your boss pops up and it says, hey, are you free today at 4? And you just get anxious immediately and you're like, oh, my God, I'm not safe because I might get fired. There must be something that I did wrong. Maybe they're downsizing. Maybe I'm not good enough in some sort of way. I can't lose my job because I got to feed my children. I've got to feed myself, I've got to pay my mortgage. Or maybe you're sitting there and your phone buzzes and it says, mom calling. And you get all anxious, you get all tight. You can feel yourself start to get anxious and you're like, oh, my God, I'm not safe. Maybe there's something going on with her. Maybe there's something going on with Dad. I might have to deal with something stressful. Maybe she tells me that dad fell down the stairs and it's like there's all of these safety and these fears that are there. And so in some sort of way, when you have these anxious feelings, it's. You feel like there's a threat in your environment in some sort of way. It's good to have anxiety when you need it. Like I said, when you're walking through a dark alley to have those anxious feelings to prepare you just in case it's not good. When it's like an everyday, all day kind of thing. Chronic anxiety interferes with your daily life and we need to address it and it can be overcome. That's the best part about it. Anxiety almost always comes from your thoughts. So really, when we feel anxious, we need to take a step back and be like, what was I just thinking? And so we're going to go over some research backed techniques to kind of help you overcome that anxiety, those anxious thoughts, and to be able to pull your body out of that anxiety, that anxious feeling that you have. And so when you look at anxiety, first off, the definition of anxiety itself is a feeling of unease, such as worry or fear that can range from mild to severe. It is normal, an essential human emotion that serves as an adaptive response to danger or challenges. That's the definition of anxiety. So let me say it one more time just so you can understand. The actual definition is a feeling of unease, such as worry or fear that can range from mild to severe. And it is normal and essential human emotion that serves as an adaptive response to danger or challenges. Anxiety can show up in two different ways for you. It can be emotional symptoms. Worry, fear, irritability, difficult concentrating, restlessness. It could be physical symptoms. Muscle tension, headaches, sweating, trembling, rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath. You can even have gastrointestinal issues. So that's how it shows up in the body. And so let me just show you a few ways that you can kind of let it out of the body. Okay. The first strategy is a relaxation technique for reduction of your anxiety. You've heard me say it over and over and over again. Deep breathing. When your emotion is high in some sort of way, your logic is low. You're actually not thinking very well. And we will be right back.

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And now back to the show. And so when you're really anxious, you tap into your fight, flight or freeze. And that's where your animalistic survival part of your brain turns on in your thinking and processing and executive decision making turns off. And so get yourself feeling a little bit better by using the next few strategies where you can calm yourself back down so that you can think the right way, so that you can realize that maybe it's not that much of a threat. So the first thing I always recommend is deep breathing. Because if I'm going to sit there and go, oh my God, I'm anxious. What was I just thinking? What am I fearing? Why do I not feel safe but like I'm not calmed down at this point, it's going to make it really hard for me to think in a smart way. And so deep breathing exercises help activate your body's relaxation response and in turn reduces your anxiety levels. And so it's real simple. I always recommend 5 seconds in, 10 seconds out and it slows your heart rate down. It Releases more carbon dioxide from your body and it lowers your stress levels. So as soon as you start to notice anxious feeling, immediately go back to the breath. The fastest way to change your state is to go back to your breath every single time. Okay? That's the first thing you gotta deal with the body, you gotta calm it down. Then we can start to talk about the thinking side of things and how to change it. Which goes to strategy number two, which is something called cognitive restructuring. It's a technique that involves identifying and challenging negative thought patterns or fears that are contributing to your anxiety. Right? This is where you're gonna be like, well, what was I just thinking? I was thinking this, you know, email from my boss, I'm definitely getting fired. It's like, well, hold on, let me, let me not just go down that road. It might be he wants to talk with me because I've been doing so well. Might be because of the fact that we have a presentation for a competitor to eat a competitor out in a week or something like that. And so what you want to do with cognitive restructuring, it's rooted in cognitive behavioral therapy. And it's been shown to be effective with treating anxiety disorder specifically. So the first thing you're going to do is you're going to identify your negative thoughts. That's the first step, is to become aware of the negative thoughts that fuel your anxiety. Notice when you don't feel good. Become aware of how your body feels. And usually you'll start to notice the anxiety inducing thoughts after you notice your body's reaction to it. Most of the time our anxiety, like our thoughts around anxiety, come under the conscious mind, the subconscious. So it's like bing, the email from the boss comes through almost immediately. Holy shit, I feel anxious. I'm feeling all this anxiety. You don't even notice the thought that is in between the bing and the body. But there's always some sort of thought. And so you have to understand when you take a step back, when you do the breathing and then you say like, what was I just thinking? You'll usually start to notice the thought. After that, you can usually start to use cognitive restructuring. And so what you want to do, that's the first step, is to notice it and all that. And the second step is to challenge the negative thoughts. Once you identify the negative thoughts, evaluate the accuracy of these thoughts. Try alternative explanations, try another perspective. How valid is your thought that is making you anxious? Psychologists have found that 85% of what we worry about never happens. Never. Out of the remaining 15%, only 3% of it happens the way that we think that it will. The other 12% of that 15% doesn't happen as bad as we think. Which means 97% of what we think and worry about and have anxiety over and mull over and ruin our day, 97% of it doesn't happen or turns out better than we think that it's going to. And so it's like, how can I take a step back and use cognitive restructuring to challenge the thought that is giving me anxiety? So that's the second thing. And number three is to replace your negative thoughts. So after you challenge the negative thought, replace the negative thought with a more balanced, realistic thought that can help you reduce your anxiety levels. Okay, I'm starting to notice I'm getting anxious. Why is that? Because my boss just emailed me. What was I just thinking? What am I afraid of? Where do I not feel safe? I feel like maybe my boss is going to fire me. Okay, all right. Is that real? Am I actually going to be fired? Probably not. Is there possibly another explanation for why he's sending me an email about wanting to meet with me at 4 o'clock today? Well, actually, yeah, that does make sense because I was talking to him yesterday about X, Y and Z, and maybe he wants to meet with me about it. Okay, that makes more sense. So that's strategy number two. Use cognitive restructuring. Strategy number three is to use something called exposure therapy. So it's a proven technique that involves gradually and systematically confronting situations or objects or thoughts that you fear until the anxiety subsides in some sort of way. And so this process will help you learn that your fears most of the time are pretty irrational. And it allows you to start to tolerate the discomfort of those fears and the anxiety that you're starting to have. And so what you're going to do is you're going to first off identify what's causing your anxiety. This alone, when you just are able to kind of shine a light on the actual fear or the limiting belief or the quote, unquote lack of safety that you're feeling. Just being able to kind of put it into words and to identify it helps a lot of people feel less anxious. A lot of people feel less anxious after they identify it. And people feel less anxious when they take a step back and they find out what they're anxious about. Which is real funny because most people think they know what they're anxious about, but then they take a step back and they realize that they're not anxious about that thing. They're anxious about the way that they're perceiving that thing or the thoughts around that thing. And so you identify your anxiety inducing thoughts and that alone is in turn can make you feel less anxious. You'd think that it would make you feel more anxious, but it actually makes you feel less anxious because you're like, oh, yeah, it's usually not that big of a deal or it's less of a deal than you thought it was. So maybe you notice that you've had this like underlying feeling of anxiety all week long and you don't know why. You're like, I've just been feeling, it's Thursday and I feel like I've been anxious the past four days. You're not really sure why. Okay, we'll take a step back, breathe. Realize that you felt anxious. Since what time? When did you start noticing your anxiety? Oh yeah, that's right. Since I had the meeting with my boss on Monday. Today's Thursday, and on Monday he told me, I'm going to need to give a presentation for work in two weeks. And I am terrified of public speaking, and I'm even more terrified to do it in front of the entire company. Okay, so that's the first thing is to identify the anxious feeling. And then maybe I give myself gradual exposure to this presentation. And so that's why when you're doing public speaking and you have to give a presentation, try to finish it and then practice it as many times you possibly can, you're trying to expose yourself to it. The same way if someone's like terrified of a snake, you don't want to just take a snake and put it on their lap. But if you have them in one

[D]

room, on the complete opposite side of

[B]

the room, and on the opposite side of the room, they have a snake, they might start to freak out. But if snake is in the box, it can't get out. They might start to freak out. They might start to freak out. Gradually, their body will calm down. Gradually it'll calm down. You bring it a little bit closer. Gradually the body will calm down. This is what exposure therapy is, so you can expose yourself to the thing that's making you anxious. And so what you do is you finish your presentation and what you're gonna do is you're gonna read it out loud maybe 10 times the first day. And then what you're gonna do is you're gonna go home and the next day you're going to practice the entire presentation, you're going to take your slides, you're going to Put it on your TV at home, you're going to present it for nobody, maybe your children's teddy bears when everybody goes to sleep and you're going to go through the entire thing, practice it in your living room with PowerPoint 10 times. Okay, that's a little bit more exposure. Okay, I feel a little bit more confident about this. And then what I'm going to do is maybe the week before the presentation, I'm going to stay late at work one night after everybody leaves and I'm going to practice it in the room that I will be presenting. And I'm just going to practice it 10 times over and over and over again. And then the night before, I'm going to be practicing it again and I'm going to come in early the day of and I'm going to practice it before anybody else gets there. And what happens is I've had so much exposure to this presentation, by the time I actually give the presentation, I've already done it 50 times and I've done it multiple times in the room that I'm actually giving the presentation. The only difference now, besides the fact that it's basically memorized, is that there's humans inside of the seats. This is what exposure therapy to your anxiety will look like. And so that's really where it'll help you. And so that's the three tips, the three strategies to help you with it. There's some simple lifestyle changes that I want to give you guys to help you reduce your anxiety that are just proven that you can do or if you have more anxiety, this is just ways to help. First thing is exercise regularly. Physical activity has been shown over and over and over again to reduce your anxiety. By increasing your endorphins, it promotes relaxation and improves your overall mood. Regular exercise at least 30 minutes per day can have really massive long term benefits on your anxiety reduction. That's the first thing. Second thing is your nutrition. When you have a really good, well balanced nutrition, it manages your anxiety as well. If you have too much coffee gives you more anxiety. If you have too much sugar gives you more anxiety. If you eat too much bags of chips and shit food, it's going to give you more anxiety. So try to eat more whole foods, try to limit your caffeine, try to limit your sugar, try to stay hydrated. Dehydration can actually increase your anxiety levels. So many people just don't drink enough water like so many of your problems will be fixed if you just drink more water, your anxiety, you might have less fat. If you end up doing it, you might have better bowel movements. So stay hydrated. Drink less alcohol. That's another thing as well that will help you. So that's Number two, pay attention to your nutrition. Number three, prioritize your sleep. Sleep is really important. Poor sleep can worsen your anxiety a lot. I don't know about you, but if I have a really bad night of sleep, sometimes I notice that I'm more anxious throughout the day. And so prioritize your sleep. Have some sort of regular sleep schedule. And then the fourth thing that is huge that I recommend that you guys do is spend less time on your phone, spend less time in front of your TVs. There's been study after study after study that has shown that people that spend more time in front of screens have more anxiety than those that don't. Put your phone away, get away from your tv. Go for a walk in nature. Be around people who you want to spend time with. All of these things help with your anxiety as well. And so I just really think that it's important for you to understand that, first off, anxiety is not a bad thing. Chronic anxiety is a bad thing. Anxiety is built into you for a reason. It is a protection mechanism. When it is happening. When you're sitting at your desk at work, what is that protection mechanism trying to protect you from? And then also to understand that anxiety is something that we can all work through as long as it's not a chronic, like actual anxiety disorder. That is something that's happening inside of your brain that is incurable or whatever it might be. Usually most of us are just anxious because of our thoughts and because it's just simple adjustments that we can make in our lives. And so that right there is the ultimate guide to stop feeling anxious about your anxiety. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories. Tag me in Obdial Junior R O B D I A L J R. And with that, I'm gonna leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody el this day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.

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