Summary of "The Moth" Podcast Episode: Andy Borowitz – An Unexpected Twist

Podcast Information

• Title: The Moth
• Host/Author: The Moth
• Episode: Andy Borowitz: An Unexpected Twist
• Release Date: April 25, 2011

Introduction

In this compelling episode of The Moth, humorist and author Andy Borowitz shares a harrowing yet humorous personal story titled "An Unexpected Twist." Recorded live at the World Science Festival in 2008, Borowitz takes listeners on a rollercoaster journey through a severe medical crisis, blending humor with poignant life lessons.

The Onset of Illness

Borowitz begins his story by recounting a period when he and his wife, Olivia, were preparing for a party. He felt unusually unwell, experiencing severe stomach pains, bloating, and constipation—symptoms unfamiliar to him due to his typically regular bowel movements.

• Andy Borowitz [02:00]: "I kind of look like I'm in my third trimester. And I've been constipated, which is weird for me, I've got to say. I just got to tell you this. I am very regular, okay?"

Realizing the severity of his symptoms, Olivia contacts their health insurance hotline, leading them to seek immediate medical attention.

Emergency Room Visit

At the emergency room's triage unit, Borowitz humorously describes the initial assessment process and the ensuing wait.

• Andy Borowitz [03:10]: "The intake nurse...can you rate your pain on a scale of 1 to 10? And I say, 6, which is a huge mistake..."

Despite his significant discomfort, a pain rating of six leads to a delayed response, prolonging his suffering as higher-priority cases are addressed first.

After undergoing an X-ray and a CAT scan, Borowitz is diagnosed with a severe condition called sigmoid volvulus—a twisted colon blocking bowel movements.

• Andy Borowitz [04:25]: "Your colon is twisted. And this is something called a sigmoid volvulus. Basically, what it means is that the colon has formed a knot, and nothing's going in and nothing's coming out."

Surgical Intervention and Initial Recovery

Presented with two treatment options—emergency surgery or a less invasive colonoscopy—Borowitz opts for the latter, hoping to avoid the high risks associated with immediate surgery.

• Andy Borowitz [06:00]: "Shove the camera up my ass. Let's go."

The procedure is successful, leading to a few days of hospitalization to ensure his system is flushed and sterile before the planned surgery under optimal conditions.

Complications Arise

Upon returning home, Borowitz experiences severe vomiting and dehydration, prompting another emergency room visit. This time, his condition has worsened, necessitating urgent surgery.

• Andy Borowitz [10:45]: "I am fucked. I'm like, just bring in the rabbi right now. Because I am so over."

The surgery involves significant intervention, including the removal of parts of his colon, resulting in a temporary ileostomy—a procedure where waste exits the body through an external bag.

• Andy Borowitz [14:30]: "They have taken out two feet of my colon, and I'm thinking, that's a lot of colon to be removed... colon was redundant."

Facing Life-Altering Changes

Borowitz candidly discusses the emotional and physical toll of his condition, highlighting the challenges of living with an ileostomy and the abrupt changes it brought to his life and marriage.

• Andy Borowitz [16:00]: "I have lost £25. I've got, like, supermodel legs, and I look like a scarecrow with this bag of shit."

Despite these hardships, Borowitz emphasizes the support from his wife and the resilience he developed through the ordeal.

Recovery and Life Lessons

The story culminates with Borowitz's successful reversal surgery, allowing him to return to normalcy. Reflecting on his experience, he shares profound life lessons about appreciating every moment and cherishing loved ones.

• Andy Borowitz [17:50]: "You don't really believe that or know it or feel it until your life is almost taken away from you... Now what I do every morning when I get up, I do two things... Look out the window... Then I look in the other direction and I look at my beautiful wife sleeping next to me."

Conclusion

Andy Borowitz's An Unexpected Twist is a masterful blend of humor and vulnerability, illustrating how extreme adversity can lead to deeper appreciation and personal growth. His ability to find levity in dire circumstances offers listeners both laughter and inspiration, embodying the essence of The Moth's storytelling ethos.

Notable Quotes

• Andy Borowitz [02:00]: "I am very regular, okay? And I know that sounds like bragging, but as we age, we wear that like a badge of honor."
• Andy Borowitz [04:25]: "Your colon is twisted... it's like midtown."
• Andy Borowitz [10:45]: "Just bring in the rabbi right now. Because I am so over."
• Andy Borowitz [16:00]: "I look like a scarecrow with this bag of shit."
• Andy Borowitz [17:50]: "You don't really believe that or know it or feel it until your life is almost taken away from you."

Final Thoughts

Andy Borowitz's poignant narrative serves as a testament to the human spirit's capacity to endure and find meaning amidst chaos. Through his storytelling, listeners are reminded of the fragility of life and the importance of gratitude and love.