Podcast Summary: The Moth – Andy Borowitz: Just The Facts

Episode Overview In the "Just The Facts" episode of The Moth podcast, comedian and writer Andy Borowitz recounts his tumultuous experience writing for the 1980s television show The Facts of Life. Through a candid and humorous narrative, Borowitz delves into the challenges he faced as a novice writer navigating the creative landscape of a struggling sitcom. This story offers insights into the complexities of television writing, creative expectations, and personal growth within the entertainment industry.

Introduction to Andy Borowitz and His Early Career

Andy Borowitz opens his story by reflecting on his early career in the 1980s, marked by unconventional choices and less-than-stellar decisions. He humorously admits to past indiscretions, such as repeatedly shouting "Everybody Wang Chung tonight," setting a tone of self-deprecation and honesty.

Andy Borowitz [01:48]: "I did a number of things in the 80s that I'm not very proud of... But there is one thing I did in the 80s that was so heinous I've never told anybody about it until tonight."

Borowitz explains that in 1984, he secured a writing position on The Facts of Life, a show he openly criticizes as "the worst television show ever produced." Despite his disdain for the show, his primary motivation was financial necessity.

Andy Borowitz [01:48]: "Given how monumentally it sucked, you may wonder, why did I write for the TV show? Well, quite frankly, I did it for the money."

First Day and Creative Aspirations

On his first day, Borowitz observes the environment of the writers' room, noting the presence of Facts of Life logo mugs—a symbol of incentive and appreciation from the show's star, Charlotte Ray, who played Mrs. Garrett. This detail underscores the small perks and unspoken motivations behind the scenes.

Andy Borowitz [02:50]: "Charlotte Ray... would reward the writers by giving them Facts of Life logo mugs. And the better job that you did, the more mugs she would give you."

Eager to make a positive impression, Borowitz pitches his first story titled "Gamma Gamma or Bust," centered around the protagonist Blair's attempt to join an exclusive sorority. The executive producers, however, challenge him to find a "fact" or moral lesson within his narrative—a concept that leaves Borowitz feeling unmoored, as he is not accustomed to infusing his comedy with deeper meanings.

Andy Borowitz [04:30]: "She said, well, that's an interesting story, Andy, but what's the fact?... They think they're doing fucking Moliere here."

Struggles with Creative Direction

Borowitz grapples with the producers' expectations, struggling to align his comedic style with the show's mandate for moral lessons. After agreeing on the theme "be yourself," he attempts to incorporate humor by giving the characters "funny things to say." However, his efforts are met with disappointment.

Andy Borowitz [06:15]: "They were disappointed in it... you didn't get Tutti."

The criticism centers on his character development, specifically the indistinguishability between two characters, Tutti and Natalie. Borowitz defends his writing, suggesting that differences in physical attributes (e.g., one being overweight, the other being Black) should aid audience differentiation. Despite his defense, the producers remain unsatisfied, leading to his exclusion from further scriptwriting.

Andy Borowitz [07:45]: "I held my tongue. And I sort of said, well, maybe these sounded kind of similar because they're both kind of, you know, sarcastic characters."

Final Attempt and Ultimate Failure

Determined to salvage his position, Borowitz is paired with two other writers, the "Two Gems," to create a futuristic episode showcasing the characters 25 years later. Confident in his comedic instincts, he pitches a zany scene involving a leveraged buyout and the inclusion of George Jetson, a fictional character from The Jetsons.

Andy Borowitz [09:20]: "There's no fact here. There's no moral lesson. It's just unbridled wackiness. It's a romp."

The scene fails to impress the producers, who attribute its lack of coherence to Borowitz's influence during its creation. Recognizing his detrimental impact, Borowitz becomes marginalized within the show's writing team.

Conclusion and Reflection

On his last day, Borowitz discovers two Facts of Life coffee mugs left on his desk—a gesture he interprets as a sign of Mrs. Garrett's recognition of his efforts, despite the show's overall poor reception.

Andy Borowitz [11:00]: "I wondered, is there any moral that we can derive from this, any deeper truth that you can all take away from this story? I think it's just this. Which is the only thing worse than being a whore is being a whore and totally sucking at it."

Borowitz concludes with a stark realization of his inadequacies as a writer for the show, using humor to underscore the lesson learned from his failed stint at The Facts of Life. His closing remark serves as a candid and humorous moral of his story, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and competence in one's professional endeavors.

Key Takeaways

1. Navigating Creative Expectations: Borowitz's experience highlights the challenges writers face when their creative instincts clash with established production mandates, especially within structured environments like television writing rooms.

2. The Importance of Feedback: Constructive criticism, though difficult to receive, plays a crucial role in personal and professional growth. Borowitz's interactions with producers illustrate the impact of feedback on shaping creative output.

3. Humor as a Tool for Reflection: By employing humor, Borowitz effectively conveys his personal failures and lessons learned, making the story both entertaining and insightful.

4. Self-Awareness in Career Choices: Recognizing one's strengths and limitations is vital. Borowitz's admission of being the "worst writer" on a notoriously poor show underscores the value of self-awareness in career development.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• On Writing for a Subpar Show:

  “Given how monumentally it sucked, you may wonder, why did I write for the TV show? Well, quite frankly, I did it for the money.”
  [01:48]

• On Producer Expectations:

  “She said, well, that's an interesting story, Andy, but what's the fact?... They think they're doing fucking Moliere here.”
  [04:30]

• On Character Differentiation:

  “I held my tongue. And I sort of said, well, maybe these sounded kind of similar because they're both kind of, you know, sarcastic characters.”
  [07:45]

• On His Final Realization:

  “Which is the only thing worse than being a whore is being a whore and totally sucking at it.”
  [11:00]

Conclusion

Andy Borowitz's "Just The Facts" narrative serves as a humorous yet poignant exploration of the pitfalls of early career decisions and creative mismatches. Through his storytelling, listeners gain an appreciation for the complexities of television writing and the personal growth that arises from professional failures. Borowitz's candid recounting not only entertains but also imparts valuable lessons on resilience and self-awareness.