Dan Kennedy (0:00)

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Bonnie Levison (1:09)

Welcome to the Moth Podcast. I'm Dan Kennedy. This podcast is brought to you by Audible.com the Internet's leading provider of audiobooks with more than 100,000 downloadable titles across all types of literature. For the Moth listeners, Audible is offering a free audiobook of your choice. When you try audible free for 30 days, you may like to consider selecting Adam Gopnik's new book, the Table Comes Family, France and the Meaning of Food. Adam is a regular storyteller for the Moth and you can listen to him discussing the culinary journey from 18th century France to White House kitchens and beyond. That's the Table Comes first by Adam Gopnik, and it's available on Audible. To try Audible Free today and get a free audiobook of your choice, go to audible.comthemoth that's audible.comthemoth okay. And now this week's story, which was told by Bonnie Levison live at the Moth at Central Park Summer Stage in 2011. The theme of that show was Big Night.

Bonnie Levison (2:25)

My husband Jack and I had recently separated and my friend Margie thought it would be good for me to get away. So she invited me to join her family on their vacation in France for a week. I was really excited about it and I made all my plans and then my husband called and he said that he had this important business trip that came up and it happened to fall on the same week as my trip. His business had to come first and I was disappointed, but we had three kids and I didn't want to leave them alone. So I canceled my trip. Jack and I had been married for 16 years together almost 20. We had our ups and downs, but for the most part, our marriage was pretty good. I did worry about him, however. He had lost his parents when he was young. He struggled with his work, and for as long as I'd known him, he'd always struggled with his weight. But a few years earlier, he had decided to get it under control and he joined a gym near his office. He even committed to working out with a trainer named Chris three times a week. I was so proud of him. I knew our separation was just temporary. He needed some space, some time apart to appreciate me, to miss me. And he did. I was right. Because when he was on that business trip, he called me. I didn't expect to hear from him really, but the phone rang and it was him. And I was worried that maybe something was wrong, but when I answered, he just asked me, how are you doing? Anything going on at home? Anybody call? And I hung up and thought, wow, he really does miss me. What I didn't know was the afternoon of that call, my friend Margie, the one who was on the vacation in France, was walking down the beach and she saw my husband with his arm around his mistress. She thought that rather than going up to the table by herself, it would be much more fun if she went and got her entire family and they all went up to the table together, which she did. She got her husband and her sister and her brother in law and her mother, and they all went right up to that table. And after an incredibly uncomfortable hey there, and what a small world it is, she looked at him and in all seriousness, said, I give you two weeks. If you don't tell her, I will. When he arrived at JFK airport, he called me immediately. And I thought, oh my gosh, he really misses me. And he said he wanted to come over and talk to me. So he came over and we went outside and sat on the porch. And he told me that he'd been seeing someone. My heart dropped. But I knew that he had to date people to appreciate me. And then he told me who he was seeing. It turns out his trainer, Chris, was a girl and she was 17 years younger and he was in love with her. When he told me who it was, I realized this was not someone he had just gone out on a couple of dates with over the last couple of months. This had been going on a very long time. I Felt this volcano of rage bubbling up inside me. And I stood up and I said, please leave. In that moment, everything in my life changed. I went upstairs and I sat on the edge of my bed. And it might have been five minutes, it might have been five hours, I don't know. Because time stopped. I played this movie of our lives in reverse. The last three years. I was trying to find the signs that I had missed. How could I have been so blind and so stupid? I wasn't anyone really to go looking for bad news, but I had to find evidence that my marriage was really over. I remembered that he'd left some stuff in our closet. And I went into the closet and I sat on the floor and I went through everything. I found a little piece of paper that normally I would have just tossed. It was a dry cleaning receipt. And at the top of it it had Kris full name in big black 1 inch letters. And I held that piece of paper and I realized I had never known her last name. And then it had her address. West 78th Street. Oh, that's a block from where we lived together when we were first in New York. And then it listed her blouses and her dress and his shirts and his pants. And as I looked at that paper, I realized that it represented this life that they had together that I knew nothing about. I hated him, but I really hated her. And I had never even met her before. I imagined what it would be like when I finally met her and what I would say to her. I would tell her what I thought of her and I wondered when that day would come. And it was coming. Jack and I had a dear friend who died of AIDS in the early 90s. And we were both very involved with the foundation that his parents started. And to raise money, we had a big benefit every couple of years. There was no doubt in my mind that both of us would be there. I had been working on the benefit that was coming up for the last year and I was very excited about it. He called me up to tell me that he was coming and that he was bringing Chris and that, by the way, they'd like a nice table. I thought, this is going to kill me. This is just going to kill me. My friends knew what I was going through and they were not going to let me suffer that night. They swooped down on me like a reality TV makeover. SWAT team. They were going to redo everything and they were going to find me a date. It was like the Bachelorette meets what not to Wear on Overdrive. They redid my underwear, my clothes, my hair, my makeup. And they were going to find me a man. It was a little embarrassing. With the number of phone calls that they made. You would have thought that I was dying of some dreaded disease and they needed to get me laid just one last time. But they found Robert. He was tall, dark and handsome and in fact, impeccable. Unlike anybody I had certainly ever dated in my life. But he was a real gentleman and we went out on a couple of dates and he was really nice. And so I asked him to be my escort for the event. The night came and I was excited about it. The event was going to take place at an old theater in Port Chester, New York, and the B52s were playing. It was going to be great. The theme was this retro surfer thing. And I remember I wore this brown silk mini dress and these white go go boots that I had gotten from a thrift shop. And my friend had loaned me this full length crazy white plastic fur coat. I probably looked like some six foot tall albino chia pet, but I. But I felt pretty. And we arrived at the event and it was all happening. It was great, but I could feel my heart beginning to beat and my palm sweating because I was going to see her for the first time. We ended up going to the table and I put our table at the way back of the theater, as far away from their table as could be. And their table was right in front, next to the stairs to the stage. And we sat down at the table and I could see them entering and going, heading down towards their table. And then suddenly I felt like I was in my own little bubble and the party was going on all around me. But in my bubble was all my rage and anger and anxiety. And I realized I was going to have to meet her because her table was right by the steps of the stage. And I had to go up on that stage and say a few thank yous. I sat there and I thought, I'm just going to tell her what I think of her. I am going to humiliate her, I am going to rip her dress off and I am going to pull her hair. And when it was time, I stood up and I said, you can do this one step at a time. And I made my way down to that table and I walked up to her and I said, you must be Chris. And this girl turned and looked at me and she was a cute little brunette and she seemed too sweet to be a home wrecker. And in that moment I realized I can't do that. It's not who I am. I said, I'm Bonnie. And I offered her my hand. I shook her hand and I said, it's nice to meet you. And shaking, I walked up the steps to the stage and I stood at that microphone in this ridiculous outfit that I was wearing. And I could feel her eyes on me. And I realized it was the first time she was seeing me, too. And I said my thank you to the caterer, the people that donated the wine. And my friends in the back were applauding and cheering and way overcompensating, as if I were Mick Jagger who just finished a set. And I realized that I was so not alone in that room. I had so much support. And she may have had my husband, but she was alone. And I went back to my table and I sat down and I had my first drink of the night and it tasted great. And the B52s started playing. They play that song, Rock Lobster. It's awesome. And the entire, all 500 people in this theater leapt up to their feet and they descended down to the dance floor. Robert looked at me and he took my hand and he said, come on, let's go. And we went down to the dance floor and started dancing. And I couldn't take it because I could see them out of the corner of my eye, dancing together, having fun. And I took his hand and I said, I can't stay here. And I pulled him to the back of the theater. And the balcony was shut off, but I knew how to get up there. And we went up into the darkened balcony. And we sat there all by ourselves in the dark. No one could see us, we were just in the dark. But we could see everything happening below. And for the first moment that night, I had this sense of peace. And the band played and suddenly they went into their finale, which is one of my all time favorite songs, Love Shack, one of the great songs. And I couldn't help myself. I just leapt up to my feet and I went into the aisle and I started dancing. And Robert came with me and we were dancing and he suddenly stopped. And he took my face in his hands and he pulled it towards him and he kissed me. And it was this gorgeous, beautiful kiss. And he kissed me in a way that I hadn't been kissed in a very, very long time. And I just melted into this kiss. And I could feel all the anxiety and anger that I had been feeling just falling away. And as we're kissing and just enjoying this amazing moment and the music's playing, in the background. Suddenly the music stopped mid song. But I didn't care. We just kept kissing. And I I heard Fred, the leader of the B52s saying something. I still didn't care. But suddenly it looked like the house lights went up and we stopped kissing and we turned around and we realized that the Entire Theater, all 500 people, were looking at us because they had turned the spotlights on us. And then Fred, the lead singer of the band, says, well, I guess somebody around here needs a love shack. Love shack, baby. And then suddenly all 500 people started applauding and cheering and whistling. Except for two. And I could see them. They were just stuck. The night ended. I eventually had the nerve to go downstairs and my friends were there and they high fived me. And in that night everything changed again for me. I realized I was going to be fine. You just have to get on with your life. And I did. Thank you.