Boris Timanovsky: Aunt Lilly’s Teeth - The Moth

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Aunt Lilly’s Teeth" by Boris Timanovsky on The Moth

Episode Information:

Title: Aunt Lilly’s Teeth
Host/Author: The Moth
Storyteller: Boris Timanovsky
Release Date: May 4, 2009
Recorded At: New York Grand Slam, March 2009
Theme of the Night: Now or Never

Introduction to the Story

In the episode titled "Aunt Lilly’s Teeth," Boris Timanovsky shares a heartfelt and humorous narrative about family dynamics, parental exhaustion, and the challenges of welcoming extended family into one's home. Set against the backdrop of a newborn baby, Boris navigates the complexities of protecting his wife and child from well-meaning but intrusive relatives.

Family Tensions and Visitor Announcements

Boris begins by recounting a Friday evening phone call from his mother informing him that Aunt Lilly would be visiting the next day to see his four-month-old son, Joseph. He immediately anticipates his wife Elena’s frustration with the constant influx of family members:

Boris [02:15]: “And I knew that my wife Elena would say that we've been having too many visitors recently and that instead of getting rest she'll have to entertain my relatives again...”
[02:15]

Boris expresses his internal struggle about how to shield Elena from the relentless family demands while also managing his responsibilities as a new father.

Preparations and Miscommunication

Determined to minimize the disruption, Boris takes proactive steps to prepare for Aunt Lilly's visit. He assures his mother that they will handle the cleaning and provides sufficient food, even humorously mentioning they have "caviar" ready for her:

Boris [04:05]: “And no, Grandma, we have enough food for Aunt Lily's visit. You don't have to get on the bus and come over and bring us food. And what kind of food we got, we got all kinds of food. We even have caviar.”
[04:05]

However, despite his efforts, a missed phone call leads to a critical oversight. Elena takes the call, asking about the color of the caviar, inadvertently undermining Boris's defensive measures:

Boris [05:10]: “And that's how the shielding I was doing got completely nullified.”
[05:10]

Aunt Lilly’s Unintended Mishap

Upon arrival, Aunt Lilly immediately sets a lighthearted tone by interacting playfully with Joseph. This quickly takes a concerning turn when Aunt Lilly, struggling with uncomfortable dentures, accidentally bites the baby:

Boris [06:30]: “And then she accidentally bit the baby. And the baby is crying...”
[06:30]

Aunt Lilly's distress escalates as she blames the dentist for her dentures slipping, leading to a heated exchange between Elena and Boris about seeking medical attention for Joseph.

Conflict and Resolution

The tension peaks as Aunt Lilly becomes increasingly agitated, threatening to sue the dentist and causing further stress for the family. Boris contemplates the practicality of their situation, questioning whether a minor injury warrants an emergency room visit:

Boris [07:20]: “And I'm wondering, how am I going to explain to the nurse there how this wound came about?”
[07:20]

With Uncle Misha’s intervention, Aunt Lilly is finally removed from the immediate scene. However, the incident leaves both parents reflecting on their relationship and the sacrifices they've made:

Boris [08:00]: “Maybe this is the best chance I'm ever going to get to make up for all the sleepless nights and for these phone calls and for the pains of childbirth...”
[08:00]

In a touching conclusion, Boris watches as Elena carefully preserves the remnants of the ordeal—a symbol of their enduring love and commitment amidst family chaos.

Final Reflections

Boris's story encapsulates the unpredictable nature of family interactions, especially with the added pressures of new parenthood. His narrative weaves humor with vulnerability, illustrating the delicate balance between maintaining familial bonds and protecting one’s immediate family from unnecessary stress.

Notable Quotes and Moments

Anticipating Visitor Stress:

“I felt like she's under a siege by my family with the never-ending visits and the phone calls...”
[02:30]
Humorous Preparedness:

“And what kind of food we got, we got all kinds of food. We even have caviar.”
[04:05]
Realization of Efforts:

“And that's how the shielding I was doing got completely nullified.”
[05:10]
Parental Reflection:

“Maybe this is the best chance I'm ever going to get to make up for all the sleepless nights...”
[08:00]

Conclusion

"Aunt Lilly’s Teeth" is a compelling tale that highlights the trials of balancing family expectations with personal well-being. Boris Timanovsky masterfully conveys the emotional rollercoaster of new parenthood, the exhaustion of constant familial obligations, and the small moments of connection that reaffirm the strength of his marriage.

For those who haven't listened to the episode, Boris's story offers a relatable glimpse into the universal challenges of family dynamics, making it a memorable and engaging listen on The Moth.

Transcript

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Dan Kennedy (1:22)

Welcome to the Moth Podcast. I'm Dan Kennedy. The Moth features true stories told live without notes. All stories on the podcast are taken from our ongoing storytelling series in New York and Los Angeles and from our tour shows across the country. Visit themoth.org the story you're about to hear by Boris Timinofsky was recorded live at the New York Grand Slam in March this year. The theme of the night was now or Never. The Moth Story Slam is a storytelling competition. Upcoming dates and themes are@themost.org show up with a five minute true story. Ten names will be picked at random and one of them might be yours. Right now we have slams in New York City and Los Angeles, but we'll be adding new cities this fall, so stay tuned.

Boris Timinofsky (2:09)

When my son Joseph was four months old, my mom called one Friday evening and she said that Aunt Lily was coming over tomorrow to see the baby. And I knew that my wife Elena would say that we've been having too many visitors recently and that instead of getting rest she'll have to entertain my relatives again and that she feels like she's under a siege by my family with the never ending visits and the phone calls and the inspections and the interrogations and what am I gonna do about that? And when am I gonna stand up to my family and start shielding her? And while we're on the subject, when am I gonna start coming home from work sooner? When am I going to start getting up at night when the baby is crying. And I tell my mom, are you sure this is a good idea? Didn't they just say on the Russian TV that there is an outbreak of something very contagious in exactly that part of New Jersey where Aunt Lili lives? And my mom says, I thought you said you don't watch the Russian tv. And she also said that Aunt Lili lives in Long island, not in New Jersey. So I tell Elena that we have a visitor tomorrow. And she says all these things that I knew she'd say. And I tell her, you're right, I am going to start getting up at night when the baby is crying, and I am going to start shielding you from my family starting tomorrow. And I wake up tomorrow morning and I'm thinking, good, the baby slept well through the night, didn't cry at all. And then Elena tells me that it was I who slept through the night and that she had to get up at least three times. So I'm thinking, okay, I'll do a better job shielding her, as I promised. And every time the phone rang that morning, I picked up the phone and I said, no, mom, we'll clean the apartment ourselves before Aunt Lily comes. You don't have to come over and clean it. And no, Grandma, we have enough food for Aunt Lily's visit. You don't have to get on the bus and come over and bring us food. And what kind of food we got, we got all kinds of food. We even have caviar. And then I miss one phone call. I miss one phone call. And Elena has to answer it. And it's grandma calling to ask the follow up question of what color caviar, red or black? And that completely nullifies all the shielding I was doing. So Aunt Lily comes over and the first thing she does, she announces that her grandson Misha, who had just driven her from Long island, had first taken her to her Brooklyn dentist and that the new dentures she got there don't feel very comfortable. So she's not going to eat anything so good. I guess I don't have to open the caviar after all. And Elena brings in the baby from the bedroom and she puts him down on the sofa. Aunt Lily sees the baby and she bends over and she lifts up his shirt and she starts blowing air on his tummy. And Joseph is giggling and Aunt Lily is making all kinds of funny sounds and Elena is rolling her eyes because there is no way anyone on her side of the family would ever do anything like that. But then Joseph's giggling turns into crying. And it seems like Aunt Lily is having a tough time detaching her face from Joseph's belly. And then eventually she lets go, and it looks like there is some blood in his belly. And the sounds that Aunt Lily is making are not funny anymore. She reaches into her mouth and she pulls out her dentures. And she says in a different voice that something is wrong. It's all the dentist's fault. That it felt like one of the dentures was sliding out of place. And she tried to stop it from falling out. And she accidentally bit the baby. And the baby is crying, and Elena is looking for the first aid kid. And Aunt Lily starts calling the dentist all kinds of really nasty Russian names. And Elena says that we have to take him to the emergency room. And I say, why to the emergency room? It's only a small cut. She says, you never know. I tell her, if this was one of your relatives who bit the baby, would you still be taking him to the emergency room? And she says, you know my relatives don't bite babies. And I say, and I say, oh, really? So we bicker for a while, and the baby is crying. And Aunt Lily, she says she wants to sue the dentist. And she's asking for a Russian Yellow Pages so she can find the lawyer. And she's getting so agitated that I'm beginning to worry that I'm going to have to make two trips to the emergency room instead of one. I'm trying to reach Misha on the phone. He's not picking up. Eventually, he picks up the phone and he comes over and he takes Aunt Lily away. And Joseph is still sobbing, and Elena is still determined to go to the emergency room. And I'm wondering, how am I going to explain to the nurse there how this wound came about? But then Misha calls from the car, and he says that Aunt Lily can't find the upper denture. And she thinks that maybe she left it back in the apartment. So can I look for it? So I looked around, and of all the places, I found it, on top of the refrigerator. And I was going to call Misha, but Elena was standing right there, and she was holding Joseph. And Joseph noticed Aunt Lily's teeth, and he stopped crying, and he reached for them. So I rinsed it, and I let him hold it for a moment. And he looked perfectly happy. And I thought, if only it was this easy to make Elena happy. And then I realized that she's staring at those teeth in Joseph's hand. And I thought, well, maybe this is what it takes. Maybe this is the best chance I'm ever going to get to make up for all the sleepless nights and for these phone calls and for the pains of childbirth and for all the inconveniences of pregnancies, all these things that no flowers or diamonds will ever make up for. So I hesitated for a moment, but then I called Mish and I said, I'm sorry, I can't find it. And Joseph played with those seeds for a little while, but I think Elena understood that this trophy was hers because after he went to bed, she put those seeds in a Ziploc bag and in a shoebox where she kept all kinds of trinkets and keepsakes that looked totally unimportant to me, but I'm sure all were very, very important to her. Thank you.