When I was about 11, my father and I began a ritual of going to the Thallion movie theater. Today, my parents were divorced. My parents were divorced. Every Saturday he'd pick me up and we'd go to the cinema. And there was amazing films there. And that's when I fell in love with cinema. And usually there were a lot of French films, and they had a lot of people who smoked and who suffered and who talked a lot. And even at 11, I actually identified with those people and quickly took up smoking, which sadly, I still do. But even when I grew up in circumstances, started working in the movie business, I hated the screening thing. When you work in the movie business, you sound like it on, like a thousand lists. Come to this screening, Come to this screening. And the thing with screenings is you go to the movie and there's always a million people from the business there. And you always know everyone. You usually know the director. You can't really laugh or you don't know how to react. Everyone's very suspicious and paranoid about it. And it just takes the joy out of it for me, I have to admit. So ironically, even though I spend many years in acquisitions, I still love going to the movie theater. So it was on one such Saturday night that with three of my closest girlfriends several years ago, I was with Nancy, Tess and Beth that we decided, let's go see a big Hollywood movie. And we went up to the Sony Lincoln Square on 68th street to see as Good as It Gets. And we got there early, and we got our seats and we got our popcorn, and we were all set. And the trailer thing started with the commercials, like 20 minutes before, but the lights are still on. And you're like, yeah, but we're all settled in, at which point, of course, the teenage girls are up. And these were horrible, horrible girls. And they were tough. And there were two of them, and they were with a guy. And they sit right in front of us. There's many seats, but they sit right in front of us. And as many of you know, in the Sony Lincoln Square, the chairs move back and forth and back and forth, and they go in front of me. So I have to start rocking back and forth, back and forth and smashing into my legs. And I look at Nancy, and she Looks at me, and I lean over, and I say, excuse me, could you say, stop rocking because you're really hurting my legs. And she looks at me, and she does it harder. And now I say to Nancy, what should I do? She said, I don't know. I don't think you should do anything. So I lean over, and it's intolerable. And I say, I'm really sorry, but you're really hurting me. Could you stop? At which point she turns from my head. She goes, this fucking bitch, Betty. Step off. Who does she think she is? And everyone turns, and Nancy and I look at each other. But what I forgot is that I was with Tess and Beth, who, unlike us, had got major balls. And Tess looks at the girl and she goes, excuse me, did you kiss your mother with that mouth? Nancy and I were, like, totally horrified. We're like, oh, my God. And the girl goes, what did you say? She goes, I said, you kissed your mother with that night? And she just starts freaking out. At which point, my friend Beth takes her feet and with every ounce of energy that she has, slams him into this girl's chair. And the girl literally goes. Lands somewhere in the next row. And Beth goes, shut up and sit down. At this point, Nancy and I are, like, sinking into our chairs. This is Nancy, by the way. And we're like, what should we do? The usher comes. He goes, what's going on here? And the audience who's on our side says, those girls are causing trouble. They ask the teenage girls to leave. They escort them out. The movie starts. Nancy and I, during the movie, I say, do you think they're waiting for us? She says, I think they are. What? You pretend? I said, we better ask Tess. I look over. Tess and Beth, totally engaged in the movie, like it never happened the entire film. Nancy and I are, like, panicking, sweating, strategizing, whispering, figuring it out. The movie ends. They start to leave. Nancy and I go, wait, you guys. We have to plan our escape. And they're like, what are you talking about? And we're like, the girls. What girls? The girls that we got kicked out of the movie theater that you told to shut up and insulted their mother. And they're like, tessa, there's four of us and two of them. What are you worried about? And I'm thinking. I think I was in a fight once in, like, third grade with somebody. The kid literally punched me in the face, and I never got up. So I'm thinking, that's not gonna work, Tess, you know, And Bess is like, yeah, what are you worried about? I'm from New Jersey. Don't worry about it. So Nancy and I are like, well, we think we should go at the side entrance. We should definitely get immediately into a cab. And what if they have a weapon? And Tess goes, look, when you're really afraid of someone, what you do is they start harassing you. You lean in really close and you go, I'm gonna kill you. And then when they look at. What did you say? You go, what? I didn't say anything. Because that way she says, they know that you're crazy and that they don't want anyone to know but you. So we were like, okay, well, I guess let's give it a shot. We go out of the theater, sure enough, they're not there. Nancy and I were like Ducksie, you know, like Taylor. And it was like the most humiliating experience because I feel like I'm such a wimp. I'm a New York City kid. I'm a tough kid. I thought I was kind of a tough kid. I went to public school, and here I am, like, totally, along with Nancy, you know, intimidated by kids half our age. So I'm thinking about this as I'm on the plane going to the Cannes Film Festival for the first time. Because it's always been a dream of mine to go to Cannes. And I've been asking around and I've gone to the TV festival several times, but it's not like the film festival, which is like, to me, just the brass ring. And I'm finally getting there. But a lot of my friends have told me, being a mic call, I tell so many people and they're like, now listen, the French are really difficult in Canada. A lot of rules, and you gotta follow them. And you gotta be. Have balls, you gotta be aggressive, you gotta have moxie, and you gotta push your way through. And I'm like, okay. And I'm thinking about the movie incident. I'm like, I'm gonna just get in there, land. And I'm like. And then my boss had told me, jonathan, he said, don't. Don't wait till it registers. The day after. It's too crowded. Drop your bags off, you'll be jet lagged. Go straight to the accreditation hall. And I'm like, that's what I'm doing. And I was up all night on the plane. I was so nervous. I was really jet lagged. So I'm running over the accreditation hall and I run into this guy, Gil Holland, who most of you probably know now is sort of A fairly successful independent film producer. But at the time, Gil worked in the French film office in New York, and he represented sort of French cinema here. And so he was part of Unifrance. And I run into him and he goes, oh, hey, I'm glad we ran into each other. You should come to the Unifrance Club and get your VIP buyer's card. And I'm like, vip buyer's card? Wow. That's okay. Come today, because tomorrow it's going to be a madhouse. I'm like, I'll be there. And I go to Quotation, and I went in line. I mean, it's like a nightmare. Like, five hours later, I have my badge. Don't lose your badge. And if you lose your badge, you'll never get another badge. And if anyone has your badge, you'll never be. I mean, it's like, okay, got the badge. So now I'm going to look for the Unifrance Club. And I literally spent like a half an hour lost in the Palais, which is this huge building. It's like the Javits center, but of film. I end up back in the same exact place I started. And I'm just so tired and I'm so exhausted, and I don't even care. I'm like, moxie, moxie, moxie. And I know what to talk about. It's a very snotty woman. And I just say, look, you know, say parlez vous anglais. And she doesn't even say anything. I go, dead Liza. I'm looking gil from Unifrance, and she says, gil who? And I'm thinking, I can't believe that I have just found out a girl's last name. Oh, my God, what is it? What is it? So instead I go, gilles. I'm thinking, you know, in French, it's Gilles. She says, gilles Jacquot. And I say, yeah, Gilles Jacob. Because to me, it sounds like, yes, that's a familiar name. It must be Gil's name. Really sound like his name. But yeah, Jill shot come. And she says, and you know Jill? I said, yeah, I know him. I just ran into him, like, half an hour ago. He told me to come by and get my buyer's car, my VIP buyer's card. She says, you know Gil. You know Gilles? And I said, yes, I just told you. So she disappears in the back. She comes out with this security guard. I'm like. He's like, come with me. I follow this man to the back of the Palais, down this very long hallway in this private elevator. I'm like, oh my God, who knew that Gil was so hooked up? Whatever. I guess I'm really good thing I know I'm sober. We get upstairs, it's the most beautiful office you've ever seen. And there's, you know, it's like huge desks and like beautiful receptionists and like, you know, plants and huge movie posters and photographs, actual photographs that were taken of, you know, Francois Truffaut and Jean Pierre Leo and Jean Luc Godard and all my heroes. And you know, I'm just like, wow, this is amazing. So I go in and I go down here to see Jean Jacquot. And the woman says, you know him? I said, yeah, I know him. And I'm here to get my VIP buyer's card and I'm not leaving without it. She says, well, do you have an appointment? I said, I don't need an appointment. I just ran into him on the street on the Quasit. And he told me to come here and get my VIP card. And she says, well, it's impossible because he's in a meeting. And I said, interrupt him. And she says, but that's. I said interrupt him. Believe me, it's no problem. She says, well, give me your badge. I said, fine. I hand her my badge. She walks in the back. I'm thinking, this moxie thing is really working out. Otherwise I'd have to spend like a whole day there. And I'm there. I'm looking around the office and I notice this photograph on the wall. Bernardo Bertolucci, one of my favorite directors, sitting at the top of the red carpet steps, which is the big to do in Cannes, next to an older gentleman. And I think, oh, there's Bertolucci with Joe Jacob, the director general of the Cannes Film Festival. And then I say, and that's whose office I met. So at this point, I really just don't know what to do. And I look at the other receptionist and I say, I need a terrible, terrible. At which point the other woman comes out in hysterical tears and she says to me, you're insane. What is wrong with you? And I say, I am so sorry. I am. I have made a terrible. I know a terrible. And she's like, you're crazy. You're insane. And I'm saying, I know I have made, but the whole time my eyes on that badge. Cuz I can't lose that badge. And she's not giving it back to me. And as I'm saying, she's saying I'm insane and I'm Saying, I'm so sorry. I lunge across the desk and I grab the badge and I run out of the office and I run into the elevator, which miraculously is there, And I'm pressing 0, whatever that is in France 1 0. And I get out of the seat level and I'm running down the quasiag and I'm literally freaking out. At which point I run into Colin Brown, a dear friend who's also a very well respected film journalist who edits a paper called Screen International, which is like the most important trade in canon. He knows every in and out there is to know a fan. In fact, he knows Jacob himself. And he says, what's wrong? And I tell him the entire story and he says, oh my God, I might ban you for that. And I went, oh my God. And I just run back to my hotel room and I close the door and I close the drape and I contemplate unpacking, but then think, why bother since I'll be banned in the next hour and just be escorted back to the Nice airport anyway. And I lie in my bed and I wait for the phone call to come and I think, no, they won't call me, they'll just come with a security guard. I go, no, I know what they'll do. They'll call my boss, Jonathan, and then he'll have to fire me because of how much I shamed the company. And I'll be banned from Kent. And the festival hasn't even started. And the minutes turned to hours and the day turned to evening, probably about 7:00. I've probably been up now for like 40 hours. No one's called me and no one's coming. And I realized that not only am I not banned, but actually nobody cares I'm there. In fact, I'm probably the most insignificant person at the festival. And then I remember Tess and I think, okay, Caroline, as I fall asleep to start an actually quite amazing week. I think if they come for me when they're escorting me out, I'm going to lean in real close and I'm going to say, I'm going to kill you.