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- [00:00]
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- [01:10]
Dan Kennedy
Welcome to the Moth podcast. I'm Dan Kennedy, and today I am joined in the studio by Ophira Eisenberg. Hey, Ophira.
- [01:17]
Ophira Eisenberg
Well, hello, Dan.
- [01:18]
Dan Kennedy
How's it going? Oh, you know what, before we get started, actually, this week we're asking for your help. If you enjoy the podcast and you love Moth stories, then please chip in with a $10 donation by just texting mothmoth to 20222. That's texting moth to 2222. It's really easy. And your support allows us to continue sharing great stories every week. So please text us moth to number 20222.
- [01:47]
Ophira Eisenberg
You can even gift that, right? You can do it for someone on their phone when they're not looking.
- [01:51]
Dan Kennedy
Yes, you can. You can just pick up their phone and text MOTH to 20222. It's like. It's like one of those infomercials where we have dialogue and then I keep driving home the point. So let's get to why we're really here today. Both ofira and I have been hosting moth story slams here in New York City for, well, we'll just say a lot of years.
- [02:11]
Ophira Eisenberg
Many.
- [02:12]
Dan Kennedy
And today we want to introduce stories from two of the new story slam cities.
- [02:17]
Ophira Eisenberg
I know they keep multiplying. Yes, they people love the slams. And in the fall, the moth the launched new slams in Portland, Boston, Milwaukee and Seattle.
- [02:27]
Dan Kennedy
And Milwaukee and Seattle were on the same day. So we had to divide forces. Yes. Today we're going to hear one story from each city. First up is Katharine Smaika from Seattle.
- [02:39]
Ophira Eisenberg
So what was the first slam, by the way? Like, in Seattle? Like, where was it?
- [02:42]
Dan Kennedy
It was kind of amazing. It was in Fremont. I used to live in Seattle, like, a long time ago. Of course you did, and I didn't. It was really cool. The venue was an old abbey. And I'm not sure. I don't really know much about religion, so I don't know what an abbey is, but I think nuns. I believe that is where nuns and monks. Yeah, nuns and monks do Christmas there.
- [03:06]
Ophira Eisenberg
That's where they have meals and parties.
- [03:09]
Dan Kennedy
Yes, that is where they have meals and parties. But the. As you know, in Seattle, the nuns and monks have formed Internet companies now and no longer need an abbey. So we had a gig there.
- [03:21]
Ophira Eisenberg
They're just reselling clothes on ebay. Is that what they're doing?
- [03:24]
Dan Kennedy
Which is huge.
- [03:25]
Ophira Eisenberg
It's huge. Okay, so is it stone?
- [03:28]
Dan Kennedy
Stone theater. It's like. It's wood, but it's giant and cool. And they have, like, different performance areas. They have, like, a downstairs theater. They have an upstairs theater. And it was really cool. And the people are really sweet that run it, and they have shows there. And so, yeah, we went there, and literally, the green room has a stone fireplace in it. And there I am sipping brandy next to it in J. Crew corduroy, about to host a slam. Yep. Waiting to do my little comedy stuff. Okay, let's listen. The show in Seattle is sponsored by kuow, and the theme was nerve. This is Catherine Smaika live at the first ever Seattle Moth story center.
- [04:13]
Katharine Smaika
So for a long time in my family, there was a spoken understanding that my grandmother refused to watch the Ellen DeGeneres show because the host was a lesbian. And she used to say, the nerve of that woman, being all gay in public like that. And my relatives used to joke about it at family dinners. And there was an unspoken understanding not to tell my grandmother that I was a lesbian. My uncle had said, you know, she's pretty old already, so you should just, you know, wait it out until she just walks away. So it became like another kind of family joke, like, don't tell grandma that Katherine's gay. And in college, I had this rainbow bracelet that I used to take off when I went into her house, even though I knew she wouldn't know what that meant. And sometimes she'd walk into the kitchen, and I'd be telling a story about a girl I was dating. And all of a sudden, like tone of town a very G rated and be like, she's such a nice friend. And then it was just exhausting though. And like, the coming out process did feel very freeing if I was keeping secrets. And so anyway, so I, you know, the challenge with my grandmother was nerve wracking, but she and I had that in common because she was no stranger to challenges. She had moved all the way across the country to be with her husband, who ended up dying really early. And she raised 12 kids, mostly by herself. She never finished school. And she. I just, like, I didn't want to be one of those challenges because I thought that'd be really lame, like having a queer granddaughter, like, what are you going to do with that? So she. So anyway, so whenever we hung out, I was a total nervous wreck. And so it was late summer, about two years after coming out, and a bunch of people were at grandma's house. And the summer had been like, long and wonderful and full of this woman that I loved so much. And I was just sitting on the back porch smiling and thinking about her. And Grandma came outside and I think we were talking about how my younger sister was about to get her driver's license, which is already like a terrifying thing. And then I asked her about how she and my grandfather met. It's a story I've heard a billion times, but I love hearing it again. She got the smile and she was talking about what Grandpa was like in his early 20s and about their slightly sneaky courtship, because I learned a couple years back that she basically conned a priest into setting her up on a dinner date with my grandfather, which I thought was adorable and hilarious. And so she was telling me about him. And she has great stories, but mostly I love watching her talk about him. And I can tell that she still remembers exactly how his hand used to fit in hers and the intensity of his scent. He smelled like pipe tobacco and mint. And it's been over two decades, actually, since he passed away. And I know that she's thought of him every day. And she's telling me about him on the back porch that day. And she said, he was the best man I know. So you need to find yourself someone like that. Someone who will love you and respect you and tell you you're beautiful and. And someone to bring home to meet the family for family dinner. And without thinking, I said, well, I think I already have, Grandma. And then I was like, oh, my God, I said that out loud. So I was like, I don't know what to do. And I was like, she's going to kill me. And, like, what's going to happen?
- [07:49]
Ophira Eisenberg
Oh, my God, I'm a lesbian.
- [07:50]
Katharine Smaika
She's going to kill me. And so she said, is he a nice boy? And I said, yes, she is a very nice lady. And the two of us looked at each other for a long time, and I have no idea what was running through her head, but mine was going something like, why are you still sitting here? Like, run. She's actually going to kill you. And she reached over and patted my hand and said, well, you tell her to come around any time, all right? And I was like, what? And. And she. I looked over, and she had this smile on her face that meant she was thinking of my grandpa. And she said, you're my granddaughter, and I love you so much. And you should know that there will always be a place at my dinner table for you and whoever you love. And I, like, wanted to cry, and I wanted to hug her and also wanted to make sure that she knew I was telling. Telling her I was gay, to be clear. But she said she just kept looking at me and patting my hand. And so I was like, thank you. And since then, grandma is the first to reprimand anyone who tells a gay joke. And my uncles are actually the worst offenders. And when someone says, like, okay, so a queer walks into a bar, she is the first to just slap him upside the head and tell him to cut it out. And every once in a while, I will even see the Ellen DeGeneres show playing in the living room. Because as it turns out, Ellen DeGeneres is not the only woman around that house with a lot of nerve.
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Ophira Eisenberg
That was some nice stuff.
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Dan Kennedy
That was sweet, right?
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Ophira Eisenberg
So heartwarming. I love the imagery, by the way, of pipe tobacco and mint. Can't find a man like that anymore.
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Dan Kennedy
I'm glad that's what you took from that. So, like, that, like, for the whole back end of that, you were sitting there going, wow, tobacco and mint.
- [10:03]
Ophira Eisenberg
Where'd he get the mint, though? But she ended her story with a line that referenced the theme of the night. Yeah, I thought the best use of that that I've almost ever heard.
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Dan Kennedy
Yeah, it was really sweet. I was just struck by that story and how basically, by the time we're, like, 90, we'll all be good people who aren't cynical.
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Ophira Eisenberg
You finally just go, all right, yeah, I give in to be reasonable.
- [10:27]
Dan Kennedy
I'll be decent and cool. That was Katherine Smyka. She's a writer in Seattle and founder and Editor in chief of Tour magazine, a quarterly publication about experiences in the queer community. Catherine is also a freelance writer at the Stranger. And you can look for her upcoming memoir, the Rules of Being a Lesbian. So that was a little sliver of Seattle. Everyone was so great that night. Tell me about Milwaukee. What was that show like?
- [10:55]
Ophira Eisenberg
I will admit that at my night, too, everyone was great. And there was a sense, too. We were in a place called the Miramar Theater. It's a historical theater. There was a lot of cool stuff on their programming. They had some sort of, like, vaudeville circus going on one night and a lot of cool music, cute little theater. We met the guy that owns it, Bill States. He was, like, hanging out, you know, it was like, would you like a glass of wine? Really welcoming. So people came in and they were in the theater. And there was a sense that some people knew what they were there for, and some people had no idea or had an idea, but didn't know what it would sound like. So it was really fun, right? That sort of hesitancy and excitement, excitement and all this going on and the show starts. And I have to say, it was one of the most. You know, I don't want to overuse. Heartwarming. But I was so connected with every single one of these storytellers, I think, because they had so much heart that they were just throwing on the stage, very honest. It was really vulnerable. We had, you know, a firefighter telling a story. There was a defense attorney. People were really taking risks. There was an amateur stripper. You know, we went from one spectrum to the other.
- [12:00]
Dan Kennedy
I love that.
- [12:01]
Ophira Eisenberg
And the audience is going through it, and they are being transformed by what's going on. And then you watch the people on stage, some of them who have been on stage before, some of them who haven't ever, and they are really taking a big risk by telling the story.
- [12:15]
Lisa Schultz
And it's.
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Ophira Eisenberg
And it's not so much a confession or a page from their journal. You know, they put together stories, and it was fantastic.
- [12:21]
Dan Kennedy
I just want to say, too, that for all the emotional growth that I experienced during a moth show, as soon as I get back to New York in my apartment, I regress. So I just sit on the couch eating candy, staring at Netflix, trying not to feel. So I need to keep doing these gigs.
- [12:37]
Ophira Eisenberg
I love that the moth is sort of like your support. It's a source of support group for your emotions.
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Dan Kennedy
Makes me human.
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Ophira Eisenberg
Together we're like, let's make them human again. So our winning story from that night was actually from Grandmother. The Slam series is co sponsored by Wisconsin Public Radio and the theme that night was nerve. So let's listen to Lisa Schultz from the first ever mock story slam in Wisconsin.
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Lisa Schultz
My husband Mike and I have an Airedale terrier named Sadie. We love Sadie as only empty nesters can love their dog. Now we were both married before and brought into our marriage children and our kids have expressed jealousy over Sadie because A, well, A, B, C and D. Sadie has both her parents with her. Isn't that cute? One of the highlights of our week is we always take a good long walk with Sadie on Sundays. And I'll have you know tomorrow is Sadie's third to last chemotherapy treatment. She is in total remission. Yay, Sadie. Thank you. Thank you. And on Sunday mornings it's our habit to take a long walk with Sadie. These days we walk down to Starbucks where we all rest for a little bit. Sit outside no matter what the weather. We're the fools there in January, sitting outside with our Moncas. And then we walk home again. We used to go to the dog park in Wauwatosa. I don't know if any of you are familiar with it. It is on the site of the old county grounds where they had the orphan, the orphanage, the what was nicely called back then, the insane asylum, the county poor house. And there are at least four paupers cemeteries out there. It's a great place to walk. There's the big open area with all the frozen dog poop in the winter, the melting dog poop in the spring and the icky dog poop in the summer. Then there's a lot. There's a huge wooded area where it's not by any means old growth, where the, the trees are still in the plastic buckets. This is a huge wooded area where all the trees are still in plastic tubs like you would buy at Steins. So I think it might also have been the county forestry nursery. There are abandoned concrete walkways and curbed roadways. There's ginormous and beautiful concrete staircases that majestically descend into what I assume were formal gardens. So he used to love to go out there. Sadie could run around off leash. We'd walk around through these woods and these pathways. We would often end up at the one and only pauper cemetery that we have been able to find. And being the detectives we are, we found it because it's kept fenced and marked. Pauper's cemetery. Near the cemetery is a pond. I don't think it's natural because it's perfectly rectangular. But it was a good place for. I don't know. But I grew up in a small. We never had square ponds, but there are always geese and ducks on the pond and Sadie would like to chase them. So one winter's day, one February day. But it was one of those February days that give the promise of spring. You know, those days, it's warm, but you still have to dress for winter because it is winter and because this is Wisconsin. But you knew spring was going to come probably by June 5th or so. The skies were blue. The sun was shining. It was above freezing. It was nice out, but we had to dress for winter. I had the old lady boots on because I'm an old lady. And you know, the kind with a really icky fake fur around the top. And I had one of those poofy winter jackets on. It was red. So we walked. We went down to the pond. Sadie chased the ducks and the geese off the ice. And then she saw open water, so she went to get a drink. Sadie walked up to the edge. The ice broke. Sadie went in. This is our favorite. We call her the Good Daughter. She's in the water, dog paddling. She does not swim on purpose. She likes to wade, but she does not swim on purpose. And she's got those big old eyes and she's looking, mom, dad. And she puts her little paws up on the ice and it breaks. And she puts her little paws up on the ice and it breaks. Now, I don't know. This is a fairly young audience. I hope you've all seen the movie It's a Wonderful Life. It's a wonderful movie. But in the movie, little Harry Bailey falls to the ice. All the kids make a human chain. The army crawl out on the ice. They reach out a shovel to a little Harry Bailey. He grabs on. They pull him in. I've seen It's a Wonderful life at least 30 times. I know what to do. Two problems. There's only me and Mike. We don't have a shovel, but this is the good daughter. I am on my belly on the ice. I army, crawl out on the ice. Mike doesn't swim, so he's not even part of the chain. God knows, at this point in time, my whole vision is kind of tunneled. Right. You've had that happen. I'm looking at the good daughter. I'm out on the ice. I'm crawling, crawling. I reach out, I touch her collar. The ice breaks. Now it is February. I'm in the water. I'm dog paddling, too. We're Both dog paddling. Now the vision's getting really small because I'm going to die. So I grew up in northern Minnesota where everybody took Red Cross swimming lessons, or you would die going to school because you're running over lakes all the time. In order to pass the Red Cross intermediate swimming lessons, I had to be able to dog paddle or paddle with just my feet and hold my fingers up like this for some ungodly. It was probably two minutes, but I'm knowing that I'm going to eventually have to hold Sadie's head above water while I'm paddling with my feet, while my husband Mike tries to figure out what to do. So I'm paddling, paddling, paddling. And of course, I put my hands up the water, the ice breaks. Put my hands up, the ice breaks. And through that panic, through that fog, I hear a voice, and it's Mike. And he's saying, honey, stand up. No, wait, wait, wait.
- [18:59]
Katharine Smaika
Stand up.
- [19:00]
Lisa Schultz
If I stop paddling, I'll sink. I'll drown. And he just wants my money. I put my feet down and I feel muck, the kind of muck that will grab you and drag you in. So I paddle, paddle, honey, stand up. Put my feet down a little further. I feel solid earth. I stand up. I look, Sadie's on the ice, shaking off, running to Daddy, say, daddy, look what Mom's doing. I walk to shore. Boats filled with water jacket. I learned something that day. Next time you feel like you're over your head, you're drowning, you're losing your nerve, just stand up.
- [19:48]
Ophira Eisenberg
That was Lisa Schultz. She is originally from Aitken, Minnesota. I believe that's the name of the town. But now she resides in Wauwatosa, Wisconsin. She likes places with weird names, and she's there with her husband, Mike, the dog, or the good daughter Sadie, their cat, Isis. And they have four amazing children, six seriously awesome grandchildren. And her ipod is filled with books and stories, including, of course, the Moth.
- [20:14]
Dan Kennedy
In the coming months, we hope to feature some stories from our other two new slam cities, which are Portland and Boston.
- [20:21]
Ophira Eisenberg
And because people can't get enough, how could they possibly get enough of this? Dan, there's going to be more. There's more in January.
- [20:27]
Dan Kennedy
January.
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Ophira Eisenberg
San Francisco. You know what that means if you're in San Francisco, I'm going to be the other place, which is going to be Minneapolis.
- [20:35]
Dan Kennedy
Minneapolis.
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Ophira Eisenberg
Exciting.
- [20:37]
Dan Kennedy
Also sending a hello and lots of love to Los Angeles, Chicago, Detroit, Ann Arbor, Louisville, and Pittsburgh, too.
- [20:46]
Ophira Eisenberg
Wow. It's like we're taking over, but don't forget where it all started.
- [20:49]
Dan Kennedy
That's right, New York City, right here, where it all began.
- [20:52]
Katharine Smaika
Wow.
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Ophira Eisenberg
Dan Kennedy is our podcast host. When he's not at home on Twitter. He is a regular Moth Story Slam host and the author of Rock on An Office Power Ballad.
- [21:02]
Dan Kennedy
And joining me in the studio today, Ophira Eisenberg, who's also a regular Moth Story Slam host. And she is the host of NPR's new quiz show, ask Me Another. That was so fun. I'm so glad we got to do this together.
- [21:15]
Ophira Eisenberg
I am forever grateful and appreciative. I hope we get to do more Twin City mods. Thanks, Dan.
- [21:22]
Dan Kennedy
We thank you all for listening and.
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Ophira Eisenberg
Hope you have a story worthy week.
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Dan Kennedy
Podcast audio production by Paul Ruest at the Argo studios in New York. The Moth Podcast and the Radio Hour are presented by prx, the Public Radio Exchange, helping make public radio more public@prx.org.