Loading summary
Transcript9 lines
- [00:00]
Rosetta Stone Advertiser
As we approach the end of the year, I'm thinking about the next. Next year is the year I finally make my Spanish better than my 9 year olds. Rosetta Stone is the most trusted language learning program available on desktop or as an app, and it truly immerses you in the language that you want to learn. I can't wait to use Rosetta Stone and finally speak better than my 9 year old who's been learning Spanish in his own way. Rosetta Stone is the trusted expert for 30 years. With millions of users and 25 languages offered spoken Spanish, French, Italian, German, Korean. I could go on fast language acquisition. Rosetta Stone immerses you in many ways. There are no English translations, so you can really learn to speak, listen and think in that language. Start the new year off with a resolution you can reach today. The Moth listeners can take advantage of this Rosetta Stones lifetime membership for 50% off visit rosettastone.com moth that's 50% off. Unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your Life. Redeem your 50% off at rosettastone.com moth today.
- [01:08]
Toyota Advertiser
Toyota's Legacy has been standing tall for generations. From pioneering hybrid technology to redefining the standards of safety and efficiency, each innovation a renewed commitment to progress. And with Toyota's legendary lineup of trucks in stock at your local Toyota dealer, you can experience the legacy for yourself. So check out the ultra rugged new 2024 Tacoma built for off road adventure or everyday practicality. Or test drive a heavy Duty half ton 2024 tundra, decked out with modern tech and comfort with a haul anything attitude. And both Tacoma and Tundra are available with the I Force Max hybrid powertrain, giving your truck more power than ever before. Quality, reliability, efficiency. That's the legacy of Toyota. Visit buyatoyota.com the official website for deals to find out more or stop by your local Toyota dealer today.
- [02:06]
Dan Kennedy
Toyota let's go Places welcome to the Moth Podcast. I'm Dan Kennedy. By now you've heard it a few times in your headphones, but I'll tell you again that the Moth is a non profit organization and you also know that it features true stories told live on stage without any notes. All stories on the podcast are taken from our ongoing storytelling series here in New York and also Los Angeles, Chicago and Detroit shows. We also use stories from our tour shows across the country when we're on the road. If you'd like more information about the Moth, check out the site themoth.org this week we have two Grand Slam champions from different Cities. Our Grand Slams are competitions between the winners of our weekly stories. And remember, since all Slams are open mic, you never really know what a storyteller is going to say. First is Courtney Belanti, who won the first ever Detroit Grand Slam on September 23, 2010. The theme of the night was When Worlds Collide.
- [03:08]
Courtney Belanti
Thank you. All right, so you can all remember when you're in high school and you're a teenager and, you know, everyone would go to leave school or the movies or something, and everyone's parents would be waiting quietly in the car for him to get in and drive off. And I would come out and my dad would be doing tai chi, like, right in the middle of the parking lot. I'm like, shit, you know, like, oh, so. And he also only had, like, three rules for us girls growing up. Don't cost me money, don't inconvenience me, and don't come home pregnant. Which I never did the last one. But the other two, you know, everything a teenage girl wants to do cost you money, and it's going to inconvenience you. But these were not my mother's rules. These were my father's, which he so graciously gave me many mothers. His first wife was a born again Christian, his second wife was a Christian, and his third and current wife is Jewish. But the amazing thing is he accomplished all this by being atheist or agnostic. I'm not really sure because he would say he's neither. He really hates labels. So I'm 17 now and I have my first serious boyfriend. We've been going out for four months, so it's really serious and it's time for me to meet his family. And I walk into the house and it's like I'm on the set of, like, Leave it to Beaver. Like, he's raised Catholic and his parents are still married to each other and they still like each other, which, wow. And they really strongly believe that, you know, you should wait till you get married to have sex. Which took a little convincing, but I was able to convert him on. And even though I might not have been his first, like their first or second or short list of people he would date, they were always overly gracious to me and overly nice to me, and they were just great folks. But it was time for him to meet my family. He's met my mom, but my dad calls one night and he's like, why don't you and your boyfriend join me and my girlfriend, who ended up being his third wife, at the Oasis in Ann Arbor. Which is a hot tub place that you can rent by the hour. And it's, you know, I really. I love my dad. All. All of his angst aside, I really am proud that he is who he is and screw everybody else. And he's made me who I am. I feel like I'm an open minded, twisted sense of humor type of person. And I love that about myself. So I think it's a weird way to meet my dad. But any way you meet my dad's probably going to end up being weird. He makes the place sound really cool. There's like this private changing area for everybody each party. And the hot tubs are built into the ground. And it's the middle of winter, so there'll be snow everywhere around. So I'm like, okay, we're gonna meet him. So we get there, my boyfriend and I have our, like, suits on under our clothes. Cause we don't know exactly what the changing situation's gonna be. So we arrive and we're like taking off our clothes and folding them. And my dad says, you guys are wearing suits? Like, shit. I'm just like, shit. No. Fuck no. And yeah. I look up. Oh, God. Yep, they're taking off their clothes, but they're not putting anything back on. So I can't look at my boyfriend. I'm just like, get our asses in the hot tub. So we get in the hot tub and we're sitting there and thank God there's some bubbles. So you can't like, quite see in the water. So they get in and I'm just like, make eye contact. Eye contact, eye contact. Like, look him in the face. Look him in the face. Eye contact, eye contact. Everybody but my boyfriend, because I can't look at him, because I have no. That's just bad. Like, even if I was alone, this would really suck. But at least no one would ever, ever, ever, ever, ever know. But no, I'm not alone. I'm with my very Catholic boyfriend, who I'd be willing to bet a million dollars has never even seen his mother's butt cheek. His mother would actually probably be appalled. I just mentioned her butt cheek. But no, we're in a very small body of water with my very naked dad and a woman I've only met like, a handful of times. And, like, just make eye contact. Eye contact. I'm just like, think of a reason how do we get the hell out of here? How do I make our exit quickly? And I'm like thinking, you know, I have no idea what the rest of the conversation was that whole night, it's, like, all blacked out. But so I'm like, okay. Between the heat and the utter humiliation, I'm thinking I'm going to die of heat stroke at any minute, so that's going to be my excuse. But apparently, I wasn't the only one who was hot that evening. Because right when I was about to make my excuse, his girlfriend just jumps up on the ledge. And not in the most ladylike fashion. And it's eye level, so. Oh, shit. So that's really bad. So I'm like, okay. So I make my excuses really, really quickly, and we get the hell out of the tub and get in the changing room. And in, like, quiet, unspoken agreement, we just put our clothes on right over our wet clothes because we brought dry clothes. But we realized at any minute, they're gonna follow us in. And trust me, when you're 17 or any age, last two people you want to see naked are these two people. So we get our asses in the car, and I still can't look at him. I'm just like, I really like this boy. And it was like, nice. Why it lasted. I don't know what he's thinking. I don't want to know what he's thinking. It's just really bad. Looking back on it, I keep thinking, was this some kind of test, you know, to see if he would fit in our world, which is really just my dad's world, I realize. And it's like, population, like two people. But we don't really discuss it. And some people might say he failed this test, and some people might say he passed it. But on October 23, we'll have married 11 years. We have. We have three beautiful children, the youngest who is only three months old. And they love all of their grandparents, and they are truly the best of both worlds.
- [08:38]
Dan Kennedy
Courtney Belanti is a wife and mother of three from Brighton, Michigan. Her hobby is couponing, and she gives club classes in how to get started. She credits her dad for helping her be the type of person who can get up and tell a story and for a lot of great material. Next up is Stephen C. James, the winner of our LA Grand Slam. In March 2010. The theme of the night was uncharted territory.
- [09:10]
Stephen C. James
I am completely and utterly unqualified to do my job. I'm a middle school teacher and I teach drama. I used to teach English, but then I got fired. There was a budget cut, and my boss came to me and said, okay. The district has said that because of the numbers, we're going to have to let you go, but you're a really great teacher and we want to keep you on. And Lynn's pregnant and she doesn't want to have a baby and have to direct plays. So you're going to be our new drama teacher. And I went, I have a job. And he said yes. So I was cool. I was great. But I realized I had not done any performing or anything since high school, which had been quite some time at that point, and I realized I didn't really know what I was doing. And I was also taking over for Lynn Roedacher. Now, you don't know Lynn Rodaker unless you came here to see me, but she is an amazingly brilliant and creative and kind and loving woman. I refer to taking over for Lynn as finding out that you're the new J. Okay, everybody has seen Charlotte's Web, right? Everybody's seen Charlotte's Web. You've read the book, blah, blah, blah. The last place you did before I took over for her was a production of Charlotte's Web. We've all seen it a million times. I cried at fucking 8th grader Hogan Henderson in a pig suit. That's how good this play was, right? And I have to somehow manage to maybe not top that, but not fuck that up, which for me is difficult. So I grew up in Texas, and in Texas, unlike here, where there's not football, you know, there's like sort of a more aggressive mentality. And I thought, okay, I'm gonna bring a little bit of Texas to this. I'm gonna be like the drama coach. Like, I'm gonna be the one that gets these kids, like, mentally tough and like, physically prepared and like ready to fucking go when they've gotta put on that production of Sleeping Beauty, right? So I go into it with like this mentality and I'm. I'm spending hours and hours after work prepping lessons. I'm going out on the weekends and I'm having to do things like shop for makeup and little girls dresses. And really I'm painting sets, which I'm terrible at. I'm doing construction, which is a joke. I'm doing everything. And I'm becoming a very angry human being. I call my best friend Steve, who lives in Texas, and I'd be telling him stories about. I don't wind up being the hero in this story, by the way. I'm telling him stories about me assigning push ups to the kids for not having their lines memorized. I'm telling them stories about throwing chairs not at Students, but still throwing chairs in front of kids. I'm telling them stories about the time I threw a roll of duct tape across the auditorium and into the window of the spotlight booth at two of my techies and shouted, be quiet. I tell him at the time I kicked a prop fireplace into splinters because a dress went missing. And my best friend's response to this is, who are you? Because that's not who I am. That's not who Steven is. That's who Mr. James is. And that guy's an asshole. But I can't avoid him because I got a fucking show to put on. And there's a James Baldwin quote that I learned from my friend Bonnie. That is, children seldom obey their elders, but they never fail to imitate them. My little angry chickens were coming home to roost. Because the last night, the last night of our play, right? We only do two productions of the show. It's four shows a year. The last night of our play, there's a fight between two of my girls in the dressing room. A fit. Physical altercation, pushing, shoving, swearing, name calling. And I can't do anything about it because it's in the girl's dressing room. So I send in this random high school girl to calm things down, and I gather the entire cast and I bring them all in there, and I give, like, the inspirational hockey speech. Like, I'm like, come on, guys, we're in this together, and we've worked so hard, and we are so close. And we are gonna go out there and we're gonna put on a great show. And there's high God fives and hugging, and everybody's like, oh, my God, this is so great. And it lasted for about seven minutes before Karen, who played the spider. Yeah, you might not remember that from Sleeping Beauty. It's a middle school play. They're terrible. Karen, who has a crush on Patrick, Patrick says none of this would happen if Karen wasn't being a bitch. Karen overhears this. Karen, all four foot seven of her, walks up to me, her eighth grade drama teacher, and says, this fucking play is fucking bullshit. And I'm going fucking home right fucking now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So. But the thing is, she doesn't go home. Somebody talks her off the ledge, right? And we put on the show and it's fine. It's fine. It's a middle school play. It's fine. And that's what started the process of me learning that, like, there's never a review of a middle school play that says, middle school play. Loathed. By all you know. Nor is there a review of a middle school play that says peace achieved, Sleeping Beauty lives. And it began my realization that I have to be more Stephen than Mr. James, because the line between the world's best middle school play and the world's worst middle school play, there's not a big difference.
- [15:04]
Dan Kennedy
Stephen C. James fled Texas in 1999 and moved to LA, where since 2000 since 2003 he has run the drama program at an area middle school, directing over a dozen plays featuring the awesomely Awkward and the Awkwardly Awesome. He's also a devoted member of the Los Angeles sketch and improv community. If you enjoyed today's podcast, you can see all of the Grand Slam winners from the last year tell speedy versions of their winning stories on Tuesday, November 16th at this year's Mothball. Details for this year's Mothball are coming soon. By the way, the Moth is coming to New Orleans in October for our show called A More Perfect Stories of Prejudice and Power. That's part of our collaboration with USA Network and their Characters Unite campaign to combat all forms of discrimination. You can buy tickets now@smartticks.com the moth is a non profit organization. Consider supporting our free podcast by going to our podcast contribution page or by becoming a moth member@themoth.org Our podcast host.
- [16:12]
Rosetta Stone Advertiser
Dan Kennedy is the author of the book Rock An Office Power Ballad. Learn more@rockonthebook.com thanks to all of you.
- [16:20]
Dan Kennedy
For listening and we hope you have a story worthy week. Podcast Audio production by Paul Ruest at the Argo Studios in New York Podcast hosting by PRX Public Radio Exchange helping make public Radio more public@prx.org.