The Moth Radio Hour: "Facing the Music: Stories about Coming to Terms"

Date: April 21, 2026
Host: Suzanne Rust
Featured Storytellers: EJR David, Mary Furlong Coomer, Karen Kibara, Colin Channer

Episode Overview

This episode of The Moth Radio Hour features four compelling, true stories centered on the theme of “coming to terms”—with pain, faith, family expectations, abuse, and shame. Each storyteller shares a moment where reality demanded they face their fear, their past, or themselves, ultimately transforming pain or misunderstanding into insight and growth. The stories traverse different cultures, ages, and emotional landscapes, but collectively highlight the human journey toward healing, voice, and reconciliation.

Key Stories and Insights

1. EJR David: "Finding My Voice"

[02:53 – 14:52]

Summary

EJR David, a Filipino immigrant and psychologist, explores the high tolerance for pain he inherited from his family and community—not just physical, but psychological. He recounts a powerful memory of crossing the US-Canada border, where he is targeted by a border officer because of his ethnicity, and how his ingrained silence in the face of racism gradually unravels. A later, humorous encounter with a bear while camping serves as a catalyst for EJR to finally try using his voice, setting him on a new path of advocating for himself and others.

Key Discussion Points

• Cultural Stoicism: EJR learns early from his mother to "stay strong and not complain," seeing endurance as resilience.
• Racism and Silence: He details microaggressions and overt racism experienced as a Filipino immigrant, and his instinctual silence in hopes of protecting the “American dream.”
• The Breaking Point: The border incident with a US official shakes his beliefs:

  "Are you sure you've never murdered anybody?"
  — EJR David, recalling the border officer’s interrogation [08:25]

• Metaphor of the Bear: Confronted by an actual bear, EJR realizes that “opening my mouth to make noise isn’t really my thing,” yet this experience unlocks the analogy between keeping quiet about racism (the “virus” in America) and his illness as a child:

  "I need to let this fever out... so that we can all heal together."
  — EJR David [13:50]

• Healing Through Expression: He concludes that even a “whimper” is a beginning, and he finds empowerment in finally “making noise.”

Notable Moment

"Even when I'm feeling really weak and feeling helpless... that all I can muster is a whimper, even when I'm feeling insignificant, I am not. I have a voice and I've been making noise ever since."
— EJR David [14:30]

2. Mary Furlong Coomer: "A Thorough Little Girl"

[19:30 – 24:55]

Summary

Mary offers a humorous, bittersweet story from her Catholic childhood about preparing for her first confession and communion. Overly thorough and fearful of hell, she confesses every sin in a little book—some she didn’t even understand—to the priest, inadvertently holding up the entire confession schedule. Mortified, she decides to do penance herself, drawing from the examples of self-abnegating saints she’s been taught to admire.

Key Discussion Points

• Scrupulosity and Fear: Religious guilt and an overactive conscience at age seven drove Mary’s actions.
• Saintly Models: She is both inspired and disturbed by stories of saints like Rose of Lima, who performed painful penances:

  “Many saints... were blessed with a strong desire for self-abuse and not the good kind. So there was all manner of flagellation and crowns of thorns.”
  — Mary Furlong Coomer [20:55]

• Literal Confession: Mary lists every sin from her book in confession. The next day the nun obliquely shames her for being "thorough":

  “We are a little behind on our confession schedule because we had a very thorough little girl…”
  — Sister Catherine Albert, as recalled by Mary [22:35]

• Homemade Penance: She plunges her hands into scalding water and prays for forgiveness, taking the lesson of sanctity and penance to heart in her own way.

Notable Moment

“I plunged my little hands into that hot, hot water and I just held them there as long as I could. And I just prayed to be forgiven because I had to do penance for this faux pas, which of course I thought was a sin.”
— Mary Furlong Coomer [24:10]

3. Karen Kibara: "Karen the Invincible"

[26:31 – 39:49]

Summary

Karen tells a brave, candid story of falling into and eventually escaping an abusive marriage. Raised to be compliant and self-effacing, she finds herself unable to stand up to her older husband, who becomes violent and controlling. The turning point arises when he ironically accuses her of being “invincible,” forcing her to look up the word—ushering a revelation about her own suppressed strength. She makes the heartbreaking decision to leave, even if it means leaving her beloved young son temporarily behind for his safety and her own survival.

Key Discussion Points

• Conditioned Compliance: Karen describes her childhood and youth as marked by obedience and giving up her own desires.
• Manipulation and Abuse: Her husband isolates, controls, and abuses her, undermining her self-esteem.
• Cycle of Returning: Despite moments of leaving, guilt, hope, and family pressure draw her back twice.
• The Moment of Clarity:

  “He suddenly grabbed me with the collars of my pajamas, and he started to shake me... and he asked me, Karen, tell me, why do you feel invincible? ...too strong to be defeated, powerful, concrete, unbeatable, unshakable, unmovable.”
  — Karen Kibara [34:35]

• Act of Escape: The climax is her early-morning escape, realizing it is for her survival and for her son’s future, even if they have to be apart temporarily.

Notable Moment

"As the distance between me and the house grew, the weight of this marriage was falling off my back.”
— Karen Kibara [38:44]

• Legacy and Healing: Today, Karen mentors women and girls to discover their strength and assertiveness, refusing to let others dictate their worth.

4. Colin Channer: "The Book Heist at Sangsters"

[44:24 – 55:09]

Summary

Novelist Colin Channer, growing up in 1970s Jamaica, tells the rollicking story of orchestrating a comic book theft from Sangsters, the island's biggest bookstore. Motivated by childhood desires, creative scheming, and the friendliest cashier, eight-year-old Colin executes the “perfect heist”—until his brother’s conscience and his strict mother interfere. Exposed, shamed not only by his mother but also the cashier’s gentle disappointment, Colin learns an indelible lesson about shame, discipline, and character.

Key Discussion Points

• Childhood Longing: A friend's tale of the “Superman Annual” stirs a hunger for something rare and precious.
• Planning ("A Wicked Plan") and Execution: With wit and comic timing, Colin narrates his methodical approach to stealing the books, inspired by TV thieves.
• Sibling Rivalry: His pious brother complicates the escape.
• Confrontation and Public Shame: His mother brings him back to the store, where the cashier delivers a crushing, simple verdict:

  “Little friend, I am so disappointed.”
  — Bookstore cashier [54:05]

• Lasting Lesson: The episode marks a pivotal moment in Colin’s understanding of discipline:

  “There was the discipline of my mother, the discipline of force. And there was the discipline of someone saying in her own way, I know you can do better, do better.”
  — Colin Channer [54:42]

• Later Full Circle: Years later, as a published author, Colin is invited back to Sangsters for a public reading—a poignant homecoming.

Notable Moment

"You teeth the books. Now. In Jamaica you don't steal. You thief. And you don't thief. You thief. You thief the books. No, mommy, I did not thief the books.”
— Colin Channer [52:10]

Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• EJR David:

  “So I took a deep breath, and with all the courage and the strength that I could generate from inside my body, I opened my mouth to let out the scariest, most intimidating noise I could muster at that moment.” [11:08]

• Mary Furlong Coomer:

  “You should look this stuff up, it’s not insane. But anyway, this, she did this because she wanted to be close to our Lord and all his suffering.” [21:05]

• Karen Kibara:

  “I, who for eight years lived in this marriage believing I was weak, vulnerable, unlovable, powerless. In his eyes, I was much more than just a strong woman.” [35:30]

• Colin Channer:

  “My mother says, which cashier you buy it from? The amnesia again. I think it was. I can’t remember. And I see my lady friend observing all this... she looked back at me and she said words I will never forget, ‘Little friend, I am so disappointed.’” [54:05]

Key Timestamps for Each Story

• EJR David: [02:53 – 14:52]
• Mary Furlong Coomer: [19:30 – 24:55]
• Karen Kibara: [26:31 – 39:49]
• Colin Channer: [44:24 – 55:09]

Conclusion & Themes

This episode powerfully explores moments when real life demands reckoning:

• EJR David’s journey from stoic silence to empowered speech
• Mary Furlong Coomer’s transformation of religious fear into agency
• Karen Kibara’s escape from abuse and discovery of her invincible core
• Colin Channer’s lesson in accountability and discipline through shame and kindness

Each narrative stands on its own, yet they collectively underscore the courage it takes to face the uncomfortable, the humorous, the painful, and emerge—sometimes quietly, sometimes loudly—changed and empowered.

For images and more about each storyteller, visit themoth.org.