Finding Soul: The Moth Podcast

Summary

---

The Moth Podcast — "Finding Soul"

Date: December 5, 2025
Host: Suzanne Rust

---

Episode Overview

This heartfelt episode of The Moth explores the deeper meaning of “soul” through true stories about authenticity, resilience, and being there for loved ones. Moving from the surface—the “sole” of shoes—into the inner “soul” that defines us, two storytellers, Heather McGee and Ashley McElvey, share deeply personal and transformative experiences. Each story illuminates how connections, trials, and unusual circumstances help reveal who we truly are.

---

Key Discussion Points & Story Summaries

1. Introduction: From Shoes to Soul

[01:56]

• Host Suzanne Rust sets the thematic stage, explaining the episode’s departure from stories about the “sole” of shoes to those about the “soul” within.
• Main focus: Connections, bonds, overcoming hardship, and the things that make us uniquely ourselves.

---

2. Story One: Heather McGee — "The Pink Suitcase"

[02:34] – [07:43]

Overview

Heather recounts her journey from shy, homeschooled teenager to an empowered young woman, thanks to an unforgettable suitcase from her flamboyant grandmother. Her story unfolds at a Chicago Story Slam with the theme "baggage."

Key Points

• Isolation and Anxiety:

  • Heather grows up in a large, fundamentalist family, homeschooled and isolated (“I lived out with the cows in corn fields” [02:41]).
  • She faces huge anxiety when transitioning to traditional high school, feeling desperate to be invisible:

    “Going to the lunchroom and figuring out where to sit was the most horrifying thing to me. Every day. I spent the entirety of my high school experience being scared to be seen or heard or have to interact with anyone while getting an A in every class.” [03:12]

• The Senior Trip Dilemma:

  • A 10-day trip to Spain is both thrilling and terrifying—especially when Heather doesn't own a proper suitcase.
  • Asks Granny for help. Granny (a loud, joyful presence, starkly different from Heather’s family) offers a huge, bright pink tie-dye hard suitcase:

    “She pulled out the loudest, hugest pink tie-dye hard-side suitcase that anyone has ever seen in their life. And it wasn’t just pink on the outside, it was pink on the inside… loud in an actual way.” [04:11]

    • Granny is described as: “She wore Betty Boop sweatshirts, she wore cheetah print, she wore a T-shirt that said ‘I’m sexy’. And she was in her 70s.” [03:59]

• Learning to Stand Out:

  • Mortified but unable to refuse, Heather travels to Spain with the suitcase, fearing ridicule.
  • To her surprise, classmates are amused and impressed:

    “It turns out my classmates thought my suitcase was cool. They liked the color because it stood out. They thought that clicky, loud locks were hilarious.” [05:36]

  • Embracing her suitcase, Heather begins embracing herself.

• Reflection & Granny’s Legacy:

  • The suitcase becomes a metaphor for living boldly, channeling her grandmother’s resilience:

    “Don’t let the bad things in life keep you from being your wildest, boldest, pinkest self.” [07:30]

• Granny’s Backstory:

  • Her grandmother’s exuberance is a form of rebirth after enduring years of domestic abuse:

    “I think the day that my grandpa died is the day that her life really started.” [06:58]

Notable Quotes

• “My entire mission in life at that time was to blend in with the wallpaper. And I knew me and that bright pink suitcase were going to Spain whether I liked it or not.” [05:18]
• “It was a lesson that my granny taught me that I pull into my own life… how don’t let the bad things in life keep you from being your wildest, boldest, pinkest self.” [07:37]

Memorable Moment

• The suitcase’s transformation from a source of shame to a symbol of pride at baggage claim:

  “Instead of being embarrassed, I picked it up proudly.” [07:13]

---

3. Mini-Interview: Heather’s Reflections on Granny

[07:43]

• Heather shares gratitude for witnessing her grandmother’s transformation and resilience, learning “the worst thing that happens to you doesn’t have to define you.”

---

4. Story Two: Ashley McElvey — "Micro Weddings & Motivation"

[11:00] – [15:52]

Overview

Ashley describes planning a whirlwind wedding under the pressure of her mother’s uncertain health, only to discover the true soul of celebration and love.

Key Points

• Chronic Procrastination & Unexpected Urgency:

  • After a decade together, Ashley is slow to plan her wedding (“I could not think about it at all” [12:00]) until her parents visit, bearing possible bad news: her mom may be dying.
  • Parents urge her to set a date soon—“October would be a really good time…” [11:44]

• Panic & Solutions:

  • Ashley stumbles upon the “micro wedding” concept online and quickly outsources most decisions to Sweetgrass Weddings to minimize overwhelm.

• False Alarm & Relief:

  • Right after plans are set in motion, Mom calls with good news: “They think it’s going to be scar tissue and they think that I’m going to be okay.” [14:06]
  • Emotional exchange:

    “Always tell me when you’re not dying. Like I always, I always have time for it.” [14:31]

• The Perfect Day:

  • The wedding, organized with minimal involvement, turns out vibrant and authentic, feeling just right:

    “It was vibrant and colorful and lively and a little weird and a little irreverent and it was just great.” [15:06]

  • Guests remark: “Oh my God, it just felt so much like you and Eric.” [15:28]

• Gratitude and Togetherness:

  • Family and friends attend, including her healthy mother. Ashley recognizes the true meaning behind the gathering—love, support, and the drive to make beautiful things happen when it matters most.

Notable Quotes

• “Do you really not care?… If it is a good, nice time and a lovely wedding, that’s great. And if it’s a shit show, Eric and I will tell stories about that for the rest of our lives.” [13:13]
• “I could have never planned it, but I could make it happen once I had the right motivation.” [15:52]

Memorable Moment

• The realization Ashley didn’t have to personally plan the wedding for it to be meaningful, and the joy of seeing her mother healthy on her big day.

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:56] – Suzanne Rust: Introduction & theme explanation
• [02:34] – Heather McGee: Story begins
• [07:43] – Host’s reflection & mini-interview with Heather
• [10:39] – Host: Introduction to the next story
• [11:00] – Ashley McElvey: Story begins
• [15:52] – Ashley’s emotional conclusion

---

Notable Quotes

• Heather McGee:

  “Don’t let the bad things in life keep you from being your wildest, boldest, pinkest self.” [07:37]

• Ashley McElvey:

  “Always tell me when you’re not dying. Like I always, I always have time for it.” [14:31]
  “I could have never planned it, but I could make it happen once I had the right motivation.” [15:52]

---

Episode Tone & Style

The episode is intimate, warm, and affirming—blending laughter, vulnerability, and celebration. The storytellers and host speak in a conversational and candid manner, inviting listeners to reflect on what really gives life its flavor and meaning.

---

Summary

"Finding Soul" is an episode that champions authenticity, courage, and the bonds that make us feel truly alive. By sharing two distinct but soul-stirring journeys—one about embracing individuality through an unwelcome but symbolic pink suitcase, the other about orchestrating a meaningful event in the face of uncertainty—the episode reminds us that soul is found both in bold acts of self-acceptance and in the act of showing up for those we love, even (and especially) when life doesn’t go according to plan.

Transcript

[Sponsor Announcer]

Between holiday shopping, late nights, and all those festive treats, it's easy to let your wellness slip. That's why I rely on Groons to keep me feeling my best this season. Each snack pack has 6 grams of prebiotic fiber, three times the dietary fiber of leading greens powders, and more than two cups of broccoli. Groons supports gut, health, immunity, energy, cognition and even beauty. It's vegan, nut free, gluten free, dairy free, and free of artificial colors and flavors. And yes, Groons ingredients are backed by over 35,000 research publications. There's even a Gruen's Kids version so the little ones get comprehensive nutrition too. Get up to 52% off with code MOTH at Groons co. That's code MOTHRUNS co.

Between travel, gifts, hosting, entertaining, you name it, it's easy to lose sight of your money and financial responsibility this time of year. If you want to keep your finances under control this holiday season, you need to be using Monarch, rated Wall Street Journal's Best Budgeting App of 2025. Monarch is the all in one personal finance tool that brings your entire financial life together in one clean interface on your laptop or your phone. And right now, just for our listeners, Monarch is offering 50% off your first year. Monarch was so helpful to me. It helped me track my holiday budget in real time and adjust my spending. Don't let financial opportunities slip through the cracks. Use code [e-mail] in your browser for half off your first year. That's 50% off your first [e-mail] with code moth.

[Suzanne Rust]

Welcome to the Moth. I'm Suzanne Rust. A few days ago we shared a Moth radio hour all about shoes. But on this episode, we're going to be talking about a different type of sole. Yes, we're going from the sole of your shoe to the sole inside you, with stories about connections, bonds, being there for the people we love and all the things that make you you. First up, we have Heather McGee. She told this at a Chicago story slam where the theme of the night was baggage. Here's Heather live at the Moth.

[Heather McGee]

So when I was a teenager, I had so much social anxiety, like crippling. I was from a really big family with a million brothers and sisters, so you might be surprised to see that as a characteristic of me. But we were fundamentalists. I was homeschooled. We were very isolated. I lived out with the cows in corn fields. Now, my mom was a real teacher. She actually gave me a great education being homeschooled. However, she also knew I wanted to Go to college. And to go to college, when you have a million kids, you don't have a lot of money. I needed scholarships, and if I was going to get a scholarship, I needed to go to a traditional school. So when I turned 14, my mom enrolled me in a regular high school. This was terrifying to me. Going to the lunch room and figuring out where to sit was the most horrifying thing to me. Every day. I spent the entirety of my high school experience being scared to be seen or heard or have to interact with anyone while getting an A in every class.

So anyway, when we got to my senior year, I found out we were taking a senior trip to Spain for 10 days. And to someone who had only been to the Super Walmart in my tiny town, this was both thrilling and really overwhelming. I also didn't have a suitcase and I didn't know how I was going to get that suitcase because we didn't have the money to get a suitcase. So I was really worried about this and I brought it up to my granny. Now, my granny was not a part of our fundamentalist religious community. She was the opposite. She wore Betty Boop sweatshirts, she wore cheetah print, she wore a T shirt that said I'm sexy. And she was in her 70s. So anyway, I was really worried about this and I explained my situation to my granny. She was like, oh, I've got a suitcase. You can just take mine. She pulled it out of a closet and I about died because what she showed me as an incredibly shy person who was about to go on the first big trip, first trip of her life with a bunch of classmates who I desperately wanted to impress. She pulled out the loudest, hugest pink tie dye hard side suitcase that anyone has ever seen in their life. And it wasn't just pink on the outside, it was pink on the inside with a lovely shade of Pepto Bismol. And it was also loud in an actual way. There were some clips on it that when you locked it and you had to punch it to make it close, made the loudest noise you have also ever heard in your life. I was mortified, but I was also too shy to turn my granny down. And I needed a suitcase, so I took it.

My entire mission in life at that time was to blend in with the wallpaper. And I knew me and that bright pink suitcase were going to Spain whether I liked it or not. And I would be seen and heard also whether I liked it or not. So I showed up at the airport with my big pink suitcase, relegated to my fate, I channeled the power of my granny as I lugged that monstrosity across the floor to the ticket counter, got on that plane, got myself to Spain. We were going to a few different places, so I opened it, closed it. Those clips got louder with every time I opened and closed it. And I was shocked on that trip because it turns out my classmates thought my suitcase was cool. They liked the color because it stood out. They thought that clicky, loud locks were hilarious. And, you know, as we were going from place to place, I think I started to take on the power of that suitcase because I started to feel proud. Nobody else had a suitcase like this. Their suitcases were black, they were brown, they were gray, their locks were quiet.

You know, And I just really took that in and I started thinking about what this pink suitcase actually meant. You know, My granny lived her life at 100%. She had so many friends. She went on big trips. She was the kind of person that bought a crazy pink suitcase. She was in a choir. She taught me how to dance in her living room. She lived life to the fullest at every moment, at every second. But it hadn't always been like that. When she was 18, she married my grandpa. And my grandpa proceeded to spend the entirety of his life trying to kill her. He put her head in the oven more than once, sent her to the hospital more than once. I think the day that my grandpa died is the day that her life really started.

When I got back from Spain, I was standing at the airport waiting for my baggage claim, for my bag. That total ugly suitcase came out of the chute. But this time, when it came around the carousel, instead of being embarrassed, I picked it up proudly. And now when I think about it, I see it as. I think about it as more than just a pink suitcase. It was a lesson that my granny taught me that I pull into my own life about how don't let the bad things in life keep you from being your wildest, boldest, pinkest self.

[Suzanne Rust]

That was Heather McGee. Heather is an Emmy and Cannes Lion Award winning founder and host of the Happily Never after podcast, which takes a look at how life's endings can lead to a new beginning. She is currently working on her debut memoir about growing up in a fundamentalist Christian sect. We asked Heather if, looking back, she had any more thoughts about her grandmother and getting to see her in a new light. She told us that her granny went through so much in her life, courtesy of the domestic violence suffered at the hands of her husband. Heather's grateful that after her grandpa died, she was old enough to bear witness to her grandmother's resurrection and blooming into the life she always wanted. She taught Heather a lot about resilience and how the worst thing that happens to you doesn't have to define you. After the break, another soulful story. Be back in a moment.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Have you ever noticed that purple Shop pay button when you're checking out online? The one that makes buying something way too easy in the best way? That's the magic of Shopify. And here's the fun part. If you've ever seen that purple button, it means the store you're shopping from is powered by Shopify. Shopify doesn't just make it easy to buy, they make it easy to sell. With Shopify, you can tackle everything in one place. Inventory, payments, analytics, even marketing. Their built in tools make running social and email campaigns a breeze so you can find new customers and keep them Want to sell around the world? Shopify helps you reach over 150 countries prefer in person. Their award winning point of Sale System System connects your online and offline sales seamlessly. Stop seeing carts going abandoned and turn those sales into Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com moth go to shopify.com moth shopify.com moth.

You know, every year.

I feel like my wireless bill is sneaking a little extra holiday stress into my life. This year I'm not letting that happen. I switched to Mint Mobile and right now all their unlimited plans are 50% off. 3, 6 or 12 months for just $15 a month. I brought over my phone and kept my number and the service has been fantastic. High speed data, unlimited talk and text and I'm saving so much compared to my old provider. I use this and you should too. Turn your expensive wireless present into a huge wireless savings future by switching to Mint Shop. Mint Unlimited plans at MintMobile.

That's mintmobile.com moth Limited time offer upfront payment of $45 for three months, 90 for six months or $180 for 12 months. Plan required $15 a month equivalent taxes and fees Extra initial plan term only 35 gigabytes may slow when network is busy. Capable device required. Availability, speed and coverage vary. See mintmobile.com welcome back.

[Suzanne Rust]

We've got another story about Sol for you. This one focusing on being there. Ashley McElvey told this at Atlanta Story Slam where the theme of the night was big breaks. Here's Ashley live at the mall.

[Ashley McElvey]

So Eric and I had been together almost 10 years when we got engaged. We had lived in three different houses in two different states, and we would have eloped, but my brother had eloped. And so when I got engaged, my dad said, you know, you guys can do whatever you want about a ceremony, but your mom and I would like to be there. I'd kind of like to see one of my kids get married. And I was like, jesus Christ, Dad. Obviously we're gonna plan a wedding. But I didn't. I didn't plan a wedding. I just found it so overwhelming, and I could not think about it at all. And so Eric and I had been engaged for about three years when my parents drove out from Arkansas for a visit and to tell me that my mom might be dying.

So she had had cancer before, and she goes in regularly for scans and checkups. And they'd seen something on the scans that had been concerning. And now my parents are sitting in my kitchen saying that October would be a really good time for Eric and I to get married. It'd be really great if we could get married in October. And it was mid September. And so as soon as they left town, I just started to panic. Google, like, small wedding, tiny wedding. And this phrase popped up, and it was micro weddings. And I was like, that's what I want. I want a micro wedding. And so I called a friend of mine, and I was talking to her about it, and I said, you know, here's the thing. No matter how small the wedding is, they're just like all these decisions that need to get made. And I'm a little bit of a control freak. And I feel like if there are decisions that need to be made, I need to make them. And on the other hand, I don't care about any of this, and I just need it to get done. And she said, do you really not care? And I said, I really don't. I said, if it is a good, nice time and a lovely wedding, that's great. And if it's a shit show, Eric and I will tell stories about that for the rest of our lives. So, like, I'm good either way. And she said, I think you should make the fewest decisions possible. And I realized that was correct. And there's this place called Sweetgrass Weddings, and they will do as much as you ask them to do. They did everything but buy my dress, basically. And I called them, and I was talking to them about our situation, and I really liked their vibe. And I said, be honest. Like, can we even get married in October? And she said, well, do you want to get married In a barn or a barn or a historical building. And I was like, ooh, historical building, please. And she said, yeah, you can get married October 24th. And I just said, let's do it. And I sent her a check and I wrote some deposits and we emailed out wedding invitations because we did not have time to wait for the postal service. And everything was happening all of a sudden. So people were starting to RSVP and they were buying plane tickets. And my mom called and she said, I have some good news. She said they did a different kind of scan. And it looks like. I don't think that my mom is a liar. I think you guys think that, but she's not. I don't think my mom's a liar.

And she said, they think it's going to be scar tissue and they think that I'm going to be okay. And I was so happy and I was so relieved. And then I just said, I just planned a wedding in six weeks. And she said, I know. I feel so terrible. I feel so bad that we rushed you into doing this so quickly. And like, I almost didn't even know if I should tell you. And I was like, oh my God, like.

Always tell me when you're not dying. Like I always, I always have time for it. And I said, no, it's fine. Eric and I are gonna get married and you're gonna be okay. And it's great and it's going to be great. And on October 24, I went to the venue and I was going to see my wedding for the first time. And I started to get a little nervous because I don't really like weddings or ceremonies or things that involve a lot of fuss. But I also know that planning a big event and celebrating a thing and fussing over details is how you show that things matter. And now that I know my mom is going to be okay, like, I'm starting to realize how much this really matters to me. And I walked in and it was perfect. It was vibrant and colorful and lively and a little weird and a little irreverent and it was just great.

And after the wedding, people kept saying like, oh my God, it just felt so much like you and Eric. Which was exactly what I wanted.

[Sponsor Announcer]

And.

[Ashley McElvey]

And I could not have planned anything half that good. And my parents were there, my mom was there, and Eric's parents were there, and my 90 year old grandmother was there, and our 10 year old nephew was there.

And it was a great day. And I could have never planned it, but I could make it happen once I had the right motivation.

[Suzanne Rust]

That was Ashley McElvey. Ashley has always loved a good story. She lives in Atlanta, where she has performed at the Moth and Story Collider. She and Eric recently celebrated their fourth wedding anniversary and her parents are happy and healthy in Arkansas. If you'd like to see a photo of Ashley's wedding, we'll have a couple of lovely pictures on our [e-mail] extras that brings us to the end of our episode. Thank you to our storytellers for sharing with us and to you for listening. At the Moth, we think that every story has soul, and if you've been moved by a story this year, we'd love your support. It makes everything possible. Please text GIVE25 to 78679 to make a donation to the Moth today. From all of us here at the Moth, we hope you have a soulful week.

[Mark Solinger]

Suzanne Rust is the Moth's Senior Curatorial Producer and one of the hosts of the Moth Radio Hour. In addition to finding new voices and fresh stories for the Moth stage, Suzanne creates playlists and helps curate special storytelling events. This episode of the Moth Podcast was produced by Sarah Austin, Janess, Sarah Jane Johnson and me, Mark Solinger. The rest of the Moth leadership team includes Sarah Haberman, Christina Norman, Marina Clouche, Jennifer Hickson, Jordan Cardinale, Caledonia Cairns, Kate Tellers, Suzanne Rust and Patricia Urenia. The Moth Podcast is presented by odysee. Special thanks to their executive producer, Leah Rees Dennis. All Moth stories are true as remembered by their storytellers. For more about our podcast, information on pitching your own story and everything else, go to our website themoth.org.

[AstraZeneca Representative]

The moth is supported by AstraZeneca. AstraZeneca is committed to spreading awareness of a condition called Hereditary Transtheretin mediated Amyloidosis, or hattr. This condition can cause polyneuropathy like nerve pain or numbness or heart failure. It often goes undiagnosed and can be passed down to loved ones. Recently I directed a show for AstraZeneca featuring storytellers with HATTR and its impact on their lives. Here's a clip from Otis, who shared how the legacy of faith that was passed down to him gave him the strength to see beyond his diagnosis.

[Otis]

I never asked why me? But I knew that I wanted to try to turn something that was negative into a positive. My parents instill this faith in me because sometimes we're going to find ourselves in lies, sometimes even to no fault of our own. We're going to find ourselves in a condition that we must rely upon our faith.

[AstraZeneca Representative]

To learn more about Hattr, visit www.myattrroadmap.com.