Loading summary
Transcript49 lines
- [00:00]
Host/Announcer
Heading into 2026, one of my biggest financial goals is reducing money stress and increasing my savings. Managing your money doesn't have to be a struggle this year. That's why I've been using Monarch. Monarch is the all in one personal finance tool. Designed to make your life easier. It brings budgeting accounts and investments, net worth and future planning together in one dashboard on your laptop or phone. It's perfect for a new year financial reset, reviewing holiday spending and tracking progress toward goals. Monarch's AI tools are incredible. AI insights highlight patterns I'd never notice, and the weekly recap keeps me on track without extra effort. People save over $200 a month on average, and eight out of 10 say Monarch gives them a clearer picture of their money. This new year, achieve your financial goals for good. Monarch is the all in one tool that makes proactive money management simple all year long. Use code moth@monarch.com for half off your first year. That's 50% off your first year@monarch.com with code moth.
- [01:04]
Grow Therapy Advertiser
Working on your mental health doesn't happen all at once. It happens in moments. One conversation, one deep breath, one session at a time. Grow Therapy makes it easier to begin maybe you don't need to figure everything out today. Maybe you just need someone to talk to. Whether it's your first time in therapy or your 50th, growing grow makes it easy to find a therapist who fits you, not the other way around. You can search by what matters like insurance, specialty, identity or availability and get started in as little as two days. And if something comes up, you can Cancel up to 24 hours in advance at no cost. There are no subscriptions, no long term commitments. You just pay per session. Whatever challenges you're facing, GrowTherapy is here to help. Sessions average about $21 with insurance, and some pay as little as $0 depending on depending on their plan. Visit growtherapy.com moth today to get started. That's growtherapy.com moth growththerapy.com moth availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan.
- [02:18]
Chloe Salmon
This is the Moth Radio Hour. I'm Chloe Salmon, one of the directors at the Moth. As a kid, I found myself watching a lot of TV shows that implied I was just one after school special moment away from growing up. And once that moment hit, no more uncertainty, no more bad choices. Only me being magnificent. From that point on. Forever. I turned 30 this year and I'm starting to suspect that that I will still be figuring it all out. Sometimes with dignity, but more often awkwardly for the rest of my life. Growing up is hard to do, but discovering who you really are is worth the mess. In this hour, stories of growing pains and the transformations that follow. First up is a slam story from Jennifer Lubin, who told it in Washington D.C. where we partner with public radio station WAMU. Here's Jennifer live at the Moth.
- [03:22]
Jennifer Lubin
So the happiest day of my life was the day that I realized that my mom was not going to give me up for adoption. Now mind you, my mom was never going to give me up for adoption, nor did she ever threaten to do that. But I was a seven year old drama queen in the second grade at the time and I had managed to convince myself that the possibility of her giving me away was kind of going to be real. So why did I think that? Well, the young lady that triggered my fear was known by many to be one of America's sweethearts. To me she was a sneaky rascal, a tap dancing red haired one, otherwise known as Little Orphan Annie. Now for the record, I did not dislike Annie from the very beginning. I actually loved her a lot when the 80s version of the movie came out on video. And she quickly became one of my heroes, along with Wonder Woman, she RA and Punky Brewster. Of course now we used to watch the movie regularly on the weekends. And the problem was after a while I started to think that my mom thought that Annie was cooler than I was, which is why I started to resent her. So the thing is, as a kid, as a kid, I considered myself to be the apple of my mom's eye. I was a good kid, I got good kids grades, I did as I was told, I didn't get into any trouble. So when my mom started referring to Annie as her little girl, it struck a chord in me and I felt like she wanted to swap me out for Annie. So she would say things like, oh, you know, Annie is so adorable and well behaved while we'd watch the movie and I'd be like, well behaved? You mean like how she basically plays practical jokes on all of her caretakers? Well behaved? Don't you mean that she misbehaves? Which, need I remind you, I don't do. So my mom is like, you know what, you need to stop trying to compare yourself to Annie and focus on the more important things in the movie, like the messages of love and compassion that are depicted in the movie. I don't buy it. So I'm like, you know what mom, I'm gonna ask you flat out, do you wanna be my mama or don't you? So she laughed hysterically, hysterically at this and basically told me that I was being ridiculous. Which to me, was dodging the question and basically covering up her true intentions. So I set out on a mission to memorize just about every word to all the songs in the movie so that I can rehearse and sing them for her. So that she know she could realize that I, too, was talented and that I deserve to remain in our family home. So now, my little brother, who's 18 months younger than me, didn't realize that I was freaking out about this. And I needed to get his support. And so I had to corner him one day after school. And I was like, look, David, clearly you are not paying attention to what is happening in this household these days. And if I were you, I would start paying attention better. Because this is not just about me. Do you see the way Mom's eyes light up every time she sees Webster on TV on Thursday nights? You're next, little homie. And you're screwed. Now, I got room for one person on my limited edition red, blue and gold Wonder Woman bicycle with the little lasso bell. So I'm not gonna be able to take you with me when I hop onto it and ride myself over to the Girl Scouts of America headquarters to apply for adoption asylum. And let me tell you this. Even if I could take you, they're.
- [06:50]
Esther Goomby
Not gonna let you in. Cause you're a boy.
- [06:53]
Jennifer Lubin
So good luck with that. And don't say I didn't warn you. Now, my brother, of course, was freaked out for all of two minutes as I tried to brainwash him. And then he just started ignoring me again and playing with his GI Joe. Figures. I was bummed for weeks. I would go to school, trying to get support from my friends, but everyone was, like, drinking the Annie Kool Aid. They were like, oh, did you see the Annie movie? Wasn't it so great? I think I'm gonna be Annie for Halloween. And I'm like, this is. I'm not getting any support. So I was bummed out, and I felt like all hope was lost. Until something miraculous happened. Our VCR broke. It just stopped working one day. Wouldn't even turn on. So of course I'm like, hey, mom, it's a hard knock life for us. It's a hard knock life for us. Of course, she didn't find that to be very funny at all. But for the record, I didn't break the vcr. I would have been. My mom would have killed me if I did something like that. Broke anything electronic at the house that she would have brought. In our Haitian household, any deliberate destruction of property as a result of of a ton temper tantrum would have not worked well for me. But needless to say, with the VCR on the fritz, I felt like I had a whole new lease on life. I felt reborn, if you will, invigorated. I was literally running around the house singing, the sun will come out tomorrow. And of course my mom would be standing around slow clapping like, which was fine for me because I just knew that Annie was not going to take my mom away. So as time progressed, life was good. I felt like I had won. And I tried to incorporate the lesson that my mom tried to teach me of not comparing myself to others so that I could feel empowered and do and be whatever it was that I was going to be in life. And it worked for the most part until years later when the Cosby show came out and there was Rudy. Thank you.
- [08:57]
Chloe Salmon
Jennifer Lubin lives in D.C. with her pandemic puppy, Leroy Bartholomew. She works as an attorney recruiter and is also a writer. She recently finished her first book, which is based on her experiences as a Haitian kid growing up in the United States. Jennifer says that 80s TV shows played a really big role in her childhood. Her mom raised her and her brother practically on her own and placed a lot of emphasis on shows and books that reinforce the life lessons she taught them about the importance of family and being a good person. Jennifer would often imagine being friends with the spunky, smart girls she saw on these shows, and she still remembers them all fondly. To see photos of Jennifer as a child and with her mom, Gisette Madeline Lubin, head on over to themoth.org. Our next story comes to us from a time in life that is rife with growing pain, the summer after graduating high school. Ann Stewart told this at a Story Slam in Boston where we partner with WBUR and prx. Here's Ann.
- [10:11]
Ann Stewart
I'm in high school and I'm thinking a lot about what I'm going to do when I go to college next year. All my friends, my family, my teachers, everybody assumes that I'm going to go into journalism. And this isn't surprising because my dad is an editor at the local newspaper. Both of my brothers are interested in journalism. One's in TV photography, studying to be a TV photographer. The other one wants to be a sports writer. And I myself have been the editor or reporter or writer on every school newspaper and newsletter and yearbook all the way through school. So it's really not surprising But I sometimes think maybe I don't want to join the family business. Maybe I'd like to do something else. Maybe I would like to be an English professor or a veterinarian. I like animals. Or maybe go into politics. But still, when my dad tells me that there is a part time after school job down at the newspaper, I am thrilled. Thanks, Dad. I jump at the chance because I can try it out. I can see what it's going to be like to work in a newspaper environment and see if it's something that I want to do. Now it's actually kind of a crappy job. It's not in the newsroom, it's not even on the same floor. It's kind of downstairs in a corner in a closet. And it involves answering the phone. And specifically it involves answering the switchboard. So all the calls to the newspaper come into this one central number and the switchboard operator, in this case me, sits there with a headset on and flips a button as the calls come in and then takes the line and plugs it in to whatever slot it's supposed to go to on that switchboard. So if somebody calls in and they want to place a classified ad, it goes up here. And if they call in and complain that they didn't get their paper, it goes over here. And if they call in and they've got a news tip for the newsroom, it goes up here. But I quickly learn in this job that people call the newspaper for all sorts of other reasons. This is decades before the Internet. There's no CNN, there's no 24 hour news radio, at least not in central Michigan where I live. And so when people get the news, they get it when the newspaper lands on their doorstep in the morning or on the 6 and 11 o' clock news at night. And if they want to know something in between times, they often call the newspaper and they'll get me. So they'll call and they'll say something like, we want to go on a picnic this afternoon. It's looking kind of iffy, weather wise. What's the latest forecast? So I put them on hold and I call up to the newsroom and then I'll come back and I'll tell them, well, 20 minutes ago the latest from the National Weather Service said, sunny and clear, so you're good to go. Have a good time. Or they'll call and they'll say, I had to miss the Detroit Tigers game, can you give me the score? And I'll call upstairs and I'll ask The sports desk, you know, what was the score. And I'll go back and more often than not I'll tell them that the Tigers lost again. It was a really bad year for the Tigers. And every once in a while, usually late at night on a weekend night, someone will call in and say, I see all these strange flashing lights in the sky and I wonder if anybody else has reported seeing UFOs. So I put them on hold and I call up to the newsroom just to be safe. And then I invariably come back and tell them, no, sorry, it's just you. But the summer after my high school summer, after I graduate from high school, I start getting calls about something different. It's about something that's happening hundreds of miles away in Washington D.C. and even though this event is partially being televised, people are so anxious about what's happening that they're calling the newspaper for the latest news, the latest nuggets, the news in a nutshell. And they get me. So I find myself saying things like, the Supreme Court has ruled that President Nixon has to release his secret tapes. Or the House Judiciary Committee just voted to approve the second article of impeachment. Or we've just learned that there's this new tape and they're calling it the smoking gun and it proves that the President knew about the Watergate cover up. And then I find people calling and saying, is the President going to resign? And I say, I don't know. We don't know. And then one hot day in August, people start calling and saying, when is the President going to resign? And I tell them I've written out a little script. And I say, the President will address the nation on live television at 9 o' clock tonight. We expect that he will say that he is going to resign tomorrow and Gerald Ford will be our next president. I am 17 years old. Two months ago I was in high school. And now I'm telling people about the biggest news story of our time. I'm telling them one at a time over the telephone, but I am telling them. And when I go off to college a couple of weeks later, I. I am so grateful for that crappy little job because I no longer have any question about what I'm going to do. I'm not going into politics, no way. I'm not going to be a professor. I'm not going to be a veterinarian. I'm going to go into the family business and be a journalist. And that's what I do for the next 30 years. Thank you.
- [15:46]
Chloe Salmon
That was Anne Stewart during her career. She has been a staff writer and editor for several magazines, a reporter for daily newspapers and the Associated Press, and a teacher. She and her husband, who met while they were working together at their college newspaper, live near Boston. I hopped on the phone with Anne to chat about her experiences with growing pains, and I asked her what advice she'd give to her younger self.
- [16:13]
Ann Stewart
I guess I would say, you know, whatever you decide, it's going to work out. You'll decide what you decide and if you like it, you'll continue doing it. And if you don't, you'll do something else.
- [16:24]
Chloe Salmon
At the time, did you feel like there was kind of a gauntlet hanging over your head? I know that like end of high school, going to college. Time in life is one that's filled. That feels extremely high stakes.
- [16:37]
Ann Stewart
Yeah, it does. And it's, it's, you know, everybody asks, what are you going to major in? And it's the first thing everybody asks.
- [16:43]
Chloe Salmon
They want to know, and when you're.
- [16:44]
Ann Stewart
On the campus, what's your major? You know, and I had this idea that you have to know that before you get there and you can't change it. So it was really important for me to know what I was going to do.
- [16:59]
Chloe Salmon
Ann found her passion for journalism during that summer job and committed herself to telling people the news for many years to come. Coming up next, a young boy hopes for a miracle both on the baseball field and off when the Moth Radio Hour continues.
- [17:29]
Producer/Announcer
The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts.
- [17:37]
Chloe Salmon
I'm the kind of person who compares a ton of options before settling on the item I finally buy. I'm talking countless browser windows open like I'm a hacker in a movie. Except instead of perusing the nation's secrets, I'm looking at 100 pairs of flats this season. Quince took the top spot with their Italian leather hand woven square toe ballet flats in Merlot. They're amazing. The leather is soft enough to ward off blisters, but firm enough to hold shape. The color is perfect to match all kinds of outfits, but unique enough to catch the eye. And the hand woven detailing puts them a step above the many other options I considered. It's a Quint's specialty. High quality, unique items at a fraction of the price you'd pay elsewhere. And it's not just shoes. Quint's also has housewares, travel accessories, clothing, you name it, all made with premium materials and ethical trusted factories. Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Don't wait. Go to quince.comma for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com moth to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quint.com moth this episode is brought to.
- [18:45]
Host/Announcer
You by MUBI, the global film company that champions great cinema. You know how every relationship has chapters. The good years, the hard ones, the nights. You almost call it, but you don't. The New Year's from Spanish film director Rodrigo Sorogoyan, is about that. Ten New Year's Eves, one couple and everything that happens between the kisses. Anna and oskar meet at 30. Over the next decade, we watch them build something, break it, try again. It's tender, complicated, completely real. The kind of love story that doesn't tie itself up neatly because real relationships never do. The show gets the messy middle right, the part where you're not sure if you're growing together or just growing older. The New Year's is Now streaming on MUBI. Get 30 days free to watch the New Year's and more now@mubi.com themoth that's M U B I.com T-H-E-M-O-T dash for a whole month of great cinema for free. I don't know about you, but when the new year hits, I love giving my home a little refresh. Wayfair makes it so easy to do that, whether it's upgrading your bedding, adding new towels, or giving the kids room a little makeover to get them back on track. I recently found a beautiful bookshelf and the perfect kitchen table with tons of storage. They completely changed the vibe of my apartment. I love that Wayfair has everything in one place, from storage solutions for every room to kitchen essentials, desks and office chairs for working or studying at home. Shopping was simple, affordable and honestly, kind of fun. I was surprised at how many styles they have to choose from. Wayfair really makes it easy to get your home ready for the season ahead, no matter your budget or style. Get organized, refreshed and back on track this new year. For way less, head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's Wayfair. W A Y-F-A-I-R.com Wayfair Every style, every home.
- [20:50]
Chloe Salmon
You're listening to the Moth Radio Hour. I'm Chloe Salmon. Our next story about the trials and tribulations of growing up comes to us from Stephen Farrell. He told this at a slam in New York City, where WNYC is a media partner of the Moth. Here's Stephen.
- [21:09]
Stephen Farrell
So I was 10 in the summer of 1994 in Hiawatha, Kansas, when I stepped into the batter's box with every intention of getting on base. See, I had been playing Little League for about five years at that point, and yes, I had never hit a baseball, but I had great on base percentage. I don't see if you can tell, but I was born with cataracts, which means that I can't see in one eye and I really can't see in the other. So when I first started playing baseball, it became very clear that hitting a ball was never going to be possible, but being hit by a ball was totally in the realm of possibility. So it was the bottom of the fourth when I cozied up to home plate, knowing that all I needed to do was just turn inward, get beaned, and I'd be able to take my base. The first pitch came, I turned strike one. The second pitch came, I turned strike two. Now, I wasn't going to take the strike three with my back to the ball. So I turned out. The third pitch came, I closed my eyes and I swung. There was a ping sound the moment the ball met the bat. And I've never seen something with perfect vision, but I saw that ball fly through the air with 2020 vision right over the second baseman's head and land so softly in the right field. I ran to first base. And that's all I remember. But the moment I got on base, I started writing the epic that I was going to tell my mother at the hospital the following day. She had been battling melanoma for a number of years, but it was a case of pneumonia that had brought her into the hospital for her most recent stay. By the time I had gotten to bed that night, my story had grown a little grander. It wasn't a ping, it was a thunderous crack. I didn't actually watch the ball fly through the air because I kept my head down. I ran right out of the gate, just like Pete Rose. I was even going to tell my mom that once I got safely on base that I tip my cap to the crowd in honor of her. It was a little after midnight when my father called my older sister to tell her that my mom had taken a turn for the worst and that we should get to the hospital for her possible final moment. I remember being, at the time, concerned, but only to a certain point. See, this wasn't her first final Moment. She had been battling cancer for so long that I don't remember a time when my mother wasn't sick. And she had been given so many death notices that she just lived through all of them. Her cancer was this gnat that you'd swat at it with a round of chemo or. Or another month long hospital stay. And sure it would come back, but to a stupid 10 year old, cancer just seemed manageable. And I realized that wasn't the case the moment I went into the hospital room that night. She was gasping for air. Deep, heavy breaths. And her eyes were on the ceiling and they were filled with panic. We all took places around her bed. And being 10, I just followed what everyone else was doing. I rubbed her and I said, it's okay, Mom. But I don't really know what I meant by that. Her dying wasn't okay. My forced acceptance of it wasn't okay. None of it was really okay. All I really wanted to shout was, I hit a baseball. There can be two miracles tonight, Mom. But no, I said, it's okay. And then suddenly her breathing became normal and her eyes went from the ceiling down to the family that surrounded her. And one by one by one, she took every single person in. And she ended on me. And I stared back at my mother. The cancer had taken so much from her. It had taken her hair and sunken in her cheeks, but those eyes. Those eyes were free of any cancer or any pain. And the fear was gone. And her eyes widened and she smiled. But it was with that smile that she took her last breath that they pronounced her dead. Dead wife, dead sister, dead mom. And I was still, even days after her passing, still focused on those eyes. What had she realized that. What had she discovered that just suddenly made it so easy for her to just let go? And I was actually still thinking about this about a week after her funeral when I was sitting on her front porch and a kid from my grade named Mitch Schmidt came up to me and said, heard your mom died. I nodded with my head down. That sucks. Want to go play baseball? And suddenly I saw what had become so clear to my mother right before she passed. She smiled that night because she looked out and she saw this family that she had made. And she knew that we would be okay. That I'd be okay. That I would keep playing baseball even if I never hit a damn ball again. I looked up at Mitch and said, sure. Let's go play. Thanks so much.
- [27:17]
Chloe Salmon
Steven Farrell is a middle school theater teacher based in Brooklyn, New York, where he lives with his wife, their two year old daughter, and their miniature dachshund. On most summer afternoons, you can find him listening to a Kansas City Royals baseball game on the radio and recounting his Little League glory days to his family. While he never got the chance to tell his mom about his first home run, Steven remembers another special moment they had together before she passed one day deep into her battle with cancer. One of his mom's doctor's appointments ran long and Steven missed baseball practice. She saw he was upset about missing out and as soon as they got home she grabbed a ball and insisted that they play catch together in the yard. He says looking back, he knows now that she must have been in a lot of pain as they tossed that ball back and forth. He also cherishes the moment because it shows how fiercely his mother must have loved him to decide that she wasn't going to let cancer stop her from playing ball with her son. To see a photo of Stephen with his mother, head on over to themoth.org. Next up is Esther Goomby, who transports us to the school days of her girlhood. She told this story for US at a Moth Global Community show in Washington, D.C. where we partnered with the Aspen New Voices Fellowship. Here's Esther live at the Moth.
- [28:54]
Esther Goomby
It's visiting day and I'm waiting for my one pair of uniform to dry. I only have one pair of uniforms because my parents, who are teachers and farmers as well, are investing everything they have for my education. After what seems like eternity, finally my one pair of uniforms dries. I grab it, I wear it and I quickly jet out of my dormitory. I glance the crowd. I don't see my family. Where's my mother? What happened to my mother? I'm beginning to get sad. Tears are flowing from my cheeks. All of a sudden my mother appears. There she comes, dressed in a hot pink dress. She looks pink, beautiful. Oh that pink just pops against her black beautiful face. I run into her and I grab her and I hug her and for two minutes all we are doing is embracing and hugging each other. I hold her hands and I lead her to a beautiful place. We sit down and we start to catch up. She asks me, my daughter, how have you been doing? I say I'm doing very well, but deep down I know I'm lying. I've not been doing well. Actually, instead of studying hard, I've been talking with the other students. I'm not studying at all. Then she tells me, my daughter, do you know the gift that your poor mother can give is the gift of Education. It is a tool to end poverty. I say, yes, ma'.
- [31:11]
Host/Announcer
Am.
- [31:13]
Esther Goomby
It's 4pm and she must go home because she traveled three hours to get to my school. I hug her and off goes my mama in a hot pink dress. Three weeks later, we do our end of semester examinations and the results come out. I am positioned 38 out of 100. It's clearly reflected what I've been doing all semester long. I look at my report card clearly. I cannot take it home. I cannot take this report card to my mama. So look at the numbers. There's a three and eight.
- [32:06]
Jennifer Lubin
Ah.
- [32:06]
Esther Goomby
I quickly think, perhaps if I take an eraser, I can erase the eight. Behold, I'll have a three. I do just what my small brains tell me. I grab the eraser, I erase the eight, and I have a three. Now I've jumped from position 38. I'm the third in my class. It's a quick fix. I take my report card and I go home. I give it to my mother. She looks at it, she says, thank you, my daughter. Congratulations. And I go on to enjoy my holiday. Three weeks later, it's opening day. And the night before, my mother calls me. She says, my daughter, I want to accompany you to school tomorrow. This is something out of the ordinary because my mother has never ever taken me to school. Hmm. Why all of a sudden she wants to accompany me to school? Perhaps something has changed. Morning comes and we take off with my mother. We go on our three hour journey. When we get to school, I'm expecting another warm hug from my mother. And then I'm expecting that she'll say, bye, my daughter. She says, my daughter, by the way, I want us to go to your headmistress office.
- [33:51]
Jennifer Lubin
Hmm.
- [33:52]
Esther Goomby
I'm beginning to get nervous. I'm thinking something is wrong. So we go. We get to the headmistress office and the headmistress welcomes us and she gives us a seat. My mother sits right there and I sit tightly. Before I know it, my mother pulls her report card and she puts it on the front of my head teacher's table. She says, can I know how my daughter did in her examinations? So my mother has a 3. My headmistress has a 38. Clearly, my lies have come to an end. By now, we are three of us who know this lie. I'm crouching. I want the earth to swallow me alive. I'm expecting a few blows, a few slaps. Instead, my mother, with tears flowing through her cheeks, she gently looks at my eye. Straight through my eye. She says to Me, my daughter, I believe in you. When I brought you up, you were an intelligent girl. It's not too late. Rise up. As soon as she stops talking, something snaps. A switch has been flipped. My mother believes in me. Even after I have taken her through this ordeal. Yes, she believes in me. And by now I want to prove her and prove myself and the headmistress that it's not too late. I start waking up at 5. I go to the class. I go and start reading. I start asking questions in my class. I begin to get curious. I begin to ask for more homework from my teachers. And by now I have a new nickname. At school, I'm called a book warmer because I'm spending every minute, every second, with a book I'm reading. End of semester comes, we do our examinations. And when the results come out, this time I am position three. Hooray. It paid. My hard work paid off. So I quickly just want to rush. I want to jet to my mother. I want to go and show her my report card. Semester after semester, I continue to do well. Eventually, we sit for our high school national examinations. And when the results come out, I am the best girl. I go to college. I can't get enough of books. I'm learning farming, agriculture and doing science. And on a beautiful summer day, I walk across the stage and I received my doctorate degree in entomology. On that day, my mother could not join me. She sends me the most beautiful letter. It reads, my daughter, even though we are separated by distance, we are with you when you wear that prestigious gown, you deserve it. It's yours. And she attaches a picture of me when I was young. She says, I began to trace your deeds right from when you were young. You looked intelligent when you went to high school. Your teachers worried about you. You emerged the best when you went to college. You graduated earlier than your mates. Congratulate yourself on our behalf. I love you dearly, Mama. Today, I'm a researcher, I'm a scientist, I am a mentor. And when I'm moving around and wearing my hot pink dress and inspire other farmers, I look into them through their eyes. I say, I believe in you. Thank you.
- [39:07]
Chloe Salmon
That was Dr. Esther Gumbi. She is an author, researcher and educator who has served as a mentor for the Clinton Global University Initiative and President Obama's Young Leadership Program. She has a deep commitment to Kenya, Africa and beyond. While young Esther's plan to improve her class ranking wasn't quite foolproof, maybe you can relate to her quick thinking to avoid getting in trouble. If you enjoyed Esther's story and would like to share it. You can find a link@themost.org you can also find us on Twitter and Facebook. The Moth and Mothstories on Instagram. Do you have a story about some growing pains of your own? Or how about just a time of change in your life? You can pitch it to us by recording it right on our site or call 877-799-MOTH. That's 877-799-6684. I love listening to pitches. It's one of my favorite parts of my job. Some advice? Tell us the whole story. A two minute version of it. Of course editing down is hard, but if you can fit it all into those two minutes, it's more likely that we'll give you a call. No cliffhangers please. Happy. After the break, a father tries to convince his daughter to accompany him on the trip of a lifetime when the Moth Radio Hour continues.
- [40:48]
Producer/Announcer
The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts.
- [40:57]
Blue Apron Advertiser
Do you remember Blue Apron, the subscription meal service?
- [41:00]
Esther Goomby
Well, I have news.
- [41:02]
Blue Apron Advertiser
The new Blue Apron has just launched and they are totally subscription free. I love that I can order exactly what I want when I want with zero commitment. Blue Apron makes it easier to eat better without the stress of meal planning or defaulting to takeout. Every meal is chef designed and informed by nutrition, with options that have up to 40 grams of protein and a strong focus on fiber. Everything comes pre portioned so there's no guesswork on busy nights. Their new assemble and bake meals are a lifesaver. Five minutes of prep, one pan, I'm done. And when I truly have no time, Dish by Blue Apron Meals are ready to heat and eat in minutes. That's less time than it takes to listen to one episode of your favorite podcast. Same quality, way more convenient. Order now@blueapron.com get 50% off your first two orders plus free shipping with moth50. Terms and conditions apply. Visit blueapron.com terms for more information.
- [41:55]
Host/Announcer
There's new research on pleasure that's actually fascinating, and the site OMG yes. Makes it accessible to everyone. OMG yes. Shares findings from the largest ever study into women's pleasure and intimacy. In partnership with researchers at Yale and Indiana University. They asked tens of thousands of couples what they wished they'd discovered sooner. They found the patterns in those discoveries, and all that wisdom about pleasure and intimacy is organized as hundreds of short videos, animations and how to's on omgyes.com and guess what? Half of OMG yes users are men hooray for generous lovers. Right? You'll find specific research backed techniques. It's a science of sexual generosity in action. See what they discovered today@omgyes.com moth that's o m g y dashes.com moth.
- [42:56]
Blue Apron Advertiser
This.
- [42:56]
Chloe Salmon
Is the Moth Radio Hour. I'm Chloe Salmon. Our final story of the sometimes uncomfortable process of growing up comes from a slightly different angle. Becoming a parent and learning to navigate that very special relationship. Ernesto Quinones told it at the Majestic Theater in San Antonio, Texas, where we partnered with the San Antonio Book Festival. Here's Ernesto.
- [43:25]
Ernesto Quinones
So one day I'm doing the dishes, listening to Paul Simon's Graceland album when the lyrics My traveling companion is nine years old. He is the child of my first marriage speak to me. These lyrics speak to me in this subliminal manner that I cannot describe, only feel. And my daughter Scarlett at the time was nine years old. She was a child of a union that dissolved. And I connect with people I love through song lyrics. And it just made perfect poetry to go out and live that line. I had to go to Graceland. So I left the dishes and I excitedly knocked at her door. She said, come in. And her room was full, full of posters of kittens and puppies and plants. And she was sitting in the bed with her iPad and she was building something on Minecraft. And I said, scarlett, let's go to Graceland. And Scarlett said, what's that? And I said, well, it's where Elvis lived. Now she knows who Elvis was because I played her everything. I played her Fania All Stars, I played her country, I played her jazz, classical, reggae, I played her everything. And in fact, when she turned 5, I didn't give her a Barbie doll. I gave her an Elvis doll. And she took that doll and she destroyed it, took it apart and then threw it out the window. And something like that was happening with this idea of going to Graceland. So I went and damaged control and I said, scarlet, in Graceland, there's this room, it's got all these stuffed animals and elves used to play music there. It's called the jungle room. And she goes, wow, a jungle room. Why don't we just go to the Bronx, dad? They have a whole zoo. So I closed the door and let it be and I plotted. And I decided that when she was with me, because I shared custody of her when she was with me, I was just going to play the Graceland album. That's it. It was going to be the Graceland album. When we would wake up to have pizza for breakfast. It was going to be the Graceland album. When we came back from Central park or the museum and we were going to have pizza for lunch, it was going to be the Graceland album. When we had pizza for dinner in the background, it was going to be the Graceland album. The Graceland album was going to seep into her DNA. And that's what I did. Then one day, she's opening her laptop to watch this YouTube video of this Minecraft wizard called Stampy that she was really into. And as she's doing this, I hear her sing to herself. She's a rich girl and she don't try to hide it. I said, ah, I know that's from the Graceland album. It's not Graceland, but that's from the Graceland album, so it's working. And I say, scarlett, go to Graceland. And she goes, why do you want to go to Graceland so bad? I said, I think there's something there that's going to speak to me in some spiritual way, and I want to go and I want to go with you. And she's not really into it. I can see how her shoulders kind of dropped. And for some reason, I said, you know what, Scarlett? It's very American. And I think she put two and two together. She goes, is this a road trip, dad, because you don't drive. I said, yes, Scarlett, we're New Yorkers. We take cabs. But we can take a cab from the hotel to Graceland. I said, nowhere in the saunas? I said, they're driving, they're traveling. She goes, no, dad, they're driving because they're looking at the scenery, so he has to be driving. I said, well, they could be on a train. She goes, no, they're on a highway. The song says, they're on a highway. And I said, no, Scarlett, they're trains that go parallel to the highway. And then all of a sudden, I.
- [47:20]
Stephen Farrell
Realized, you don't want to go to.
- [47:21]
Ernesto Quinones
Graceland, and she doesn't want to say no. So she just, like, cowers a little and smiles a little. I said, fine. What happened with that day when I was doing the dishes? And the song lyric, my traveling companions, nine years old, was that it took me back to the past. It took me back to when I was a teenager and these musicians and these songs would speak to me in more powerful ways than my parents or any teacher could. I remember when I first heard Springsteen sing, you ain't a beauty, but hey, you're all right. This Gave me hope. Because if the boss can get away with such a terrible pickup line, I can do better, man. It took me back to listening to Hector Labo saying, yo soy la fama y si tu que de ha prender le mantate de la cama. If you want something, you got to work, man. You got to get out of bed, man. You got to chase. Took me back to listening to Roy Orbison in the dark. When you're 16 and full of self pity and excitement all at the same time, in fact, my daughter is connected to this kind of music that I love. In better days, in better times, her mother and I would play Scrabble listening to Bob Dylan's Rolling Thunder review. But it wasn't so much Dylan that captured us, but the fiddle player. Oh, the fiddle player. Her mother and I looked up who it was in the liner notes, and there it was. Scarlett Rivera. Latina. That's the baby's name. And I think my daughter kind of understood this because when I would play Dylan, she didn't exactly like it. You can see how Scarlett would cringe at this terrible voice, you know? But she somehow knew that her name was tied to this guy, so she always put up with him. But Graceland, she won none of it. Nine came and went. Blink of an eye. 10, 11. By 12, Scarlett was listening to her own music. She always had her earpods on iPhone. Whatever she's doing, she was listening to music. So I would basically play whatever I wanted. And sometimes she actually would make fun of my music. Like, for example, when I first played Neil Young, she said she laid on the couch and she had her head dangling. She goes, helpless, helpless.
- [50:00]
Ann Stewart
Help.
- [50:01]
Ernesto Quinones
She said that Neil Young sounded like he was singing from his deathbed. Only once did she ask, who's this, dad? Who's this? And I got really excited because I said, earth, wind and fire. You like them? And she went, ah. So, so, so, so. So I pretty much gave it up. Then one day, something magical happened, and I do not know why, because I was listening to Paul Simon, I was actually listening to George Harrison. And I realized that Scarlett was 12, but that the meter, the syllables of those lyrics were still intact. My traveling companion is 12 years old. That still works. The syllables are correct. And not only that, but Scarlett's now 12, and music is speaking to her the way that it spoke to me back then and continues to. So maybe she'll understand. So I thought, you know what? Let me go for it. My traveling companion is 12 years old. So I knocked at her door. She said, Come in. And her room is now full of posters of Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez and Ariana Grande. And she was doing a watercolor. And I said, scarlett, let's go to Graceland. And her face just dropped like this again. I thought this had died with the Disney Channel that I no longer watch. And I think she saw my expression, my panic or my disappointment, my sadness, whatever it was that she saw. Because then her expression changed, and it became very gentle. And she said, dad, all things must pass. All things must pass away. And I got really happy, because that's a George Harrison line. And I don't know if that was playing, but she had always been listening, and more importantly, she was speaking my language. So I closed the door because there was hope. Scarlett is now 14 going on 15. And we also live in Ithaca, New York, because I teach at Cornell University. And you have to take a bus to go from the campus to the downtown where our apartment is. And one day, about a month or so, two months ago, I'm on the bus and I saw my daughter in the street. And she was with two other friends. And they were laughing up a storm. And they were giggling and talking, being girls, being teenagers, as it should be. And it was freezing. There was smoke coming out of their mouths like dragons, but they didn't care. And I felt very happy for her. But at the same time, I couldn't help but to feel this painful nostalgia of when it was just me and her. And I realized that the Graceland thing was also telling me that, you know, we lose them. As soon as they are born, we start losing them. First the onesies go, then the diapers go, then preschool's over, then they lose their teeth. You try to save the teeth, and now for what? They decompose. They just become stains. And then grammar school's over, middle school's over. By high school, the child is gone. And Graceland was me wanting to live out this rock lyric that meant a lot to me before I completely lost her. You know, all my friends say, don't worry, don't worry, kids. Come back, she'll come back, she'll come back. You guys will be pals again. You know, she'll come back. And you know, I know this, I know this, I know this. And I'm hoping that some years down the road that maybe these lyrics will speak to her the way they speak to me or the way they spoke to me and continue to. And maybe one day in the future, the phone will ring and it will be scarlet. She'll say, dad, I have reason to believe we will both be received in Graceland. And you know what? Even though the lyric will be completely ruined, the but syllables, my Traveling Companion is 34 years old. I mean, it doesn't work. I'll say, yeah, let's go. Why not? You know, let's go. And I'll go to Graceland with my daughter. Maybe we'll see the ghost of Elvis. Who knows? It could happen, right? Good.
- [54:35]
Chloe Salmon
That was Ernesto Quinones. He was raised in Spanish Harlem, New York City, and is a product of public education from kindergarten to the City College of New York. He is an acclaimed novelist, essayist, screenplay writer, and a Sundance Writer's Lab fellow, and last appeared in the Blackout episode of PBS American Experience. His latest novel is titled Taina, and he is a professor at Cornell University. Ernesto and Scarlett continue to bond over music. Her Cheap Trick kick a few years back gets a notable mention.
- [55:13]
Ann Stewart
The Mississippi Delta was shining like a national guitar.
- [55:20]
Chloe Salmon
And while the trip to the home of Elvis has yet to manifest, there's always hope that one day they'll find themselves going to Graceland.
- [55:29]
Ann Stewart
I'm going to Graceland Graceland, Memphis, Tennessee I'm going to Graceland.
- [55:37]
Esther Goomby
Poor boys and.
- [55:39]
Ann Stewart
Pilgrims with families we are going to Graceland.
- [55:44]
Chloe Salmon
That's it for this episode of the Moth Radio Hour. Thank you to all of our storytellers in this episode for sharing and to you for listening. I hope you'll join us next time.
- [56:11]
Producer/Announcer
This episode of the Moth Radio Hour was produced by me, Jay Allison, Katherine Burns, and Chloe Salmon, who also hosted this show. Co producer is Vicki Merrick, associate producer Emily Couch. The stories were directed by Sarah Austin Janess. The rest of the Moth's leadership team includes Sarah Haberman, Jennifer Hickson, Meg Bowles, Kate Tellers, Jennifer Birmingham, Marina Cluce, Suzanne Rust, Brandon Grant, Inga Gladowski, Sarah Jane Johnson, and Aldi Caza. The Moth would like to thank the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation for their support of the Moth's global community program. Moth stories are true, as remembered and affirmed by the storytellers. Our theme music is by the Drift. Other music in this hour from Blue Dot Sessions, Charles Strauss, Stellwagen Symphonet, Regina Carter and Paul Simon. We receive funding from the National Endowment for the Arts. The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts. Special thanks to our friends at Odyssey, including executive producer Leah Reese Dennis. For more about our podcast, for information on pitching us your own story and everything else, go to our website, themoth.org.