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- [00:00]
Rosetta Stone Advertiser
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- [01:08]
ZipRecruiter Advertiser
The moth is supported by ZipRecruiter.com with ZipRecruiter.com you can post your job on all the top job sites over 50 total, including social networks like Facebook and Twitter, all with a single click. Find candidates in any industry nationwide and with ZipRecruiter's premium traffic boost, you can get up to three times more candid screen applicants. Rate them and hire the right person fast. Right now, Moth listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free, plus get 30% off your first traffic boost by going to ZipRecruiter.com moth that's ZipRecruiter.com moth Welcome to the Moth Podcast.
- [01:50]
Dan Kennedy
I'm Dan Kennedy and this week we're very excited to share with you a couple of stories from our Moth Story Slam series. Ah man, I can remember when we first started doing these things and we now have story slams in 21 cities. People come drop their name into the hat and then 10 people are called up to share a five minute story on the theme of the night and we never quite know what folks are going to say until they go on. This first story is from one of our Slam nights in Portland, Oregon. Leah Benson got up to share a story with us and it went like this. Here's Leah.
- [02:33]
Leah Benson
So his name was Carlos. We'd worked together in Quetzaltenango, Guatemala, where I'd been living for a couple of years, and by this point we'd been living together for about six months, but I'd been secretly in love with him for about nine. He'd recently started working at this bar called Bohemios, which we'd been hanging out at for months. It was this really crappy, awful dive bar that catered to American tourists. You know, the kind of place that pours, like, really light beer, awful stuff, but blares the best and worst music from the 70s, 80s and 90s, all from the United States, so that people want to come in there, but no one really did. But we hung out there every night, singing along to songs like Unbreak My Heart and Living on a Prayer and doing our best to translate every single word for the locals hanging out in there into Spanish so that they could ironically appreciate everything as well. But anyway, it was really exciting when he started working there. So Carlos came home one night to our apartment, and it was fairly late, like 1 or 2am But I was, of course, waiting up for him like I always did, because I just wanted to see him. And he came in, he told me a little bit about the night, the funny stories about what the drunks did, and then he went to go take a shower. But before doing that, he laid down this pile of books that he had brought with him to the bar. Something to look at, you know, during the slow hours. And as he walked away, I, of course, looked at it because I always wanted to know what he was reading, you know, so that I knew what I should be reading too. So, like, you know, the next time he asked me who my favorite poet was, I knew that I should say something like Ezra Pound instead of William Blake. So on this particular night, he was reading a collection of T.S. eliot poems. And when I bent down to pick up the book, this piece of paper fell out onto the floor. And I could immediately recognize his somewhat childish handwriting. And I couldn't see much, but I could see that it was written in Spanish. And I saw the phrase, no puerto vivir sinti. I know. I was like, oh, my God. And in that moment, I knew, I knew that this letter was written for me. It was a love letter that Carlos had written out for me and me alone to see. And so I ran, I went to get my dictionary, because there are two things you should know about Carlos. First off, he is the son of US diplomats and had grown up in Spanish speaking countries his entire life. And so he was fluent. And I lived in Guatemala for a couple of years. And so I was fluent in the way that I might write. Like, fluent on My job resume, but not actually fluent, you know? And so I knew I'd need some help. And number two was that Carlos had a degree in poetry from Yale. And so I knew whatever he was going to be writing to me was going to be in that, like, absolutely beautiful and totally incomprehensible way that poets express themselves. So I got my dictionary and I started translating, and it was amazing. Like, the first line was, when I first met you, I was afraid, but now I can't live without you. And I just stopped exactly what I'd been wanting to say to him for months. This is exactly what I'd wanted to be hearing. And I couldn't believe it had been happening. I had given up my life essentially to be with this man. I'd stayed living in this foreign country when I could have been returning to the United States to start a career and stuff. And instead, I just stayed with him. And we spent every moment together. We knew everything about one another, and we shared our hopes and dreams and all these things. And I knew that we were in love, but I'd never heard. Heard it from him before. And so I was just so excited. And so I just got back to reading, and it got even better from there. It turned from him being afraid to him not being able to live without me and all of these really amazing things. And I was allowing myself. Like, my mind was running wild, and I was imagining how he would walk out of the bathroom, and I walk towards him, and I would, like, embrace him and passionately kiss him and run my hands through his amazing hair. And I would just let him know that I felt the same. And at this moment, I remember something running through my head. Like, you know, if something's too good to be true, that it might be too good. So. But then I was like, you know what? Fuck it. This is actually true. Like, this is happening. This guy wrote a letter to me. And so I continued reading. I opened back up my dictionary, and that's when shit got a little bit weird. Because all of a sudden, the next line that I was reading was talking about how I had done him wrong. And it's like I. It didn't say Leah exactly, but I knew it was about me. And I was like, I never, ever done this man wrong. Like, I have committed myself to this relationship, to being the perfect, perfect person for him. Like, I don't know what he's talking about. And then all of a sudden, it just, like, hit me. And this translation that I was doing became so clear, all the words just like, formed in front of me. And I, at that point just crossed my fingers, took a deep breath and just like pleaded with the universe, hoping that the next words that I would read on this page of this love letter would not be what I thought that they were. But then I opened my eyes and I looked down and I saw voy a sobre vivir. And at that moment, I just started to cry because I realized Carlos didn't love me. He never did, never was going to. And I wasn't reading a love letter. I was reading a translation of the Gloria Gaynor hit song I Will Survive. And at that point, I wasn't entirely sure that I would.
- [08:20]
Dan Kennedy
Leah Benson is originally from Conover, Wisconsin and now lives in Portland, Oregon, where she owns an award winning bike shop for women and co hosts the brand new Snack Parade podcast. So at the end of each story slam, there's a winner that's chosen. And a couple of times a year, all the people who win story slams get together and we have a grand slam where they all face off against each other at a 2011 Grand Slam that we did here in New York City. One of my personal favorites, Steve Zimmer, got up and he did what Steve Zimmer does. Here's Steve.
- [09:12]
Steve Zimmer
Tempest Fugit. It's Latin for time flies. When I'm eight years old, I don't know what tempus fugit means, but I know time flies. I'm late for everything. And in school, I do my work too slow. I have fantasies about slowing down time or going back in it. I read a lot of comic books, but even there, no one controls time. But one day I'm in the comic book stories and I see this new title about this hero who's able to go back in time in order to right wrongs and evade the authorities. His name, Tempest Fugitive. The good news is I found my hero. The bad news is I'm 35 years old. Time flies. Now, major, major heroes like Spider man titles have the same problem. Too big to fail. You know they're going to prevail. There's no suspense. But a comic like Tempest Fugitive could fold at any time, as could its upstart publisher, Dark Horse Comics, in which case, they probably killed the Tempest Fugitive for edginess. So when I'm reading it, I never know until the very last moment if Tempest Fugitive will live to see another day. My girlfriend, Jen, is unaware of my membership in the graphic novel community. Our relationship is simple. I love her, she almost loves me. And so I'm always striving to make a good impression on her, which means over represent the good, underrepresent the bad, misrepresent the very bad. And. But one day I am opening my mail in her presence and she sees my annual invite to the New York comic book convention covered with brightly colored images of superheroes. And in front is the Incredible Hulk saying, you come back to comic convention or Hulk very angry. This is really bad. Not only does Jen know my secret identity, but. But the Hulk defeated me using only verbal skills. But Jen's cool about it. She's kind of suspected something like this and she wants to go to the convention. So two months later, we're standing in front of Javits center and Jen's like, do you have the tickets? And I'm like, yes. And I pull out the envelope that the tickets came in and I realized the tickets themselves I had put in the. They're by my apartment door in the outbox. Jen gave me to remember stuff. Luckily, observing my parents marriage has taught me how to deal with these stressful situations. So I'm like, this whole thing was a bad idea. I wish you'd let me come alone. And Jen just looks at me and holds up the tickets and we enter silently. Now inside we see this goth girl who's got this Mervyn Pumpkinhead figurine, which is, you know, she's the character from the Dreaming Castle in the Sandman series who literally has, you know, a pumpkin head. And Jen and I glance at each other on our first date. You know, the brunch, the place we're at offered your choice of muffin and you know, we both picked pumpkin and realized that, you know, we like pumpkin everything. Pie, ice cream, ale. And our fifth date was near Halloween and we actually independently got each other those mini pumpkins. And one of us even wrote a little pumpkin for my little pumpkin. Anyway, the point is, this lightens the mood. So after three hours at the convention, Jen is half amused, half appalled, like when we make love. But then she's like, you know, I've got some calls I can make. Why don't we just meet at the front entrance at 2? So I'm like, great. And I go off because there's some booths that I should, but I'm better off visiting by myself. And when I look at my watch, it's 2:30. I'm like. Because Jen's two main issues with me are immaturity and tardiness. So being 30 minutes late for. For the comic book convention when I'm already at the convention is like connecting the dots in a way that could break the camel's back. Or at the very least provide evidence to the people in her life who doubt me, like her friends and her family and my family. So, you know, I start sprinting towards the front entrance and, you know, then I'm on the main floor and I'm sprinting past and I don't know these people, but they're also familiar to the superheroes and super villains. And then I feel awkward because I've got a bright red shirt and, you know, it's like, I hope they don't think I'm the Flash because, you know, you're not allowed to do active costume play on the floor of the convention. And, you know, and then out of the corner of my eye, I see, you know, my way back in time. It's the goth. It's the goth girl with Mervyn Pumpkinhead. So I'm like. And I go over there, I run up to her and I, you know, I got 53 bucks. And I'm like, I'll give you 40 bucks for Mervyn Pumpkinhead. And she's like, sure. So I take it and I run away and I start running. Now, if you're at a crowded comic book convention and a middle aged man approaches a teenage girl and gives her a lot of money for a weird looking figurine, it's totally okay. So I'm running toward the front door, running up the steps, and there's Jen. And I'm like, oh my God, I was totally on time. But then it was long line for this doll. And she just looks at me and I'm like, a little pumpkin. She's like, no. So I just hand it to her and she looks at it like you might look at an incoming phone number you don't recognize. And then she says, maybe we should just go to this like every other year. And it's not until that very last moment that I know Tempest Fugitive will live to see another day. Thank you.
- [15:38]
Dan Kennedy
Steve Zimmer. Another round of applause for Steve. Steve Zimmer lives in New York City and has been telling stories at the moth since 2006.
- [15:49]
ZipRecruiter Advertiser
The moth is supported by ZipRecruiter.com with ZipRecruiter.com you can post your job on all the top job sites, over 50 total, including social networks like Facebook and Twitter, all with a single click. Find candidates in any industry nationwide. And with ZipRecruiter's premium traffic boost, you can get up to three times more candidates. Screen applicants, rate them, and hire the right person fast. Right now, Moth listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free, plus get 30% off your first traffic boost by going to ZipRecruiter.com moth that's ZipRecruiter.com moth moth events are.
- [16:30]
Dan Kennedy
Recorded by Argo Studios in New York City, supervised by Paul Ruest. Podcast audio production by Whitney Jones. The Moth Podcast and the Radio Hour are presented by prx, the Public Radio Exchange, helping make public radio more public@prx.org.
- [16:48]
ZipRecruiter Advertiser
Dan Kennedy is author of the books Loser Goes First Rock on and American Spirit. He's a regular host and performer with the Moth when he's not on Twitter.
- [16:58]
Dan Kennedy
Thanks to all of you for listening. We hope you have a story worthy week.