The Moth Podcast: "Mike Daisey: What Was Learned in London"

Introduction

In the episode titled "What Was Learned in London," Mike Daisey takes listeners on a poignant journey through his early aspirations, challenging experiences in a British acting program, and the profound personal lessons he garnered. Recorded live at The Moth in 2005, under the theme "The Show Must Go On: Stories About the Bizarre," Daisey's narrative delves deep into the complexities of ambition, identity, and human connection.

Pursuing the Dream: Aspiring for Authenticity

At 19, Mike Daisey harbored a burning desire to refine his acting skills in London, aspiring to evolve into a "real actor" (02:50). Dissatisfied with his performances in the U.S., where he often found himself typecast as "the fat retarded guy," Daisey felt emotionally detached during his roles, lacking the "rich inner life" necessary for authentic acting (03:20). This emotional void propelled him to seek training abroad, hoping that the ghosts of legendary actors like Gielgud and Olivier would validate his struggles and guide him toward genuine emotional expression.

A Harsh Awakening: The British Acting Program

Upon arriving in London, Daisey enrolled in a British acting program that starkly contrasted his American experience. Unlike the "touchy feely" approach he was accustomed to, the British program resembled "boot camp for actors" (05:10). Under the stern guidance of Instructor Anna, Daisey faced intense daily monologue memorization and harsh critiques. Anna's relentless feedback, such as declaring a performer "boring" when they failed to captivate her, created a formidable and almost punitive environment (08:30). This grueling regimen felt more like torture than training, leaving Daisey yearning for deeper, more meaningful interactions beyond the rigid structure of rehearsals.

Finding a Community: Joining South of the Thames

Seeking a genuine connection with fellow English actors, Daisey ventured "south of the Thames" (12:15), an area far removed from the polished theater circles of central London. Here, he discovered an abandoned church serving as a makeshift theater for a local company staging Carol Churchill's play, "Vinegar Tom." Embraced by the group, he became the first new member in decades, joining a tight-knit community where members lived modestly, often on welfare, dedicating their lives to the performing arts despite limited means (14:50).

Rehearsals and Unexpected Bonds: The Scene with Tamsin

During rehearsals, Daisey was assigned a pivotal scene involving a contentious and emotionally charged interaction with a fellow actress named Tamsin. The scene, intended to culminate in an attempted rape, pushed Daisey into uncomfortable territory. He recounts his struggle to perform the scene authentically, grappling with personal discomfort and the director's demanding vision for graphic realism (19:00). The repetitive, intense rehearsals led to a complex relationship with Tamsin, blurring the lines between performance and reality. Their time together extended beyond rehearsals, leading to intimate moments that contrasted sharply with the harshness of their professional interactions.

Unveiling the Truth: Tamsin's Hidden Life

As Daisey immersed himself in the community, he uncovered distressing truths about Tamsin's life. Initially unaware of her status, Daisey learned that Tamsin was not only a struggling actress but also a prostitute (24:30). This revelation came as a shock, as it had been an unspoken reality within the group. The discovery of Tamsin's dual life introduced a layer of complexity and vulnerability to their relationship, leaving Daisey feeling humiliated and conflicted about how to address the newfound knowledge (27:15).

Emotional Turmoil: Coping with Hidden Realities

Daisey's decision to avoid confronting these revelations led to mounting stress and confusion. Tamsin's struggles with substance abuse added further strain, as he grappled with supporting someone he was falling in love with while being oblivious to her hardships (31:00). A particularly harrowing encounter with Tamsin's pimp underscored the precariousness of their situation, leaving Daisey feeling powerless and overwhelmed (35:20). The inability to communicate openly about these issues only deepened his emotional turmoil, highlighting the complexities of relationships formed under intense and isolating circumstances.

Lessons Learned: The Power of Listening and True Connection

Ultimately, Daisey reflects on the profound lessons gleaned from his London experience, emphasizing the importance of genuine listening and human connection. Despite the technical skills and acting prowess he developed, it was Tamsin who "taught [him] that all acting, all art, the human experience itself depends on listening, really listening" (44:10). This realization transcended his artistic endeavors, affirming that authentic connection and empathy are foundational to both personal growth and effective storytelling.

Conclusion: A Transformative Journey

Mike Daisey's story in "What Was Learned in London" is a testament to the transformative power of challenging experiences and unexpected relationships. Through the highs and lows of his time in London, Daisey navigated the complexities of ambition, identity, and love, ultimately discovering that true artistry lies in the ability to listen and connect deeply with others. His narrative serves as a compelling reminder that the most valuable lessons often emerge from the most difficult and unconventional paths.

Notable Quotes

• "I was doing something fundamentally wrong when I was acting because I didn't feel anything." — Mike Daisey (02:50)
• "The moment you were not absolutely fucking fascinating, the moment you did not hold her attention 100%, she would tell you, 'You're boring me.'" — Mike Daisey (07:45)
• "I wanted that so badly. And more than anything else, I just wanted to feel, feel something." — Mike Daisey (04:20)
• "Without her, I never would have learned that all acting, all art, the human experience itself depends on listening, really listening." — Mike Daisey (44:10)

This summary encapsulates Mike Daisey's heartfelt and intricate story, highlighting the key moments and emotional depth of his journey in London. Through structured sections and impactful quotes, it provides a comprehensive overview for those who haven't listened to the episode.