Mike Dang & Caitlin Brodnick: StorySLAM Favorites

Summary

The Moth Podcast: Mike Dang & Caitlin Brodnick – StorySLAM Favorites

Release Date: August 7, 2012

---

Introduction

In this episode of The Moth podcast, listeners are treated to two captivating stories from the StorySLAM series, a competitive open mic event held in seven cities across the United States. Hosted by Dan Kennedy, the episode features heartfelt and intense narratives from Mike Dang and Caitlin Brodnick, each exploring unique themes of workplace dynamics and personal transformation.

---

Mike Dang: Navigating Toxic Leadership

Timestamp: [02:54] – [13:02]

Mike Dang shares a harrowing account of his experience with a manipulative and threatening boss during his tenure as a student housing information center advisor at his college campus. At just 20 years old, Mike recounts the challenges he faced under two different supervisors—Emily and Rick—and the extreme measures Rick took to assert his dominance.

Key Points and Discussions:

• Positive Start with Emily: Mike begins by describing his admiration for his first boss, Emily, highlighting her approachable nature and memorable anecdotes that endeared her to the staff. Emily’s support made Mike feel valued, as she even offered him beer during a staff event:
  “She tells me, Mike, we love you. Everyone here loves you. Yes, we will let you have your job, and you're the only one that we've ever let do this.” ([04:30])

• Transition to Rick: Upon Emily’s promotion, Rick takes over as Mike's supervisor. Initially, Rick's attempts to bond, such as taking weekly walks, seem benign but soon reveal his controlling nature. Mike feels uncomfortable with Rick’s constant attention and insincere compliments:
  “You're so funny. You're such a great tour guide.” ([06:20])

• Unveiling Rick’s Dark Side: The situation escalates when Mike discovers Rick’s blog, which contains disturbing fantasies about harming him. This revelation forces Mike to confront the reality of Rick’s intentions and the potential threat to his safety.

• Institutional Response: Despite presenting evidence to higher-ups, Mike faces institutional neglect. His superior, Kim, advises him to leave work without taking concrete action against Rick, leaving Mike feeling powerless and conflicted:
  “I couldn't be the sort of person who fires someone and have me be the reason why someone is fired.” ([11:15])

• Climactic Confrontation: The episode culminates in a tense confrontation where Rick apologizes, but the damage is done. Mike walks away, recognizing the importance of self-preservation over institutional loyalty.

Notable Quotes:

• “He wants to kill you, and this is not okay. Also, you need to figure out if fantasies actually lead to actual murder.” ([10:50])

• “My face hits the table with a thwack.” – Describing the shock from Rick’s blog revelations ([09:40])

---

Caitlin Brodnick: The Collapse of a Life Coaching Dream

Timestamp: [13:34] – [19:40]

Caitlin Brodnick narrates her tumultuous experience with a life coach who initially promised to transform her life but ultimately abandoned her, leaving her grappling with self-doubt and identity crises.

Key Points and Discussions:

• Enthusiastic Beginnings: Caitlin expresses her eagerness to reinvent herself through life coaching, motivated by a desire to shed her perceived flaws:
  “I've always wanted to be something completely different. I'm really loud for my family. I'm not good at sports.” ([14:00])

• Initial Progress and Commitment: She details the structured approach of her life coach, involving deep introspection and personal development exercises. Caitlin felt genuinely supported, receiving thoughtful gestures like an expensive bracelet:
  “She gave me a charm, a bracelet charm, that was $57, because I googled it.” ([16:10])

• Sudden Reversal: The narrative takes a turn when the life coach abruptly ends their relationship, citing that Caitlin’s life is too overwhelming and suggesting she seek therapy instead. This unexpected rejection leaves Caitlin feeling devastated and questioning her self-worth:
  “If a coach says to you, 'Your life sucks,' I was like, I'm not gonna kill myself.” ([18:05])

• Self-Reflection and Resilience: Through the pain, Caitlin discovers inner strength and a sense of pride in her resilience. She realizes that the situation highlighted her own worth and capacity to overcome adversity:
  “I felt really proud at that moment. And so through all of this, I found some way to be calm and happy.” ([19:00])

Notable Quotes:

• “Your life is really overwhelming to me and really stressful and I can't handle you.” – Life coach’s justification for ending their relationship ([17:30])

• “I'm the only person I've ever met whose life was too much for a life coach.” – Caitlin’s realization of her uniqueness and strength ([19:10])

---

Conclusion

This episode delves deep into the complexities of personal and professional relationships. Mike Dang's story underscores the dangers of toxic leadership and institutional inadequacies, while Caitlin Brodnick’s experience highlights the vulnerabilities in seeking personal transformation and the resilience required to overcome unexpected setbacks. Both narratives offer profound insights into human behavior, self-worth, and the journey toward personal empowerment.

---

About the Speakers:

• Mike Dang: Residing in New York, Mike is a co-editor at the Billfold, where he explores topics related to life and finances. After years of working under others, he now thrives as his own boss.

• Caitlin Brodnick: Originally from Maryland and a Syracuse University alumna, Caitlin moved to New York to co-create Shut Up, an all-female storytelling show at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater. She is a regular performer in the city and has a passion for puppies and ice cream.

---

Additional Information:

For more stories and live events, visit themoth.org. The Moth continues to inspire audiences with authentic, unscripted storytelling that bridges the gap between storyteller and listener through shared human experiences.

Transcript

[Intuit Sponsor]

This is a message from sponsor Intuit. TurboTax Taxes was waiting and wondering and worrying if you were going to get any money back and then waiting, wondering and worrying some more. Now Taxes is matching with a TurboTax expert who can do your taxes as soon as today. An expert who gives your taxes their undivided attention as they work on your return while you get real time updates on their progress so you can focus on your day. An expert who will find you every deduction possible and file every form, every investment, Every everything with 100% accuracy all so you can get the most money back guaranteed. No waiting, no wondering, no worries. Now this is Taxes. Get an Expert now on TurboTax.com only available with TurboTax Live full service real time updates only in iOS mobile app. See guarantee [e-mail] guarantees the Apple Watch.

[Apple Representative]

Series 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever. It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist whether you're running, swimming or sleeping. And it's the fastest charging Apple Watch, getting you eight hours of charge in just 15 minutes. The Apple Watch Series 10, available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum compared to previous generations, iPhone Xs are later required. Charge time and actual results will vary.

[Dan Kennedy]

Welcome to the Moth Podcast. I'm Dan Kennedy. This podcast is brought to you by Audible.com, the Internet's leading provider of audiobooks with more than 100,000 downloadable titles across all types of literature. For the Moth listeners, Audible is offering a free audiobook to give you a chance to try out their service. You may like to consider listening to Liz Free or Die, written and read by Liz Winstead, one of the Moth's dynamic storytellers. In her collection of essays, Liz humorously reveals her childhood longings, her role in developing the Daily show, and her habit of diving into everything headfirst. That's Liz Liz Free or Die, written and read by comedian and social critic Liz Winstead. It's available from Audible. To try Audible Free today and get a free audiobook of your choice, go to audible.comthemoth that's audible.comthemoth this week we bring you two stories from our Story Slam series. And as you probably know, our Story Slams are the open mic stories storytelling competitions that we do in seven cities across the country. Now, our first story, told by Mike Dang, was told live at a Story Slam in New York City earlier this year and the theme of the night was Bosses.

[Mike Dang]

So I am 20 years old and I am on my college campus, sitting in the student housing center, and I'm begging, begging for my job. I'm student housing information center advisor. So I'm one of those people who sits at a desk and answers questions from, you know, parents or students who have questions before they come to campus. And I also give tours of student housing, and I'm going to study abroad. And you can't be a tour guide if you're studying abroad because all the tours happen during the summer when students are looking at housing. And my boss is Emily, and I love her. She's 26 years old and. And I feel like she is a billion years older than me, but she's six years older than me, and she's gorgeous, and she's the nicest Republican I've ever met. And she likes to tell deprecating stories about herself during staff meetings. Like the time when she was in college and she was running a half marathon and, you know, 100ft before the finish line, she accidentally goes number two in her pants so she doesn't finish. And then during our stage, after dinner, she lets me drink her beer because I'm 20 years old and I'm practically old enough anyway. And she tells me, mike, we love you. Everyone here loves you. Yes, we will let you have your job, and you're the only one who we've ever let do this. So I go and I go to study in Cambridge, and I come back and I walk into the office, and Emily is not there. She's been promoted across campus. And in her place is Rick, and he is 29 years old, and he's from Kentucky. And he comes up to me and he says, so you're Mike. You're the tour guide that everyone's been talking about, and I really want to get to know you. So, you know, during my time there, I was just trying to get used to this new boss. And anytime they wanted to send some documents to the housing office that Emily was now working at, I would beg them to send me so I can go see her. And Rick really wanted to bond with me, so he asked me if he. He could take weekly walks with me around the campus just to get to know me. And I say, okay. And I go and I say, okay, so what do you want to talk about? And he says, well, I just really want to be your friend because everyone seems to like you, and I want to be your friend, and it's very important for me that I am your friend, too. And I said, oh, I'm sure everything will be Fine, because what else do you say in that situation? So he goes on a lot of my tours, and he just to watch me give tours and gush about campus life. And he laughs at all the jokes. Like the one time during my freshman year when I threw a burning cake out the window because I accidentally bought trick candles. And the fire department came and they saw this cake burning on the grass, and parents are laughing about that, and he's laughing at that, and he says, you're so funny. You're such a great tour guide. And I say, thank you. And I run away because I don't like compliments. So he keeps on asking me to go on these walks with me. And every time he asks me to go on a walk with him, I say, oh, okay. And he can tell that I don't like to go on walks with him, and I just really want him to just be my boss and to leave me alone. And he stops and he gets really stolen. He stops talking to me. And during lunch one day, I bring up a discussion I had in one of my classes about how 30 days after conception, a fetus sort of looks like a shrimp. And he looks down at his salad and he pushes it away, gets up in disgust, and he says, come to my office right now. And I say, okay. And he says, that was very inappropriate. You shouldn't say that. You don't know what people have been through. So the next semester, I find out everything that Rick has been through. I'm sitting at the information center, and I have to go to the bathroom. So I call into the office and I say, can someone please take over for me? And the office is busy, so Rick says he'll come and sit at the desk and man the computer and man the questions. And he does. And I go to the bathroom, and I get a snack, and I come back, and Rick doesn't say anything to me. And when I sit down, I look at my screen and it's blank. And I'm a little upset because I had my eight tabs, you know, for my websites there, and he closed them all. So I think, well, that's unfair. And I pull up the browser history to find my tabs, and I see everything that Rick has been looking at. And that's when I find his blog. And that's when I find everything that Rick has been hiding from everyone. All his sexual encounters, which I sort of gloss over because that makes me nervous. So I just sort of, you know, skip over to the other parts where he's doing drugs and then to the parts where he gets over the drugs. And then I'm reading about me, and it says, I hope that Mike eats some shrimp one day and chokes on it and dies. And I think, oh, my gosh. Because I don't swear. I immediately press command F because I want to. Every single mention of my name. And I find another post where he's taking me on a walk, and he lures me into a basement and he locks me a tank of water, and he just stands there and watches me drown. And then in another post, I'm having dinner with him and I'm eating and I'm choking, and he just sits there and he watches me choke. And then my face hits the table with a thwack. So I sit there stunned, just completely stunned. And I'm not like a normal person who would want to call the police. So I blame myself for all of it. And because I'm a son of a tiger mother, and I just learned to blame myself for everything. So was I not nice enough to Rick? Was I too nice to other people? But then I got some sense into myself and said, no, you idiot. He wants to kill you, and this is not okay. Also, you need to figure out if fantasies actually lead to actual murder. So after my shift is over, I clear the browsing history and I go into the office and I get my backpack, and I'm trying not to look at Rick because I feel his eyes on me, and I feel like if I look into his eyes, I'm going to scream. And I walk out the door and I run to my car, and I check the back seat of my car to make sure Rick is not sitting in the backside. Because if Rick is the sort of person who has murder fantasies, I'm the sort of person who has fantasies of being murdered all the time. So I drive home to my roommate staff, and she is in the housing office, too. She works as administrative assistant. And I want to tell her about it. And if this is a horror film, Rick would have tied her to a chair, and he would be standing there waiting for me to draw me in the bathtub. And he totally would, because I'm only five'seven and I only weigh 120 pounds. And that's very easy to overpower. But Seth is just sitting there watching Friends. And I say, hey, can I show you a website? And she says, sure. And I show her the blog, and she says, oh, my gosh. Well, not oh, my gosh, she swore, but. And she says, what are you gonna do? And I said, I Think I'm gonna print this entire website out because if you deletes it, I'm gonna need proof. So I do, and I print it. And she said, now what? And I say, I'm call Emily because I love Emily, and she. She was my boss and she would know what to do. So I call Emily and I say, I just sent you a link to a website. Can you look at it and tell me what to do? And she swears on the phone, and then she says, you need to call Kim. Kim is her boss and Rick's boss, and I need to talk to Kim. So I talked to Kim, I email her, and Kim says, I'm not going to be on campus for two days, so can you wait just two days? And I say, okay. And I wait for two days, and Kim meets with me for coffee. And we're sitting there and she's like, so what did you want to meet about? And I said, here, just look at these papers. And I hand her the stack of papers, and she looks at it, and she was like, why did you wait two days? I would have come back immediately. Don't come to work. Just go home. We will call you when we have something. You know, when we figure out what we're gonna do. So I go home, and I realized that I had given Kim the stack of papers and I hadn't printed out a second copy. When I go onto the website, it's been deleted. And Kim calls me and she says, don't come to work. You'll get your paycheck. And I realize that she realizes I'm gonna sue the university, but I would never do that. So a week later, I'm sitting in the office, and she says, so we decided, you know, Rick was upset for a second. He wrote some things on a website that he probably shouldn't have done, but. So we're not going to let him go. He needs this job. But if you really want him to be fired, and we will fire him. And I thought about it for a second, and I couldn't be the sort of person who fires someone and have me be the reason why someone is fired. So I said, I guess Rick can keep his job, because why would I fire someone who wants to kill me? Because he would kill me. So she says, okay, then we'll have Rick come in here and apologize. And I say, okay. So he comes in and he looks sad, and he starts to bawl and cry. And I'm just sitting there and I don't know what to do. And he says he's so sorry and he didn't mean it and he would have never done any of those things. And I said, yeah, and everyone knows now you would never get away with it. And I just stand up and I walk out of the office. Thank you.

[Dan Kennedy]

Mike Dang lives in New York and is a co editor at the Billfold, where he writes about life and money. After several years of working for other people, he is now happily his own boss. The next story you're about to hear by Kaitlin Brodnick was told live at a moth story slam last year. And the theme of the night was warning signs. Here's Caitlin.

[Caitlin Brodnick]

So I was dumped by my life coach. It was two years ago. My entire life. I've always wanted to be a part of a makeover. I've always wanted to be something completely different. I'm really loud for my family. I'm not good at sports. And I got really emotional in drama class if I didn't get to play Juliet. I just wasn't like the most calm, perfect, simple girl that you read about or that's a leading ingenue in something. And so one of my friends was telling me that she got, she is now a life coach and she said that she would give me free life coaching lessons one day a week in a rented out doctor's office. And I was like, oh my God, this is incredible. Like, I don't even understand what this is, but it's free. And I like, I'm a babysitter. Like, let's do it. So I was so excited. So she the first day it starts and you have to take away all of the thoughts, everything that you believe makes you a whole person. Just disperse it, just move it away, just slash it all off. Because we're starting from ground one with her book that she brought. And we had little journal entries that we could fill out. And on the back of the COVID there were two old yogis. They were wrinkly. They looked, I think it was a man and a woman. They looked really similar and they were wearing glasses. So I was like, this is completely legitimate. They look way smarter than I am. So we started and right before we had this meeting where we just talked about our feelings and I got wasted off of red wine with her when we went out to dinner and paid $80 and was like, yes, this is an investment. You're going to make me a better person. I'm going to come out of this like smart and cool and fun and really skinny. And I had all these crazy great ideas so this first meeting, she gave me a charm, a bracelet charm, that was $57, because I googled it. And I thought that was really nice of her because that meant that she spent $50, $57 to me, and she was ready to change my life. So you start reading, and in the beginning, you take away everything, you ignore everything, and you look at your feelings. So in the house of feelings, which I was coloring with crayons, I found that in the house of discipline, I felt in the house of discipline, I didn't take it seriously. And the house of commitment was a lot of deep reds. And I felt like it was claustrophobic. So I was like, oh, my God, maybe I don't want to get married. Maybe I want to run away. Maybe I need to be a free person. And I planned a trip with my family. And then you're supposed to look back in the point in your life where you were the most happy and the most alive. And it was when I was 13 and I went to Italy with my grandma and 52 senior citizens. And I got a lot of attention because I was young and fun and American, and nobody thought I was smelly or weird or cared about my braces. So I was like, that's it. I'm going to be Italian now. And I just, you know, the brain goes. My brain just went crazy, so. And so I was really easy at that. So I was really, really excited. And then she tells me that she thinks that I would be an amazing life coach one day, and that she thinks that maybe if she ever gets an acting opportunity or an acting job, I could take over for her so I could be the vice president. So I was like, perfect. That shows your commitment. It shows that you believe in me, shows that you also are an actress that wants to get out of this. And so I, like, really focused on it. So then she took a weekend vacation and went with her yogis and her life coach mentors to Costa Rica. And I was like, this is the coolest thing. Like, she is going to a tropical island with people that are way smarter than her. Her life is going to change. It's going to be incredible. So she comes back and I'm texting her saying, I can't wait to see you. I worked on my homework where you have to have your positive affirmations. My information was that, like, I'm calm, I'm really cool, I'm super, super skinny, and I'm totally okay with myself. And you had to say that over and over again. And I was like, I am fabulous. So then she came back and sent me an email and was like, hey, girly girl, here's the thing. I was talking with my mentors, and you came up in our conversations, and it's like, I love you and everything about you, but your life is really overwhelming to me and really stressful and I can't handle you. I feel stifled by your life. I can't take this. Plus, I think you should take more medication. So then the text messages followed, please, please, please see a therapist. I love you. Xoxo. You're so fun. You're so great, but are you seeing someone? And I was shocked. I was leveled. I was just flattened because it's like, who says they can't? You know, if a coach says to you, you're really bad at basketball, you should try another intramural sport, you do it. But if your life coach says to you, your life sucks. I was like, I'm not gonna kill myself. So I was so upset. So I go to my boyfriend and I was like crying, and I was like, and I'm not even worth changing into somebody cooler. And he was like, well, let's like, go over who this boy. And I was like, okay. And I was like, well, you know, she's a chain smoker. I think she's anorexic. She lives at home with her mom, and she still keeps her boyfriend's things in her house, though they haven't talked in 10 months because she doesn't want to have the talk to see if they're broken up yet. And he just stares at me and he's like, maybe you just really wanted to go on a juice fast. Maybe that's what this was. Maybe you wanted to lose £10. And it's true. And, but. And the thing is, I felt so upset, but then I thought for this first time, like, I was telling my family, and I was like, you know, I'm the only person I've ever met whose life was too much for a life coach. I felt really proud at that moment. And so through all of this, I found some way to be calm and happy.

[Mike Dang]

Thanks.

[Dan Kennedy]

Caitlin Brognan is originally from Maryland. She moved to New York after attending Syracuse University. She's the co creator of Shut up, an all female storytelling show seen at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, and she performs regularly around the city. Caitlin loves puppies and ice cream. This podcast is brought to you by Audible.com, the Internet's leading provider of audiobooks with more than 100,000 downloadable TV titles across all types of literature and featuring audio versions of many New York Times bestsellers. To try Audible Free today and get a free audiobook of your choice, go to audible.com themoth that's audible.com themoth hey, we've got some exciting news. The story slams that we do are starting next month in Seattle. Also in Portland, Oregon, Milwaukee, and Boston. So hit the site themoth.org and get dates, venue locations, all that stuff, and we hope to see you at a show.

[Mike Dang]

Our podcast host, Dan Kennedy is the author of the book Rock An Office Power Ballad. Learn [e-mail] thanks to all of you.

[Dan Kennedy]

For listening and we hope you have a story worthy week. Podcast audio production by Paul Ruest at the Argo Studios in New York Podcast hosting by PRX Public Radio Exchange helping make public Radio more [e-mail].