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- [00:01]
Paul Bacon
The Apple Watch Series 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever. It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist whether you're running, swimming or sleeping. And it's the fastest charging Apple Watch, getting you eight hours of charge in just 15 minutes. The Apple Watch Series 10, available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum compared to previous generations. IPhone XS are later required. Charge time and actual results will vary.
- [00:30]
Dan Kennedy
As we approach the end of the year. I'm thinking about the next Next year is the year I finally make my Spanish better than my 9 year olds. Rosetta Stone is the most trusted language learning program available on desktop or as an app, and it truly immerses you in the language that you want to learn. I can't wait to use Rosetta Stone and finally speak better than my 9 year old who's been learning Spanish in his own way. Rosetta Stone is the trusted expert for 30 years with millions of users and 25 languages offered. Spanish, French, Italian, German, Korean. I could go on fast language acquisition. Rosetta Stone immerses you in many ways. There are no English translations, so you can really learn to speak, listen and think in that language. Start the new year off with a resolution you can reach today. The Moth listeners can take advantage of this Rosetta Stones lifetime membership for 50% off visit rosettastone.com moth that's 50% off. Unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your Life. Redeem your 50% off@RosettaStone.com moth today.
- [01:40]
Bakara La Genre
Welcome to the Moth Podcast. I'm Dan Kennedy. Our first story this week is from storyteller Paul Bacon and it was told live here in New York City in 2006. 7 Such a fun story. The theme of the night was the Late Late show stories of Life After Dark. Here's Paul Bacon.
- [02:08]
Paul Bacon
Okay, so I used to work as a police officer here in New York City. I was a patrolman in Harlem at the 28th Precinct and I worked the 4pm to midnight tour. And at the end of one of these tours I was told at the very last minute that I had another tour to do from midnight until 8am so it would be a double shift. This is the kind of thing that happened when you're a rookie. You always get the last minute crappy job. So I got in my patrol car and I drove down to One Police Plaza, which is the police headquarters in downtown Manhattan. It's a large campus. It has lots of different security booths around the outside and my job was to sit in one of those security booths all night, which sounds easy enough, but I was dead tired. And I also had. I had a partner that I was going to be in that booth with the whole night. And we had two different meal times. His was at 2am mine was at 3am so that there'd always be somebody at that post because, you know, we're basically guarding the police department at this point. And so there has to be somebody on there. And so. And also as to what constitutes a meal hour at 2 or 3am it's, of course, as you might expect, a sleeping hour, but that's totally prohibited. Nobody. We're not allowed to sleep, but of course everybody did. And the punishment if we were to get caught for sleeping on the job, it's a minor violation, but the job, they take away your vacation days. It's like the worst thing they could do to you when you're working as a cop, to have to work more as a cop. So if you're late one day, maybe they'll take one vacation day. If you get caught sleeping, you know, they take a few vacation days. And I imagined that getting caught sleeping when your job was to watch the fortress, I figured that would be like five, ten vacation days. So when it came my turn to sleep at 3am I got in my patrol car and I just sort of parked in a parking lot that was next to the security booth down a hill and around a corner a little bit, and I found a slot between two other police cars. And I just parked, parked in there. And I thought, you know, nobody's going to see me. This is going to be fine. I'm in the tall cotton here. Nobody's going to see me. But excuse me, I just need some water. So I'm going to try to sleep in my car, but I can't sleep in the front seat because I can't sleep sitting up. I've never been able to sleep on airplanes. So I figured, well, you know what? I can stretch out in the backseat. So I get in the back seat, close the door, lay down on my side, and I'm out like that because I've been so tired. And I set my alarm for 4am but like I do sometimes, I woke up just a little bit before my alarm, and it was like. It was a chilling revelation inside of a dream. I didn't realize until I dreamed about it what I had done is I had locked myself inside because this is the backseat of a police car. And I knew that what it's for because I Transported prisoners before in the back there. I know that we always have to let them out. And there are door handles. There are door handles on both sides, but they're purely decorative. And if my partner could see me, if I could get his attention, he could just come let me out. It's really easy. But he's close enough that I can see him and I can see what he's doing. But he's far enough away that he can't hear me screaming at him, and he can't even hear me banging on the windows. And I get my flashlight off my belt and I try to. Try to catch his attention, you know, just lighting up the side of his face. He's not seeing anything. Maybe he's sleeping, too. Basically, he's out of the picture. So I think, well, usually when I'm in trouble, I go right for my radio when I reach for my radio, but it's not on my hip. I had left the radio in the front seat when I went to the back to sleep, because I knew I was going to lay on my side. So I just took off my radio and my gun and I placed them in the passenger seat. And I can see them. I can look through the compartment. There's plexiglass. I can see my gun and my radio. The two most important things in my whole life right now. Out of reach. And about this time, a Pepsi distributor truck pulls up in front of the parking lot. And I think, oh, this is great. I'm going to be safe. So when the driver gets out of the cab, I knock really hard on the window, and I get his attention right away. And he looks in my direction. Now, remember, it's really dark where I am. It's just like a darkened parking lot. And he doesn't see me. I can tell that even though I'm making a lot of noise. So I take the flashlight again and I point it like this. This. This makes the man very scared. And there goes my only way out, because he gets in his truck and he drives away. I realize I can see, you know, now I can see. I should have shined the light on my past. Like I'm a police officer on my shield. But no, I'm the face. It must have looked like a Jack o'lantern Never saw him again. And I didn't think I was going to see anybody else, because it was like. It was like now, four in the morning, it's the financial district, so it's Sunday. There's nobody out. So I do have my cell phone on my belt. And I pick it up and I think, well, it'd be great if I had my partner's phone number up in the booth. Maybe I could wake him up with a little ringtone. But I don't even. I just met him that night for the first time. I don't have his cell phone number. I can't call him in the booth because I don't know the booth number because I don't work in this precinct. But I think maybe I could call my own precinct, okay, up in Harlem. It's about eight miles away. And I'd have to really sweet talk somebody into coming in and coming all the downtown to come. Let me out of the car. And I know that if I tell anybody what's happened to me, I'm never going to hear the end of it because I'm already a rookie. So, you know, you get a hard time just for showing up. And then I also happen to be kind of a liberal. And in the police department, you know, being a liberal, it's like it's impossible for you to do your job and be a liberal at the same time. It's like I'm a tailor with no hands. And I get a lot of flack for this, constant flack for being. But I was a closet liberal. You know, that's what they were always trying to out me as a liberal because I was always trying to hide it because I just wanted to blend in. So I know I've already got these two strikes against me. Two strikes against me. So the third strike, they're getting locked in the back of the car. It's gonna be, forget about it. I don't even want to call the precinct. I'd rather just perish in the back of this car. And there is one number that I can call. And if I call this number, you know, it's gonna be guaranteed somebody's gonna come help me. But I never really wanted to call 911 as a cop. It didn't seem very professional somehow. But I have no other choice. So I. So I called 911 and I let it ring. And I'm like almost thinking like, God, I hope they don't pick up, you know, but they do. And I say, first off, I say who I am and that I try to sound very calm. I just need a unit to come to my location. Just non emergency, just one car, please. And she says, no problem, officer, what's your location? And I realize I don't know my location. A cop that doesn't know his location it's really embarrassing. I don't know because I don't work in this precinct and I can't see any street signs, but I can see that Pace University. I can see it, I can see the logo on the wall. And I say, I'm near there. And she says, that's fine, that's fine. But one more thing, Officer, I just need this for my report. What's your situation? I say, operator, I was hoping to not have to tell you that. Do I have to tell you? She's like, yes. And she's like, oh, wait, I know. And she seems to get it. She seems like she thinks she knows. She's like, oh, did you lock yourself out of your car? I said, no, I'm locked inside. And she laughs just like that. And. But immediately she's like very, she's very genteel about it. She immediately puts me on hold so I don't have to hear her laughing at me. But the thing is, when she comes back from hold, I hear other laughing. I can hear the whole audience laughing. And she's obviously told everybody in 911, I envision this high tech room with all these operators, these little headsets, and now they're all laughing about me. So, yeah, so I tell her and she's like, don't worry about it, just relax. And I say, okay, fine. And then I hang up the phone and I go, the hard part is over. You know, that was embarrassing. I think that's the worst of it. And then about a minute later, I hear a police siren off in the distance and then another police siren. And I start to see flashing lights, you know, bouncing off of buildings and I'm. What's happened? So I called 911 again and I have to explain my whole situation. I'm that guy who's at the. And they say, please hold. When they come back from hold, they say, oh, well, Officer, your request for an additional unit was transmitted as a 1013. And at 1013 I say, that's the radio code for officer down. That's like a cop has a knife at his throat or he's laying bleeding in the street and he's bleeding into the gutter. That's a 1013, not locked in the back of my car. And not only is this embarrassing because it's blown it up way out of proportion. There's no way I'm going to get away with this now. But it's really dangerous because cops driving around, coming to each other's rescue, that's their favorite thing to Do. It's like the only thing they like about being a cop is when another cop's in trouble and they can rush to their location because there's nothing to stop them. They can just drive as fast as they want. And now this is all happening on my behalf. And I have a vision of, like, somebody getting killed or hurt. And the next day it's going to be on the COVID of the Daily News and the Post. It'll be my ID picture next to some dead person now. And I just think this is all going to be my fault. And so I beg the operator, please call off the 1013. And she says she will. And then I hang up. And I notice that my partner in the booth, he's actually. All this activity has actually gotten him up. And he's moving around now and he's coming down the hill. And I can tell he can't see which car I'm in because he never really paid attention to where I went when I left for meal. So I take the radio off, or I'm sorry, I take my flashlight off the belt and I shine it like I was doing it to before when he didn't see me. I'm, like, really trying to get his attention. And he takes his radio flashlight off and he shines it back at me and goes like this. Like I'm, like having some kind of fun flashlight time with him or something. And he just turns around and walks toward the booth. And I knock on the window. Jesus Christ, I'm still fucking locked in here. Let me out. And he gets the point. He walks down the hill and it takes him two seconds. He just reaches down, lifts up my door handle. That's all I needed, and I'm free. But I'm not exactly in the clear yet, you see, because it's not for another five hours that I learn what my partner then tells me, which is that I'm not going to get in trouble for this. Nobody's going to find out. He insists, because he says, the only person that's going to put you on report for this is your sergeant. And if you get in trouble, your sergeant gets in trouble for something called failure to supervise. Right? So he's not going to get you in trouble. And as for your homies up in the 2 8, they're not going to find out either, because these cops down in this precinct, everybody knows. Now, everybody knows in the first Precinct because it went over the radio. But he says they look out for their sergeant here. They really like this guy. So they're not going to tell him. And then. So when I'm in line to get my overtime slip signed out at the end of the night, where all the other cops are like, oh, I'm gonna make so much money off this. I have to be very contrite and very penitent when I walk up to the sergeant and I hand him my slip, and he looks at my name and he recognizes, oh, that's the kid that was locked in his car. And he signed it, and he goes, here you go, Bacon. You're a legend. That's the only ribbing I get. That's the only ribbing I get. And I know that Nobody in the 28 precincts found out, because I never heard about it, because if one person found out, they'd all find out, and then they'd all dump on me. So they never find out and they never will. Unless anybody here from the 28 from my old squad. I didn't think so. Okay, so my secret's safe, and that's my story. Thanks.
- [14:47]
Bakara La Genre
Paul Bacon is a writer and cartoonist. He's the author of Bad Cop New York's Least Likely Police Officer Tells All. Our second story this week is from Bacara La Genre, and the theme of the night was Call of the Wild. So one of the things we love to do on the podcast is just dig deep back into the archives. And part of the deal with that is sometimes the audio is a little hard to hear. This was recorded back in 2002, so bear with us on the audio. But we love this story so much. Here's Bakara.
- [15:30]
Thank you. Well, I never was much for the wild. I mean, hunting safaris really left me cold. It was my mother's thing. She was a great white hunter, and she shot animals all over the world. I grew up in a house where the walls were covered with stuffed heads of hippos, lions, and elephants. I played on rugs of bear and zebra and lion. So I hastily became a Buddhist, a vegetarian, and an animal defender. My idea of the wilds was Broadway and Bleecker. Mummy said, when are you going to to learn to shoot? Don't you think you're a scaredy cat? But I didn't want to be a hunter. I wanted to be a writer. But I was a scaredy cat because I didn't know where to begin. And I didn't think that anyone would ever buy anything that I wrote. Until one day, a very trapped friend of mummy's came for lunch. He was 6 foot 4, and he looked great in his safari jacket. With epaulettes. And after lunch, he took out his raptors. They were in a large cage the size of two television sets. And out of it he took an enormous hawk as big as a Labrador. And on his hand he put this heavy leather glove. And this hawk put its steel jaw claws around that glove. Well, I didn't want to get too near, and I saw Mummy's trigger finger quivering. But after lunch, then we went and he told me these great stories about wild animals that he saved. And then he filmed and none of his animals ever got killed. And I thought, this is fantastic. This great big attractive man loves animals. So over the next few months, we had the odd romantic evening and then he said, I'm off to Rhodesia, girl, why don't you meet the. Now, I'm sure he said that to all the girls. How many of them packed up their carpet bags and their bug spray and actually went, well, I suddenly had such an affinity for safari clothes. I rushed right out and bought these marvelous jackets and shirts with epilepsy and cotton pants and lots of pockets, and I was all set to go. Now, my real dream had always been to wear a trench coat and a slouchy hat. As a reporter, this was pretty good. Now, Mummy was quite wary, not about charging animals, but she thought that the political situation in Rhodesia was heating up. So she called her friend Lord Salisbury, for which Salisbury Rose named. And she said, I want to give my daughter a letter to the Prime Minister so that if anything happens, she'll be all right. So I put the letter in my pocket and I wired Jim. And I said, I'll be in Salisbury Airport at 3pm he was surprised, but he took it like a man. So he said, I hope you have your mother's courage in the bush looking at me car. And I said, I'm ready for anything. Putting on my topy and my goggles, I jumped into the Land Rover. Well, he said, tonight we'll spend the night by a water hole so that you can see the Gay. I said, fine. My heart's sinking. We drove across this absolutely empty vent. There wasn't a thing on it except this water hole with a few bushes on the far side. Nothing to protect us. We stretched out our sleeping bags by the embers of our little fire that we cooked dinner over. And Jim said, I'll flash my flashlight on the other side of the waterfall and see if there are any animals. And I said, don't do it, because they'll see us here. And so he did, and rely on the other side the Water hole. Now, the water hole was not that big. I mean, maybe the end of this room. We got out our binoculars to watch the lions and I said, jim, I really think we better not flash this light because the lions are sort of grunting and they see us. And he said, I thought you came to Africa to see the game. Don't you trust me? And I said, well, but I came to Africa to see you and the gang. Well, the lions ran around in circles and they nipped each other and they were flirting and they were kind of like great big puppies if they hadn't been right there. And after a while they started to make love. And we sat on our side of the water hole looking at these lions making love in the moonlight and the flashlight. And I thought, those guys know what they're doing. But no, after a while they went away. They slunk horse into the dark and we stretched out in our sleeping bags. And I thought, I'm going to do an all night vigil because they might come round the waterhole and eat the people who had the flashlight. But inevitably I fell asleep thinking I was awake, which is a very easy thing to. The next morning I woke up and all around my sleeping bag were these big round circles, big round impressions in the soft blood. And I thought, well, small crop circles. Meteors. Finally, a ufo. Jim woke up and he said, elephant? I said, elephants? He said, yes, they're very quiet. They've come and they've walked around us during the night. They never step on you? I said, wait a minute. An elephant was in within 6 inches of my head, which is where this impression was. And I didn't hear it. I don't believe it. This is dangerous. We shouldn't be doing this. I finally freaked out. He said, don't you trust me? I'm taking care of you. There's nothing to be afraid. An elephant never steps on anyone. I said, jim, these are wild animals. I think we should be careful. I think it would be a silly way to go to be stepped on by an elephant accidentally. So all day long we rushed around in the red Land Rover in the dusty world of Africa, looking at herds of game and things. And that night we stayed in a tented camp that belonged to a friend of his. And I was lying in the tent and I was just remembering. Did you see that movie, the Snows of Kilimanjaro? Well, it was this wounded man in the tent and the hyena came down and it smelled the blood and it walked round and round the tent and I kept checking to be sure that my mosquito bites weren't bleeding and would attract the hyenas. But in the middle of the night I was. So I took my flashlight and I crept out of the tent and it was a very bright moon and I thought, well, I don't want to turn on my flashlight because that will actually attract animals to me and I don't want to wake anyone up. So I started walking very carefully, looking at the ground to be sure there weren't any snakes and things towards this little bathroom tent that was just the other side of a little track. It was very close, I knew exactly where it was. But all of a sudden there was a wall. Now, there had been no wall between the tent and the bathroom tent. And I stood there looking all this absolutely enormous and pitch dark. So I finally turned on my flashlight and it had a tail. Had a tail. And it's tummy grumbled and I stepped backwards very slowly and saw that it was an elephant. And as I walked backwards into the tent and all the way I saw this elephant silhouetted against the star line. I got back into the tent. Jim said, are you all right? Is everything fine? I said, oh yes, I just dead an elephant. And he said, well honey, and put his arm around me. It's Africa for you. Well, the next day he was going to film a lion eating a goat. Now, in a little circular clearing they had tethered a goat and next to it was something called a boma, a little hut made of yellowing dried up bamboo leaves. And inside that boma there was a little stool. And Jim said, you sit on the stool and when the lion comes, you will have a really good view of the lion. I said, do I want a really good view of the lion? And he said, that's why people come to Africa. He and the film crew were going to be up in a tree and he assured me that if anything should happen, they would take care of me. And he said, it may be a long wait. The main thing to remember is you mustn't move once the lion has come. You must not move, no matter what. So I took a book to sit and read. While I was waiting for the lion, I took Proust's the Budding Grove because I knew it would be a long afternoon. So I've been sitting there for about an hour and 15 minutes when the lion appeared. It just came out of the edge of the jungle and it crouched and looked at the goat which was bleeding madly, pulling at its tether, absolutely desperate. And I sat there Absolutely desperate myself. And I could feel the budding groan was slipping off my knee. And it's a very heavy book. And I tried to hold it on with one finger because I didn't want to move. And the lion crouched and I thought, now he's going to jump on the goat. So I shut my eyes because I didn't want to see. But then I opened my eyes because what if he jumped on me? And then he sat down and thought about it and I thought, that's not how lions behave. So this lion knows there's something screwy. And then it got up and it walked very slowly around the clearing, which means it went behind me. And I thought, I'm shop member. But the film crew was supposed to protect me in a tree. But what if they don't have a gun? And I suddenly thought, I haven't seen any guns. I wonder if there are any guns. Guns had become terribly attractive. But I couldn't remember whether I'd asked if there was a gun. And the lion came back until he was in front of me again. And then he crouched down and I shut my eyes and I heard this crash and this crunch and he jumped on this bleeding, screaming goat. And I opened my eyes and the lion's behind was towards me, luckily, so I couldn't see it actually eating the goat. But at that moment I could feel my glasses slipping down my nose because I'd been sweating so much and my heart had been beating so hard that they were going, going, going. And I thought, is it worse to move, pushing them back up, or is it worse if they fall off and make a noise? And I decided it was less bad to push them up. So very carefully I did, and my elbow brushed the dry bamboo leaves and the lion stopped eating. And I thought, that's it, now I'm dead. I'm dead. What I must do is pray. I must pray. Now. I couldn't think of any prayers. Hindu prayers, Buddhist prayers, Christian prayers. O O O my Sid Sabo. And then the lion started to eat again. And after a bit it rolled over with its feet in the air. And I could see it was huge, big and huge pores with these long, sharp claws and its big tummy, which wasn't quite as white as the National Geographic tummies. And then it rolled back over and it started to walk back out of the terry. I was just wondering when it turned around and looked at Lake. And in that moment our eyes met, or at least they did for me. I was looking into the eyes of a lion And I thought something was exchanged. There was some moment of recognition. I thought of those African boys who have to go out and kill a lion before they can claim their manhood. The lion turned and it just vanished quietly into the jungle. But I knew that something had happened to me, that I was brave to be sitting there, that I was different. And then I started to shake and my book fell off and my glasses fell off. And the cameraman came and he opened the boma door and he said you could come out. And Jim came up and he said, good girl and put his arm around me. And I knew I was a good girl and I knew I was brave. And so he said, do you want to go to the Congo with me? And I said, no, I've got something else to do. I'm taking my letter to Prime Minister Ian, said if I'm going to get an interview with him and get it published in the newspaper. And I did. And I did an interview then with the opposition leader and they got published in my local paper in South Carolina. And it started a whole life where I did wear trench coats and slouchy hats and interview revolutionaries. You know, facing the lines is an old cliche, but for me that call of the wild was the perfect thing because it was the beginning of my new life.
- [31:41]
Bakara Lazranra is an artist, writer and stage performer. She was also the host of KQED's Lunch with Bakara. That's it for this week. Thanks to all of you for listening. We hope you have a story worthy week.
- [31:55]
Paul Bacon
Dan Kennedy is the author of the.
- [31:57]
Dan Kennedy
Books Loser Goes First, Rock on An American Spirit. He's also a regular host and performer.
- [32:03]
Bakara La Genre
With the Moth Podcast production by Mooj Zaidy. Moth events are recorded by Argo Studios in New York City supervised by Paul Rueest. The Moth podcast is presented by prx, the Public Radio Exchange, helping make public radio more public@prx.org.