Richard Kind: I Don’t - The Moth | Wave AI Podcast Notes

Summary

Podcast Title: The Moth

Episode: Richard Kind: I Don’t

Release Date: March 18, 2013

Host: The Moth

Introduction

In this episode of The Moth, actor Richard Kind shares a heartfelt and humorous personal story about his journey to proposing to his wife, Dana Stanley. Through a blend of vulnerability and comedic mishaps, Kind recounts how an ambitious proposal plan, compounded by unexpected challenges, ultimately led to a deeper understanding and lasting relationship.

Setting the Scene (02:29)

Richard Kind begins by setting the stage in his life during his time on the beloved television series Spin City. He introduces his girlfriend, Dana Stanley, highlighting their contrasting personalities—he's gregarious and enjoys social gatherings, while Dana prefers quieter, more intimate settings.

“I close them up. She does not. And she was a little upset. What do we have to go out for?”
— Richard Kind (03:10)

The Proposal Plan (04:15)

Driven by his fondness for the number eight—declaring it his favorite on August 8, 1988—Kind meticulously plans a proposal. He invests in a beautiful sapphire and diamond engagement ring, symbolizing his commitment and love.

“I declared that eight was my favorite number.”
— Richard Kind (02:29)

Kind arranges a romantic evening at 18 West 88th Street, believing the numerical significance will add a special touch to his proposal. However, as the evening unfolds, Dana's reluctance toward the social event causes tension.

The Cat Incident (06:45)

Amidst preparations for the proposal, Kind faces an unexpected hurdle involving his cat, Vladimir ("Vladdy"). Dana's deep love for animals leads them to involve Vladdy in the proposal plans, hoping to feature him on television.

“My cat is the perfect cat. Are you interested? And they go, sure.”
— Richard Kind (05:30)

However, Vladdy’s unpredictable behavior on set results in chaos. When the day of the proposal arrives, Vladdy escapes during the live broadcast, causing Kind to scramble on national television while he gets scratched, leading to an embarrassing situation.

“I pull out the box. I show her the ring. Will you be my wife? She doesn't say yes. She doesn't say no.”
— Richard Kind (03:50)

Dana’s Reaction (09:20)

Dana, known for disliking the spotlight and confrontations, becomes upset by the public display of their private moment. Her frustrations culminate in a heated exchange where she physically expresses her anger by kicking Kind as he stands compromised on set.

“She's furious. Way to go, girl. Thank you.”
— Richard Kind (10:05)

Despite the public embarrassment and physical altercation, the underlying affection between them remains intact, setting the stage for reconciliation.

Resolution and Marriage (12:40)

In the aftermath of the chaotic proposal, Kind and Dana navigate the emotional fallout. Dana had planned to accept the proposal publicly but instead chose to leave, leading Kind to reflect on their relationship dynamics.

Eventually, during a wrap party for Spin City, Kind reaffirms his commitment. The two reconcile, leading to their marriage and the growth of their family over the years.

“We invited the whole cast over to our house. Before the party, we announced that we were indeed going to get married.”
— Richard Kind (13:30)

Kind concludes by sharing the joy of their life together, emphasizing the importance of perseverance and understanding in relationships.

Conclusion

Richard Kind’s story is a testament to the unpredictable nature of love and the resilience required to overcome obstacles. Through laughter and tears, he conveys the message that even imperfect moments can lead to beautiful outcomes when approached with honesty and dedication.

“Thank you very much.”
— Richard Kind (13:57)

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

Richard Kind (02:29):
"The only thing you have to know about me before I start my story is that on August 8, 1988, I declared that eight was my favorite number."
Richard Kind (03:10):
"I close them up. She does not. And she was a little upset. What do we have to go out for?"
Richard Kind (05:30):
"My cat is the perfect cat. Are you interested? And they go, sure."
Richard Kind (03:50):
"I pull out the box. I show her the ring. Will you be my wife? She doesn't say yes. She doesn't say no."
Richard Kind (10:05):
"She's furious. Way to go, girl. Thank you."
Richard Kind (13:30):
"We invited the whole cast over to our house. Before the party, we announced that we were indeed going to get married."
Richard Kind (13:57):
"Thank you very much."

Richard Kind's engaging narrative on The Moth offers listeners a glimpse into the complexities of love, commitment, and the humorous unpredictabilities that life often presents. His story resonates with anyone who has navigated the challenges of making a heartfelt gesture and the importance of persistence in building meaningful relationships.

Transcript

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Dan Kennedy (1:09)

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Richard Kind (2:29)

The only thing you have to know about me before I start my story is that on August 8, 1988, I declared that eight was my favorite number. All right? About 14 or 15 years ago, I'm in New York. I'm doing Spin City, okay? Now, I'm going out with this lovely woman named Dana Stanley. And about a month and a half before the date that I'm going to be talking about, I had. My dad was a jeweler in Princeton, New Jersey. Okay? And he had passed away, but he, you know, everybody in New York knew him. There was a supplier. So I go to one of the gemologists and I get two sapphire stones. And then I go to another gemologist for the diamond. We put it together in platinum, and we make a beautiful engagement ring. Okay? I'm doing Spin City. It's August. I say to my girlfriend, Dana, I say, we. We're going to a party tonight. A cocktail party with old friends of mine, okay? So we're going. We have to get ready. Now. My girlfriend does not like social things. She doesn't like to go out a lot. I'm gregarious. I'll go to a party. I close them up. She does not. And she was a little upset. What do we have to go out for? So comes the time we go out, she takes forever. She's running late. She's primping. Nothing will ever be right. She won't be perfect. But she comes downstairs, we go out to hail a cab on the streets of New York. Sure enough, as we're hailing it, sure enough, half a block south of us, there's some guy who hails the cab before us. And he gets in and Dana is. What is he doing? And I'm just going nuts. I'm going crazy. I don't know what I'm talking about. And, you know, I'm sweating and everything like that. And she. We get in the cab. Why do we have to. Whose party are we going to? Who we meet? I don't want. Why do we have to do this? The guy with the cab like that. We get up to West 88th Street, 18 West 88th Street. The date is August 8th. Okay? I'm biding my time, waiting. And finally, because There is no 8 West 88th street in front of 18 West 88th Street. I look at my watch, and at 8 minutes after 8 on August 8th, in front of 18 West 88th, I get down on my knees and I say, Dana, eight is my lucky number. It's 808 on August 18th. We're in front of 18 West 88th. Will you make me the luckiest man in the world? I pull out the box. I show her the ring. Will you be my wife? She doesn't say yes. She doesn't say no. Very thoughtful woman. She loves me. I know she loves me, but am I the guy? Am I the guy that she wants to spend around? I wouldn't do it. But nevertheless, we go to Cafe des Artistes for dinner, which, for those of you who are fond of New York, it no longer exists. But there are other places to overpay. Anyway, cut to many months later, it's March. It's the last episode of Spin City. The story on the show that week involves a mouse in city hall, and we have to get a cat to chase it out. Very funny. Ha ha ha. Sitcom. But I happen, Dana and I happen to have a cat named Vladimir that's about 17 pounds, maybe 18, 19. Huge, adorable. And when you lift it underneath the shoulders, it becomes. I'm not kidding, it's this. It looks like Superman flying. And it just stands there like this. And I said, my cat is the perfect cat. Are you interested? And they go, sure. So I go home, I tell Dana, what do you say? You want to put Vladdy on tv? And she's thrilled because she loves her cat. She got it from the pound and they were going to kill it, so she loves Vladimir. And now Vladdy's going to be on tv. So I bring the cat in on Wednesday to show them. They say he's perfect. We're going to use them, okay? The next day, the animal wrangler, who has lost a job, a gig, because his cat is now not being paid. Mine is going to be used. His cat is out of a job, says to me, why don't you let the cat get acclimated to the place? Jesus is right. My cat goes crazy. It's a house cat. She's been seeing lighting men and actors. Oh, my God. And, you know, activity going on. My cat hates it. Goes nuts. What we were gonna do, all they were gonna do was bring him out of the case, do the thing. Yeah, that's the cat. And then put him back in the case and it's done for. All right, Friday comes, it's time for the show. I bring Vladdy out, and Vladdy immediately goes crazy, goes underneath the bleachers. I go and I chase. I chase him. He scratches my arm and it's bleeding. It's bleeding. I'm gonna go on national television now. I'm wearing a long sleeve shirt and a coat so nobody on TV will notice. Nobody can see it, but I know. I feel the blood is dripping down. And I finally get Vladdy. It's horrible. I go, I do the scene, everything's fine. Put him back in the case. It's wonderful scene ends. Dana comes backstage to see Vladdy, because this is her. Vladdy, who's just been on tv. Now, when I get excited and I know there is danger, I would like to say, no, Dana, don't go into the case. Vladi's feeling a little perturbed, and there's danger, and she might scratch you. What came out was, no, no, Dana, no. Just don't. Stop. Stop in front of everybody. The audience, the camera people, the actors, everybody. I'm drawing attention now. Dana hates to be the center of attention. She hates it. I'm the actor. She is not. She works for a nonprofit. She's an animal lover. This is what she does. Not only does she not like to be the center of attention, she does not like to be yelled at at all. And here in front of everybody, I have just done two things that she despises. Despises. She goes upstairs. I got a show to do. I'm going on national tv. Come on, come on, let's go. I go upstairs. She's up there by my dressing room, and she wails into me. She had not seen me bleeding. So, you know, she doesn't know that I'm hurt or anything like that. All she knows is that she's been embarrassed. And she goes, how dare you? Now, she's also a horsewoman, and she was wearing boots, and she kicked me right here. Furious. I'm telling you, she's furious. Way to go, girl. Thank you. I'm the sympathetic character in this story. So she leaves. Michael Boatman, who plays the black fella on Spin City, great actor. His wife Myrna comes up to me and says, where's Dana? I said, she left. She goes, no, no, no, no, no. Where's Dana? I said, she left. She goes, where is Dana? I said on and on. She just said, no, seriously, Richard. She just went on, where is Dana? I said, myrna, she's left. She went home. I'm not in the best mood in the world. My leg is killing me. I go home, I'm not so happy because it's, you know, it's the last episode. I. You know, I go to sleep. She's sleeping out on the couch. The next morning, she comes in. I say, dana, I have not the words to tell you. I said, when I am working, I am so concentrated. I said, that is opening and closing night for me. You've got to respect that. How dare you come in? I was hurt. You kicked me. Nobody kicks me. Nobody hits me. Nobody that I love. I don't care how much I love them. How could you do that to me? I said, I we got to rethink everything. And Dana said, don't you know what I was going to do? I said, dana, I haven't the foggiest notion. Well, in sitcoms there is a, what's called the, there's a stand up who stands up and it keeps the, the, the attention of the audience up and, and their, their humor up in between scenes. And you have to reblock and you have to move cameras and everything. He's a warm up guy and he's there standing there. He's got the hardest job of the night. He's got to keep everybody up for, you know, from 7 to 11 with a microphone. And she said that she was going to get up a woman who does not like to get up in front of people. She was going to grab the microphone and say, ladies and gentlemen, last August 8th, Richard Kind asked me to marry him. And today I want to tell you all, I accept his proposal. But she didn't do that. She kicked me and left. Dana kicked me and left. And while she was giving that little speech, Myrna was going to come up with the ring that she had in her pocket and open it there so that she could give it to Dana. And Dana would put it on her ring finger. But Dana left and Myrna had a diamond and sapphire ring in her pocket and went home to Westchester. The wrap party was that night. That was Saturday morning. Wrap party was that night. We invited the whole cast over to our house. Before the party, we announced that we were indeed going to get married. And that was 14 years ago. And now we have eight children. No, we don't. We have three, Max, Samantha and Skylar. Thank you very much.