Sandy Carroll (7:41)
And I happen to notice that magically, there's a park bench located right across the street, perfectly situated for surveillance. So I dress up in, like, five layers of clothing, and I pull a shabby wool hat down over my head, and I park myself on the bench as this like crazy homeless type person. And I mean, homeless disguises are like a cloak of invisibility because all you have to do is make yourself as unattractive as possible. You know, crazy homeless. And people will choose not to see you. You can do anything and no one will bat an eye. So I'm sitting on my bench and I'm sort of rocking and muttering to myself for several hours. And finally orange heel shows up and he goes down to his storage location. He unlocks the door, he goes in, he comes back out with his little black plastic bag. And I decide I have to get a closer look. So I cross the street, I'm kind of walking towards him, weaving back and forth across the sidewalk. And just as he passes me, I slam into him and he drops his bag and a little Rolex slides out. And it's a high end counterfeit Rolex. I mean, this thing, he was selling it for at least a couple hundred, if not passing it off as real. And he's like, what the, you know? And I'm just like so terrified of my own audacity that I lack of anything better to say. I'm like, the coming of the Lord is near. And it seemed like a good time. To save time, he says something in Vietnamese probably. And he picks up his plastic bag. And just as he starts off, I look up and we're looking right at each other. And I expect him to look like a criminal or something. I don't know what they look like, but mean or cold or something. But he's just a kid. I mean, he doesn't have a single smile wrinkle on his face. And he looks as scared as I am. So the next day is a raid day. I should explain. There's us, the spies, and then there's the raid team. So we go out, we find out who's got what where, and then the raid team, they go in and they take it. So morning of the raid, I have to confirm that the merchandise is still in the location. So I sit in my park bench and wait for orange heels to show up. He does. He goes into the storage location, comes out with his usual black plastic bag. And then he goes off to the store for his day's sales. And I call it in. Merchandise location confirmed. And then I go off to a coffee shop to wait for my next assignment for the day. And the Ray team goes in and they hit it, you know, they break down the door, whatever, and they find 10,000 high end counterfeit Rolex watches. I mean, this is huge. It's like over a million dollars worth of merchandise potentially. And right next to the watches, they find bags of drugs and guns. So I'm kicking back in my coffee shop when I get a call to say I have to meet up with the cops immediately to do a drive by ID of orange shields at his store because they want to arrest him for possession of drugs and illegal weapons. And I'm like, okay, this is not what I signed up for. This is like I'm in way over my head here. I mean, okay, this is like people are going to jail here. I'm going to have to testify against this guy in court or something. Not to mention that I've been spying all week on a guy who might potentially kill me if he knew. I mean, we stood less than a foot away and he looked right at my face. So I have specific instructions to go down to the corner of Howard and Crosby and wait for a cop car to drive by. And when it does, I'm to wave it down and say exactly this. Oh, my God, a guy just stole my wallet. That was the secret code phrase. So I'm standing on the corner of Howard and Crosby. Cop car approaches, I wave it down, I run up and I don't know, because I'm an actress, I say, almost, my God, a guy just stole my wallet. And the cop says, oh yeah, what do you look like? And I'm like, I don't know, I was just told to tell you that. And he's like, oh, yeah, the lady was supposed to pick up. And I'm like, yeah, me. And he's like, oh, get in. So get in. And I'm sliding down in the back seat of the car as much as possible as we drive down Canal street because I'm terrified that this murderous drug dealer is going to see me and recognize me in the cop car, not the other way around. And I think the cops must have sensed my nervousness, probably because I had a scarf draped over my head with only my eyes showing, because he offered to loan me his sunglasses. And they were Oakley's and they were real, too. So we're driving along, you know, and we drive past his door and he's not there. I mean, of course he's not there. His storage location is crawling with cops. I'm sure he was well hidden in the maze that is Chinatown. But I'm relieved because, one, I'm scared of this guy, but two, I kind of actually don't really know what he looks like. I mean, okay, I looked at him for all of two seconds, but he just looked young. And the only way I really knew this guy was by his orange heel tennis shoes. It's like, what if I send the wrong guy to prison based on a pair of Nikes? So I go back with the cops to the police station to fill out a report, and I'm sitting in the back room when the bags of drugs and guns arrive. And they are two Ziploc baggies filled with ecstasy and a handgun. Okay, this was not the, you know, garbage bags filled with cocaine and semi automatic rifles that I had been imagining. I mean, a handgun is a dangerous weapon, but ecstasy is. It's just ecstasy. So. So the cop, he hands me his number and he says, you know, if you see him while you're out there, you give me a call. So about a month goes by and I don't see orange heels anywhere. He's probably laying low, but I kind of make a little game with myself Every time I walk by his store. I kind of scan the shoes. And one day I'm walking along, I'm not really paying attention. I just kind of walk past the store, I look over and I see the orange heels. And I'm terrified because I'm still convinced that this guy knows who I am. And he is very pissed off. So I look up and he's looking right at me. So I kind of smile. And then I realize he's looking right through me. I mean, he doesn't even see me. So I'm walking along. I still have the cops number. I mean, I could call him, but I don't because I kind of like orange heels. I mean, I kind of feel like. I mean, I feel like he and I are the same. We're both just struggling to get by. We happen to be playing on opposite teams. And so I'm walking along and I'm kind of feeling good about myself, you know, I'm like, you know what? I'm a good person. I'm not going to turn you in, buddy. I got your back. And then I realized that's ridiculous because I'm the one who turned him in in the first place. It's like, I mean, this job, you know, it's like, oh, I'm a sexy, mysterious spy person. But really, it's just. It's a power trip. Essentially, I'm on a power trip because I have the power to change people's lives. I get to choose who I turn in and who I don't. If some guy is a total asshole to me, I'm probably going to report him. But if it means some 20 year old kid's going to go to prison for the next two years because of a couple bags of ecstasy, I mean I'm not going to tell him report him. It's Then again, like I said, the authorities obviously don't really care that there are counterfeits being sold in Chinatown. I mean, everybody knows you can go down a canal street and get a fake Louis Vuitton bag. So it's like even my power trip is a facade. It's like the facades in Chinatown are unreal. But that is different than being fake because I think the best parts of Chinatown and probably life are unreal. It's just the watches that are fake. But actually that's not true. They finally got the test back from the lab on the two bags of ecstasy. It turns out even the ecstasy was fake. Thank you.