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- [00:00]
Chloe Salmon
Hey, it's Chloe Salmon from the Moth. As a story director, I talk to a lot of people who say they want to tell a story but don't know where to start. A tip I give them get specific what's a moment that meant something to you? Your first home run? That road trip with your dad? The time you bombed at the talent show? Start there, then build on that foundation. You can find tips to help you identify those moments, along with prompts to inspire them in the Moth's new guided journal, My Life and Stories. Whether you want to find your own story, reflect on your life, or even give it as a gift, you can order your copy@themost.org my life and stories that's themoth.org my life and stories Spring
- [00:43]
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- [01:45]
Chloe Salmon
checkout Support for today's episode comes from Square, the business platform that helps sellers become neighborhood favorites. Whether you're gearing for a busy season or just trying to keep up with everyday demand, Square keeps your business running smoothly, from payments and POS to online orders, inventory, staff, and more all in one place so you can focus on your customers, not your to do list. Whether you're just starting out or growing into multiple locations, Square gives you the flexibility to sell online, in store, or both and adapt as your needs evolve. With smart tools and real time insights built in, Square helps you stay organized, make informed decisions, and keep everything moving forward. Square helps you run your business more smoothly, bringing payments, operations and insights together in one place so you're ready for whatever's next. Right now, listeners can get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up@square.com Go Moth. That's S Q U A R E dot com Go Moth. Get started with Square and build a setup that works the way you do.
- [02:48]
Kate Tellers
Welcome to the Moth podcast. I'm your host for this week, Kate Tellers. This week's episode is about parenting, a word that according to Merriam Webster, is a noun, but I would certainly argue is a verb. During the summer that I was 14, my parents were getting divorced. My aunt Mary, who sensed that we could use a getaway, invited my dad, my sister and I to stay with her in her timeshare in Vermont. It was at the top of a mountain in the Trapp family lodge. Yes, of the Sound of Music. We drove for a half day from Pittsburgh, and when we finally got to the base of the mountain, my father pulled the car over, locked eyes with me and then my sister and said, roll down your windows. Then he shoved the tape he had cued up into the deck and sang along with the voice of Julie Andrews. Dialed up to 11. The hills are alive as we made our upward climb. For years this was our go to dad is such a dad story. But now that story reminds me of how hard my father was trying to keep his two girls happy during a really tough summer. To the exuberant dads everywhere, I see you and thank you. On that note, our first story this week is from Caroline Connolly. Caroline told this story at a story slam in Boston where the theme of the night was roads. Here's Caroline Connolly live at the Moth.
- [04:20]
Caroline Connolly
So the distance between my hometown of Newburyport, Massachusetts and New York city is about 250 miles. When you're 11 years old and strapped in the way backseat of a Volvo station wagon with your sisters, that is enough time to be assaulted by a sibling and to declare to your conservative Catholic parents that you no longer believe in God. And I honestly feel like that might be why Volvo made a way backseat because it is in the literal trunk of a car and faces away from everybody else inside the car. It's like where a kidnapper might put a victim, except suburban moms were like, jump in. It's gonna be so fun. And honestly, my parents had kind of earned this right to do that to us. On this particular occasion, my mom had sacrificed her birthday to take us all to see Lucy Lawless debut in Grease on Broadway. She was the actress who played Xena the Warrior princess. And my sisters and I were huge Xena fans and Grease fans. So this was like the greatest gift she could ever give us. And the first part of the ride was relatively unremarkable. My mom would give us little fistfuls of Dramamine that to this day she swears were non drowsy. And I'm not going to call my mother a liar or a drug dealer on this stage, but we had some very foggy car rides as kids. But this one was pretty because about two hours into it, my dad is driving down the highway and he's looking for a McDonald's so that he can get a large vanilla milkshake as he always liked to do. And my mom says to him, hey, where are the tickets? And he responds with this benign what tickets? As if he has like no idea why. We're all in the Volvo heading to New York City. And she's like, the tickets? Well, no one had the tickets because this was like 1997. Inexplicably, the only solution to this problem was to turn around and drive all the way back to Newburyport to get the tickets for the show that night. So by the time we start our second trip to New York City, the Dramamine has started to wear off. And it was as if like three feral cats had come alive in the backseat of my parents Volvo. So my little sister suddenly bursts into tears because she's starving. And my older sister suddenly remembers that I exist. And apparently my leg had shifted to her side of the way back seat, which was a crime punishable by a swift punch to the side of my head. And because I was smaller but no less insane, my only recourse was to take her Nintendo Game Boy and hold it up and threaten to lick all of the buttons on the surface. Which is gross, but super effective because she let out this blood curdling scream, which prompted my mother to whip around and issue a threat that she loved to give us at this time in our lives, which was, girls, God is watching you. And because I was in the way back seat and separated from my mom by like an entire row, I turned around and I was like, well, good thing I don't believe in God. Well, we pulled over really quickly after that at a McDonald's and my dad jumps out of the car because he had no interest in this portion of parenting. And so my mom comes around to the backseat where I was and it gets really close to my face and she says, you better apologize for that or I am telling someone, Sister Ruth, what you said. And if you have ever been A kid sent to Catholic school. You know, the threat of a sister is way worse than, like, whatever your mother or God could ever do to you. So I was like, I am so sorry. I love God and Jesus and, like, everybody up there with them. And once that was settled, we went inside the McDonald's and we found my dad finally ordering his large vanilla milkshake. And he gets us some Happy Meals. And we all go out to the car and get back in. And he places his shake down in the driver's seat and comes around to back very calmly, as he always is, says to us, look, could you guys please just get along for the remainder of this ride? It's your mother's birthday after all. And he gets back in the front, and he sits down right on top of that large vanilla milkshake, which causes this, like, explosion of dairy on the steering wheel and the windshield. And my mom and I was at an age where, like, I knew what swear words were, but I had never heard one delivered super well just yet. And so he dropped with force a slew of expletives. And I remember my sisters and I looked at each other like, did we just break dad? And so we drove the rest of the way in silence because nobody wanted to cross him. And we get to New York City and we check into this fancy hotel my mom had booked, and we go see Lucy Lawless, and she's amazing. And we go back to the fancy hotel, and it's actually a pretty fabulous night in New York City for our family. The next morning, we all pile into the Volvo again, and everybody is on their best behavior today. The only thing my sisters and I were complaining about was that we thought the beds at the fancy hotel were kind of itchy. And we're, like, scratching ourselves all morning. It would be a few hours and a couple hundred miles later before my mother realized we had all contracted lice at the hotel. And you would think that after, like, several freezing cold lice shampoo baths, we with a mom and dad and these three girls, no one would want to take a road trip ever again. But we've actually got on dozens more, and we still go on them today. And my dad is in his 70s now, and he still demands a vanilla milkshake on the way there and on the way back. And for whatever reason, we are all still in a Volvo station wagon. But truthfully, we would have it no other way. Thanks.
- [09:54]
Kate Tellers
That was Caroline Connelly. Caroline Connolly is a reporter who lives and works in Boston. She enjoys horror films as well as a good romantic comedy montage. When she's not telling stories, she loves to run and likes the idea of cooking. When we followed up with Caroline, she said our last family trip was a visit to the Berkshires a few years ago. Even though my sisters and I are now adults living in different states cities, our mom insisted we all drive together. I spent four hours in the backseat listening to my father snore, and my mother asked if any of us thought we would be married soon. We were, of course, in a Volvo station wagon.
- [10:33]
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- [11:43]
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- [12:16]
Kate Tellers
Okay, the jig is up. I said this was a podcast themed on parenting, and it's really a very niche podcast about my family obsession with Broadway as nurtured by my dad. Our next storyteller also made it to Broadway. Christopher Moncaio Torres told this at a moth Story slam in New York City, where the theme of the night was home. Here's Christopher Live at the Moth.
- [12:43]
Christopher Moncaio Torres
August 2004. I'm 19. I'm at the doorway of what's gonna be my new bedroom, which I'm sharing with my dad, who I haven't seen since I was 2. And left side of the bedroom is super clean. It's got a mattress that he stole from me. On the right side is his side. That's mostly Western Union receipts ripped up scratch off lottery cards. Lots of movies all over the ground. But every night, he always watched the same movie. Not Terminator, not Die Hard, but Filler on the Roof. I can't tell you why this Ecuadorian man loved Filler on the Roof, but he watched it every night. And he would ask me, his estranged son, come watch Fiddler on the Roof with me. And I was like, no. Besides the fact that it's like a three and a half hour or however many hours like Saga, I, at that time, just didn't feel comfortable being in this very small room. When I say small, you know, like the back of a U Haul, like the tiny truck that you could probably afford, like, small than that. So I would usually be in the living room, and I would actually sleep in the living room of this apartment. So he was renting a room from this lady friend that he knew. It's actually not too far from here, like 39th place in Queens Boulevard. So a couple blocks away. And I kind of felt bad after just always saying no, that serendipitously, in October, same year, Phil on the Roof was on Broadway, Alfred Molina was playing the lead. And I was like, I'll surprise him. I'll get tickets. Now, here's the thing. I have kind of a language barrier. Like, yes, father, son, language barrier. But, like, my espanol is, like, very muy malo, if you catch my drift. So I told dad, hey, vamosa salir outside, let's go. And I have, like, a little, like, translation book that's, like, not working for me. And he's just like. And whatever Spanish you're about to hear right now is, like, very rehearsed. No, mijo, que namo se la casa. Just stay home, you know, let's watch Fiddler on the Roof. Fiddler on the Roof. And I'm like, no, let's go. I'll pay for everything. He's like, great, let's go. The trip there, super anxious. My father likes to smoke in between the train carts of the 7 train. And he also likes to, like, stop, not like, walk and talk. He likes to stop and tell you a Story. Imagine doing that in Times Square. So we finally get there, but we're, like, super late. But, like, just enough to hear the opening song. Tradition, for those who know, that's, like, the big number. And it gives the whole story of the town and this Jewish family. And I look and I'm like, oh, man, he's probably going to be super excited. He's going to be moved. He's going to be amazing. He hasn't been saying anything since we got in. I don't really think he understood where we are.
- [15:25]
Christopher Moncaio Torres (Follow-up)
Dead.
- [15:25]
Christopher Moncaio Torres
He's asleep. I, My little, like, abandoned child, heartbroken. I nudge him, and he's just like, Rest of the show sleeping. He really woke up for, like, if I were a rich man. He loved that song. And there is this one song, I think maybe if anybody knows it, but if you love me. Husband's asking the wife, if you love me? And she's just like, you're an idiot. More or less. Because, like, I've been with you for, like, 20 some odd years. Why are you gonna ask me that question? But he keeps asking. So Molina, Alfred Molina, when he was doing this, he just kind of took these really long beats in asking this question. And in one of those really long beats, mind you, we're like, in the balcony, because that's all I could afford, like, on a CUNY tuition. And it's super quiet. And suddenly I hear, but do you love me? And my dad says the line. And I was like, oh, that's cool. And people around us started laughing. But, like, in a really quiet theater, like, how everyone's quiet right now, like,
- [16:23]
Christopher Moncaio Torres (Follow-up)
it's really loud and you laugh.
- [16:25]
Christopher Moncaio Torres
And so Aphro Molina, like, looked in our direction. And, like, my father, who, like, for me was like the Latin Paul Bunyan of my life, like, shrunk and Melina just, like, continues with the song. The show's over. I will say this much. We did cry both at that Far from the home I love, I think is one of those songs. So we're outside. He's taking a photo with a big poster. You know, Tevye's arms are big up in the air. And then I hear from the backstage at his door, like, some ruckus. I turn around and, like, I'm new to Broadway. I didn't grow up with theater. But I'm like, oh, I think people get signatures from these people. I was like, dad, let's go do this. And, you know, my dad's just like,
- [17:03]
Christopher Moncaio Torres (Follow-up)
no, mijo, masala casa.
- [17:05]
Christopher Moncaio Torres
I'm like, let's go home. I was like, why? And I figured, oh, maybe he's scared. Maybe he's embarrassed. So I grab him by his sleeve like he's my kid. And I'm like, hey, Mr. Molina, you know we love your show. And my dad, I'm like, right, dad? Like, my dad loves the movies. The first time he's seeing this live, and my dad's, like, shaking his head, and Melina is like, oh, that's beautiful. And then I recount what happened in the balcony, and he didn't laugh, but then he, like, he's got big, thick eyebrows. So I feel like he just moved me with them. And he just looks at my father. He's like, is that true? Did you say my line? And my dad's like. Shakes his head, yes. And he takes his huge arm and he puts on his shoulder and, like, he grabs my dad. And Melina's a tall dude. He's like, good job. You made your Broadway debut. Congratulations. Way to go. And my dad's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Grabs him. He's like, don't take a photo. And I'm like, okay, cool, take the photo. We're on our way home, and my dad's just enamored with this photo. And he just keeps just looking at it. And I kind of figure it out in my own interpretation, like, oh, you're this dude in this story. This is the first time I had ever seen it. This immigrant man far away from his family, and he's trying to hold it together. At this point, me and my dad are trying to, like, figure out who we are to each other. And I tell him all this. He doesn't understand a word of it, but he just says, mijo, good night. This was a good night. He goes in between the train carts. He's smoking another cigarette. He looks like the Fiddler on the roof, because it's like in the Shadows is returning to Queensborough Plaza. And then when we get home, like, I actually, that night was the first time I slept in the room with him together. Thank you.
- [18:48]
Kate Tellers
That was Christopher Moncaio Torres. Christopher is an Ecuadorian American playwright, teaching artist, and live storyteller. Born and bred in Queens, New York, he first practiced creative writing while pretending to study for his forensic psychology degree. He's since founded Fail Better nyc, a bipoc centered artist community where he produces and hosts a monthly storytelling workshop show, Fail Better Story Time. We followed up with Christopher about his relationship with his father. Now here's Christopher.
- [19:20]
Christopher Moncaio Torres
I wish I could tell you the
- [19:22]
Christopher Moncaio Torres (Follow-up)
follow up is that we had more nights like that, that we remain connected. And I really wish we did, but it feels insincere and not what storytelling is for me. If I gave some sweet button at the end, you see him and I haven't spoken in a year. The most I can say that feels like a realistic follow up is that my relationship with my father is in itself like a fiddle on the roof. At least to how Tibby explains it. Fathers are hard, I figure sons are just as difficult. Relationships between estranged fathers and sons has felt like a pretty high roof to me. I'm not sure even until now if him and I know how to keep our balance. But we tried. And now we've fallen off that roof. So hearing from the Moth about my gesture of love from that night, especially when I've been thinking a lot about him these days, feels like a sign. And I am very big on signs. I haven't been sure how to start the conversation with him after not talking with him for this long, but maybe I can present this gesture to him repackaged that our first story together is going to be shared with the world, and maybe that can help us try again to keep that balance.
- [20:48]
Kate Tellers
That was Christopher Moncaio Torres There is no one Way to parent There is no one way to show love to a parent. There is no one way to love parents. Anyone in my family. Though it often includes a sing along. Okay, all right kiddos, we're going to say it. 1, 2, 3. Can we say it together? Have a story worthy week. Let's try again. Ready? Have a story worthy week. That was Kate Tellers and her children.
- [21:25]
Chloe Salmon
Kate Tellers is a storyteller, host and
- [21:27]
Kate Tellers
director of Mothworks at the Moth. Her story but also Bring Cheese is
- [21:32]
Chloe Salmon
featured in the Moth's all these Wonders True Stories about facing the unknown, and
- [21:37]
Kate Tellers
her writing has appeared on McSweeney's and the New Yorker podcast production by Julia Purcell.
- [21:47]
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