Teri Garr: Wake Up Call - The Moth | Wave AI Podcast Notes

Transcript

Dan Kennedy (0:00)

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Teri Garr (1:22)

Welcome to the Moth Podcast. I'm Dan Kennedy and as you know, the Moth is all about true stories. And the thing about the Moth is that these are true stories told live, without notes, without reference materials, without any kind of safety net whatsoever. And the stories are taken from our series in New York City, Los Angeles, and now also Chicago and Detroit as well, all across the country, actually from the tour shows. To find out more, Visit the site that is themoth.org so the story you're about to hear by Terry Garr was recorded live at the Moth main Stage back in 2004. And the theme of the night was La La La Stories about Los Angeles.

Teri Garr (2:07)

November 18, 1989. 4:13am, my home in LA. My phone rings and this woman's voice said, is this Terry Garr? And I go, yes, I think so. Well, I just want you to know that I've been sleeping with your boyfriend since August and that I just caught him in bed with another girl this morning at six or something like that, or what I did earlier, three in the morning and I threw all of his potted plants in the pool and I got your number from his phone book and I'm like, who is this? What? Hello? And so I listened to his fries. Well, that's. That's very interesting. Yes, my name is Donna and I was going around with this guy for quite a long time and he always told me, I knew that he knew you he said that you were business partners with him. I was business partners with him. Okay. So I went, all right, that's interesting. And he would drive me around in your car. I had a Mercedes at the time. And he. He told me that it was his car. But this girl who was this aspiring actress took the initiative to look in the glove compartment and see that it was registered to me. So it was my car. That he was driving her around, telling her that it was his car. All right, so big deal. And I was, well, thank you very much. Thank you very much for the information. And I hung up the phone and I thought a lot about it. What should I do? Should I just sit here? I mean, I was totally blindsided. I'm completely naive about this, but I was starting to hyperventilate. So that was around 4 in the morning. So around by 7 in the morning, I thought, you know, he has left a few things at my house. This was a guy I was having a relationship with. We were actually trying to have a baby together. And we were trying to. I mean, I was going. Taking those fertility drugs. So I was a little bit crazy from extra hormones. Anyway, so he had a few things that he left at my house in drawers. He was practically living with me. So I thought, I'll just put all these things in a box and I'll take them back to them now because obviously he doesn't need them anymore. So I put in the socks and the underwear and there's a few baby pictures and all whatever crap of his was left in my house. I put it all in a box. And I was just throwing all the stuff in a box. I happened to see a hammer sitting there. I thought, I'll throw that in the box too. I really had no premeditation about this. I just threw it in there and I decided that I should take these things back to him. So I got in my car, I put the box in the car, and I started driving up there to Bel Air. And it's like 7:30 in the morning. And I now realize how murder can happen. Because, you know, I was just so. Nothing was going to stop me at all. I mean, if someone came up to me and said, here's a $1 million cash in $10 bills if you stop this car, I go, you'll have to keep your fucking money. Cause I'm going, I'm up there and I'm not stopping. So I pull up to his house, his little faux, you know, whatever ranch house. They make a lot of these in la. And I Look at it. I go. I pull out this box of stuff, and I walk up to the front door and. And I ring the doorbell. Nothing. Doorbell. Doorbell. You have a doorbell? Nothing. Nothing. So I go, well, what the hell? So I pull out. Here's your underpants, and here's your socks, and here's your stuff, and here's your pictures. It's me. And. Oh, well, there's a hammer in there. What are you gonna. So I pick up the hammer and I start breaking the windows. Break, break. Crash, crash, crash, crash. He lived in one of those houses that had, like. I don't know what you call it. Like, Tudor, you know, like a lot of little glass on it. Break, break. Crash, crash, crash, crash, crash, crash. Okay, here's the. And the front door. Crash, crash, crash, crash. So I walk around, and I hear nothing stirring in the house. I'm amazed. But anyway, I go to the garage. They have little windows up there. Crash, crash, crash, crash, crash, crash. On the side of the house, there's some windows on the side. Crash, crash, crash. I get back to the kitchen, and I'm crash, crash, crash. And I see him in there like this, like, staggering in a robe on the phone. So I think, well, who's he calling? The police. My God. And when I see him, I come out with some of my best Valley girl talk, which was like, motherfucker, cocksucker, bastard, son of a bitch. I mean, he was just looking at me. I really wonder sometimes what he was thinking at that moment. I know what I was thinking. And it was one of those moments that just changed my life. I just thought, I'll never be the same after this. It was a big wake up call, ok? So I started walking around the back. I figure it's time to wrap this up. He's on the phone to the police or something. So I guess it's gotta be sort of, maybe I better haul ass out of there. So I walk around the side of the house, and as I come around the front of the house, around the side of the garage, there's this cop. It was a fake cop. Bel Air Patrol. I don't know what they are. And he's got a gun pointed at me. And for the first time in my life, I was very happy about this. He recognized me and he said, oh, Ms. Gar, are you all right? See, I think he thought I was the victim, which, of course I was, but in a different kind of way. I mean, you know, he thought I was in there being, you know, molested or whatever. So I said, Well, I am now. And I went back and got in my car and drove away. And that was sort of the end. I went home and I sat around for a while. I was like huffing and puffing, walking around my house. And well, I did that. And now, you know, by this time it's like 9am or something. And I've done a lot of work since 4 in the morning. So I start calling people up to tell them about this. And, you know, some of my friends said, oh, I told you. So I tried to tell you. And I said, I don't remember anyone trying to tell me about this guy. But anyway, some people just, you know, they tried to help me, calm me down and I wasn't having any of that. Some people just said, you know, I'm weeding the lawn, will you call me later? They weren't really interested in it. So later that day, I decided not to let this stop me from my life. And I'm going off with my life, even though this horrible thing has happened and I have all these raging hormones. And so I went to this. I had been invited to this art exhibit, art opening at a gallery. Because, you know, I wasn't gonna let this incident interfere with my sense of art and my whole aesthetic feeling. So I walked into this. This is a really LA Hollywood story. And I walked into this art gallery and there was people there like Angelica Houston. And I think, oh, I'm kind of drawing a blank. That wonderful model with the gap tooth. Exactly. Lauren Hutton. Oh, they're all being different. It was the big A crowd at this place. So I walk in and I'm just walking around looking at the art, not really seeing anything too much, but there. And someone came up to me and said, so how are you? I said, how am I? I'll tell you how I am. So I told everybody the story. I just broke all the windows in this guy's house because he. So then, interestingly enough, all these other women came up to me and started telling me their story. Oh, you want to hear what I did once? I'm not going to say if it was Lauren or if it was, you know, Angelica or anybody, but there's a lot of good stories. This apparently has happened to a lot of women. And my guess is not just in la, but since it's an LA story. So one girl said, you know, I went with this guy. It's always guys like this. He was very vain and he had all these Gucci Armani suits and his clothes, you know, like a dozen of them. And I snuck in the house one night and I just cut off the left leg of every suit. They were, I said, very creative, very nice, very subtle, very nice. So the next girl said, you know, I just did something. I just put a little hose. I didn't know he was going away for the weekend. I put a hose in the bathroom window and turned it on and left. And so that was, I think, nice and simple. Very nice. You did that. But there was a lot of these stories. One girl came up to me, this is one of my favorites, and she said, you know, I got so pissed off and he started going with this other woman and we were having, you know, everyone's got the story about it was the perfect relationship. Of course it wasn't. I'm sure, you know, Lacy Peterson thought hers was good too. Oh, never. I don't want to bring that up. But it was in California. Anyway, she said, I went to the house and I went and I shaved my name in the dog's back so that, you know, for the next six months this woman who's there, who's Judy. Oh, never mind, never mind. I thought that was very good. So this apparently happens to a lot of women because of the way men are. No, but I've decided now because of being in LA and being in Hollywood and hearing all these stories about how the actors and actresses of Hollywood, me being one of them, are sort of naive and narcissistic and self centered. We don't see the truth until of course, it's right sitting on our heads and going, oh my God, he's fooling around on me. Because, you know, I, it might have something to do with my relationship with my father who was, you know, my parents came from here, New York. They worked on Broadway plays and stage and musicals and stuff. And they went to Hollywood to become famous. Like such a big mistake. Not really a big mistake, but it doesn't happen that often and. And my father was a. I have six words. Well, he was a very funny, semi famous Irish Catholic alcoholic comedian. That might explain a lot of my choice in men. But he had a struggle out there and my mom did too. And so I always end up picking up these kind of guys. And I figure this happens a lot in Hollywood because there's a lot of sordid, weird people out there seeking fame and fortune for nothing. I mean, now my parents did have nothing. They all had talent stuff. But even if you have talent in la, you don't get chances. I mean, look at Andy and look at Sue. I mean People, you know, you don't get the chances all the time. So I figure that also, I mean, there's these weird relationships. I mean, look at Robert Blake and his wife. I mean, he killed her. I think we'll see what happens at the trial or. And then there's the OJ Thing. I mean, you know, and I live in Brentwood now too. And when I got divorced I thought, well, you know, I guess a semi famous celebrity is allowed to kill their spouse in Brentwood. If you live there, I mean, it's okay, you can do it. I thought about it too. But here's the trick. I think in every relationship, after a year or so, everyone gets to the point where they want to kill the other person. I mean, it just happens. And the trick is you have to kind of avoid that somehow and you have to get just up to the part where you're gonna kill and then you have to not do it. Well, I think I recommend the Windows. That worked for me very well and all right, that's the end of my story.

Summary of "Teri Garr: Wake Up Call" – The Moth Podcast

Introduction

In the December 7, 2009 episode of The Moth podcast titled "Teri Garr: Wake Up Call," Academy Award-nominated actress Teri Garr shares a gripping and personal true story that delves into themes of betrayal, anger, and self-discovery. Recorded live on The Moth's main stage in 2004 during a night themed "La La La: Stories about Los Angeles," Garr's narrative offers a raw and honest portrayal of a tumultuous moment in her life and its aftermath.

The Call That Shattered Trust

At the outset of her story, Garr recounts a harrowing early morning phone call that served as a catalyst for her ensuing actions.

[02:07] Teri Garr: "November 18, 1989. 4:13am, my home in LA. My phone rings and this woman's voice said, is this Terry Garr? And I go, yes, I think so."

The caller reveals that Garr's boyfriend had been unfaithful, sharing details that betray his deceit:

[02:30] Garr: "I threw all of his potted plants in the pool... an aspiring actress took the initiative to look in the glove compartment and see that it was registered to me."

This revelation leaves Garr feeling blindsided and overwhelmed, sparking a sense of betrayal and confusion.

From Betrayal to Action: The Decision to Confront

Garr describes her emotional turmoil and the irrational decisions that follow:

[03:15] Garr: "I was starting to hyperventilate... I thought, I'll just put all these things in a box and I'll take them back to them now because obviously he doesn't need them anymore."

With little premeditation, she includes a hammer among her boyfriend's belongings, setting the stage for her dramatic confrontation.

The Confrontation: Breaking Through

Garr's determination leads her to Bel Air, where she confronts her ex-boyfriend at his residence. The intensity of her emotions is palpable as she describes the chaotic scene:

[05:45] Garr: "I start breaking the windows. Break, break. Crash, crash. Crash, crash."

Despite her aggressive actions, she finds her boyfriend seemingly unaware of her presence until it's too late.

[07:20] Garr: "And when I see him, I come out with some of my best Valley girl talk, which was like, motherfucker, cocksucker, bastard, son of bitch."

This explosive moment underscores the depth of her anger and frustration.

Aftermath: Facing Reality and Shared Anger

Following the confrontation, Garr reflects on the surreal nature of her actions and the lack of immediate consequences:

[09:10] Garr: "I went home and I sat around for a while... some people just said, you know, I'm weeding the lawn, will you call me later."

Her decision to not let the incident derail her life leads her to an art exhibit, where sharing her story becomes a unifying experience with other women who have similarly vented their frustrations against unfaithful partners.

[10:30] Garr: "So then, interestingly enough, all these other women came up to me and started telling me their story."

Reflections on Hollywood and Relationship Dynamics

Garr delves into broader reflections on the nature of relationships within the Hollywood scene, attributing many of her relationship challenges to cultural and familial influences:

[11:15] Garr: "I think in every relationship, after a year or so, everyone gets to the point where they want to kill the other person."

She humorously suggests that raising the windows—both literally and metaphorically—can help release pent-up anger:

[12:00] Garr: "I think I recommend the Windows. That worked for me very well."

Conclusion: A Wake-Up Call

Garr closes her story by emphasizing the transformative impact of that night, labeling it a significant "wake up call" that altered her perspective on life and relationships.

[12:25] Garr: "I just thought, I'll never be the same after this. It was a big wake up call, ok?"

Her candid and vivid recounting offers listeners an intimate glimpse into a pivotal moment of vulnerability, anger, and eventual empowerment.

Final Thoughts

Teri Garr's "Wake Up Call" is a compelling narrative that not only entertains but also invites reflection on how individuals cope with betrayal and reclaim their sense of agency. Through her story, Garr highlights the universal struggle of maintaining composure amidst personal upheaval and the importance of finding solidarity in shared experiences.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

[02:30] "I threw all of his potted plants in the pool... an aspiring actress took the initiative to look in the glove compartment and see that it was registered to me."
[05:45] "I start breaking the windows. Break, break. Crash, crash. Crash, crash."
[07:20] "And when I see him, I come out with some of my best Valley girl talk, which was like, motherfucker, cocksucker, bastard, son of bitch."
[10:30] "So then, interestingly enough, all these other women came up to me and started telling me their story."
[12:00] "I think I recommend the Windows. That worked for me very well."

Conclusion

Teri Garr's "Wake Up Call" on The Moth serves as a powerful testament to the human capacity for anger, resilience, and growth. Her story resonates with anyone who has faced unexpected betrayal and underscores the importance of sharing and healing through communal support.