The Moth Radio Hour – "The Deep End" (February 24, 2026)

Episode Overview

This episode of The Moth Radio Hour, hosted by Jay Allison, centers on true personal stories about being "thrown into the deep end." Each storyteller recounts a situation when they found themselves challenged beyond their comfort level, forced to navigate uncertainty, adversity, or profound change—sometimes literally, sometimes figuratively. Through humor, heartache, and hard-won wisdom, these stories explore resilience, transformation, and the unexpected lessons that come from facing life’s toughest moments.

Key Stories & Discussion Points

1. Mukosi Shmakambasu: Science Fairs and Silent Struggles

• [03:31] Mukosi recounts a childhood story at a science fair, navigating challenges as a neurodivergent first-generation American. Despite his passion and creativity for his project (comparing pulley systems), Mukosi struggled to communicate with adult judges due to undiagnosed autism.

• Highlights:

  • Pressure of being in the spotlight as a kid with ADHD and autism, and the social burden of repeated adult questioning.
  • Breaks down emotionally, feeling "individually persecuted" by the process and overwhelmed (described as a "very mild but consistent form of torture").
  • Unexpectedly receives first place—an external validation that both rewards effort and creates a new challenge: presenting to an even larger audience.
  • Quote:

    "I can't get the words from in my head into their ears. It's not working. I don't have the tools. I can't do it." (06:07)

  • Memorable Moment: Mukosi’s mother and father, immigrants unfamiliar with American childhood rituals, inadvertently reinforce his sense of isolation and difference.
  • The award sticks with him as a formative memory, teaching him he could rise to "deep end" challenges.

• Mukosi on Facing Future Deep Ends

  • [09:33]
  • Quote:

    "I have no idea what the next deep end level challenge may be, but I'm confident...that I'll be ready to leap or at the very least willingly accept the nudge when presented with it."

2. Gary Sizer: Caregiving in Crisis

• [10:15] Gary narrates his experience moving in with his mother to help care for her as she succumbs to ALS, set against the backdrop of the pandemic.

• Highlights:

  • The initial call about his mother's fall; the family learns she has ALS.
  • Decides not to use nursing homes due to COVID risks—family steps in as caregivers.
  • Becomes the primary overnight caregiver, with life revolving around the sound of his mother’s bell.
  • The emotional toll, role reversal, and the pain of watching his mother's rapid decline.
  • Memorable, Darkly Humorous Moment:
    • After a bout of effort changing her linens, his mom motions for her notepad and writes, "You need a shower." (15:39)
  • Mom expresses a wish to die, asks Gary to help; he’s heartbroken but cannot.
  • Experiences a psychotic break from the cumulative stress and grief.
  • Misses his mother's final moments due to medical leave but is present for her funeral.
  • Finds catharsis and a measure of healing through physically hacking at invasive weeds in his yard—a metaphor for processing grief and reclaiming a sense of life.
  • Quote:

    "This was the most important thing I had ever done. And it was doomed to fail. There was no way to succeed. And something inside me broke and the boulder rolled over me." (16:56) "But all it did was just bounce off the ground. And nothing happened until there was nothing left in me. And I collapsed...And it was good, because in that moment, I knew that I was alive and that I was strong." (18:05)

• Gary on Deep End Redefinition
  [19:18] "I'm in the deep end now. I've spent the last year selling or donating anything that wouldn't fit in a suitcase. And two months ago, I left the US with no concrete plans to return."
  [19:32] "Things are going pretty great. I live in a beautiful place with the person I love most… Every single day."

3. Claire Walder: The Swim-a-Thon (and Beating the Odds)

• [22:28] Claire tells of being habitually picked last for sports due to lack of skill and speed, only to be unexpectedly tested by a charity swim-a-thon in rural 1970s Australia.
• Highlights:
  • Her dad bets she won’t make it far and sponsors her on the assumption she’ll only swim a few laps.
  • To everyone's shock, Claire just keeps swimming—long after every other kid finishes, surpassing expectations and making it to all 40 laps.
  • Her father's humorously indignant response:

    "If I knew you could swim 40 laps I wouldn't have sponsored you!" (28:18)

  • Despite discomfort and exhaustion, the experience becomes a central lesson in self-efficacy and perseverance. Claire grows up embracing solo challenges: bike rides, treks—always defying expectations.
  • Quote:

    "It's a defining moment for me. I realize I don't have to do team sports. School disagrees with me. But I have gone on in adulthood…"

  • Advice: Sponsor the underestimated at your own risk.
• Claire on Her Current Deep End
  [30:27]

  "My next deep end challenge is working out what I want to do with the next part of my life...I don't really care if people underestimate me. I know what I'm capable of, and those that know me, never doubt me."

4. Mi Trang Nguyen: Of Loss, Lizards, and Letting Go

• [32:02] After losing her father during the pandemic and watching her mother spiral into grief, Mi Trang finds solace and unexpected healing as the reluctant caretaker of her neighbor’s two elderly bearded dragon lizards.
• Highlights:
  • Initially terrified—"I hate, hate reptiles" (32:28)—she adapts, learning lizard care through trial and error.
  • Grows to appreciate the lizards' quiet presence and even bonds with them.
  • One lizard, Jade, dies under her care, triggering feelings of guilt reminiscent of family caregiving struggles.
  • The experience prompts empathy and acceptance of mortality, which she channels into her approach to supporting her mother.
  • Turning Point:

    "I gave [my mom] a pedicure...her feet in my hands, and they were just so old and fragile with delicate bones and papery skin. This is a life that has been very full and lived in those feet and still living. And in that moment, I just had this moment of total gratitude and understanding." (36:45)

  • Profound gratitude emerges for life's cycles and for overcoming her phobia—"I changed. And I love love lizards." (37:56)
• On Facing Future Deep Ends
  [38:44]

  "The deep end I faced during the pandemic is the same fear I face in the future: the loss of people and things I love. Because death is the only certainty in life, I'll keep reminding myself to face loss with courage and gratitude for all that is good in the present moment."

  • Continues caring for lizards, ultimately with Onyx until her death, and reflects on bringing joy to her declining mother through touch, stories, and food (39:37).

5. Iana Banfield: A Trial Run at Independence

• [42:41] Iana, then a 17-year-old with severe allergies and asthma, had never spent real time away from her overprotective mother—until a high school trip to Washington, D.C. forces a test of independence.
• Highlights:
  • Anxieties about leaving her mother’s protective reach (frequent jokes about her mom hiding in delis, ready with an EpiPen).
  • The field trip’s hotel is dreadful—"looked kind of like if the Addams Family decided to open up a hotel" (43:33), compounded by her asthma flaring from cigar smoke.
  • In the middle of the night, a fire alarm goes off. The main exit is locked; tension and fear peak as they try to escape.
  • She takes the lead to find an alternate exit, and they make it outdoors unharmed.
  • Core Lesson: Even in crisis, even without her mom, she was able to protect herself and her friends.
  • Quote:

    "My first thought was 'Oh my God, I should have never left my mom… Now would be a great time for my mom to fly out of that deli and come to my rescue. But there is no deli, and there is no mom. There's just me and my friends.'" (48:09) "I made it out…If I could survive a fire in a sketchy motel in Washington, D.C. without my mom, then I could survive just about anything." (51:54)

• On Her Next Deep End
  [53:00]

  "Being a student has become part of my identity. I can't predict what awaits me…but I have confidence that...I'll persevere against whatever obstacles are thrown at me and fulfill my dreams. Adjusting is a part of the journey."

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• Mukosi Shmakambasu:

  "I can't get the words from in my head into their ears. It's not working. I don't have the tools. I can't do it." (06:07)

• Gary Sizer:

  "This was the most important thing I had ever done. And it was doomed to fail. There was no way to succeed. And something inside me broke and the boulder rolled over me." (16:56)
  "I was with her by myself...she confessed to me that she wanted to die. She begged me to put a pillow over her face. I said, mom, I can't do that. I'll get in so much trouble. But she really meant it. And it was a sincere, heartfelt moment that just crushed me." (15:19)

• Claire Walder:

  "If I knew you could swim 40 laps I wouldn't have sponsored you!" (28:18)

• Mi Trang Nguyen:

  "I hate, hate reptiles. It's just been a phobia I've had since a child." (32:28)
  "Her feet were just so old and fragile...This is a life that has been very full and lived in those feet and still living. And in that moment, I just had this moment of total gratitude and understanding." (36:45)

• Iana Banfield:

  "My guidance counselor decided to test this theory a little early." (43:18)
  "Oh my God, I should have never left my mom...Now would be a great time for my mom to fly out of that deli and come to my rescue. But there is no deli, and there is no mom. There's just me and my friends." (48:09)
  "If I could survive a fire in a sketchy motel in Washington, D.C. without my mom, then I could survive just about anything." (51:54)

Timestamps for Major Segments

• [03:31] Mukosi Shmakambasu: Science fair and the challenges of neurodivergence
• [09:13] Reflections from Mukosi on the "next deep end"
• [10:15] Gary Sizer: ALS, family caregiving, and catharsis
• [19:18] Gary’s new “deep end” after loss—moving abroad
• [22:28] Claire Walder: Rural Australia, swim-a-thon, winning against the odds
• [30:27] Claire on redefining challenges and her future
• [32:02] Mi Trang Nguyen: Pandemic grief, lizard caregiving, acceptance
• [38:44] Mi Trang on continual deep ends and gratitude in loss
• [42:41] Iana Banfield: Independence, fear, and a literal fire test
• [53:00] Iana on graduation and the next phase of her life

Final Thoughts

The stories in this "Deep End" episode span a range of human experiences—neurodiversity, grief, caring for elders (and pets), defying expectations, and gaining independence. Each storyteller navigates unexpected adversity, ultimately discovering new reservoirs of strength and wisdom. The power of these stories lies in their vulnerability and honesty, inviting listeners to reflect on their own "deep end" moments and how they shape us all.