The Moth Podcast: Diavian Walters and Lori Gottlieb

Date: September 5, 2025
Host: Dan Kennedy

Episode Overview

In this special episode, The Moth Podcast spotlights the raw and transformative courage required to embrace life's most vulnerable moments. The show features two storytellers:

Diavian Walters, who recounts a deeply personal journey of self-acceptance and identity through her hair.
Lori Gottlieb, who shares the hilarious and poignant saga of choosing unconventional paths to motherhood.

Both stories tackle themes of self-discovery, societal expectations, and the emotional turbulence behind pivotal life choices.

Story 1: Diavian Walters — "Cutting Through the Noise"

Live at The Moth High School Grand Slam (2016)
Story begins: [03:50]

Key Discussion Points

Alopecia and Early Hair Struggles
- As a child, Diavian suffered from partial alopecia which caused insecurity and dependence on her mother for hair care.
  
  "My mom was the only one to touch my hair. And that was one of two reasons. The first reason being I had partial alopecia..." ([03:54])
'Mom Magic' and Newfound Confidence
- Despite doctors' prognosis, her hair regrows, leading to joy but ongoing battles over styling due to a tender scalp.
The Big Chop: Embracing Natural Hair
- Inspired by YouTube, Diavian impulsively decides to go natural, cutting off her relaxed hair herself.
- The results are emotionally mixed: instead of the long curls she dreamed of, she faces a shrunken, poofy look.
- Notably, the act symbolizes her taking ownership of her identity, regardless of others' reactions.
Parental Reactions: Humor and Healing
- Her mom is supportive; her dad, less so—initially comparing her to a "mushroom" ([06:50]), which stings.
- Full-circle moment: a year later, her dad lightens up, affectionately calling her a "bear" because of her bun hairstyle.
Validating Friendship and Newfound Self-Love
- A friend admires Diavian's hair, helping her shift her perspective and embrace her natural coils.
  
  “You should embrace your coils more. They're so beautiful. I wish I had your hair.” (friend, [08:53])
- Diavian’s journey becomes a metaphor for learning self-acceptance and pride in her heritage.

Notable Quotes & Moments

On impulsively cutting her hair:

"...I'm gonna do it. I have to give myself a pep talk, because if I don't, I'm not gonna do it..." ([05:34])
On seeking validation:

“Do you like it? It's ok if you don't like it. You can tell me if you don't like it. Even though I'm gonna cry, but you can tell me...” ([06:31])
Dad's stinging 'mushroom' comment:

“You look like a mushroom.” ([06:56])
Dad's later, gentler nickname:

“The buns, they look like ears. You look like a bear. And I'm like, I'm a bear. ...I'll take that. That’s a compliment.” ([07:38])
Friend's supportive perspective:

“You should embrace your coils more. They're so beautiful. I wish I had your hair.” ([08:53])
Diavian’s self-acceptance:

“Now I know that I can appreciate my kinks and my coils. ...Even though I was a mushroom, I am now a bear, and this is great.” ([09:34])

Interview Segment: Diavian Walters and Mikayla Bly

Begins: [10:11]

Diavian discusses family reactions, her father’s joking manner, and how storytelling allowed her to process past hurt.
She reflects on the political nature of Black hair and the evolution of her self-confidence:

“As my story got older, it got bolder, too. ...Now I'm able to kind of address it and not feel like I'm... gonna say something wrong or someone's gonna...why is she bringing race into this?" ([11:20])
Closing thought:

"I always told myself no, because I thought that my story wouldn't matter. So when I cut my hair I told myself that you're going to start telling yourself yes from now on." ([11:59])

Story 2: Lori Gottlieb — "The Sperm Office"

Recorded at The Moth Mainstage, Aspen Ideas Festival
Story begins: [15:37]

Key Discussion Points

Get Desperate, But Remain Picky: Late-30s Motherhood
- Recently out of a long relationship, Lori faces "the end-of-fertility" clock.
- Her friend suggests sperm donation, launching Lori into the surreal world of online donor catalogs.
  
  “I was in this kind of tricky situation that I guess can best be described as desperate but picky." ([15:42])
The Surreal Sperm Search
- Lori humorously details choices like "PhD or MBA? Lacrosse player or literature major?" and the dubious world of discount sperm providers.
  
  “Maybe it's me, but I just wasn't comfortable going to the Costco of semen.” ([16:03])
The Insider Scoop: 'Lab Girls'
- Lori’s secret weapon: lab staff at the donor banks who provide behind-the-scenes details on donors.
  
  “Anytime there was a profile that I was seriously considering, I would call up the sperm bank and ask for this lab girl named Maureen.” ([16:32])
Seeking (Very) Unconventional Advice
- She consults her therapist, whose advice includes questioning her attraction to "edgy but inappropriate" men.
- Finds a “George Clooney lookalike” donor, becomes attached, only to discover he’s "out of stock."
  
  “...what happens next is a little bubble pops up that says out of stock.” ([19:17])
Plan C: Asking a Real-Life Acquaintance
- Lori attempts to cut out the middleman by propositioning a "movie star gorgeous," much younger filmmaker she barely knows.
- Initial confusion ensues, but he eventually agrees to discuss being her donor.
  
  “It's like talking about strange sperm has broken down all the emotional walls...” ([22:32])
Weeks of 'Sperm Office' Meetings
- Comic relief: they repeatedly meet at a café nicknamed "Spurth"; the sperm talk leads to surprising emotional intimacy.
- Prospects brighten—until the would-be donor gets cold feet and bows out with classic breakup lines.
  
  “I am about to be dumped by my donor...” ([25:40])
Redemption (and a Little Frosty)
- Lori steps away, heartbroken, before finally getting a call —one returned vial of her dream donor is available.
- She has her son; the story ends with her son's own pride in his unique origin.
  
  “He gets this huge smile on his face and does a little fist pump like LeBron James...” ([29:53])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On sperm bank choices:

“I will skimp on toilet paper, but not on the genetic material for my child.” ([16:09])
Lab girl Maureen on a donor:

“Well, he's not unattractive, but I wouldn't look twice at him in the subway. So I knew she was my girl.” ([16:39])
Therapist's dry wisdom:

“How is having a baby with a married man any less creepy than having a baby with a teenager in college?" ([17:05])
Donor-out-of-stock letdown:

“Once you pick a specific donor, you start to kind of picture a specific baby. And now I have to let that baby go." ([19:27])
On meeting and 'breaking the ice':

“I start awkwardly mixing lame metaphors...it's like donating a kidney, but without removing the organ. And then I'm like, oh, I shouldn't have said organ." ([21:14])
On donor deliberations:

“I tell him that if we're going to go forward, we have exactly two weeks to make a decision. ...We have nicknames for each other and we know the intimate details of each other's lives..." ([23:35])
Ultimate rejection:

“I am about to be dumped by my donor...spewing the breakup cliches. It's not you, it's me.” ([25:41])
Her son's pride in his origin:

“He says, 'I am so cool.' And I look at my son, who by the way does look like a mini version of George Clooney...” ([29:56])

Timestamps for Key Segments

[03:50] Diavian Walters' Live Story
[10:11] Diavian Walters Interview with Mikayla Bly
[15:37] Lori Gottlieb's Live Story

Final Thoughts

Both storytellers use sharp humor, vulnerability, and honesty to explore what it means to dare greatly: Diavian in the act of radical self-acceptance, and Lori in her relentless pursuit of family on her own terms. Their stories invite listeners to reflect on resilience, to laugh at life's absurdities, and to embrace the messy, wonderful unpredictability of personal transformation.