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- [00:00]
Narrator
Is there anything more electric than standing in a packed stadium chanting for an artist to come back out on the stage for one more song? Well, actually, there is when your cash comes back for an encore. And with Discover, it can, because they automatically match all the cash back you've earned at the end of your first year. So, yeah, it pays to stick around until curtain call, but it pays to discover even more. See terms@discover.com credit card today's show is sponsored by Alma. I know I'm not the only one who turns to the Internet when I'm struggling. It feels like there are so many answers from how to learn the ukulele to how to improve my mental health. But what I've come to realize is that while I can use the Internet to strum a stunted version of La Vie en Rose, when it comes to taking care of my mind, there's no replacement for real human relationships. But even finding a therapist can feel like an inevitable online black hole. That's why I'm so happy to share that Alma makes it easy to connect with an experienced therapist, a real person who can listen, understand and support you through your specific challenges. You don't have to be stuck with the first available person. Trust me. It's important to find someone you click with. They can be nice, they can be smart, they can let you bring your Chihuahua. True story. But they also have to be someone who really gets you. Uniquely, when you browse Alma's online directory, you can filter by the qualities that matter to you. Then book free 15 minute consultations with the therapists you're interested in seeing. This way, you can find someone you connect with on a personal level and see real improvements in your mental health with their support. Better with people, better with Alma. Visit helloalma.commoth to get started and schedule a free consultation today. That's hello A l M a dot com moth.
- [01:55]
Michelle Jelowski
I'm Michelle Jelowski. This is the Moth. Right now, we're in Boston, a city where over 1,675 people have gone on stage and told a moth story. Here's one of those tellers, Julie Baker.
- [02:12]
Julie Baker
When I hear the doorbell ring, I think, seriously, but it's Jill. And even death wouldn't be a good excuse for blowing off Jill. So I put on my coat with a hood, I grab my rolling old lady carriage, I grab the blind cane and I head downstairs. They there she is, my blind coach. I didn't seek out a blind coach. I didn't know that blindness was a sport that required a coach. But when my neuro ophthalmologist told me that my Ms. Related optic nerve damage had crossed over into legal blindness, I was like, okay, whatever. I see just as well as I saw yesterday. And she said. She referred me to the Mass Commission for the Blind. I asked her if she was allowed to do that without my consent, and she thought I was joking. I wasn't joking. I tell Jill on the phone that I really don't want to waste her time. I'm sure she's a really busy person. Not actually blind, blind, because I can still do stuff on my own. She just listens. She says, mm, mm. And she makes an appointment to come to my house. She's carrying a blind cane. She had asked me on the phone what my height was, and I saw the cane, and. And I said, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not doing that. I'm not that kind of blind. I get around just fine. She said, okay, okay. So, do you ever fall? I said, no, no, no, no. Well, not out on the street. I fell down the stairs, but it's because it's a new house to me, and I have no depth perception. But now my son and I went to dollar that's bright orange and purple, sparkly and royal blue, and we put it on each step so I don't fall down the stairs anymore. She said, yeah, Is your son gonna follow you around with duct tape? I thought that was a little rude. She asked me if I ever got lost, and I said no. I put in headphones and the Google directions told me to go up here and turn right and go up and turn left, and I was fine. She said, how about in the dark? I said, well, I just get rides in the dark. I don't really like to walk around in the dark, especially the new neighborhood. She said, okay, well, I'm going to give you the phone number of somebody who's also a reluctant cane user. And you call her and you hear her story, whatever. I'll call her so I can tell her, I talked to this woman, and we're very, very different. I call her, and she's funny. She tells me some funny stories about Jill, which I appreciate. She also thinks Jill doesn't have much of a sense of humor. She tells me everything changed when she named her blind cane. And she named him Stanley. And she introduced him to children in her classroom. She was a teacher, and she traveled the world with Stanley, and Stanley helped her explore and be independent. She said, maybe you need to name your blind cane. I said, Yeah, I don't think so. Because if I were to name the blind cane at this point, his name would be fucking Dickhead. And then I fell in the street. I wasn't using fucking Dickhead. It was a new sidewalk to me. I didn't know the sidewalks by heart the way I did in my old neighborhood, so I didn't see where the roots kind of made it buckle. And I tripped and I fell, and it was hard, and I ripped my pants. My knee was bleeding, and I was laying there on the sidewalk. I was embarrassed. It hurt, and I was pissed because Jill was right and I wasn't safe without the blind cane. So I sent her a text. I said, fine, fine. I'll do the blind cane training. And we did, and we took the train and we walked upstairs, and I still was not happy. I didn't like that I needed the goddamn blind cane, and I was going to do whatever I could do to avoid certain blind cane situations. I told her that people would think I was faking because when I'm on the train with the blind cane and I'm looking at my phone, they know I can really see, and I'm probably just trying to ride for free. She said, yeah. Do you think blindness is all black and white? Because it's a spectrum. When she suggested we go to the grocery store, I said, no, no, no, no. There's this thing called Instagram Instacart, and I don't have to do that. And if I want to run in for oat milk, I know exactly where it is. She said, okay, what happens if you need something? Instacart doesn't have it, and you don't know how to find it? So I meet her. We go to Shaw's. It's raining. I said to her, how do blind people deal in the rain? I have the old lady carriage. I have the blind cane, and it's raining. How am I supposed to do that? Do blind people not get to use umbrellas? She said, well, you have a hood, right? We walk to the store, and I'm angry and it's raining, but I did it. And I asked for things that I couldn't find. And when I left the store, the sun came out, and I said to Jill, I'm okay on my own from here. And I snapped my cane open like a Jedi lightsaber, and I went home with everything on my list.
- [09:37]
Michelle Jelowski
That was Julie Baker. Julie is a writer, storyteller, and mom of two adult children who almost always text back. She's getting ready to walk the Camino de Santiago, Portuguese coastal route 175 miles from Porto to Spain with a blind cane named Stella and her partner Paul Julie. That's amazing and we can't wait to hear how it goes. And if you'd like to see a photo of Julie and her cane named Stella at the Acropolis in Athens, check out our website, themoth.org Extras on this episode, we have two stories you just heard. The first about learning to accept help, and this next one's all about a steamy Italian tryst. But you'll have to wait a few seconds for it. We'll be right back.
- [10:18]
Lumen Sponsor
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- [11:10]
Life360 Sponsor
I am single and I spend some time each year traveling with the Moth, helping people craft and share stories. And there are times my friends and family get a little worried about me. Whether it's your spouse, your kids, your parents, or even your friends, loving someone means you want to know they're okay. Life360 addresses that anxiety with their location sharing app that puts the real time location of everyone you love right in the palm of your hand. When I'm traveling with the moth, Life360 will give my family peace of mind. Life360 even has roadside assistance and tile trackers for your keys and luggage. So many features to help everyone feel safe. My life 360 circle is about to include my family and my best friend Erin. And if they're ever curious or worried about me, they can just open the app to see where I am. Get peace of mind in the palm of your hand with Life360, visit life360.com or download the app today and use Code moth to get 15% off. That's life360.com Code Moth welcome back up.
- [12:15]
Michelle Jelowski
Next, we'll find some unlikely lessons in the most unlikely place of all. A dating app. Hannah Bowens told this at a New York story slam where the theme was deal breakers. Here's Hannah live at the Moth.
- [12:29]
Hannah Bowens
Thanks. So I turned 30 at the beginning of this year. Thank you. And I learned that the quickest way out of an identity crisis is sexting an Italian that you met on a hookup app. So I was living in Chicago. He was in Rome. We'll call him Luca. And very quickly, my daily flirting, virtual flirting conversations with Luca became, like, the best part of my day. We were exchanging dirty text photos, voice notes, you name it. And I had never done anything like this before, but I loved it. Because when I was talking to Luca, I was not. I wasn't this, like, sad, depressed, anxious, over thinker who was struggling to function. I was confident. I was sexy. I knew exactly what I wanted. And I was someone worth wanting. And I tried to keep it. I tried to take things slow. So I waited eight weeks before I got on a plane to Italy to meet Luca. And I spent the entire plane ride. I should have been learning Italian words for, like, catfishing. Help me. No. I was smiling the whole way, really proud of myself, because I was turning my pathetic life into a real life movie. And whether that movie was going to be the next great love story or a Netflix documentary about my murder, that was for fate to decide. And for anyone wondering, I did. I bought my own flight. I paid my way. It put me into debt. But when you have nothing left to lose, like a looming credit card bill, is really nothing. It's a small price for the chance I love. So I met Luca outside the airport in Rome. We got into his car to drive to Tuscany, and I was absolutely sick with nerves. But he was sweet, he was cute. He looked just like his photos. He even had a piece of pizza for me in the car to eat on the way. And my entire body just relaxed in that moment. Because you don't bother with road pizza if you're plotting murder. So we pull up to Tuscany, to our rustic villa. It's sunset. And if this is all starting to sound, like, too good to be true, Yeah, I thought so, too. And I just was like, you know what? That's my inner self saboteur. And I am not going to let that toxic prude ruin this for me. So, like, put that to the side. But as the night went on, the more wine I was drinking, that voice just got a little bit louder. And I just kept thinking, you are a Phony. You're just over here performing for the stranger. He is going to see right through you. And I felt suddenly really stupid for being there, like, kidding myself that I was deserving or capable of this kind of happiness. So, you know, sexy thoughts, all sexy foreplay. And at one point, we sit down by the fire. We're, like, on the carpet in front of the fire. And that's when I look at Luca and I'm. I can tell something is weighing on him, too. So I pour another glass of. I still can't pronounce it. Montepuciano, whatever, wine. And he opens up that he had lost all of his savings in an investment that went bad earlier that year and he was starting to save up again. But he had moved in with his mom in Rome, and I could tell just the shame on his face when he was telling me this was all too familiar. And I shared with him that I had lost my day job earlier that year. The side writing project I'd been working on for two years was recently put on hold indefinitely. And I had also moved in with my parents. So there we were, two adults who had taken big risks, and it landed us broke. Sending nudes from childhood bedrooms. And depending on your perspective, it could seem very pathetic. But in that moment, it seemed, like, incredibly romantic. And I'm gonna save the dirty details of the rest of the weekend for the feature script. But it was great. It was a lot of fun. And I left. I went back home, and we drifted apart. And it sort of turned out that distance and work turned out to be deal breakers. But I think being on that silly app that was just meant for fun with no strings attached. We discovered people that we liked each other, but also we could be people that we liked. Confident, playful, fun with a little bit of passion. Still left. And he's still a good friend. I had a really good way to end this, and I just totally blanked on it. I'm sorry. Yeah. Thank you.
- [18:25]
Michelle Jelowski
That was Hannah Bowens. Hannah's risk taking continued with International Pet Sitting until she found her own cat, Moses, and settled in Chicago. Her next project is a podcast about sex in the movies. She still believes it's more important that the risk pays off rather than the credit card bill. That's it for this episode. If you're enjoying the podcast, why not tell a friend about it? So many of our listeners are here because their families and loved ones told them about the money moth. And we'd love if you could share our stories with the people you care about from all of us here at the Moth have a story worthy week.
- [18:58]
Mark Salinger
Michelle Jalowski is a Director at the Moth, where she helps people craft and shape their stories for stages all over the world. This episode of the Moth Podcast was produced by Sarah Austin, Janess, Sarah Jane Johnson and me, Mark Salinger. The rest of the Moth leadership team includes Sarah Haberman, Christina Norman, Jennifer Hickson, Kate Tellers, Marina Clouche, Suzanne Rust, Leanne Gulley and Patricia Urena. The Moth Podcast is presented by Odyssey. Special thanks to their executive producer Leah Rees Dennis. All Moth stories are true as remembered by their storytellers. For more about our podcast, information on pitching your own story and everything else, go to our website themoth.org.
- [19:43]
Julie Baker
I've been.
- [19:44]
Mark Salinger
Counted out, dismissed, passed over, told I'd never be a golfer with just one arm.
- [19:49]
Hannah Bowens
But the only thing that feels better than proving people wrong is out driving them. I'm 14 year old golfer Tommy Morrissey.
- [19:56]
Mark Salinger
And I want to be remembered for.
- [19:58]
Michelle Jelowski
My ability as a champion partner of the Masters. Bank of America supports everyone determined to find out what's possible in golf and in life. What would you like the power to do? Bank of America bank of America NA Member FDIC Copyright 2025 bank of America Corporation all rights reserved.