Podcast Summary: The Moth Podcast – "Joy and Pain"
Episode Overview Released on July 4, 2025, "Joy and Pain" is an evocative episode of The Moth podcast, hosted by Kate Tellers. This episode delves into the intricate interplay between two of life's most profound emotions—joy and pain—through the compelling personal narratives of two storytellers, Becky Feldman and Adrienne McGillis. The episode explores how these seemingly opposite experiences can intertwine, shaping individuals' lives in unexpected ways.
Exploring Joy Amidst Pain: Becky Feldman's Story
[02:49]
Becky Feldman, a Los Angeles-based writer and actor, shares her poignant journey grappling with vestibulodynia—a condition characterized by nerve pain in the vaginal vestibule. Her narrative begins in her college years, where she confronts the excruciating pain during sexual intercourse, leading to deep emotional turmoil.
Struggle with Intimacy Feldman candidly describes her attempts to mask the pain, saying, "I used to try and just like, grin and bear it and just push through the pain," eventually resulting in embarrassment and the cessation of her romantic endeavors in her early twenties. This withdrawal led to feelings of being "broken" and "frigid," isolating her from intimate relationships.
A Turning Point In her thirties, a moment of introspection sparked by noticing the untouched side of her bed propelled her to seek help. Determined to reclaim her ability to experience intimacy, Feldman embarked on a path of healing, consulting specialists in female sexual dysfunction.
An Unexpected Encounter Desiring a pressure-free reconnection with intimacy, Feldman decided to hire a high-class escort for a non-traditional first experience. She recounts her anxiety leading up to the encounter: "I was like, freaking out about everything... worrying about how I would pay the escort."
Transformation Through Connection During the meeting, Feldman opened up about her condition instead of defaulting to excuses. This honesty led to a surprising and supportive response from the escort, who, as a physical therapy assistant, provided genuine understanding and assistance. Feldman reflects, "Out of all of the partners that I've had it was this escort, this two-hour long fake boyfriend who was the one who tried to like validate my pain."
Empowerment and Renewal This pivotal interaction not only alleviated her physical pain but also restored her confidence in forming intimate relationships. Feldman concludes with a heartfelt thanks: "Thank you for your awesomeness," highlighting the profound impact of compassionate connection in her healing process.
The Duality of Laughter: Adrienne McGillis' Story
[12:00]
Adrienne McGillis, an architect from Columbia, South Carolina, recounts a bittersweet memory involving her father—a professor of immunology who recently passed away on Christmas Day, 2024. Her story, shared at an Asheville story slam, underscores the sometimes thin line between joy and unexpected pain.
A Family's Laughter At the heart of McGillis' narrative is a seemingly innocent joke told by her younger brother. Attempting to impress their father, the brother draws a crude, humorous depiction of a joke involving two stick figures and an innuendo. McGillis describes the scene: "my dad starts laughing so hard he was crying, and all of a sudden he fell out of his chair onto the kitchen floor."
Immediate Crisis The family's immediate reaction is one of panic as her mother, a nurse, prepares to administer CPR. McGillis recalls dialing emergency services, only for her father to miraculously regain consciousness, bewildered by his sudden collapse.
Medical Uncertainty Subsequent medical evaluations reveal no physical ailments. However, the joke's effect is so potent that it induces a similar reaction repeatedly, baffling doctors. McGillis poignantly shares, "they think everything's okay," highlighting the mysterious connection between intense laughter and physical collapse.
Final Understanding After multiple incidents, the medical advice is clear: cease telling the joke. This revelation leads to the family's mutual decision to retire the joke, recognizing that while laughter is healing, excessive merriment can have unforeseen consequences. McGillis encapsulates the moral of her story: "while laughter is the best medicine, sometimes too much of a good thing can kill you."
Legacy of Laughter In the wake of her father's passing, McGillis reflects on the joyous moments they shared, particularly the laughter that brought both happiness and unforeseen challenges. She shares that her father cherished the story, often replaying it to amuse others, further cementing the lasting impact of joyful memories intertwined with life's fragilities.
Insights and Reflections
Interconnectedness of Emotions "Joy and Pain" masterfully illustrates how deeply intertwined positive and negative emotions can be. Both Feldman’s and McGillis' stories reveal that experiences of joy are often punctuated by elements of pain, and vice versa. This duality underscores the complexity of human emotions and the resilience required to navigate them.
Healing Through Vulnerability Becky Feldman's openness about her condition and her willingness to seek unconventional solutions highlight the importance of vulnerability in the healing process. Her story emphasizes that embracing one's pain can lead to profound personal growth and renewed connections.
The Power and Peril of Laughter Adrienne McGillis' tale serves as a poignant reminder of laughter's potent impact. While it can foster deep bonds and joyous memories, it also carries the potential for unexpected consequences, illustrating the delicate balance between exuberant joy and its possible repercussions.
Conclusion "Joy and Pain" is a compelling exploration of how life's most intense emotions coexist and shape our experiences. Through heartfelt storytelling, The Moth invites listeners to reflect on their own journeys, recognizing that joy and pain are often two sides of the same coin, each enriching the tapestry of human existence.
Additional Information Kate Tellers, the episode's host, is a Senior Director at The Moth and co-author of their fourth book, How to Tell a Story. The episode was produced by Sarah Austin, Janess, Sarah Jane Johnson, and Mark Solinger, with contributions from the broader Moth leadership team. For more stories and to share your own, visit themoth.org.