The Moth Radio Hour: Brains, Beauty, and Brawn — Stories of Girlhood

Released May 7, 2019

Introduction

In this poignant episode of The Moth Radio Hour titled "Brains, Beauty, and Brawn: Stories of Girlhood," host Sarah Austin Janess curates a compelling collection of five heartfelt narratives, each delving into the multifaceted experiences of girlhood. Filmed live at The Moth’s inaugural main stage event in Nairobi, Kenya, this episode celebrates the resilience, strength, and vulnerability of young women from diverse backgrounds. The stories explore themes such as body image, athleticism, sexual identity, and the complex relationships between daughters and fathers. Through personal anecdotes and emotional journeys, listeners are invited to empathize with and reflect on the universal challenges of growing up female.

1. Sandra Kimokochi: Embracing Strength and Athleticism

Timestamp: 06:03 - 13:49

Sandra Kimokochi shares her lifelong struggle with body image and societal expectations of femininity. From a young age, Sandra felt conflicted about her athleticism. At ten years old, while playing basketball with her brothers, she faced criticism for her muscular physique:

"Who told you girls with muscles are beautiful? Strike one." ([07:15])

This early incident left Sandra grappling with self-acceptance, balancing her passion for sports with societal pressures to conform to traditional feminine ideals. Her journey through high school and university in the United States was marked by a constant tug-of-war between embracing her athletic abilities and managing her body image.

Sandra's turning point came when she discovered rugby, a sport that allowed her to celebrate her strength without focusing on appearance. Despite her growing athletic prowess, she struggled internally with how her muscularity was perceived. After intense self-reflection and realizing the self-sabotage in her training regimen to fit an idealized thinness, Sandra committed to being the best rugby player she could be, regardless of societal standards.

"I was finally ready to just go out there and be the best rugby player that my body would allow me to be." ([12:50])

Though Sandra has since retired from competitive rugby, she remains a "self-professed gym warrior" and a strategy consultant in Nairobi. She notes a positive shift in Kenya, with more women embracing physical strength through increased participation in gyms and rugby teams.

2. Shirou (Wanjiru Kibera): Conquering Mountains, Both Literal and Figurative

Timestamp: 15:33 - 21:01

Shirou Kubera recounts a transformative experience during a high school trip to Mount Kenya. Battling asthma and previous physical limitations, Shirou embarked on a grueling three-day journey aimed at teaching endurance and courage. The ascent to Point Lenana, the mountain's third-highest peak, became a metaphor for her personal struggles.

During the night ascent, Shirou got lost and experienced a severe asthma attack. Feeling alone and overwhelmed, she contemplated giving up until an unexpected encounter with a compassionate guide changed everything. The guide’s unwavering support and encouragement helped her reach the summit, where she witnessed a breathtaking sunrise.

"This lesson isn't about exams. It's not about success. It's a lesson in life." ([19:30])

This experience taught Shirou that even in her darkest moments, she was not truly alone. The story emphasizes the importance of support systems and the impact of human kindness in overcoming personal challenges. Shirou continues to draw strength from this lesson, viewing life's mountains as journeys that, while arduous, are surmountable with perseverance and support.

3. Gabrielle Shelton: Forging Her Path in a Male-Dominated Industry

Timestamp: 25:24 - 33:30

Gabrielle Shelton details her arduous journey to becoming a successful welder in New York City, a field traditionally dominated by men. Facing blatant sexism and rejection, Gabrielle's determination never wavered. She recounts numerous instances of discrimination:

"Every single welding shop in Manhattan refused to hire me. It wasn't my youth or my inexperience, they said. It was just simply the fact that I was a girl and they didn't know what to do with a girl welder." ([26:10])

Undeterred, Gabrielle strategically networked, utilizing every opportunity to prove her skills. Her persistence paid off when she secured a position at a theater on Forsyth Street, eventually leading her to open her own custom metal fabrication studio in Brooklyn and a restaurant in Los Angeles adorned with her metalwork.

"I'm happy to report that there are a lot more women welders out there today. I've trained many women and offered apprenticeships to every woman who's come to me looking for employment or experience." ([31:34])

Gabrielle's story is a testament to breaking barriers and empowering other women to pursue careers in STEM fields. Her narrative highlights the importance of perseverance, self-belief, and the impact one individual can have in transforming an industry's landscape.

4. Catherine Smyka: Navigating Sexual Identity and Friendship

Timestamp: 33:54 - 39:44

Catherine Smyka presents a deeply personal story about her friendship with Scott and her journey in understanding her sexual identity. Initially identifying as a lesbian, Catherine never intended to develop romantic feelings for her male best friend. Their bond was built on shared interests and emotional intimacy, leading Catherine to confront unexpected emotions.

"It's the realization that I thought I liked women and Scott and scared the shit out of me." ([38:10])

Catherine explores the internal conflict of reconciling her self-identity with emerging feelings, ultimately choosing to preserve the unique and profound friendship she shares with Scott. Their relationship evolves, affirming that their connection doesn't need to fit conventional romantic frameworks to be meaningful and fulfilling.

"Sometimes the best kinds of intentions are formed from the strongest kinds of love." ([39:30])

This narrative underscores the complexities of sexual identity and the value of authentic relationships beyond societal labels.

5. Crystal Brown: Bridging Generations Through Dance and Personal History

Timestamp: 41:20 - 53:30

Crystal Brown offers an evocative portrayal of her relationship with her father, a Vietnam War veteran who became disabled due to a landmine incident. Despite his physical limitations, Crystal's father remained a passionate and athletic individual, traits that Crystal inherited and expressed through dance.

From childhood, Crystal sought her father’s approval and attention through various athletic endeavors, including ballet and track. However, their relationship was strained by his inability to fully engage with her interests. A pivotal moment occurs during her high school cotillion, where Crystal dances with her father despite his discomfort and physical challenges.

"In that moment, I saw the guy that my mom fell in love with. That night at that party, I saw someone I had never seen before, but it was still my dad." ([47:55])

Through this interaction, Crystal experiences a profound connection, bridging the emotional distance between them. The narrative beautifully illustrates how shared experiences and overcoming personal barriers can foster deeper understanding and affection.

"I get to dance for audiences like you all over the world. I get to step on stage and feel that same adrenaline that he felt." ([51:57])

Crystal's story highlights themes of legacy, reconciliation, and the enduring bonds between parents and children, emphasizing how personal histories shape our identities and relationships.

Conclusion

"The Moth Radio Hour: Brains, Beauty, and Brawn: Stories of Girlhood" encapsulates the diverse and intricate experiences of young women navigating the complexities of growing up female. From challenging societal norms and overcoming personal struggles to redefining friendships and familial bonds, each story contributes to a richer understanding of womanhood. The narratives collectively celebrate resilience, self-discovery, and the unyielding spirit of girls striving to carve their own paths in a world filled with expectations and obstacles.

Listeners are left with a profound appreciation for the power of storytelling in illuminating the nuanced journeys of women and girls, reinforcing the importance of empathy, support, and the courage to embrace one's true self.

Notable Moments and Quotes

• Sandra Kimokochi on Body Image:

  "Who told you girls with muscles are beautiful?" ([07:15])

• Shirou Kubera on Life Lessons:

  "This lesson isn't about exams. It's not about success. It's a lesson in life." ([19:30])

• Gabrielle Shelton on Breaking Barriers:

  "I'm happy to report that there are a lot more women welders out there today." ([31:34])

• Catherine Smyka on Friendship and Identity:

  "Sometimes the best kinds of intentions are formed from the strongest kinds of love." ([39:30])

• Crystal Brown on Connecting Generations:

  "I get to step on stage and feel that same adrenaline that he felt." ([51:57])

Additional Resources

• To view photos of Sandra Kimokochi and Margaret Kenyatta: themoth.org
• Explore the "Women and Girls" playlist: themoth.org
• Watch video stories on The Moth’s YouTube channel: The Moth YouTube

Get Involved

If these stories resonate with you, The Moth invites you to share your own:

• Record Your Story: Visit themoth.org or call 877-799-MOTH (877-799-6684).
• Participate in Live Events: Join storytelling events worldwide or virtually.

Acknowledgments

This episode was produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts, with support from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation for the Moth's Global Community Program. Special thanks to the storytellers and supporting staff who bring these powerful narratives to life.