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- [00:01]
Courtney J. Renee
Truth or dare? How about both? This fall, the Moth is challenging what it means to be daring. We're not just talking about jumping out of airplanes or quitting your job. We're talking about the quiet courage to be vulnerable, the bold decisions to reveal the secret that changed everything. This fall, the Moth Main Stage season brings our most power powerful stories to live audiences in 16 cities across the globe. Every one of those evenings will explore the singular theme of daring, but the stories and their tellers will never be the same. So here's our dare to you experience the Moth Main stage live. Find a city near you@themost.org daring. Come on, we dare you.
- [00:55]
Wayfair/Smile Generation Ad Speaker
When the weather cools down and the days get shorter, I just want to make my home feel extra cozy. And Wayfair gets it. I recently picked up a great comfy armchair to read in, some soft new sheets and a fluffy throw blanket. So I'm ready for the fall. Wayfair is really the go to spot for everything you need to cozify your space this fall. They have a huge selection of furniture, decor, bedding and even kitchen essentials. Everything's curated by style, with options for every budget. My delivery was quick, free and totally hassle free, which made setting up my cozy corner a breeze. Whether you're looking to refresh your living room, stock your kitchen for fall cooking, or just add a few seasonal touches, Wayfair has you covered. Cozify your space with Wayfair's curated collection of easy, affordable fall updates. From comfy recliners to cozy bedding and autumn decor. Find it all for way less@wayfair.com that's W a Y-F-A-I-R.com Wayfair Every style, every Home what does a confident smile say to you? And maybe more importantly, what does it say about you? With Smile Generation? It says you're taking care of more than just your teeth. Because confidence doesn't just start and stop at a bright smile. It's about your whole body wellness. Because oral health issues have been linked to heart disease, diabetes, and even cognitive conditions, when you care for your smile, you're investing in your future. With Smile Generation trusted providers, you're not just another patient, you're a partner. Smile Generation empowers you to understand the connection between your mouth and your overall health so you can stop issues before they start. Here's your chance to take the first step. Smile Generation is offering a $59 new patient special that's a comprehensive exam, cleaning and x rays, A$290 value new patients only offer not valid for Tricare or Medicare Advantage may be covered by insurance, subject to plan restrictions. Book by December 31, 2025. Visit smilegeneration.com moth for full terms and to book.
- [03:10]
Sarah Austin
This is the Moth Radio Hour. I'm Sarah Austin. Janess, you've heard the term clean break. It's a full and complete separation from a relationship, a situation or even a bone. If the ending is clean and absolute, it's supposed to be a good thing. The idea is that it will heal better, you'll move on sooner. There's no residue in my life. Clean breaks have been rare, and I'll tell you more about that later. But we did manage to find five stories today, from Texas to the Kenyan countryside that explore this idea from different angles. Our first story sets the stage for healthy endings done right. Teresa Wiggins told this at an open mic Moth Story Slam in Boston, where we partner with public radio station WBUR. Here's Teresa.
- [04:08]
Teresa Wiggins
I was in sixth grade and about 22 hours into a relationship with Joey Nichols when I realized that our values would no longer align. Joey was this tall, sort of goofy, loud kid who everybody loved, and he was so kind to everybody. And I was shy and anxious and I really wanted to fit in and mostly wanted to be a good girl. But I knew Joey liked me because he talked to me in gym class. He was like, hey, Theresa, what's up? And I was like, nothing. So things were in motion. And he sent word to his friends, who sent word to my friends, who sent word to me that he wanted to go out with me. My friends pressed me. They were like, do you like him or do you like, like, like him? And I was like, I think I might like, like him. So we sent word back, and the next thing I knew, he's in front of me in the hallway and my girlfriends are in this, like, situation, semicircle behind me. And he's like, teresa, will you go out with me? And I was like, okay. It was exhilarating. I was somebody's girlfriend. And that Exhilaration lasted for 1.7 seconds because exactly after that I felt an intense urge to dry heave because I was somebody's girlfriend and did I have to talk to him? So the duration of this relationship, I waffled between exhilaration and nausea, which brings me to the 22nd and final hour of this partnership. And I was in sweet miss Kaposchkin's art class, and she is at the chalkboard, yes, chalk. And she was teaching a room full of sixth graders about perspective, line drawing. And I'm on one side of the room and Joey's on the other side of the room, and my eyes are on the board. Suddenly there's a loud noise from where Joey's sitting. And everyone turns and looks and he is cracking up with his friend. And it disrupts class. She gets it back under control, but it happens again, and it happens again. And that's when I know. I have this feeling in my gut that this is not a partnership that can stand the test of time. So I rip out a piece of notebook paper and I write him a note. And I said, hey, Joey, what's up? I'm sorry, but we need to break up. And I fold it up and I send it across the room. And he unfolds it and he looks over at me with the saddest eyes and he writes back. And when it reaches me, I read it and it says two words. And he says, but why? So I write him back, super honest. And I said, because you fool around too much in class. Fold it back up, send it. He reads it, he writes back. And he says, I'm sorry. I can change dot, dot, dot for you. And this wave of knowledge runs through my body, and I know so clearly what I need to communicate to him. And I write, joey, no in all caps with like seven exclamation points. And then I write, never change for anyone. And I underlined that like three times. And I said, you just be you. And I send it back across the room, and he reads it and he looks up and he gives me this gentle smile, and I smile back. And to this day, it is the cleanest, most mature breakup I have ever had.
- [07:37]
Sarah Austin
That was Theresa Wiggins. Teresa is the co founder of Redwood speaker, where she helps people shape their own stories. But she says her most prized roles are as wife to her husband, Frank, and mother to her three teenagers. To see a photo of Teresa from the year in elementary school that she had this clean break, go to our radio extras page@themost.org our next story comes from Adele Onyengo. We met Adele through our global storytelling workshops. She's hosted many moth shows for us in Nairobi, Kenya. But this time she came to New York to join us at our annual main stage with Greenwood Cemetery and share the story. Outside on stage, as the sun was setting. Live at the Moth, here's Adele Onyengo.
- [08:35]
Adele Onyengo
It's Christmas Eve in my home in Nairobi, Kenya, and something strange is happening. Mommy's in the kitchen cooking. I watch her open the oven and garnish the chicken with Rosemary in shock because all year round this is the only time she gets into the kitchen. It's part of our Christmas tradition that involves overeating and over decorated Christmas Christmas trees. I still remember mommy, my sisters and I sitting around the table full of food, cackling, opening gifts. This tradition felt good. It felt like home. After mommy died, my sisters and I desperately tried to keep the tradition going. We would buy gifts over, decorate the Christmas tree and have tons of food, including chicken, Rosemary chicken. But no matter how hard we tried, it never felt right without her. I had to hold on to these traditions because I couldn't face the pain of mommy's death. So I kept the traditions going and seven years later added another tradition. I got married. I married a man from a completely different culture. And I remember on our third date laying down my deal breakers. Listen, all Christmases are going to be spent with my family and if you don't like it, leave now. I was very outspoken, I had loud feminist takes and I was a media personality well known for speaking out and speaking my mind. Nothing traditional about me. We started our life and come Christmas, I'd have the gifts ready by October, decorations out by November. But there was one flaw in my plan. Our apartment. I hated it. I'd drive home from work and turn onto the pothole riddled road and I just regret living there. I'd park my car, climb up the staircase to our unit and it had these dark, dirty gray walls and I'd just get enraged. And whenever I'd walk into our apartment, it never felt like home. Our first Christmas was wonderful. Our second one too. But by the third, it wasn't just our apartment that didn't feel like home, but also my marriage. It was becoming very clear that the wife my husband wanted was nothing like me. And I remember one night we were in bed after one of our many arguments and he said, you refused to give me the three things that make a marriage. You don't want to give me a child, you wouldn't take my surname, and you've stopped wearing your ring. I remember feeling like, well, he's right, I'm definitely not that traditional woman. But I was so exhausted and all I could whisper was, I can't do this anymore, I can't do us anymore. My marriage was over. And the divorce wasn't those amicable ones that you see in the movies. Mine was drenched in drama with family calling and saying, well, if he didn't hit you, why are you leaving? And I remember another family member Saying, you will never find another man more devoted to you than your husband. It was the hardest time. I wasn't sleeping. I'd stopped eating much, so I lost so much weight, and I looked so frail. And because of my work that involves small talk, smiles, performances, being in front of crowds, I was losing energy. And the little that I had needed to take me through my therapy sessions and meetings with lawyers. I had never lived alone. I went from living with mommy and my sisters to just my sisters after Mommy died, to my partner after we got married. And so this new chapter was exciting, but I was also quite anxious. So I began looking for an apartment. And my only requirement was I needed a garden. And my best friend took me for all my visits. But nobody prepares you for just how hard it is to find a home. I remember the first unit we saw had ceilings so low, I felt like a giant in a hobbit's house. There was another unit that had one natural light source for the entire house. And there was another unit that our agent took me to, and it had numerous bedrooms, about five. And when I reminded the agent that, hey, it's only going to be me living here, he said, well, no worries. When you have kids, you have space. And I kept wondering, why does everybody want me to be this traditional woman? Even this stranger? The last unit that we viewed in Nairobi was an apartment that had this strange staircase where each stair was a different size. And as we hobbled back down the strange staircase to the car, I said, maybe I'm not meant to live in Nairobi. And I immediately thought of a place I'd go to whenever I'd get so stressed in my marriage. It's a little town out of Nairobi called Limuru. It's known for its tea farms and its flower farms as well. So all its hills are full of thick green carpets of tea and these little greenhouses full of flowers. And I'd always drive there and get calm and dream about living there. So in this moment, I thought, I want to live in Limuru. So one Thursday morning, I had two options. Either see another apartment in the same neighborhood with a strange staircase, or take the nature riddle drive out to Limuru. I chose the latter. And so I got into my car and my fear was increasing as I kept looking down at my GPS and seeing just how far this place is. And then I got to a point where I went up a hill, and in front of me were these acres of green tea. And in my rear view mirror, I could see the skyline of Nairobi behind me. And in that moment I danced between this is so beautiful to this is a terrible idea to I can't wait to take walks in the tea farms.
- [15:21]
Courtney J. Renee
To this place is really far.
- [15:25]
Adele Onyengo
And then I went up another hill to the house. And it was love at first sight. We walked into the front room. It had a front room through this charming half wooden door that is terrible for security, but just so beautiful for aesthetics. And then we walked into the living room that had these beautiful wooden floors and this big fireplace, just like my childhood home. And we walked into the kitchen. Now, as someone who doesn't cook, I immediately thought of changing my ways because. Because it was so spacious. And then we went to my favorite part of the house, the main bedroom. My bedroom. It had the same wooden floors and old white windows positioned just right so that the sunrise would meet you at the foot of your bed. And its bathroom was bigger than the bedroom I had in my apartment in Nairobi and the compound. The house is sandwiched between two tea farms. It's got yards of garden space, it's got a flower garden, it's got a kitchen garden, and at the back, this huge avocado tree. I loved the house immediately. But what really sold me was as I was walking through this house with complete strangers because my best friend didn't come with me to Limuru on that day. No family members, no loving husband, as I thought my happily ever after would be like, I still felt at home. It's like all the fear and the loneliness had vanished, like we had left them at the wooden door. And so I began my move to Limuru. And the morning the movers arrived at the apartment, I was so happy. I couldn't believe that these. These were my last few minutes in this horrible house. And I walked through each empty room, releasing any hopes I had for this home, releasing any hopes I had for my marriage. And then I took my very many plants as a plant mom, put them in my car, and drove right out, leading the huge moving track to Limuru. When we got there, as the movers were packing my stuff in my new home, one of them asked, which means you're going to live in this house alone as a woman? And I told him, yeah, why not? Putting on a brave face. But inside, I was terrified. I was a divorced African woman in her 30s living in a new town, in a new house, all alone. My number one fear was collapsing in this house and not being discovered for three days. And so I gave a set of my keys to my best friend for safety. But as I settled down into My new house. One thing was scaring me. Christmas. I was panicking because I knew I needed to find a new tradition. So October came around and I hadn't bought gifts. November came around and no decorations were up. Then December came and I felt like closing my eyes and just opening them up and finding myself on 31st. And on Christmas week, I was driving back home, I parked my car and I got to my charming wooden door and something hit the top of my head. And I looked up and it was a Christmas wreath. And I thought, do I have a stalker? And then I opened the door and walked into the front room and there was an over decorated Christmas tree and even more decorations in a bag, including three stockings. And I thought, what a thoughtful stalker. It turns out it was my best friend who had orchestrated this surprise. And I called him and I was tearing up and I was so happy. And for the next hour, I showed him how I was decorating my house. And I was nailing the stockings to the fireplace using high heels because I didn't have a hammer. It felt so good, like Christmas had come full circle. And on Christmas morning, I woke up to the sunrise at the foot of my bed, to the sounds of the birds chirping. And I went to the kitchen and I started to make chicken. Not rosemary chicken, but honey glazed chicken, which is my favorite. And then later that day, I was putting the food onto the table as I was waiting for my best friend to arrive. My favorite artist, Hugh Masakela, was playing in the background. And I felt an overwhelming feeling of happiness, of joy, of peace, of calm. And then it hits me. That's what I loved about mommy's traditions, the feelings. It didn't matter that I was divorced. It didn't matter that I didn't have kids. What mattered was the feelings. That was the best Christmas I had since mommy died. And I think it's because I finally felt at home. I finally had my own tradition. Thank you.
- [20:59]
Sarah Austin
That was Adele Onyengo. Adele is still loving living in Limuru. She started farming and she's planted rosemary bushes in her backyard to remove her mom. She's been recognized as one of the top 50 women in Africa by African policy, BBC's 100 women and top 100 Kenyans. Adele's move was definitely a break from tradition. She says, quote, divorce in Kenya is still not seen as normal. A woman living alone, especially in the rural context, is quite rare. You can see photos of Adele in her backyard farm in Limuru. And happy as can be@themoth.org in just a moment. Two stories of physical breaks. But don't worry, they're the funny kind when the Moth Radio Hour Continues.
- [22:01]
Eric Heen
The.
- [22:01]
Jay Allison
Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole Mountain, Massachusetts.
- [22:11]
Alma/Bombas Ad Speaker
Today's show is sponsored by alma. I know I'm not the only one who turns to the Internet when I'm struggling. It feels like there are so many answers from how to learn the ukulele to how to improve my mental health. But what I've come to realize is that while I can use the Internet to strum a stunted version of La vie en Rose, when it comes to taking care of my mind, there's no replacement for real human relationships. But even finding a therapist can feel like an inevitable online black hole. That's why I'm so happy to share that Alma makes it easy to connect with an experienced therapist, a real person who can listen, understand and support you through your specific challenges. You don't have to be stuck with the first available person. Trust me, it's important to find someone you click with. They can be nice, they can be smart, they can let you bring your Chihuahua. True story. But they also have to be someone who really gets you. Uniquely, when you browse alma's online directory, you can filter by the qualities that matter to you, then book free 15 minute consultations with the therapists you're interested in seeing. This way you can find someone you connect with on a personal level and see real improvements in your mental health with their support. Better with people, better with Alma. Visit helloalma.commoth to get started and schedule a free consultation today. That's hello a l m a dot com MOTH if you haven't heard me.
- [23:37]
Sarah Austin
Talk about grooms before, they're a convenient, comprehensive formula packed into a snack pack of gummies a day. This isn't a multivitamin, a greens gummy or a prebiotic. It's all of those and then some at a fraction of the price. And bonus, it tastes great. It's my daily snack pack of gummies. Because you can't fit the amount of nutrients Gruins does into just one gummy plus, it makes a fun treatment. Gruins ingredients are backed by over 35,000 research publications and they include 6 grams of prebiotic fiber and Gruyn's just launched a limited time flavor Gruni Smith Apple for the fall. They taste just like sweet tart green apple candy. These Gruny Smith Apple flavored gummies have the same full body benefits you know and love, but this time they taste like you're walking through an apple orchard in a cable knit sweater, warm apple cider in hand. Grab your limited edition Groony Smith Apple Groons, available only through October. Stock up because they will sell out. Get up to 52% off. Use code MOTH Fall's here.
- [24:37]
Alma/Bombas Ad Speaker
Kids are back in school. It's officially the start of cozy season, which means it's time to slide into the most comfortable socks and slippers, tees and underwear out there from my beloved Bombas. They're made from premium materials that actually make sense for this time of year. They're so soft. Think merino and rag wools, luxurious Supima cotton. And you can order them from over 200 countries around the world. I make it a point to shop my values, so I love that for every item I buy, Bombas donates one to someone experiencing homelessness. Over 150 million items have been donated thanks to customers like us. And the quality's so good, I'm not buying one pair of socks for one fall. These are socks that take me fall to fall. Nothing disposable in my sock drawer. Head over to bombas.com moth and use code moth for 20% off your first purchase. That's B O M B-A-S.com moth code moth at checkout.
- [25:41]
Sarah Austin
This is the Moth Radio Hour. I'm Sarah Austin Janess, and this episode features endings. The good kind. Our next story is from Eric Heen in Houston, Texas. He told it on stage at an open mic story slam where we partner with Houston Public Media. Here's Eric live at the mall.
- [26:03]
Eric Heen
When I was a little kid, I had this elderly great aunt and we all called her Babushka. And I hated going to Babushka's house because she made me work in her garden and my only reward would be an orange crush. One day my mom dropped me off there and Baboushka dragged me to the garden. But I had recently learned of this special maneuver where you could stick your finger down your throat and with the end result, you could often get out of your obligations. So I crept down there between the corn stalks and I performed this maneuver. I said, baboushka, come here. So look at this. And Babushka comes and she looks and it worked. She said, oh my. She brings me into the house, tells me to lay down on the couch. She goes out to work in the garden and I run to the fridge for an orange crush. Well, I couldn't find a bottle opener, but I recalled watching my uncle. He could take a solid object and pry it over his finger and pop open a beer bottle that way. So I looked around, and I saw on the shelf there. There's this row of little statues. I picked one up, and I looked and I read at the base there. It said St. Joseph of Corpettino. So he looked pretty sturdy at the time. I sat down in a dining room chair and I propped his feet up against the bottle. And I cranked down really hard. But the bottle cap came off easier than I thought. The statue slammed down on the armrest. It broke the guy's head off and went rolling to the floor. So I'm looking at this severed head. I'm pretty sure I'm going to hell over this. Because not only have I beheaded a saint, but I had done so while trying to access stolen merchandise. So I picked him up. There was chunks broken off his head, part of his cheekbones, his beard. So I went to look for some. I found some in a little glass bottle. I thought it was glue, but I was using it. It didn't have good adhesive qualities. I think it might have been nail polish. So when I got done, looked at, the guy looked like he had the crap beat out him. He had these big chunks were slipping and sliding on his head. He looked like a Picasso painting. So. So I nestled him into the back row of statues. And I went back to the garden. I never worked so hard in my life. That afternoon, my mom picked me up. She brought me home. I said, mom, I said, you know, just for an example, if someone were to, say, damage a religious artifact would. Did the wrath of God fall upon the person who damaged the artifact or on the person who owned the artifact? My mom said, how should I know? We're Lutherans. So I went to my friend Vince's house. Now, Vince was a Catholic. I was allowed one Catholic friend.
- [29:40]
Safiya Ibrahim
And it was.
- [29:43]
Eric Heen
I told Vince what I had done. He said, Dude, St. Joseph is Jesus's dad. I said, wait a minute, Vince. I said, God is Jesus's dad? He said, no. Vince says, no. He said, St. Joseph is the earthly dad. The guy at the manger. So I go home. I'm freaking out now. I just disfigured Jesus dad. I couldn't sleep that night. Couldn't sleep for weeks. I have this nightmare about this special place in hell reserved for kids who decaf. Decapitate holy figurines. But then the weeks went by, and nothing really bad happened. And the weeks turned to months, and everything was okay. Then it was a year. There's no great apocalypse. Ultimately, Babushka lived A long and happy life. And I forgot all about this St. Joseph issue until years later. I was in college. I was doing this paper on the Catholic Church of medieval times. And I'm doing some research there. In the book, there's a list of Saints and there's St. Joseph and there's St. Joseph of Corpetino. Two Josephs opened up a whole new can of worms. All those years, I thought I'd beheaded the regular Saint Joe's, but it was the Corpetino guy. So I read about him. Said St. Joseph of Corpetino is the patron saint who ensures that his followers at the end of their life will experience a peaceful death. I called my mother. I said, mom, how did Babushka die? She said, peacefully in her sleep. Now, the way I see this thing, this could go either way. But if I might be destined for an agonizing death, then shouldn't it be for something a bit more significant than an orange crush?
- [32:45]
Sarah Austin
That was Eric Keen. Eric is a retired federal investigator living in Houston, Texas. He now spends his time organic farming, beekeeping and writing stories. As for me, I've almost never had a clean break. I think this is why I love. I love these stories. How do people do it? I've never broken a bone. Knock wood. My parents divorced and then remarried each other. Come on. I grew up always thinking, maybe the story isn't done yet. Maybe the story will have another chapter sometime in the future. Who knows? I like the idea of a clean break, it seems, evolved. So in that spirit, here's our next story. Courtney J. Renee took the stage looking fabulous in a black velvet jumpsuit with rhinestones for a moth mainstage called Only in New York. The special night was a collaboration with radio partners WNYC to celebrate their centennial. Here's Courtney J. Renee live at the Moth.
- [34:04]
Courtney J. Renee
So, as you can tell, I'm a city girl and I embody everything that that means. I'm beautiful, stylish, charming, and outside. I'm a party girl. I love a good time. I love a good vibe. I bring the good vibes. So one Friday afternoon, I'm home, surprisingly.
- [34:26]
Sarah Austin
And.
- [34:28]
Courtney J. Renee
My best friend, she phones me, and she's like, with hype and excitement in her voice. And she's like, there's this party at this new lounge in Queens, and this guy Malcolm that I was crushing on, she's like, he's hosting the party. We should go. So let me give some backstory on my bestie. So she. Two peas in the pod. She's like, the hype to My vibe. So it's like, you know, she's the perfect hype woman, yelling ay, ay. Encouraging all of my shenanigans. So she's like, we should go. It'd be perfect for you to get FaceTime with Malcolm. So I'm like, FaceTime wouldn't be bad. Finding eligible bachelors in New York City is a struggle. So I'm like, okay. So she's like, we should go. I'm like, okay, let's go. So she's like, okay, hurry up and get ready. I'll be to you in an hour. So I'm like, an hour? You know, like I said, I'm a city girl. It takes time and effort to get this cute. You just can't, you know, throw it together in an hour. But, you know, she put the you gonna go see your man Energy in me. So I'm like, okay, I'll get it together in an hour. So we hang up. I hop in the shower. I take the quickest shower ever. I get out the shower, and I'm like, oh, I forgot my towel. Great. But lucky for me, I'm home alone. So I'm like, oh, I'll just do an A1 down the hall to my room, finish getting ready. So I start darting down the hallway, and then, boom. I fall. I'm on my back, legs straight in the air. I look like a Thanksgiving turkey. So I'm like, okay, girl, get it together. You don't got time for this. We gotta hurry up and get ready. So I try to get up, and I can't. So I'm like, hmm. Now confusion is setting in. I'm like, what's going on? So I try to get up again, and I can't. And I'm like, oh, no. I've fallen. And I can't get up. So I'm like, what's going on? So I'm looking, I look down, and I see it. My right ankle is hanging to the left, I know, Resembling nothing that belongs, like, looks like it belongs on a human body. So I'm like, oh, my gosh, I gotta call my bestie. And it's all right. I need more time to get ready for the party. So luckily for me, I'm the part of the generation. We don't go anywhere without our phone. So I have my phone. So I call my best friend, and I'm like, I fell. And my ankle, I don't know, I think it's broken. But I need more time to get ready for the party. So she's like, what? I'm like, I fell. I can't get up. And my ankle, I don't know, it's like, it's broken. But I need more time to get ready for the party. And she's like, bro, your ankle is broken. You have to go to the hospital. And I'm like, oh. And then it hits me. I'm in the middle of a medical emergency. I'm like, oh, my gosh, I gotta call 911. So we get off the phone, I call 911. I'm talking to the sweetest operator. She's keeping me calm, asking me all the basic information, reassuring me everything's going to be okay. She lets me know she's dispatched first responders. I'm like, okay, great. Then she asks me a pivotal question. She's like, are you able to open the door for first responders? If not, they're going to have to break it down. So I'm like, hmm. I'm like, okay. I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'll open the door. Don't worry, I'll open the door. She's like, okay. So we get off the phone. Now I'm in the hallway, wet, naked, in. At a crossroads. So at this point in my life, I'm a broke college student. I don't have re hindra door money. So. So I'm like, I could either scooch this way up the hallway to my room and get closed, or I could scooch this way to the door and open it naked. So I gotta choose between my dignity and my finances. And like a capitalist American, I chose my finances. So I scooch to the door and I wait. I hear two knocks on the door and I open the door. And in first responders fashion, it's the firemen. And these are the beautiful, beautiful as six firemen you've ever seen in your life. They look like they work out 25, 8. Okay. So they come in, they surround me, one hand on the boobs, head down. Before they can say a word. I'm like, please go to the room and get anything for me to put on. So one of them goes to the room, he gets something. He comes back, he's like this. This man has found the raggediest dress that I own. You know the dress you fry chicken in? Yes, that's. So he's like this. So I'm like, beggars can't be choosers. I'm like, okay. So I put the dress on. So now they're doing basic. Ask me basic information. How did I fall? Getting all my information, letting me know everything's going to be okay. They're going to get me out of here. So they lift me up, they put me in the wheelchair, and they're like, okay. They lift up my leg, and then heat just raised, rushes down, and I'm in excruciating pain. I'm screaming. They're like, it's okay. Calm down. I'm gonna get you comfortable. So then one of the firefighters, he's like, well, what hurt more? Opening the door naked or your leg? And I'm like, the door for sure. The door for sure. So they get me in a comfortable position, and we're ready to go. And they're like, are you ready? Do you have everything? I'm like, well, I have my phone, so good to go. So we're about to leave, and I'm like, wait, I'm sorry, I don't have my wig. And they're like, really? And I'm like, listen, ankle twisted, raggedy dress. At least my hair could be on point. So they get the wig, and the hair was on point. But it's safe to say I didn't make it to the party that day, but I did go to the hospital, maintaining my city girl essence. Thank you.
- [41:38]
Sarah Austin
That was Courtney J. Renee. And yes, her ankle was broken, a clean break, and she's all healed now. Courtney is a native of Queens, New York.
- [41:48]
Safiya Ibrahim
She.
- [41:48]
Sarah Austin
She came to the MA through a workshop with our education department at City College. Courtney told us, quote, I now work with young people and social justice, and I live, love, laugh, and learn. Remember how I told you that I don't really have clean breaks? Well, I loved Courtney's story because I dated a firefighter for a while. He used to pick me up in the air and do squats while holding me. Like, every time we met, I gave him a big moth sweatshirt, and he wore it everywhere. He'd always get stopped by listeners who wanted to talk about this show. He was younger than I, and I was fully enamored. But at some point, after a lot of on again, off again, we drifted apart. You know, he had to fight fires, and I had to encourage people to tell personal stories. Both essential jobs, if you ask me. After I heard Courtney's story, I texted him. I thought maybe he was one of the firefighters she mentioned. But no, he joined the FDNY years after the story takes place. He said most people who see first responders are so shaken, they just want a hug. Here's the thing about dating firefighters. It is my firm belief that everyone should do it at some point in their lives. Everyone should. But when the sirens blare and the trucks go by in the big city, which is all the time, it's nearly impossible not to think of them. So much for clean breaks. After this break, a woman is determined to be victorious over a contagious disease. When the Moth Radio Hour Continues.
- [43:44]
Courtney J. Renee
The.
- [43:45]
Jay Allison
Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts.
- [43:52]
Wayfair/Smile Generation Ad Speaker
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- [45:46]
Sarah Austin
You're listening to the Moth Radio Hour. I'm Sarah Austin. Janess Safia Ibrahim is our final storyteller in this from time to time, we produce custom storytelling shows that dive deep into a theme to humanize an issue that may feel foreign to some. Safiya Ibrahim told this story on stage at one of those private events during the UN General assembly for a night that drew attention to polio. She told it in front of ambassadors and changemakers in hopes that personal stories may help us come together to eradicate this disease. With that, here's Safiya Live at the Mall.
- [46:32]
Safiya Ibrahim
I remember when I was six years old, I would wake up every morning and crawl out of bed and go to the bathroom to comb my hair and brush my teeth. I would then crawl to the front steps of my grandmother's house and watch my peers as they walk to school with a thermos in hand and a backpack on their backs. I wanted to go to school too, but I contracted polio at the age of one and I was left out of school. One day I saw two girls playing a childhood game of hopscotch. I wanted to play, so I crawled up to them and said, may I please join you? One of them looked at me with a laugh and said, how are you going to hop when you cannot even stand? Not even knowing what I was doing, I immediately grabbed that girl by the leg and and dragged her down to my level. Next thing I knew, I was pulling punches while another girl was pulling my hair. Luckily, my aunt was visiting and she saw what was happening and plucked me out of the dust and threw me over her shoulder. She took me back to my grandmother's house and my grandmother, when she opened the door, she said, what does she do now? Because back then I was known as a rebel. That was the day my grandmother decided that I was going to have to learn to walk if I was going to continue fighting with other children. Using the wall and furniture, and with my grandmother's reassurance and confidence in me, I myself gained confidence in my new ability. But walking also came with falling with new challenges, and that included falling. Every time I stood up, I fell down. But then I got back up again. Then I stood up. Then I fell back down again. Eventually my legs were strong enough for me to walk to the corner store to fetch oil and rice for my grandmother, just like the other children in my neighborhood did for their parents. Two years later, the civil war in Somalia broke out and my family and I immigrated to Canada for the first Time I was able to see a doctor about my diagnosis and he gave me two braces that reached up to my thighs and crutches for support. Most importantly, this is the time when I started going to school as well. This is the time I first felt ordinary because that's all I wanted to be growing up. I graduated from elementary school, graduated from high school, and I even went to college. I was starting to feel ordinary once more. At that point I decided the next thing to do would be to get married. I fell in love and got married and I got pregnant. I went to go see my doctor and she told me to be careful because I was high risk. A couple months later, as I was coming home from work, driving my car, I went down to the garage, I parked my car and I walked to the elevator. As I was walking, the crutches I was given for for support slid and I fell front forward onto the cold cement floor. I was 27 weeks and five days pregnant. I felt sharp, strong pain travel down my stomach to my pelvis and to my back. But what was more concerning to me was I didn't know how I was going to get back up. Using my crutches once more, I was able to stand up, went into the elevator, got to my apartment, took a shower and went to bed. The next morning I woke up with cramps. Very strong, dull cramps. I immediately called my doctor and she told me to go to the emergency room. I went to the emergency room, but then I was sent to the labor and delivery ward. They did an X ray and I sat in a room waiting for the doctor to come. I waited and waited and waited. Eventually he showed up with his head down, looking at the ground. He said, safiya, unfortunately we were not able to detect a viable heartbeat. You will need to be induced today. I was in disbelief. I mean, just last week my friends threw me a baby shower and they gave me bottles, baby blankets and a nursing pillow. I was looking forward to raising my son, playing with my son, even vaccinating my son so he could have an ordinary life, just as I imagined it to be. The next day I went home. I cried. I was angry. How could polio come back and take something that was precious to me just like that? Because my whole life I have been fighting polio and I have been beating polio. But this time it felt like polio got me. But then I realized I'm not the type of person that focuses on what ifs. I'm the type of person that focuses on what could be I decided that I could get pregnant again and I will have another child. Within months, I was pregnant, this time with a baby girl. I took every precaution possible. I went on early maternity leave. I stayed home in the winter months and waited for my daughter to come into the world. In the summer of 2008, my daughter introduced herself to the world with the loudest cry I have ever heard in my life. Couple years after that, two years after that, I had another daughter, then a son. Now I'm a mother of three. Just recently, I was at the store with my son at the cash register and I fell. Actually, I fell down and I said really loudly, wait, it's okay, I'm fine. I always fall. But then I get back up and my son looked back and I said, hey, don't you think I'm getting the hang of this? I'm okay. I don't think I fall as much as I used to anymore. My son looked at me with a mischievous smile and he said, mom, you just fell in January, February, March, April. But then I realized polio doesn't really affect our family because we're just used to me falling. And I was like, okay, so this is our ordinary. And then I realized, because at that point, that I defeated Pollo. And I wasn't just ordinary like I hoped to be, but I was extraordinary.
- [55:32]
Adele Onyengo
Thank you.
- [55:42]
Sarah Austin
That was Safiya Ibrahim. In addition to her advocacy work to eradicate polio, Safia promotes health, education and supports people living with disabilities. She's a graduate of the Moth Global Community program and she lives in Ottawa, Canada with her young family. To see photos of Safiya and her three beautiful children taken on Eid of last year, go to themoth.org Moth stories come from everyone. Carpenters, scientists, teachers, inventors, voodoo priestesses. Really everyone. Consider telling your story at the Moth. We we want to hear from you. Find an open mic Moth Slam through our website themoth.org and please share this episode with a friend you think would love the Moth and these stories. You can find us on social media too. We're on Facebook the Moth and on Instagram mothstories. That's it for this episode of the Moth Radio Hour. We hope you'll join us next time.
- [57:02]
Jay Allison
This episode of the Moth Radio Hour was produced by me, Jay Allison and Sarah Austin Janess, who also hosted and directed the stories in the show with additional coaching from Julian Goldhagen and Chaz Bruce in the MOSS Education Department. Co producer is Vicki Merrick, associate producer Emily Couch. The rest of the MOSS leadership team includes Sarah Haberman, Christina Norman, Jennifer Hickson, Kate Tellers, Marina Cluce, Suzanne Rust, Sarah Jane Johnson, and Patricia Urenia Moss. Stories are true as remembered and affirmed by the Storytellers. Our theme music is by the Drift. Other music in this hour from Deluxe Vincent Peyerani, Emile Parizienne, Hugh Masakela, Wolfpeck Ramsey Lewis Trio, and me and my friends. The Moth would like to thank the Gates foundation for their support of the Moth's Global Community program. We receive funding from the National Endowment for the Arts. The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts. Special thanks to our friends at Odyssey, including executive producer Leah Rhys Dennis. For more about our podcast, for information on pitching us your own story, and to learn all about the Moth, go to our website themoth.org.