The Moth Radio Hour: Oh, Brother

Summary

The Moth Radio Hour: Oh, Brother Release Date: July 8, 2025

Introduction

In this episode of The Moth Radio Hour titled "Oh, Brother," host Brian Kennedy delves into the complex and heartfelt relationships between siblings, specifically focusing on brothers. Through a series of poignant and humorous stories, listeners are invited to explore the bonds, challenges, and enduring connections that shape these familial relationships.

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1. Brian Kennedy: Growing Up with an Older Brother (Timestamp: 00:58 - 08:00)

Brian Kennedy opens the hour by sharing his personal experiences of growing up with an older brother who was both a source of chaos and inspiration. He reminisces about the vibrant household filled with rock and roll, band practices, and parties. One notable incident at [02:15] recounts his brother, at age 13, crashing the family station wagon, which set high standards for trouble and adventure. This dynamic made Brian and his sister navigate adolescence under the shadow of their older brother's antics.

Notable Quote:

"He was the classic partying older brother, involved in all sorts of mischief, thereby making my transgressions seem mild." – Brian Kennedy

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2. Nicole Schnitzler: Coming Out to a Tough Brother (Timestamp: 08:00 - 15:14)

Nicole Schnitzler narrates her emotional journey of coming out as gay to her older brother. Growing up, Nicole and her brother were often mistaken for twins due to their matching outfits, a confusion that faded as they developed distinct personalities. Nicole describes the anxiety and fear of revealing her true self to a brother she viewed as "gruff" and "manly."

During her brother's visit to New York, Nicole orchestrates a moment to introduce her boyfriend by misleading their brothers into thinking they were heading to Brooklyn, only to arrive at her boyfriend's Manhattan apartment. This act of bravery leads to a heartfelt revelation where Nicole finally comes out to her brother, resulting in a strengthened bond and mutual understanding.

Notable Quote:

"Once I stopped hiding myself and putting up that wall, we had so much more to talk about and it was great." – Nicole Schnitzler [07:58]

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3. Daniel: Navigating Caregivers and COVID-19 (Timestamp: 09:01 - 15:56)

In her story, Nicole Schnitzler discusses the challenges of caring for her autistic brother, Daniel, during the COVID-19 pandemic. With shelter-in-place orders disrupting routine, Nicole and her father relocate to support Daniel, who thrives on consistency and his Sunday trips to Jewel's jewelry store.

Faced with canceling familiar activities, Nicole innovates by introducing Instacart grocery deliveries to maintain some sense of normalcy for Daniel. This creative solution helps manage his anxiety and maintain his mental health during uncertain times.

Notable Quote:

"Daniel relishes the Sunday trips we take to Jewel. An hour, he can fill our cart with Kraft Parmesan cheese, Hershey's syrup, and all of his other creature comforts." – Nicole Schnitzler [10:45]

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4. Bill Burnett: Overcoming Addiction with Brotherly Support (Timestamp: 15:56 - 26:02)

Bill Burnett shares his tumultuous journey through addiction and the pivotal role his brother Tony played in his recovery. After eight years of drug addiction left him with nothing, Tony offered him a place to stay in Flagstaff, Arizona. Bill recounts the humbling experience of taking low-level jobs and the bonding activities, such as playing video games, that helped him regain stability.

Bill emphasizes the deepened relationship that blossomed once he became sober, highlighting how rooting for the same football team became a tribute to his brother's support.

Notable Quote:

"But I smile because I know it's because he saved my ass. And when I root for them, I'm rooting for him." – Bill Burnett [25:30]

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5. Catherine Wu: Embracing Chosen Family at Her Wedding (Timestamp: 26:02 - 34:15)

Catherine Wu narrates her pre-wedding anxiety about her estranged half-siblings, particularly her older brother Alex. Determined to bridge the gap, she reaches out to Alex, leading to a long-overdue conversation that rekindles their relationship. However, as the wedding approaches, uncertainty looms as Alex remains unable to attend.

In a moment of realization, Catherine chooses to cherish her present chosen family over the absence of her biological brother, finding warmth and support among the friends who have gathered for her special day.

Notable Quote:

"But sitting there in this group of the nine people I love most in the world, it's not so hard anymore to feel lucky for the family that I already have." – Catherine Wu [32:49]

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6. Lynn Chamberlain Adams: Sweet Revenge and Reconciliation (Timestamp: 36:10 - 44:17)

Lynn Chamberlain Adams recounts a teenage revenge plot against her older brother, Kent, inspired by the horror movie The Exorcist. As a young girl, tired of her brother tormenting her, Lynn devises a plan to scare him by writing "help me" under her nightgown using her condition, dermatographia, which allows her to create temporary welts.

This act served as a turning point, leading to a lasting peace and mutual support between the siblings. In a heartfelt exchange, Lynn reflects on their strengthened bond and shared camaraderie.

Notable Quote:

"You know, that's because he saved my ass. And when I root for them, I'm rooting for him." – Lynn Chamberlain Adams [43:35]

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7. OM Chowdhury: The Clownish Bond Between Brothers (Timestamp: 44:28 - 51:30)

Om Chowdhury shares a touching story about the bond between him and his younger brother Raj. Following the sudden loss of their father when Om was 11 and Raj was 5, Om uses humor and creativity—crafting clown hats—to comfort his brother during their grief. This act of levity becomes a symbol of their enduring support for each other.

Years later, after experiencing personal tragedies, Om reaches out to Raj, who travels halfway across the globe to be by his side. Their shared clownish bond exemplifies the resilience and unwavering support that defines their relationship.

Notable Quote:

"It's our way of saying to each other, like, hey, the world hasn't ended yet, and it's not going to end because I'm always going to have your back." – OM Chowdhury [50:00]

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Conclusion

The Moth Radio Hour: Oh, Brother weaves together diverse narratives that highlight the multifaceted relationships between brothers. From moments of turmoil and reconciliation to acts of bravery and unwavering support, these stories celebrate the profound impact brothers have on each other's lives. Through laughter, tears, and shared experiences, the episode underscores the enduring bonds that define sibling relationships.

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Additional Resources

For more stories from this episode and to see photos of the storytellers, visit themoth.org. If you have your own brotherly story to share, consider pitching it to The Moth through their website.

Transcript

[Jennifer Hickson]

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[Brian Kennedy]

This is the Moth Radio Hour. Hi, I'm Jennifer Hickson. In this hour, we'll be hearing from and about brothers. Although he's eight years older than me, my brother was around for all of my growing up because he needed my mother's basement for band practice. Because of him, our house was always filled with rock and roll and people and parties. But perhaps the greatest gift he pushed all the boundaries. He was the classic partying older brother, involved in all sorts of mischief, thereby making my transgressions seem mil. For instance, when he was just 13, he borrowed the keys to my mother's Ford Country Squire station wagon and crashed it into the neighbor's yard a block or two away. So the getting in trouble bar was high. My sister and I cruised through adolescence in his wide, wide wake. Yes, Ma, I'm late for curfew. But good news, I didn't wreck the car. He made it so much easier for us. Our first story is about an older brother and an unspoken truth. It was told at the Housing Works bookstore in Manhattan, where public radio station WNYC is a media partner. Here's Brian Kennedy live at the Moth.

[Nicole Schnitzler]

So I was talking to my mom on the phone when she uttered the single most horrifying sentence in the history of the world. Oh, did your brother tell you he's finally coming to visit you in New York? Oh, shit. My brother and I, when we were little, we were often mistaken for twins. My mother had this disgusting habit of dressing us in matching outfits, and I think that confused people. But once we had a little more say in our wardrobe, it became clear to everyone that we were pretty different. For example, my brother's pajamas were GI Joe. They were camouflaged. They had this big strapping army guy in the front with his rifle and bombs blowing up behind him. And My pajamas were Wonder Woman. And it wasn't just Wonder Woman on the front. It was actually a onesie designed to look like I was wearing her costume. It had flesh colored arms and legs, so it looked like I just had on a red bustier and a blue bikini bottom. So needless to say, I was a homosex. Now, I don't think this was really a secret or would have been a surprise to my brother. I mean, I spent all of high school locked up in my bedroom listening to the soundtrack of Jesus Christ Superstar. But officially, I never ever came out to him. My brother kind of scared me. He was this big, gruff, manly man and the only time he ever showed emotion was when he was watching college basketball on the television. So I figured it was best not to tell him. I knew the time had come that I finally had to tell him. I couldn't hide it from him anymore. And more importantly, I didn't want to hide it because I was in my first serious relationship and I wanted my boyfriend to meet my entire family, including my brother. So if I was brave, I would have called him on the phone and told him ahead of time. But I took the coward's way out and I said, oh no, just tell him in person. It's so much easier. So he arrives at JFK airport and my sister in law came along. So I had the opportunity to kill two birds with one gay stone. Being the good host that I was, I decided to take the train out to jfk, meet them there when they landed and we got into a cab together. Now they think we're going to Brooklyn in this cab because that's where I live. What they didn't know was the address I gave the cabbie was actually my boyfriend's apartment. Apartment in Manhattan. So the three of us are crammed in the back of this cab together and making small talk about their plane ride and everything. And there's a voice screaming in my head, tell them. Tell them. You have to tell them. And then there's another voice screaming at that one girl, settle down. He cannot come out in a cab with some strange cabbie listening to their conversation. That is rude. So I didn't say anything. So we get out of the cab, we're standing on the sidewalk with suitcases, looking up at the fancy high rises of the Columbus Circle area. Very, very sheepishly. I say, it's my boyfriend's apartment. Oh my God. I told them. I feel pretty good about it now. At the same time, I also own up to the fact that I'm A total shit for just dropping this bomb on them in the middle of Manhattan. Their first time visiting me. But thankfully they were so gracious about it. My sister had this huge smile on her face. Or my sister in law. Sorry, that'd be creepy if my brother and sister were married. My sister in law puts this huge smile on her face and she says, oh, that's great. Does that mean we get to meet your boyfriend? So that week, not only did they meet my boyfriend, but my brother got to meet the real me. And all those years I was afraid to tell him that I was gay because we were so different and we hardly talked as it was. I was afraid if I actually said the words out loud, it would mean he would think less of me and we would talk even less. But the opposite was true really. Once I stopped hiding myself and putting up that wall, we had so much more to talk about and it was great. And around the same time, my brother became a father. And I feel like that's when I really got to know the real him. Because that rough, manly man that I was so afraid of, I now got to see him be silly and loving with these two little girls. And it was wonderful. And when I went home for Christmas last year, my brother was the one to pick me up from the airport. And as we were driving back to my parents house, he was telling me a story about the night before when he was reading a bedtime story to his oldest daughter and she stopped him and she said, daddy, how come Uncle Brian and Uncle Danny don't have any girls in their family? Isn't that kind of weird? And I smiled and I felt so proud because I was sure that the answer he gave her was just poetic and beautiful and explaining how sometimes a man can love another man and you don't need a woman. But instead he told me his real answer, which was, well, honey, that's a very interesting question. Why don't you go to bed and tomorrow morning when you wake up, you can ask your mother about it. And although it wasn't the answer I was looking for, it still made me smile because I had waited until the very last minute to come out to my brother. So if he was taking his time and explaining it to his daughter, maybe that meant that we still had something in common. Thank you.

[Brian Kennedy]

That was Brian Kennedy. To see a picture of him in those 10 telltale Wonder Woman PJs, please visit themoth.org where you can also download the story. Brian told this story in 2012 and a lot has happened since then. Brian is now married, so when his three nieces come to visit, they have two uncles. That's another great thing about brothers. They become uncles by day. Brian works at a non profit that supports the LGBTQ community, but his big love is writing, and his wonderful first novel is called A Little Bit Country. Our next story was told In July of 2020, deep in the midst of the coronavirus global pandemic. Our live shows weren't happening, so we held some virtual story slams on Zoom. That's why in this next story, you won't hear audience reaction or clapping at the end. Nicole Schnitzler told this one to a virtual moth audience from her home in Illinois. Here's Nicole Schnitzler.

[Daniel]

When Illinois's shelter in place, orders took effect, my dad and I decided to bring my brother Daniel home to stay with us. Daniel and I no longer live at my dad's. I live in a condo downtown and Daniel in a suburban group home. He is 44 years old and he's autistic. Our unit is tighter these days. Our other brother, Kevin lives with his family in California, and our mom passed away from lymphoma when Daniel was 21 and I was 12. We knew it was important to be together right now. When I picked him up from his group home to get him on a Tuesday afternoon, he was confused. My dad is usually the one who gets him for the weekends which they spend together. Generally speaking, those with autism are highly dependent on routine, and Daniel is no exception. As he gathered his things, I realized the many other things we'd be explaining to him, my dad and I. Why his workshop is cancelled. Why his bowling program has been postponed. Why he's now relocating home. Home with me and his gene, as he calls our dad. But perhaps most of all, we were worried about having to explain one colossal change for Daniel. Why we could no longer take him to the grocery store. Daniel relishes the Sunday trips we take to jewelry. An hour, he can fill our cart with Kraft Parmesan cheese, Hershey's syrup, and all of his other creature comforts. An hour of his week over which he can exercise some control. I knew already that I would do everything in my power I could to stop the two of them from going on their own. Both high risk for COVID 19, my dad, who is 75 years old, and Daniel, who is overweight with diabetes. As soon as we got in the car, the requests started. Nicole, we will go to Jewel. For lack of a better explanation, I tell him it's closed. When you wake up he says it's a go to phrase when he understands that maybe it won't happen today, but it will tomorrow, right? It's gonna be longer than tomorrow, buddy, I say. The next morning, Daniel hands me a grocery list. We'll go to Jewel, he says, putting on his coat. I remain seated. I'm sorry, kiddo, we can't. It's closed, he says. I nod. And then that's when it begins. He storms upstairs, grabs the two pillows from his bed, and lurches them from our second floor balcony onto an armchair that rests in our living room directly below. One of the pillows falls to the floor. It's a miss, by his count. He's angry. He thunders back down, biting his hand and making outbursts along the way. Our dad joins me downstairs to observe the pattern that we have seen unfold over the past couple of years, when Daniel wants to control something that he cannot. In seeing this, my dad implores me to let them go, to let him just go to the store, saying that Daniel's mental health is as vital as his physical health right now, that he's already had to give up way too much too soon, that he needs a single thing that he can count on. It's a valid point. I think about my own comforts quick to go, the ones that I could easily remedy, though an espresso machine instead of Starbucks runs every day, zoom calls instead of happy hours with friends. I think of my dad's consolations, too. Naps reading Entenmann's donuts. But I think about the ways also, that Daniel has adapted before, to the many group homes, to the countless caregivers, to the loss of a mother. I asked my dad to let me try one more thing. After more pillow tosses, I beckon Daniel to the kitchen. I pull up Instacart on my computer and I show him the page where there's a bottle of Hershey's syrup. What about this one, Daniel? I ask. He nods and I add it to the cart. Okay, I explained to him. We add everything here from the list, and then the person, the very nice person, brings it to our front door. Does that sound good? He looked skeptical. I think I did too. But he let me finish his list, and I finally did have an answer for him. The groceries would arrive tomorrow. When you wake up the next day, the doorbell rang. Daniel went straight to one bag, the one with the Hershey's syrup, smiling widely as he did. It. Looks good, he said. It's the one go to phrase he has when it's something that he approves of. After mixing himself a glass of ice cold chocolate milk, he grabs his pillows from the armchair and begins the pillow toss cycle anew. This time though, he is singing happy refrains from the Producers and Les Mis. My dad grabs an Intamin's donuts and heads upstairs to read make myself an espresso. And the three of us stood in various rooms and on separate floors, all listening for the perfect pillow toss. Thank you.

[Brian Kennedy]

That was Nicole Schnitzler. She's a Chicago based freelance writer who covers food, travel and lifestyle. She also writes a lot about her brother and is the founder of Doors Open Dishes, a non profit that partners with chefs to help support group homes and workshops for people with developmental disabilities. As for her brother Daniel, as of September of 2021, he was thrilled to return to his community program, Gateway to Learning. Nicole also went back to her place, but they still get together regularly. During their first post pandemic family vacation, I asked Nicole to explain their family chant, which they still do every night before bed. Just for good measure. Here's Nicole, her dad, and Daniel.

[Daniel]

Okay, Daniel, so I'm gonna tell Jennifer a little bit about our cheer that we started and then will you do the cheer with me after?

[Bill Burnett]

Yes.

[Daniel]

Okay. Thank you so much. This all started at the onset of the pandemic when. When we really didn't feel comfortable hugging and we still wanted to do something for family unity, for solidarity. So we began these nightly huddles where we would come together and cheer. Cheer for the forthcoming vaccines. Right, dad?

[Bill Burnett]

That's right. And so we had a cheer for Pfizer, which was prize fighter Pfizer. And we had a cheer for Moderna, which was move on, Moderna. And then we had a cheer for Johnson and Johnson because that came out in 2021. And we said JJ21. So that's the meaning of the lyrics.

[Daniel]

Daniel, what do we say at the beginning of the cheers?

[Bill Burnett]

What makes you happy?

[Daniel]

All right.

[Bill Burnett]

I want to ask dad, what makes you happy? Being together with you guys. Being together with you guys. What makes you happy?

[Daniel]

Well, I'm happy that we're on vacation right now that we're able to go on vacation. I'm happy to be on vacation with you and Daniel. What makes you happy?

[Bill Burnett]

Food.

[Daniel]

1, 2, 3. Go.

[Brian Kennedy]

To see a picture of Nicole with Daniel and the rest of the family. Visit themoth.org where you can also download the story. Coming up, more stories about brothers and how they show up in your life as you get older. When the moth radio hour continues.

[Nicole Schnitzler]

The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts.

[Jennifer Hickson]

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[Bill Burnett]

At Designer Shoe Warehouse we believe that shoes are an important part of, well, everything.

[Jennifer Hickson]

From first steps to first states, from all nighters to all time personal bests.

[Bill Burnett]

From building pillow forts to building a.

[Jennifer Hickson]

Mud for all the big and small.

[Brian Kennedy]

Moments that make up your whole world. DSW is there and we've got just the shoes.

[Jennifer Hickson]

Find a shoe for every you from brands you love at brag worthy prices at your DSW store or dsw.com thanks.

[Brian Kennedy]

For selling your car to Carvana. Here's your check.

[Jennifer Hickson]

Whoa.

[Nicole Schnitzler]

When did I get here?

[Brian Kennedy]

What do you mean?

[Kent Chamberlain]

I swear it was just moments ago that I accepted a great offer from Carvana Online.

[Bill Burnett]

I must have timed travel to the future.

[Brian Kennedy]

It was just moments ago. We do same day pickup. Here's your check for that great offer.

[Bill Burnett]

It is the future.

[Brian Kennedy]

It's it's the present and just the convenience of Carvana. Sorry to blow your mind.

[Bill Burnett]

It's all good. Happens all the time.

[Jennifer Hickson]

Sell your car the convenient way to Carvana.

[Lynn Chamberlain Adams]

Pick up.

[Daniel]

Times may vary and fees may apply.

[Brian Kennedy]

You're listening to the Moth Radio Hour. I'm Jennifer Hixson and we're hearing from and about and male siblings. Our next story is from Bill Burnett. He told it in Portland where we partner with Oregon Public Broadcasting. Here's bill.

[Kent Chamberlain]

After about eight years of drug addiction in 2002 I was down to like no money, no car, no job. And I looked at my options and I wasn't Particularly close to my brother Tony. But he offered to take me in. So I got off the bus in Flagstaff, a small mountain town, kind of bewildered, and he took me to ihop. And the pancakes were so good. Something about losing everything to addiction just makes IHOP pancakes extra delicious. Don't do it for that. Cause it's not worth it. So after about a week, he gave me some money to go into town while he was working and get some lunch. And I was so freaked out and anxious being around people that I was shaking in the restaurant and I couldn't even go into a little souvenir store. And so we would play like Madden football on his PS2. And in spite of my fragile emotional state, he had no problem just crushing me game after game. We would also play a lot of EverQuest, which is kind of like a forerunner to World of Warcraft. And by the way, in everquest, when you died, you didn't just push a button and fly back to your corpse. You had to wander naked through many lanes and get past the same baddies you did before. You know. And best case, you lost a shit ton of experience. You young people don't know how good you have it. So I was a couple years removed from my high paying job as a big shot tech guy. And I was in a small town with small town jobs and I got a temp job filing medical records at the hospital. And I tried. They actually gave me empty folders to file as a test before giving me real records. It was very humbling and I tried for a promotion to faxing medical records to doctors offices, but I failed the interview. She asked what relevant experience I had and I said, well, eta.com, i was point of contact with Microsoft on a $50 million a year contract to deliver search data. And our team delivered and we had a successful ipo. And she said, well, yeah, it doesn't sound like you really have any experience with, with medical record faxing. So she turned me down. And I was like so not prepared for that. And my brother and I made fun of her and we laughed and that helped, but it hurt. And I realized that it wasn't her fault that I was in that position or that she didn't want to work with me. There was something about interacting with people that I just couldn't understand at all. And that was scary. I got some better odd jobs like overnight disc jockey at a country station. And me and the other DJs had an agreement where if somebody called in to request Toby Keith, we'd Play the Dixie Chicks instead. Right. So, you know, I moved out, got my own place, and my brother and I still hung out a lot, and, you know, we played Madden. I got better. We'd stay, get mad at each other, and I started. We'd watch a lot of football. He was a Cowboys fan, and I hated the Cowboys because, you know, America's team. But with all the time I was with him, you know, and he had so many Cowboys things at his house, and he just loved them so much. I kind of was rooting along with him, just to be polite, I guess, and we went through various ups and downs together. Life is happening. And after about three years, I. I left Flagstaff, and my time there wasn't amazing, but, you know, I stayed alive and I got to heal. And, you know, not long after that, I did get clean and eventually to a point where I love life. My brother has a disability that kind of started affecting him later, which is, you know, he's legally blind, and it's. He can still crush me in Madden, but, you know, his life is very difficult, and it's never a burden to do whatever I can to help him out. What is a burden is that I became a Cowboys fan. So I like, you know, get really upset when they lose and really happy when they win, as if I've done something good. And I live in Seattle, where people give you a lot of shit for that, you know, but it is the Pacific Northwest, so it kind of feels like the Cowboys suck. But also, we respect your perspective. And I tried to root for the Seahawks. It just didn't work. I just. I'm with the Cowboys, and sometimes people ask me why, and. And I say, well, it's a long story, you know, And I smile because I know it's because he saved my ass. And when I root for them, I'm rooting for him.

[Bill Burnett]

Thank you.

[Brian Kennedy]

That was Bill Burnett. Bill is now more than 12 years sober. Yay, Bill. He's become a mental health and addiction awareness advocate. Check out his TED Talk. By day, he works as a communications director at a tech startup that helps nonprofits fundraise. To see a picture of Bill with his beloved brother Tony and his son Justus, visit themoth.org and this one's for you, Tony. Let's go, Cowboys. Our next story was told in Boston, where we partnered with public radio station WBUR and prx. Here's Catherine Wu.

[Jennifer Hickson]

So it's two nights before my wedding, and I'm sitting in the living room of this ridiculously nice cabin on the Shores of Lake Michigan that my entire wedding party has rented for the weekend. My friends are all sitting outside huddled around this fire pit, and they're all toasting marshmallows and slapping away mosquitoes. But I'm not out there. I'm in here staring at my laptop because I'm trying to draft an email. And the email starts, dear Alex, which already sounds really, like, stiff and awkward and uncomfortable, but I have no other way to start this. Dear Alex, I'm getting married on Saturday, and I know you said you were busy, but it'd be really great if you showed up. And my fingers feel fat and heavy as I type the next four words. Please. I'm your sister. Half sister. I should clarify at this point. Alex and my other two siblings are my dad's kids from his first marriage. And they're all about 15 years older than me. The three of them grew up really, really close. And I, as an effective only child, was driven my entire childhood by my singular desire to be a part of this tight knit group. And that singular desire crafted the trajectory of my entire young adult life. Every time I saw them, I copied everything they did. You know, the books they liked, the movies they liked. I pretended I liked pineapp on my pizza until I was 12. That shit's gross. And when my brother Alex got married, I was so excited because it was one of the only times I was able to snap a picture of the four of us together. Two brothers and two sisters. And I saved that photo and I pinned it to my wall. But that relationship was always really asymmetrical. So the three of them, they shared a mom and their childhood and 50% of their DNA. Whatever. I didn't have that. And they never really let me forget it. And by the time I was in high school, Alex was actually really the only one of them that would still answer my phone calls, even after our dad died. But I never really let go of that hope. And a couple years ago when I got engaged, one of the first things I thought about was, I just want my big brother at my wedding the same way I was at his. So I call Alex and I tell him that he means something to me and I want him there. And we end up talking for like an hour. I think it's the longest conversation he and I have ever had. And he tells me about his childhood and stuff about our dad that I never knew. And at the end of all this, he tells me, he promises me that he is going to do everything he can to be there on my wedding day. And as soon as I hang up the phone, I call my partner and I tell him I really think he's going to be there. I can't wait for you to meet my big brother. And a few weeks later, I get a text. It says, hey, kiddo. Things are looking pretty busy, and I don't think I'm gonna make it. But I'll let you know if anything changes. Nothing does. Cause now I'm sitting here, four months later in this living room. And while my friends are sitting outside basking in the glow of the fire, the only glow I'm basking in is the one from my laptop as I finish this email. And I close it out and I sign it Love, but I don't hit send. My finger just hovers over that mousepad. And this countdown starts in my head. I think Alex is in California. If I send this and he sees it and he leaves in an hour, he can catch a red eye and he'll be here with 30 hours and 45 minutes to spare. I wait a minute, and suddenly it's 30 hours, 44 minutes to spare. 30 hours, 43 minutes to spare, and I still cannot push that damn button. I can't send the email. Because all of a sudden, I. I realize that even if I do, he is not going to come. And when he sees that email and he doesn't show up anyway, it's not going to be because we don't share a mom or a childhood or 50% of our DNA. It's going to be because in spite of all the things we do share, I was never really his family. I don't send the email. What I do instead is I shut my computer and I walk outside to the group of people who did drop everything and fly here to be with me this weekend. And I sit down and someone hands me a drink. And the fire has already started to die down, but I still feel how warm the air around me is. And there's really no one in this circle of people that shares parents or a childhood or even all that much of their DNA, relatively speaking. But sitting there in this group of the nine people I love most in the world, it's not so hard anymore to feel lucky for the family that I already have. Thank you.

[Brian Kennedy]

That was Kathryn Wu. She's a staff writer at the Atlantic, where she writes about science. She's also a producer at Story Collider, a storytelling show about science. Catherine had a wonderful time at her wedding with all her chosen family. About her brother, she wrote, he was a lot older than me and we didn't do much growing up together, but I was without them, an only kid, and I remember that whenever he and my other siblings came to visit, I always felt a little less alone. To see some pictures of her bridal party and the fire pit and Catherine with her dad, visit themoth.org do you have a story to tell us? How about one involving your sister? We'll do an hour about sisters eventually, and we'd love to hear a story about your adventures. You can pitch us your story by recording it right on our site or call 877-799-MOTH. That's 877-799-6684. The best pictures are developed for Moth when we return. A little sister seizes upon a rare opportunity for sweet revenge, and a boy in India dreams up a way to make a tough day a little bit better for his younger brother.

[Nicole Schnitzler]

The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts.

[Jennifer Hickson]

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[Brian Kennedy]

You're listening to the Moth Radio Hour. I'm Jennifer Hickson. Our next story is from Lynne Chamberlain Adams. She told it at a show in Chicago where we partner with public radio station WBEZ before listening, just in case you don't know about the terrifying movie from the 1970s, The Exorcist. It's a story about a young woman who has been possessed by a demon. By today's standards, it might not be so scary, but at the time, many people considered it the most terrifying movie and ever. Here's Lynn Adams, who hadn't seen the movie yet, but had definitely read the book.

[Lynn Chamberlain Adams]

So my brother Kent is a year and a half older than I am, and we still have the same sense of humor. So there were a lot of laughs when we were little. But truly, he tortured me. He would hide on me. You know, in my recollection, it was every day, multiple times a day. And every single day, single time, I would burst into tears, go running, crying. In those days, you had a tv, one tv, and you would wait for your show to come on each week. So I would be on the couch because man from uncle was on, and I was going to get to see it. He comes in, he changes channel just because he could. You know, you can either get punched or leave, but you're not going to watch your show. When I was 14, I'm in the kitchen, got the funnies, the comic strips on the table, on the counter. And Kent and his friend Jimmy come through the kitchen. And Jimmy stops for a moment, and we talk about something in the funnies. We have a laugh. And as they're walking out, he says, you know, Chamberlain, your sister's okay. My brother said, what? He said, no, really, she's okay. That was the last time my brother and I ever fought. To this day, we never fought again. We've got each other's back. Everything was great. Two years after that with the funnies, the Exorcist came out, the movie, and I had read the book the year before. So one night I'm home, I'm getting ready for bed. My parents are away. I'm wearing these. I don't know if anybody has them anymore. They're like bloomers with a nightie over them, kind of.

[Nicole Schnitzler]

I wear them.

[Lynn Chamberlain Adams]

And I'm 16. So anyway, so I'm getting ready for bed and my parents are away. My brother comes into my room and he said, I swear to God, you tell anybody this, I will kill you. How many are here? I wait. And he said, you know, we saw the Exorcist tonight. And I am scared shitless. I am not sleeping in my room. I'm sleeping in your other bed. And in that moment, I just felt like everything come into place. Now, another piece of this is that I have. It's called dermatographia. It doesn't affect anything, but it just means you have a lot of histamine in your body and you can write on your body. So you could take a toothpick and do a paisley pattern and it would show up three minutes later as a bright red welt, very well defined against your skin. So I said, fine, whatever. My beds are like this in the corner. I don't know how to say it. They're perpendicular to each other. And I said, but I'm going to sleep. He said, fine. So we turn off the lights and I wait a couple minutes and I had put a bobby pin next to my bed and I raise up my nightgown and I write, help me. And I wait. I waited another three or four minutes. And then in the dark, I could hear his breathing getting fairly regular. And I went, you know the sound a June bug makes when it's bouncing off like the screen and the wall and the light. He started batting around in the darkness of my room trying to find the light switch. And he bangs into my desk. He bangs against the other while he hits the light switch. And he goes, dammit, this is not funny. And he turns on the light And I said, ken, I don't know what's wrong. Everything feels so weird. I don't know what's happening to me. And this is all happening very quickly. And he, he's looking at me and I went, what, what, what? And I lift it up and there says, help me raise. Truly. I'm 58 and this was like the best moment of my life to date. I said, Last two years have been great, but for the first 14, are we even? And we were even.

[Brian Kennedy]

That was Lynn Chamberlain Adams. And that, my friends, was some sweet little sister. Revenge. Yes, Lynn, that was for every younger sibling who has been bullied or teased by a big brother. I relate. Take that Lynn Adams is a world traveler who lived all over Europe before raising her kids in Indiana. To get a little follow up and perspective on the story, I sent Lynn a couple of questions so she could have a conversation with her big brother, Kent. Here they are discussing that infamous night and what it means to be siblings.

[Lynn Chamberlain Adams]

I don't remember from then until we were into our 40s or 50s ever talking about it, but we must Have.

[Bill Burnett]

I think I had to tell the story a lot to get it out of me. But that didn't stop me from having one eye. This is no kidding. One eye open in the shower for the next four years. I graduated from college because of the.

[Lynn Chamberlain Adams]

Movie, not because of me.

[Bill Burnett]

Yeah, because of the movie. But of course, your traumatization didn't help the matter. So thanks for that.

[Lynn Chamberlain Adams]

Sure, sure. Did you ever attempt to get revenge?

[Bill Burnett]

But no, because revenge would have involved. There's only one revenge that would have been anywhere, you know, approximating what you accomplished and that would have been your own death. So I wasn't ready to go to that extent.

[Kent Chamberlain]

So it was.

[Bill Burnett]

It was just either kill you or let it go. And obviously I chose the.

[Lynn Chamberlain Adams]

And whole event was my revenge for everything.

[Bill Burnett]

Oh, yeah.

[Daniel]

So.

[Lynn Chamberlain Adams]

Oh yeah, it's not revenge. Yeah, it was well earned. What is the best thing about being a brother?

[Bill Burnett]

About being a brother or being your brother?

[Lynn Chamberlain Adams]

Let's say being my brother.

[Bill Burnett]

I suppose the eternal camaraderie and friendship. I mean, you know, above and beyond all other things and all other people using me as pals for life.

[Brian Kennedy]

That was Lynn Chamberlain Adams and her brother Kent Chamberlain. To see some pics of them growing up, visit themoth.org where you can also download the story. Our next story is from OM Chowdhury. He told it in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, where we partnered with public radio station wesa. Here's OM.

[Bill Burnett]

So I put my name in the hat, and a part of me was really hoping that it would not come up. It really was simply because consciously I tried to keep people away from looking inside me. But maybe subconsciously I wanted to talk to you guys. And so here I am. So this is a story of two brothers. Me, myself, I'm 29 years old and my brother Raj, who's about 23 years old. And we grew up in north of India. And growing up. Let me give you a little bit of an idea about my childhood days. Growing up in my country was no different from growing up in ancient Greece. Imagine yourself you are in Sparta, where if you are a guy, you're not supposed to cry, you're not supposed to shed tears, your tear ducts are not functional. If you are going through something physical or emotional or mental problems, all you have to do is put on a red cape and move on. That was my childhood, pretty much growing up. And over the course of time, it presented with us a lot of problems. Also gave us a really unique signature. Now I don't have much. I mean, I do have memories of My parents, but my younger brother unfortunately doesn't. And all the cultural values that I grew up with like, immediately came into perspective one single day when I was 11 years old and my brother was 5 years old. And instead of my dad picking me up from college, it was actually my grandma who picked me up from my college, sorry, my school. And it was really surprising because she never comes and picked me up from the school. And I knew something was wrong. And I got home and I realized that my dad wasn't there anymore. Which is fine because a lot of us have gone through this and everyone will go through this at some point sooner or later. So there are no sympathy points here. But I look across the room and I really don't know what to do. I look across the room and there's just my five year old brother who is just sitting in the corner and he's crying and he's sad and he's confused and one look into his eyes and it literally tore my heart. Like what am I supposed to tell this kid? He's barely five and no matter what I say, there is nothing I can do or say to make him feel better. And now I'm not a psychologist, I don't know what, why I did what I did next, but all I did was I ran from the funeral home and I did, I went to the closest stationery shop, got red velvet paper, which you use in arts and crafts, made two, made two clown hats out of it and made two, took two pieces of red paper, scrambled them up and made two clown noses out of it. And I immediately came running back and I put one hat on myself, one on my brother, and I said, hey, do you want to go have an ice cream with me? And it was really surprising. The reason I did that was because my brother was in love with these street side vendors who would dress up as clowns and bring ice cream and balloons. And he loved it. And now some people say, well, one person once said that subtlety is a sign of cultural weakness. A man who is uncivilized knows exactly what he wants and he knows exactly what is right and exactly what is wrong. And in my case it was pretty evident to me that what was right was making this 5 year old kid laugh. And what was really wrong was these social norms that I'm supposed to comply with. I do need a red cape at that particular moment, but instead I need is a red hat and a red clown nose. And that particular day I ended up passing every single person in that funeral home. I took my Brother out and we were gone. We were evolved for like almost a couple of hours. And I came very next day and finished all the rituals that I had to do. Now I wouldn't wish my trajectory on anyone. Next 18 years weren't exactly a walking path for either me or my brother. There was no food for us, there was no money, there was no house. But somehow we got through it. And both of us are doing really well right now. Both of us are like, he's in Tepper and Cat school of Business. And I got my PhD from CMU and things worked out really well. But over this course of like 18, over this course of next 18 years, I realized that me and my brother had formed this really super clownish bond where if one of us was struggling, the other person would always bring exactly two clown hats. And it was our way of saying to each other, like, hey, the world hasn't ended yet, and it's not going to end because I'm always going to have your back. Fast forward story 18 years, about seven weeks ago. I'm not sure I should be talking about this, but my world came crashing down. And I really thought that I had seen everything that the life has to throw at me, but it did not. Three of the people I loved most in my entire life, I lost them in a single week. I was. I was really. Hey, once again, no, no sympathy points here, because we all go through it, and if not one of one of each stage, we will. But I was. I was really depressed. It took me. It took me 48 hours to get out of bed. I did not eat, I did not sleep, I did not drink. I did absolutely nothing. And at the end of the day, I ended up calling my brother. One of those normal conversations. And I was speaking to him and he was like, now he's sitting halfway across the globe at this point. And he was like, hey, how are you doing? And I didn't want him to worry at all, so I was like, oh, I'm doing perfectly fine. How are you doing? And we had this normal conversation and we hung up. Exactly 23 hours and 47 minutes later, I get a call on my cell phone saying, dude, Pittsburgh is fucking cold. How do you live in this godforsaken place? And. And I was like, wait, wait, wait, where are you? Where are you? And he's like, he's like, stop talking and just come pick me up from the airport. And I rush across the airport. I rush across all the traffic. I go to airport and I see. I see this guy who's clad in jeans, a blue jeans, a shirt that says World's Clowniest Brother Ever, which he himself made it up. And the only thing he brought with him that day, halfway across the globe, was his visa, his passport, and two hats. Two clown hats. And he tells me, I know it's really snowy out there, but how about we go and us two clowns have that piece of ice cream that we always wanted? So that's my story.

[Brian Kennedy]

That was Om Choudhury. He's a computational biologist and data scientist. In addition to his love for science, he has a deep passion for music. You can find him dancing at blues events all over the Northeast. And his little brother, Raj, he just graduated with his masters, and Om couldn't be prouder. That's it for this episode of the Moth Radio Hour. Thanks to all the storytellers in this hour. And let's hear it for all the brothers in the world, too. You have driven us crazy and you have saved our lives. Specifically to the brothers in this hour, Mike, Tony, Alex, Daniel Kent, Raj, and my brother, Vernon. Thank you. We hope you'll join us next time.

[Nicole Schnitzler]

This episode of the Moth Radio Hour was produced by me, Jay Allison, Katherine Burns, and Jennifer Hickson, who also hosted the show. Co producer is Vicki Merrick, associate producer Emily Couch. The rest of the Moth's leadership team includes Sarah Haberman, Sarah Austin, Janess, Meg Bowles, Kate Tellers, Jennifer Birmingham, Marina Cluce, Suzanne Rust, Brandon Grant, Inga Gladowski, Sarah Jane Johnson, and Aldi Caza Malth. Stories are true, as remembered and affirmed by the Storytellers. Our theme music is by the Drift. Other music in this hour from Blue Dot Sessions, Stephen Fawcett, Mel Brooks and Glen Kelly. The funkiest band you've ever heard, Philip Glass and the Third coast percussion, Mike Oldfield and Adam Baldich. We receive funding from the National Endowment for the Arts. The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts. Special thanks to our friends at Odyssey, including executive producer Leah Rees Dennis. For more about our podcast, for information on pitching us your own story and everything else, go to our website, themoth.org.