Jennifer Hickson (3:59)

From prx this is the Moth Radio Hour. I'm Jennifer Hickson from the Moth's artistic team and I'll be your host this time. At the Moth, we have two kinds of the main stage, where we spend lots of time rehearsing and finessing each story with the storyteller. And then there's the Story Slam, where we provide a mic, a stage, a theme, and a time limit. And that's it. Each story slam generates a winner, which brings me to the Grand Slam, the place where Story Slam winners face off for the ultimate title Grand Slam Champion. In this hour, all the six stories you'll hear are from the Moth Grand Slams around the country. Only one of the stories you'll hear tonight actually won the title. I'm going to wait until the end of the show to let you know, which before we play the stories, I thought I'd let Dan Kennedy give you his take on some slam basics. He's our longest standing New York Moth Story Slam and Grand Slam host. You may also recognize his voice from our podcast. Dan and I have been putting on story slams together for more than 10 years. He's the host and I'm the producer.

Dan Kennedy (5:01)

At a regular slam. Someone walks in the door, they put their name in the hat. They might go on, they might not. You know, it's usually after work or whatever. They had no idea that, you know, they thought maybe they were going to drop by. They weren't sure if they would get in, let alone get picked. It lends itself, you know, to a certain casual air. But the Grand Slam, you, you know, as a storyteller, you know that you're gonna go on. There's no doubt about that. So you're kind of more accountable. You've also invited folks. You know, I mean, there's definitely. And it's, you know, it's always at a bigger venue. I mean, those are bigger shows. So all of that stuff really leads to a certain kind of electricity in the air.

Jennifer Hickson (5:44)

Let's go to a Grand Slam story where I think you can hear some of the electricity. This was recorded at the Music hall of Williamsburg in Brooklyn. The theme that night was the deep end. At the time of the telling, the storyteller, Aaron was still an undergraduate rabbi. Here is Aaron Potek live at the mosque.

Bonnie Levison (6:07)

So I'm accompanying the dean of my rabbinical school to a college campus to help him do some recruiting. We divvied up the roles. He would give the inspiring talk, and I would drive him back home. That's how that works. So it was actually. It was an interesting talk that he gave. He talked about how religious Jewish law, or halacha, actually comes from the same word as path, and how the law should really be a path to God. Afterwards, a student raises her hand and asks, is there a law that you feel isn't on the path to God? And I'm thinking, wow, that's a tricky question. Thank God I'm not up there. At which point he says, aaron, come on up here and answer this question. So there I am in front of a bunch of college students who are just a few years younger than me. I have no idea what I should say, what I could say. So I take a risk and I say, actually, I'm kind of bothered by Leviticus 18:22, the law that prohibits gay sex. I'm not gay myself, but I feel like that's not really helping anyone connect to God. And I sit back down, and the rabbi moves on. He doesn't talk about that and doesn't ask me to come up for another question. That was cool. Six months later, I'm the scholar in residence at a conference in Washington, D.C. for Jewish College students from across the country. And a student comes up to me and says that he'd like to speak to me. And so I say, okay, we sit down. I figure I probably offended him with something I said because I'm so radical. So we sit down. And actually, I was shocked because he comes out to me and he's an Orthodox guy, and he's struggling with how to reconcile these seemingly incompatible identities that he's holding. And Orthodoxy has not been great to gay people, to say the least. And I'm kind of curious why he's trusting such personal and sensitive information with me, the guy who's decided to make a life out of promoting and defending this world. And I asked him why. He told me, and he said that six months ago he was at that talk and that my answer about Leviticus 18:22 somehow identified me as an ally. And he was hoping that I might be able to give him something that other Orthodox rabbis and leaders haven't been able to give him. And I was kind of stuck because the truth is, there really is nothing I could say. I can't just say, oh, you know, ignore that verse. Don't worry about that one. I mean, he was coming to me as an Orthodox Jew. And, you know, we both believe that the Torah of the Bible was written by God, every part of it. And to reject a verse would be to deny a fundamental part of our identity, but at the same time to just tell him that God discriminates against him for the way that God made him. That was troubling for both of us. Now, this wasn't the first time that I was in completely over my head. I've counseled married couples on their sex life, and I've never had sex myself. I hear it's great, but something about this guy's. It's real. Laugh at my life, it's cool. But something about this guy's question was particularly troubling and challenging for me because I knew he wasn't just asking about Leviticus 18:22. He was lonely. He was hiding his identity from his community. He needed to believe that somehow, in the end, even though it seemed impossible, he'd be able to hold on to these religious values and it would all be okay. He'd find love in that community. And it was so hard because that tapped into a deep insecurity of my own. All I've wanted my whole life is to be in a healthy, loving relationship. But despite working so hard towards that goal, at that point I had nothing to show for it. And I was wondering if God really cared about me finding love. I felt like sometimes it might be easier to just throw away all these laws that felt so inhibiting and just maybe that way I could find love. But this wasn't the time to talk about my problems. If you think you've got it bad, let me tell you so. So I shut it down and I. And I was there. I tried to help him. I said, listen, I don't know what to tell you. I don't know why God would make a law like this. But I do know that God wants you to find love. And that the God that we believe in can be present in a gay relationship just as much as he can be present in a straight relationship. And that I don't know that him and his future partner will figure out how to bring in all these religious Jewish values that he has into his relationship. And I left and I wondered if maybe I should have told him that to just leave Orthodoxy. But I didn't. And about a month ago I got a call from him. He wanted to talk. I was like, okay, great, what is it this time? We hadn't spoken since that last conversation. And he wanted to tell me that. He wanted to thank me for that conversation that we had had. He was now in a relationship with another Orthodox guy and because of our conversation he was able to believe that love was possible for him. I asked him if God was present in his relationship and he said yes. And he said that he was happy for the first time in a long time. And I hung up the phone and I just started crying. It was really awkward. I was driving. Windshield wipers cannot wipe away these tears. But I cried because I was just so overwhelmed by irrationality. It didn't make any sense. Like how my one little throwaway line over a year ago had led to this moment. How an Orthodox rabbi to be had counseled another Orthodox guy into a gay relationship. How someone who had serious doubts about the existence of love was able to help someone else believe in it. None of it made any sense. But somehow through that irrationality, I reconnected to my faith. A faith in myself, a faith in God, and a faith that I too would find love one day. Thank you.

Jennifer Hickson (13:25)

That was Aaron Potek, who since the telling of this story, has been ordained as a rabbi. To see a picture of Aaron or to possibly forward his picture to your nice, open minded Orthodox daughter, visit the moth website, themoth.org Next up is Bonnie Levison. The theme was secret weapons. Here's Bonnie Levison live at the Moth Grand Slam.

Matthew Dix (13:56)

So it's early January in 2009. I'm sitting in a New York City restaurant feeling really anxious. I'm waiting for Steven. He's the man I've been dating for a long time and we haven't been getting along for quite a while now. And I'm thinking maybe it's time to just end it. You know we're really different. He is a go getter, but he is a risk taker and he breaks rules. And it makes me crazy. And I'm the polar opposite. I'm kind of passive. I wouldn't break a rule if my life depended on it. And it makes him crazy. And I have thought about it and I just think tonight's the night. We just got to end it right now. No matter what. It's the right thing. I see him coming into the restaurant and he's coming towards me with a big smile on his face. I feel the dread. And he's about 6ft tall, he's got a beard and glasses, wearing his usual outfit of a black turtleneck, jeans, baseball cap. I even tease him that he looks like the other famous Stephen, Steven Spielberg. He sits down at the table and I'm ready to say what I want to say and he says, I've got news. And I'm like, okay, okay what? And he says, I just got two tickets to the Obama inauguration parties and a hotel and I want you to come with me. I know what I have to do and I dig deep and I just say, when do we leave? Two weeks later, it's inauguration day, we're in Washington, we wake up early, the excitement is palpable. It is a freezing cold day, but it's just absolutely gorgeous. We get on the shuttle bus to get down to the National Mall. We have yellow tickets. And we get out of the shuttle bus about three long blocks away from the yellow ticket holders area and we're walking by thousands of people online and I'm thinking, thank God we have these yellow tickets because I'm not sure we'd get in. And we get to the entrance and my heart sinks because I realized that all those thousands of people also had yellow tickets. I'm like, stephen, we gotta go to the end of the line. And he's like, no, we don't. We're cutting. I'm like, that's what bugs me. That's what bugs me. I mean, he's so aggressive and he starts weaving his way into the line and it's like an alarm goes off. Everybody in the line says, don't even think about it. We have our eyes on you. Get to the back of the line and I'm humiliated and embarrassed. I'm rolling my eyes and I'm like, we gotta go to the back line. He pulls me behind a tree right next to the entrance and he's like, just wait a couple of minutes. I just feel like something is going to happen. And moments later, he notices this large group of people, about 30 people, all ages, posing for, like, a portrait, a picture. And he takes me by the hand. He says, just smile and act like you belong. I'm incredibly uncomfortable. But suddenly we find ourselves in the back row of this photograph being photographed. Someone has this picture. There we are in the back row, and then the group breaks up and they all start heading towards the yellow ticket holder entrance. Stephen says to me, just get in the middle of the group. Smile and act like you belong. And we start walking along. I'm like, this is so uncomfortable. And I look around at these people and I'm thinking, they look familiar. Oh, holy. This is the Kennedy family. We just had our picture taken with the Kennedy family. And I'm in the middle of this group. And we walk right up to the entrance, and it's like Moses and the sea parting. The line steps aside, and we all go in. We're the first to go through security. Not only that, they guide us into the front section. Moments later, I'm standing at the foot of the steps of the Capitol. And above me is the enormous podium where Barack Obama will be inaugurated in an hour and a half. And I can't believe this. We find seats and we start taking pictures of each other. I'm like, stephen, take a picture of me here and Steven. And suddenly everybody's all excited everywhere. And they're handing me their camera and saying, could we take a picture with him? And I'm taking a picture, and finally I'm taking his picture with this incredibly handsome marine. And I'm holding the camera, and these people behind me say, look. Look who it is.

Father Bob (19:00)

It's.

Matthew Dix (19:01)

Oh, my God. They think he's Steven Spielberg. I'm looking through the lens, I'm taking the picture, and I see his big. He knows they think he's Steven Spielberg, but he's not going to blow it for them or for us. And as I'm taking the picture, it occurs to me, maybe I should give this relationship a little more time. You know, he was willing. He's willing to take risks. Yes, he looks like Steven Spielberg, but it works. And, you know, maybe I'm the one that needs to change. Maybe I need to go out on a limb and take some risks. And not for nothing, he's not the only one that looks like somebody famous. I have been told that I look a little like Martina Navratilova. Thank you.

Jennifer Hickson (20:03)

That was Bonnie Levison. She's a marketing and advertising executive who moonlights as a comic and co founded the Nantucket Comedy Festival. Bonnie and Steve did eventually break up, but are still friends. To see a picture of the yellow tickets and Bonnie posing with a marine at the inauguration, go to themoth.org in a moment. More from slam host Dan Kennedy and more moth grand Slam stories. Accusations fly at an elementary school and a teacher must stand. Stand his ground.

Dan Kennedy (20:36)

The moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts, and presented by the Public Radio Exchange.

Jennifer Hickson (20:44)

PRX.org this is the Moth Radio Hour from PRX. I'm Jennifer Hickson. We're listening to moth Grand Slam Stories this hour. But first, here's a little more with seasoned moth Slam host Dan Kennedy. We're talking about what makes a moth story successful.

Dan Kennedy (21:01)

You know, the thing. This never changes. I mean, wouldn't you agree? The thing of people just being themselves, being honest, being a little bit vulnerable and telling a story. I mean, it's, you know, I've seen people get up there and forget what they were going to say for a minute, and in a weird way, all of a sudden, we're all on their side. I think that's the coolest thing. You know, you'll see someone go on that's so nervous, and they'll stand there for a minute and say, oh, I'm just so nervous, I forgot what I wanted to start saying. And people from the audience, you do that in a comedy club and you're just, you're eviscerated. You do that at the moth and someone in the audience will shout out something to help you. It's the coolest thing ever, especially to see that happen in New York.

Jennifer Hickson (21:54)

Even they'll shout out, it's okay, it's okay.

Dan Kennedy (21:57)

Or they'll like, you'll get there. Yeah, it'll be like, we have time. Or like, don't start the clock yet or something so sweet. And everyone starts cracking up or applauding. I, you know, I mean, where do you, where do you see that? Where do you see that? Especially in a huge city, the audience.

Jennifer Hickson (22:15)

Is dying to see them succeed. Yeah, bring us something good. We're ready. Come on. Yeah, it's really nice. Our next storyteller had to come up with a story for the grand slam theme, Fall from grace. He definitely found one. Here's Matthew Dix live at the mall.

Horace H.B. Sanders (22:38)

When he passed the yellow envelope across the table to me, I had no idea what was in it, but I knew it was bad. It was 2007. I was an elementary school teacher in my eighth year on the job, and I was doing something I had wanted to do since I was a boy. A year earlier I had been named Teacher of the Year in a district of over 1,000 teachers and had been one of three finalists for the State Teacher of the Year. But now I had been called into the office of the Director of Human Services in the middle of the school day and this is not good. He told me that the envelope arrived by mail. He told me that the envelope had arrived by mail and that the district normally ignored anonymous comments, but because these had been sent to the Board of Ed, to the Town Council, and to the Mayor, they could not be ignored. He told me that the authors claimed to be parents, but in all likelihood it was a teacher, a small group of teachers, or the spouse of a teacher. He told me to read the contents of the envelope and then he left the room. Inside the envelope There was a 28 page document entitled In His Own Words. 26 of the pages were excerpts from a blog I had been writing for the last two years. The first two pages were a cover letter that described me as violent and sexist and compared me to the man responsible for the Virginia Tech massacre earlier that year. As I started reading, my hands shook, my vision blurred, I saw my career disappearing in front of me. Then I started reading the packet and I realized that the claims in the letter weren't substantiated by what was in the packet. The authors of it, I'll call them the Cowards, had deliberately taken excerpts from my blog single sentences and constructed them in such a way to make make me look like the person I was not. My blog was provocative, but out of context. It was something much, much more. The example that my wife hates the most is this one. I wrote in a post that I opposed girls wearing sweatpants with the word juicy written on their butts. I complained that the human eye is normally drawn to text and so I kept finding myself inadvertently looking at 10 year old girls butts and I questioned parents decision to place advertising on their daughter's ass. The only line used in the packet from that post was I can't stop looking at 10 year old girls butts. There were literally hundreds of examples like this and another one I wrote about my principal telling me to take as much time off as I needed because my mother had died and attempting to show that I was benefiting from favoritism. The only sentence from that post was my principal told me I can take any day off that I wanted, never mentioning the death of my mother. I was placed on paid administrative leave for three days while pending an investigation. One year before, I was the teacher of the year and now my career and the career of my wife were at jeopardy. They had demanded that I be terminated immediately and she as well as she was a teacher in the school also, and that if I was not terminated, the packet would be sent to the entire school district, every family. After the investigation, it was determined that I had done nothing wrong and the director of human resources told me not to worry, that the threat of sending packets out to families had been made before and it was a bluff. I returned to my classroom happy to be with my kids. One month later, in the midst of my summer vacation, the packet was sent to more than 300 families in my town. It was stuffed in mailboxes. It was placed on doorsteps. It was jammed underneath windshield wipers. People were stopped in their driveway and asked to take a copy. I was called back into the superintendent's office. At this point, they were convinced that every parent would want to remove their child from my classroom. A meeting was held and the parents were given the option of taking their kids out of my class for the upcoming school year. There was talk about me taking a clerical position at the town hall because no right minded parent would ever want their child in my class. I cried a lot that summer, more than I've cried before. The superintendent called and he told me of the 23 kids that were scheduled to be in my class that year, not one parent had asked to be removed from my classroom. In addition, another 12 had called and offered to place their children in my classroom if one of the other parents had asked to have them removed. That was five years ago. The cowards have still not been identified. I still write a blog, and next month my third novel will be published. Every single time I place a word on the page, I wonder what might happen to it and what an anonymous person might do to twist it and ruin me. I have not thought, I have not failed to think about that summer for one day in the last five years. It is constantly in my memory. Those people are still out there. And it's so hard knowing that they can be untouched because they're anonymous. But a day doesn't go by that I don't walk into my classroom, cross the threshold of that door, and think to myself, I'm still here. I'm still here doing the job that I love. Thank you.

Jennifer Hickson (28:28)

That was Matthew Dix. To date, his accusers have never come forward, but he and his wife are still happily teaching in the same school. If you'd like to check out his blog for yourself. You can find a link@themost.org on a positive note, this summer when all this happened, he spent a lot of time writing, not just on his blog, and that work became his first book. To date, he's published three books. The most recent is Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend. By the way, you can find all of the stories you're hearing this hour at the itunes store. As the moth expands, we've brought story slams to other cities. Dan is often the guy who comes with me to launch the new show. He's the demo guy. When we leave, local hosts and producers take over. I asked Dan what his favorite part of going to a new city is.

Dan Kennedy (29:13)

You get to pull into a City, hear 10 really cool stories that you wouldn't have heard. No matter how many bars you went to while you were in that town or how many restaurants you hung around in, you know, how many friends you tried to make in a hotel bar or something, you hear these 10amazing stories. And I always say they're the type of stories that you usually don't hear until you're friends with somebody for five years. And that's pretty amazing to get into town at 1pm you know, and by 10pm you've heard 10amazing stories that would usually take, you know, 50 collective years of friendship, and so has everybody else in the crowd. And then you hang around afterwards and hear even more from other people. It's a pretty amazing way to pull into a city.

Jennifer Hickson (29:57)

Our next story was recorded at a Grand Slam in Detroit, where we partner with WDET and Michigan Radio. Here live from the Gem theater is Horace H.B. sanders.

Aaron Potek (30:12)

Thank you. I was 12 years old and I got invited to a party. This was a big deal because in October, and it was this young lady, Tracy. Now, Tracy is a big deal because I was going to church in my neighborhood, and she was the niece of the organist Sister Matthews. So she would bring Tracy with her maybe twice a week. This is a big deal for me because she's about three years older than me. She's really pretty fine to me at 12. But I could impress her because by her only coming twice a week, only seeing me two times out the month, I could wear that one suit I had every other Sunday at church, and she figured I had a bunch of them. So Tracy is having this birthday party right around in the middle of October. So she's gonna make it a costume party. So all of my cousins go to church, too, and they're like, hey, we're all gonna go. Because I grew up on the east side. She's way on the west side, which is a big deal to me. Back then, my parents didn't do a lot of traveling on the west side. So, hey, it seemed like out of town to me. We got on 94 and it said Chicago West. I thought Chicago was over that side of the rib. Like, when are we ever gonna go to Chicago? It's right over there. Always in Detroit. So she's having this party, right? So I found. It's a costume party. I'm talking to my cousins. I'm the youngest of them. I'm like, hey, y'all going. Y'all gonna get a costume. They're like, yeah, we gonna dress up. I'm like, y'all going? For real? So I'm excited. I'm building this up in my head. And I'm like, I'm not just gonna buy a costume. Because every year before this, I was only Dracula. I would be Dracula. Get the little widow's peak, which I already had. My mama would emphasize it. Get some of those fake teeth and a black towel as a cape and a dress shirt. It was pretty raggedy, but it was sweet. When I was 9, 10, 11, but 12, I had my own eye set on one thing. I was gonna be a ninja. So I told my mom, I was like, look, let's check out ninja costumes. She's like, boy, we ain't got no money for no ninja costume. I was like, what you mean? Come on, Mama. It's a big deal. It's a problem. I ain't got no money for no ninja costume. My mama had one of them things where she made you think it was different kinds of money. She's like, you got some ninja costume money? I'm like, what is ninja costume money? It's funny to me, okay? So I'm like, I could do. My daddy, he had his own business. He started his own business. From the time I was born, he had his own business. I was like, well, fine. You won't buy me one, I'll make one. I was like, I'll make my own ninja costume. Now. I couldn't order it online. Cause it wasn't none of that back in the day. I was 12. So I was like, I'll do the next best thing. I talked to my grandma, who we all call nanny, who was like 30 years older than everybody we knew. Matter what your age was, she was 30 years older. So I was like, nanny, what can I do? She's like, baby, you can get this dye and dye whatever you got. So I had these white pajama set, plain pajama set. It was like Scooby Doo or something. So white pajamas with brown, blue Scooby Doo right here. Only thing black on it was the wrist right here, the waist and the ankles. So I'm like, I'll dye it black. It'll be black. So I dye it right? And I'm like, I ain't got no black hood, but I can make my own hood.

Scott Holz (33:27)

So.

Aaron Potek (33:27)

So I got some black material. I didn't know I needed black thread. I got white thread and sold the hood. Got some black footies. So I dyed it, but the Scooby Doo was still. You could see it. And really, if we had better lighting in our house, I would have noticed it was a dark gray. It wasn't really black. So I got my daddy's work markers, those marker locks. No permanent markers. So I'm like, I'll just color this all out. I used about 3 of those permanent markers. Right, right. So then I make the hood. It's looking like Ultraman. If anybody got any old school people in here. Big pointy head, totally different material. This don't match this. This all nappy. This all smooth. And we only had one family car. My brother was going out that night, and he was like, okay, I'll drop you off at the party. I was like, good. This is what you do. You got a date. Stay out as late as you can. That way I can blame it on you that I'm coming home late. Like, perfect. So I was like, stay as late as you can. So he takes me over there. I call my cousin before I leave, like, y'all gonna be there? Yeah, we gonna be there. So I get dropped off, right? I got my costume on. I walk in the house. Aunties and mothers and all upstairs. Cause the grown people upstairs, like, hey. They're like, hey, baby, how are you? And I was like, hey, is anybody else here? I go downstairs, I look and see it's just Tracy and, like, three other people. Like, where my cousin? So I call him on the phone, like, where you at? Like, our mama said we can't come. I'm like, what you mean y'all can't come? All I know is Tracy here. Then people start coming in, right? But nobody else is dressed up this October. I'm 12. We got guys coming in. Run DMC is hot. They got Levi's, crease, Adidas, leather jackets, Bombers, silk shirts. All they best going to school, first day clothes, right? And I'm in this ninja outfit. So I'm in the basement. I'm like, well, I can't get home, you know what I'm saying? It's only one car. My brother got ain't no cell phones back when I was 12, so I'm just stuck there. I was like, well, at least I got this hood on. I'm like, I'll really be a ninja tonight. I'll be low key. I stay away from the food because everybody's coming over here. I'm kind of getting the corner by the washing machine or something. So then as all the neighborhood people are coming west side, they like talking. They like, Tracy, who was that guy? Who's that over there? Is it a guy? Can't see nothing. No part of skin is showing. Just a little ankle right here. Who is that? And I was like, oh, they're talking about me. This is under the hood. Oh, they talking about me. She's like, I don't know. And Tracy was always real aggressive. She's like, I don't know. Let me see. She walks over, just snatches the hood off. Oh, that's just Horace. My auntie made me invite him. But you don't get the bad part. And then she was like, and what's that smell? It was the marker. Oh, it stinks so bad. I spent the rest of the party upstairs in the kitchen with all the grown people and three weeks later I still had black mark on my chest.

Scott Holz (36:39)

Thank you.

Jennifer Hickson (36:45)

That was Horace HB Sanders. He was born and raised in Detroit, is a stand up comic and the father of nine children. Children. When I asked what he does when his nine children come to him for Halloween costume money, he told me that as a matter of fact, a couple of years ago his wife started a face painting company and that his kids have the best homemade costumes in Detroit. To see a picture of Horace as a kid and a picture of some of his kids with painted faces, go to our website. While you're there, we'd love to hear your story. Click on Tell a story and it will take you on a step by step how to or if you live anywhere near a moth story. Slam city. Come out and meet us live. When we come back, two more grand slam stories. One about a funeral officiant and another about a brave little boy in Kenya.

Dan Kennedy (37:35)

The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts and presented by the Public Radio Exchange.

Jennifer Hickson (37:43)

Prx.Org this is the Moth Radio Hour from PRX. I'm Jennifer Hickson. From the Moth this Hour, we're doing grand slam stories from around the country. At the end of the hour, we'll let you know which of the six stories you've heard actually won the title Grand Slam champion. Our next story is from Cole Kadzen. She told us at a grand Slam in Los Angeles, where we partner with public radio station kcrw.

Father Bob (38:09)

My friend Joe was going to die. We're all going to die. Spoiler alert. But my friend Joe was going to die soon, and I was getting on a plane to Wisconsin to go see him. And before I left, he called me. He was fading fast and worried we might miss each other, and he asked if I would be the celebrant at his memorial service. I didn't know what a celebrant was, but I agreed because for Joe, I would do anything. I've known this guy since high school drama club. He was the stage manager for all the plays which I was in. I was the kooky character roles. And Joe would always be knocking at the door of the dressing room, which was the lunch room, like, five minutes. Lady Bracknell, or whoever I was. It was never romantic with him. He came out to me in college. We were just like best friends, and we had so much fun together. Like, once we went to an art exhibit at the Scientology center in New York, and he tried to get them to convert us by saying things like, I wonder what it all means? Just like, very loudly to the room. But even with him, the littlest things, like the way he said asparagus made me laugh. He said it like asparagus, and I would just like fits of laughter, and people would stare at us. But my state with him was always laughing so hard, I felt like I was underwater and could barely breathe. Joe was diagnosed with a rare pulmonary cancer a few years ago. Angiosarcoma, he called it. His Irish girlfriend, Angie O sarcoma. It was horrible, and then it was hopeful, and then horrible, and then worse, and then time. He started saying goodbye to people and checked himself into a hospice. When I arrived, he was barely there. And it's unreal to see your friend like that, shrunken and frail. His stomach was beating like a heart. He'd had a lung removed, and in the surgery, they moved his organs around so his heart was here and his parents were there and his sister and his partner. And I just took my place among them around the bed, like we were in a Rembrandt painting or something. I googled celebrant on the plane, and it turns out it's the person that's in charge of the whole memorial service. And I didn't feel qualified. I wanted to do it, of course, but I thought, wasn't there someone more official at the hospice who should be doing this? It turns out there was. His name was Father Bob, and he was pissed. Father Bob was the chaplain at the hospice, and he did all the memorials, so he just assumed he'd booked this gig. And Joe told him that he wanted me to do it. So right away, there was, like, static between me and Father Bob. And I wasn't at the hospice 10 minutes, like, in the room, it's very intense. And Father Bob walks in. Hey, this must be Cole. The first choice celebrant. And just the way he said first choice was kind of ominous. Like, if some unforeseen tragedy were to render me unable to be celebrant, it would fall back to him. Like, back off, Father Bob. But it wasn't the first time in our history that Joe had roped me into something where I felt in over my head. Summer's dream, college. He got me to work at this musical theater camp with him. And we mounted a very ambitious stage play version of the Little Mermaid. It was the same summer the movie came out. And we noticed that all the little girls on the first day of camp were singing the songs. And we're like, I don't know what this under the sea thing is, but we're doing it because they are already all off book. And it's the first day of camp. We had choreographed the Act 1 finale. Clamshell kick line. Like, within the first week at the hospice, the nurses told us that hearing is the last sense to go. So I would sit next to Joe's bed and read and sit, sing to him. And I only know so many songs by heart. And most of them are from the Little Mermaid. So I was halfway through the second chorus to under the Sea when Joe suddenly woke up. For the first time in days. He sat up in bed. He pulled me to him. I asked him if he remembered that summer, and he nodded. He whispered something to me. I didn't understand what it was. I still don't know what it is. It kills me that I don't know what it is. Kissed me on the mouth and fell back into bed, his heart beating and his stomach. Watching someone die, I think particularly someone your own age. What's impossible to get your head around. For me it was. Is the end of hope. The not getting better. Just holding his hand as he slips away deeper and Deeper and D which he did the following day. And I felt like I was being pulled underwater with him under the sea. Joe had only one parameter for his memorial, that it be on a Monday night. He was an Equity stage manager and he wanted it to be when theaters were dark so everyone could come. I gave a five minute stage manager call before the service as he had so many times for me. And his sister gave a beautiful eulogy. I even let Father Bob read a poem just to be nice. For the end though, I wanted a showstopper because this was Joe and I had all this self doubt. I didn't know what I was doing. But that morning I xeroxed 200 copies to the lyrics to under the Sea. It was a gamble for a funeral because it was a big production number and we hadn't rehearsed. And I started the music which is like doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, right? And I sing and I was fully prepared to dive into this all by myself. Just sing to Joe. But everyone, I mean there were like 200 people there. Everyone sang, everyone joined in, even Father Bob, as in this great act of forgiveness to me was singing, he was dancing and swaying to under the Sea, which if you don't know it, is a ridiculous song that a crab sings to a mermaid. But it was somehow perfect and I wish that Joe could have seen it because I think he would have had a blast watching everyone he loves in one room singing and crying and laughing so hard that we could barely breathe. Thank you.

Jennifer Hickson (44:35)

That was Cole Kadzai. She's an Emmy award winning television producer and writer living in Los Angeles. To see a picture of Jo and Cole, visit themoth.org.

Aaron Potek (44:49)

The seaweed is always.

Bonnie Levison (44:51)

Greener in somebody else's lake. You dream about going up there, but that is a big mistake. Just look at the world around you Right here on the ocean floor Such wonderful things around you what more is.

Aaron Potek (45:08)

You looking for under the sea?

Jennifer Hickson (45:11)

Our final story is from our Grand Slam in Louisville, Kentucky, where we partner with wfpl. The theme that night was fish out of water. Here's Scott Holzknecht live at the mall.

Scott Holz (45:27)

I signed a contract for the purchase of my first house. Then I asked my girlfriend if she would marry me. And then I told my boss, my principal, I'm a teacher, that I had accepted a new job offer and I wouldn't be coming back the next year. And then I backed out on the contract of the house. And then my fiance and I Broke up. And then I went back to my boss and asked if I could please come back next year. All of this happened in about two and a half or three months. And I felt completely disoriented, lost. I didn't know which way was up. I felt embarrassed. I felt stupid. I felt like I didn't really know what I wanted in life. And since I didn't know what I wanted, I didn't really have a lot of meaning and purpose. And since I didn't have purpose, I just. I wasn't happy, you know, I just didn't have that joy that can come with having a reason to get up in the morning. And I remember even thinking to myself, I'm just not even smiling very much these days. I told my friend Joe about this, and he said, when you don't know what you want, put yourself near people who do know what they want, and then you'll be happy. Well, half a world away in Kenya, they were holding their national elections. And it was turning into riots and people killing each other. Ethnic violence, just political parties getting in fights simultaneously. I happened to be reading a book or a chapter. True story of an orphanage in Kenya that took care specifically of kids who had eight. So I'm thinking, here's people who are sick, they know they need medicine. Here are people who are suffering violence. They know they want peace. Here are people who are hungry. They know they want food. I should go to Kenya. So I researched an international service agency. Within a couple months, I was on a plane and I landed in Nairobi and I was put in an orphanage for kids who probably had aids. It was very poor, so they didn't even know for sure. The orphanage name was Sadai, and it was in the slum called Kibyra. Kibyra is Africa's second largest slum. It's everything you would expect from just abject urban poverty. If you've ever seen the movie the Constant Gardener, a lot of that was filmed in Kibera. I mean, picture very narrow streets, shacks and shanties on either side, hot wired electricity, trash heaps everywhere, some of them smoldering, burning, mangy dogs, open sewers, people without adequate clothing or shoes, emaciated. And the orphanage I was going to be working in was right in the middle of that. And it was everything that the slum also was in the sense of this orphanage. It was ramshackled, it was disheveled. It was run by one lady. She didn't even know exactly how many orphans were there because sometimes suddenly parents would show up or sometimes the kids would leave. She just. It was too much for her to do all at once. The two rooms simultaneously was a classroom, a kitchen, a dining room, a bedroom. The only bathroom even close was a hole outside surrounded by a corrugated tin. As kind of disheveled and disorganized as it was, I think the woman knew what she was doing. When my first day there, she told me to work with this one particular young boy. And I went over and introduced myself and asked him his name. He said his name was Dume. And the other kids around him kind of giggled a little bit. And he didn't look like he was happy about it. He had a kind of a frown on his face. They told me Dume was just a nickname. It's Swahili, it means bull. Because when he would get upset, he would headbutt things. He looked like a kid who was probably headbutting things a lot. I tried to help him with his ABCs. He was only 5 years old. It didn't take too long though, before just sizing him up. I'm looking at his raggy clothes, he doesn't have shoes. And I noticed a tremendous gash on the side of his leg. My first reaction was to respond kind of in horror, because I'm thinking about the HIV and the AIDS and I don't know this kid and what am I doing here? And I went and talked to the woman in charge. I said, have you seen Dume's leg? She said, yeah. I said, he needs medical attention, not only for himself, but the kids around him. She said, yeah, we know. I said, was anything being done about it now she's looking at me kind of expectingly, like if we had some money or somebody to help out, maybe we would, okay, I'll take him, I have some money, I'll help him out. What do I need to do? So she kind of gave me rough directions to a hospital. And within a couple minutes I'm walking down the streets of Kiber holding this five year old's hand. I asked him how he got that gash and he said he was on a trash pile looking for scrap metal to sell and he cut his leg open. We were lost for a couple hours, but eventually I talked to a taxi driver who ended up getting me to a bus stop. And within a couple hours we did find ourselves at a hospital. I think because I was white and people assumed I had money. We pretty quickly were at the front of the line. We go inside and there's Dumas sitting finally on this countertop. With a nurse pouring some hydrogen peroxide into his wound. And every time she pours it, it just kind of fizzles up, you know, you can tell it's an infection in there. And every time she does it, he just kind of winces with pain. But he's not. He's not going to show emotion, really. He's not going to moan or anything. Well, she keeps pouring it and pouring it, and after 15 or 20 minutes of this, it looks like the infection is dying. And I look inside the wound, and I can see muscle. I've never seen a wound this deep. I'm not a doctor, though. But she says, dume, you're going to need stitches. That really means nothing to him until she gets out a syringe to give him the anesthesia. And it's like one of those things from the 50s, big glass with a metal tip. We don't have them here. We just have those disposed ones. But he even had the metal finger rings, you know, and he took one look at that, and his eyes welled up with tears. But he didn't cry when she put the syringe in, and he wouldn't cry when she stitched up his leg. And she didn't cry when she finally put the bandage on. But when she said, okay, you're done, the floodgates opened and he cried. And my instinct just took hold of me. I grabbed him and I scooped him up and I said, it's going to be okay. And he wrapped his little hands around my neck and put his head in my shoulder, and he just started to cry. And I said, dume, it's going to be okay. You're okay now. And I'm sitting here standing there holding this boy, five years old, his only pair of clothes on, no shoes, a wound that might have killed him. AIDS running through his veins probably will kill him. And then I start to cry a little bit. And we both cry. But after a few moments, he stops. And then he leans back. And he. He looked at me in the eyes, and I looked at him in the eyes. And then he smiled. And I smiled, too. Thank you.

Jennifer Hickson (52:23)

That was Scott Holz. Connect. Scott teaches Theology at St. Matthew High School in Louisville. Go to our website to check out the adorable pictures of Dumay with Scott in Kenya. So now you've heard all six Grand Slam stories. Now, I want to make clear that these stories are from different nights in different cities. And these folks were never competing with each other. But still, only one of these storytellers took home the official Grand Slam champion title in their city. Can you guess which I'm going to tell you? But first want to say that all of these stories are winners, as were all the 60 stories in the six Grand Slam shows represented. But the storyteller that officially won Doo.

Father Bob (53:01)

Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo.

Jennifer Hickson (53:03)

It was Cole Kasdan in Los Angeles, and I have no doubt she dedicates the win to Joe thanks to Dan Kennedy for joining me this hour and thanks so much to you for listening and we hope you'll join us next time for the Moth Radio Hour.

Dan Kennedy (53:26)

Your host this hour was Jennifer Hickson, senior producer of the Moth. Jennifer is the creative lead on the Moth Story Slam series in New York and around the country. The rest of the Moth directorial staff includes Kathryn Burns, Sarah Haberman, Sarah Austin, Janess and Meg Bowles, with production support from Jenna Weiss Berman and Brandon Echter. Moth events are recorded by Argo Studios in New York City, supervised by Paul Ruby West. Our theme music is by the Drift. Other music in this hour from Lawless Music, Nigel Kennedy, the United States Marine Band, John Zorn, Vanilla Ice, Suburban Legends, and the Little Mermaid soundtrack. The Moth is produced for radio by me, Jay Allison at Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts, with help from Vicki Merrick. This hour was produced with funds from the Corporation for Public Broadcast, the National Endowment for the Arts, and the John D. And Catherine T. MacArthur foundation, committed to building a more just, verdant and peaceful world. The Moth Radio Hour is presented by the public radio exchange prx.org There it is, an entire Moth Radio Hour on our podcast. We hope you enjoyed the show and again, we'd love your feedback. So drop us a line and next week we'll be back to our normal format. Also, quick word from our sponsor GoToMeeting meetings are essential to the way you work. It's an opportunity to share ideas, collaborate, problem solve. But if your team is spread out in different locations, coming together can be an impossible task unless you use GoToMeeting with HD faces by Citrex. No matter where your clients and co workers are located, GoToMeeting allows you to share the same same screen, making it easier to be on the same page. You just turn on your webcam and you see each other face to face in HD video. It's pretty much like being in the same room. Now you can even present from your iPad. Start working Smarter today. Try GoToMeeting free for 30 days. For this special offer, visit GoToMeeting.com Click the Try it Free button and use the promo code Moth. Remember, use the promo code Moth Go to meeting. Meeting is believing. And just wanted to mention before we go, the Moth main stage is returning to Detroit. That's going to be Tuesday, November 12th. It'll be presented by WDET. For tickets and for more information on all of our upcoming tour stops, just.

Jennifer Hickson (55:52)

Visit themoth.org Our podcast host, Dan Kennedy is a writer and performer living in New York and author of the new novel American Spirit. Available now.

Dan Kennedy (56:03)

Thanks to all of you for listening and we hope you have a story worthy week. Podcast audio production by Paul Ruest at the ARGO Studios in New York. The Moth Podcast and the Radio Hour are presented by prx, the Public Radio Exchange, helping make public radio more public@prx.org.